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Message-ID: <47739asstr$1083993006@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net>
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #036 - 07-May-2004
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Date: Sat,  8 May 2004 01:10:06 -0400
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No heavy questions this week. Just the reviews, ma'am, just the
reviews. But thanks to all who responded to the issues presented in
the last few reviews. I hope that the feedback makes the reviews
better for everyone. You'll notice a few minor changes, even this
week.

This week, we have Artists, Parisian Sex Clubs, Hiding under Pine
Trees, Bitches, Stockings, T-shirts, Endowed Gardeners, Crushes on
former Teachers, Long Mornings, and Research and Development meets
Janet.

Enjoy,
 - Crimson

"You see everything, you see every part 
 You see all my light and you love my dark"
                            -- Alanis Morissette

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The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only 
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the 
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author 
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the 
wind.

 - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson

Review Archives:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www

Thanks to Denny for checking over the reviews for obvious
bungles, though ultimately any errors herein are mine and mine 
alone. Also, big thanks to Rui, who always comes through with
the story links, even the obscure ones.

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If you like the stories contained in these reviews, Rui helps run
the Clitorides, which is a "People's Choice"-type award system
for exceptional erotica. You might want to nominate any story that
tickles you.

Silver: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Clitorides/www/Silver_Clitorides.htm
Golden: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/Clitorides/
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Story Summary:
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The Artist -- Chiaroscuro  
    (MF)
    [10, 10, 10, 10]

Nicki's Birthday -- David
    (MF, voy, exh, group, swing)
    [8, 9, 8, 9]

Hide and Seek -- Uther Pendragon
    (bg nosex)
    [10, 10, 10, 10]

My Favorite Bitch -- Joe
    (F/M M/F, D/S overtones)
    [10, 10, 10, 10]

An All Too Short a Life -- Y. Lee Coyote
    (MF, sex)
    [8, 10, 8, 9]

Twenty-Five Words or Less -- Carlos Malenkov
    (M/F, cons, humor, flash)
    [10, 8, 8, 10]

Blessed by Nature -- Bradley Stoke 
    (MF)
    [10, 9, 10, 10]

Teacher and Me -- Greg Curtin
    (MF, oral, hot teacher)
    [7, 7, 7, 7]

Another Long Morning -- Sven the Elder
    (MF, oral, flash)
    [10, 10, 9, 10]

I Love R and D -- Astronomer45
    (MFFM, mc, nc, oral)
    [7, 10, 8, 9]

Reviews:
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The Artist -- Chiaroscuro  
    (MF)

The model sits languidly in the chair, unconcerned about how her
skirt falls upon her body. She has a history with the painter, her
last pose in a black velvet dress when she politely refused to pose
without. They are closer now and she wants to be painted. Without.

This piece is basically stroke fiction, but Chiaroscuro has managed
to interleave a real story with real characters and real emotions
into the sexual tension. It's a rare skill to be able to do that.

The imagery of this piece is exceptional. It's like reading a
painting in many ways. Enjoy.


Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Chiaroscuro_Main/www/ck-lit/ck03_TheArtist-hotel2.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47644

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Chiaroscuro_Main/www/

Posted To ASSM: Wed, 28 Apr 2004

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Nicki's Birthday -- David
    (MF, voy, exh, group, swing)
    {story codes provided by reviewer}

It's Nicki's birthday, and she wants to do something a little
different. So Nicki and David visit the "Chris et Manu," a sex club,
in Paris. This is the story of what they encounter there.

David, the author, does a decent job of presenting character here.
Both Nicki and David have some reservations about participating in
public sexual games with other people. Of course, by the end of the
night, they are more comfortable with it, but David gives us a
glimpse into the misgivings and nerves that are likely inherent in
this sort of activity.

While, for me, the story was a little heavy into the fetishes, I
would imagine that most readers would find the sex scenes
stimulating and fun. Again, for me, while the characters had some
depth, they didn't really end up journeying anywhere significant. A
discovery of liking group sex and exhibitionism is still a little
shallow overall. Nevertheless, the character more than made up for
it, making this story an enjoyable glimpse into an alternate
lifestyle.


Technical       :    8
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :    9

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47648

Author's site:
None available.

Posted To ASSM: Wed, 28 Apr 2004

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Hide and Seek -- Uther Pendragon
    (bg nosex)
    {repost}

If one wears the right colour clothing, one can hide amongst the
pine trees and be nearly invisible. This fact is proved by our
narrator as he discovers Shirley lying beneath a pine tree under
which he was about to duck. Shirley is about a grade ahead, and is
wonderfully soft. At least she is until someone calls out: "Allee
allee infree" in the distance.

Normally, I'm very hesitant to review stories with underage
participants (that's what the bg code means above {boy-girl}). It's
simply that stories involving underage characters generally don't
appeal to me -- not that such stories can't be written tastefully
and with real emotion. After all, children are human, too. This is
one of those rare stories involving children that seems to work.

Uther's written a very sensitive piece here about growing up,
discovery and simply being children. We were all children once, even
Dragons. The Eros score below is not indicative of sexual heat, but
rather of a human eros that transcends what we normally see in
erotica.

Uther has once again risen above my biases, and I have to admit that
I loved the story.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/story/hide.htm

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/index.htm

Posted To ASSM: Thu, 29 Apr 2004

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My Favorite Bitch -- Joe
    (F/M M/F, D/S overtones)
    {story codes adjusted by reviewer}

When Roy finds a rather explicit tape of Meg with her boyfriend,
Joe, he is shocked, a little jealous, and seething to confront Meg.
After all, Meg has repeatedly told Roy about how Joe mistreats her
- -- slapping her, forcing her, and pushing her to wait on him hand
and foot. In short, Joe's an asshole. But, at least according to
Meg, he's a real man, and he's a great fuck, and while she wishes
he'd be nicer to her, she loves him. So, when Roy confronts Meg
about the tape, the encounter doesn't quite go as he planned. But
when Meg finally crosses the line and kicks him out of his own
apartment, Roy begins to discover a truth that perhaps he should
have seen long ago.

At first, I'll admit, I was a little concerned about where this
story was going. The sexual overtones and the plot seemed mighty
familiar -- and I usually don't like where that ends up. Cliched sex
with a lot of Dominance/Submission postulation without any regard
for explanation. In other words: shallow, shallow, shallow.

But I've read some of Joe's (the author, not the asshole) work
before in CR #035, and I was pleasantly surprised at his unique
approach to this kind of character and story. So I forged on,
despite my misgivings.

I will not ruin the story for you, but suffice it to say, this is
not typical erotica. Joe is playing with us, and does a remarkably
good job of character, sex, and most of all plot.

Again, a gem easily missed. Go read it, even if you don't normally
enjoy this type of story. I'm glad I did.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47642

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=cashingbets%40hotmail.com&index=email&submit=Search

Posted To ASSM: Thu, 29 Apr 2004

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An All Too Short a Life -- Y. Lee Coyote
    (MF, sex)

On Valentine's Day, our narrator receives what she thinks will be a
typical box of chocolates. To her surprise, sheer black stockings
inhabit the box instead, and by the end of a playful night, they are
in tatters.

First some background. Our Desdmona recently ran a flash fiction
contest that featured stockings. This story by the Coyote was a
submission to it. Thus the concentration on stockings.

Technically, the story was fair. The trouble with flash pieces is
that any language errors tend to be more noticeable in such short
pieces. I won't point out the errors here in detail, mostly because
I know that Coyote would prefer that I didn't. The technical issues
are minor notwithstanding the length of the story, but I would
imagine that they would impact judging in a contest.

The story here isn't wildly deep, but that may simply be the nature
of the flash format. It is incredibly difficult to write depth into
300 words or less. However, there is character here. I think the
choice of first person point of view was a good one for
presentation.

And Coyote does write a sexy story. I did like the imagery and the
tactile descriptions. Let's face it, stockings can be sexy and fun.


Technical       :    8
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :    9

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47684

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/YLeeCoyote/www/

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 3 May 2004

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Twenty-Five Words or Less -- Carlos Malenkov
    (M/F, cons, humor, flash)

Another flash piece. Here, the narrator puzzles over the fairness of
sex versus compensation and the trappings of fame and fortune.

I thought the flash was well done, though perhaps a little lacking
in Eros. However, Eros isn't the point here, so I think that's fair.
If I was judging the Eros content only on the flash piece, it
probably would have been a five.

However, I want to point the reader's attention towards the poem at
the beginning of the piece. I'm not sure if it was part of the story
or not -- the two pieces seemed disconnected.

The poem, "Why I'd like to spend a night with Alexxia," was very
nicely done, and made it all worthwhile.


Technical       :   10
Eros            :    8
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47686

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=Carlos+Malenkov&index=name&submit=Search

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 3 May 2004

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Blessed by Nature -- Bradley Stoke 
    (MF)

On the beautiful island of Saint Lucia, a member of the French
Empire, Edenism, the new social fad, has taken hold. In a world only
slightly different than our own, Anne-Marie stands on her balcony,
nude, watching the servants as they move about the estate grounds
cleansing the grounds or building structures. Suddenly, Nicholas
appears. Nicholas is the new gardener, hailing from British
Virginia. Nicholas is full of strange and new ideas, which earned
him a one way ticket out of his homeland. And while his unusual
ideas interest and shock Anne-Marie's complacent view of the world,
it's his unbelievably huge example of maleness that initially
catches her eye.

And it is with this member that I take issue. Before you get all
excited, no, I'm not taking issue with the mutant, freakish nature
of it. Many authors seem to have a fixation with size, and I suspect
Bradley is making a subtle point with the nature of the blessing.
Rather, I must take issue with the depth of detail. While I suspect
Bradley was making a literary point, I found the detailed
descriptions of Nicholas' schlong a little overboard to the point of
tedium. While it may simply be my preferences, I suspect that had
Bradley been describing a particularly deep vagina or endowed pair
of breasts, I would remark in the same way.

As always, I enjoyed Bradley's metaphorical comments on the state of
the world. In this story, Bradley explores imperialism, caste,
complacency, servitude and the status quo. Some might find this
unusual, and even preachy, in a piece of erotica, but for me at
least, I like that Bradley has something else to say than only that
of sexual import. If anything, Bradley may have tackled a few too
many issues with this story. While interesting, and Bradley does do
most of the social commentary justice, it might be perceived by some
as a lack of story focus.

Both Nicholas and Anne-Marie were delightfully human. I liked the
characters immensely, and the story's underlying Eros.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Bradley_Stoke/www/19_Blessed_by_Nature.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47687

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Bradley_Stoke/www

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 3 May 2004

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Teacher and Me -- Greg Curtin
    (MF, oral, hot teacher)
    {story codes added by reviewer}

Scottie Jamison enters his friendly (and I mean friendly) video
rental store. The woman behind the counter looks vaguely familiar to
him, her face and body reminding him of someone from his past.
Suddenly, it comes to him -- his fourth grade teacher -- the woman
to whom he lost his fantasy virginity, many, many times. Quickly he
dumps his copy of "Dumb and Dumber" behind the latest
Schwartzenegger movie and approaches the desk. Of course, Ms.
Hankston eventually recognises little Scottie, who isn't so little
any more, and they agree to go out, but not before a preview behind
the stacks of videos of what the night will hold.

Technically, the story needs a little work. Paragraphs break in odd
places, and there are a few typos that show up. Enough to be
distracting, but to be fair, this does seem like a good first effort
at writing.

It's the dialogue that really needs some work. I was constantly
jarred from the story while reading the dialogue of Greg's
characters. Dialogue needs to be crafted to flow naturally, as if
the character were a real person. Real people use contractions, and
slang, and figures of speech. Our protagonists here often read like
text books instead of real people, with stilted and classic English.
The text wasn't incorrect, simply not natural.

While reading the story, I found myself wondering if Greg was going
to address the student/teacher awkwardness that would almost
certainly intrude into the relationship. While we get a little of
this from Scott's standpoint, I didn't see much hesitation from Ms.
Hankston where I would imagine most of the trepidation would
manifest. She seems horny to the point of desperation. It doesn't
quite jive with the image that I think Greg is looking for. I
wonder, too, how Greg will address the issue of projecting false
images, like pretending to enjoy foreign films to impress the former
teacher.

Keep in mind, that this really represents the first segment in a
potentially longer story. (Something I wasn't warned about in
advance -- the "to be continued" at the end.) Greg may be intending
to address many of these concerns, or maybe not, in later segments
of the story.

Greg presents the story from Scott's point of view. This projects as
a stream of consciousness, displaying the thoughts and feelings of
the narrator. I think that this is a wonderful choice, given the
genre. Sometimes it can make it difficult to present auxiliary
characters in this format, but it seems to be working so far.

Personally, I'd like to see more plot, and more attention to
potential meaning in the subsequent sections. I'm not sure a
standard "student/teacher fantasy come real" story would be enough
without some further comment on the situation beyond the sexual. I
wonder where Greg will take it from here.

Technical       :    7
Eros            :    7
Character/Plot  :    7
Crimson         :    7

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47613

Author's site:
None available.

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 26 Apr 2004

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Another Long Morning -- Sven the Elder
    (MF, oral, flash)
    {story codes added by reviewer}

The narrator watches as a black stocking sails across his line of
sight. It belongs to a be-tasseled woman who prances across the room
to tackle the hapless guy to the bed. There she attempts to smother
him, whereupon he valiantly escapes with the use of his nimble
tongue.

Sven writes a fun and sexy piece of flash fiction here. I wonder if
it was another entry into Desdmona's contest?

Editor's Note:
  Yup. This was an entry in the Fishnet contest.

There are some advantages to living with a stripper, don't you know?

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    9
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47680

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/sven_the_elder/www/

Posted To ASSM: Sun, 2 May 2004

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I Love R and D -- Astronomer45
    (MFFM, mc, nc, oral)
    {story codes adjusted by reviewer}

Bill Thompson is leading new experiments for the military involving
control of animal subjects through a sophisticated application of
electro-magnetic stimulus. Together with Janet Evans, his beautiful
lab assistant, they prepare two soldier "volunteers," Michael and
Linda, to be the first human test subjects of the procedure.
Unbeknownst to Janet, Bill has made some illicit modifications to
the equipment, giving him nearly unlimited control over the
subjects. This is the story of Bill's first experiment.

As far as mind control stories go, this one is fairly typical.
Fancy technological break-through allows (usually male) super-genius
to control multiple (usually female, unwilling or resisting) people.
He then puts them through their sexual paces. Control and power
games are often a stimulating addition to sexual play. No problem
there.

But what of the point? That's where the plot falls down. The author
here does a good job of describing the mechanisms of the mind
control, and how such a situation might be realistic. Overall, I
didn't see any huge or jarring holes in the plot. The characters and
their reactions seemed reasonable given the setting and story. But
where's the point of the story beyond the sexual? Why did Dr.
Thompson choose to pursue this avenue of sexual expression? Is it
right? Is it wrong? Should he feel guilt? Should he be inordinately
proud? Does this constitute rape? Will anyone be traumatised? Should
this be treated as simply a fantasy? What is Astronomer trying to
*tell* us?

Perhaps I'm looking for too much, or perhaps simply more than
Astronomer was intending with the story.

The story works really well as a simple mind control fantasy. Not a
great amount of depth, but sometimes that's exactly what readers
want. You'll have to judge for yourself.


Technical       :    7
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :    9

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47680

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=astronomer452003@yahoo.com&index=email

Posted To ASSM: Sun, 2 May 2004

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reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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