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Message-ID: <48932asstr$1093252203@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: rache696@yahoo.com (Rache)
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 01:29:24 +0000 (UTC)
Subject: {ASSM} About Penguins (MM/F, humor, strange)
Lines: 545
Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 05:10:03 -0400
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Story Codes: MM/F, humor

Copyright 2004 Rachael P. Ross all rights reserved. This story may be
archived/reposted provided my name, email rache696@yahoo.com and this
notice are included in the message text. This story is fictional and
any similarities with reality is strictly unintended.

Author's Note: This is something I'll never get around to finishing,
so I chopped it and am posting it `as is' ...because sometimes, that's
all you can do. A story called 'Stockholm' came from the original idea
I had, but it is a very different story than this. -rr

-0-0-0-

About Penguins
By rache

The door slammed and he was gone.

That sounds more like an ending than a beginning, doesn't it? Well, to
get cute with words, maybe it was the beginning of the end. Bear with
me.

I needed a job, and I needed to leave town. I'd only moved there to be
with Paul, my ex-husband. We'd been married all of 9 months before I
caught him sleeping with our papergirl. Oh, don't worry about her;
she's 19 and going to nursing school. She just delivers the morning
papers for a little extra cash. I wondered why she only came around to
collect when I was away at my own classes. I guess Paul was a better
tipper than I was. I thought she looked like a penguin anyway and it
made me nervous.

Fucking flightless birds.

So, in this town, all my friends are really just his friends. I don't
know anyone anymore. When I threw him out I became a bit of a social
leper. Never mind that it was his dick in some other girl's cunt. It
was my fault for ruining the marriage. Yeah.

I wanted to leave.

I started checking the want ads. Not in the paper, but on the
University boards. I wasn't going to be asking anyone "Would you like
to supersize your fries today?" No fucking way. Besides, I had a
bachelor's degree in mathematics already, I wasn't the Professor I
wanted to be yet, but I'm still pretty young. Just 21 at the moment.

Hmmm....I saw one for some aeronautics firm, fired them off a resume. I
wasn't really qualified, but you never know. And another one with an
oil company. Save the environment? Who gives a shit. Another resume.
Pow! I slapped 2 dozen clones of myself into the ether in half an
hour. Then I saw a good one!

The US Geological Survey in Antarctica, that was about as far away as
I could get, was looking for a stats person to collate data. Collate!
Yummy! The academic requirements were a cakewalk. The technical
requirements...mmmm...all Unix crap, no problemo! Personal
requirements...let's see, preferably single, mature, good medical
health, emotionally stable...yada yada ya...That was all me! Sort of.

I fired them one too! Pow!

I got some replies, some packages got mailed to me, but the good one
was that US GeoSurv ... I liked it! Twelve months drifting on the
icepack with nothing to do, no one to talk to, just time. Nothing but
oodles and oodles of time. I made my package perfect for them. I lied
a little. I even got a dissolution of marriage from Paul. Just for
them.

I did the interview, that wasn't hard. I dressed nice, looked
professional, carried myself well, and gave the nice old man a
blowjob. He wasn't that old, maybe 50 or so, and he had a nice cock. I
told him I wanted the job and I would do anything.

"Anything?" He asked.

I got down on my knees and smiled. 

"You don't need to...uh, beg, Ms. Ross."

"I can do more than just beg from down here." I told him. "Call me
Rache."

He must have been a holdover from the Clinton administration, because
I told him he could fuck me too, if he wanted. Even cum inside me,
because I had an abortion fetish, but he declined. He just wanted
head. Too bad for him. But he did give me the job, over about 14 other
people, all way more qualified than me. But they just weren't
cocksucking whores like I was. They'd be lucky to get through life
with more than a BMW in the garage. I had my heart set on a Ferrari. A
red one.

I was part of a crew now. That's what they called it. A crew. Like we
were astronauts or something. There were only 3 of us and we met in
California for our orientation, training, medical screening, and
psychological profile stuff. Plus we got to spend a month getting to
know each other, see if we were compatible. Like me and Paul were
compatible? I wondered. We'd been together years. I guess they have to
be careful who they send down to the Antarctic though. We might break
something.

The psych stuff was the only thing I was worried about. Because I know
I'm depressed and borderline paranoid/schizo, even with all the pretty
pills I take. If they found that out, I was screwed! So I hid it good.
I acted like everything was juuuuuust fine! All the time. I smiled and
said hi, and when I really felt like hacking someone to pieces, I
didn't do it! Nope, I didn't...I was really sweet. Even to myself.

Even the questionnaires and the ink blots and all the tricky things
they tried, I didn't fall for it. You see the trick is that you
pretend you're human. I'd tell myself, okay Rache, you're an actress
and you're playing a human. You have to have feelings now. You have to
really care what other people think. You have to respect people, and
yourself. And that's what I did. I'd watch what people around me were
doing. If they were laughing, I was laughing, if they were sad, well,
I'd be a little sad too. It's not that hard.

After all that it was almost time to go. Oh! The other two people were
both guys. Jim and Jeff. One was a geophysicist and the other one was
A plain old geologist, with a doctorate in microbiology that he
shrugged off. He'd only gotten it because he was bored. They were
pretty smart guys, and not bad company. Kinda cute for being in their
mid-forties.

The night before we left they took me out and got me hammered!!

I remember we went to some strip club in Long Beach and I got naked,
and I think I gave one of them a lap dance, but I can't remember. It
was a good night and I made about 200 bucks in tips, but the next day
I felt pretty hung over. I woke up and Jim and Jeff were in bed with
me and my head was pounding! I just looked at them sleeping there and
shook my head. Boys will be boys, I guess.

They were kind of nervous too, since I'd grabbed my stuff and left
before they woke up. I guess they figured I was mad or something. But
I wasn't. I told them on the airplane going down that hey...

"...I'm glad we got that out of the way you guys."

"Uh, what's that Rachael?" Jim asked me. He was blushing a little
because he knew what I meant and he had a daughter a year older than
me.

"That little train you guys pulled on me." I nodded and sipped my
coke.

"Oh. That." Jeff said. He was blushing too because he was the one
making me call him daddy while he fucked me in the ass, I suddenly
recalled.

"Uh-huh! I mean we're going to be down there for a year, and I don't
know about you guys, but I need some dick...you know...regularly." I
grinned at their red faces. "I was afraid you guys were gonna be gay!"

"Oh, uh, nope...we're not...uh...gay." And "No, definitely not." They were
both saying, but they avoided looking at each other. Probably because
they remembered I'd pressed their dicks together when I sucked them
both off at the end of our little tryst. More and more was coming back
to me and I was glad.

"Well, anyway, I'm just really glad because now you guys won't be
wondering what I look like naked...or how tight my pussy is...or if I
swallow or not...or if I like it up the butt...."

"Uh, Rachael..."

"Yeah Jeff?" I looked at him.

"Everybody's uh, listening." He rolled his eyes and I looked around.

"Oh." We were pretty much in the middle of a Boeing 747 that was
packed with people flying to Honolulu and I had been talking pretty
loud the whole time because my ears were plugged by the pressure, you
know, flying. A lot of people didn't look at me, or if they did, they
looked away real quickly.

"Are you guys embarrassed?" I asked them and they looked at each other
and slowly nodded. "Wow. Don't I feel low! My two new boyfriends are
embarrassed that they fucked me last night!" I said and then I stood
up and looked around. Fucking tourists.

"Does anyone have any questions?" Nobody said a word. As though they
would. Oh there was some mumbling, and some soft laughs, but they were
all sheep. I wished I had a fucking AK-47 right then.

"When you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfucker in
the room..." I said and sat down, pushing my Stewardess Call button.
"Accept no substitute."

I don't call those people flight attendants either. Especially the
guys, those bitches really piss me off. Like the one who was coming to
see what I wanted. He had a name tag that said "Toby"

"Yes?" He looked at me.

"Are you my stewardess?" I asked, like I was expecting someone else.

"Nooo...I'm your flight attendant, ma'am. What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if I could get a deck of cards." I smiled
sweetly and Toby nodded. "And, uh...how long is this flight?"

"About 6 hours, non-stop."

"Okay, so um..." I looked at Jim and Jeff, then back up at Toby. "I'd
like 4 condoms also, please."  I could hear my two companions go
white, their blood making slurping sounds as it drained from their
faces.

"Excuse me?" Toby was staring, as if he hadn't understood.

"Some raincoats, for my Daddy and my Uncle here." I said a little too
loudly maybe. "You know, tickets to the mile high club, come on Toby,
what is this? Your first day?"

"I'll uh, get you your cards." He walked away quickly and I shook my
head.

Toby came back, leaning close to my ear. "Here's your cards, but, uh,
we're fresh out of condoms and I'd like to ask if you'd mind keeping
your voice down, just a little, some of the other passengers are, uh,
complaining."

"Really?" I looked at Jeff and he just stared out the window. I looked
at Jim and he had the little blanket pulled over his head. "Well,
don't blame me if I get the seat all sticky!" I whispered loudly.

Toby just walked away and I looked at my boyfriends, pulling the
blanket down off Jim's head. "Okay, who's first?"

It's hard getting into the mile high club, because those bathrooms are
so small! So I just sat on the little counter and spread my legs,
letting first Jim, and then Jeff, wedge themselves in there and pork
me. It was good, really good, even though it had been a little hard to
talk my new boyfriends into it. The three guys who were in the
Marines, who joined the club after Jeff finished, hadn't needed any
convincing at all, they just lined right up. They we're very polite
too, calling me...

"Ma'am, you've got the sweetest little cunt!"

"Shut up and fuck me, General!" I screamed, because I was cumming so
hard.

"I'm just a corporal, ma'am." The soldier said and then he was cumming
too. So I was just swimming in spermies by the time they were done.

As I sat there, catching my breath, the door opened and Toby peeked
in. I just crooked my finger. "Come here bitch." I told him, smiling
because I knew he was worried about me staining the pretty little seat
on his nice clean airplane.

He licked his lips and dove right in, slurping and licking and
swallowing down that hot sticky mess between my legs. It felt really
nice and I started thinking I should have a fag boyfriend just to do
this for me once in awhile. I pulled his head up by his hair and
slapped him. "You missed a spot, slut." And then I was grinding
because I came hard!!

 From Hawaii we took some Air Force airplane to some Air Force base.
And then we took another plane. And then, finally, we took another
plane and we were just about as far away from anything as you could
get. The crew we were relieving giggled and made crazy cross-eyed
faces as they ran around the airplane, jumping up and down and making
monkey noises until they finally got on and left. They'd been there
the full year, all alone and I think it got to them a little.

"I'm glad I wasn't with those guys!" I said to Jeff.

"Uh-huh."

"It's freakin' cold down here, isn't it?" 

"Uh, yep."

"How come there's no trees? Nobody told me there wasn't going to be
any trees!"

"Oh, well, it's...all ice."

"I think I'm pregnant with Jim's baby."

"Oh. Really?"

"Maybe. You don't talk much do you, Jeff?"

"Uh, I'm Jim." He said.

"Yeah. I know." I walked away smiling.

The good news was that I could put the Sims on the computers. The bad
news is that I forgot my CD-Rom with all the naked skins on it. But
that was okay, because it turns out one of the computers already had
all the naked skins installed.

"Wow! That previous crew was a bunch of pervs!" I said. Jim and Jeff
were fooling around with inventorying stuff and making sure we had
enough food and gas for the generators and I don't know what. I was
like, come on guys, relax, we just got here!

"Let's make some margaritas!" I yelled and put some Bob Marley on the
PA System outside. I turned it way up too, because the nearest people
to us were some Russians 230 miles in some direction or another.

"Exodus! Powa to da peeepo!!" I love the way Rasta's talk. It is so
awesome. I'm a Pastafarian myself, I just love Italian food. Thinking
of food, I wandered into the big metal igloo Quonset hut thing where
the kitchen was and looked around for some peanut butter. I was
supposed to cook dinner every 3rd day for a year, and every lunch and
every breakfast. Three of us, three meals a day, what a coincidence.
I'd do supper today, breakfast tomorrow, lunch the next day, and then
repeat it all over again...Yikes!

"I'm not married!" I screamed and I felt a little better.

I found the toaster and some bread that wasn't frozen and started
making toasted peanut butter sandwiches. I hoped the guys liked those.
While I was waiting on the toaster I checked out the awesome cutlery
selection. There were knives like you wouldn't believe! Good ones too,
not cheapies that broke on bones, but real hard carbon steel that kept
their edge and looked good enough to sleep with.

"Hey, Rachael! What's for dinner?" It was Jeff and he was smiling. I
hid the knife I was looking at behind my back.

"Toasted peanut butter sandwiches and strawberry margaritas." I said,
watching his reaction closely. I thought I detected some small hint of
disappointment.

"Oh."

"You like peanut butter, right?" I asked him.

"Oh, sure, yeah. It's uh...great." He looked at me. "What's that behind
your back there?"

"Nothing."

"But I can...what is that? A knife?"

"Oh!" I smiled. "This! Yeah. It's a knife." I nodded. "A nice one
too."

"Uh, okay." Jeff looked a little unsure of himself. "Look, um, Jim and
I, well, we thought we should have a little...talk...with you and make
sure everything is, uh, okay."

"Oh, sure." I rolled my eyes.

"We're going to be here a long time, alone, kind of, and ...well,
sometimes people act a little...funny, uh, after a few months."

"Sure, yeah...There's no freakin' trees." I nodded.

"Right." He nodded too, even though he didn't know why. "So, um, maybe
we could go over to the living hut and, um, talk?"

"Sure Jeff!" I looked at my knife.

"You, uh, you won't need that, Rachael."

"What about polar bears?" I asked.

"We're at the South Pole. There are no polar bears, just penguins."

"Penguins?" I jumped a full foot in the air. "Nobody said anything
about Penguins!"

"Oh, well, there aren't any around here, I mean." He took the knife
away from me gently and took me by the hand.

"Good thing!" and I told him about the time I thought Chilly Willy was
hiding in my freezer with a sharpened popsicle stick, waiting to poke
my eyes out and nobody would believe me until they saw little
footprints and wood shavings in the frost. "And then they believed me
and my family was so happy they sent me to summer camp twice that
year!"

"Lucky you." Jeff observed astutely.

I nodded.

The living hut was where we would sleep and relax and watch old
movies, or play ping-pong, or read books, or just have sex. A lot of
sex, I figured, since all that other stuff was so boring. There was a
little living room, with a comfy couch and some comfy chairs, 3
bedrooms, and a community bathroom and shower. We sat down in the
living room, the guys in the chairs and me all alone on the couch.

Rachael, we've been thinking." Jim started. "And if you're going to be
our, uh, girlfriend for the next year or so, then we don't think it
would be fair to make you do anything important, like compiling data,
or..."

"What?"

"Uh, he didn't mean that being a girlfriend isn't important, Rachael."
Jeff quickly added, shooting Jim a glance.

"Did I say important?" Jim rolled his eyes. "I meant silly. We don't
want you doing silly stuff like data entry, or anything boring like
that."

"Oh." I smiled then, because that made sense.

"Yeah, in fact, we'd just rather you didn't even go to the lab,
Rachael, because, uh...because..." Jeff got a little stuck.

"Because it's so boring over there. We'll hardly be there at all
ourselves, we hate it, right Jeff?""

"Right, oh yeah, we can't stand the lab! No, we'd rather, um, we'd
prefer to spend all our time with you, uh...talking and, er..."

"Fucking?" I suggested.

"Right, yeah, that's exactly what Jeff means." Jim nodded quickly.
"We'd rather just, uh, fuck you all the time, you know, and be like
regular, uh...boyfriends, you know?"

"I'm not gonna do your laundry, guys!" I had to put my foot down. I
was pretty sure I saw where this was going. "Being a girlfriend isn't
the same as being a maid!"

"Right, oh right..." and "Absolutely, no way." They both agreed
emphatically.

"And I won't do all the cooking either, okay?" I looked at them.

"Sure, yeah, we love to cook." And "Uh-huh, we can, um, we'll cook, no
problem." They were sure being nice, for boyfriends. Even new ones.

"You guys are sure being nice." I narrowed my eyes, feeling a little
suspicious.

"Uh, nice?" Jeff looked confused.

"We just, um, well...we love you Rachael." Jim finally conceded. "Don't
we Jeff?"

"Right, oh hell yeah. Rachael, I'm uh...Seriously thinking about leaving
my wife for you."

"Really?" I couldn't help smiling super big. "You guys are so sweet!"

"Well, how can we help that?" Jim laughed at me.

"You can't!" I agreed and stood up, undressing for them. "Let's make
love!"

"Oh, sure, I guess..." Jeff was smiling. "Okay, um, right here?" Jim
looked around.

"Of course silly!" I giggled and pinched my hard brown nipples. "And
then after we make love, we'll take a good hot shower and really
fuck!" I promised them.

After we kept my promise, I had the guys remove the partitions from
between the three bedrooms. They weren't permanent walls, just some
cubicle kind of divider things. Then I had them move all the beds
together, so we had one big bed for all three of us, except you had to
be a little careful so you didn't fall between the mattresses
sometimes. It worked out really well, and the guys were a little
bashful at first, which was cute, but after a few weeks they were a
lot more comfortable with the arrangement.

I for one was very glad I'd thought to bring along a case of Viagra, I
didn't figure they'd remember until it was too late and we were
already down here. I had 24 boxes of 12 packages of 10 pills each.
That was 2880 doses, spread between 2 men for ohhh...call it 350
days...equaled about 4 doses each, with a little extra on special days,
like our birthdays, and groundhog day, arbor day, the 4th of July and
Christmas, and Halloween, you get the idea. I didn't tell them I was
putting it in the coffee every morning, because they were so proud of
their constant and very stubborn erections. I sure hoped that stuff
was addictive.

Unfortunately, I forgot to pack enough lithium and Prozac for more
then a month. By the 6 week mark I was noticing it too. Well, not
really, but I think Jim and Jeff noticed that I was acting a little
strangely.

"Rachael, are you okay?" Jeff asked me one night over dinner. We were
eating some meatloaf that Jim had cooked up. I wasn't a big meat loaf
person, so I just picked at it mostly.

"Sure. Why do you ask?" I replied, without looking up.

"Because, um, well...You've stabbed the fork into your hand, Rachael."
He gestured and I noticed that I had indeed pushed the tines a good
half inch or so into my left palm. There was a lot of blood, and I
wondered how I'd missed that.

"Ouch!" I pulled the fork out.

"Here, let me see that." Jim was just walking in from the kitchen with
a plate of hot dinner rolls. He'd forgotten to put them in the oven
until we'd sat down, but they smelled really good.

One night I heard a sound. "Jim! Jim!" I grabbed his balls and
squeezed really hard.

"AHHH...FUCK!!" He sat up in the darkness and on the other side of me,
Jeff was waking up too.

"What's wrong?" Jeff rubbed his eyes.

"Christ!" Jim stared at me. "What did you do tha...?"

"Shhh!" I shushed them both. "I heard something. Outside. Listen..."

We strained our ears but all we could hear was the wind.

"It's just the wind, Rachael." Jeff sank back onto the bed, but I
wasn't so sure.

"I think it was a penguin." I whispered.

"It wasn't a penguin. It was the wind." Jim sighed, checking his balls
for the third time. He laid back down too.

"It was a penguin." I said softly, getting down between the two naked
men.

I pulled them close, turning to face Jeff and pressing my breasts to
his chest, putting my face into his neck. I reached down and felt his
prick stirring and I lifted my leg, draping over him. I felt Jim
behind me and I felt for him blindly, pulling him closer. I moved my
hand down to his cock, stroking it gently and pulling it so he
shifted, pressing with his hips until his penis was pushing against my
ass. We'd become quite adept at double fucking like that, one of them
taking my pussy from the front, the other my ass. I liked it and so
did they.

I kissed them both one at a time, Jim and then Jeff, listening to
their grunts and groans. Feeling their cocks and hands and legs. But I
kept my eyes on the window and reached under my pillow, feeling my
knife, ice cold and razor sharp. I just needed to reassure myself
because I knew she would come back.

Penguins are like that.

=-=-=
the end
rache696@yahoo.com

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