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Message-ID: <48866asstr$1092618603@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: "Jim C" <jimc_author@hotmail.com>
Subject: {ASSM} Dream State 26 FINAL (MF FF Mult fant rom cons mc Mdom oral) by JiMC
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Date: Sun, 15 Aug 2004 21:10:03 -0400
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--
jimc_author@hotmail.com

JiMC is only a pseudonym.  Respect my privacy and I'll respect yours.

_________________________________________________________________
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<1st attachment, "DreamState-26.txt" begin>

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Copyright

    This work is copyright (c) 2000-2004 with all rights
reserved by its author.  The author specifically states that
this work may be redistributed, without charge, as long as it
is published with the same the story name ("Dream State"),
author ("JimC"), and that the story is distributed in its
entirety, including the disclaimer and all chapters.  You may
also modify this story by partitioning this into multiple
parts, as long as this disclaimer is included on each part.
I specifically do NOT permit this story to be published on
any site that charges any mandatory membership fees.

    The web sites StoriesOnline (http://storiesonline.net)
and ASSTR (http://asstr-mirror.org) have explicit permission to
archive this story.

    The following is a work of fiction (actually, "FANTASY").
Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely
coincidental and rather far fetched, if you ask me.

    This is a story that describes some sexually explicit
situations in a fictional (remember fiction?) setting.  The
target audience is adults (people over the age of eighteen)
with broad minds.  This audience is getting harder and harder
to find each year.

    Final disclaimer--I doubt that any of the people would
act in the way described herein, or even if things described
herein are even possible.  This is just fantasy, and should
be treated as such.  This fantasy takes place in the mid
1970s to late 1980s, without any fear from AIDS or any other
sexually transmitted diseases, so don't try this at home.

[Author's note: The first two parts to this story were
written as a setup for the rest of the story.  As such, they
are trying to convey a rather unique experience and don't
convey much (or even any!) sexual debauchery.  But you really
should read them if you wish to enjoy or understand the rest
of the story.]

Title: Dream State

Author: JiMC

Version: $Revision: 1.24 $ $Date: 2004/08/01 01:30:28 $

Synopsis: Joy and Pain

Chapter 26--"Jeremiah was a bull frog! Was a good friend of
mine!"

    William Voder disappeared about a year after the
confrontation in Hawaii.  During a routine message from Aimee
to Mr. Voder, she received an email bounce message that
indicated that his account was closed.

    At around the same time, Aimee received a communication
from Patricia that she thought somebody was following her and
that she intended to move and would let Aimee know her new
location.  Aimee never heard from her again.

    We knew William's secret, and were a danger to him.  On
the other hand, he knew our secrets as well.

    Years passed and we didn't hear from William or his goon
squad, nor did any of us get any premonitions that we were
being followed or that danger was imminent.  Aimee told me
about Patricia when she was sure that she'd never hear from
her again.  I felt bad, but that part of my heart had healed
in the years that had passed.

    The fact that we didn't feel any danger didn't mean that
we were not constantly on our toes.  None of us ever traveled
alone, and either June or Mary would always be close to me
and the children.  During school, the children kept locator
devices on them.  June giggled that we "lo-jacked" our own
kids.  It may sound funny, but we were serious about it.

    June and I got our certification to pilot the jumbo jet,
meaning that we no longer needed the services of Mely
Rodriguez.  As a parting gift, Debbie purchased an estate in
Maine near where Mely's family lived and gave it to her
ex-employee.  She occasionally flies to visit us; she had
many good memories working for us and we liked her as well.
Mely, who had always been bisexual, eventually married a man
she met in Boston named Scott McMahon.  They continue to live
in Maine and have started a family.

    I learned to sail, and eventually Debbie bought me a nice
sized yacht that is large enough to sleep a couple of dozen
people--more than big enough for our growing family.  I
christened the boat "Precious Cargo," due to the nature of
the people it carried, and June and I spend about two months
of the year sailing around the islands, always accompanied by
some of the other women and/or the kids; a lot of the time,
the entire family comes along for a wonderful holiday.

* * *

    In 1995, I finally followed through on my promise to
Debbie to visit all the Goddess clubs.  It was right after
school vacation, and June, Debbie, and I took Dawn and James
with us, who were six and four and a half years old.  The
tour took us four weeks, and we had lots of fun.  At our
second stop, the club in Memphis, the House Band was playing,
and Jim and Kristen saw us in the audience.  They asked about
the family, and were delighted to find out that our trip was
a special one just to visit all their locations.

    At our next stop in New Orleans, the manager of the club
excused himself when we arrived, and Patty Nadal came out and
greeted us.  Jim and Kristen had called Aimee to get our
itinerary and they sent Patty to meet us, and hopefully
travel with us.  From that point one, we were all given
V.I.P. treatment, and our trip became even more enjoyable.

    Debbie and Patty talked a lot during what we dubbed the
"Goddess Tour," and on our return from the Goddess Tour,
Debbie purchased some business property near Waikiki Beach.
She opened the first (and still the only) franchise of the
Island of the Goddess.  Aimee and Patty worked together to
hire some good people to run the place, ensuring that their
rules regarding alcohol, acoustics, and the record companies
were followed religiously.  The law firm that we keep on
retainer made sure the books were accurate and that all
applicable laws were obeyed as well.  We even hired off-duty
policemen to handle security within the place.

    Jim and Kristen Swift-Crittenhouse now perform at
Debbie's Goddess club one week out of the year, usually in
the beginning of June.  This is usually followed by a visit
on Maui where the Swift-Crittenhouse family now has vacation
property.  Our families have a great time together, which
culminates in an weekend trip around the islands on the
Precious Cargo.  On one of these trips, Jim presented to Dawn
a ukulele and Kristen taught her how to play it in about a
day.  That ukulele is one of Dawn's prized possessions to
this day.

    My money, which had been sitting in a bank in San Diego,
was invested in some technology stocks during the 1990s.
Aimee had taught me about computers, and I soon invested in
Microsoft and Amazon, as well as a couple of other companies
that didn't do quite as well.  My personal fortune is now
close to a million dollars (on paper).  When the tech stocks
started to sputter near the end of the millennium, I moved
everything except Microsoft into certificates of deposit and
a small stake in Dawn's name of the Waikiki Isle of the
Goddess.

    Life was enjoyable throughout the 1990s.  We made money,
obviously, but we also watched Dawn and James grow up.

    Dawn inherited her mother's seriousness, and anybody can
see that she has a single-minded determination to achieve
whatever she puts as a goal in front of her.  Dawn also has a
special relationship with Aimee, and I wondered if Dawn was
blessed with any of the gifts that we had.  Aimee wouldn't
tell me, though, explaining to me that Dawn would tell us
herself when the time is right, and it would be wrong for us
to push her, as she is still quite young and impressionable.
Dawn now speaks three languages almost fluently, learning
French from Aimee before she was in the first grade.

    James, on the other hand, is more of a happy-go-lucky
kind of guy, and even when he was just six years old, he had
a bevy of girl friends looking after him.  Dawn gave James
the nickname "J2" (short for James II), which has sort of
stuck at school.

    Despite the fact that James isn't as intelligent as Dawn
in his studies, Dawn eagerly helps her cousin, and his high
marks attest to both his and Dawn's efforts.  He speaks
Hawaiian almost as well as Dawn and Aimee--and better than
some native islanders.

    About the time that the children were entering public
school, Debbie began teaching both children self-defense
three times a week, allowing the two to spar together.  The
basic tenet of Debbie's instruction is Aimee's philosophy:
"The best way to win a fight is to avoid that fight."

    Of course, before the kids had started their self-defense
classes, I took James aside and told him, "J2, if I ever see
a mark on Dawn after one of your workouts, I will personally
take offense."

    James, of course, had said, "Papa, I wouldn't hurt Dawn!
Besides, Aunt Mary told me the same thing, and I think I'm a
little more scared of her!"

    Together, we laughed.

    It turned out that my warnings to James were unnecessary.
Dawn quite easily demonstrated that she could happily wipe
the floor with her younger cousin.  In fact, I eventually had
to have that same conversation with my daughter!

    Aimee had tried, repeatedly, to have me learn Hawaiian,
since she didn't want the language to die.  The best I was
able to do was learn a few phrases, and she'd work with me to
get the pronunciation correct, since I tended to Anglicize
the sounds inappropriately.

* * *

    One Friday in the middle of April, 2000, Aimee found me
sitting in the atrium.  "When did you say the Cargo is
scheduled to leave?" she asked, referring to the family yacht.

    I shrugged.  "I'm guessing the week after next, when
school is out for Easter holiday.  Dawn and James are raring
to go, and it looks like Mary and Debbie are about to give in
to their requests, especially since I was having the engine
serviced during Prince Kuhio Day at the end of last month.
I'd like to make it a family outing... if you wish to come
with us."

    Aimee simply nodded.  "I would like to come."

    I smiled.  "Thank you, Precious.  I think that will swing
Mary and Debbie."

    For the first time in memory, Aimee didn't smile after I
called her that name.  Instead, she asked, "May I request you
in Sunrise tonight?"

    Sunrise, of course, was the name of the room that Aimee
used.

    I raised my eyebrows.  Usually, the women didn't ask for
my services so early in the day--or even ask me at all, for
that matter.  I had figured that I would be with June that
night, but I knew that she wouldn't mind if I postponed her
for a day.  "Of course, Precious.  I'll let June know..."

    "I've already talked with June," Aimee said.  "She has
given permission."

    This was totally unlike Aimee.  Since when did Aimee ever
need permission?

    "Sit down, Aimee," I said, pointing to a love seat near
the recliner that I was sitting on.

    Aimee did so, obediently.

    "What's up?" I asked.

    Aimee didn't immediately answer.  I saw her making up her
mind what to tell me.

    I simply waited.

    Finally, Aimee answered me.  "I intend to conceive
tonight.  It will be our child."

    It took a minute or two for Aimee's statement to sink in.
"I thought you couldn't..."

    Aimee shook her head.  "I can, and I will, tonight."

    "You're thirty-six years old, Aimee," I said.  "Has
Doctor..."

    "I can, and I will, tonight." Aimee got up and left the
atrium.

    That evening, I appeared in Sunrise.  I loved the festive
brightness of the room.

    "Good evening, Precious," I said.

    "Good evening, Master," Aimee replied.  "I'm sorry if I
was short with you earlier today, but this is important to
me."

    "Aimee, you don't need to compete with Mary or Debbie..."

    "No, Master," Aimee said.  "It's not that, but this is
very, very important to me."

    I nodded, seeing the pleading look in Aimee's eyes.

    Usually when I sleep with Aimee, the two of us just hold
one another and relax.  That night, however, I met a
different Aimee, one I hadn't seen since Christmas day over a
decade ago.  It was an aggressive Aimee, who astounded me
that night.

    We started with what usually is Aimee's favorite
insertion position, rear entry with Aimee lying on her
stomach with her fanny raised, allowing me easy access.
Occasionally, in this position, I find Aimee extremely
aroused, as she seems to be very sensitive when my penis rubs
against the front wall of her vagina.

    After an unhurried orgasm, first by Aimee and then by me,
Aimee took my cock into her mouth a sucked me until I was
hard again.  She shifted positions so that we were both on
our sides, with Aimee's legs wrapped around my legs, and her
arms holding her body very close to mine.  I smiled as I
relished a kiss of my beloved Aimee.

    "Ahh," whispered Aimee, her eyes closed in bliss.

    I continued pumping into her, and I could occasionally
feel Aimee's erect nubbin of her clit rubbing against my
public hair as I reached maximum penetration for the position
that we were in.

    As I achieved my second orgasm that night, I felt Aimee's
presence in my mind.  "I will love you forever, Master!"

    There was something about our intimacy that overwhelmed
me.  I pulled Aimee tighter to me, and as she opened her
eyes, I whispered, "I will love you forever, my precious
Aimee." I put every effort into meaning every word of that
vow.

    "I know, Master," was Aimee's silent reply.

    My eyes filled with tears; I was overcome with emotion.

    I remember nothing else about that evening; I believe I
fell asleep, still coupled to Aimee, feeling loved and loving
her as much as I could humanly love a person.

    The next morning, when I opened my eyes, Aimee was lying
next to me.  We had uncoupled during the evening.  "Thank
you, Master.  It is done," she whispered.

    Sometimes, I wished I had Aimee's gift.

* * *

    Aimee was apparently correct.  She took a home pregnancy
test a few days later, and then went to our family doctor to
confirm the diagnosis.  She was indeed pregnant.

    Mary, June, and Debbie were ecstatic, as were Dawn and
James.  Dawn had been quite young when James was born, and
she was now going to have a new cousin born to her favorite
aunt.

    Since Aimee had a smaller build than Mary or Debbie,
their old maternity clothes were mostly useless for her.
That wasn't really a problem, as Aimee mostly wore muumuus
when she was in Makena, and they were always loose around her
to begin with.

    Of course, that didn't stop the women from purchasing
maternity clothes for Aimee.  June seemed to be the happiest
doing so, but even Aimee bought a few clothes, and even some
clothes for her baby.

    When I noticed that most of the baby clothes that Aimee
purchased were pink, I knew that Aimee had another
premonition, even though she never specifically mentioned it
to me.

    Aimee's body began to show after a couple of months.  The
other women made sure that her diet was proper for an
expectant mother, and you could feel an air of excitement in
the shack.

    When Jim and Kristen brought their family to visit that
summer, they all fussed over Aimee.  I made a promise to
visit their family compound in Chicago the next summer and
show off Aimee's new child.  Aimee spent a lot of time in
private with Kristen, most likely discussing maternal things.

    Like Mary and Debbie before her, Aimee experienced mood
swings, although to a much milder degree.  There were some
days when she would just look longingly at the Orchid room,
which the women were now preparing for Aimee and her unborn
daughter (I wasn't the only person that noticed Aimee's
choice in baby clothes).  There would be a wistful look in
her eyes, and every time I would ask her if something was
wrong, she'd just look at me and say, quietly, "I will love
you forever, Master." I could tell that having her baby was
extremely important to Aimee, and her emotional state seemed
to bear this out.

    Unlike Mary and Debbie, there was no time during Aimee's
pregnancy when it seemed that she doubted my love for her.
Despite this, I would always make it a point to tell Aimee
that I loved her, and she'd kiss me deeply in return.

    A couple of weeks before Christmas, Aimee had June visit
a "lactation consultant" (I had never heard of such a thing
before).  Aimee told June that her mother had a problem
nursing Aimee and that Aimee seemed to have the same problem
that her mother had, as she hadn't lactated yet.  She told
June that she'd really appreciate it if June could act as a
"wet nurse" in the event that Aimee couldn't generate enough
milk for her baby.  June actually jumped at the chance to at
least experience some of the special joys of motherhood, and
she apparently was successful in having lactation induced.
It was interesting to see June pump her breasts a few times,
although as I mentioned before, I'm not a person that gets a
sexual thrill out of a woman lactating.

    Aimee was very cheerful on Christmas day, and, like every
Christmas day since Dawn's first Christmas, Aimee and June
met me in the atrium to relive my first sexual experience
with June.  This year, however, due to Aimee's advanced
pregnancy, Aimee didn't ride my cock as she ordered June to
kiss the two of us, but rather ordered June to fellate me at
the same time that she did.

    A shared blow job was always wonderful.  Aimee and June
were both in my mind, and knew what their tongues were doing
to the nerve endings on my cock.  Aimee started sucking the
head of my dick right before I was ready to shoot, and after
my orgasm, she and June shared a long kiss, during which
Aimee fingered June into a lovely orgasm as they shared my
semen between them.

    Despite the fact that I was hard again after watching the
two women, June and Aimee closed my robe over me and quickly
pulled on their robes.

    About a minute after the two women got themselves
presentable, Dawn and James were at the top of the stairs.

    "Daddy!" Dawn said.  "_Kanaka_'s been here!"

    That name is, of course, "Santa" translated into
Hawaiian.  Neither one of my children really believed in
Santa Claus, but they kept up the pretense, mostly for their
mothers' benefit.  Dawn decided many years ago that any Santa
on Hawaii should be respectfully called by his Hawaiian name.
I always got a kick how similar that name was to the Jewish
holiday Chanukah.

    "I'll make breakfast first," Aimee said.  "Christmas
omelets!"

    "Onions and sausage," June and I said simultaneously,
causing the two of us to giggle.  My children laughed as
well, as they placed their orders for themselves and their
mothers.

    June left with Aimee to help out in the kitchen.

    "May we come down?" Dawn asked.

    I felt a bit nervous, wearing only a robe with my
children around.  Dawn was eleven, and I didn't want her to
get improper ideas about her father.  "Sure, honey," I said.
I knew that one day, somebody would have to have a talk with
Dawn about the relationships within the house, if she didn't
understand them yet.

    I found a lighter and lit the pine incense to create a
more festive mood in the atrium.

    Dawn called into the kitchen after she ran downstairs,
"Aunt June, Aunt Aimee?  May I help with the sausages?"

    "Me, too!" yelled James.

    I watched the youngsters dash into the kitchen and I
tiptoed upstairs to my changing room to change into my usual
outfit of a Hawaiian shirt and slacks.

    Mary caught me going downstairs.  "Merry Christmas, Jim!"

    I kissed my wife and asked about Debbie, who had been
Mary's bed partner the previous night.

    "Still sound asleep," Mary said.  "She'd sleep through a
volcano."

    I laughed at the comment, and went into the Indigo room,
where Debbie was passed out in the middle of the bed.

    There was one sure way to arouse Debbie in the morning.
I spread her legs and started licking.

    "Hmmm," Debbie moaned.  "I love the way you wake me up.
Are the kids downstairs?"

    "Yeah, lazy britches," I answered.  "They're helping
Aimee and June make omelets."

    "Cheese and onions," Debbie said, automatically.

    "J2 already has your order," I chuckled.

    Debbie pretended to wince at the nickname.  Actually, she
had long ago stopped fighting that name, and secretly liked
it.  After all, it made her son unique in a special way.

    That Christmas, there were lots of presents for Aimee,
and Dawn noticed that all of the baby clothes were dresses
and items for a girl.

    "You know your Aunt Aimee," I explained to my daughter.
"She sees things before they happen."

    "She could confirm it with an ultra-sound," Dawn pointed
out, ever the practical youngster.

    I sighed.  After Aimee's initial diagnosis of pregnancy,
she had only visited the doctor once, despite repeated
requests from her doctor for follow-up visits.

    Luckily, Aimee was in a happy mood, and opened all the
presents for her and her unborn daughter with delight.

    It was an enjoyable Christmas for everybody involved.
James got his Playstation and some games, and Dawn got some
fashions from her Aunt Debbie that I know cost a fortune
since they were shipped from designer boutiques in New York
and San Francisco.

    I always hoped that our money wouldn't spoil the
children, but neither one seemed to have that air of
expectation of having things done for them.  I recalled with
fondness their insistence on helping out with breakfast and
cleaning up afterward.  They were pretty good kids.

    June gave both of my children a special gift of a
matching pair of hunting knives.  June was going to take the
two children to a survival course, which emphasized
self-defense and making due on your own.  She thought, and
apparently their mothers agreed, that this would be fun for
the kids, as well as educational, much like the self-defense
classes that the kids were still practicing.

* * *

    On the twelfth of January, June and Aimee took a trip to
nearby Kanahena.  The trip lasted only a few hours, but it
had worried me, mostly because of Aimee's pregnant condition.
She was due on the nineteenth, although Aimee seemed fixed on
the Friday the fourteenth.

    Almost immediately after they came back, we were on our
way to Oahu in advance of Aimee's delivery.  June was very
reserved and worried about something, but I was mostly
fixated on the radiant and lovely Aimee.

    Of course, Aimee was the one correct about the delivery
date (when is she ever wrong?).

    At three o'clock in the afternoon, after ten hours of
labor, Aimee delivered a six pound, ten ounce baby girl.  I
knew that Aimee's chosen name for the child was Joy Porter.

    It was at Aimee's insistence that only June and I be in
Oahu for her delivery.  The other women and the children
protested, but the children had school and their parents
needed to be home to make sure everything was all right.
June was still reserved, and I knew that she had something
troubling her mind.  I figured that once Aimee delivered her
daughter, I'd find out what was bothering June.

    Even though I wasn't officially the husband of Aimee, the
nurse handed Joy to me after the baby was cleaned up.

    As I held Joy in my arms, I started to sense panic in the
delivery room.  I looked over at Aimee, whose eyes were open,
but who seemed at peace with herself, breathing regularly and
steady.

    The delivery nurse, however, was frantic.  "She's still
bleeding!" she yelled.

    Suddenly, medical personnel snapped into action.

    I looked curiously at Aimee, but her expression didn't
change.

    I felt a calming presence in my mind, and heard the one
expression that I heard countless times from Aimee: "I will
love you forever, my beloved master."

    "What's going on?" I said aloud.

    "Please," an orderly said hurriedly, pushing me away from
Aimee's bed.

    I glanced at June, who had tears in her eyes.

    "What's going on?" I repeated, only this time, I
projected the thought into Aimee's mind.

    "June knows," Aimee's mind-voice told me.  "I told her...
I... my spirit..."

    There was lots of noise and confusion going around me.
Joy was in my arms, not crying, but breathing regularly.  I
projected a thought into June's mind.  "What's going on?"

    "I'm sorry, Jim.  Aimee told me in Lahaina, and made me
promise not to say anything until tonight."

    "She's dying," I said, cutting to the chase.

    "There's nothing that anybody can do for her, Jim.  If I
could, I'd willingly give my life to save her, but we can't."

    "Joy... is the white... in the spiral..." I heard Aimee
calling within my mind.  Was Aimee trying to tell me
something?

    I shook my head at June.  The nurses were pushing me
further away from Aimee.  "Your sister-in-law is experiencing
complications," the nurse said.  "Can you step outside?"

    "No!" I insisted, as the nurse attempted to take Joy from
my arms.

    "Don't touch them!" June said, her voice sounding eerily
like Mary's and it was menacing enough to make the nurse
actually freeze.  "That's his niece."

    After a brief standoff, the nurse allowed me to continue
to hold Joy.  After all, the baby wasn't fussing, and was
probably just another complication in the delivery room at
the moment.

    "I will love you forever, my wonderful family!"

    I felt that inside me with my entire being.  A heart
monitor that had recently been attached to Aimee started was
beeping ominously and suddenly stopped.

    "Shit!" yelled the doctor.  "She's fibrillating!"

    More doctors entered the room.  One of them looked at
June and me and said, "I must ask the two of you to leave."

    The nurse that had attempted to take Joy from me said,
"The room across the hall is not in use.  Take your niece in
there and wait for me to come back."

    I shook my head, but June took me by the shoulder and led
me out of the room.  "Quiet, Jim," June said.  "Aimee's in
God's hands now."

    "Aimee doesn't believe in God," I said, quietly.

    June said quietly.  "She doesn't believe in the
Judeo-Christian God, but she believes in her own concept of
it."

    I reluctantly handed Joy to June.

    The tears that I had been trying to hold back started to
flow freely.  Aimee... my precious Aimee... was dying and I
was helpless to do anything about it!

    June directed me to a chair, and I sat down.  "She's
dying, June!"

    "She left us a wonderful present," June said, soothingly,
despite the fact that she was also sniffing and her face was
as wet as mine.

    I looked at the lovely Joy, and realized that her mother
never held her.  Aimee would never nurse this precious
bundle...

    June and I hugged, careful not to crush the baby.

    Finally, June found a tissue box near the bed in the
room, and she moved over to wipe her face.  Despite the fact
that the box was full, in the end, it was futile.  I let the
tears fall freely down my face.

    Next to the box was a telephone.  June went back to me
and handed me my daughter.  She returned to the telephone,
picked it up and dialed "O."

    "Hello, this is June Smythe.  I and Jim Montgomery are
assisting Aimee Porter in the maternity ward... Yes... May I
get an outside line?  Thank you."

    June dialed a number.  "This is June Smythe... Yes... The
situation you were told about has just happened.  I know...
I'm sorry, too... Thank you."

    "What was that?" I asked, confused.

    "Our lawyers.  Aimee has a couple of them here in Oahu to
take care of the adoption." June handed me a tissue.

    I blew my nose, but the tears wouldn't stop.  "Adoption?"

    "Aimee's dead, Jim," June said.  "Or she will be very
soon.  She already made out her will, and she already has the
adoption papers worked out.  I'm already named Joy's
Godmother.  Aimee told me the Hawaiian name for that."

    "_Papekema Makuahine_," I said, absently, remembering
that Dawn called Aimee "_Papekema_" when they were alone or
in the garden.  I was in a state of shock.  Adoption papers?
The reality of the situation made it difficult for me to
think.  Aimee knew about this?

    I don't remember when Joy was taken from us and put into
the nursery.

* * *

    Aimee was declared dead less than a half hour after her
daughter was born.  She had a few moments of clarity before
she passed away, and she talked with a hospital chaplain that
had been called into the room, saying that she intended June
to have custody of Joy.  June and I were also able to see
Aimee during those times, but we had very little time for
privacy, and it seemed that Aimee's condition would worsen if
she tried to communicate mentally.  All I got from her was
more babbling about spirals.  I had a vision of Aimee
descending into a spiral in something that reminded me of a
Hitchcock movie.

    I called the family compound and tearfully gave everybody
the news.  It took both June and me to convince Mary and
Debbie not to pack up and get out to Oahu, but there wasn't
much to be done.

    I'm not sure if Aimee had been lying about her mother
having problems lactating, but it was definitely true that
she would never generate enough milk for Joy, and in any
event, June was able to nurse Joy almost from the first day
of her life.

    It took a few weeks for all the paperwork to be processed
and we were told it would take nearly a year for all the
legalities to be addressed.  Meanwhile, June had temporary
custody of Joy Porter, based on the fact that the adoption
papers had been filed before Aimee had passed away.  There
was also the testimony from the chaplain about Aimee's dying
request, who had also helpfully filled out the birth
certificate for Joy.

    We would have to endure some rather invasive visits from
family services to ascertain whether our family compound is a
proper setting for raising children.  We'd always been good
neighbors, and we had no difficulty in getting testimonials
from local businesses and people from our community.  That,
and some subtle pressure by our attorneys make us expect to
be able to tilt the balance of the scales of justice in our
favor.

    For somebody who had prepared for her death, Aimee's will
did not mention what she had wanted done with her body.  We
readily donated any of her body organs that were usable at
the hospital, and then had a funeral home on Oahu cremate her
remains.  The entire family thought it was a good idea to
scatter part of her ashes through Aimee's Garden, so a part
of her would always be part of her pride and joy.  June
suggested scattering the rest of her ashes over Hawaii from
our Cessna, but in the end, we decided to scatter the rest of
her ashes in her beloved Pacific Ocean, in a ceremony
attended by all the members of our extended family, including
Mely and Scott McMahon and their children.

    Aimee left each of us personal letters, including the
children.  I never read any of the ones she left for the
others, but I know that it took me quite a long time to read
mine, despite its brevity.

* * *

	Dear Jim,

	    Of all the letters I have written, I've kept
	yours for last.

	    You have been a wonderful father to Dawn and to
	James, and I know you will be as wonderful and as
	caring to Joy.  Dawn will be entering puberty soon,
	and I know she is going to need a strong and
	understanding person with whom she can confide.

	    Please help June as she learns the essence of
	motherhood.  She has desired a child of her own ever
	since her first night with you, although she has
	kept that desire a secret from you.  June needs your
	help, as well as help from Mary and Debbie, to get
	through what I know will be a difficult time for her.

	    I have shared my mind with you more than anybody
	else in my life, and I know that when you read this,
	you will probably be extremely sad.  Please be
	assured that I went into this with my eyes open and
	without any desire to look back.

	    I ask you not to mourn my passing, but to
	instead celebrate my life.  I have known for almost
	a year that my time was coming to an end, and
	despite one or two times when I had my doubts as to
	whether or not I could actually be brave enough to
	go through this alone, I hope you, of all people,
	will eventually understand.

	    I am sorry for keeping this a secret from you
	and the family, and I hope you will eventually
	understand.

	    You have never been angry that you lost twelve
	years of your life in a coma, and I have always
	admired your strength of character.  I consider the
	time that we had together as a family the best years
	of my life, and also consider you the most
	influential person within my life, even more so than
	my aunt.  You have always called me "Precious," and
	I always felt as if I were the most loved person in
	the world every time you called me that.  I am proud
	that I was able to spend the time I have been able
	to spend with all of you.

	    You have shown excellent leadership in the
	running of this family, as well as defending our
	family when it was in danger, and I need you to
	continue to lead this family into the path of
	sunshine and warmth.

	    William Voder is no longer a danger to our
	family.  I know you still think about danger, but I
	haven't seen anything for the family to worry about.
	Of course, knowing you, you will rightfully still
	take precautions, which is probably the best thing
	to do.

	    Finally, I wish you will know that what I have
	told you repeatedly has been true ever since I met
	you, and remains true even now: I will love you
	forever, my beloved Master.

	Love always and forever,

	Aimee

* * *

Epilogue: May 2001

    I still recall with fondness the nights that I would
spend in Aimee's company, which often would be the most
relaxing nights I have ever spent with a woman.  It was
something very satisfying, knowing that Aimee was there with
me.  Nothing needed to be said, nor did we always need to
make love.  We would just hold each other and could just feel
the closeness that we shared.

    There were other nights as well, when the two of us were
alone and I would torture Aimee with her special peacock
feather that she kept in the Sunrise room, making her beg for
mercy during marathon tickle-fests.  I know the other women
were often curious about Aimee's screams and laughter, and
they may have suspected Aimee's particular fetish (if that is
the proper word for it), but nobody ever came into Sunrise
during those times, nor did anybody ever ask me about them.

    I'm always thinking about Aimee.  I constantly ask myself
what she'd do in any particularly situation.  Every night, in
my dreams, I hear an echo of her voice making that vow that
she constantly made to me.  I don't know if it is her spirit
or just her wonderful memory, but I'd like to think that
there's a little bit of Aimee's spirit still dwelling within
me, it makes me feel good and gives me hope that Aimee's
thoughts about the afterlife were accurate.

    I still have Mary, Debbie, and June, and I know that they
all love me with a passion and emotion that is consuming, and
I try my hardest to make sure that each and every one of them
feels as loved by me as I humanly can.  I feel that if I can
accomplish this, then Aimee's memory is being well served,
or, as Aimee would put it, her legacy is being fulfilled.

    In addition, I have Dawn, James, and our precious bundle
of Joy, all of whom I love dearly, and who will jointly carry
on our legacy when our time comes to leave this earth.

    I feel honored that I was able to know Aimee, even for
the short amount of time that we had together.  She mentioned
in her final letter to me that she admired that I never
complained about losing twelve years of my life.  Well, I did
complain, but mostly just to myself, and those "Rip Van
Winkle" feelings don't nearly occur as often now.  In
retrospect, I think that getting to spend twelve years with
Aimee more than makes up for any loss that I could feel about
my own missing twelve years.  I think there is a mystic sense
of balance in that--the yin/yang that I think Aimee would
appreciate.

    There is a part of me that would gladly spend another
twelve years in another coma if I were to know that I could
get to spend another dozen years with Aimee when I woke up.
In reality, I would never be so selfish as to devote myself
to Aimee in favor of the rest of the family, and I know for
certain that Aimee would not approve of such a bargain.
Eventually, my time on this earth will be over, and if
Aimee's view of the afterlife is correct, we may meet again
in whatever form the afterlife takes.  I'm still agnostic
enough that I'm in no rush to hasten that day, however.

    I wish that Aimee had trusted me enough to have confided
in me about her condition.  She had her own reasons for doing
things the way she did, and I have never found Aimee to be
wrong when making decisions like that, even when I disagree
with her.  Maybe she knew that I would try to talk her out of
it, or try to prevent her death from happening.  I don't know
how that would have been a bad thing--I mean, if I had told
the doctors to be extra vigilant after her delivery, it might
have given them some extra time to prevent her death.  Would
that have been so wrong?

* * *

    Although the entire family took Aimee's death pretty
hard, one of the most affected was Dawn, who seemed to have
seen in Aimee the influential figure that Aimee's Aunt Tomeii
must have been in Aimee's life.  Despite many attempts from
Mary, Debbie, and June, Dawn hasn't spoken to any of them
about her favorite aunt.  Eventually, each of the women had a
talk with me, and they all separately reached the conclusion
that I was probably the one that Dawn will finally talk to,
since, aside from Aimee, I seemed to be the person that Dawn
had always been closest to.  (I was particularly surprised to
hear this from Mary, who I considered to be closer to our
daughter than I was.)

    I don't think forcing this particular child to talk about
a rather painful memory would be helpful in this case, so I
have decided to wait until whenever Dawn decides to open up.
I know she'll give me a sign that she wants to talk.  This is
not procrastination; it's mostly about waiting for when Dawn
wants to talk about her.  When the right time comes, the two
of us will know it.

    I purchased a butterfly palm seedling for Joy and allowed
Dawn to plant it after Dawn showed me a stake that had Joy's
name on it in Aimee's handwriting just outside the landing on
the western side of Aimee's Garden that overlooked the ocean.
Dawn insisted on taking over the maintenance of the garden,
tending to it with the same loving care that Aimee used to.

    Dawn allows me to be with her as she tends the garden.  I
think she likes my company.  James is the only other person
that Dawn doesn't mind in the garden as she tends it.  It's
not like she has forbidden the others entrance, but if too
many people surround her there, she just leaves.  The women
seem to understand that, and were used to Aimee having the
same desires.  They give Dawn her space, just as I do.

    Since I'm allowed in the garden with Dawn, I try to help
her work it.  I love listening to Dawn softly sing songs in
Hawaiian as Aimee had done before.  If I close my eyes, it
feels as if Aimee is with me instead of my oldest daughter.
Maybe both of them are really there--if I can think that a
part of Aimee's spirit may live within me, there's no reason
to think that it cannot live within Dawn as well.  Together,
Dawn and I tend Aimee's precious orchids.  I feel that we
both sense the closeness that Aimee shared with each of us,
and having each other there eases both our minds.  Gardening
can be very therapeutic.

    A month ago, Dawn, James, and I started a project to
install an automatic irrigation system to help keep the
garden healthy, and Dawn actually seemed happy as we worked
together.  Before the project was complete, the entire family
was working on the project.  I saw hope in the women's eyes;
Dawn was talking more and seemed to be a bit happier, but she
still wasn't talking about Aimee.

    Dawn has also introduced some more native Hawaiian
species into the garden as well, including the lehua taro
plant, from which Dawn eventually plans to make poi for our
meals.  I've suggested that she create an entire section of
the garden for vegetables and fruits, remembering Aimee's
fondness for them, and Dawn thought it was such a great idea
that we now have a little patch for them on the southern side
of the garden as well.

    I am still waiting for the day when Dawn is able to have
a long talk with me about her beloved aunt.  I have spent a
lot of time thinking about what I will tell Dawn about her
wonderful and mysterious aunt, and I wonder how much she
already knows.  As I said, the time is coming soon, I can
feel it.

    Meanwhile, I have written this story as a way of helping
me remember everything I can about our family.  For you, the
reader, there may be some aspects of this story that you will
find incredible or unbelievable, such as whether or not the
gifts that Aimee talked about and that I describe actually
exist.  I leave it up to you to decide for yourselves.  After
all, as Aimee herself once said, they are just stories; most
people still think that they are myths.  This story was
written for one person in particular, and she will read it
soon, despite the fact that I left a lot of private things in
it.

* * *

    "_Papekema_ used to call me _Puanani_," Dawn told me as
she was pulling out some weeds the other day.

    I didn't need to ask who Dawn was talking about.
Papekema was Dawn's special name for Aimee.  It was short for
"_Papekema Makuahine_," which I understood was sort of a
bastardized Hawaiian translation for "Godmother." I noticed
that this was the first time that Dawn mentioned her favorite
aunt since her death.

    I remembered that I had resolved that I would let Dawn
choose her own pace.  "I've heard her call you that," I said,
carefully.

    "It means, 'precious flower,'" Dawn explained.

    I thought Aimee had told me that it actually meant
"beautiful flower," but I didn't correct Dawn.  Dawn, like
most adolescent girls, was having doubts about her body and
whether or not she was pretty, and I realized that this might
be a place where we could start to talk.  However, since I
noticed that Dawn substituted the adjective "precious," I
figured there might be something else on her mind.  Dawn had
a very intelligent brain, and never did anything like that
without a motive.  Aimee always loved me calling her
"Precious" and I'm pretty sure that Dawn knew that, so I
needed to know what Dawn was thinking.

    Reading Dawn's mind was completely out of the question,
of course.

    "I've always thought that _Puanani_ was a pretty name," I
said, softly.  I didn't ask Dawn if she wanted me to call her
that.

    Dawn smiled at me, and once again started to tend the
garden.

    After a few minutes, Dawn started singing in Hawaiian as
she once again started to tend the garden.  I recognized the
tune she was singing from the radio, but I didn't know its
name or the lyrics.  I listened to Dawn fit the Hawaiian
phrases into a song that was originally written in English.
She was actually quite good at that, and she really had a
very pleasant singing voice.  I did notice that Dawn sang the
name "_Papekema_" occasionally, so I knew who she was singing
about.

    I watched my daughter singing the song.  Dawn is very
pretty, despite her doubts.  I bet every father says that
about his daughters, but in this particular case, it's true.
As I also said, she has a pretty voice.

    Later on, I found June coming back from a run, and I
asked her for some help.

    "What's up?" asked June.  "I'm about to feed Joy."

    "Can you name this song?" I hummed the haunting tune to
June.

    "Was Dawn singing that?" June asked, surprised.

    "Yes.  In Hawaiian," I answered, surprised that June
figured that out so quickly.

    June frowned.  After a few moments, she found her voice.
"It's an Elton John song.  It's called 'Empty Garden.'"

    Shit.  I remembered the song, now.  It was a tribute
written after John Lennon's death.  For the first time in a
long time, I had one of those "Rip Van Winkle" feelings.  I
had been unconscious when the song was written of course, and
John Lennon had been long dead when I woke up.  Still, I
should have associated the phrase "_Puka mai, Papekema_!" in
the song--it means something like "Hey!  Come outside,
Godmother!" in English, and is similar to "Hey, hey!
Johnny!" in the song.

    I realized that Dawn's hints are getting less subtle.

    Luckily, Dawn and I are still best friends.  Dawn
apparently doesn't consider me a total asshole.  At least,
not yet.  Just a minor asshole that doesn't totally
understand Hawaiian.  Well, we're all human.

* * *

    Today, I was sitting on my favorite recliner in the
atrium listening to the stereo, finishing up the last pages
for this story.  Dawn was sprawled out on one of the love
seats, writing in one of her notebooks, as usual.  Debbie,
James, and June were in the swimming pool, with Joy asleep in
in a playpen out by the pool underneath an oversize umbrella
to keep the sun from bothering her too much.  Mary came
downstairs dressed in a bathing suit and passed the two of us
in the atrium.

    "Want to join us in the pool?" Mary asked.

    I deferred to Dawn, who shook her head and said, "No,
thanks, _Makuahine_!"

    Mary smiled at her Hawaiian name (literally, "mother").

    I noticed that Dawn was using Hawaiian more and more.

    "I'm almost finished this," I said.  "Maybe I'll join you
guys later.  That bikini looks wonderful on you, _Makuahine_!
Is it new?"

    Mary's cheeks dimpled as she smiled at the compliment, as
well as the fact that I used Dawn's nickname for her.
"Flatterer!" she laughed.  "I bought this last year."

    Mary left us alone to our writing.

    After Mary left, Dawn asked me, "Are Uncle Oogie and Aunt
Goddess coming over next month?"

    "I haven't talked with them since Joy was born," I said
delicately, avoiding direct mention of Aimee's death.  "I
would imagine that they will come over.  Would you like to
see them at the club?"

    Dawn looked at me.  Since the Goddess Tour, she had never
seen the House Band perform.  "Could I?"

    "Of course.  I'll work it through Debbie."

    Dawn gave me a rare smile.  "I love Trisha Beth.  She's
like an older sister to me.  Think we could invite her, too?"

    "I love TB as well, and I think J2 has a crush on her, or
he did last summer," I said.  "Let me find out the next time
I talk to Kristen or Patty."

    "_Lika Peka_," Dawn said.

    "Huh?" I knew a little Hawaiian, but that didn't sound
familiar.

    "'Trisha Beth' in Hawaiian."

    "Oh."

    "TB plays almost a dozen instruments now," Dawn said.  "I
just play the ukulele.  I got a letter from her last week."

    "We have a piano if you want to learn..."

    "No," Dawn said, firmly.  "I think I prefer singing."

    "Think we can make it a special trip?  Opening night with
the House Band, just you, me, and J2, with their family as
well?"

    "Mom won't let you go without June or herself."

    True.  I shrugged.  "I think we can make an exception."

    Dawn shook her head.  "You aren't allowed to go anywhere
without June or Mary.  _Papekema_'s rule, and you can't make
exceptions to it."

    I actually heard Aimee's voice talking through Dawn that
time.

    I changed the subject.  "You know, Pretty Flower, you
sing lovely.  Just like Kristen.  Think you're ready for the
Goddess Circuit?"

    Dawn gave me another rare smile and shook her head.  Dawn
had been the featured singer during her school's Christmas
concert last year, and I really thought she had a pretty
voice.

    Instead of saying anything, Dawn returned to her writing.

    A few minutes later, the stereo played a beautiful song
by Stevie Nicks.  I remembered Kristen singing this song, the
last time I saw her perform.

    As I listened to the song, one part really touched my
heart.  I stopped writing and looked over to my daughter, who
had also stopped writing, and I noticed that she now had
tears in her eyes, just like her father.

    I slowly got up, went over to the love seat, and pulled
Dawn close to me.  Dawn reacted by throwing her arms around
my neck and hugging me tightly.  Together, we hugged on the
love seat for about fifteen minutes.  Neither one of us said
a word, not even when Stevie repeated that verse of the song
again.  I just let Dawn cry on my shoulder, offering my
strength to my daughter, and letting her know by my freely
flowing tears that I understood how she felt.

    After all, I love Papekema very much, too.

    When Dawn and I broke that hug, I noticed Mary, Debbie,
and June all standing just out of Dawn's sight in the doorway
to the kitchen.  None of the women moved to interfere with
us, but all three of them had tears in their eyes as well.  I
don't think any of the women had heard the song, but I had no
doubt that they all knew what Dawn and I were feeling.

    Living with Empaths leaves little privacy, but the women
were smart enough to grant it to Dawn.

    "Thanks, _Makuakane_," Dawn said, softly.

    It was one of the few times Dawn ever called me "father"
in Hawaiian.

    "Never a problem, _Puanani_," I answered.  "I'm here for
you whenever you need me."

    Aimee's voice was speaking in my head.  I willed myself
not to cry.  This was an important moment and I did want my
status as "minor asshole" to fuck things up.

    I pulled my daughter's face so that it was in front of
mine.  "_Mau loa aloha au ia` oe, Mea makamae_," I said,
softly, to both my daughter and to that voice in my head.
Having got that phrase out, I allowed my own tears to flow
again.

    "Oh, Papa!" Dawn sobbed, throwing her arms around me once
again, pulling me close.  Unlike James, Dawn hadn't called me
"Papa" since she was around three.

    I don't think Dawn had been ready for the burst of
emotions that hit her when I said that.  I know she
understood every word of it: "I will love you forever,
Precious." I had never used that name for Dawn before; I had
only called Aimee by that name.  Somehow, I had a hunch that
Aimee may have said something similar once or twice to her.

    I know that Dawn won't be able to gather the strength
today to talk, but we will definitely be having that talk
very soon.  If not today, then I will allow Dawn to pick her
own time and place.

    I feel like I've earned that double-promotion from "minor
asshole" to "_Makuakane_" and then to "Papa" today.

    I have a feeling that I will hear Dawn softly sing that
Stevie Nicks song in our not-so-empty garden.  I wonder what
it will sound like in Hawaiian.  Just to be on the safe side,
I will ask James later for the translation, one random line
at a time.  Papa can never be too careful.

    Maybe I will sing along with my daughter for the first
time.

    Dawn is now upstairs in her room, slowly changing into
her bathing suit as I finish writing these words.  In a few
minutes, I will take my daughter into the Orchid Room, and
from there out to the Lanai to the slide that Debbie
installed that goes from the Lanai into the pool.  That
always made her laugh before when she was younger.  After she
slides down, her Papa will slide down right after her.

    One can only cry so much, and the pool is good for
washing away tears, even if only for the moment.

        Well, I've been afraid of changing,
        'Cause I've built my life around you.
        But time makes you bolder,
        Children get older,
        I'm getting older too.
                -- Landslide (Stevie Nicks)
<1st attachment end>


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