index


Message-ID: <47728asstr$1083928202@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimson@yahoo.com>
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.0; en-US; rv:1.6) Gecko/20040113
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Crimson's Top Stories - April 2004
Lines: 551
Date: Fri,  7 May 2004 07:10:02 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

As always, this top story list is only my opinion of the best stories
posted in the preceding month or so -- it is not based on technical 
merits, or erotic content, but rather my relative personal enjoyment of 
the varying stories presented for whatever reasons. It is not a 
popularity contest or a vote, nor is it a definitive guide. Your tastes 
likely differ from mine.

As always, thanks to all the authors out there for all the stories.

 - Crimson (dcrimson@yahoo.com)

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson


+----------------------------------------------------------------------
                 Crimson's Top Stories - April 2004
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
# 1 - A Fall in Antioch -- Smilodon
# 2 - Row -- artie
# 3 - For Sharon -- Wiseguy
# 4 - Jett -- Joe
# 5 - Gaggle -- Uther Pendragon 
# 6 - Point of View -- Walt9899
# 7 - Nothing -- f. aces (as Night's Passage?)

Honourable Mentions:
      Memory -- f. aces
      Most Valuable Player -- Ann Douglas
      Avolk's Virgin -- t'Sade

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
#1
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Fall in Antioch -- Smilodon
    (MF, historical)

Cadfael, an archer in the crusades of 1098, witnesses a man falling
from the ramparts of the latest conquest of the crusaders, Antioch.
But did the man die as a result of the fall? The dead man calls out
to Cadfael, and our hero finds himself immersed in a thickening web
of deception, danger and murder. And along the way discovers love
and friendship in a hostile land.

It's no secret that I like Smilodon's historical works. This story
is a little longer than I normally review, but once I started to
read it, I couldn't stop. Even though it was posted over a month
ago, I had to review it here, so I trust that nobody will be upset
about it.

[ In this, Alexis had failed. To Bohemond's mind this
  very failure released him from his own oath and the turbulent 
  Count now {clamed} Antioch for his own Kingdom, supported by 
  Tancred. ]

There's clams in Antioch? And shouldn't it be spelled 'clammed'?
Grin.

[ "So do we all, Cadfael. But don't be so hasty in dismissing your
  {deserts}. ... ]

I'm not going to claim that this one is incorrect, since it is in
dialogue and the speakers actually are set in a desert. Smilodon
might actually have meant 'deserts' here, but my Dragon sense says
that he probably meant: 'desserts'. If not, it is clever turn of
phrase, given the setting for the story.

But most of you should ignore the technical comments. Two typos (if
they were indeed both typos), in this length of story is quite a
feat. Smilodon's prose, as always, is clear and clean. Keep in mind
that I'm *looking* for typos. Lets Smiley (and certain other
anonymous editors) know I'm actually reading the story.

Editor's Note:
  According to the Cambridge Dictionary, 'deserts' is an acceptable
  spelling in this context, at least for a British author. It is
  usually considered semi-archaic even in England, but given the
  time period of "A Fall in Antioch", it could legitimately be used
  as presented.

I love the Cadfael character that Smilodon has created here. He is
a perfect mix of wry wit, bravado, and sensitivity in a time that
mostly lacked such. In short, he makes a wonderful hero for this
story.

Editor's Note:
  For clarity, the character of Cadfael was actually created by 
  Ellis Peters, and as such also deserves credit. Smilodon has 
  adjusted the character somewhat, specifically in age, in this 
  adaptation.

Smilodon has out done himself with this tale. The characters are
rich, the atmosphere believable and detailed, and even better, we
have a very interesting plot that oozes history and intrigue. This
is a beautifully crafted story that satisfies on all fronts. Even
if you don't like longer stories, go read it. It's worth the
investment.


Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story: 
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/Fall_in_Antioch.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47205

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 22 Mar 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
#2
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Row -- artie 
    (MF)

The infamous Blue Boy shows up at a new school and sort of drifts
through, simply one more new graduate student on campus. One day,
when he is working through his usual gym routine, Denise walks into
his life with her entourage. She's a goddess, an amazon, a truly
dedicated girl. And she's a rower -- the school champion, as our
narrator determines far too late. So she challenges our Blue Boy and
in the process of preparing for the big race, our narrator learns
about himself, and makes some new friends along the way.

I must say that I really enjoyed this story. It's a little longer
than I normally review, but artie used the length of the story to
excellent advantage, developing characters that I truly cared about,
and teaching me a little about the sport of rowing along the way.
And I never thought that I could relate to rowing, so to capture my
attention is an accomplishment.

The story really is about rowing, but artie warns us about that in
the preamble. Don't get me wrong, artie weaves sex into the story
admirably and with style, but the story is about rowing and his
characters. Or maybe rowing is about sex.

Now, whether or not the infamous Blue Boy wins his bet with Denise
and who pays out is for you to decide. But you have to read the
story to find out.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www/row2.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47443

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www

Posted To ASSM: 13 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
#3
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
For Sharon -- Wiseguy
    (MF rom)

Sharon and Joel are in love; a happy and healthy couple enjoying
life and love and being together. But things aren't necessarily as
they seem, and not all stories have happy endings.

At first, I thought that this story was going to be a romp through a
bunch of meaningless sexual trysts, glimpses into a couple's life
without purpose beyond titillation. Oh, how a Dragon can be wrong.

Trust me. Wiseguy has purpose here, and if I read it correctly
perhaps one of the most noble purposes I've seen in a while.


Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Wiseguy/www/html/sharon.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47433

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Wiseguy/www

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 12 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
#4
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jett -- Joe
	(FF, ds overtones)
	{story codes adjusted by reviewer}

Penny met Jett in college where they were roommates. Two girls
couldn't be more different, but they quickly became friends and
perhaps a little more. Now, even through a turbulent history, Penny
and Jett are still friends, of a sort, but it is time for Penny to
become her own person and find herself.

This story has it all, folks. The author's tagline (A Lesbian Sex
Story) really doesn't do it justice, and neither do my hastily
determined story codes above. Stunning, deep characters, meaning,
hot sexy prose. It really is a gem easily missed. Enjoy.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story: 
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47560

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=cashingbets                                       0tmail.com&index=email&submit=Search

Posted To ASSM: Wed, 21 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
#5
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Gaggle -- Uther Pendragon 
    (nosex)

Another story in Uther's dialogue only collection. Here, we
eavesdrop on a group of girls, presumably high school girls, who
touch on the important things in their lives.

I'm not sure why this appealed to me as much as it did. It was fun,
and certainly realistic -- a glimpse into the thoughts of female
adolescence. Maybe it brings back memories. Maybe it is simply a
wonderfully insightful exposition of adolescent life, angst and
growing up.

Whatever it is, it appealed to me on many levels.

And as always, I absolutely love the title.


Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story: 
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/dial/ggaggle.htm

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/index.htm

Posted To ASSM: Tue, 27 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
#6
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Point of View -- Walt9899
    (MF)

Craig and Shelly do not have a picture perfect marriage. In fact, it
has been a while since Shelly wanted anything to do with Craig.
Sexually or otherwise. But before we go condemning Shelly, let's
mention that before Craig's multiple infidelity escapades, Shelly
was far more ... loving and accommodating. But, of course, you have
to understand that Nancy, and Andrea, and Miranda didn't mean
anything to Craig. He didn't love them -- he only adores Shelly. Or
at least that's his point of view.

So one day, Shelly agrees to accompany Craig on a walkthrough of
their tenants' house. You know, just to make sure everything is fine
while the tenant is gallivanting across the globe. Craig is a little
surprised since Shelly has barely spoken to him in weeks. But when
Shelly gets a little frisky on the futon under the mirrored ceiling,
Craig goes with the flow even when Shelly ties the hapless creature
down. Then, with the help of some modern technology, and a teenager
named "Rod," Craig finds out exactly what Shelly's point of view is
on the state of their relationship.

[It had begun earlier that morning, {in the Shelly} had looked at
 him, in ...]

Missing the word "way". This is mostly for Walt's benefit, though.
Either I was lost in the story and didn't notice any other typos or
there weren't any. Given the length of the story, that's pretty durn
good.

Now, normally, I'm not a fan of femdom stories, at least not those
that involve a male character being strapped to a futon. Worse,
Walt didn't warn me of it in the story codes. But to be honest, I
can't find fault here either. The femdom aspects weren't heavy, and
were carefully integrated into the story with definite purpose well
beyond that found in most femdom genre stories. As such, had I
written this story, I probably wouldn't have coded it either. But
for those of you that get completely squicked out with even the
thought of this kind of scene, no matter how well integrated into
the story it is, well, I've warned you, but know that it is your
loss.

I loved the premise of this story. Walt gives us tons of character,
with realistic emotions and presentation -- something you don't
always see in these kinds of stories. I mean, technically, we are
dealing with multiple cheating, combined with femdom overtones here.
And Walt pulls off a story that is erotic, meaningful, and
entertaining.

Thanks.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47484

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=Walt9899&index=name&submit=Search

Posted To ASSM: Thu, 15 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
#7
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing -- f. aces (as Night's Passage?)
    (MF, nosex)

I'll admit to some confusion here. I apologise in advance as to who
should be credited with this story. It wasn't clear who wrote this
story, "Night's Passage" or our f. aces. I'm sure someone will
correct me.

Anyhoo, this is an interesting story, perhaps best summarised as the
tale of a relationship breakdown. It happens in a coffee shop, the
anonymous girl leaving the anonymous narrator. While we see the scene
different ways and with different perspective, the result is
always the same.

[ She {rester} her other elbow on the table, leaning in a bit more. ]

Shrug. Minor typo. That's it, folks. Clean.

This story is quite different than what we normally see around here.
I'm still thinking about it, and that's a good thing. I don't know
if f. aces (we'll assume f. is the author) is presenting different
scenarios in someone's head, or different characters, or if we are
in a time warp. The funny thing is, it doesn't matter. The story
isn't about the participants, nor about the break up itself. It's
about the character and feelings that we all experience. That makes
this a very human piece, and that human element is often lacking in
erotica.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story: 
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47573

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=f.+aces&index=name&submit=Search

Posted To ASSM: Thu, 22 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Honourable Mention
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Memory -- f. aces
    (MF, nosex?, true)
	{review requested}

In a lonely hotel room, Danny reminisces even while experiencing
different things.

[ And I roll over, throwing my arm around the waist of this girl, this
  {phatasm} who is taller now in the moonlight through the window, maybe
  curly-haired, maybe high of cheek. Maybe she smells of hotel soap ... ]

"phantasm"

However, the imagery here is exceptional.

[ And when I kiss her, I don't know how she kisses, with a slight {muoue} of
  the lips ... ]

"moue" (though I'll admit I had to look it up and I learned a new
word today)

Normally, I'm not fond of second person accounts, and I normally
advise authors to avoid second person. However, in this case, I
think it works.  One must be careful writing in second person; in
other words, ensure you have purpose in doing so. aces doesn't write
the entire piece in second person, which helps. However, I will say
that aces' style here is very effective, and the viewpoint is
appropriate for what he is trying to accomplish. There is certainly
purpose here.

The imagery and the subtlety are spectacular. Very nicely done.

Technical       :    9
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47265

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=f.+aces&index=name&submit=Search

Posted To ASSM: Mon,  5 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Honourable Mention
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Most Valuable Player -- Ann Douglas
    (MF)

The Most Valuable Player can be a relative thing. The Rockets and
the Bluejays are bowling for the League Championship, and the
Bluejays are up by 17 points. It looks like Clayville will take home
the trophy. Even Tim, the best bowler in the League, drops a gutter
ball when he is distracted by his ditzy girlfriend who is flirting
with the captain of the opposing team. It all comes down to Joe, a
quiet, mediocre bowler. And even while Joe should be the hero of the
night, Tim scores the MVP award yet again.

Joe doesn't mind at all -- he's that kind of guy -- but Moria, his
teammate, disagrees with the decision. After the celebration
drinking begins to wind down, Joe offers Moria a ride home, and we
find out really who should be the MVP.

A couple of technical issues fell into the text, but nothing overly
serious. Just typos:

[ Quiet returned as Tim Carpenter walked up to the foul {find}
  and took aim. ]

Not sure, but I suspect Anne meant "line". However, I'm not really a
bowler either, so this might be jargon.

[ "Was,"  Joe corrected her. "I've been retired fifteen
  months. They were just passing along a little professional
  {curtsey}." ]

"Curtsey" isn't necessarily incorrect here. Depends on what Anne
wanted to portray, however, I'm guessing that she meant: "courtesy".
Sometimes those blasted spell checkers can't catch everything. Oh
well.

As I said, the story is well written, and the typos aren't all that
distracting. Only something to watch for.

I found the sexual description a little too detailed -- it didn't
quite mesh with the sedate pace of the rest of the story. However,
for most readers, the sex scene will be satisfying.

I really liked the characterisations and the plot here. The story
flowed along, and pulled me into Anne's world. I liked Moria, and
Joe; they seemed real. And the story had far more depth to it than a
simple sexual tryst.

Technical       :    9
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story: 
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/mvp.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47541

Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 19 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Honourable Mention
+----------------------------------------------------------------------
Avolk's Virgin -- t'Sade
    (MF 1st magic)

Avolk is shunned. Night and day, he wears a cloak to disguise his
pale white skin and the prominent blue veins that crisscross his
features. But every year, he makes his way to the temple of Vemi,
where a rite of passage of sorts is performed; a tradition where man
and woman are joined in the search for true love. Despite the tenets
of this ceremony, Avolk remains shunned and deprived of that which
he desperately wishes. It will take an encounter of a different sort
to complete his journey.

[ His skin was almost white, except for the fine tracery of 
  blue veins that crossed beneath it {his} . ]

[ Many jaws dropped as they {notice} her neatly trimmed curls and the 
  tight muscles of her buttocks as she swirled around in time with 
  the music. ]

T'Sade's prose is quite clean. The odd typo slips through, but for
the length of the story, it is certainly readable.

The only real complaint that I had about this story was that the sex
scene dragged for me. I found it a little over-described and I
wanted to skip over it. Keep in mind that this is typical for
Dragons but perhaps not so typical for the average reader. For most,
I suspect, the sex scene will be fine. For me, I find it hard to
read that much explicitness spanning many multiple paragraphs. I
want *something* left to my imagination.

However, I really, really liked t'Sade's story here. The characters
came alive, and the plot was wonderful and entertaining. Nicely
paced (except for the sex scene) and meaningful. And after all, this
is the part of the storytelling that is most important, right? Who
cares how well an author can describe inserting tab A into slot B,
if there isn't any story? T'Sade tells a wonderful story here. Don't
miss it.


Technical       :    9
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :    9

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47544

Author's site:
http://www.tsade.com/

Posted To ASSM: Mon, 19 Apr 2004

+----------------------------------------------------------------------

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: 2.6.3ia
Charset: noconv

iQEVAwUBQJpiB0xM3srBk85hAQF1dQf/Zhxh+97GXxniyGQfuaoEXD0FpGgGmoEg
xr7seX+AYEr62Rv/ABEoshBHMNjkff0Pl8d9fxWsyEDyTKBAIfBeq6Hen1gHqogK
k5RuscImikVPmeShtbUBXzYOeivR52ZMkpxaSFDDPANPA5q3EkDnmRFgDJ/wFF+P
HBFqu6pXvZDG1mChg0sDDyjx3Ag0DziKKCo9EVJeiIYGSVMnUwPwCWslo98C6bTE
32/5oiCZu6o4nQP+LTi9hd1fAQ/o1mSCCrgWsYV/UZWQ5PQhBHBB49xw9A7072OZ
vfHnR1Up7z79HPlhcGLU8+d2C1r8/FYqoKI9+ThvrTnqNx1KfP0PjA==
=0Lh8
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>|
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> |
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+