Message-ID: <47576asstr$1082664604@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <jcl@bogus.mailbox.server.org> X-Original-To: ckought69@hotmail.com Delivered-To: ckought69@hotmail.com From: Jack C Lipton <jcl@bogus.mailbox.server.org> X-Original-Message-ID: <200404221208.i3MC8Dq27324@bogus.mailbox.server.org> X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 08:08:13 -0400 Subject: {ASSM} Late Arrival [4/4] (MF rom angst exhib) Lines: 431 Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 16:10:04 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47576> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: RuiJorge, dennyw Author: Jack C Lipton <cupasoup@softhome.net> Title: Late Arrival Part: 4/4 Universe: Arrivals Summary: Endings don't preclude beginnings Keywords: MF rom angst exhib Revision: $Revision: 1.7 $ Archive: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/CupaSoup/www/ Mailing List: FAQ: RCS: $Id: goneButNot.x,v 1.7 2004/04/20 11:08:17 jcl Exp $ Late Arrival 4/4 by Jack C Lipton We cast off the lines and slowly worked our way out of the marina. Aboard with me were my two biological daughters with their husbands, my step-daughter with our infant son, myself and two of my daughter's husbands. An urn rested in the galley, awaiting an appointment. It had been a busy year, filled with both a bunch of highs and then a set of lows, culminating in this trip. I'd assigned Pam to the wheel where she managed both course and speed during our slow run to the ICW and continued, with bare sticks, across the small bay to "structure C". We had to traverse this draw-bridge in order to get to the Gulf of Mexico. Pam had arranged her long locks using her "CREW" hat to gather her pony tail which now blew in the wind. She still carried some of the weight that had come with JJ (Jack Junior) added, truth be told, to her beauty. She was very happy her pregnancy had enhanced her feminine figure. Despite the somber mood we all carried I felt warmth in observing Carl holding his wife in his arms on the foredeck as he gave her a back rub. Kelly's bulging belly showed she was pretty far along with one of my grandchildren. It was reassuring that they had their life-jackets close at hand. I smiled at my former co-worker's dedication to his wife, happy for them both. My other daughter Kim was below, having snagged another of my former co-workers after her divorce. It seemed the twins had coordinated things well for my ego (and likely their own); both of them were well on the way to bearing me grandchildren. It was good that their first trimester was over and their morning sickness abated for this trip. Like Pam they were pleased with some of the changes that pregnancy had wrought. My youngest child, the son of my step-daughter, slept in his baby seat on a berth in the main cabin with Kim and Joey in attendance. We'd timed it well; we didn't have to wait more than five minutes before the next scheduled opening (even though we still had to call for it). We only had to brave the wakes of the various fishing boats who were short enough to just zoom along under the drawbridge, roughening the water for the rest of us. It was a good thing we'd had practice here. We got through the bridge and continued with the east wind on our beam as I jumped up onto the deck. Joey, clad in his life vest as I was, joined me in hoisting each of the sails in turn; Kelly and Carl worked to stay out of the way. Once both halyards had been secured he rejoined his wife below and I started trimming the sails. Pam put the transmission into neutral after throttling down the little diesel, letting it run for another minute as we picked up speed from the wind. Our sails billowed, filling with the breeze and the boat started heeling as we accelerated, allowing me to further trim the sails. Throughout this process my son slept. He'd been here enough in the past with his mother and his grandmother, my wife. It seemed he'd consistently slept better on the boat. Pat had commented, despite her discomfort at the time, that it probably reminded him of Pam's womb. ---------------------------------------------------- I'd spent a lot of the last year sailing with my wife. Yes, she knew her end was near, but we spent that time together after so long lost from each other. In our travels we'd discovered we still fit together in every way that counted. And it was that very fit that made her shortened life hurt me so much. Wandering around the Caribbean had been wonderful as we island hopped. We'd arrange to have our daughters fly in for a week-end with us here and there. Beyond continued contact and comfort with our family, it worked for other reasons (like bringing down Pat's pain meds). When Pat's brain tumor had progressed enough to make it too hard for her to work with me on the deck, it was time to sail back to Tampa. This was hard to do, but we felt it was best to ensure that all of the family was together. By this time only Pam was available-- and she'd flown down with JJ. She and I would do the real work of piloting the boat back. It is strange how happy an infant can be on a sailboat. Looking back on that time only a month before... I realized it must have been like a wonderful gift to Pat, a chance to see, hold and care for her own grandson, knowing that another generation had started. As we'd worked our way around Cuba despite the storms we occasionally faced (not having been able to hold off for a better weather window) Pat had been able to keep JJ entertained while Pam and I worked alternating watches to run us back. Through this Pam was always on call to feed her son. I've been told this got entertaining when I was sound asleep. Admittedly, he didn't always do a good job draining her so I got my turns too. That tended to make it worth my while to wake up. We'd made it back in to the marina during the evening; it was funny how JJ fussed once he was on dry land. Pat's end had taken another week, her life ebbing away on an hourly basis. Her last words were to me: "thank you for coming back" before she faded into sleep. She never reawakened in the following 36 hours before she was gone. ---------------------------------------------------- This history fresh in my memory, some of the weight on my soul was soon lifted as if carried by the wind, the deck shivering to a symphony of wind and wave. With the motor off, the quiet was broken only by the wind in the wires, the occasional slap of waves against the hull, and the marine radio occasionally muttering out calls between boats. We turned west once past Pass-A-Grille placing the wind mostly behind us; this time it was Carl helping me trim the sails for this broad a reach. Once we'd winched and set the sheets, I turned to smile at Pam and my smile died aborning. She's changed her hat. Pam was now wearing Pat's hat. All right, I knew it was planned, but my smile died suddenly on seeing her with Pat's "FIRST MATE" hat. Such a small thing, it brought the immensity of my loss home to me. Pat was the second wife I'd lost. Pat had made me promise to wed Pam, her daughter. Pam and I had agreed. At the time this promise had helped me, even with the difference in our age, to hang on. We'd said our vows only the day before. Despite our intimacy, I wasn't yet thinking of her as my wife. I was suddenly afraid. I was very afraid. For a panicky moment I had no idea why. A sudden flash and I saw through to my fear. I didn't want to lose my third wife. I couldn't cope with the idea that I could lose Pam, despite her youth. There is a time when one can feel cursed, when the little self-doubts suddenly expose themselves as larger issues. And I wondered if it was fair for her to face my end, for the odds were for her to outlive me. Our eyes met and it felt like she could see through to my very soul, just as Pat had. Her eyes trapped me and she smiled to me. In that instant... ---------------------------------------------------- Pam had surprised me, just days after we met, telling me she had ovulated. Her egg racing to my sperm, it seemed, and met. JJ was, as near as we could figure, a product of our first coupling. When she'd told me of her ovulation schedule my heart had fallen, feeling that I'd betrayed Pat. I was devastated. My moping motivated Pat had to fly down the following week to console and reassure me that I had not, in fact, betrayed her. Instead she tried to tell me she was happy. I didn't immediately understand why she seemed so incredibly pleased given that I'd apparently impregnated her daughter. Mind you I wasn't about to suggest she dispose of it; part of me was feeling desperate to actually hold my own baby in my arms. The real bombshell dropped the following week but not until she'd assured us (by pushing us together) that she wanted us to be lovers, if not more. Pam's warm presence had cushioned me when Pat finally told me about the borrowed time she faced. An inoperable tumor had her facing radiation and chemotherapy once our wedding and honeymoon was over. We didn't know then that the treatments would be ineffectual with this cancer, we hoped and expected the best. When the treatments turned out to be futile, though... We knew what was needed, of course. Faced with a shortening amount of time, we chose to pack in as many happy memories as we could. We wanted her life to feel it had been full. That it would fill my life, too, had not been planned. It happened for me, too. Given her remaining time, I'd left my job when the time came for the wedding. Except for trips back to Tampa with Pat to see Pam as my baby grew within her we were staying together on the Island. Each of those visits included Pam and I "getting it together" under Pat's supervision. I understood what Pat wanted but it bowled me over to realize that her daughter Pam was in full agreement. Despite the pain, nausea, sickness, weakness and despair I witnessed in the first three months of my marriage to Pat... I won't say it was fun, all right? It was awful. It was hard to face. And no matter how much I loved her, I felt powerless to help her do more than find physical comfort. That sense of impotence is hard to bear. But I bore it. As much as it was difficult to bear, I could never have lived with myself had I not been there for Pat. I did my best to pour my own strength into her abused body, holding her, keeping her warm and getting her to the toilet when she needed it and washing her when she was weak. As soon as we recognized the futility of further treatments Pat and I talked it over and popped her specialists the bird. Flying down to Tampa we stayed with my pregnant lover, and again Pat made sure that Pam got attention from me. By this time Pam's pregnancy was progressing normally; Pat and I took advantage of my old condo at the marina and started sailing. We'd slowly increased our range a little bit at a time, getting Pat comfortable. She took to it like a duck to water. Our sail down to Key West had been the acid test. Pat did fine. We flew Pam down for a week-end with us before we jumped off to the Caribbean. I missed her. ---------------------------------------------------- That's when JJ fussed and I knew it was his dinner time. As I reached for the wheel Pam kissed me before going below. We'd discussed this, Pat and I. Cremation followed by her ashes sprinkled on the Gulf of Mexico, our family around us. ---------------------------------------------------- I'd come so close to being ready to lay down and die so our ashes could mingle; it was only my promise to wed and care for Pam that kept me going. I won't lie; Pam laying JJ down on top of me to sleep was some of the best therapy I'd ever gotten. Grief could pass holding this part of Pat and myself. ---------------------------------------------------- When the moment came we'd already turned south again, the sails fully inflated in a reach, and the perfect conditions to say good bye to what was left of my first love's body. I stood on deck and exposed the urn to the wind in the slot and Pat's ashes stirred and lifted, carried away by the wind like the tail of a comet. It did take some time before the small receptacle was finally empty, time enough for silent prayers by all of us; we watched as her ashes took flight into the air and out on to the sea. Good-Bye, my dearest. Turning to the woman who'd borne me a son and the two daughters I'd not known I had for over thirty years, I wept. I'd managed to hold much of my grief within until now. When I returned to myself I was in my cabin, wrapped up in a warm woman. I could tell she was warm because she was quite naked and I was spooned against her. Pam lay within my arms. I felt good like this. It took only another minute to discover that I could feel very good; something I'd missed since Pat's death returned to me and Pam was soon receiving it. Her moans of approval reached me and we were soon mutually rewarded. We weren't quiet. Boy were we not quiet. We got smiles of pleasure and approval from everybody when we crawled out. Both of my real daughters hugged me once JJ was handed to his real mommy; each of his aunts (and, literally, half-sisters) had pacified him by the simple expedient of putting him on their own teats. I thought I saw some sign of reluctance in Kim's eyes when she pulled JJ away from her nipple. Carl looked pretty good; he'd taken Pam's CREW hat as he stood by the wheel, running his eyes around to maintain his situational awareness and maintaining our course southward. It was a beautiful day, the bimini was down, the sun was shining, the wind was touching us and my life with Pam just beginning. Our honeymoon could truly commence once her mother's remains found repose. Kim had handed me a mug of tea before I climbed up into the cockpit. I was sitting with Joey and Carl as I sipped the brew and we sat in a companionable silence, nodding at each other now and then, and I got my next surprise. My daughter Kim popped out of the hatch completely naked and holding a bottle of sunscreen. Pointing to her husband, she said "You, me, this sunscreen, the foredeck. Now." I have to admit my daughters are beautiful women; their pregnancies had somehow increased their beauty to me, now. Joey was no idiot, he scrambled and they both carefully moved to the foredeck where he started working the sunscreen into her skin. The wind was not so strong that we couldn't hear her moans of approval along with the directions to pay extra attention to some of her bits. Kelly came up with another of the bottles of sunscreen we carried on the boat; again, like her sister, quite naked. I only knew it was Kelly because of the one scar on her arm where a perp had tried to knife her before she subdued him. I was told to take the wheel "After all, dad, you had your fun already. It's our turn now." I watched Carl blush as she led him to the cabin's top. Again, it was a nice show. And I'd been told by Pam that once they'd both been pregnant that they'd swapped each other's husbands a couple of times. Heck, Pam was familiar with both of their husbands, too, as she evaluated them for her sisters. It seemed a miracle that she chose to stay with me. I'd not yet surrendered to Kelly and Kim's threat to try me out. Despite Pam's encouragement. I thought life was far too complicated already. Pam had remarked some nights previously that I wouldn't be able get either of my daughters pregnant this trip so inbreeding wasn't a problem. The eyes the girls (all right, women) gave me were mischievous. I knew by now that Kel and Kim and Pam were bisexual and loved each other; I was comfortable with that. Pam told me, though, that seeing Kel and Kim's face in me had been attractive to her. Pam arrived in the cockpit with the baby in her arms and took a seat. She was also quite naked as she nursed our son. Our eyes met and she smiled. "There is more sunscreen on-board, right? I forgot where we stowed it." I nodded. She reached with her free hand and took the wheel: "Get it, please." My quick response getting up and diving for the stash under one of the berths (if there's one thing you go through quickly in Florida, it's sun-screen. Oh, yeah, and water, too, so we had a good stash of both). I first greased up my son with the cream as he slept, Pam handing him to me. I then brought up his baby seat and placed it on the cockpit sole with us, placed him in it, and opened the seat's sun-shade. Only then did I get to hear more directly appreciative moans from Pam as I spread the sun-screen all over her body while she handled the wheel. I paid extra attention to the little bit between her legs. Only her nipples avoided treatment, needing to keep them clear for JJ... and me. When she said "Your turn" I looked surprised, then followed her order. I realized that Pat must have told her about the times we sailed naked. Looking around I could tell that the whole boat had become a clothing optional zone. I caught Carl tossing the bundle of his own clothes down the main hatchway to a berth. He saw me and gave a thumbs up with his smile before turning back to Kelly. Well... it was easy to see that I had a very happy family. And Pam was having way too much fun coating me with the sunscreen. It's times like this that I really wished I'd invested in self-steering gear. When Pam curled up to my side at the wheel it was just like Pat ... and the sudden recall didn't hurt this time. I realized that I had said my good-byes, I had given Pat the best I could in a bad situation, and that I couldn't hold many regrets. Pat's time had been short, yes. But instead of obsessing on her death, we'd chosen to live it instead. It was Pam, now, reminding me to live. Today. Not in my yesterdays, but today. And today looked like a very beautiful day. I would enjoy watching today's sunset with my extended family, too. They belonged. And so did I. -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>| | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+