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From: "Carol " <cobillard@hotmail.com>
Subject: {ASSM} Some further reflections on life and religion and sexuality and girls' rights
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Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2004 07:10:03 -0400
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Subject: Some further reflections on life and religion and sexuality and
girls' rights


--------------------------------------------------------------


   La costanza, tiranna del core,
   Detestiamo qual morbo crudele
   Sol chi vuole si serbi fedele:
   Non, v'ha amor se non v'è libertà
      -- Il duca di Mantova, Rigoletto, Prelude, Scene 1


"'Here is a girl, aged thirteen or possibly less, unable to speak
English, living in London with a man twice age to whom she has been
married by Moslem law. He admits having had sexual intercourse with
her at a time when according to the medical evidence the
development of puberty had almost certainly not begun. He intends
to resume intercourse as soon as he is satisfied that she is
adequately protected by contraceptives from the risk of pregnancy.
He admits that before the marriage he had intercourse with a woman
by whom he has three illegitimate children. He further admits that
since the marriage, which took place as recently as January of this
year, he has had sexual relations with a prostitute in Nigeria from
whom he contracted venereal disease. In our opinion a continuance
of such an association notwithstanding the marriage, would be
repugnant to any decent minded English man or woman. Our decision
reflects that repugnance.' ...

"Held: the marriage would be recognised by the English court as a
valid marriage ..."

-- [From: Alhaji Mohamed v. Knott, [1969] 1 Q.B. 1, quoting,
above, top, and reversing the decision of the Southwark justices;
the result has been abrogated by provisions of the Domicile and
Matrimonial Proceedings Act 1973, s. 3(1).

[Lest readers smugly assume that Christian America was always free
of such heathen influences, let me remind you that (1) America once
had a Muslim colony, too: Philippine Mindanao, and the U.S. Supreme
Court had to deal from time to time with the matter of the
supremacy of the U.S. Constitution over the Philippine Organic Act
of 1902 and, (2) we have today whole towns populated by dissenting
Mormon polygamous families. Not to mention Jewish, Muslim and
atheist polygamists, all of whom I have referred to in prior
postings and can be found online. Start, with respect to Mormons,
Tapestry against Polygamy at

http://www.polygamy.org

[Finally, our view has always been that only sex between same-aged
adolescents is right and good; I quote from the above just to show
what is "normal" elsewhere. Read on for an adumbration of my
philosophy of life and of childraising.]

-----------------------

This is another chapter in a series of essays I have been writing
over the past two years, drawing from my childhood diaries. I have
written that for us virginity something to be rid of early; it
represented an inhibition that brought no pride, its loss was, yes,
a rite of passage but only in the sense that a girl came to terms
with the notion of penis as God's instrument for her, the means of
Holy Communion and of receiving semen, the literal body and blood
of Jesus and His heirs. As girls and boys we had been brought up in
familiar nudity and in awareness of sex as part of normality and of
joy. Romance was part of it: but romance was with God too, and
pairing off as couples was for later.

Adolescent sex holds a joy, and exercises a right and a freedom,
that frightens many adults, especially those in positions of power:
the very reason why most religions deny and suppress it, why
parents chaperone their daughters, why the State condemns and
punishes its underage enjoyment. "Official" attitudes to nudity are
irrational: both Victorian/Islamic/fundamentalist and at the same
time prurient and quasi-commercial. We all want to see erect
penises and semen, yet we fear them. We settle with the sight of
all but a little bit of breasts, and occasional glances of more in
films. But we are scandalized (as in the censored French film "Fat
Girl", when we are brought face to face with child sexuality and
sexual violence upon children). As in the old French bureaucratic
chant, our leaders delight in "finding us in an irregular
situation" and having the option of prosecuting us, even taking
away our kids. Yet this denies reality: denies what goes on in the
world, and what is natural. And there is nothing more natural than
having sex, and for kids waking up, one day, wanting it too. As
kids, girls especially, approach the end of their teens, our wants
and needs change. Having been confronted with the promise of sexual
joy, we suddenly look down at our bodies and realize they are
touchable, feel-able, susceptible to giving and receiving tactile
pleasure in a sexual way. Yet, having educated us fully, having let
the cat out of the bag, we are told to wait. (Never mind that, Net
Nanny notwithstanding, every kid, today, has seen erect and
ejaculating penises and semen-covered faces and vaginas on the
Web.) And, it is said, we should be ashamed if we don't: we must
resist both our humanity and our sexuality. I don't know what drove
Moses David to extremes, but in his better days he made sense of
all this, and he invited sexually aware and sexually able kids to
express themselves. Mom and Mom's Friend left when the Children of
God went beyond that degree of liberality: they accepted kids'
right to love and sex from the moment of puberty, but they also set
down criteria to keep kids safe and to keep them within their own
closed and safe community of like-minded families. That statement
of rules leaves open how one ought to deal with pre-puberty
expression of sexuality, especially given that children were
exposed to adults and teens having sex. My research for essays I
did for my college psychology thesis surprisingly found rather
little on the subject that was convincing, most addressed to what
the experts considered "sexual deviancy". A few conclusions
regarding "normal" kids:

-- There is a known "gratification disorder" of children, but this
relates only to very young children and toddlers, usually with some
serious disease such as epilepsy.

-- A study in Turkey showed that masturbation among under 5s (a
common "disorder") might be "cured" by psychological counseling and
good parenting

-- A study in Canada found that the "mean age at first intercourse
among nonvirgins was 13.76 years for males and 14.8 years for
females"

-- The rate of spermaturia [appearance of first sperm production
in boys] at age 12 years was 37.5%, and at age 13 it was 68.9%. Our
previous report showed the rate at age 11 years to be less than 1%.
Because of an uncertain number of false negatives, these are
probably under estimates of the true rate of spermatogenesis. (I
find this very interesting because it approximates the age of first
vaginal sex among boys I knew; but compare that with the
observation about boys in Israel.)

-- A study of 4,976 high-school students in Israel, representative
of this age group for the entire country except for 13 percent who
attend religious schools, revealed that about one-third of the boys
aged 14-15 and almost one-half of those in the 16-17 age category
have had sexual intercourse.

-- As for slightly older students, perhaps not directly on point
but useful to know: "Data were obtained from a nonrandom sample of
203 unmarried university females ranging in age from 18 to 22 with
a mean age of 19.8 Sixty-one percent of the subjects had performed
oral sex on their partners and 68% had experienced their partner
performing oral sex on them." (From the Journal of Sex Research, v.
19, p. 327, Nov. 1983. The interesting point here is that it
confirms what I have consistently seen, but which is contrary to
the conventional wisdom: cunnilingus is significantly more common
than fellatio, but both are normal parts of lovemaking for half the
youthful population of America today. For what it's worth, 100% of
my friends use oral sex as foreplay, most of them since the age of
13 or 14 at the latest.)

Mom's Friend didn't have a complete answer to the question of pre-
puberty sexual expression. Indeed, although she walked out on the
Children of God because Moses David's personal practices had become
increasingly pedophilic, I've been unable to discern any bright-
line test, and as there aren't any pre-puberty kids at her house
today, the question is a moot one. I'm not sure that the exposure
to overt sexual acts at Mom's Friend's House was, in reality, more
damaging than to the suggestive sex of MTV or the exposure to
pornography on the Internet and elsewhere; in fact I think the
latter is worse. In fact, though, most immature children have no
impulse, no wish, to imitate adult sex in any serious way. If a
girl or a boy came to ask the question "am I ready yet?" he or she
probably was; after all one didn't see pre-pubescent kids having
intercourse. It is busybody observers, quick to say "gotcha", who
seize upon incidents like the Raoul Wüthrich "touching" incident.

http://web.amnesty.org/library/index/ENGAMR511761999

A cursory Web search shows (anecdotally, so it doesn't mean
anything statistically) that lots of boys begin to masturbate by
the age of 7 or 8. It is said that "100% of boys masturbate by the
age of 15" and I suppose that's true, but it doesn't say much since
30% of those boys have had, or say they have had, sex with girls
too. I wrote of the incident where I observed a boy of 11
masturbating, and I finished the job for him. This was my first
real contact with a penis, and I thought at the time it was out of
curiosity. In reality, it was my own awaking sexuality at work. As
the boy ejaculated at least some semen, he was clearly "post-
puberty"; inasmuch as I had my first sex not so long after that,
nobody can deem the incident "abnormal" or, maybe, even
"precocious". The incident, with the bit of semen that landed on my
face, led almost directly to my later decision to try oral sex: I
was no longer afraid of semen. (Only later did I absorb from Mom's
Friend the concept of semen as medium of Holy Communion; at the
time I was being influence by the general free-sex theme of the
commune where we lived.)

I've alluded in earlier writing to even younger kids I'd seen in
sex play. I have to say that I never really paid attention to the
question of "at what age did boys first masturbate" (or girls, for
that matter). The adults studiously ignored the subject, and paid
no attention to a child's masturbation. This was in contrast to a
child's erection, which might get a compliment or two; certainly it
would rate the recognition of a smile. The rule was that if it
didn't hurt and if it was voluntary, then it was probably normal.
Mom's Friend's attitude towards masturbation was ambivalent. To her
mind, it wasn't so much the edict against "spilling seed upon the
ground", as to which I offer a brief digression from "The American
Reporter" for Feb. 3, 2004:

"In the first century of this era, it was thought that the semen
of the male contained a complete human being - just very tiny. An
entire person was there. The semen was to be deposited in the body
of a female. She contributed absolutely nothing whatsoever of her
own to this future human being. Her assignment was limited to
warehousing the little person for nine months until it was ready to
be born.

"Dorothy Parker named her canary Onan because "he spilt his seed
upon the ground." Onan's sin was double (and note that neither was
the masturbation associated with his name): 1) by withdrawing
prematurely, he failed to impregnate his widowed sister-in-law, as
his duty demanded, but, much worse, 2) by ejaculating on the
ground...he committed murder. (Genesis 38: 7-10).

"Any disposition of the male seed in a manner other than that
condoned by law and custom was homicide. Homosexuality was murder.

"Today, enlightened men and women see the matter differently."

http://www.american-reporter.com/2,281/269.html

Her view was that no body should have nocturnal emissions more
than once, or need to masturbate ever, once into puberty because
she managed the balance of girls and boys in her home and as
visitors so that everybody, except the most socially inept, should
have partners for real sex. Semen was holy: it should be shared,
and Onan's crime was pride and selfishness.

It was different for younger boys, who were pretty much left alone
to do what little boys do in imitation of bigger boys. As for
erections of small boys: they exist, but you just don't see a lot
of erect immature penises. Even the babies and boys who have them
probably don't place them in a sexual context. When a boy is on the
cusp of puberty, it may be different because hormones go to work
months before secondary sex characteristics appear. Furthermore, I
think it is common today and has been for years that many kids
engage in oral sex before they engage in vaginal sex; and as I have
frequently written, physical development is less important in that
than emotional development. However, given that it is those
hormonal changes that provide the impetus to sexual urges, it is
unsurprising that I don't know of kids engaging in oral sex before
puberty. I know that Mom's Friend would never have allowed a boy to
approach a young girl's vagina with the intent of inserting his
penis, large or small. If a girl had no pubic hair she was off
limits for that. Yet, the moment she had traces of breasts she
would know that she was suddenly an attraction, even if not yet "in
play". She would start to notice boys' penises, and to notice boys'
changed demeanor towards her. Sooner or later girlfriends would
talk of sex, and quickly thereafter half her conversations, if not
half her waking day, would be devoted to boys, and hence to sex and
penises and things tangentially related to them, like make-up and
clothes. And she would want to see and experience penises not from
a distance but close up. She would see a friend with a penis in her
mouth, enjoying herself terribly, savoring the semen when it came.
No doubt she would talk to her mom, and the rest would soon be
history. The nice thing about where we lived was that one's sex
life need not be -- indeed should not be -- private and secret, but
shared. It didn't matter if a girl chose to have sex once a day,
once a week, or hardly ever. The point was that she wasn't alone
and that her excitement and her joy could be multiplied by being
seen to have fun and being treated with respect by everyone, not
least by the boys living with us or visiting. If outside society
frowns on the "oversexed" (whatever that means) girl, the personal
autonomy that girls were afforded in our society meant that we
could set our own pace. Collective fervor was largely reserved for
our occasional dance parties. I've written about those parties a
lot, for example:

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38807

These were nude dances, dances of a kind that, I recently read in
the paper, go on all over America all the time: kids dancing naked
and having sex. (There are, to be sure, "nudist" dances where no
sex happens and erections are not allowed. But at ours and at those
others, a girl would have been disappointed to say the least, if
her partner did not sport a lovely erection for her, ready and
eager for sex.)

So: I don't know how long nude dancing has been mainstream, but
our dance parties a decade ago were little different from what I
have read about today. They were really exciting affairs, and were
always oversubscribed. Kids came by invitation, with their own
dates or (for girls) with a date arranged by us. They disrobed,
itself an exciting event: in disrobing there was both equalization
and sensualization. Kids, especially outsiders, might take a few
minutes to get accustomed to the nudity and it would be awhile
before conversation ceased to be stilted and artificial. Parents
who brought them, if they weren't "insiders", longtime friends of
Mom's Friend, would likely stare too, notwithstanding they had good
and sufficient reason for bringing their kids, and that reason was
for the kids to have sex. As far as I was concerned there was no
need to pretend we weren't nude, and no reason to ignore our
sexuality. Others, from outside, might have to get used to it, or
if they'd been there before, get used to it again. There was music,
stuff to eat and drink. It would take a while for the party to warm
up, especially if a few of the guests weren't used to household
nudity and free love. There was another point: one was limited, at
least for that evening, to the date you had come in with. That rule
was supposed to solve the problem of petty jealousies and
competition. I always did my best to anticipate that sort of
difficulty. Girls who weren't used to our way of life, we tried to
match with a boy we knew was not only sexually experienced but
psychologically savvy. (It is said, by the way, that all, or most
anyway, penises are created equal, but in fact there's a lot more
than meets the eye. In my childhood diaries I certain rated boys on
their ability to assure my orgasm before theirs, on their
courtliness and the way they recognized and appreciated my own
efforts, and my love for their semen.) The house had already quite
a bit of experience by the time I joined Older Girl in taking
charge of the arrangements, and there was an unwritten rule that
contact, slow dancing wouldn't start for the first hour or so, and
that nobody would have sex until after that had started. We found
that if we timed things well, and if we built up a certain
crescendo, many or most couples could and would have memorable sex
twice in the evening, their orgasms both times reinforced by the
sexual electricity all around, the erections and the ejaculations,
the breasts and vaginas, the scent of sex and love. That, as much
as anything, would be the measure of success of the party. Not
infrequently there would be a couple like the Big Breasted Girl and
her date who were friends of friends, but inexperienced in sex,
just curious. Almost always they got caught up in the spirit and we
would never know that our party had been the scene of a beautiful
defloration. The only way I could tell about the Big Breasted Girl
was because they stood around, staring at me and my date at sex,
and then fumbled a bit when they tried to get the boy's penis into
her vagina the first time.

Most girls seemed to like to tease their dates, to make them dance
close with a stiff erection for as long as possible. (Trouble would
only ensue if they tried to tease other girls' dates beyond
reasonable boundaries, and the other girls took them too
seriously.) If my date's penis had a drop of seminal fluid on it,
I'd put it to my lips, and hold him close and we'd kiss. As
organizer I felt I was on show and would probably tell the boy we'd
have to do mutual oral sex because I knew that would raise the
temperature in the room and it wouldn't be long before every girl
had a penis in her mouth. If I at all could, because it's harder to
accomplish from that position, after my partner ejaculated into my
mouth I would try to collect as much semen as possible onto my
tongue and coat the tip of his penis with it. Then when I would
draw the penis out of my mouth, so long as the semen's viscosity
was right, its quantity sufficient and if I'd correctly calculated
its trajectory and rate of flow, the head of the boy's penis would
be covered with a thick coat of lovely semen. It would look
terribly impressive to the others and I was sure it would make them
want sex too. Grasping the penis with my hand, I would kiss the tip
and suck the semen into my mouth to swallow. Nobody in the room
could doubt, seeing that, that we had made great love together, and
in due course it would do a lot for my popularity. The only trouble
was that the boy would usually get so caught up in his own orgasm
that mine would be lost; and of course he wouldn't be able to see
my little drama with his semen because his head would be buried in
my vagina. At that point I'd turn over on my back, spread my legs
apart and bend my knees and he would have to bring me to climax
that way.

I suppose in most parties there are hidden places to slink off to
for having sex. For us it would have been unthinkable to hide; half
the fun is seeing and being seen. Kids loved to show off their
pleasure; girls -- I at least -- loved to show off their ownership
and control of a their boy's penis, publicly stroking it and seeing
just how stiff and tense it could be kept, and for how long. And
wanting others to admire it ("look, but don't touch", although
sooner or later most of us got to taste most of the boys' penises,
and they our vaginas). And whatever hesitancy or reluctance a girl
had about taking semen into her mouth and liking and swallowing it,
being at a party where all other the girls find semen sensuous and
delicious, if not holy, would embolden her. Indeed, despite all
that Mom had taught me before, my swallowing semen the first time I
had oral sex still had taken a moment of reflection. And I really
did it because I'd seen all the other girls, Older Girl especially
because I respected her the most, having such fun. But most of all,
treating semen as a lovely reward for love. And having their
vaginas treated with reciprocal respect, love and eager desire, the
boy's tongue feeling its way deep into her vaginal canal to collect
its secretions. I think every boy knew what was expected of him
before he sought an invitation, and rather few guys would be
invited who hadn't lived with us with the specific exception of
course of our own dates and of guys who brought their sisters
along; we'd then arrange dates for the two of them. I'm not sure
where the custom of making room for guys and their sisters came
from; somebody must have thought it was cute. I was to run into
that, of course, when I visited Rev. Mary's, but there was a
different reason for it there. As I note below, a lot of mothers we
knew, in common with mothers and fathers generally, wanted their
boys to become sexually active in a safe environment, in the
belief, perhaps, that it would immunize them in becoming gay. That
sounds rather implausible to me, but we never came up with a better
explanation. Mom's Friend's rule had always been that families
commit themselves to our way of life completely, so it was both
brother and sister, or neither. There could be funny scenes when a
brother and sister had never seen each other naked before, much
less the girl with a mouth full of semen Why that should startle,
given that they were supposed to be sexually liberated and totally
forthcoming with their parents, I can't imagine. Unless they lied
to get invited to the party. Anyway, some of the sisters came back
time and time again, finding our party the life-changing experience
we hoped it would be. I always wondered if they perhaps had a
different appreciation of their brother after having seen his penis
making love to a girl, ejaculating what, in effect, was the girl's
DNA too. I write some more below about brothers and sisters sharing
the sight and passion of their making love in tandem. There is no
hint of incest involved; it's just a shared love of sex and delight
that each has found a suitable partner. I always found these scenes
touching, and it made me a bit sad that I don't have a brother to
confide in, a brother whose penis I can empathize with and whose
erection I can admire, a bit in the fashion of the mothers and sons
I wrote about. I think what I'm trying to say is that I cannot
imagine a family where all the members do not completely take
vicarious pleasure in the joy, especially the sexual joy, of the
other members. The sight of an erection is joy by anticipation,
just as the sight of drips of semen is joy by sympathetic
remembrance. As a girl, my orgasm would be that much diminished if
I could not share in my partner's ejaculation and be close to his
penis before and after; but his penis is not MY penis in the manner
that my father's or my brother's would be. It's because I babysat
for the two kids still at Mom's Friend's House, because I watched
that boy's penis grow from babyhood to adult size, that I take such
pleasure in seeing it wet with semen now. There is no hint of
incest here: in none of these cases is it a sexual pleasure I feel:
rather it is shared pride and happiness that someone close has had
the joy of ejaculating, and that his semen, being divine, has in
turn sanctified the vagina and body of his girl. Her own warm glow
reflects that, and for the moment, she too is family. The preceding
is, of course, largely theoretical: except for Mom I have no
family, and the two kids are the only ones whose aftermath of sex I
can approach in that fashion.

I have my own story to tell about an incident with a sister. It
would have been when I was around 15. A girl of about 17 showed up
with her younger brother, who must have been 14 or so, a little kid
still. She had apparently lived for a while at Mom's Friend's
house; mothers often came there with small kids either because they
were temporarily homeless for some reason or because they needed a
place of refuge, and as long as they were comfortable with the
nudity and the goings on, they were welcome. Anyway, they didn't
stay for more than a few weeks or a couple of months, but the girl,
who was maybe 6 or 7 at the time, obviously was marked in some way
by what she'd seen. They were living miles away, and now she'd
gotten her driving license and figured out that her brother was
sexually mature, she'd driven over to attend one of our parties.
Except it had been canceled, or more exactly that particular party
had never got beyond the planning stage and there were only a few
of us at home. We weren't about to send her back home at night, and
anyway her kid brother looked eager. It was chilly out then, and
there was a video playing in the rec room, so I invited them
downstairs.

I was, as readers of my earlier essays will know, observant enough
of pubescent boys to know that this kid's shyness was born of
inexperience and anxiety. The basement was a place of general
nudity and the kid was going to have to get undressed. His sister
and I took our clothes off with dispatch, and this seemed to make
the kid more nervous than ever. I supposed he might not have seen
his sister nude before; I deduced that from the way he stared at
her breasts -- smallish, but with very large nipples -- and then
over at mine, without making any move to undress himself. I asked
him whether he wasn't going to join us, but he just stood there, so
I loosened his belt, undid his zipper, pulled down his jeans and
pulled him to the floor so he could take off his trainers and socks
and get his jeans off the rest of the way. His sister, meanwhile,
pulled off his T-shirt. He stood up now, with only his briefs on,
and now I could see the outline of his penis. I wanted to see more
so I pulled them down to the floor. His penis seemed
disproportionately large for his body; still, it made no sign of
arousal so I thought we'd just watch the film for a while and let
nature take its course. As a philosophical, if not theological,
matter, we always wanted to dispel ignorance and promote healthy,
intellectual and holy sexuality (as Mom's Friend put it sometimes)
so I appropriated for the sister one of the boys who was in a sort
of mating dance with a bunch of girls and boys working out their
respective partners for the evening. I can't recall the film that
was running, and it doesn't really matter anyway except that there
was enough sensuousness, enough sexual activity, in it to remind us
of why we were there.

Dear Reader, you will have to concede that there is something
terribly touching about seeing a young boy and a young girl
awakening sexually, experimenting sexually, satisfying each other,
producing and enjoying semen You may or may not accept my argument
about sexuality and holiness, about transfer of semen and holy
communion. But if you at take into consideration my religious and
sexual backgrounds and the how the two were inter-related, you will
understand why I felt like a missionary in those years from 13 to
15 or so, and why it was so nice to take an "innocent" boy and to
show him the pleasure he could have and the obligations that go
with it. I was recently in the Getty Museum in Los Angeles (a
pilgrimage everyone should make) and I had to linger over one
particular painting that depicted --every so subtly and yet
brightly -- a girl as the beauty of romance and sex first occurred
to her. That picture could have been of me, at 11 or 12 years of age.

Well, the sister I have been writing about felt, as I did and do,
that no boy should get beyond 14 without having sex; and although
her sexuality didn't have the religious background of ours and her
acceptance of the concept of "transfer of semen as holy communion"
was probably a matter of expedience and convenience rather than
religious commitment, she was perfectly welcome. What would be
unacceptable for an unattached boy was quite satisfactory for a
girl, and any brother or other boy she happened to bring along. The
lesson I take from the anecdote, in fact, is that even a brief
observation by small children of well-regulated and well-adjusted
adolescent sex has positive results later on. And that early sexual
exchanges and the acquisition of practical knowledge in a loving
environment leads to better choices of mates subsequently and,
indeed, not only sexual but emotional and relational maturity and
to long-term family stability. It is, after all, undeniably true
that the most sexually-driven period of life is the teen-age years
and I believe, as we were taught, that suppressing our sexual needs
at that time causes long-term psychological and social damage. It
is also true that our bodies are at their most beautiful then, and
if a girl is to come to terms with boys' penises and her own sexual
needs, it is when the penis is at its most gorgeous, growing state
that she should do this. But even more importantly, boys need to
see the beauty in girls' vaginas and be eager to kiss and love
them, and to know the physiology of the clitoris, and so on.

I have written how mothers have a mystical attachment to their
son's penises, a psychological relationship that, in contrast,
fathers can never have with their daughter's bodies (that latter
relationship is inevitably more threatening or protective, as the
case may be, and I think Rev. Mary is justified in keeping fathers
at bay during their daughters' deflorations). Indeed girls and
women all love to see a boy's penis in a non-aggressive situation;
and most girls and women -- even post-menopausal women --seemed
turned on by watching a boy's penis become aroused and erect. But
the loveliest sight is to watch a girl make love to that penis: to
watch a girl want and love it and take it in her mouth not out of
any obligation but out of desire. The sister's eyes were only half
on the movie, it seems; the rest of the time they were on her
brother's penis and watching his response to my own body language.
Eventually he did what boys do, and started exploring my breasts
and when things seemed to be going no further I moved down between
his legs and, after a slight resistance on his part, managed to
take charge of his penis and I put in my mouth. I watched his eyes.
It didn't take him long to appreciate the sensation, and after
moving him to the edge of the chair so his balls were free and I
could hold them with one hand while directing his penis into my
mouth with the other, I worked on the corona and the tip with my
tongue and lips and at last he had his erection. I kept on for a
while, but I didn't want him to ejaculate without bringing me to
orgasm, Anyway, that was kind of a rule of the house, a house that
was directed by women and run to female, if not feminist, norms. We
changed places, but either out of shyness, or more likely out of
ignorance and apprehension, he would not start licking and sucking
my vagina. I said something to his sister and her date, and they
got the point: the sister pulled up her legs and held them apart,
exposing her pink vagina and the boy put his mouth to it and gently
stroked her clitoris with his tongue, pushed his tongue as far as
it would go into her vagina, ran it all over her soft parts, sucked
and licked everything and kept on gently embracing, kissing and
romancing her sex parts until her breathing became labored and her
voice excited and she shouted out. He rose, and his penis was
engorged and tense and stiff and waving about. We were all eager to
see it inside her; indeed, the brother's eyes seemed about to pop
from their sockets. Then the penis was inside his sister and she
was moaning with apparent delight. We could see everything in the
subdued light: the repeated movement of the penis against the sides
of the vagina and the girl's vulva and the boy was obviously
enjoying the sight of it too, as well as the opportunity to see all
of his date's body, her breasts moving about, her arms flailing.
Then he came; his pace changed, his penis was wetter and sticker
and as it came out of his girl, there were drips of semen.

The brother continued to stare, and I pulled him down and pulled
his face to my vagina, and had him do likewise. It took him a while
to get used to the sensation, the smell, the taste; but he knew his
reward. His penis was stiff again, so it was obvious that he had
crossed the border into mature sexuality. A few times I reminded
him where my clitoris is, and when on I was at climax I pulled him
up, and his penis was inside me and he was doing with me what the
other boy had done with his sister. Now, however, it was his
sister's turn to watch, and I thought, again, that she seemed
proud. And aroused again, by the time her brother had ejaculated
for the first time inside a girl that she took her own date's penis
into her mouth, and she worked on it, expertly, sensuously, until
he ejaculated and she could show us his semen and taste and swallow
it. Later on I would do the same to her brother because I really
did admire his penis and I wanted to fondle his balls some more. I
made sure the sister could see her brother's semen --their shared
DNA (as I put it earlier) on my tongue. And I leaned back and
admired the boy's very adult penis, his cute hairless balls,
attached to his boy-size body. I happen to think that the incident
proves, to the extent it is provable, that the young pubescent boy
who is guided to early sex by loving girls and women makes a better
lifelong lover than one who responds to peer pressure and "advice"
from other boys, a brother or a father.

The brother and sister spent the night; by the next day, Saturday,
the brother was as confident as boys tend to be after they have had
good first sex, especially when they have seen that the female
partner has genuinely enjoyed the experience and wants more. He was
certainly no longer shy in front of his sister, and she sort of
shared in his triumph. While I went out to the mall, the sister
rounded up two new partners, a 13-year-old girl over for the day
for him, and some boy for her. He could have been the girl's
brother but he probably wasn't. More often than not, brother-sister
pairs came with older, not younger, girls. And invariably, as I
have said, the girl would be fascinated with her brother's penis,
eager to see it active and happy. And indeed aroused by its
activity. This is no different from the situation of mothers at
defloration parties and while the concept may be counterintuitive,
the observation has been repeated enough times for me to know that
it is normal. There is, in all honesty, no value in virginity: the
point is to encourage safe and romantic sex as soon as a pubescent
or adolescent child can appreciate it. Later on, sex will become
part of the mating game and confused with mutual obligations and
demands and potential marriage. By that time, it is, for many girls
and boys, too late to adopt oral sex as normal foreplay, and to
love and appreciate it for its own sake And since so many women can
reach climax no other way, marriage and sex are bound to fail.
Anyway, there is no reason for a boy to be shy or for a mother or a
sister to be embarrassed in the presence of the boy's erection, or,
indeed, his ejaculation: this is, or should be, a natural source of
universal pride in God's holy plan, and in happiness over
humanity's ultimate pleasure. It's a pity, in fact, that society
and so many religions impose false modesty and imply sin and guilt
to arousal and orgasm, to erection and ejaculation. It is hardly
necessary to state the obvious, even if it is obvious only because
of its repetition in crude jokes: farm kids know about sex and
about sexual pleasure, and at least have the potential to be, to
the extent that they are free from religion other than the COG
kind, uninhibited and realistic in matters of relationships and
sex. And of course there are the kids from Mom's Friend's House who
have grown up in a progressive environment and profited from it, as
far as I can see, having the best opportunity for sexually
satisfying lives and the knowledge to make good and mature choices
in matters of relationships. How much more normal it is for boys
and girls, like the 12-Year-Olds at Mom's Friend's House that day,
to show off their appreciation of each other's bodies, to show off
the boy's erection, their pleasure together, and the boy's sticky
wet penis after their lovemaking. I start from the premise that
there is nothing more beautiful than a boy and girl in lovemaking,
and that the sex parts of a boy and girl are inherently beautiful
and a penis and vagina covered in -- or for that matter a mouth
filled with -- semen is inherently joyous. At any age from puberty
on. As I write this, I envisage a stiff penis, its head covered in
semen, the girl (me, perhaps) admiring it, then popping it into her
mouth!

The 13-year-old looked older than she was. Like many girls,
including myself, she loved to partner, mentor one might say, new
boys -- to take an apprehensive penis and bring it to life. The boy
was still too shy to undress without prompting; the girl undressed
first herself and then him. Neither the sister nor I could take our
eyes off the brother's penis when the girl took it into her mouth,
and as she slid it in and out, occasionally removing it to stiffen
some more, and so she could kiss it and suck imaginary droplets
from its tip. We urgently wanted to see some accidental drips of
semen flow from her mouth to tell us the boy had ejaculated, but
she kept her mouth so tightly against the penis that we didn't know
he had come until she showed us all the semen collected on her
tongue. With us there watching, the brother now had to reciprocate,
repeating to her what he had learned with me the day before and
bringing his date to climax by kissing and rubbing with his tongue
her clitoris. He would stare from time to time at her gaping vagina
and, happily, his penis was stiff enough so that at the last
minute, at the girl's climax, he could put it inside her and the
two of them could make love with mouths joined and penis in vagina.
The sister watched, and beamed with satisfaction. It seemed to me
that the relationship that had been built between them over the
previous day would insure that, for the rest of his life, the
brother would be an unselfish, caring sex partner. Not only did he
have a lovely penis, but he had a lovely shy smile that girls would
adore.

Note that I do not for a moment deny an individual's or a couple's
right to privacy if that is what they want. My point is that most
kids are delighted to show off their experiments in sex, their
orgasms. I argue that modesty and shame are learned responses, not
natural impulses. It is natural to see -- to want to see -- naked
people, and it is natural for couples to bring each other to
arousal and to orgasm with friends about. If sensuality is holy,
then its holy communion ought not be secret or shameful. It is,
after all, patently obvious, even if hypocritically condemned and
therefore unavailable to most people, that making love in the
presence of others similarly engaged magnifies the event and its
pleasure. Much impotence comes from anxiety, and the sharing of the
event and the mutuality of arousal disposes of it. That seems to be
true, at least, of adolescent impotence. It is also true that girls
are excited by the sight of romantic sex: as we found in our nude
dances, a sexy atmosphere builds on itself and creates a mutuality
of ecstasy. The sight of a few erections and the girls who welcomed
them, fondling, kissing, loving, would spread a sexual tension
throughout the room. A couple, perhaps the Big Breasted Girl and
her date, might come out of curiosity; but romance is contagious
and, in the end, irresistible.

Getting back to our unexpected brother and sister visitors, I
supposed that their mother knew where they were and the purpose of
their visit. A mother did not bring her family to Mom's Friend's
House if she didn't share a positive view of youthful sex. This, of
course, explains why mothers were happy for their daughters to have
a defloration party; those who don't understand are simply
unfamiliar either with the Children of God (which certainly never
had such parties but which did encourage kids' sexual activity in
front of parents and, it is said, sometimes with their involvement)
and the 60s commune movement (which probably didn't either, but
which would have understood the concept). Bear in mind, however,
that my observations are anecdotal and unscientific. Perhaps,
indeed likely, I was not paying attention. Arguably the matter
failed to arise because of Mom's Friend's rules about equality of
age and equality of consent: essentially, the girl was in control
and, by and large, only the girl could take the initiative in
matters of sex: she was ready, willing and able, or she was not: a
boy did not need to voice his question or his desire; he could
glance at her and know. After all, she was probably nude, and in
nudity subtle signs may be seen that may be hidden under clothing --
just as there is no hiding a boy's erection in the nude. And while
adults, especially older adults, might be somewhat more discreet in
the matter than young people, there was little point in their
trying to conceal their own concupiscence and intercourse. What
they were doing was of little concern to us as kids other than to
take comfort in the normality of penis in mouth, of tongue in
vagina, of a couple finding delight in a communion sanctified by God.

I do not deny that sometimes a clothed body can be sexier than an
unclothed one. While I still have trouble accepting what an Arab
boy once told me: that a woman in a hijab or a haik can be sexy,
sometimes what one can't see -- in a scantily-clad person -- is
sexier than what one can, that imagination is an important part of
arousal. Indeed, I love nothing more than to take down a boy's
underpants and see his penis suddenly spring to life. It's even
nicer when other girls, friends of mine, are sitting around
casually watching us. And for my boy to disrobe me and admire what
was previously hidden is, of course, sexy too. The question then is
over who will take the initiative in embrace and, in due course,
oral sex. I have learned not to be coy about oral sex; before any
boy gets me undressed I will have established his willingness,
eagerness, to have his tongue explore my vagina.

I've said this before, and I've said also that spiritual and
sexual lives were female-driven: guided by our mothers and by our
older peers. This was important: to assure the girls' welfare, the
boys' attentiveness to girls' sexual needs and wants -- and, above
all, the health discipline needed to protect us from STDs. Boys had
to be sponsored, by a mother, a sister, a girl companion. This had
theological and practical significance: mothers looked after our
safety and health, and not least, they looked after our orgasms. If
orgasm is the proof of God's presence, part and parcel of the
exchange of fluids that is true Holy Communion, then it is a girl's
right. We admired, respected, loved the penis of a lovely boy, and
we wanted that penis to be erect and close and cuddly. In return,
as we were taught, we should make love to it, and celebrate joy and
fecundity and holiness with ejaculation, with semen that we could
and should touch and feel and taste. But for us, following whatever
the COG had to say (which is either muddled or unrecorded), Mom's
Friend went further. She may have laughed and hummed the 1956 Nat
King Cole song, "They Tried to Tell Us We're Too Young", but she
really encouraged us to prepare ourselves for a long life of
frequent and sex. And she argued that our first experience of sex
would be our most important: she wanted to guarantee every girl in
her charge a "proper orgasm" at her first coitus, whenever that
might occur. While Mom's Friend denies that she truly encouraged
early sex (she insists that she prohibited coercion and protected
her girls), the fact is that peer pressure, common nudity, parental
approval and an environment of free love brought ambition, desire
and, inevitably for most girls and boys, sex as soon as puberty
arrived, and almost certainly by the time puberty had finished.

Mom's Friend's House is and was certainly not unique. Mom's
Friend's philosophy (and my Mom's) came from her years in the
Children of God, where children's sexuality was recognized, sexual
pleasure was holy, and young women were sent out as missionaries
"flirty fishing", spreading the Gospel -- proselytizing -- by
having sex with men from outside the sect. The philosophy at the
first house I lived in with Mom didn't have such discipline or
doctrine as Mom's Friend afforded: it was fundamentally a carryover
from the 1960s commune era and instead of Mom's Friend's controlled
nudism there was general nudity and an encouragement and
expectation of early sexual activity. Mom's Friend recognizes the
end of virginity at least in the sense of disparaging it as a
barrier to life and love, and offering a party for girls who want
one, and who want to assure themselves an orgasm: indeed a
choreographed first sexual experience. Mom's Friend and others like-
thinking women promote a theory that for girls, orgasm at first sex
by means of cunnilingus prior to first penetration, assures a happy
and positive sex life later. They argue that, with safety and
health issues assured by a closed community, allowing early
sexuality to lead to early sex -- especially early oral sex -- at a
time when sex and relationships are not confused with finding a
life partner and economic issues allows the development of a
healthy sexual appetite and sexual habits. Above all, they argue
that because sex is the manifestation of God's life order, orgasm a
divine message and semen the medium of Holy Communion, religion,
misogyny and law have no business interfering in its function. In
the outside world, "child protection" becomes "child suppression"
and the inability of society and parents to enforce hypocritical
rules means that many or most children have sex anyway, but on the
wrong terms, in the wrong way, and with risk of infection, coercion
and other harms. Given a structure, with peer or maternal
supervision, girls (because I am mainly concerned with girls) learn
how to maximize sensuality, pleasure and romance.

In my earlier description of a visit to Rev. Mary's church, in
which sex is, 60s-like, a major focus of worship and moral
existence, I showed how peer management was used to try to avoid
"child protection" laws. Both she and Mom's Friend recognize that
total honesty and openness between a boy or a girl and his or her
mother is essential; they go from there to point out, correctly,
that under that circumstance the parents are best able to guide
their child and to determine when she or he is ready for sex. Sex
by accident, as I encountered it, devalues it; a planned and
choreographed encounter, while initially horrific to outsiders, in
fact seems to me to work as the best possible "graduation ceremony"
to sex education. Whether you, dear reader, have encountered this
or not, I can tell you that while institutional and structured
communities like Rev. Mary's and Mom's Friend's are unusual, micro-
management by mothers of their daughters' sex lives exists
everywhere in America. Just as for millennia adolescents were
brought together for arranged marriages by their parents, today it
is done for sex. Mom's Friend, by offering to any girl who wanted
it (and not too many did) a little ceremony with parents and
friends there, simply got rid of the hypocrisy and made the event a
beautiful celebration of orgasm. The proof, if proof be needed, is
that only a tiny minority of girls experience orgasm at first
intercourse. At Mom's Friend's house, as at Rev. Mary's, almost
every girl did. I hope to write more about subcultures and
communities I have encountered where likeminded parents have
combined in recognition and encouragement of their pubescent and
adolescent children's sexuality. Following my meeting with Rev.
Mary, I've been introduced to others who believe, like her and like
Mom's Friend, that spontaneous sexual expression among peers with
physical and emotional capacity is perfectly natural, and that
shame, modesty and inhibition are the only sins. It follows that
that a teenager's first sex experiences should be neither hidden
nor unrecognized, and that oral sex should be positively encouraged
as a means towards lifetime fulfilment, not to ignore a factor in
eventual marital stability.

Of course, to conceive of a public defloration as beautiful one
must first banish the common Western notion of the "ugliness" of
penis and vagina. When I grew up, I found it astounding that there
were people who didn't think penises and vaginas were the most
beautiful things on earth, mirrors of boys' and girls' spiritual
beauty, not to mention their physical attractiveness. The "cloaca
syndrome" [reflecting supposedly "disgusting" source of birds'
eggs] imposed on girls a notion of shame in relation to their sex.
At our often-crowded house, for example, no girl needed to
monopolize precious bathroom time to examine her vagina. To
suppose, as society does. that an erect penis and a dilated vagina
are ipso facto pornographic defies reason and reality. (They also
haven't seen the Washington Monument lately.) I have frequently
pointed out the truism that pornography arouses many men, but that
girls are aroused by romance. This is true of images, which is why
the criminalization of child pornography, while badly and often
unjustly executed, has no impact on the communities I write about.
Proximity to a pair of lovers going through the cycle of mutual
recognition, embrace, arousal, foreplay, penetration, orgasm and
ejaculation is entirely different: it is romance in a nutshell. If
in fact, many or most of the girls and boys of our circle had their
first vaginal sex at a nude dance party, that is the reason.

I wrote about the Big Breasted Girl, and I mention her and her
partner several times below: they came to the party perhaps
undecided, but having seen me and others making love, sex became
irresistible for them. And for us, the boy's grand penis making its
way for the first time into the girl's vagina was a celebration of
everything that is good -- not only with our way of life but with
life generally. We envied that girl and boy, for we all knew that
the most delicious sensation for girl or boy is the entry of his
penis into her vagina at the beginning of sex. That first stroke
brings the promise of mounting excitement and a crescendo of
ecstasy and ejaculation, followed by postcoital calm. Can anyone
seriously suggest that the sight of that girl's (or any girl's)
exposed vagina and her boy's loving penis hovering over it was
anything but beautiful? Who, being there, was not eager to see that
penis lower itself into the vagina? I thought of her hymen only
because she had said something that led me to know she hadn't had
sex before. All the better, then, that this lovely, exciting penis
should make its way past and free her forever to love. I felt,
thought I heard, a collective sigh when, after I helped guide it,
the boy's penis slid all the way into her vagina, his balls
slapping against her body.

In that case as always, the proof (as Mom's Friend and I would
say) is in the bodily fluids: the semen that streams unseen from
penis into girl validates her lovemaking. Minutes later, the Big
Breasted Girl, dazed by her own lovemaking, playfully touched her
finger to the semen and to her, and her boy's, lips. The Internet
is full of web pages that debate whether semen tastes good and
whether it should be swallowed. Those pages start from the wrong
premise: a girl who is raised to love her body and to love boys, to
love and respect penis and vagina and to know their capacities, to
see sex and semen as divine inventions, will accept ab initio as
Holy Communion, respect, love and want it as the carrier not just
of DNA but of love --God's love and her lover's. Sex, ultimately,
is the meaning and purpose of life. The invention of oral
contraceptives was the greatest gift of God to liberate women, and
it validated the new religious belief of the 1960s, exemplified
both by the prophet Moses David (David Berg) and by his sometime
follower, Mom's Friend. In short, Moses David, Mom's Friend, Rev.
Mary and I draw the opposite conclusion from the social engineers
and mainstream religious dogmatists regarding the proposition that
"a girl should have respect for her body and keep it holy". To
admire, to want, to love a penis without wanting a lifetime
partnership with its owner violated the original dogma. In the face
of female liberation and the pressure of commercial interests, the
Establishment would now like to exploit child sexuality without
allowing even mature minors to be seen as sexual beings with
personal autonomy. That hypocrisy has proved a disaster for society
in general, promoting frustration, educational failure, drugs and
crime. Mom's Friend's ethic is not a solution for all or most, or
even, perhaps many. But it must be an option for some.

I have spent several pages summarizing the relevant philosophy
underlying my sexuality and my past because I think, from
correspondence, that it may have been misunderstood. My essays
contain graphic descriptions of sex for several reasons: they
illustrate the philosophy I am trying to adumbrate; they prove the
point of beauty being tied to pleasure, romance and holiness; and,
not least, they make my essays personal, readable and interesting.
I think my own experience at the first house where we lived
provides support for Mom's Friend's theories. There were no fancy
deflorations to celebrate a girl's coming of age; kids were nude
anyplace that suited them and tended to have more indiscriminate
sex. I wound up having sex for the first time by accident, in a
tumble on the floor. Later, I made a little celebration of my own
of oral sex with a boy. I had picked him at random, basically
because I thought his 12-year-old penis was sweet. We went over to
a quiet area, the two of us naked. My friends, my "extended family"
were scattered about. Mom was at work. I was nervous. The boy
smiled shyly and sat in a chair; I kneeled in front of him, looked
closely at his limp penis; picked it up, felt all around it,
remembering the time I had masturbated a boy and made him
ejaculate, and how startling it was to see the semen jump out.

Now, the boy's penis was in my mouth and I felt proud and terribly
important. The penis was getting bigger and stiffer and I was
learning how to handle it with my tongue, and to press my lips
against it, and I remembered how important it was to keep in
contact with the head of the penis, always moving, as others had
told me, at a constant speed and looking in my boy's eyes for
guidance. He would move his body a bit and hint at what I should do
to make it feel better for him; his hips moved sympathetically with
my head. When his semen poured into me, it felt grand, and warm and
viscous. I had to think about it to decide if I wanted to swallow,
and I opened my mouth briefly so others could see, and then I
swallowed and was glad that I did. I saw the boy, yet more
sheepish; he rose and embraced me, sat me down in his place. He
pulled my legs wide apart pressed my labia apart, and told me how
lovely I was inside. His tongue was inside me, then it was
embracing my clitoris and licking desperately all over trying to
please. I helped him out by pointing, and told him to slow down. It
seemed to take forever. I shrieked with my first real orgasm and I
wouldn't let my boy go away to wash just yet, I wanted to hold him
and embrace him and kiss him; and when his penis was erect again I
wanted it inside me, however briefly. And I wanted others to see
his penis, and my drippy vagina. (Girls complain about "the curse"
of drippy vaginas, but right from the beginning I have loved them
and loved to show them off. And, as I later came to understand, if
the semen is holy it is lovely worthy of respect. On that occasion,
anyway, my vagina wasn't drippy: the boy didn't ejaculate enough
semen for that.)

Later, everyone would know what we had accomplished. Other boys
would hover about me: I was "in play" and I could choose my
partner. I looked at faces and penises; I smiled and felt so happy
and so important; and I was not quite 12, with little breasts but,
they said, a happy, sexy smile. But that was the first house. I
would spend my 13th year mostly on the houseboat with Mom, and it
was after that stay on the houseboat that we moved to Mom's
Friend's House. By then I'd had a year of meeting boys on my own,
seducing and being seduced.

A boy must learn from his earliest years, Mom's Friend said, that
he has an obligation, a duty, to bring his girl to orgasm; that his
entitlement depends on hers. If he wants to spend all his life
masturbating that is his prerogative, but if he would rather share
his penis with a lovely girl then there are rules to live and to
love by. This was the point of the "defloration parties" which, as
I said, were infrequent but lovely: arranged by the mothers of a
girl and a boy at any (same) age past puberty, perhaps with a
couple of the kids' friends there for support. I haven't written
much about how boys were chosen: as readers will have noted from
the story about Rev. Mary's attribution of responsibility to the
girls' peers, with no other boys and only the girl's mother
attending, these were really girl-centered events. The mingling of
blood and semen was raised, in Rev. Mary's theology, to particular
holiness; but she knew that society, American society in
particular, did not agree. She kept the hypocrites at bay by
keeping the event private and by keeping adults other than the
girl's mother away. Rev. Mary runs an established church, of
course, while Mom's Friend, a lapsed Children of God member, was
philosophically religious but unchurched. Unlike Rev. Mary's
disciples, we didn't have a Sunday school and an established moral
and sexual curriculum, although I think our training was much the
same. None of us would have hesitated to flirt, to undress, to make
love in front of a parent. Once it is accepted that an erection is
the work and the presence of God and that sex is holy, the rest is
natural. What is cuter than a young boy with an outsized erection,
and a young girl responding to it and kissing it, taking it into
her mouth to enjoy and to pleasure? For kids to undress each other,
to cuddle and to make love in front of family and friends is
neither exhibitionism nor voyeurism. The proof of this is in what I
saw at Rev. Mary's own house:

"I spent the afternoon and evening at home with Rev. Mary. There
were several callers, and then in the evening we watched TV with
her daughter. We expected some friends over for a light supper: two
divorced fathers, one of whom brought over his 'weekend son', who
was a friend of Rev. Mary's daughter, one of many boyfriends I am
sure. We were watching a film and I didn't notice until they were
half undressed that the two teens were having sex fun together. She
was on his lap, topless, and he was sitting in his underpants. His
hands were first over her breasts and then tickling her vagina;
then the couple were kissing, then her hands were under his
waistband stroking his penis and making it erect. None of the
adults paid much heed at first, and in a way it reminded me of
Mom's Friend's house, except that few girls except me violated the
protocol by having sex, i.e., oral sex, in the TV room instead of
going downstairs or outdoors with their partner. Anyway, their
lovemaking confirmed the point I have been making: the default
practice was for the boy to offer the girl oral sex, and by now
Rev. Mary's daughter was completely nude on one of the sofas, and
her boy was kneeling in front of her with his mouth over her vagina
and she was first giggling and bouncing about, her breasts jiggling
in unison in a funny but lovely sort of dance, and then she was
calmer as if realizing a need for concentration to achieve climax.
A moment after that she was faraway-ecstatic, as orgasm approached
from the distance; then as joy consumed her one saw her breasts
heave and her eyes roll as that joy consumed her body and made her
very, very happy.

"The boy dropped his underpants to the floor and stripped off his
T-shirt. Now he was leaning over her, his hands on the back of the
sofa, his penis sticking out, his balls hanging below, his demeanor
anxious and begging. The tip of his penis glistened. He panted.
Rev. Mary's daughter teased her boy only for brief seconds. I
thought her more vibrant than ever in her joy and just as at the
Friday initiations one longed to see the hovering penis enter the
open vagina, here again kissing and licking had made the girl's
vagina so very ready and eager that it rather hurt me to see the
boy's penis still outside. Anyway, in a lot less time than it has
taken me to describe the event, the girl grasped her boy's penis in
two hands and brought it to her vaginal opening and she, her
mother, the boy's father, the other man and I watched it enter and
then we watched her face. In her demeanor we could see, insofar as
anyone can, the meaning of life. She was performing the greatest
act that two people can perform, creating joy out of energy and
friction. We saw too the face of love and as his penis entered and
exited she moved, and her breasts moved, and we smiled.

"I have left this rather exorbitant description of what was really
a brief event -- oral vaginal sex followed by penis in vagina --
because it really was a remarkable sexual encounter. Also, the
positions of the two lovers was such that even in the semi-darkness
we could see everything that went on, as indeed we were intended
to. To watch the exit of a penis from a girl's vagina inevitably
gives rise to regret: one wants to see it go back in, and quickly.
Love is the joinder of two bodies and souls, not their separation.
The joy is in the down-stroke, and the up-stroke is the tease for
the sexual sensation that the next down-stroke will bring. At one
point it seemed that his penis might come out too far: to see the
head of the penis is lovely, but for it to come out of the vagina
completely and for the boy and girl to lose cadence interrupts the
rush to orgasm and interrupts our vicarious pleasure. The boy's
father was watching too, and I felt his arm around me as Rev.
Mary's daughter moved her hands downward to catch the penis and
guide it home. And then we saw, in the flickering light of the TV
and a couple of table lamps a change in the boy's posture. He
ejaculated, the girl moved her hands away, there was a slurping
noise, a dripping of semen, and the delightful vision was over. The
two kids collapsed in a heap and they stayed that way for ages. We
adults could only look at each other and marvel."

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/45030

Rev. Mary's daughter was living out her mother's theology. The
position they chose for their sex, the girl leaning back with her
legs raised and the boy standing or leaning, in such a way a his
penis and his trajectory was visible to both of them and to all of
us, was a matter of pride and sharing I had seen Rev. Mary's
daughter preside, earlier, in such a caring way at a defloration.
And I saw her now as she carried herself moments later, proud of
herself and of her sex, erect and sensual, with a boy's semen
invisibly inside her. As adults, we learn to be more discreet,
perhaps. But why should kids be bound by our discretion when they
are not bound by our cares and concerns, when they are in a
learning phase? Indeed, having sex openly allows for parental
guidance. The fact of "free sex" did not, in our philosophy, mean
there were no "crimes against nature". Oral sex is, after all,
intended as foreplay, as a precursor to vaginal sex, to mutual
orgasm and to fecundity.

That was what I was taught as a child, and it's what I believe
today. But whether you regard sex as prayer and communion, or as
fulfillment of divine command and achievement of ultimate pleasure,
really makes no difference. As a point of parenting, giving a child
pride in her (or his) body, and making her ready for puberty, is
the important thing. I loved it when boys fondled my breasts in
view of Mom because I wanted her to see that boys loved my body. I
loved it when a boy had an erection for me and Mom could see it and
smile at it in recognition of my sensuality. That, and all the rest
-- the penis entering me, the penis wet with semen, the pleasure
without shame or embarrassment -- it is what I would want for my
own offspring. I would be glad to see, to share, their joy. I would
want enough honesty between us so that my eventual son or daughter
would be happy to stand before me, as those young kids did in Mom's
Friend's backyard, penis still stiffly erect, both penis and vagina
dripping and sticky, seeking and getting approval. This would
validate my childhood and my parenting. Dear Reader, imagine your
own pubescent daughter or son happily showing off new sexual
knowledge to you, the boy with a smile and an erection, the girl
with the glow of arousal and orgasm.

How opposite the blatant hypocrisy over Janet Jackson's nipple and
the repellant, regressive and oppressive mainstream religions. Of
course, as an adult I no longer need to refer, or defer, to Mom for
approval. Thus, if I am in a group of couples, collectively aroused
and eager for sex, there is no reason not to go through the cycle
of arousal, foreplay, penetration, etc., each couple benefiting
from the collective sexual electricity. That's what our nude dances
were all about, it's what happened in the college shower room and
it's what happened at that party I went to in the Capital City. If
I have sex in the backyard today, I'm quite happy for Mom, and for
anyone else, to see me at my happiest. But I am not looking for
approval from anyone, not anymore. I might add that none of the
above helps the person who, by reason of personality, cannot find a
partner. Socially inept kids did not stay long with us. On the
other hand, if the supposed "ineptitude" was a matter only of self-
doubt or fear of, say, impotence or sexual unattractiveness, we
probably had the solution because the assurance of orgasm, the
normalization of oral sex, and the our attribution of a religious
meaning to sex were enabling factors. At one level, fear of
impotence, the fact that a boy could wander about freely with an
erection, and our girls' knowledge of boy physiognomy and
psychology and our use of oral sex as foreplay minimized the sexual
challenge for the shy boy. If he was cute and nice, and if his
penis was attractive (and I ask, what circumcised penis is not
attractive or, more correctly, how often does one see a misshapen,
non-functional penis?), he would have many sex partners.

I note that when I visit Mom now, the two kids there, teenagers,
always contrive to be in my presence, the boy with a big erection
and the girl sheepishly grinning. That, as I note below, is normal
behavior for kids raised the way they were. It was I who (with the
16-Year-Old Boy) taught them about sex, showed them, when they were
toddlers, the inside of my vagina and the purpose of the clitoris.
And showed them how a penis is made to ejaculate semen, and what it
looks like, and where it goes. So, without saying so, when the kids
-- who are one of the rare couples that started as adolescent
lovers in our community and stayed together for years --confront me
nude and tumescent, I know it is by way of recognition. They don't
needmy approval -- they already had that. They are acknowledging a
debt, so to speak. They know, because they have heard me say it,
that I was so touched when after the first time they showed
themselves to me copying, indeed improving on, my soixante-neuf
style, they ran over to Mom and me with penis still high in the air
and sticky after, at age 12, they'd performed for us in mutual oral
sex and then, after a gymnastic flip, vaginal sex. Now still, they
want me to be happy for them, and I am. In another year or two,
they will be more subtle and mature. Society would want to wait for
legal maturity to start sex; biology argues otherwise. Actually,
they are legal already in some jurisdictions.

I have digressed. To return to my account of my "celebration of
oral sex" that day, twelve or more years ago, when a 12-year-old
boy sat in a chair with his penis in my mouth, the reader will have
noted that he did not get an erection right away, although that
didn't really matter. It was fine with me that his penis was still
soft in my mouth for several minutes. I could squeeze it with my
tongue and my lips, and rub around the glans with my tongue, and
soon enough it became engorged with blood. The lack of worry about
swift erection is the beauty of oral sex, especially for kids and
more especially for first timers and new partners. Later, when I
would be involved more directly, after we moved to Mom's Friend's
House, with girls' deflorations, I came to realize that momentary
impotence could be a problem, a minor crisis. In the days before
Viagra and other erectile drugs (now often used by nervous teens)
one had to keep in mind the risk of nervousness: fear of inadequacy
can bring about its own failure, and not only for boys. This was
one of the reason for having mothers there: they would have the
presence of mind to prompt the kids to change places, to have the
girl take the boy's penis in her mouth, and to retrieve the
situation by making it erect that way. There was an advantage,
though, in having the boy and girl concerned get together
beforehand, to see and touch each other, with luck for the boy to
have an erection the girl could admire and that he might readily
repeat afterwards. While many or most mothers -- and certainly Rev.
Mary -- liked the concept of virgin boy and virgin girl giving
themselves to each other, and while our reliance on oral sex as
foreplay and as part and parcel of proof of love was assurance
enough of a strong erection and a receptive girl, mothers were
presumed to know and understand their girls. Some preferred an
"experienced" boy.

What I can say about this is that there were plenty of mothers of
sons who would put their boys forward, just like those mothers who
push their kids onto the stage.

http://tinyurl.com/25zfq

They did this for from time to time for deflorations and they did
it for our dance parties. They did this even though it meant,
basically, a family commitment to tolerance of nudity and
acceptance of Mom's Friend's norms for sex. Sometimes I had to fend
these mothers off, always tactfully, since we didn't want anyone
ever to be mad at us. And Mom's Friend tried to limit her circle to
former COG families to make the shared commitment that much
stronger. The last thing we wanted was a boy or a girl impelled,
unwillingly, into nudity and sex. One solution, if there was room
in the house, was for the mother and her kids to come and stay for
a week or so. Needless to say, lot of pretense disappears when one
gets undressed. Surprisingly, I met a lot of nice, compatible girls
that way. Another solution was for the boy to come, perhaps with
his sister, to one of our dances. Girls sometimes came along
reluctantly and only because their brothers wanted to, or, more
probably, a parent felt the need for the brother to become sexually
active. But reluctance could so easily turn to desire. Seeing a
brother and sister naked at the same time, each in the arms of his
and her respective lover, is something of a test; it is also a
lovely, shared life commitment to openness. More than once I was
one of those lovers of such a brother, so I saw firsthand how a
sister might respond to the first sight of her brother's erection
and ejaculation; and indeed the brother to his sister with a penis
in her mouth and semen on her chin. I was touched when I would
sense that my partner's pleasure was not only at his orgasm and
mine, but at his sister's nearby to us. There's nothing unusual
about that, of course; however restrained and free from even
thoughts of incest, brothers and sisters are always curious about
each other's sex parts and sex lives. And, in a way, their
proximity represented a challenge. It was easy for me, as a girl,
to see that I was being observed and tested by the sister, she
would want reassurance as to the pleasure I was giving his penis
with my mouth; at the same time, if inexperienced, she would be
depending on me to show her the way. On this point I have a
tentative observation: it seems to me that the norm Mom's Friend
set all those years ago: that the girl and boy should use oral sex
as their main foreplay, and that the girl should get close to or
over the brink of orgasm before the boy's penis enters her vagina,
has become the "gold standard" for sex today. For women especially,
that is good news. And it is the main thing learned, I believe, by
all the kids who came to stay with us, however, briefly, from 1993
and before, to now.

Even the pushiest mother would understand that you can't allow
unaccompanied boys at a nude dance. We always tried hard to
equalize the number of boys and girls, and if there was to be an
imbalance we wanted there to be one extra girl: she could always
busy herself with administrative things. The innate homophobia
among parents was and is probably a major factor in the support
they gave and give to kids' early heterosexual sex. I have written
about the occasional father who would make a point of staying
behind to see his son's penis enter a girl, notwithstanding that
Mom's Friend frowned on such voyeurism. Mom's Friend, on the other
hand, thought that the "mystical attachment" between a mother and
her son's penis was normal and cute. Not having a son herself, she
was curious about that attachment, and I would see sometimes her
alternate her gaze between a boy's erection and his mother's eyes.
A lot of mothers didn't try to conceal their fascination with their
boys' sex and their boys' sex parts. Even mothers who looked out of
a corner of an eye were rather obvious in their staring. But, after
all, why should a mother who has watched her boy's penis grow so
beautifully and so functionally, who has done all she could to make
him sexually aware -- why should such a mother not take
satisfaction in her son's lovemaking? The more so if she and the
girl's mother together contrived the liaison.

Thinking of the time (or times) it happened at a defloration
party, there can be no other explanation for a mother helping her
teen-age son to undress, even pulling down his underpants (To
admire his penis close-up? To remind herself of its size? To have
an excuse to brush against it? She wouldn't be doing this if he
weren't a virgin, so perhaps she wants to see his boy-penis one
last time before it becomes a man-penis). Then she will be guiding
or leading him towards his bride for the day. She will be happy
that her son's penis is already erect, disposing of any worries
over nervous, temporary impotence. Proud of the erection, she will
want us to see and admire it as she turns him, and it, over to the
waiting girl. Given the quasi-religious significance of the event
as pseudo-marriage and the sex-centered lives of both of the
families, none of this should be a surprise. Here's what I wrote
about that:

"There is no doubt in my mind that pride in her boy's penis is
innate in the status of motherhood and I thought it touching that a
mother would feel close enough to her son at the threshold of his
deflowering a girl that she would be the one to take down his
underpants, just as she had when he was a toddler with a tiny penis
who had just wet his pants. One moment his stiff penis was
compressed and constrained by tight white bikini briefs, the next
his mother was pulling them down for him. But his penis got stuck
in the band, so she had to free it with her hand, and then it
sprang free and swayed from side to side as he moved closer to his
partner. His mother strutted along behind him as if that boy's
penis were her very own. ...

"Before I could finish my thoughts the main boy had brought his
girl to climax, or nearly so, and she was signaling her readiness
for penetration. Now we could see his brilliant erect penis aimed
at her, and her hand on it to guide it; and with one thrust he had
disposed of her virginity and she was one of us and happy."

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/45569

Indeed. I guess if a boy is only 12 or maybe 13, but with a penis
ready for sex, the presence and support of his mother is
significant. A boy of that age may still be insecure of his
sexuality, doubtful of his newly grown penis and what it can do. A
boy of 14 or 15, more confident in his penis and its capacity,
probably would push his mother gently aside, even if he was glad of
her admiration, glad for her to see his big erection. An
experienced boy, one of those whose mothers promoted them
repeatedly for deflorations, would be pretty much on his own, his
mother just watching from the side. In either case, the "bride"
herself would have been made up and laid out for defloration by her
mother, the way the girl herself had wanted, her breasts pushed
forward, her legs just so. She could not know if she would be
expected to take the penis in her mouth at the start or if the boy
would go directly to her vagina with his lips and tongue. The
couple of times I was involved, I always thought the girl should
get to know the penis first: this not only put the boy at ease, and
gave him a tight erection, but it made the girl more of an active
partner. Having seen Rev. Mary's event, I think now that for the
kids to shower together first is a great idea.

If the ceremony seems odd, bear in mind that only a girl brought
up in a special way would be likely to want it. She will be
impatient for sex as soon as her breastlets start to attract boys;
she may worry about the adequacy of her vagina, but that's what a
mother's reassurance is for, and it's also why kids should be free
to enjoy oral sex first. For us, the penis is already a love-object
even before we really lovemaking. What it is not, is any cause for
embarrassment, shyness or secrecy. So it was really nice, I
thought, when a girl could, at will, examine a boy's penis
minutely, feel his balls, make him erect, take her time. At least
once I saw a girl at her defloration admire them and caress them
and kiss and lick the penis and keep it in her mouth so long that
her mother, worried the boy might ejaculate too soon, told her to
stop and told him to kiss her clitoris instead. The boy, certainly
already prompted what to do, pulled her legs further apart and
gently spread her labia so we could see it. He would kiss and suck
and then pull away to see it some more and give us a view. For him
and for us it was lovely. When she called for his penis to enter
the couples who were there and the two kids' mothers seemed
overwhelmed. Semen dripped out of her afterwards and it made all of
us watching feel really sexy, as well as happy for her.

Given the easy availability of boys, girls' mothers would always
try to arrange for the best possible boy, the best possible penis,
for the occasion. As it happens, there were mothers who positively
encouraged their sons to seek out virgin girls to deflower. This, I
think, is a kind of psychosis; but we know it is common enough. To
me, though, it's hypocritical to deny the value of virginity while
promoting one's son's penis to accomplish defloration. The
marketing of the boy and penis can get quite sophisticated; Mom's
Friend told me of those who "guaranteed" lots of pre-cum, or "big
and loose balls that girls love to fondle", or a penis "much bigger
erect and inflated than a girl would predict", not to mention
"volume of semen". I omit some of the more bizarre promises; and I
wondered sometimes whether (in particular) those women who were
also mothers of eligible girls considered the girl's interests (in
orgasm, in tenderness) as much as the viewers' in respect of the
promise of an "exceptionally beautiful penis and lots of semen".
Some mothers of girls approved and co-conspired; some felt that
such boys were bound to be good lovers. How they would be in later
life I cannot say, but I came to know a number of the boys because
their moms happened to be in Mom's Friend's circle of friends. By
design, no doubt, assuring their sons access to our girls. When we
had chaperones it was always adults who saw their function as
enabling sex, not preventing it. Most were single mothers, but they
occasionally brought into the circle single men or single fathers
like Terrific Girl's dad who held similar views on child raising
and adolescent sex. I had mixed feelings about men watching us and
being titillated, just as Mom's Friend said she had; but once or
twice she said not to worry so long as the man (and his penis,
presumably) was in the custody of one of the mothers. Indeed at
least two girls and one boy I can remember from our dances were
"weekend children" of such men so their fathers could hardly be
kept completely away. I wondered, but never learned, what their
mothers thought, or if they even knew, of their introduction to
nude dancing, nude socializing and early sex. Terrific Girl's dad
used to have sex beforehand and made no secret about it; perhaps
that solved the problem for him, and maybe he had sex where we
could see it so that we would know he would not be seeking favors
from us. In any case, Mom's Friend, as open-minded as any mother
could be, had no reason to hide the fact that she was having sex,
oral or vaginal, with her partner. Indeed, I think it gave her more
credibility to be known as sexually active. She wanted us to think
of her, and of her partner, as sensual beings, too.

To get back to the story of pushy stage moms of randy boys, I will
repeat the account I gave of the mother of a brother and sister,
who had their first sex with appointed partners under the aegis of
Rev. Mary's church:

"When the couple finished, both couples joined their mothers for
an embrace The three mothers must have felt as I did when the 12-
year-old kids showed me in the garden how they had mutual oral sex,
and then vaginal sex, and were so proud as they approached me, her
vagina wet and his penis sticky. I have written how I so much hope
that children of mine will want me there when they first have sex,
for support and to admire their beauty and to feel their joy.

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38098

"The mothers stared approvingly at their offspring's' bodies. The
mother of the siblings turned her kids in such a way that the three
of them formed a triangle, and her eyes moved up and down darting
from her boy's penis and his balls to her daughter's vagina, then
to her daughter's breasts and to the faces of both of them. I
wondered if she often saw them naked, or if this was a rare
opportunity for her to verify the beauty of their bodies and their
sexual capacity and competence. Looking at them in the nude, with
traces of semen on their genitals and grins on their faces she
couldn't ignore their new condition and status and freedom, and she
hugged and kissed them repeatedly. A few minutes later the kids had
showered and dressed, and walked hand in hand with their mothers to
the parking lot, and went to their respective homes. But a new
private life had opened for them: a life marked by desire,
anticipation, ecstasy and semen."

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/45030

At Rev. Mary's, mothers of girls could and did watch, but they did
not get involved: that was a girl thing, and Rev. Mary's daughter
was presiding. At Mom's Friend's House, mothers might and did
interfere. I can recall, once, a mother remarking "Ooh, there's
lovely pre-cum at the end of his penis, dear Lick it off!". This
says, I think, as much about that particular mother as about the
nature of the event. On the other hand, my research showed that
deflorations of a less organized kind, a girl of, say, 14, being
deflowered at home by a chosen boy at the home of her parents and
with family about, is far more common than most people would
believe. In certain subcultures this is customary; it's certainly
more civilized than the droit du seigneur (as to which may I remind
you of the plot of The Marriage of Figaro: the lord had the right
to sleep with any of his dependents on her wedding night) or the
peasant Hindu custom of sending a prospective bride of 12 or
younger to the temple to be deflowered by the priest. A Google
search should yield plenty of other examples.

Despite all I have written about more formal affairs, most
deflorations, like mine, happened not by parental or even by the
kid's pre-planning but by chance, perhaps in the garden. Unlike
mine, most had at least a few minutes advance planning, perhaps a
few hours, and several girls about to provide moral support.
Sometimes, like the Big Breasted Girl and her lover, a couple came
to one of our parties as friends of a friend, perhaps not expecting
to have sex but presumably knowing that at a nude teen party it was
possible or likely. The sexual electricity was bound to put them in
the mood, and as readers of this series will recall, I certainly
encouraged that couple and rejoiced to see the boy and the girl,
having watched me and my lover, share their own first orgasms. A
young penis, very stiff, making its first tentative thrust into the
girl's vagina arouses a passion in all of us. The same is not true,
at least for most women, on film and video: absent a special
romantic plot, that is pornography. For women it is the passion and
the romance that count. The penis in mouth and vagina and the trace
of semen as proof of love is the dénouement. This is no secret:
women have different tastes in such things.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/20/national/20FEM.html 

In the midst of a party, with couples all about sexually excited,
and good music and camaraderie, the excitement and the urge are
irresistible.

Absent a party atmosphere, seduction is more complex. Nonetheless,
young or old, the boy who is handsome and witty and who showers his
target girl with attention and expressions of romance will have his
penis, soon enough, inside her. With us, nude usually, there was
less subtlety. A girl could refuse easily enough, but if the boy's
penis was cute and lovely she would probably be in the mood. With
other girls around, perhaps watching expectantly and no doubt
encouraging, the girl will want to prove herself. To know that
rubbing the head of a penis makes semen come out is not the same as
experiencing the flow of semen into your body, mouth or vagina and
knowing that it was your love and attention that brought this
about. A moment ago, the event was unthinkable; now the girl has
suddenly awakened sexually and with her friends around her has
grasped a boy's stiff penis, kissed it tentatively, licked it
around the tip and put it in her mouth the way she has seen other
girls do. Perhaps, if she continued fellating him longer than
planned, she would have to deal with a big flow of semen, something
I tried always to prepare girls for, and, if possible, show them.
Either way, she would then have her own needs to address. Her
friends will enforce her rights: the boy will have to kiss and lick
her clitoris and bring her to climax before they will let him put
his penis inside her vagina. They desperately want to see his semen
in her body, but more than that they want to see her happy, in
ecstasy. As it happens, such things happen every day all over
America and not only in permissive families and communities. Girls
have sex because their peers are doing it, and because their peers
love doing it. Modern kids, it seems, like us so long ago, see no
reason for hiding their sex: they flaunt their nudity, their
embrace, their penis in girl. And they flaunt their love for semen.
Not, perhaps, out of holiness as we did, but out of drama, and
love, and romance and just plain fun.

Our way of life, taken from the 60s commune movement and from what
many considered a bizarre church, is becoming mainstream. I have
said this before. Just as, given our self-confidence and our group
support there was little reason for coyness in our flirting, today
girls and boys are open in their sexuality, responding to culture
and to advertising. For us there was certainly neither false
modesty nor pretense, and our nudity brought with it honesty. The
Janet Jackson affair suggests we're not quite there yet, today In
much of today's music there is still too much sexual aggression. No
girl is turned on by an aggressive boy with an erection; but a nice
boy whose erection is in response to her own sexuality and meets
her own desires is always welcome. It all happens very quickly once
a boy and girl begin to relate to each other, even if they just
met. At least this was true in our environment, as I shall explain.

I was reading a book in the backyard, Mom was nearby and other
kids were doing homework, or perhaps flirting. One of the pushy,
voyeur mothers I spoke about, a friend of Mom's Friend, evidently
someone she knew from the COG, came by with her son. Mom's Friend
wasn't about, but Mom was. The mother had brought over some wine
and poured glasses for herself and for Mom. She and her precocious
son undressed; she pulled over a chaise longue and her son walked
about looking for a target girl. That had to be me; I guess I was
the only unattached girl. I was reclining in the sun on a blanket
reading and suddenly there was a 15-year-old boy I didn't know
standing beside me, and all I could see, really, was his penis and
his balls. I looked further up towards him, and he took that as
assent. Another time I might have sent him away, but for some
reason I didn't want to. His penis looked interesting, and in just
the few seconds the boy and I had looked at each other, it had
already started to get aroused. As I looked at the little slit in
its head I thought I saw a tiny drop emerging, and I stared at it.
In an instant the book was out of my hands and on the ground, and
he never stopped talking, asking me questions -- always about
myself at least -- and stringing my answers along in a special
dialog that made me seem the center of attention. Until somehow I
was sitting on his lap and his hands were on my breasts and his
penis now firmly rising between my thighs, which were spread apart
over his. I felt I should touch it now, feel its smoothness,
collect that precious drop of seminal fluid. That, of course, made
it rise higher, challenging me. Now his fingers fondled my vagina,
felt their way around my clitoris. And we were kissing and
fondling. Then, soon enough, I was on a chair and his mouth was at
my vagina and for the longest while he was making me feel so good
and so delicious, and then I came.

A girl mostly likes to be very close to her boy in sex, and that's
why the missionary position is both traditional and best for penis
in vagina. But it's not the best for those who want to see and be
seen, and this boy, albeit a bit awkwardly given the height of the
platform where he'd moved me -- suddenly had my legs raised, my
vagina exposed and his penis, so hard and stiff it seemed to hurt
him to pull it down enough to insert it into me, had now entered,
with something of a squishing noise. And my Mom and his mom had
direct sight of his penis going all the way in, then being pulled
practically all the way out so most of his glans came into view.
And of course I could watch, and so could he; and it really did
feel good, extending my climax.

I have to say that, awkward as the position was, it gave me a new
perspective of making love. My young boy seemed mesmerized by the
sight of my whole body and the view of his own penis entering and
leaving my vagina. Meanwhile, I had a clear view of his body too,
and of his penis as it made love to me. And there below was his
lovely scrotum, his balls swaying with his movement. Even if it was
a bit uncomfortable with my legs askew, and even if here was not
the nice body contact, with me all close to my lover, my breasts
pressed against his chest, the visual stimulation more than made up
for it. I wanted to be the center of attention, and so I was glad
that our two mothers were there. He seemed to brace himself for
ejaculation anyway I saw a change in his demeanor and then felt
semen pumping into me and saw some coating his penis and dripping
out, and it felt to me holy. Mom's description to me, when I was a
little girl and she was explaining her own lovemaking, of semen as
God's communion was never more real than at that time. As the boy
withdrew his penis, a bit of semen trickled out onto me, and onto
my pubic hair, and I wanted to catch it, precious fluid. I caught a
bit on my fingers and tasted it, thinking of what I had read of
Holy Communion in Establishment churches, and wondering about the
holiness of our sex. And the boy's erection did not go away, his
sticky penis was still quite erect, lovely and glistening with our
joint fluids. We couldn't stop smiling at each other. I wanted him
to hold me tight, but instead he walked off, past his mother, with
his penis wet and sticking straight out, to the faucet where Mom's
Friend kept a stack of washcloths. There was a dish of condoms
there, but he hadn't used one, and I was glad because I was so
happy to have his semen.

I was mad at him for abandoning me for these seconds. He moistened
a cloth and brought it over and cleaned me off, and gave it to me
to wipe him. I was going to, but I didn't. Instead, I took his
penis, limp now but still wet and sticky, and put it in my mouth. I
squeezed out a few drops of semen and licked and licked to make his
penis was hard again. I decided I loved him and his penis and I
didn't ever want to stop. But he didn't come again, and after a few
minutes he stopped me, taking his penis out of my mouth and lifting
me down to the ground. For a long time I kept moving my tongue
around my mouth, trying to recover every bit of the taste and
flavor of his semen. And I grasped his balls and his penis with my
hand and then we pressed our bodies close together and hugged and
kissed. I guessed that his mom and mine had watched it all and been
witnesses and silent partners in our sex. And I read into his
mother's enigmatic smile that special relationship I'd come to
believe certain mothers of boys have with their son's penis. That
day turned from a boring, ordinary day in the sun, alone while
others tried out relationships, had sex, to one of the most
memorable of my life. It was, though, an event impossible to
replicate. The sex position is awkward, the boy is different, the
audience is not the same, the vision of that semen as a
spontaneous, divine intervention just isn't there On reflection,
too, I see the fleeting quality of love and romance. Trying to
recapture the feelings of the day with the penis of another boy, or
even the same boy, is impossible. Perhaps it had something to do
with our age, with our mothers' presence and approval; or maybe it
was just the sexual stimulation and release, and my need for that
at the moment. I shall never know.

I would see that same boy from time to time at our dances and
occasionally in the backyard. Familiarity brought its own reward; I
might tease him a bit more. Once I held his penis firmly and licked
and licked the underside forever until it shook terribly and
ejaculated huge spurts into my mouth. That's a time-consuming tease
I haven't done often, but it's fun. I never partnered with him at a
dance, but that was not intentional. I was quite happy seeing his
penis making love to other girls. Even then I had no illusions that
a wonderful experience of sex and orgasm necessarily held any
promise of a permanent relationship; nor did I want that. Since I
was in charge of organizing many of the dances, my own partner
would usually be someone I saw a lot of, or else some outsider I
targeted and whose penis I wanted to have for myself out of whim
and fancy. Even in the backyard sometimes I took the initiative; I
saw no reason for any boy to make the first approach. if I
particularly admired a boy's penis and if I wanted it for myself, I
knew how to make it erect with just my body language. But, like
Shirley Valentine when she saw Costas Caldes flirting with another
woman, there was no regret and no jealousy on my part in seeing his
penis in another girl's mouth, her mouth dripping with his semen,
his mouth making love to her vagina.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/ShirleyValentine-1018853

On the other hand, if the boy's mother was there I would wonder if
she was keeping score, comparing me, favorably or unfavorably, to
this successor girl. In truth, more than likely she was just doting
on her boy's penis, marveling how it had grown, thinking of her own
adolescence, watching it go in and out, anticipating its
ejaculation. And maybe, if she indeed shared our beliefs, marveling
too at God's presence. Mom's Friend's had a principle that, like
some temporary marriage, a boy and girl should stay together for a
whole day at least. She didn't like girls changing partners, for
example, in the middle of a dance although we sometimes did it
anyway. I'm not sure what Mom's Friend's reasoning was: perhaps it
was to avoid arguments. Perhaps, more philosophically and
theologically, it was to avoid the mixing of different streams of
semen, although I don't see the reasoning there since, even
granting that semen is sacred, we didn't necessarily have sex more
often than once and a couple might, just occasionally, tire of each
other after a few minutes of belabored conversation and then there
might be no sex at all and two frustrated kids. The only way to end
the struggle, in that case, was either to feign headache and go
read a book, leaving the boy to his own devices, or else to grasp
the boy's penis and climb over him with your vagina over his mouth,
ending the conversation. That way we could just enjoy each other's
body and forget the conversation. The latter didn't solve the
problem of subsequent boredom, but I could always abandon the boy
and talk to some unencumbered girl. At most parties that's what
happened a lot of the time post-sex anyway. A second round of sex
would depend on how things had gone the first time.

I have commented before that the kids who lived at Mom's Friend's
House, and the other kids we knew, were by and large good students,
intellectual and talented. (Indeed, Mom's Friend would not tolerate
truancy or poor scholarship, so girls and boys had an incentive to
study, if they liked the lifestyle they enjoyed living or visiting
with her and us.) I have also speculated that part of the answer
lies in the fact that our relationships were direct. Dating and
relationships in the "normal" world are, in truth, terrible time
wasters. We had more sex, but we also had more time to study. And,
although a few of us were talented athletes most of us accepted
Mom's Friend's judgment that except for "lifetime sports", most
notably tennis, swimming and the like, sports talent really
wouldn't lead one anywhere. Once we got to college there would
always be others so much more talented that we'd realize taking the
time away from study and love -- and relating love to athleticism --
was a waste of time, effort and talent. Yes, I had sex with a
stable of boys, but I would not have sex with the members of the
football team, for example. There is a distinct difference between
sex as a matter of intellectual freedom and of theology and of
romance, and sex as a matter of keeping score of real or pretended
celebrities. The issue is not only the (un)likelihood of a
celebrity taking care to bring a girl to orgasm, but that of mutual
respect. As it happens I did not meet the love of my dreams during
my free-love, student days; some others did. And, as I have
written, I've lately latched on to a childhood sweetheart I had,
and in some ways that's even nicer: we have earlier experiences and
dreams to share, as well as our todays and our bodies. I accept
that a girl may choose to be a groupie, and may choose to collect
her trophies of the event, but that denies her own sexuality and
capacity in most cases, I think. Cynthia Albritton, a/k/a Cynthia
Plaster Caster, achieved her own celebrity status as a groupie, of
course.

http://www.cynthiaplastercaster.com

Most importantly, there is a distinction between girls and boys in
sexuality as well as pornography. We all know that it's easy enough
to arouse any boy; but the girl who values herself wants to attract
not just any boy, but her own target boy. For us, at Mom's Friend's
House, boys were, in effect pre-screened, to be "nice" boys; and
since it was a female-centered community, they were sponsored by
their own mothers, or other related female. It goes without saying
that while few mothers took the interest in their son's penises as
the particular one I just wrote about, they all must have had a
relationship of trust, confidence and caring. As it was explained
to me, from the earliest days of changing her son's diapers to the
first sign of penile growth and pubic hair, and the first nocturnal
emission or masturbatory ejaculation, the mothers of sons I knew
would be aware, observant, interested and eager to celebrate. None
were embarrassed to see a son's erection, whether the son was eight
or eighteen years old, indeed to show off a son's erection to her
friends. I wrote of the article in a French newspaper about mothers
of handicapped boys who masturbated them; more than one mother I
spoke to for one of my research projects was proud to confide that
she had subtly introduced her son to masturbation.

http://tinyurl.com/2o54v

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38995

Wealthier families contrived an environment that encouraged the
libertine way of life for their kids: a hot tub or a sauna or an
enclosed swimming pool. What was ostensibly innocent nudism
inevitably led to a pairing off for sex. My story of sex in the
shower at college is a cute story, but it's banal, ordinary: such
events occur every day and we scarcely notice or comment.

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37604

And among family and friends of Mom's Friend such relationships
might begin at whatever age breasts began to arouse boys -- because
no body had occasion to be embarrassed by the resulting erection.
And one girl, perhaps -- like me -- precocious, might take interest
in the penis. As I have written, I liked letting the bull calf out
of the corral, knowing there would be no turning back for him.
Somewhat like that boy I wrote about who sought out girls to
deflower and who, incidentally, would put on a good show at a
defloration party, somehow right away making his Virgin want to
take his penis in her mouth to show her own mother, and his, how
she loved it to bits. It's easier, of course, to make a boy happy;
it was rare for a boy to resist my fondle and my caress of his
penis to make it hard. If I could find a drop of seminal fluid at
the tip of his penis, I knew I had won the game. I would tell him
to stop what he was doing and I would flick it away with my tongue
and taste its loveliness and its promise. For me to make him
ejaculate afterwards in my mouth, and for me to show off his
manliness to his friends and mine, was not some pornographic
display but rather a touching introduction to sensuality, sexuality
and adulthood, or so I thought. My audience was the girl audience,
though; any boys about whose thoughts turned to sex were
incidental, although if I could start a chain reaction so much the
better. My immediate aim, however, was to make a particular boy of
12 or 13 or 14 proud of himself and of his penis, to make him want
to express himself and, indeed, God's will and God's sensuality.
And to share God's communion. I would frequently surprise a boy
whose expectation of himself was limited by the false celebration
of penile size. I've said often enough (paraphrasing, in fact, a
famous and quotable sex worker) that really huge penises are
unwieldy and unsatisfactory in oral love, and sometimes painful in
vaginal love. A boy in early puberty who lacks the confidence --
and therefore, at least the first time, the erection, for vaginal
sex -- will have a total change of personality after his first oral
sex. If ever I wanted, he would bring me to climax with his tongue
against my clitoris: this boy whose mother would have taught him to
admire, love and respect the beauty of a girl's vagina. How
different this culture is from the sexual slavery that supports
female genital mutilation in Africa and the Middle East and denies
women their birthright of orgasm when and where they want it. One
does not need to be part of the subculture that seeks out "cream
pie" images to recognize the beauty of the vagina or mouth seeping
semen, to see that as proof of joy and Godly love. A testimony to
life, to fecundity. A witness to romance. Is it false religion that
has taught so many to despise sexual organs, to revile the vagina
and the penis as "ugly"? If Moses David did nothing else good in
his latterly sordid career, he did teach the beauty of sex, and, by
extension, its parts. One of the nicer things that feminist art has
done for women is to popularize images of the vagina.

http://www.myvag.net/images.shtml

Interestingly but unsurprisingly, adults are less inclined to
exhibit their own sex activity. Mom and the other adults didn't
hide themselves while in the act, but they were far more discreet
than we teens. They were (and are) just naturally less
demonstrative, exhibitionist and, for that matter, frequent, in
having sex. Mom's Friend and Terrific Girl's Dad having sex in the
open was, as I suggested, as much a matter of telling us that
Terrific Girl's Dad had already had his fun. I don't think he was
trying to send Terrific Girl a message of any sort; he had an
erection and an itch and Mom's Friend was there, and then his penis
was inside her, moving in and out. And then there was semen. In a
way, I think, Terrific Girl was proud to be seeing at work the
penis that had created her. Anyway, I saw her standing there, nude,
gazing. Then he and Mom's Friend separated, and they cuddled and
caressed and it made us, I think, more tolerant of middle age, more
respectful of parental sexuality. Especially as Mom's Friend kissed
her partner's penis sweetly, licking it around the tip. Then she
arose and went about her chores; and we returned to reality.
Terrific Girl's dad looked at his daughter, inspected her nakedness
as she inspected his, probably admired her breasts as she admired
his penis; they smiled at each other in a father-daughter way,
indeed the way he would smile at her when he would see her with a
penis in her mouth. It made me wish for a father, to wonder again
who my father was and what he would be thinking of me now, nude and
ready for sex.

As a little girl I saw Mom naked often, in the old house, on the
houseboat and in her own room or in the backyard of Mom's Friend's
House. And I remember seeing her take her boyfriend's penis in her
mouth: she wanted me to know that was how it was done, and for me
to see her delight as her partner brought her to orgasm and his
penis inside and outside of her. But it was something that, once
seen, was understood. I was more interested, if I wanted to see how
bodies worked, in watching the teens having sex in the old house.
And by the time we moved to the houseboat I was having sex myself
often enough, seducing boys (including, as it has turned out, my
present boyfriend). Then, it didn't matter anymore; anyway the
houseboat was so cramped that if Mom and I were both going to have
sex it would have to be side by side, each with our own partner,
minding our own business. That didn't happen very often, although
as I have pointed out in other essays, Mom had no (false) modesty.
In reality, she had a falling out with her boyfriend, who owned the
houseboat, and we left not long after and moved to Mom's Friend's
House, where things were far more structured: for us, sex was
largely reserved to the basement and the backyard. There we kids
saw and we experienced early love. We learned, or were conditioned
to, sexual beauty. I saw the variety of penises (didn't
Cosmopolitan run an insert on that point a few years ago?) and came
to love those that, not to big limp grow strong and round and have
lovely round tips and a cute slit that awards me drops of seminal
fluid when I touched them. I came to love the soft balls that moved
when I touched them and made me feel sexy to be holding them. I
loved it when I held my favorite penis in my hand, took it my
mouth, and other girls watched and smiled. And when my boy
presented me with semen, I enjoyed it and would show it off.
Always, I knew that before or after my boy would kiss me all over
and would love my vagina and think it lovely, a source of joy for
us both and he would make it the focus of his attention, excite me
and make me ecstatic. The pleasure was doubled when others watched.

We girls learned from each other: not just lovemaking skills but
boy-managing skills. The mystery and delight of early love remains,
fortifies, stimulates. It wasn't long after Terrific Girl watched
me bring a boy to ejaculation while he slept that she discovered
her own changing body How different from those fanatical,
suppressive Muslims who shout that a girl must have her first
period in her husband's house, not her father's!

http://michnews.com/artman/publish/article_2506.shtml

Certainly from the moment I first saw my early breastlets arouse a
boy I knew that it would not be long before I would get really
close to a penis. It should have been a nice affair, with a chosen
boy approved by Mom strutting towards me on my bed, his penis high
and quivering, tremulous, straining. But the human condition is
sometimes frail, isn't it. Seeing Terrific Girl's response to my
stimulation of the boy and my swallowing of his semen, Older Girl
and I took charge of her. Terrific Girl didn't have a special event
of her own either, as it happened; few girls did, and her father
was away at the time. But she had her first sex at a party, with
her best friends about to celebrate her new-found freedom:

"Most memorable of the first-time sex experiences that I saw and
had reason to appreciate -- because I so loved the girl -- was that
of the Terrific Girl on the chaise longue at the swimming pool
party. It was because I so loved her and wanted only the best for
her that the Older Girl and I arranged things so that she would be
at ease, and her boy primed to be solicitous and respectful as well
as loving. I always pressed boys to prepare a girl with his mouth
and his tongue, to bring her close to climax so that his penis in
her vagina would be just the final act, the crescendo of a
magnificent event. By the time the girl would be ready for him, he
would be in a state of high excitement. But regardless of that
boy's prior sexual experience, if I had got to speak to him he
would know that this day belonged to his girl and that she deserved
utmost consideration. Scarcely any girl likes brutal sex, whether
relating to penis in vagina or mouth on vagina. There is no
shortage of Internet guidance on this.

http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/cunnfaq.html

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38266

For us to see a boy's penis, all aroused and excited over the girl
we loved, for us to see it very stiff, hovering over and then
entering her vagina, and for us to see and hear the girl squeal
with delight and fulfillment, not with pain, brought to us the
"meaning of life" that others say escapes them She and he would
surely show off his semen afterwards with pride; indeed Terrific
Girl kissed and licked her boy's penis afterwards, until it tired
and became soft. From that day on, Terrific Girl wanted to share
her knowledge with other girls as she shared herself with loving
boys. She carried her breastlets, and then her breasts as they
grew, with new meaning and influence. And she enjoyed romance and
sex with an aim not of rampant promiscuity but of seeking, testing,
enjoying and, in the end, finding a compatible mate not based on
some false criteria but on true mental, emotional and physical
compatibility and love. That we do respect such love is clear
enough: among us were lots of paired partners, one or two of whom,
like the young couple still at Mom's Friend's House, who'd been
having sex together from the age of 11 or 12. (Even though I had my
own first sex at 11, I'm not sure that 11 or 12 is the right age;
but then I have to admit that in this and other matters, generally
"mother knows best" her own child Not that she will always be able
to intervene in a split-second event of defloration, as my
experience shows.) I got the impression that Mom's Friend got the
word to Terrific Girl's Dad while he was still on the road; anyway
from then on he treated her with, I think, a bit more respect and,
perhaps, admiration. He could see her growing breasts and her
sprouting pubic hair: could he tell from looking that she was now
emotionally grown-up and having sex? When he was at home, he still
enjoyed being with her in free nudity, and he certainly showed no
hint of jealousy when she would have sex with him around. He had
wanted this kind of life for his daughter, and he was happy for
her. I wanted to think we could be the same; but then I have often
dreamt of my father's penis inside my mother, creating me. Indeed,
sometimes when I am kissing a boy's penis I am reminded that my
mother did the same, and that for generations back to Adam and Eve
my ancestors have done this too. How lovely! But the images, the
pictures, are in my mind's eye only.

Fortunately we never sought to take pictures except the most
innocent kind, whether clothed or not. I note that European
Convention on Cybercrime has made illegal not the event of underage
sex, which is legal most everywhere at 16 and in many places from
the time of puberty, but its illustration in digital form, where
the participants might seem to be under 18 (or perhaps, in some
places, 16).

http://conventions.coe.int/Treaty/en/Treaties/Html/185.htm

The USA has signed it but hasn't yet ratified it

http://tinyurl.com/2ouax

Still, the treaty's terms are finding their way into law, and
maybe that's just as well if it does in fact protect children from
abuse. But in the US the penalty is 15 years in prison (it was
formerly 10) without much or any leeway on the part of the judge,
which seems disproportionate to sentences for murder and other
atrocities.

http://www.sexcriminals.com/news-archive/info-16661.html

Anyway, as I said, the closest thing any friend of ours has come
to sensual photography is a series of sequential family naturist
photographs, mom and dad and girls and boys, every six months or a
year, recording family history and physical growth, only
incidentally marking the kids' passage through puberty and the cute
development of their breasts, penises, hips. Not much different
from any photograph you might see in Health and Efficiency, the
naturist magazine. I recall the faces of kids with secret, knowing
smiles that are the sign of happy childhood as well as fulfilling
emotional, and, for those post-puberty, sexual, lives. The key is
early learning to share. Sharing toys as toddlers, and sharing
orgasms, and much more, as teens. Seeing such a photo reminded me
of how I have seen sexual happiness develop in kids, seen them
imperceptibly develop emotionally as they develop physically, and
then suddenly announce by word or by deed that they want to claim
their birthright, they are going to have sex. In watching kids over
the years I liked to see if I could guess when that would happen.
One felt, sometimes and in some cases, when one saw a coquettish
girl, of trying to hurry the decision along with encouragement and
admiration for a developing body. With boys it was easy: a shy boy
was bound to be seduced by one of the girls because his sexuality
and the state of his penis, and quite likely an erection, would be
rather obvious to us. One wanted to be encouraging and yet
protective of girls, more easily coerced. It is worth noting that
none of us would ever make fun of a boy's penis, or his naivety, or
his shyness. In that, we shared some of the ethic and protocol of
naturists. But then, we played our share of nude volleyball and the
rest. It wasn't only for and during sex that we enjoyed seeing each
other in the nude. A lot of times kids who lived with us or spent
time with us before and during puberty shared in the games but not
in the sex, except insofar as seeing was learning.

In the matter of sex, and in particular first sex, I decided one
can never really tell when a kid is ready. There were kids who
would have sex before one thought them physically very mature and
others who waited until they were fully mature. I knew at least two
girls who started oral sex before they had their first period.
Mom's Friend "encouraged encouragement", but, as I have said many
times, she forbade coercion. She also forbade sex between kids aged
more than a year, or at most two years, apart. But our kids then,
like virtually all kids today with access to the Internet and
knowledge of peers doing it in school stairwells and out back, saw
oral sex as normal and healthy and fun, as indeed it is. That a
particular kid knows about it doesn't mean she feels up to doing
it, but I suspect that more kids than we knew were having sex,
especially oral sex at least, long before they let us see them at
it. This is true of Mom's Friend's House and it certainly was true
of school. Eventually sexual activity would be obvious; when a girl
is "in play" that fact can't be hidden for long; nor will she want
to. Her secret sex is a brief secret. For girls who lived with us
it would go against the precept of total honesty and openness with
her mother not to confide; but then these were visiting girls who,
I guess, found an opportunity for sex, or found sex thrust on them,
when their mothers sought refuge with us. They hadn't necessarily
grown up in the midst of free love and nudity, much less the
constant appearance of proud erections without embarrassment nor
any attempt at concealment, however perfunctory.

Just as it is difficult or impossible to introduce to nudism a
pubescent teen who has never known the subculture, in general one
had to grow up amidst our common nudity and sexual sharing to fit
in easily, especially at age 12 or 13 but even at older ages. This
is not a hard and fast rule, and I did bring home the odd girl of
17 or 18 from community college and just two from high school, one
of those on a sort of dare. Otherwise only Mom's Friend could be
the judge of character -- character or parent, especially --for
admission to our circle. Those who attended our nude parties were
almost always from similar communities. I never did find out where
the Big Breasted Girl and her boyfriend came from, but they were an
item, a couple. Mom's Friend's concern, after around 1985 anyway,
was health and safety as well as risk of denunciation, perhaps from
jealousy. Because if not grown up to appreciate our mores and our
norms, well I need only quote Shakespeare, that "Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned". The measure of Mom's Friend's success is
that at no time in the years that we lived there was there any
trouble with the authorities. But then, Mom's Friend was always
discreet, and many or most of the women she sheltered came from a
similar Children of God background, but unlike her they weren't
trust-fund brats with a large house. Without her, they had no place
to stay, so even if they were temporary boarders, they were
grateful. And, like Mom, they were probably veterans of flirty
fishing for Moses David; like me, many of theirs were love children
with no idea who their fathers were. Such a mother, who might have
been protective of her son's penis or her daughter's vagina before
was likely to revert to Moses David's "Mo Letter" doctrine of
freedom of childhood sexual expression once she came to see our
lifestyle and our quality of life. More than once I saw pretense
discarded in a heap, mother and daughter or mother and son adapting
to our way of life, having sex within a day or two of arrival. Most
interesting was the development of what I called above the
"mystical attachment" between mother and son. It already existed,
of course, but would have been suppressed. The two of them now
nude, and getting used to each other's nudity, the mother could and
would be forced to address her feelings. Mom's Friend, and my Mom,
knew this and they always alluded to it, especially when they saw a
boy having an erection in his mother's presence. Mom, I think,
never saw a penis she didn't admire, and she was always generous
with praise and comment. Lots of times she would ask me if I was
interested in the boy, and I would take that as an invitation to
approach him, chest pushed out, perhaps touching my vulva
nonchalantly. I have said that I think mutual oral sex is the
ultimate in "class" and if I was trying to impress a boy's mother,
and she had a COG past, that is what I liked to propose, indeed
insist on. With me on top, the boy would have to come to terms with
the totality of my genital area and if he needed advice Mom or one
of the girls would give it. A lot of the time they would just tell
him to take all my soft parts into his mouth, and to be gentle and
suck and kiss. Once of twice I had to stop and give an anatomy
lesson, showing where the clitoris is and what it does. If that
made the boy's mother feel inadequate in her sex education, so be
it. It was usually easy enough to postpone the boy's ejaculation
until I was ready; but if not, by that time he was under my spell
and would have to work at me from below.

The problem, of course, with the 69 position is that it takes
great discipline, especially for a boy, to concentrate on bringing
his partner to orgasm once he feels the onset of his own. But if
the lovers are slender, if the boy's penis is not too big and not
too small, and very stiff, and if the girl's breasts are nice
looking even when hanging down vertically (that's a lot of if's,
I'm afraid), then the sight of mutual oral sex is enthralling and
very sexually arousing. I intentionally do not write much in these
essays about the adults' sexuality and sex, but I have to say that
often enough when parents saw us at mutual oral sex they would pair
off randomly and excitedly to have somewhat more modest sex on
their own. In a community where a boy or a man was supposed to be
proud of his erection, there is a corollary that girls and women
should be pleased to see it. A single mother with that mystical
attachment to her son's penis might not see his erection and his
ejaculation in personal sexual terms, but almost certainly will do
so when a partner, or potential partner, appears beside her with an
erection she can legitimately embrace, kiss and bring to
ejaculation just as her daughter has done. When I seduced a boy in
front of his mother like that it was for this very reason as much a
test of the mother as of the boy: I was being provocative. Also, if
the boy was young it was a way of taking charge of the boy and his
penis before he reached an age and a maturity where he would take
control of himself and be careless and thoughtless. I wanted his
semen on my terms, and I wanted him to know that, and his mother as
well. And I wanted him to gain good habits for the future, to be a
good lover and husband and father, to understand me, his mother,
the mother of his children and all his daughters: and to respect
our sexuality and our birthrights. I wanted the boy to see the
vagina as a thing of beauty, and I wanted him to know that his
future sexual success depended upon his accepting it as such. In my
experience, the younger a boy starts sexual activity the more
likely he is genuinely to love girls as a gender rather than as sex
objects, and their sex parts for what they are and for their
inherent loveliness.

Seduction is scarcely a rare skill; one only needs to be
observant. If I approached a boy and he became increasingly tense
as my breasts entered his "personal space" I knew I could control
his emotions. It was easy enough to ask some innocent question, and
if he dared stare at my breasts, then his penis belonged to me: if
an approach and an embrace didn't stiffen it, a caress and a lick
might. Repeated kisses and licks and caresses would seduce even the
most naive penis in due course. And once that penis ejaculated into
me, the boy was mine for as long as I wanted. Invariably on the
next try he would have gained confidence and his penis would be
ramrod stiff. Not every girl was as much a predator as perhaps I
was, but Older Girl, Terrific Girl and I, and later on 17-year-old
Happy Girl, just to mention four, brought seduction (as we thought)
to a high art. Virginity held no value to us, our point was that
every boy should be awakened sexually as soon as reasonably
prudent. I wanted to see every young boy realize the potential of
his penis in a grand way, early and often. Indeed, I wanted to
compare it, mentally, in its stages as it grew and as it spurted
greater and greater quantities of semen. I wanted him to be one of
us, and to be part of a loving group that made love: one at a time,
yet together. A loving group but, I have to admit, no less catty:
("how sweet" or "what a jerk", depending on a boy's thoughtfulness,
skill and intellect). A fine penis does not compensate for
arrogance or stupidity, as I found in due course with the Sixteen
Year Old Boy, the ex-boyfriend I wrote about who's now a
refrigeration engineer.

Still, girls, too, play their games. I recall a picnic we had in
the backyard at Mom's Friend's picnic table. Three other girls and
I (Older Girl, Terrific Girl and another friend) vowed to keep our
partners in a state of erection throughout the lunch, to give them
pain without release until after we'd finished the picnic. And so
it was: we were all nude, and it was a matter of regular fondling
by each of us of our date for the day, all the while hoping he
wouldn't explode in ejaculation onto the table. Then, as at other
times, Mom's Friend's refrain rang in our ears: "biggest is not
bestest, thou shalt not have a contest of penile size". Her point
is that the "bestest" is the boy who gives you the most consistent,
most intense, orgasm and who, incidentally, offers a reliable
erection; and for most girls (more than 50%) the only sure way to
orgasm is for the boy to kiss and lick her clitoris and vaginal
area long enough to bring her to the brink of orgasm, prior to
putting his penis in her vagina. Anyway, I think of that whenever
my e-mail mailbox fills up with spam on the subject. (I remember,
however, a sex education class where the teacher/lecturer made that
argument -- minus the part about oral sex -- only to have some jock
in the back row shout out, "No! Only a BIG penis does the job
right!" I think I must have smirked at that, since I had more
experience in the subject than anybody. I kept silent; Mom always
told me to play the part of a religious girl, that this would keep
our family safe, and she was right.) Anyway, it's a good thing I
don't give sex advice because I would rate as "inadequate" any boy
who doesn't (1) follow Mae West's advice, about liking a "Guy What
Takes His Time" ("a hurry up affair, I always give the air...")

http://ubl.artistdirect.com/store/artist/album/0,,300122,00.html

(2) doesn't think first of my orgasm and (3) doesn't think my
vagina is as beautiful as I think his penis is. On the other hand,
a boy who meets those norms, and who makes me feel good, and who is
witty and thoughtful and respectful of my body, soul and mind
always gained my heart, too, at least for the day. And enhanced his
reputation among my friends, some of whom would probably have seen
us exchanging bodily fluids and might want to come to know him
better.

Guys have to remember that sex is a two-way street. Young
adolescent girls (as I have explained above) have the freedom to
experiment during a period of relatively carefree sexuality. Most
older girls will reject -- not always, but as a general rule --
even the nicest penis if it doesn't offer some sort of promise for
the future as well as a certain orgasm now. In a word, a penis has
to have style, just as the boy has to have character.

I have no regrets nor any reason to have any. Surely I am not the
only person who undresses in my mind's eye interesting and handsome
men and boys just as, presumably, they are undressing me in theirs.

Love, Carol

----------------------

NOTES

In previous essays I have provided references to many of the
incidents I describe, to show how they factually exist in
subcultures throughout America. When I show these essays to my
girlfriends today, some express surprise and suspect invention and
exaggeration. But these points, among others, are documented:

-- The links between sex and religion (obvious in mainstream
religions' laws about sex), including the use of sex as sacrament
(marriage, in religion, is often a proxy for defloration) and the
practice of circumcision (and its connection with sexuality,
women's preferences and religious law), scarcely need to be
remarked upon.

-- I've discussed in earlier essays the religious aspects of
virginity, puberty and oral sex and how many of Mom's Friend's
views are today mainstream and can be documented as such. The main
difference is that Mom's Friend operated a boarding house for other
former cult members, abused single mothers, and vacationers trying
out an open lifestyle, and certain relationships and practices
flowed naturally from that.

-- Household nudity is extremely common. It has occasionally been
associated with incest, child abuse and even murder, e.g., the
notorious Fred and Rosemary West case ("25 Cromwell St.") in
Gloucester, England. Parental sex in front of the children is also
common and almost never prosecuted. (But see:

http://www.caller2.com/texas98/texas20599.html

("What this couple calls sex education, police call aggravated
sexual assault. A mother and her boyfriend of 11 years told police
they were educating her teen-age son and two daughters when they
had sex in front of the children and the boyfriend groped the two
girls, police say.") I suspect the arrests had more to do with the
alleged "groping" than the demonstration.

-- Couples having sex in parallel, each couple's arousal building
on the others' yet each couple independently having sex, much as we
did at our dances and parties, is almost too common to mention.
When I was in college, we always shared double and triple rooms to
save money, and, no surprise, this was scarcely an obstacle to our
having sex: indeed it guaranteed that we would, each with our
partner. This is, of course, a more generalized version of the
brother and sister watching each other make love, with the
participants being friends rather than family.

-- I don't dwell on the issue of STDs and protection, except to
say that this became a matter of importance to each of us once we
began to find our partners outside the closed circle of Mom's
Friend's House and related families and groups. I have mentioned
the issue only often enough to make it clear we were cared for and
watched in this respect. The issue has become more serious in
recent years: indeed it led, in part, to the demise of the former
structure of the Children of God and certainly to the end of flirty
fishing. At that point, to preserve the principle of free oral sex
as precursor of vaginal sex, two points were emphasized: oral sex
is, in fact, less risky than vaginal sex (although far from free of
risk), and an absolutely closed circle of partners is the only
means, short of abstinence, to foreclose risk. This is one reason
why parents had to be closely involved in their children's sex lives.

-- My experiences involved educated, intellectual professionals. I
include within that category women like my Mom who had been
recruited out of college into the Children of God. But for their
abandonment of family and education, they would have been firmly in
the middle class. Few prosecutions for sexual abuse (or, more
commonly, neglect) of children occur in that stratum with the
exception of divorce/custody fights where the allegation is part of
the strategy. I found 9 state-court appeal cases since 1999 in a
search for "sex in front of the children" on the free legal
database at

http://www.lexisone.com

Absent incest, violence or physical abuse, the issue simply does
not come before the courts; and the criminal cases seem involve
mostly the uneducated and the unemployed and often mention drugs,
guns and assaults.

-- Teenage fascination with penises and erections and oral sex is
hardly news; the proliferation of Web sites is testimony to that.
Multiple couples having sex in the same room is so common as not to
merit surprise. Neither is the constant changing of partners within
a closed community and the start of sexual activity immediately at
puberty, the essence of a few of the 60s communes' way of life.
Defloration parties arranged by girlfriends are not unusual, even
at age 13. Journals of abnormal sexuality ignore these because they
are not deemed sufficiently "abnormal". Attempting a general Web
search is fruitless because the predominance of pornography.
Parental homophobia and encouraging children to engage in
heterosexual intercourse at puberty is not politically correct to
study, but is known everywhere.

-- I have referred in earlier essays to published accounts of
former Children of God members who engaged in "flirty fishing" and
described the 60s cults. Such books can be found in libraries and
at amazon.com, including especially Miriam Williams, "Heaven's
Harlots"

http://www.allreaders.com/Topics/Info_22165.asp

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38266

-- Other points that have been raised are addressed in this essay,
specifically the matter of penis and vagina as beautiful anatomy
and objects of art, and the history of plaster casting (something I
tried myself once, because Mom had told me about an article by
Ellen Sander, "The Case of the Cock-Sure Groupies" published in The
Realist (in an earlier essay I had attributed it to Rolling Stone
magazine)).

http://www.ellensander.com/buybooksrock.html

-- Girls' fascination with penises from the earliest age needs no
comment. Whether mainstream girls view penises as beautiful or not,
it's clear that most girls from puberty on want to meet and make
friends with penises. Competitive oral sex, with several girls
showing off to each other how well they can perform for the group
with their boy's penis is a common fun sport My only reservation is
the concern that the girls be assured their orgasms in turn. As for
showing off, as my essay suggests the most impressive display
requires a love of semen and an ability to gather the semen on your
tongue and spread it around the head of the penis for the others to
see, and then to suck the semen in and swallow it happily and with
love. I mention above the importance of viscosity and quantity for
this to work right. A girl who hesitates or who loses control, and
winds up with semen all over her and her friends seated nearby,
will not impress anybody with her performance. Another aspect of
such competitions among teenage girls is to see how many
ejaculations she can manage with her boy during the session. That
isn't something we tried, and I would like to think the reason is
that we were more concerned with quality than quantity.

-- However different the reader's impressions or experiences may
be, I can attest that a surprising number of mothers are supportive
of their daughters' oral sex exploits, perhaps (and not
incorrectly) thinking that skill at oral sex will greatly enhance
her marriage prospects. Numerous mothers brought their kids, girls
and boys, to Mom's Friend's House with that in mind. Brothers and
sisters might have giggled at seeing each other giving and
receiving orgasms (although usually they did not) but there was a
serious motive behind their learning curve: ultimately to improve
their station in life. Few outside mothers, I think, shared Mom's
Friend's religious justification for early sex. Whereas she and Mom
saw holiness in oral sex on a penis, it's my impression that
outside mothers were more clinical in their observations,
interested mainly about their daughters' improved future prospects.
But perhaps I'm being overly cynical, and certainly their daughters
joined us in the fun and excitement and, once aware of their
potential for orgasm had a changed outlook towards relationships
and what they would expect from boys.

-- On the above point, the sophisticated reader may recognize two
things: Karl Marx accused organized religion of trying to keep "the
workers in submission and ignorance", which is another way of
saying that it tries (as the Catholic Church admittedly says, using
this very term of art) that one should accept without question
one's "station in life". I wonder what Joe McCarthy would have said
about Horatio Alger and, indeed, most Americans, who have
ambitions: are they in some way closet Marxists? And is the very-
American attempt to suppress sex while at the same time
commercializing it some kind of new, synthesized religion? If so, I
prefer Mom's Friend's more honest theology: God made sex for us to
enjoy, early and often. Those who would suppress our natural needs
and keep us from holy communion are agents of the Anti-Christ
(that's not her word for it, it's mine).

-- Girls' fascination with penises is nothing compared to boys'
obsession and insecurity. The proffer by a pushy mother of her son
with the loose scrotum and hanging balls reflects a real subculture
where boys and men attach weights to their testicles to lengthen
their scrotums and present a more impressive appearance,
irrespective of ambient temperature, etc. A search of Yahoo groups
(and the Wall Street Journal archives, of all places) will reveal
all kinds of issues relating to circumcision, including attempts to
reverse the process (well, that was tried too by some, with greater
or lesser success, during the Holocaust, and I think it was
mentioned in the film Europa, Europa (Hitlerjunge Salomon)). See
also:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ForeskinRestoration/

which discusses as well scrotum stretching. Here, the distinction
has to be made between cosmetic (and mildly public-health positive)
male circumcision and the abusive, oppressive and gender-hating
female genital mutilation. See, e.g.,

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexytobeCircumcised/

(also discussing clitoral hood removal).

For the rest: these essays are based on my childhood diaries.
Those diaries recorded, in abbreviated form, what I did and what
thought about people. They recorded less well what others did with
each other. For much of that, I extrapolated and devised to make
these essays readable. They are, anyway, fair accounts of what I
saw and felt. In general, these kids grew up well and sane and, for
the most part, joined mainstream America. To my mind, the only
unusual thing about their past is that it was recorded here. I
maintain that the removal of shackles from children's expression of
their sexuality at whatever age it manifests itself is normal: it
is social restraint and punishment that harms and creates "psycho-
sexual abnormality" leading, sometimes, to inadequacy, sexual
violence, incest and more.





<1st attachment, "reflections1.txt" begin>

.   La costanza, tiranna del core,.   Detestiamo qual morbo
crudele.   Sol chi vuole si serbi fedele:.   Non, v'ha amor se non
v'Š libert....      -- Il duca di Mantova, Rigoletto, Prelude,
Scene 1


"'Here is a girl, aged thirteen or possibly less, unable to speak
English, living in London with a man twice age to whom she has been
married by Moslem law. He admits having had sexual intercourse with
her at a time when according to the medical evidence the
development of puberty had almost certainly not begun. He intends
to resume intercourse as soon as he is satisfied that she is
adequately protected by contraceptives from the risk of pregnancy.
He admits that before the marriage he had intercourse with a woman
by whom he has three illegitimate children. He further admits that
since the marriage, which took place as recently as January of this
year, he has had sexual relations with a prostitute in Nigeria from
whom he contracted venereal disease. In our opinion a continuance
of such an association notwithstanding the marriage, would be
repugnant to any decent minded English man or woman. Our decision
reflects that repugnance.' ...

"Held: the marriage would be recognised by the English court as a
valid marriage ..."

-- [From: Alhaji Mohamed v. Knott, [1969] 1 Q.B. 1, quoting,
above, top, and reversing the decision of the Southwark justices;
the result has been abrogated by provisions of the Domicile and
Matrimonial Proceedings Act 1973, s. 3(1).

[Lest readers smugly assume that Christian America was always free
of such heathen influences, let me remind you that (1) America once
had a Muslim colony, too: Philippine Mindanao, and the U.S. Supreme
Court had to deal from time to time with the matter of the
supremacy of the U.S. Constitution over the Philippine Organic Act
of 1902 and, (2) we have today whole towns populated by dissenting
Mormon polygamous families. Not to mention Jewish, Muslim and
atheist polygamists, all of whom I have referred to in prior
postings and can be found online. Start, with respect to Mormons,
Tapestry against Polygamy at

http://www.polygamy.org

[Finally, our view has always been that only sex between same-aged
adolescents is right and good; I quote from the above just to show
what is "normal" elsewhere. Read on for an adumbration of my
philosophy of life and of childraising.]

-----------------------

This is another chapter in a series of essays I have been writing
over the past two years, drawing from my childhood diaries. I have
written that for us virginity something to be rid of early; it
represented an inhibition that brought no pride, its loss was, yes,
a rite of passage but only in the sense that a girl came to terms
with the notion of penis as God's instrument for her, the means of
Holy Communion and of receiving semen, the literal body and blood
of Jesus and His heirs. As girls and boys we had been brought up in
familiar nudity and in awareness of sex as part of normality and of
joy. Romance was part of it: but romance was with God too, and
pairing off as couples was for later.

Adolescent sex holds a joy, and exercises a right and a freedom,
that frightens many adults, especially those in positions of power:
the very reason why most religions deny and suppress it, why
parents chaperone their daughters, why the State condemns and
punishes its underage enjoyment. "Official" attitudes to nudity are
irrational: both Victorian/Islamic/fundamentalist and at the same
time prurient and quasi-commercial. We all want to see erect
penises and semen, yet we fear them. We settle with the sight of
all but a little bit of breasts, and occasional glances of more in
films. But we are scandalized (as in the censored French film "Fat
Girl", when we are brought face to face with child sexuality and
sexual violence upon children). As in the old French bureaucratic
chant, our leaders delight in "finding us in an irregular
situation" and having the option of prosecuting us, even taking
away our kids. Yet this denies reality: denies what goes on in the
world, and what is natural. And there is nothing more natural than
having sex, and for kids waking up, one day, wanting it too. As
kids, girls especially, approach the end of their teens, our wants
and needs change. Having been confronted with the promise of sexual
joy, we suddenly look down at our bodies and realize they are
touchable, feel-able, susceptible to giving and receiving tactile
pleasure in a sexual way. Yet, having educated us fully, having let
the cat out of the bag, we are told to wait. (Never mind that, Net
Nanny notwithstanding, every kid, today, has seen erect and
ejaculating penises and semen-covered faces and vaginas on the
Web.) And, it is said, we should be ashamed if we don't: we must
resist both our humanity and our sexuality. I don't know what drove
Moses David to extremes, but in his better days he made sense of
all this, and he invited sexually aware and sexually able kids to
express themselves. Mom and Mom's Friend left when the Children of
God went beyond that degree of liberality: they accepted kids'
right to love and sex from the moment of puberty, but they also set
down criteria to keep kids safe and to keep them within their own
closed and safe community of like-minded families. That statement
of rules leaves open how one ought to deal with pre-puberty
expression of sexuality, especially given that children were
exposed to adults and teens having sex. My research for essays I
did for my college psychology thesis surprisingly found rather
little on the subject that was convincing, most addressed to what
the experts considered "sexual deviancy". A few conclusions
regarding "normal" kids:

-- There is a known "gratification disorder" of children, but this
relates only to very young children and toddlers, usually with some
serious disease such as epilepsy.

-- A study in Turkey showed that masturbation among under 5s (a
common "disorder") might be "cured" by psychological counseling and
good parenting.

-- A study in Canada found that the "mean age at first intercourse
among nonvirgins was 13.76 years for males and 14.8 years for
females"

-- The rate of spermaturia [appearance of first sperm production
in boys] at age 12 years was 37.5%, and at age 13 it was 68.9%. Our
previous report showed the rate at age 11 years to be less than 1%.
Because of an uncertain number of false negatives, these are
probably under estimates of the true rate of spermatogenesis. (I
find this very interesting because it approximates the age of first
vaginal sex among boys I knew; but compare that with the
observation about boys in Israel.)

-- A study of 4,976 high-school students in Israel, representative
of this age group for the entire country except for 13 percent who
attend religious schools, revealed that about one-third of the boys
aged 14-15 and almost one-half of those in the 16-17 age category
have had sexual intercourse.

-- As for slightly older students, perhaps not directly on point
but useful to know: "Data were obtained from a nonrandom sample of
203 unmarried university females ranging in age from 18 to 22 with
a mean age of 19.8 Sixty-one percent of the subjects had performed
oral sex on their partners and 68% had experienced their partner
performing oral sex on them." (From the Journal of Sex Research, v.
19, p. 327, Nov. 1983. The interesting point here is that it
confirms what I have consistently seen, but which is contrary to
the conventional wisdom: cunnilingus is significantly more common
than fellatio, but both are normal parts of lovemaking for half the
youthful population of America today. For what it's worth, 100% of
my friends use oral sex as foreplay, most of them since the age of
13 or 14 at the latest.)

Mom's Friend didn't have a complete answer to the question of pre-
puberty sexual expression. Indeed, although she walked out on the
Children of God because Moses David's personal practices had become
increasingly pedophilic, I've been unable to discern any bright-
line test, and as there aren't any pre-puberty kids at her house
today, the question is a moot one. I'm not sure that the exposure
to overt sexual acts at Mom's Friend's House was, in reality, more
damaging than to the suggestive sex of MTV or the exposure to
pornography on the Internet and elsewhere; in fact I think the
latter is worse. In fact, though, most immature children have no
impulse, no wish, to imitate adult sex in any serious way. If a
girl or a boy came to ask the question "am I ready yet?" he or she
probably was; after all one didn't see pre-pubescent kids having
intercourse. It is busybody observers, quick to say "gotcha", who
seize upon incidents like the Raoul W. "touching" incident.

http://web.amnesty.org/library/index/ENGAMR511761999

A cursory Web search shows (anecdotally, so it doesn't mean
anything statistically) that lots of boys begin to masturbate by
the age of 7 or 8. It is said that "100% of boys masturbate by the
age of 15" and I suppose that's true, but it doesn't say much since
30% of those boys have had, or say they have had, sex with girls
too. I wrote of the incident where I observed a boy of 11
masturbating, and I finished the job for him. This was my first
real contact with a penis, and I thought at the time it was out of
curiosity. In reality, it was my own awaking sexuality at work. As
the boy ejaculated at least some semen, he was clearly "post-
puberty"; inasmuch as I had my first sex not so long after that,
nobody can deem the incident "abnormal" or, maybe, even
"precocious". The incident, with the bit of semen that landed on my
face, led almost directly to my later decision to try oral sex: I
was no longer afraid of semen. (Only later did I absorb from Mom's
Friend the concept of semen as medium of Holy Communion; at the
time I was being influence by the general free-sex theme of the
commune where we lived.)

I've alluded in earlier writing to even younger kids I'd seen in
sex play. I have to say that I never really paid attention to the
question of "at what age did boys first masturbate" (or girls, for
that matter). The adults studiously ignored the subject, and paid
no attention to a child's masturbation. This was in contrast to a
child's erection, which might get a compliment or two; certainly it
would rate the recognition of a smile. The rule was that if it
didn't hurt and if it was voluntary, then it was probably normal.
Mom's Friend's attitude towards masturbation was ambivalent. To her
mind, it wasn't so much the edict against "spilling seed upon the
ground", as to which I offer a brief digression from "The American
Reporter" for Feb. 3, 2004:

"In the first century of this era, it was thought that the semen
of the male contained a complete human being - just very tiny. An
entire person was there. The semen was to be deposited in the body
of a female. She contributed absolutely nothing whatsoever of her
own to this future human being. Her assignment was limited to
warehousing the little person for nine months until it was ready to
be born.

"Dorothy Parker named her canary Onan because "he spilt his seed
upon the ground." Onan's sin was double (and note that neither was
the masturbation associated with his name): 1) by withdrawing
prematurely, he failed to impregnate his widowed sister-in-law, as
his duty demanded, but, much worse, 2) by ejaculating on the
ground...he committed murder. (Genesis 38: 7-10).

"Any disposition of the male seed in a manner other than that
condoned by law and custom was homicide. Homosexuality was murder.

"Today, enlightened men and women see the matter differently."

http://www.american-reporter.com/2,281/269.html

Her view was that no body should have nocturnal emissions more
than once, or need to masturbate ever, once into puberty because
she managed the balance of girls and boys in her home and as
visitors so that everybody, except the most socially inept, should
have partners for real sex. Semen was holy: it should be shared,
and Onan's crime was pride and selfishness.

It was different for younger boys, who were pretty much left alone
to do what little boys do in imitation of bigger boys. As for
erections of small boys: they exist, but you just don't see a lot
of erect immature penises. Even the babies and boys who have them
probably don't place them in a sexual context. When a boy is on the
cusp of puberty, it may be different because hormones go to work
months before secondary sex characteristics appear. Furthermore, I
think it is common today and has been for years that many kids
engage in oral sex before they engage in vaginal sex; and as I have
frequently written, physical development is less important in that
than emotional development. However, given that it is those
hormonal changes that provide the impetus to sexual urges, it is
unsurprising that I don't know of kids engaging in oral sex before
puberty. I know that Mom's Friend would never have allowed a boy to
approach a young girl's vagina with the intent of inserting his
penis, large or small. If a girl had no pubic hair she was off
limits for that. Yet, the moment she had traces of breasts she
would know that she was suddenly an attraction, even if not yet "in
play". She would start to notice boys' penises, and to notice boys'
changed demeanor towards her. Sooner or later girlfriends would
talk of sex, and quickly thereafter half her conversations, if not
half her waking day, would be devoted to boys, and hence to sex and
penises and things tangentially related to them, like make-up and
clothes. And she would want to see and experience penises not from
a distance but close up. She would see a friend with a penis in her
mouth, enjoying herself terribly, savoring the semen when it came.
No doubt she would talk to her mom, and the rest would soon be
history. The nice thing about where we lived was that one's sex
life need not be -- indeed should not be -- private and secret, but
shared. It didn't matter if a girl chose to have sex once a day,
once a week, or hardly ever. The point was that she wasn't alone
and that her excitement and her joy could be multiplied by being
seen to have fun and being treated with respect by everyone, not
least by the boys living with us or visiting. If outside society
frowns on the "oversexed" (whatever that means) girl, the personal
autonomy that girls were afforded in our society meant that we
could set our own pace. Collective fervor was largely reserved for
our occasional dance parties. I've written about those parties a
lot, for example:

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38807

These were nude dances, dances of a kind that, I recently read in
the paper, go on all over America all the time: kids dancing naked
and having sex. (There are, to be sure, "nudist" dances where no
sex happens and erections are not allowed. But at ours and at those
others, a girl would have been disappointed to say the least, if
her partner did not sport a lovely erection for her, ready and
eager for sex.)

So: I don't know how long nude dancing has been mainstream, but
our dance parties a decade ago were little different from what I
have read about today. They were really exciting affairs, and were
always oversubscribed. Kids came by invitation, with their own
dates or (for girls) with a date arranged by us. They disrobed,
itself an exciting event: in disrobing there was both equalization
and sensualization. Kids, especially outsiders, might take a few
minutes to get accustomed to the nudity and it would be awhile
before conversation ceased to be stilted and artificial. Parents
who brought them, if they weren't "insiders", longtime friends of
Mom's Friend, would likely stare too, notwithstanding they had good
and sufficient reason for bringing their kids, and that reason was
for the kids to have sex. As far as I was concerned there was no
need to pretend we weren't nude, and no reason to ignore our
sexuality. Others, from outside, might have to get used to it, or
if they'd been there before, get used to it again. There was music,
stuff to eat and drink. It would take a while for the party to warm
up, especially if a few of the guests weren't used to household
nudity and free love. There was another point: one was limited, at
least for that evening, to the date you had come in with. That rule
was supposed to solve the problem of petty jealousies and
competition. I always did my best to anticipate that sort of
difficulty. Girls who weren't used to our way of life, we tried to
match with a boy we knew was not only sexually experienced but
psychologically savvy. (It is said, by the way, that all, or most
anyway, penises are created equal, but in fact there's a lot more
than meets the eye. In my childhood diaries I certain rated boys on
their ability to assure my orgasm before theirs, on their
courtliness and the way they recognized and appreciated my own
efforts, and my love for their semen.) The house had already quite
a bit of experience by the time I joined Older Girl in taking
charge of the arrangements, and there was an unwritten rule that
contact, slow dancing wouldn't start for the first hour or so, and
that nobody would have sex until after that had started. We found
that if we timed things well, and if we built up a certain
crescendo, many or most couples could and would have memorable sex
twice in the evening, their orgasms both times reinforced by the
sexual electricity all around, the erections and the ejaculations,
the breasts and vaginas, the scent of sex and love. That, as much
as anything, would be the measure of success of the party. Not
infrequently there would be a couple like the Big Breasted Girl and
her date who were friends of friends, but inexperienced in sex,
just curious. Almost always they got caught up in the spirit and we
would never know that our party had been the scene of a beautiful
defloration. The only way I could tell about the Big Breasted Girl
was because they stood around, staring at me and my date at sex,
and then fumbled a bit when they tried to get the boy's penis into
her vagina the first time.

Most girls seemed to like to tease their dates, to make them dance
close with a stiff erection for as long as possible. (Trouble would
only ensue if they tried to tease other girls' dates beyond
reasonable boundaries, and the other girls took them too
seriously.) If my date's penis had a drop of seminal fluid on it,
I'd put it to my lips, and hold him close and we'd kiss. As
organizer I felt I was on show and would probably tell the boy we'd
have to do mutual oral sex because I knew that would raise the
temperature in the room and it wouldn't be long before every girl
had a penis in her mouth. If I at all could, because it's harder to
accomplish from that position, after my partner ejaculated into my
mouth I would try to collect as much semen as possible onto my
tongue and coat the tip of his penis with it. Then when I would
draw the penis out of my mouth, so long as the semen's viscosity
was right, its quantity sufficient and if I'd correctly calculated
its trajectory and rate of flow, the head of the boy's penis would
be covered with a thick coat of lovely semen. It would look
terribly impressive to the others and I was sure it would make them
want sex too. Grasping the penis with my hand, I would kiss the tip
and suck the semen into my mouth to swallow. Nobody in the room
could doubt, seeing that, that we had made great love together, and
in due course it would do a lot for my popularity. The only trouble
was that the boy would usually get so caught up in his own orgasm
that mine would be lost; and of course he wouldn't be able to see
my little drama with his semen because his head would be buried in
my vagina. At that point I'd turn over on my back, spread my legs
apart and bend my knees and he would have to bring me to climax
that way.

I suppose in most parties there are hidden places to slink off to
for having sex. For us it would have been unthinkable to hide; half
the fun is seeing and being seen. Kids loved to show off their
pleasure; girls -- I at least -- loved to show off their ownership
and control of a their boy's penis, publicly stroking it and seeing
just how stiff and tense it could be kept, and for how long. And
wanting others to admire it ("look, but don't touch", although
sooner or later most of us got to taste most of the boys' penises,
and they our vaginas). And whatever hesitancy or reluctance a girl
had about taking semen into her mouth and liking and swallowing it,
being at a party where all other the girls find semen sensuous and
delicious, if not holy, would embolden her. Indeed, despite all
that Mom had taught me before, my swallowing semen the first time I
had oral sex still had taken a moment of reflection. And I really
did it because I'd seen all the other girls, Older Girl especially
because I respected her the most, having such fun. But most of all,
treating semen as a lovely reward for love. And having their
vaginas treated with reciprocal respect, love and eager desire, the
boy's tongue feeling its way deep into her vaginal canal to collect
its secretions. I think every boy knew what was expected of him
before he sought an invitation, and rather few guys would be
invited who hadn't lived with us with the specific exception of
course of our own dates and of guys who brought their sisters
along; we'd then arrange dates for the two of them. I'm not sure
where the custom of making room for guys and their sisters came
from; somebody must have thought it was cute. I was to run into
that, of course, when I visited Rev. Mary's, but there was a
different reason for it there. As I note below, a lot of mothers we
knew, in common with mothers and fathers generally, wanted their
boys to become sexually active in a safe environment, in the
belief, perhaps, that it would immunize them in becoming gay. That
sounds rather implausible to me, but we never came up with a better
explanation. Mom's Friend's rule had always been that families
commit themselves to our way of life completely, so it was both
brother and sister, or neither. There could be funny scenes when a
brother and sister had never seen each other naked before, much
less the girl with a mouth full of semen. Why that should startle,
given that they were supposed to be sexually liberated and totally
forthcoming with their parents, I can't imagine. Unless they lied
to get invited to the party. Anyway, some of the sisters came back
time and time again, finding our party the life-changing experience
we hoped it would be. I always wondered if they perhaps had a
different appreciation of their brother after having seen his penis
making love to a girl, ejaculating what, in effect, was the girl's
DNA too. I write some more below about brothers and sisters sharing
the sight and passion of their making love in tandem. There is no
hint of incest involved; it's just a shared love of sex and delight
that each has found a suitable partner. I always found these scenes
touching, and it made me a bit sad that I don't have a brother to
confide in, a brother whose penis I can empathize with and whose
erection I can admire, a bit in the fashion of the mothers and sons
I wrote about. I think what I'm trying to say is that I cannot
imagine a family where all the members do not completely take
vicarious pleasure in the joy, especially the sexual joy, of the
other members. The sight of an erection is joy by anticipation,
just as the sight of drips of semen is joy by sympathetic
remembrance. As a girl, my orgasm would be that much diminished if
I could not share in my partner's ejaculation and be close to his
penis before and after; but his penis is not MY penis in the manner
that my father's or my brother's would be. It's because I babysat
for the two kids still at Mom's Friend's House, because I watched
that boy's penis grow from babyhood to adult size, that I take such
pleasure in seeing it wet with semen now. There is no hint of
incest here: in none of these cases is it a sexual pleasure I feel:
rather it is shared pride and happiness that someone close has had
the joy of ejaculating, and that his semen, being divine, has in
turn sanctified the vagina and body of his girl. Her own warm glow
reflects that, and for the moment, she too is family. The preceding
is, of course, largely theoretical: except for Mom I have no
family, and the two kids are the only ones whose aftermath of sex I
can approach in that fashion.

I have my own story to tell about an incident with a sister. It
would have been when I was around 15. A girl of about 17 showed up
with her younger brother, who must have been 14 or so, a little kid
still. She had apparently lived for a while at Mom's Friend's
house; mothers often came there with small kids either because they
were temporarily homeless for some reason or because they needed a
place of refuge, and as long as they were comfortable with the
nudity and the goings on, they were welcome. Anyway, they didn't
stay for more than a few weeks or a couple of months, but the girl,
who was maybe 6 or 7 at the time, obviously was marked in some way
by what she'd seen. They were living miles away, and now she'd
gotten her driving license and figured out that her brother was
sexually mature, she'd driven over to attend one of our parties.
Except it had been canceled, or more exactly that particular party
had never got beyond the planning stage and there were only a few
of us at home. We weren't about to send her back home at night, and
anyway her kid brother looked eager. It was chilly out then, and
there was a video playing in the rec room, so I invited them
downstairs.

I was, as readers of my earlier essays will know, observant enough
of pubescent boys to know that this kid's shyness was born of
inexperience and anxiety. The basement was a place of general
nudity and the kid was going to have to get undressed. His sister
and I took our clothes off with dispatch, and this seemed to make
the kid more nervous than ever. I supposed he might not have seen
his sister nude before; I deduced that from the way he stared at
her breasts -- smallish, but with very large nipples -- and then
over at mine, without making any move to undress himself. I asked
him whether he wasn't going to join us, but he just stood there, so
I loosened his belt, undid his zipper, pulled down his jeans and
pulled him to the floor so he could take off his trainers and socks
and get his jeans off the rest of the way. His sister, meanwhile,
pulled off his T-shirt. He stood up now, with only his briefs on,
and now I could see the outline of his penis. I wanted to see more
so I pulled them down to the floor. His penis seemed
disproportionately large for his body; still, it made no sign of
arousal so I thought we'd just watch the film for a while and let
nature take its course. As a philosophical, if not theological,
matter, we always wanted to dispel ignorance and promote healthy,
intellectual and holy sexuality (as Mom's Friend put it sometimes)
so I appropriated for the sister one of the boys who was in a sort
of mating dance with a bunch of girls and boys working out their
respective partners for the evening. I can't recall the film that
was running, and it doesn't really matter anyway except that there
was enough sensuousness, enough sexual activity, in it to remind us
of why we were there.

Dear Reader, you will have to concede that there is something
terribly touching about seeing a young boy and a young girl
awakening sexually, experimenting sexually, satisfying each other,
producing and enjoying semen. You may or may not accept my argument
about sexuality and holiness, about transfer of semen and holy
communion. But if you at take into consideration my religious and
sexual backgrounds and the how the two were inter-related, you will
understand why I felt like a missionary in those years from 13 to
15 or so, and why it was so nice to take an "innocent" boy and to
show him the pleasure he could have and the obligations that go
with it. I was recently in the Getty Museum in Los Angeles (a
pilgrimage everyone should make) and I had to linger over one
particular painting that depicted --every so subtly and yet
brightly -- a girl as the beauty of romance and sex first occurred
to her. That picture could have been of me, at 11 or 12 years of age.

Well, the sister I have been writing about felt, as I did and do,
that no boy should get beyond 14 without having sex; and although
her sexuality didn't have the religious background of ours and her
acceptance of the concept of "transfer of semen as holy communion"
was probably a matter of expedience and convenience rather than
religious commitment, she was perfectly welcome. What would be
unacceptable for an unattached boy was quite satisfactory for a
girl, and any brother or other boy she happened to bring along. The
lesson I take from the anecdote, in fact, is that even a brief
observation by small children of well-regulated and well-adjusted
adolescent sex has positive results later on. And that early sexual
exchanges and the acquisition of practical knowledge in a loving
environment leads to better choices of mates subsequently and,
indeed, not only sexual but emotional and relational maturity and
to long-term family stability. It is, after all, undeniably true
that the most sexually-driven period of life is the teen-age years
and I believe, as we were taught, that suppressing our sexual needs
at that time causes long-term psychological and social damage. It
is also true that our bodies are at their most beautiful then, and
if a girl is to come to terms with boys' penises and her own sexual
needs, it is when the penis is at its most gorgeous, growing state
that she should do this. But even more importantly, boys need to
see the beauty in girls' vaginas and be eager to kiss and love
them, and to know the physiology of the clitoris, and so on.

I have written how mothers have a mystical attachment to their
son's penises, a psychological relationship that, in contrast,
fathers can never have with their daughter's bodies (that latter
relationship is inevitably more threatening or protective, as the
case may be, and I think Rev. Mary is justified in keeping fathers
at bay during their daughters' deflorations). Indeed girls and
women all love to see a boy's penis in a non-aggressive situation;
and most girls and women -- even post-menopausal women --seemed
turned on by watching a boy's penis become aroused and erect. But
the loveliest sight is to watch a girl make love to that penis: to
watch a girl want and love it and take it in her mouth not out of
any obligation but out of desire. The sister's eyes were only half
on the movie, it seems; the rest of the time they were on her
brother's penis and watching his response to my own body language.
Eventually he did what boys do, and started exploring my breasts
and when things seemed to be going no further I moved down between
his legs and, after a slight resistance on his part, managed to
take charge of his penis and I put in my mouth. I watched his eyes.
It didn't take him long to appreciate the sensation, and after
moving him to the edge of the chair so his balls were free and I
could hold them with one hand while directing his penis into my
mouth with the other, I worked on the corona and the tip with my
tongue and lips and at last he had his erection. I kept on for a
while, but I didn't want him to ejaculate without bringing me to
orgasm, Anyway, that was kind of a rule of the house, a house that
was directed by women and run to female, if not feminist, norms. We
changed places, but either out of shyness, or more likely out of
ignorance and apprehension, he would not start licking and sucking
my vagina. I said something to his sister and her date, and they
got the point: the sister pulled up her legs and held them apart,
exposing her pink vagina and the boy put his mouth to it and gently
stroked her clitoris with his tongue, pushed his tongue as far as
it would go into her vagina, ran it all over her soft parts, sucked
and licked everything and kept on gently embracing, kissing and
romancing her sex parts until her breathing became labored and her
voice excited and she shouted out. He rose, and his penis was
engorged and tense and stiff and waving about. We were all eager to
see it inside her; indeed, the brother's eyes seemed about to pop
from their sockets. Then the penis was inside his sister and she
was moaning with apparent delight. We could see everything in the
subdued light: the repeated movement of the penis against the sides
of the vagina and the girl's vulva and the boy was obviously
enjoying the sight of it too, as well as the opportunity to see all
of his date's body, her breasts moving about, her arms flailing.
Then he came; his pace changed, his penis was wetter and sticker
and as it came out of his girl, there were drips of semen.

The brother continued to stare, and I pulled him down and pulled
his face to my vagina, and had him do likewise. It took him a while
to get used to the sensation, the smell, the taste; but he knew his
reward. His penis was stiff again, so it was obvious that he had
crossed the border into mature sexuality. A few times I reminded
him where my clitoris is, and when on I was at climax I pulled him
up, and his penis was inside me and he was doing with me what the
other boy had done with his sister. Now, however, it was his
sister's turn to watch, and I thought, again, that she seemed
proud. And aroused again, by the time her brother had ejaculated
for the first time inside a girl that she took her own date's penis
into her mouth, and she worked on it, expertly, sensuously, until
he ejaculated and she could show us his semen and taste and swallow
it. Later on I would do the same to her brother because I really
did admire his penis and I wanted to fondle his balls some more. I
made sure the sister could see her brother's semen --their shared
DNA (as I put it earlier) on my tongue. And I leaned back and
admired the boy's very adult penis, his cute hairless balls,
attached to his boy-size body. I happen to think that the incident
proves, to the extent it is provable, that the young pubescent boy
who is guided to early sex by loving girls and women makes a better
lifelong lover than one who responds to peer pressure and "advice"
from other boys, a brother or a father.

The brother and sister spent the night; by the next day, Saturday,
the brother was as confident as boys tend to be after they have had
good first sex, especially when they have seen that the female
partner has genuinely enjoyed the experience and wants more. He was
certainly no longer shy in front of his sister, and she sort of
shared in his triumph. While I went out to the mall, the sister
rounded up two new partners, a 13-year-old girl over for the day
for him, and some boy for her. He could have been the girl's
brother but he probably wasn't. More often than not, brother-sister
pairs came with older, not younger, girls. And invariably, as I
have said, the girl would be fascinated with her brother's penis,
eager to see it active and happy. And indeed aroused by its
activity. This is no different from the situation of mothers at
defloration parties and while the concept may be counterintuitive,
the observation has been repeated enough times for me to know that
it is normal. There is, in all honesty, no value in virginity: the
point is to encourage safe and romantic sex as soon as a pubescent
or adolescent child can appreciate it. Later on, sex will become
part of the mating game and confused with mutual obligations and
demands and potential marriage. By that time, it is, for many girls
and boys, too late to adopt oral sex as normal foreplay, and to
love and appreciate it for its own sake. And since so many women
can reach climax no other way, marriage and sex are bound to fail.
Anyway, there is no reason for a boy to be shy or for a mother or a
sister to be embarrassed in the presence of the boy's erection, or,
indeed, his ejaculation: this is, or should be, a natural source of
universal pride in God's holy plan, and in happiness over
humanity's ultimate pleasure. It's a pity, in fact, that society
and so many religions impose false modesty and imply sin and guilt
to arousal and orgasm, to erection and ejaculation. It is hardly
necessary to state the obvious, even if it is obvious only because
of its repetition in crude jokes: farm kids know about sex and
about sexual pleasure, and at least have the potential to be, to
the extent that they are free from religion other than the COG
kind, uninhibited and realistic in matters of relationships and
sex. And of course there are the kids from Mom's Friend's House who
have grown up in a progressive environment and profited from it, as
far as I can see, having the best opportunity for sexually
satisfying lives and the knowledge to make good and mature choices
in matters of relationships. How much more normal it is for boys
and girls, like the 12-Year-Olds at Mom's Friend's House that day,
to show off their appreciation of each other's bodies, to show off
the boy's erection, their pleasure together, and the boy's sticky
wet penis after their lovemaking. I start from the premise that
there is nothing more beautiful than a boy and girl in lovemaking,
and that the sex parts of a boy and girl are inherently beautiful
and a penis and vagina covered in -- or for that matter a mouth
filled with -- semen is inherently joyous. At any age from puberty
on. As I write this, I envisage a stiff penis, its head covered in
semen, the girl (me, perhaps) admiring it, then popping it into her
mouth!

The 13-year-old looked older than she was. Like many girls,
including myself, she loved to partner, mentor one might say, new
boys -- to take an apprehensive penis and bring it to life. The boy
was still too shy to undress without prompting; the girl undressed
first herself and then him. Neither the sister nor I could take our
eyes off the brother's penis when the girl took it into her mouth,
and as she slid it in and out, occasionally removing it to stiffen
some more, and so she could kiss it and suck imaginary droplets
from its tip. We urgently wanted to see some accidental drips of
semen flow from her mouth to tell us the boy had ejaculated, but
she kept her mouth so tightly against the penis that we didn't know
he had come until she showed us all the semen collected on her
tongue. With us there watching, the brother now had to reciprocate,
repeating to her what he had learned with me the day before and
bringing his date to climax by kissing and rubbing with his tongue
her clitoris. He would stare from time to time at her gaping vagina
and, happily, his penis was stiff enough so that at the last
minute, at the girl's climax, he could put it inside her and the
two of them could make love with mouths joined and penis in vagina.
The sister watched, and beamed with satisfaction. It seemed to me
that the relationship that had been built between them over the
previous day would insure that, for the rest of his life, the
brother would be an unselfish, caring sex partner. Not only did he
have a lovely penis, but he had a lovely shy smile that girls would
adore.

Note that I do not for a moment deny an individual's or a couple's
right to privacy if that is what they want. My point is that most
kids are delighted to show off their experiments in sex, their
orgasms. I argue that modesty and shame are learned responses, not
natural impulses. It is natural to see -- to want to see -- naked
people, and it is natural for couples to bring each other to
arousal and to orgasm with friends about. If sensuality is holy,
then its holy communion ought not be secret or shameful. It is,
after all, patently obvious, even if hypocritically condemned and
therefore unavailable to most people, that making love in the
presence of others similarly engaged magnifies the event and its
pleasure. Much impotence comes from anxiety, and the sharing of the
event and the mutuality of arousal disposes of it. That seems to be
true, at least, of adolescent impotence. It is also true that girls
are excited by the sight of romantic sex: as we found in our nude
dances, a sexy atmosphere builds on itself and creates a mutuality
of ecstasy. The sight of a few erections and the girls who welcomed
them, fondling, kissing, loving, would spread a sexual tension
throughout the room. A couple, perhaps the Big Breasted Girl and
her date, might come out of curiosity; but romance is contagious
and, in the end, irresistible.

Getting back to our unexpected brother and sister visitors, I
supposed that their mother knew where they were and the purpose of
their visit. A mother did not bring her family to Mom's Friend's
House if she didn't share a positive view of youthful sex. This, of
course, explains why mothers were happy for their daughters to have
a defloration party; those who don't understand are simply
unfamiliar either with the Children of God (which certainly never
had such parties but which did encourage kids' sexual activity in
front of parents and, it is said, sometimes with their involvement)
and the 60s commune movement (which probably didn't either, but
which would have understood the concept). Bear in mind, however,
that my observations are anecdotal and unscientific. Perhaps,
indeed likely, I was not paying attention. Arguably the matter
failed to arise because of Mom's Friend's rules about equality of
age and equality of consent: essentially, the girl was in control
and, by and large, only the girl could take the initiative in
matters of sex: she was ready, willing and able, or she was not: a
boy did not need to voice his question or his desire; he could
glance at her and know. After all, she was probably nude, and in
nudity subtle signs may be seen that may be hidden under clothing --
just as there is no hiding a boy's erection in the nude. And while
adults, especially older adults, might be somewhat more discreet in
the matter than young people, there was little point in their
trying to conceal their own concupiscence and intercourse. What
they were doing was of little concern to us as kids other than to
take comfort in the normality of penis in mouth, of tongue in
vagina, of a couple finding delight in a communion sanctified by God.

I do not deny that sometimes a clothed body can be sexier than an
unclothed one. While I still have trouble accepting what an Arab
boy once told me: that a woman in a hijab or a haik can be sexy,
sometimes what one can't see -- in a scantily-clad person -- is
sexier than what one can, that imagination is an important part of
arousal. Indeed, I love nothing more than to take down a boy's
underpants and see his penis suddenly spring to life. It's even
nicer when other girls, friends of mine, are sitting around
casually watching us. And for my boy to disrobe me and admire what
was previously hidden is, of course, sexy too. The question then is
over who will take the initiative in embrace and, in due course,
oral sex. I have learned not to be coy about oral sex; before any
boy gets me undressed I will have established his willingness,
eagerness, to have his tongue explore my vagina.

I've said this before, and I've said also that spiritual and
sexual lives were female-driven: guided by our mothers and by our
older peers. This was important: to assure the girls' welfare, the
boys' attentiveness to girls' sexual needs and wants -- and, above
all, the health discipline needed to protect us from STDs. Boys had
to be sponsored, by a mother, a sister, a girl companion. This had
theological and practical significance: mothers looked after our
safety and health, and not least, they looked after our orgasms. If
orgasm is the proof of God's presence, part and parcel of the
exchange of fluids that is true Holy Communion, then it is a girl's
right. We admired, respected, loved the penis of a lovely boy, and
we wanted that penis to be erect and close and cuddly. In return,
as we were taught, we should make love to it, and celebrate joy and
fecundity and holiness with ejaculation, with semen that we could
and should touch and feel and taste. But for us, following whatever
the COG had to say (which is either muddled or unrecorded), Mom's
Friend went further. She may have laughed and hummed the 1956 Nat
King Cole song, "They Tried to Tell Us We're Too Young", but she
really encouraged us to prepare ourselves for a long life of
frequent and sex. And she argued that our first experience of sex
would be our most important: she wanted to guarantee every girl in
her charge a "proper orgasm" at her first coitus, whenever that
might occur. While Mom's Friend denies that she truly encouraged
early sex (she insists that she prohibited coercion and protected
her girls), the fact is that peer pressure, common nudity, parental
approval and an environment of free love brought ambition, desire
and, inevitably for most girls and boys, sex as soon as puberty
arrived, and almost certainly by the time puberty had finished.

Mom's Friend's House is and was certainly not unique. Mom's
Friend's philosophy (and my Mom's) came from her years in the
Children of God, where children's sexuality was recognized, sexual
pleasure was holy, and young women were sent out as missionaries
"flirty fishing", spreading the Gospel -- proselytizing -- by
having sex with men from outside the sect. The philosophy at the
first house I lived in with Mom didn't have such discipline or
doctrine as Mom's Friend afforded: it was fundamentally a carryover
from the 1960s commune era and instead of Mom's Friend's controlled
nudism there was general nudity and an encouragement and
expectation of early sexual activity. Mom's Friend recognizes the
end of virginity at least in the sense of disparaging it as a
barrier to life and love, and offering a party for girls who want
one, and who want to assure themselves an orgasm: indeed a
choreographed first sexual experience. Mom's Friend and others like-
thinking women promote a theory that for girls, orgasm at first sex
by means of cunnilingus prior to first penetration, assures a happy
and positive sex life later. They argue that, with safety and
health issues assured by a closed community, allowing early
sexuality to lead to early sex -- especially early oral sex -- at a
time when sex and relationships are not confused with finding a
life partner and economic issues allows the development of a
healthy sexual appetite and sexual habits. Above all, they argue
that because sex is the manifestation of God's life order, orgasm a
divine message and semen the medium of Holy Communion, religion,
misogyny and law have no business interfering in its function. In
the outside world, "child protection" becomes "child suppression"
and the inability of society and parents to enforce hypocritical
rules means that many or most children have sex anyway, but on the
wrong terms, in the wrong way, and with risk of infection, coercion
and other harms. Given a structure, with peer or maternal
supervision, girls (because I am mainly concerned with girls) learn
how to maximize sensuality, pleasure and romance.

In my earlier description of a visit to Rev. Mary's church, in
which sex is, 60s-like, a major focus of worship and moral
existence, I showed how peer management was used to try to avoid
"child protection" laws. Both she and Mom's Friend recognize that
total honesty and openness between a boy or a girl and his or her
mother is essential; they go from there to point out, correctly,
that under that circumstance the parents are best able to guide
their child and to determine when she or he is ready for sex. Sex
by accident, as I encountered it, devalues it; a planned and
choreographed encounter, while initially horrific to outsiders, in
fact seems to me to work as the best possible "graduation ceremony"
to sex education. Whether you, dear reader, have encountered this
or not, I can tell you that while institutional and structured
communities like Rev. Mary's and Mom's Friend's are unusual, micro-
management by mothers of their daughters' sex lives exists
everywhere in America. Just as for millennia adolescents were
brought together for arranged marriages by their parents, today it
is done for sex. Mom's Friend, by offering to any girl who wanted
it (and not too many did) a little ceremony with parents and
friends there, simply got rid of the hypocrisy and made the event a
beautiful celebration of orgasm. The proof, if proof be needed, is
that only a tiny minority of girls experience orgasm at first
intercourse. At Mom's Friend's house, as at Rev. Mary's, almost
every girl did. I hope to write more about subcultures and
communities I have encountered where likeminded parents have
combined in recognition and encouragement of their pubescent and
adolescent children's sexuality. Following my meeting with Rev.
Mary, I've been introduced to others who believe, like her and like
Mom's Friend, that spontaneous sexual expression among peers with
physical and emotional capacity is perfectly natural, and that
shame, modesty and inhibition are the only sins. It follows that
that a teenager's first sex experiences should be neither hidden
nor unrecognized, and that oral sex should be positively encouraged
as a means towards lifetime fulfilment, not to ignore a factor in
eventual marital stability.

Of course, to conceive of a public defloration as beautiful one
must first banish the common Western notion of the "ugliness" of
penis and vagina. When I grew up, I found it astounding that there
were people who didn't think penises and vaginas were the most
beautiful things on earth, mirrors of boys' and girls' spiritual
beauty, not to mention their physical attractiveness. The "cloaca
syndrome" [reflecting supposedly "disgusting" source of birds'
eggs] imposed on girls a notion of shame in relation to their sex.
At our often-crowded house, for example, no girl needed to
monopolize precious bathroom time to examine her vagina. To
suppose, as society does. that an erect penis and a dilated vagina
are ipso facto pornographic defies reason and reality. (They also
haven't seen the Washington Monument lately.) I have frequently
pointed out the truism that pornography arouses many men, but that
girls are aroused by romance. This is true of images, which is why
the criminalization of child pornography, while badly and often
unjustly executed, has no impact on the communities I write about.
Proximity to a pair of lovers going through the cycle of mutual
recognition, embrace, arousal, foreplay, penetration, orgasm and
ejaculation is entirely different: it is romance in a nutshell. If
in fact, many or most of the girls and boys of our circle had their
first vaginal sex at a nude dance party, that is the reason.

I wrote about the Big Breasted Girl, and I mention her and her
partner several times below: they came to the party perhaps
undecided, but having seen me and others making love, sex became
irresistible for them. And for us, the boy's grand penis making its
way for the first time into the girl's vagina was a celebration of
everything that is good -- not only with our way of life but with
life generally. We envied that girl and boy, for we all knew that
the most delicious sensation for girl or boy is the entry of his
penis into her vagina at the beginning of sex. That first stroke
brings the promise of mounting excitement and a crescendo of
ecstasy and ejaculation, followed by postcoital calm. Can anyone
seriously suggest that the sight of that girl's (or any girl's)
exposed vagina and her boy's loving penis hovering over it was
anything but beautiful? Who, being there, was not eager to see that
penis lower itself into the vagina? I thought of her hymen only
because she had said something that led me to know she hadn't had
sex before. All the better, then, that this lovely, exciting penis
should make its way past and free her forever to love. I felt,
thought I heard, a collective sigh when, after I helped guide it,
the boy's penis slid all the way into her vagina, his balls
slapping against her body.

In that case as always, the proof (as Mom's Friend and I would
say) is in the bodily fluids: the semen that streams unseen from
penis into girl validates her lovemaking. Minutes later, the Big
Breasted Girl, dazed by her own lovemaking, playfully touched her
finger to the semen and to her, and her boy's, lips. The Internet
is full of web pages that debate whether semen tastes good and
whether it should be swallowed. Those pages start from the wrong
premise: a girl who is raised to love her body and to love boys, to
love and respect penis and vagina and to know their capacities, to
see sex and semen as divine inventions, will accept ab initio as
Holy Communion, respect, love and want it as the carrier not just
of DNA but of love --God's love and her lover's. Sex, ultimately,
is the meaning and purpose of life. The invention of oral
contraceptives was the greatest gift of God to liberate women, and
it validated the new religious belief of the 1960s, exemplified
both by the prophet Moses David (David Berg) and by his sometime
follower, Mom's Friend. In short, Moses David, Mom's Friend, Rev.
Mary and I draw the opposite conclusion from the social engineers
and mainstream religious dogmatists regarding the proposition that
"a girl should have respect for her body and keep it holy". To
admire, to want, to love a penis without wanting a lifetime
partnership with its owner violated the original dogma. In the face
of female liberation and the pressure of commercial interests, the
Establishment would now like to exploit child sexuality without
allowing even mature minors to be seen as sexual beings with
personal autonomy. That hypocrisy has proved a disaster for society
in general, promoting frustration, educational failure, drugs and
crime. Mom's Friend's ethic is not a solution for all or most, or
even, perhaps many. But it must be an option for some.

I have spent several pages summarizing the relevant philosophy
underlying my sexuality and my past because I think, from
correspondence, that it may have been misunderstood. My essays
contain graphic descriptions of sex for several reasons: they
illustrate the philosophy I am trying to adumbrate; they prove the
point of beauty being tied to pleasure, romance and holiness; and,
not least, they make my essays personal, readable and interesting.
I think my own experience at the first house where we lived
provides support for Mom's Friend's theories. There were no fancy
deflorations to celebrate a girl's coming of age; kids were nude
anyplace that suited them and tended to have more indiscriminate
sex. I wound up having sex for the first time by accident, in a
tumble on the floor. Later, I made a little celebration of my own
of oral sex with a boy. I had picked him at random, basically
because I thought his 12-year-old penis was sweet. We went over to
a quiet area, the two of us naked. My friends, my "extended family"
were scattered about. Mom was at work. I was nervous. The boy
smiled shyly and sat in a chair; I kneeled in front of him, looked
closely at his limp penis; picked it up, felt all around it,
remembering the time I had masturbated a boy and made him
ejaculate, and how startling it was to see the semen jump out.

Now, the boy's penis was in my mouth and I felt proud and terribly
important. The penis was getting bigger and stiffer and I was
learning how to handle it with my tongue, and to press my lips
against it, and I remembered how important it was to keep in
contact with the head of the penis, always moving, as others had
told me, at a constant speed and looking in my boy's eyes for
guidance. He would move his body a bit and hint at what I should do
to make it feel better for him; his hips moved sympathetically with
my head. When his semen poured into me, it felt grand, and warm and
viscous. I had to think about it to decide if I wanted to swallow,
and I opened my mouth briefly so others could see, and then I
swallowed and was glad that I did. I saw the boy, yet more
sheepish; he rose and embraced me, sat me down in his place. He
pulled my legs wide apart pressed my labia apart, and told me how
lovely I was inside. His tongue was inside me, then it was
embracing my clitoris and licking desperately all over trying to
please. I helped him out by pointing, and told him to slow down. It
seemed to take forever. I shrieked with my first real orgasm and I
wouldn't let my boy go away to wash just yet, I wanted to hold him
and embrace him and kiss him; and when his penis was erect again I
wanted it inside me, however briefly. And I wanted others to see
his penis, and my drippy vagina. (Girls complain about "the curse"
of drippy vaginas, but right from the beginning I have loved them
and loved to show them off. And, as I later came to understand, if
the semen is holy it is lovely worthy of respect. On that occasion,
anyway, my vagina wasn't drippy: the boy didn't ejaculate enough
semen for that.)

Later, everyone would know what we had accomplished. Other boys
would hover about me: I was "in play" and I could choose my
partner. I looked at faces and penises; I smiled and felt so happy
and so important; and I was not quite 12, with little breasts but,
they said, a happy, sexy smile. But that was the first house. I
would spend my 13th year mostly on the houseboat with Mom, and it
was after that stay on the houseboat that we moved to Mom's
Friend's House. By then I'd had a year of meeting boys on my own,
seducing and being seduced.

A boy must learn from his earliest years, Mom's Friend said, that
he has an obligation, a duty, to bring his girl to orgasm; that his
entitlement depends on hers. If he wants to spend all his life
masturbating that is his prerogative, but if he would rather share
his penis with a lovely girl then there are rules to live and to
love by. This was the point of the "defloration parties" which, as
I said, were infrequent but lovely: arranged by the mothers of a
girl and a boy at any (same) age past puberty, perhaps with a
couple of the kids' friends there for support. I haven't written
much about how boys were chosen: as readers will have noted from
the story about Rev. Mary's attribution of responsibility to the
girls' peers, with no other boys and only the girl's mother
attending, these were really girl-centered events. The mingling of
blood and semen was raised, in Rev. Mary's theology, to particular
holiness; but she knew that society, American society in
particular, did not agree. She kept the hypocrites at bay by
keeping the event private and by keeping adults other than the
girl's mother away. Rev. Mary runs an established church, of
course, while Mom's Friend, a lapsed Children of God member, was
philosophically religious but unchurched. Unlike Rev. Mary's
disciples, we didn't have a Sunday school and an established moral
and sexual curriculum, although I think our training was much the
same. None of us would have hesitated to flirt, to undress, to make
love in front of a parent. Once it is accepted that an erection is
the work and the presence of God and that sex is holy, the rest is
natural. What is cuter than a young boy with an outsized erection,
and a young girl responding to it and kissing it, taking it into
her mouth to enjoy and to pleasure? For kids to undress each other,
to cuddle and to make love in front of family and friends is
neither exhibitionism nor voyeurism. The proof of this is in what I
saw at Rev. Mary's own house:

"I spent the afternoon and evening at home with Rev. Mary. There
were several callers, and then in the evening we watched TV with
her daughter. We expected some friends over for a light supper: two
divorced fathers, one of whom brought over his 'weekend son', who
was a friend of Rev. Mary's daughter, one of many boyfriends I am
sure. We were watching a film and I didn't notice until they were
half undressed that the two teens were having sex fun together. She
was on his lap, topless, and he was sitting in his underpants. His
hands were first over her breasts and then tickling her vagina;
then the couple were kissing, then her hands were under his
waistband stroking his penis and making it erect. None of the
adults paid much heed at first, and in a way it reminded me of
Mom's Friend's house, except that few girls except me violated the
protocol by having sex, i.e., oral sex, in the TV room instead of
going downstairs or outdoors with their partner. Anyway, their
lovemaking confirmed the point I have been making: the default
practice was for the boy to offer the girl oral sex, and by now
Rev. Mary's daughter was completely nude on one of the sofas, and
her boy was kneeling in front of her with his mouth over her vagina
and she was first giggling and bouncing about, her breasts jiggling
in unison in a funny but lovely sort of dance, and then she was
calmer as if realizing a need for concentration to achieve climax.
A moment after that she was faraway-ecstatic, as orgasm approached
from the distance; then as joy consumed her one saw her breasts
heave and her eyes roll as that joy consumed her body and made her
very, very happy.

"The boy dropped his underpants to the floor and stripped off his
T-shirt. Now he was leaning over her, his hands on the back of the
sofa, his penis sticking out, his balls hanging below, his demeanor
anxious and begging. The tip of his penis glistened. He panted.
Rev. Mary's daughter teased her boy only for brief seconds. I
thought her more vibrant than ever in her joy and just as at the
Friday initiations one longed to see the hovering penis enter the
open vagina, here again kissing and licking had made the girl's
vagina so very ready and eager that it rather hurt me to see the
boy's penis still outside. Anyway, in a lot less time than it has
taken me to describe the event, the girl grasped her boy's penis in
two hands and brought it to her vaginal opening and she, her
mother, the boy's father, the other man and I watched it enter and
then we watched her face. In her demeanor we could see, insofar as
anyone can, the meaning of life. She was performing the greatest
act that two people can perform, creating joy out of energy and
friction. We saw too the face of love and as his penis entered and
exited she moved, and her breasts moved, and we smiled.

"I have left this rather exorbitant description of what was really
a brief event -- oral vaginal sex followed by penis in vagina --
because it really was a remarkable sexual encounter. Also, the
positions of the two lovers was such that even in the semi-darkness
we could see everything that went on, as indeed we were intended
to. To watch the exit of a penis from a girl's vagina inevitably
gives rise to regret: one wants to see it go back in, and quickly.
Love is the joinder of two bodies and souls, not their separation.
The joy is in the down-stroke, and the up-stroke is the tease for
the sexual sensation that the next down-stroke will bring. At one
point it seemed that his penis might come out too far: to see the
head of the penis is lovely, but for it to come out of the vagina
completely and for the boy and girl to lose cadence interrupts the
rush to orgasm and interrupts our vicarious pleasure. The boy's
father was watching too, and I felt his arm around me as Rev.
Mary's daughter moved her hands downward to catch the penis and
guide it home. And then we saw, in the flickering light of the TV
and a couple of table lamps a change in the boy's posture. He
ejaculated, the girl moved her hands away, there was a slurping
noise, a dripping of semen, and the delightful vision was over. The
two kids collapsed in a heap and they stayed that way for ages. We
adults could only look at each other and marvel."

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/45030

Rev. Mary's daughter was living out her mother's theology. The
position they chose for their sex, the girl leaning back with her
legs raised and the boy standing or leaning, in such a way a his
penis and his trajectory was visible to both of them and to all of
us, was a matter of pride and sharing. I had seen Rev. Mary's
daughter preside, earlier, in such a caring way at a defloration.
And I saw her now as she carried herself moments later, proud of
herself and of her sex, erect and sensual, with a boy's semen
invisibly inside her. As adults, we learn to be more discreet,
perhaps. But why should kids be bound by our discretion when they
are not bound by our cares and concerns, when they are in a
learning phase? Indeed, having sex openly allows for parental
guidance. The fact of "free sex" did not, in our philosophy, mean
there were no "crimes against nature". Oral sex is, after all,
intended as foreplay, as a precursor to vaginal sex, to mutual
orgasm and to fecundity.

That was what I was taught as a child, and it's what I believe
today. But whether you regard sex as prayer and communion, or as
fulfillment of divine command and achievement of ultimate pleasure,
really makes no difference. As a point of parenting, giving a child
pride in her (or his) body, and making her ready for puberty, is
the important thing. I loved it when boys fondled my breasts in
view of Mom because I wanted her to see that boys loved my body. I
loved it when a boy had an erection for me and Mom could see it and
smile at it in recognition of my sensuality. That, and all the rest
-- the penis entering me, the penis wet with semen, the pleasure
without shame or embarrassment -- it is what I would want for my
own offspring. I would be glad to see, to share, their joy. I would
want enough honesty between us so that my eventual son or daughter
would be happy to stand before me, as those young kids did in Mom's
Friend's backyard, penis still stiffly erect, both penis and vagina
dripping and sticky, seeking and getting approval. This would
validate my childhood and my parenting. Dear Reader, imagine your
own pubescent daughter or son happily showing off new sexual
knowledge to you, the boy with a smile and an erection, the girl
with the glow of arousal and orgasm.

How opposite the blatant hypocrisy over Janet Jackson's nipple and
the repellant, regressive and oppressive mainstream religions. Of
course, as an adult I no longer need to refer, or defer, to Mom for
approval. Thus, if I am in a group of couples, collectively aroused
and eager for sex, there is no reason not to go through the cycle
of arousal, foreplay, penetration, etc., each couple benefiting
from the collective sexual electricity. That's what our nude dances
were all about, it's what happened in the college shower room and
it's what happened at that party I went to in the Capital City. If
I have sex in the backyard today, I'm quite happy for Mom, and for
anyone else, to see me at my happiest. But I am not looking for
approval from anyone, not anymore. I might add that none of the
above helps the person who, by reason of personality, cannot find a
partner. Socially inept kids did not stay long with us. On the
other hand, if the supposed "ineptitude" was a matter only of self-
doubt or fear of, say, impotence or sexual unattractiveness, we
probably had the solution because the assurance of orgasm, the
normalization of oral sex, and the our attribution of a religious
meaning to sex were enabling factors. At one level, fear of
impotence, the fact that a boy could wander about freely with an
erection, and our girls' knowledge of boy physiognomy and
psychology and our use of oral sex as foreplay minimized the sexual
challenge for the shy boy. If he was cute and nice, and if his
penis was attractive (and I ask, what circumcised penis is not
attractive or, more correctly, how often does one see a misshapen,
non-functional penis?), he would have many sex partners.

I note that when I visit Mom now, the two kids there, teenagers,
always contrive to be in my presence, the boy with a big erection
and the girl sheepishly grinning. That, as I note below, is normal
behavior for kids raised the way they were. It was I who (with the
16-Year-Old Boy) taught them about sex, showed them, when they were
toddlers, the inside of my vagina and the purpose of the clitoris.
And showed them how a penis is made to ejaculate semen, and what it
looks like, and where it goes. So, without saying so, when the kids
-- who are one of the rare couples that started as adolescent
lovers in our community and stayed together for years --confront me
nude and tumescent, I know it is by way of recognition. They don't
needmy approval -- they already had that. They are acknowledging a
debt, so to speak. They know, because they have heard me say it,
that I was so touched when after the first time they showed
themselves to me copying, indeed improving on, my soixante-neuf
style, they ran over to Mom and me with penis still high in the air
and sticky after, at age 12, they'd performed for us in mutual oral
sex and then, after a gymnastic flip, vaginal sex. Now still, they
want me to be happy for them, and I am. In another year or two,
they will be more subtle and mature. Society would want to wait for
legal maturity to start sex; biology argues otherwise. Actually,
they are legal already in some jurisdictions.

I have digressed. To return to my account of my "celebration of
oral sex" that day, twelve or more years ago, when a 12-year-old
boy sat in a chair with his penis in my mouth, the reader will have
noted that he did not get an erection right away, although that
didn't really matter. It was fine with me that his penis was still
soft in my mouth for several minutes. I could squeeze it with my
tongue and my lips, and rub around the glans with my tongue, and
soon enough it became engorged with blood. The lack of worry about
swift erection is the beauty of oral sex, especially for kids and
more especially for first timers and new partners. Later, when I
would be involved more directly, after we moved to Mom's Friend's
House, with girls' deflorations, I came to realize that momentary
impotence could be a problem, a minor crisis. In the days before
Viagra and other erectile drugs (now often used by nervous teens)
one had to keep in mind the risk of nervousness: fear of inadequacy
can bring about its own failure, and not only for boys. This was
one of the reason for having mothers there: they would have the
presence of mind to prompt the kids to change places, to have the
girl take the boy's penis in her mouth, and to retrieve the
situation by making it erect that way. There was an advantage,
though, in having the boy and girl concerned get together
beforehand, to see and touch each other, with luck for the boy to
have an erection the girl could admire and that he might readily
repeat afterwards. While many or most mothers -- and certainly Rev.
Mary -- liked the concept of virgin boy and virgin girl giving
themselves to each other, and while our reliance on oral sex as
foreplay and as part and parcel of proof of love was assurance
enough of a strong erection and a receptive girl, mothers were
presumed to know and understand their girls. Some preferred an
"experienced" boy.

What I can say about this is that there were plenty of mothers of
sons who would put their boys forward, just like those mothers who
push their kids onto the stage.

http://tinyurl.com/25zfq

They did this for from time to time for deflorations and they did
it for our dance parties. They did this even though it meant,
basically, a family commitment to tolerance of nudity and
acceptance of Mom's Friend's norms for sex. Sometimes I had to fend
these mothers off, always tactfully, since we didn't want anyone
ever to be mad at us. And Mom's Friend tried to limit her circle to
former COG families to make the shared commitment that much
stronger. The last thing we wanted was a boy or a girl impelled,
unwillingly, into nudity and sex. One solution, if there was room
in the house, was for the mother and her kids to come and stay for
a week or so. Needless to say, lot of pretense disappears when one
gets undressed. Surprisingly, I met a lot of nice, compatible girls
that way. Another solution was for the boy to come, perhaps with
his sister, to one of our dances. Girls sometimes came along
reluctantly and only because their brothers wanted to, or, more
probably, a parent felt the need for the brother to become sexually
active. But reluctance could so easily turn to desire. Seeing a
brother and sister naked at the same time, each in the arms of his
and her respective lover, is something of a test; it is also a
lovely, shared life commitment to openness. More than once I was
one of those lovers of such a brother, so I saw firsthand how a
sister might respond to the first sight of her brother's erection
and ejaculation; and indeed the brother to his sister with a penis
in her mouth and semen on her chin. I was touched when I would
sense that my partner's pleasure was not only at his orgasm and
mine, but at his sister's nearby to us. There's nothing unusual
about that, of course; however restrained and free from even
thoughts of incest, brothers and sisters are always curious about
each other's sex parts and sex lives. And, in a way, their
proximity represented a challenge. It was easy for me, as a girl,
to see that I was being observed and tested by the sister, she
would want reassurance as to the pleasure I was giving his penis
with my mouth; at the same time, if inexperienced, she would be
depending on me to show her the way. On this point I have a
tentative observation: it seems to me that the norm Mom's Friend
set all those years ago: that the girl and boy should use oral sex
as their main foreplay, and that the girl should get close to or
over the brink of orgasm before the boy's penis enters her vagina,
has become the "gold standard" for sex today. For women especially,
that is good news. And it is the main thing learned, I believe, by
all the kids who came to stay with us, however, briefly, from 1993
and before, to now.

Even the pushiest mother would understand that you can't allow
unaccompanied boys at a nude dance. We always tried hard to
equalize the number of boys and girls, and if there was to be an
imbalance we wanted there to be one extra girl: she could always
busy herself with administrative things. The innate homophobia
among parents was and is probably a major factor in the support
they gave and give to kids' early heterosexual sex. I have written
about the occasional father who would make a point of staying
behind to see his son's penis enter a girl, notwithstanding that
Mom's Friend frowned on such voyeurism. Mom's Friend, on the other
hand, thought that the "mystical attachment" between a mother and
her son's penis was normal and cute. Not having a son herself, she
was curious about that attachment, and I would see sometimes her
alternate her gaze between a boy's erection and his mother's eyes.
A lot of mothers didn't try to conceal their fascination with their
boys' sex and their boys' sex parts. Even mothers who looked out of
a corner of an eye were rather obvious in their staring. But, after
all, why should a mother who has watched her boy's penis grow so
beautifully and so functionally, who has done all she could to make
him sexually aware -- why should such a mother not take
satisfaction in her son's lovemaking? The more so if she and the
girl's mother together contrived the liaison.

Thinking of the time (or times) it happened at a defloration
party, there can be no other explanation for a mother helping her
teen-age son to undress, even pulling down his underpants (To
admire his penis close-up? To remind herself of its size? To have
an excuse to brush against it? She wouldn't be doing this if he
weren't a virgin, so perhaps she wants to see his boy-penis one
last time before it becomes a man-penis). Then she will be guiding
or leading him towards his bride for the day. She will be happy
that her son's penis is already erect, disposing of any worries
over nervous, temporary impotence. Proud of the erection, she will
want us to see and admire it as she turns him, and it, over to the
waiting girl. Given the quasi-religious significance of the event
as pseudo-marriage and the sex-centered lives of both of the
families, none of this should be a surprise. Here's what I wrote
about that:

"There is no doubt in my mind that pride in her boy's penis is
innate in the status of motherhood and I thought it touching that a
mother would feel close enough to her son at the threshold of his
deflowering a girl that she would be the one to take down his
underpants, just as she had when he was a toddler with a tiny penis
who had just wet his pants. One moment his stiff penis was
compressed and constrained by tight white bikini briefs, the next
his mother was pulling them down for him. But his penis got stuck
in the band, so she had to free it with her hand, and then it
sprang free and swayed from side to side as he moved closer to his
partner. His mother strutted along behind him as if that boy's
penis were her very own. ...

"Before I could finish my thoughts the main boy had brought his
girl to climax, or nearly so, and she was signaling her readiness
for penetration. Now we could see his brilliant erect penis aimed
at her, and her hand on it to guide it; and with one thrust he had
disposed of her virginity and she was one of us and happy."

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/45569

Indeed. I guess if a boy is only 12 or maybe 13, but with a penis
ready for sex, the presence and support of his mother is
significant. A boy of that age may still be insecure of his
sexuality, doubtful of his newly grown penis and what it can do. A
boy of 14 or 15, more confident in his penis and its capacity,
probably would push his mother gently aside, even if he was glad of
her admiration, glad for her to see his big erection. An
experienced boy, one of those whose mothers promoted them
repeatedly for deflorations, would be pretty much on his own, his
mother just watching from the side. In either case, the "bride"
herself would have been made up and laid out for defloration by her
mother, the way the girl herself had wanted, her breasts pushed
forward, her legs just so. She could not know if she would be
expected to take the penis in her mouth at the start or if the boy
would go directly to her vagina with his lips and tongue. The
couple of times I was involved, I always thought the girl should
get to know the penis first: this not only put the boy at ease, and
gave him a tight erection, but it made the girl more of an active
partner. Having seen Rev. Mary's event, I think now that for the
kids to shower together first is a great idea.

If the ceremony seems odd, bear in mind that only a girl brought
up in a special way would be likely to want it. She will be
impatient for sex as soon as her breastlets start to attract boys;
she may worry about the adequacy of her vagina, but that's what a
mother's reassurance is for, and it's also why kids should be free
to enjoy oral sex first. For us, the penis is already a love-object
even before we really lovemaking. What it is not, is any cause for
embarrassment, shyness or secrecy. So it was really nice, I
thought, when a girl could, at will, examine a boy's penis
minutely, feel his balls, make him erect, take her time. At least
once I saw a girl at her defloration admire them and caress them
and kiss and lick the penis and keep it in her mouth so long that
her mother, worried the boy might ejaculate too soon, told her to
stop and told him to kiss her clitoris instead. The boy, certainly
already prompted what to do, pulled her legs further apart and
gently spread her labia so we could see it. He would kiss and suck
and then pull away to see it some more and give us a view. For him
and for us it was lovely. When she called for his penis to enter
the couples who were there and the two kids' mothers seemed
overwhelmed. Semen dripped out of her afterwards and it made all of
us watching feel really sexy, as well as happy for her.

Given the easy availability of boys, girls' mothers would always
try to arrange for the best possible boy, the best possible penis,
for the occasion. As it happens, there were mothers who positively
encouraged their sons to seek out virgin girls to deflower. This, I
think, is a kind of psychosis; but we know it is common enough. To
me, though, it's hypocritical to deny the value of virginity while
promoting one's son's penis to accomplish defloration. The
marketing of the boy and penis can get quite sophisticated; Mom's
Friend told me of those who "guaranteed" lots of pre-cum, or "big
and loose balls that girls love to fondle", or a penis "much bigger
erect and inflated than a girl would predict", not to mention
"volume of semen". I omit some of the more bizarre promises; and I
wondered sometimes whether (in particular) those women who were
also mothers of eligible girls considered the girl's interests (in
orgasm, in tenderness) as much as the viewers' in respect of the
promise of an "exceptionally beautiful penis and lots of semen".
Some mothers of girls approved and co-conspired; some felt that
such boys were bound to be good lovers. How they would be in later
life I cannot say, but I came to know a number of the boys because
their moms happened to be in Mom's Friend's circle of friends. By
design, no doubt, assuring their sons access to our girls. When we
had chaperones it was always adults who saw their function as
enabling sex, not preventing it. Most were single mothers, but they
occasionally brought into the circle single men or single fathers
like Terrific Girl's dad who held similar views on child raising
and adolescent sex. I had mixed feelings about men watching us and
being titillated, just as Mom's Friend said she had; but once or
twice she said not to worry so long as the man (and his penis,
presumably) was in the custody of one of the mothers. Indeed at
least two girls and one boy I can remember from our dances were
"weekend children" of such men so their fathers could hardly be
kept completely away. I wondered, but never learned, what their
mothers thought, or if they even knew, of their introduction to
nude dancing, nude socializing and early sex. Terrific Girl's dad
used to have sex beforehand and made no secret about it; perhaps
that solved the problem for him, and maybe he had sex where we
could see it so that we would know he would not be seeking favors
from us. In any case, Mom's Friend, as open-minded as any mother
could be, had no reason to hide the fact that she was having sex,
oral or vaginal, with her partner. Indeed, I think it gave her more
credibility to be known as sexually active. She wanted us to think
of her, and of her partner, as sensual beings, too.

To get back to the story of pushy stage moms of randy boys, I will
repeat the account I gave of the mother of a brother and sister,
who had their first sex with appointed partners under the aegis of
Rev. Mary's church:

"When the couple finished, both couples joined their mothers for
an embrace. The three mothers must have felt as I did when the 12-
year-old kids showed me in the garden how they had mutual oral sex,
and then vaginal sex, and were so proud as they approached me, her
vagina wet and his penis sticky. I have written how I so much hope
that children of mine will want me there when they first have sex,
for support and to admire their beauty and to feel their joy.

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38098

"The mothers stared approvingly at their offspring's' bodies. The
mother of the siblings turned her kids in such a way that the three
of them formed a triangle, and her eyes moved up and down darting
from her boy's penis and his balls to her daughter's vagina, then
to her daughter's breasts and to the faces of both of them. I
wondered if she often saw them naked, or if this was a rare
opportunity for her to verify the beauty of their bodies and their
sexual capacity and competence. Looking at them in the nude, with
traces of semen on their genitals and grins on their faces she
couldn't ignore their new condition and status and freedom, and she
hugged and kissed them repeatedly. A few minutes later the kids had
showered and dressed, and walked hand in hand with their mothers to
the parking lot, and went to their respective homes. But a new
private life had opened for them: a life marked by desire,
anticipation, ecstasy and semen."

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/45030

At Rev. Mary's, mothers of girls could and did watch, but they did
not get involved: that was a girl thing, and Rev. Mary's daughter
was presiding. At Mom's Friend's House, mothers might and did
interfere. I can recall, once, a mother remarking "Ooh, there's
lovely pre-cum at the end of his penis, dear. Lick it off!". This
says, I think, as much about that particular mother as about the
nature of the event. On the other hand, my research showed that
deflorations of a less organized kind, a girl of, say, 14, being
deflowered at home by a chosen boy at the home of her parents and
with family about, is far more common than most people would
believe. In certain subcultures this is customary; it's certainly
more civilized than the droit du seigneur (as to which may I remind
you of the plot of The Marriage of Figaro: the lord had the right
to sleep with any of his dependents on her wedding night) or the
peasant Hindu custom of sending a prospective bride of 12 or
younger to the temple to be deflowered by the priest. A Google
search should yield plenty of other examples.

Despite all I have written about more formal affairs, most
deflorations, like mine, happened not by parental or even by the
kid's pre-planning but by chance, perhaps in the garden. Unlike
mine, most had at least a few minutes advance planning, perhaps a
few hours, and several girls about to provide moral support.
Sometimes, like the Big Breasted Girl and her lover, a couple came
to one of our parties as friends of a friend, perhaps not expecting
to have sex but presumably knowing that at a nude teen party it was
possible or likely. The sexual electricity was bound to put them in
the mood, and as readers of this series will recall, I certainly
encouraged that couple and rejoiced to see the boy and the girl,
having watched me and my lover, share their own first orgasms. A
young penis, very stiff, making its first tentative thrust into the
girl's vagina arouses a passion in all of us. The same is not true,
at least for most women, on film and video: absent a special
romantic plot, that is pornography. For women it is the passion and
the romance that count. The penis in mouth and vagina and the trace
of semen as proof of love is the d,nouement. This is no secret:
women have different tastes in such things.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/20/national/20FEM.html 

In the midst of a party, with couples all about sexually excited,
and good music and camaraderie, the excitement and the urge are
irresistible.

Absent a party atmosphere, seduction is more complex. Nonetheless,
young or old, the boy who is handsome and witty and who showers his
target girl with attention and expressions of romance will have his
penis, soon enough, inside her. With us, nude usually, there was
less subtlety. A girl could refuse easily enough, but if the boy's
penis was cute and lovely she would probably be in the mood. With
other girls around, perhaps watching expectantly and no doubt
encouraging, the girl will want to prove herself. To know that
rubbing the head of a penis makes semen come out is not the same as
experiencing the flow of semen into your body, mouth or vagina and
knowing that it was your love and attention that brought this
about. A moment ago, the event was unthinkable; now the girl has
suddenly awakened sexually and with her friends around her has
grasped a boy's stiff penis, kissed it tentatively, licked it
around the tip and put it in her mouth the way she has seen other
girls do. Perhaps, if she continued fellating him longer than
planned, she would have to deal with a big flow of semen, something
I tried always to prepare girls for, and, if possible, show them.
Either way, she would then have her own needs to address. Her
friends will enforce her rights: the boy will have to kiss and lick
her clitoris and bring her to climax before they will let him put
his penis inside her vagina. They desperately want to see his semen
in her body, but more than that they want to see her happy, in
ecstasy. As it happens, such things happen every day all over
America and not only in permissive families and communities. Girls
have sex because their peers are doing it, and because their peers
love doing it. Modern kids, it seems, like us so long ago, see no
reason for hiding their sex: they flaunt their nudity, their
embrace, their penis in girl. And they flaunt their love for semen.
Not, perhaps, out of holiness as we did, but out of drama, and
love, and romance and just plain fun.

Our way of life, taken from the 60s commune movement and from what
many considered a bizarre church, is becoming mainstream. I have
said this before. Just as, given our self-confidence and our group
support there was little reason for coyness in our flirting, today
girls and boys are open in their sexuality, responding to culture
and to advertising. For us there was certainly neither false
modesty nor pretense, and our nudity brought with it honesty. The
Janet Jackson affair suggests we're not quite there yet, today. In
much of today's music there is still too much sexual aggression. No
girl is turned on by an aggressive boy with an erection; but a nice
boy whose erection is in response to her own sexuality and meets
her own desires is always welcome. It all happens very quickly once
a boy and girl begin to relate to each other, even if they just
met. At least this was true in our environment, as I shall explain.

I was reading a book in the backyard, Mom was nearby and other
kids were doing homework, or perhaps flirting. One of the pushy,
voyeur mothers I spoke about, a friend of Mom's Friend, evidently
someone she knew from the COG, came by with her son. Mom's Friend
wasn't about, but Mom was. The mother had brought over some wine
and poured glasses for herself and for Mom. She and her precocious
son undressed; she pulled over a chaise longue and her son walked
about looking for a target girl. That had to be me; I guess I was
the only unattached girl. I was reclining in the sun on a blanket
reading and suddenly there was a 15-year-old boy I didn't know
standing beside me, and all I could see, really, was his penis and
his balls. I looked further up towards him, and he took that as
assent. Another time I might have sent him away, but for some
reason I didn't want to. His penis looked interesting, and in just
the few seconds the boy and I had looked at each other, it had
already started to get aroused. As I looked at the little slit in
its head I thought I saw a tiny drop emerging, and I stared at it.
In an instant the book was out of my hands and on the ground, and
he never stopped talking, asking me questions -- always about
myself at least -- and stringing my answers along in a special
dialog that made me seem the center of attention. Until somehow I
was sitting on his lap and his hands were on my breasts and his
penis now firmly rising between my thighs, which were spread apart
over his. I felt I should touch it now, feel its smoothness,
collect that precious drop of seminal fluid. That, of course, made
it rise higher, challenging me. Now his fingers fondled my vagina,
felt their way around my clitoris. And we were kissing and
fondling. Then, soon enough, I was on a chair and his mouth was at
my vagina and for the longest while he was making me feel so good
and so delicious, and then I came.

A girl mostly likes to be very close to her boy in sex, and that's
why the missionary position is both traditional and best for penis
in vagina. But it's not the best for those who want to see and be
seen, and this boy, albeit a bit awkwardly given the height of the
platform where he'd moved me -- suddenly had my legs raised, my
vagina exposed and his penis, so hard and stiff it seemed to hurt
him to pull it down enough to insert it into me, had now entered,
with something of a squishing noise. And my Mom and his mom had
direct sight of his penis going all the way in, then being pulled
practically all the way out so most of his glans came into view.
And of course I could watch, and so could he; and it really did
feel good, extending my climax.

I have to say that, awkward as the position was, it gave me a new
perspective of making love. My young boy seemed mesmerized by the
sight of my whole body and the view of his own penis entering and
leaving my vagina. Meanwhile, I had a clear view of his body too,
and of his penis as it made love to me. And there below was his
lovely scrotum, his balls swaying with his movement. Even if it was
a bit uncomfortable with my legs askew, and even if here was not
the nice body contact, with me all close to my lover, my breasts
pressed against his chest, the visual stimulation more than made up
for it. I wanted to be the center of attention, and so I was glad
that our two mothers were there. He seemed to brace himself for
ejaculation anyway I saw a change in his demeanor and then felt
semen pumping into me and saw some coating his penis and dripping
out, and it felt to me holy. Mom's description to me, when I was a
little girl and she was explaining her own lovemaking, of semen as
God's communion was never more real than at that time. As the boy
withdrew his penis, a bit of semen trickled out onto me, and onto
my pubic hair, and I wanted to catch it, precious fluid. I caught a
bit on my fingers and tasted it, thinking of what I had read of
Holy Communion in Establishment churches, and wondering about the
holiness of our sex. And the boy's erection did not go away, his
sticky penis was still quite erect, lovely and glistening with our
joint fluids. We couldn't stop smiling at each other. I wanted him
to hold me tight, but instead he walked off, past his mother, with
his penis wet and sticking straight out, to the faucet where Mom's
Friend kept a stack of washcloths. There was a dish of condoms
there, but he hadn't used one, and I was glad because I was so
happy to have his semen.

I was mad at him for abandoning me for these seconds. He moistened
a cloth and brought it over and cleaned me off, and gave it to me
to wipe him. I was going to, but I didn't. Instead, I took his
penis, limp now but still wet and sticky, and put it in my mouth. I
squeezed out a few drops of semen and licked and licked to make his
penis was hard again. I decided I loved him and his penis and I
didn't ever want to stop. But he didn't come again, and after a few
minutes he stopped me, taking his penis out of my mouth and lifting
me down to the ground. For a long time I kept moving my tongue
around my mouth, trying to recover every bit of the taste and
flavor of his semen. And I grasped his balls and his penis with my
hand and then we pressed our bodies close together and hugged and
kissed. I guessed that his mom and mine had watched it all and been
witnesses and silent partners in our sex. And I read into his
mother's enigmatic smile that special relationship I'd come to
believe certain mothers of boys have with their son's penis. That
day turned from a boring, ordinary day in the sun, alone while
others tried out relationships, had sex, to one of the most
memorable of my life. It was, though, an event impossible to
replicate. The sex position is awkward, the boy is different, the
audience is not the same, the vision of that semen as a
spontaneous, divine intervention just isn't there. On reflection,
too, I see the fleeting quality of love and romance. Trying to
recapture the feelings of the day with the penis of another boy, or
even the same boy, is impossible. Perhaps it had something to do
with our age, with our mothers' presence and approval; or maybe it
was just the sexual stimulation and release, and my need for that
at the moment. I shall never know.

I would see that same boy from time to time at our dances and
occasionally in the backyard. Familiarity brought its own reward; I
might tease him a bit more. Once I held his penis firmly and licked
and licked the underside forever until it shook terribly and
ejaculated huge spurts into my mouth. That's a time-consuming tease
I haven't done often, but it's fun. I never partnered with him at a
dance, but that was not intentional. I was quite happy seeing his
penis making love to other girls. Even then I had no illusions that
a wonderful experience of sex and orgasm necessarily held any
promise of a permanent relationship; nor did I want that. Since I
was in charge of organizing many of the dances, my own partner
would usually be someone I saw a lot of, or else some outsider I
targeted and whose penis I wanted to have for myself out of whim
and fancy. Even in the backyard sometimes I took the initiative; I
saw no reason for any boy to make the first approach. if I
particularly admired a boy's penis and if I wanted it for myself, I
knew how to make it erect with just my body language. But, like
Shirley Valentine when she saw Costas Caldes flirting with another
woman, there was no regret and no jealousy on my part in seeing his
penis in another girl's mouth, her mouth dripping with his semen,
his mouth making love to her vagina.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/ShirleyValentine-1018853

On the other hand, if the boy's mother was there I would wonder if
she was keeping score, comparing me, favorably or unfavorably, to
this successor girl. In truth, more than likely she was just doting
on her boy's penis, marveling how it had grown, thinking of her own
adolescence, watching it go in and out, anticipating its
ejaculation. And maybe, if she indeed shared our beliefs, marveling
too at God's presence. Mom's Friend's had a principle that, like
some temporary marriage, a boy and girl should stay together for a
whole day at least. She didn't like girls changing partners, for
example, in the middle of a dance although we sometimes did it
anyway. I'm not sure what Mom's Friend's reasoning was: perhaps it
was to avoid arguments. Perhaps, more philosophically and
theologically, it was to avoid the mixing of different streams of
semen, although I don't see the reasoning there since, even
granting that semen is sacred, we didn't necessarily have sex more
often than once and a couple might, just occasionally, tire of each
other after a few minutes of belabored conversation and then there
might be no sex at all and two frustrated kids. The only way to end
the struggle, in that case, was either to feign headache and go
read a book, leaving the boy to his own devices, or else to grasp
the boy's penis and climb over him with your vagina over his mouth,
ending the conversation. That way we could just enjoy each other's
body and forget the conversation. The latter didn't solve the
problem of subsequent boredom, but I could always abandon the boy
and talk to some unencumbered girl. At most parties that's what
happened a lot of the time post-sex anyway. A second round of sex
would depend on how things had gone the first time.

I have commented before that the kids who lived at Mom's Friend's
House, and the other kids we knew, were by and large good students,
intellectual and talented. (Indeed, Mom's Friend would not tolerate
truancy or poor scholarship, so girls and boys had an incentive to
study, if they liked the lifestyle they enjoyed living or visiting
with her and us.) I have also speculated that part of the answer
lies in the fact that our relationships were direct. Dating and
relationships in the "normal" world are, in truth, terrible time
wasters. We had more sex, but we also had more time to study. And,
although a few of us were talented athletes most of us accepted
Mom's Friend's judgment that except for "lifetime sports", most
notably tennis, swimming and the like, sports talent really
wouldn't lead one anywhere. Once we got to college there would
always be others so much more talented that we'd realize taking the
time away from study and love -- and relating love to athleticism --
was a waste of time, effort and talent. Yes, I had sex with a
stable of boys, but I would not have sex with the members of the
football team, for example. There is a distinct difference between
sex as a matter of intellectual freedom and of theology and of
romance, and sex as a matter of keeping score of real or pretended
celebrities. The issue is not only the (un)likelihood of a
celebrity taking care to bring a girl to orgasm, but that of mutual
respect. As it happens I did not meet the love of my dreams during
my free-love, student days; some others did. And, as I have
written, I've lately latched on to a childhood sweetheart I had,
and in some ways that's even nicer: we have earlier experiences and
dreams to share, as well as our todays and our bodies. I accept
that a girl may choose to be a groupie, and may choose to collect
her trophies of the event, but that denies her own sexuality and
capacity in most cases, I think. Cynthia Albritton, a/k/a Cynthia
Plaster Caster, achieved her own celebrity status as a groupie, of
course.

http://www.cynthiaplastercaster.com

Most importantly, there is a distinction between girls and boys in
sexuality as well as pornography. We all know that it's easy enough
to arouse any boy; but the girl who values herself wants to attract
not just any boy, but her own target boy. For us, at Mom's Friend's
House, boys were, in effect pre-screened, to be "nice" boys; and
since it was a female-centered community, they were sponsored by
their own mothers, or other related female. It goes without saying
that while few mothers took the interest in their son's penises as
the particular one I just wrote about, they all must have had a
relationship of trust, confidence and caring. As it was explained
to me, from the earliest days of changing her son's diapers to the
first sign of penile growth and pubic hair, and the first nocturnal
emission or masturbatory ejaculation, the mothers of sons I knew
would be aware, observant, interested and eager to celebrate. None
were embarrassed to see a son's erection, whether the son was eight
or eighteen years old, indeed to show off a son's erection to her
friends. I wrote of the article in a French newspaper about mothers
of handicapped boys who masturbated them; more than one mother I
spoke to for one of my research projects was proud to confide that
she had subtly introduced her son to masturbation.

http://tinyurl.com/2o54v

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38995

Wealthier families contrived an environment that encouraged the
libertine way of life for their kids: a hot tub or a sauna or an
enclosed swimming pool. What was ostensibly innocent nudism
inevitably led to a pairing off for sex. My story of sex in the
shower at college is a cute story, but it's banal, ordinary: such
events occur every day and we scarcely notice or comment.

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37604

And among family and friends of Mom's Friend such relationships
might begin at whatever age breasts began to arouse boys -- because
no body had occasion to be embarrassed by the resulting erection.
And one girl, perhaps -- like me -- precocious, might take interest
in the penis. As I have written, I liked letting the bull calf out
of the corral, knowing there would be no turning back for him.
Somewhat like that boy I wrote about who sought out girls to
deflower and who, incidentally, would put on a good show at a
defloration party, somehow right away making his Virgin want to
take his penis in her mouth to show her own mother, and his, how
she loved it to bits. It's easier, of course, to make a boy happy;
it was rare for a boy to resist my fondle and my caress of his
penis to make it hard. If I could find a drop of seminal fluid at
the tip of his penis, I knew I had won the game. I would tell him
to stop what he was doing and I would flick it away with my tongue
and taste its loveliness and its promise. For me to make him
ejaculate afterwards in my mouth, and for me to show off his
manliness to his friends and mine, was not some pornographic
display but rather a touching introduction to sensuality, sexuality
and adulthood, or so I thought. My audience was the girl audience,
though; any boys about whose thoughts turned to sex were
incidental, although if I could start a chain reaction so much the
better. My immediate aim, however, was to make a particular boy of
12 or 13 or 14 proud of himself and of his penis, to make him want
to express himself and, indeed, God's will and God's sensuality.
And to share God's communion. I would frequently surprise a boy
whose expectation of himself was limited by the false celebration
of penile size. I've said often enough (paraphrasing, in fact, a
famous and quotable sex worker) that really huge penises are
unwieldy and unsatisfactory in oral love, and sometimes painful in
vaginal love. A boy in early puberty who lacks the confidence --
and therefore, at least the first time, the erection, for vaginal
sex -- will have a total change of personality after his first oral
sex. If ever I wanted, he would bring me to climax with his tongue
against my clitoris: this boy whose mother would have taught him to
admire, love and respect the beauty of a girl's vagina. How
different this culture is from the sexual slavery that supports
female genital mutilation in Africa and the Middle East and denies
women their birthright of orgasm when and where they want it. One
does not need to be part of the subculture that seeks out "cream
pie" images to recognize the beauty of the vagina or mouth seeping
semen, to see that as proof of joy and Godly love. A testimony to
life, to fecundity. A witness to romance. Is it false religion that
has taught so many to despise sexual organs, to revile the vagina
and the penis as "ugly"? If Moses David did nothing else good in
his latterly sordid career, he did teach the beauty of sex, and, by
extension, its parts. One of the nicer things that feminist art has
done for women is to popularize images of the vagina.

http://www.myvag.net/images.shtml

Interestingly but unsurprisingly, adults are less inclined to
exhibit their own sex activity. Mom and the other adults didn't
hide themselves while in the act, but they were far more discreet
than we teens. They were (and are) just naturally less
demonstrative, exhibitionist and, for that matter, frequent, in
having sex. Mom's Friend and Terrific Girl's Dad having sex in the
open was, as I suggested, as much a matter of telling us that
Terrific Girl's Dad had already had his fun. I don't think he was
trying to send Terrific Girl a message of any sort; he had an
erection and an itch and Mom's Friend was there, and then his penis
was inside her, moving in and out. And then there was semen. In a
way, I think, Terrific Girl was proud to be seeing at work the
penis that had created her. Anyway, I saw her standing there, nude,
gazing. Then he and Mom's Friend separated, and they cuddled and
caressed and it made us, I think, more tolerant of middle age, more
respectful of parental sexuality. Especially as Mom's Friend kissed
her partner's penis sweetly, licking it around the tip. Then she
arose and went about her chores; and we returned to reality.
Terrific Girl's dad looked at his daughter, inspected her nakedness
as she inspected his, probably admired her breasts as she admired
his penis; they smiled at each other in a father-daughter way,
indeed the way he would smile at her when he would see her with a
penis in her mouth. It made me wish for a father, to wonder again
who my father was and what he would be thinking of me now, nude and
ready for sex.

As a little girl I saw Mom naked often, in the old house, on the
houseboat and in her own room or in the backyard of Mom's Friend's
House. And I remember seeing her take her boyfriend's penis in her
mouth: she wanted me to know that was how it was done, and for me
to see her delight as her partner brought her to orgasm and his
penis inside and outside of her. But it was something that, once
seen, was understood. I was more interested, if I wanted to see how
bodies worked, in watching the teens having sex in the old house.
And by the time we moved to the houseboat I was having sex myself
often enough, seducing boys (including, as it has turned out, my
present boyfriend). Then, it didn't matter anymore; anyway the
houseboat was so cramped that if Mom and I were both going to have
sex it would have to be side by side, each with our own partner,
minding our own business. That didn't happen very often, although
as I have pointed out in other essays, Mom had no (false) modesty.
In reality, she had a falling out with her boyfriend, who owned the
houseboat, and we left not long after and moved to Mom's Friend's
House, where things were far more structured: for us, sex was
largely reserved to the basement and the backyard. There we kids
saw and we experienced early love. We learned, or were conditioned
to, sexual beauty. I saw the variety of penises (didn't
Cosmopolitan run an insert on that point a few years ago?) and came
to love those that, not to big limp grow strong and round and have
lovely round tips and a cute slit that awards me drops of seminal
fluid when I touched them. I came to love the soft balls that moved
when I touched them and made me feel sexy to be holding them. I
loved it when I held my favorite penis in my hand, took it my
mouth, and other girls watched and smiled. And when my boy
presented me with semen, I enjoyed it and would show it off.
Always, I knew that before or after my boy would kiss me all over
and would love my vagina and think it lovely, a source of joy for
us both and he would make it the focus of his attention, excite me
and make me ecstatic. The pleasure was doubled when others watched.

We girls learned from each other: not just lovemaking skills but
boy-managing skills. The mystery and delight of early love remains,
fortifies, stimulates. It wasn't long after Terrific Girl watched
me bring a boy to ejaculation while he slept that she discovered
her own changing body. How different from those fanatical,
suppressive Muslims who shout that a girl must have her first
period in her husband's house, not her father's!

http://michnews.com/artman/publish/article_2506.shtml

Certainly from the moment I first saw my early breastlets arouse a
boy I knew that it would not be long before I would get really
close to a penis. It should have been a nice affair, with a chosen
boy approved by Mom strutting towards me on my bed, his penis high
and quivering, tremulous, straining. But the human condition is
sometimes frail, isn't it. Seeing Terrific Girl's response to my
stimulation of the boy and my swallowing of his semen, Older Girl
and I took charge of her. Terrific Girl didn't have a special event
of her own either, as it happened; few girls did, and her father
was away at the time. But she had her first sex at a party, with
her best friends about to celebrate her new-found freedom:

"Most memorable of the first-time sex experiences that I saw and
had reason to appreciate -- because I so loved the girl -- was that
of the Terrific Girl on the chaise longue at the swimming pool
party. It was because I so loved her and wanted only the best for
her that the Older Girl and I arranged things so that she would be
at ease, and her boy primed to be solicitous and respectful as well
as loving. I always pressed boys to prepare a girl with his mouth
and his tongue, to bring her close to climax so that his penis in
her vagina would be just the final act, the crescendo of a
magnificent event. By the time the girl would be ready for him, he
would be in a state of high excitement. But regardless of that
boy's prior sexual experience, if I had got to speak to him he
would know that this day belonged to his girl and that she deserved
utmost consideration. Scarcely any girl likes brutal sex, whether
relating to penis in vagina or mouth on vagina. There is no
shortage of Internet guidance on this.

http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/cunnfaq.html

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38266

For us to see a boy's penis, all aroused and excited over the girl
we loved, for us to see it very stiff, hovering over and then
entering her vagina, and for us to see and hear the girl squeal
with delight and fulfillment, not with pain, brought to us the
"meaning of life" that others say escapes them. She and he would
surely show off his semen afterwards with pride; indeed Terrific
Girl kissed and licked her boy's penis afterwards, until it tired
and became soft. From that day on, Terrific Girl wanted to share
her knowledge with other girls as she shared herself with loving
boys. She carried her breastlets, and then her breasts as they
grew, with new meaning and influence. And she enjoyed romance and
sex with an aim not of rampant promiscuity but of seeking, testing,
enjoying and, in the end, finding a compatible mate not based on
some false criteria but on true mental, emotional and physical
compatibility and love. That we do respect such love is clear
enough: among us were lots of paired partners, one or two of whom,
like the young couple still at Mom's Friend's House, who'd been
having sex together from the age of 11 or 12. (Even though I had my
own first sex at 11, I'm not sure that 11 or 12 is the right age;
but then I have to admit that in this and other matters, generally
"mother knows best" her own child. Not that she will always be able
to intervene in a split-second event of defloration, as my
experience shows.) I got the impression that Mom's Friend got the
word to Terrific Girl's Dad while he was still on the road; anyway
from then on he treated her with, I think, a bit more respect and,
perhaps, admiration. He could see her growing breasts and her
sprouting pubic hair: could he tell from looking that she was now
emotionally grown-up and having sex? When he was at home, he still
enjoyed being with her in free nudity, and he certainly showed no
hint of jealousy when she would have sex with him around. He had
wanted this kind of life for his daughter, and he was happy for
her. I wanted to think we could be the same; but then I have often
dreamt of my father's penis inside my mother, creating me. Indeed,
sometimes when I am kissing a boy's penis I am reminded that my
mother did the same, and that for generations back to Adam and Eve
my ancestors have done this too. How lovely! But the images, the
pictures, are in my mind's eye only.

Fortunately we never sought to take pictures except the most
innocent kind, whether clothed or not. I note that European
Convention on Cybercrime has made illegal not the event of underage
sex, which is legal most everywhere at 16 and in many places from
the time of puberty, but its illustration in digital form, where
the participants might seem to be under 18 (or perhaps, in some
places, 16).

http://conventions.coe.int/Treaty/en/Treaties/Html/185.htm

The USA has signed it but hasn't yet ratified it

http://tinyurl.com/2ouax

Still, the treaty's terms are finding their way into law, and
maybe that's just as well if it does in fact protect children from
abuse. But in the US the penalty is 15 years in prison (it was
formerly 10) without much or any leeway on the part of the judge,
which seems disproportionate to sentences for murder and other
atrocities.

http://www.sexcriminals.com/news-archive/info-16661.html

Anyway, as I said, the closest thing any friend of ours has come
to sensual photography is a series of sequential family naturist
photographs, mom and dad and girls and boys, every six months or a
year, recording family history and physical growth, only
incidentally marking the kids' passage through puberty and the cute
development of their breasts, penises, hips. Not much different
from any photograph you might see in Health and Efficiency, the
naturist magazine. I recall the faces of kids with secret, knowing
smiles that are the sign of happy childhood as well as fulfilling
emotional, and, for those post-puberty, sexual, lives. The key is
early learning to share. Sharing toys as toddlers, and sharing
orgasms, and much more, as teens. Seeing such a photo reminded me
of how I have seen sexual happiness develop in kids, seen them
imperceptibly develop emotionally as they develop physically, and
then suddenly announce by word or by deed that they want to claim
their birthright, they are going to have sex. In watching kids over
the years I liked to see if I could guess when that would happen.
One felt, sometimes and in some cases, when one saw a coquettish
girl, of trying to hurry the decision along with encouragement and
admiration for a developing body. With boys it was easy: a shy boy
was bound to be seduced by one of the girls because his sexuality
and the state of his penis, and quite likely an erection, would be
rather obvious to us. One wanted to be encouraging and yet
protective of girls, more easily coerced. It is worth noting that
none of us would ever make fun of a boy's penis, or his naivety, or
his shyness. In that, we shared some of the ethic and protocol of
naturists. But then, we played our share of nude volleyball and the
rest. It wasn't only for and during sex that we enjoyed seeing each
other in the nude. A lot of times kids who lived with us or spent
time with us before and during puberty shared in the games but not
in the sex, except insofar as seeing was learning.

In the matter of sex, and in particular first sex, I decided one
can never really tell when a kid is ready. There were kids who
would have sex before one thought them physically very mature and
others who waited until they were fully mature. I knew at least two
girls who started oral sex before they had their first period.
Mom's Friend "encouraged encouragement", but, as I have said many
times, she forbade coercion. She also forbade sex between kids aged
more than a year, or at most two years, apart. But our kids then,
like virtually all kids today with access to the Internet and
knowledge of peers doing it in school stairwells and out back, saw
oral sex as normal and healthy and fun, as indeed it is. That a
particular kid knows about it doesn't mean she feels up to doing
it, but I suspect that more kids than we knew were having sex,
especially oral sex at least, long before they let us see them at
it. This is true of Mom's Friend's House and it certainly was true
of school. Eventually sexual activity would be obvious; when a girl
is "in play" that fact can't be hidden for long; nor will she want
to. Her secret sex is a brief secret. For girls who lived with us
it would go against the precept of total honesty and openness with
her mother not to confide; but then these were visiting girls who,
I guess, found an opportunity for sex, or found sex thrust on them,
when their mothers sought refuge with us. They hadn't necessarily
grown up in the midst of free love and nudity, much less the
constant appearance of proud erections without embarrassment nor
any attempt at concealment, however perfunctory.

Just as it is difficult or impossible to introduce to nudism a
pubescent teen who has never known the subculture, in general one
had to grow up amidst our common nudity and sexual sharing to fit
in easily, especially at age 12 or 13 but even at older ages. This
is not a hard and fast rule, and I did bring home the odd girl of
17 or 18 from community college and just two from high school, one
of those on a sort of dare. Otherwise only Mom's Friend could be
the judge of character -- character or parent, especially --for
admission to our circle. Those who attended our nude parties were
almost always from similar communities. I never did find out where
the Big Breasted Girl and her boyfriend came from, but they were an
item, a couple. Mom's Friend's concern, after around 1985 anyway,
was health and safety as well as risk of denunciation, perhaps from
jealousy. Because if not grown up to appreciate our mores and our
norms, well I need only quote Shakespeare, that "Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned". The measure of Mom's Friend's success is
that at no time in the years that we lived there was there any
trouble with the authorities. But then, Mom's Friend was always
discreet, and many or most of the women she sheltered came from a
similar Children of God background, but unlike her they weren't
trust-fund brats with a large house. Without her, they had no place
to stay, so even if they were temporary boarders, they were
grateful. And, like Mom, they were probably veterans of flirty
fishing for Moses David; like me, many of theirs were love children
with no idea who their fathers were. Such a mother, who might have
been protective of her son's penis or her daughter's vagina before
was likely to revert to Moses David's "Mo Letter" doctrine of
freedom of childhood sexual expression once she came to see our
lifestyle and our quality of life. More than once I saw pretense
discarded in a heap, mother and daughter or mother and son adapting
to our way of life, having sex within a day or two of arrival. Most
interesting was the development of what I called above the
"mystical attachment" between mother and son. It already existed,
of course, but would have been suppressed. The two of them now
nude, and getting used to each other's nudity, the mother could and
would be forced to address her feelings. Mom's Friend, and my Mom,
knew this and they always alluded to it, especially when they saw a
boy having an erection in his mother's presence. Mom, I think,
never saw a penis she didn't admire, and she was always generous
with praise and comment. Lots of times she would ask me if I was
interested in the boy, and I would take that as an invitation to
approach him, chest pushed out, perhaps touching my vulva
nonchalantly. I have said that I think mutual oral sex is the
ultimate in "class" and if I was trying to impress a boy's mother,
and she had a COG past, that is what I liked to propose, indeed
insist on. With me on top, the boy would have to come to terms with
the totality of my genital area and if he needed advice Mom or one
of the girls would give it. A lot of the time they would just tell
him to take all my soft parts into his mouth, and to be gentle and
suck and kiss. Once of twice I had to stop and give an anatomy
lesson, showing where the clitoris is and what it does. If that
made the boy's mother feel inadequate in her sex education, so be
it. It was usually easy enough to postpone the boy's ejaculation
until I was ready; but if not, by that time he was under my spell
and would have to work at me from below.

The problem, of course, with the 69 position is that it takes
great discipline, especially for a boy, to concentrate on bringing
his partner to orgasm once he feels the onset of his own. But if
the lovers are slender, if the boy's penis is not too big and not
too small, and very stiff, and if the girl's breasts are nice
looking even when hanging down vertically (that's a lot of if's,
I'm afraid), then the sight of mutual oral sex is enthralling and
very sexually arousing. I intentionally do not write much in these
essays about the adults' sexuality and sex, but I have to say that
often enough when parents saw us at mutual oral sex they would pair
off randomly and excitedly to have somewhat more modest sex on
their own. In a community where a boy or a man was supposed to be
proud of his erection, there is a corollary that girls and women
should be pleased to see it. A single mother with that mystical
attachment to her son's penis might not see his erection and his
ejaculation in personal sexual terms, but almost certainly will do
so when a partner, or potential partner, appears beside her with an
erection she can legitimately embrace, kiss and bring to
ejaculation just as her daughter has done. When I seduced a boy in
front of his mother like that it was for this very reason as much a
test of the mother as of the boy: I was being provocative. Also, if
the boy was young it was a way of taking charge of the boy and his
penis before he reached an age and a maturity where he would take
control of himself and be careless and thoughtless. I wanted his
semen on my terms, and I wanted him to know that, and his mother as
well. And I wanted him to gain good habits for the future, to be a
good lover and husband and father, to understand me, his mother,
the mother of his children and all his daughters: and to respect
our sexuality and our birthrights. I wanted the boy to see the
vagina as a thing of beauty, and I wanted him to know that his
future sexual success depended upon his accepting it as such. In my
experience, the younger a boy starts sexual activity the more
likely he is genuinely to love girls as a gender rather than as sex
objects, and their sex parts for what they are and for their
inherent loveliness.

Seduction is scarcely a rare skill; one only needs to be
observant. If I approached a boy and he became increasingly tense
as my breasts entered his "personal space" I knew I could control
his emotions. It was easy enough to ask some innocent question, and
if he dared stare at my breasts, then his penis belonged to me: if
an approach and an embrace didn't stiffen it, a caress and a lick
might. Repeated kisses and licks and caresses would seduce even the
most naive penis in due course. And once that penis ejaculated into
me, the boy was mine for as long as I wanted. Invariably on the
next try he would have gained confidence and his penis would be
ramrod stiff. Not every girl was as much a predator as perhaps I
was, but Older Girl, Terrific Girl and I, and later on 17-year-old
Happy Girl, just to mention four, brought seduction (as we thought)
to a high art. Virginity held no value to us, our point was that
every boy should be awakened sexually as soon as reasonably
prudent. I wanted to see every young boy realize the potential of
his penis in a grand way, early and often. Indeed, I wanted to
compare it, mentally, in its stages as it grew and as it spurted
greater and greater quantities of semen. I wanted him to be one of
us, and to be part of a loving group that made love: one at a time,
yet together. A loving group but, I have to admit, no less catty:
("how sweet" or "what a jerk", depending on a boy's thoughtfulness,
skill and intellect). A fine penis does not compensate for
arrogance or stupidity, as I found in due course with the Sixteen
Year Old Boy, the ex-boyfriend I wrote about who's now a
refrigeration engineer.

Still, girls, too, play their games. I recall a picnic we had in
the backyard at Mom's Friend's picnic table. Three other girls and
I (Older Girl, Terrific Girl and another friend) vowed to keep our
partners in a state of erection throughout the lunch, to give them
pain without release until after we'd finished the picnic. And so
it was: we were all nude, and it was a matter of regular fondling
by each of us of our date for the day, all the while hoping he
wouldn't explode in ejaculation onto the table. Then, as at other
times, Mom's Friend's refrain rang in our ears: "biggest is not
bestest, thou shalt not have a contest of penile size". Her point
is that the "bestest" is the boy who gives you the most consistent,
most intense, orgasm and who, incidentally, offers a reliable
erection; and for most girls (more than 50%) the only sure way to
orgasm is for the boy to kiss and lick her clitoris and vaginal
area long enough to bring her to the brink of orgasm, prior to
putting his penis in her vagina. Anyway, I think of that whenever
my e-mail mailbox fills up with spam on the subject. (I remember,
however, a sex education class where the teacher/lecturer made that
argument -- minus the part about oral sex -- only to have some jock
in the back row shout out, "No! Only a BIG penis does the job
right!" I think I must have smirked at that, since I had more
experience in the subject than anybody. I kept silent; Mom always
told me to play the part of a religious girl, that this would keep
our family safe, and she was right.) Anyway, it's a good thing I
don't give sex advice because I would rate as "inadequate" any boy
who doesn't (1) follow Mae West's advice, about liking a "Guy What
Takes His Time" ("a hurry up affair, I always give the air...")

http://ubl.artistdirect.com/store/artist/album/0,,300122,00.html

(2) doesn't think first of my orgasm and (3) doesn't think my
vagina is as beautiful as I think his penis is. On the other hand,
a boy who meets those norms, and who makes me feel good, and who is
witty and thoughtful and respectful of my body, soul and mind
always gained my heart, too, at least for the day. And enhanced his
reputation among my friends, some of whom would probably have seen
us exchanging bodily fluids and might want to come to know him
better.

Guys have to remember that sex is a two-way street. Young
adolescent girls (as I have explained above) have the freedom to
experiment during a period of relatively carefree sexuality. Most
older girls will reject -- not always, but as a general rule --
even the nicest penis if it doesn't offer some sort of promise for
the future as well as a certain orgasm now. In a word, a penis has
to have style, just as the boy has to have character.

I have no regrets nor any reason to have any. Surely I am not the
only person who undresses in my mind's eye interesting and handsome
men and boys just as, presumably, they are undressing me in theirs.

Love, Carol

----------------------

NOTES

In previous essays I have provided references to many of the
incidents I describe, to show how they factually exist in
subcultures throughout America. When I show these essays to my
girlfriends today, some express surprise and suspect invention and
exaggeration. But these points, among others, are documented:

-- The links between sex and religion (obvious in mainstream
religions' laws about sex), including the use of sex as sacrament
(marriage, in religion, is often a proxy for defloration) and the
practice of circumcision (and its connection with sexuality,
women's preferences and religious law), scarcely need to be
remarked upon.

-- I've discussed in earlier essays the religious aspects of
virginity, puberty and oral sex and how many of Mom's Friend's
views are today mainstream and can be documented as such. The main
difference is that Mom's Friend operated a boarding house for other
former cult members, abused single mothers, and vacationers trying
out an open lifestyle, and certain relationships and practices
flowed naturally from that.

-- Household nudity is extremely common. It has occasionally been
associated with incest, child abuse and even murder, e.g., the
notorious Fred and Rosemary West case ("25 Cromwell St.") in
Gloucester, England. Parental sex in front of the children is also
common and almost never prosecuted. (But see:

http://www.caller2.com/texas98/texas20599.html

("What this couple calls sex education, police call aggravated
sexual assault. A mother and her boyfriend of 11 years told police
they were educating her teen-age son and two daughters when they
had sex in front of the children and the boyfriend groped the two
girls, police say.") I suspect the arrests had more to do with the
alleged "groping" than the demonstration.

-- Couples having sex in parallel, each couple's arousal building
on the others' yet each couple independently having sex, much as we
did at our dances and parties, is almost too common to mention.
When I was in college, we always shared double and triple rooms to
save money, and, no surprise, this was scarcely an obstacle to our
having sex: indeed it guaranteed that we would, each with our
partner. This is, of course, a more generalized version of the
brother and sister watching each other make love, with the
participants being friends rather than family.

-- I don't dwell on the issue of STDs and protection, except to
say that this became a matter of importance to each of us once we
began to find our partners outside the closed circle of Mom's
Friend's House and related families and groups. I have mentioned
the issue only often enough to make it clear we were cared for and
watched in this respect. The issue has become more serious in
recent years: indeed it led, in part, to the demise of the former
structure of the Children of God and certainly to the end of flirty
fishing. At that point, to preserve the principle of free oral sex
as precursor of vaginal sex, two points were emphasized: oral sex
is, in fact, less risky than vaginal sex (although far from free of
risk), and an absolutely closed circle of partners is the only
means, short of abstinence, to foreclose risk. This is one reason
why parents had to be closely involved in their children's sex lives.

-- My experiences involved educated, intellectual professionals. I
include within that category women like my Mom who had been
recruited out of college into the Children of God. But for their
abandonment of family and education, they would have been firmly in
the middle class. Few prosecutions for sexual abuse (or, more
commonly, neglect) of children occur in that stratum with the
exception of divorce/custody fights where the allegation is part of
the strategy. I found 9 state-court appeal cases since 1999 in a
search for "sex in front of the children" on the free legal
database at

http://www.lexisone.com

Absent incest, violence or physical abuse, the issue simply does
not come before the courts; and the criminal cases seem involve
mostly the uneducated and the unemployed and often mention drugs,
guns and assaults.

-- Teenage fascination with penises and erections and oral sex is
hardly news; the proliferation of Web sites is testimony to that.
Multiple couples having sex in the same room is so common as not to
merit surprise. Neither is the constant changing of partners within
a closed community and the start of sexual activity immediately at
puberty, the essence of a few of the 60s communes' way of life.
Defloration parties arranged by girlfriends are not unusual, even
at age 13. Journals of abnormal sexuality ignore these because they
are not deemed sufficiently "abnormal". Attempting a general Web
search is fruitless because the predominance of pornography.
Parental homophobia and encouraging children to engage in
heterosexual intercourse at puberty is not politically correct to
study, but is known everywhere.

-- I have referred in earlier essays to published accounts of
former Children of God members who engaged in "flirty fishing" and
described the 60s cults. Such books can be found in libraries and
at amazon.com, including especially Miriam Williams, "Heaven's
Harlots"

http://www.allreaders.com/Topics/Info_22165.asp

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38266

-- Other points that have been raised are addressed in this essay,
specifically the matter of penis and vagina as beautiful anatomy
and objects of art, and the history of plaster casting (something I
tried myself once, because Mom had told me about an article by
Ellen Sander, "The Case of the Cock-Sure Groupies" published in The
Realist (in an earlier essay I had attributed it to Rolling Stone
magazine)).

http://www.ellensander.com/buybooksrock.html

-- Girls' fascination with penises from the earliest age needs no
comment. Whether mainstream girls view penises as beautiful or not,
it's clear that most girls from puberty on want to meet and make
friends with penises. Competitive oral sex, with several girls
showing off to each other how well they can perform for the group
with their boy's penis is a common fun sport. My only reservation
is the concern that the girls be assured their orgasms in turn. As
for showing off, as my essay suggests the most impressive display
requires a love of semen and an ability to gather the semen on your
tongue and spread it around the head of the penis for the others to
see, and then to suck the semen in and swallow it happily and with
love. I mention above the importance of viscosity and quantity for
this to work right. A girl who hesitates or who loses control, and
winds up with semen all over her and her friends seated nearby,
will not impress anybody with her performance. Another aspect of
such competitions among teenage girls is to see how many
ejaculations she can manage with her boy during the session. That
isn't something we tried, and I would like to think the reason is
that we were more concerned with quality than quantity.

-- However different the reader's impressions or experiences may
be, I can attest that a surprising number of mothers are supportive
of their daughters' oral sex exploits, perhaps (and not
incorrectly) thinking that skill at oral sex will greatly enhance
her marriage prospects. Numerous mothers brought their kids, girls
and boys, to Mom's Friend's House with that in mind. Brothers and
sisters might have giggled at seeing each other giving and
receiving orgasms (although usually they did not) but there was a
serious motive behind their learning curve: ultimately to improve
their station in life. Few outside mothers, I think, shared Mom's
Friend's religious justification for early sex. Whereas she and Mom
saw holiness in oral sex on a penis, it's my impression that
outside mothers were more clinical in their observations,
interested mainly about their daughters' improved future prospects.
But perhaps I'm being overly cynical, and certainly their daughters
joined us in the fun and excitement and, once aware of their
potential for orgasm had a changed outlook towards relationships
and what they would expect from boys.

-- On the above point, the sophisticated reader may recognize two
things: Karl Marx accused organized religion of trying to keep "the
workers in submission and ignorance", which is another way of
saying that it tries (as the Catholic Church admittedly says, using
this very term of art) that one should accept without question
one's "station in life". I wonder what Joe McCarthy would have said
about Horatio Alger and, indeed, most Americans, who have
ambitions: are they in some way closet Marxists? And is the very-
American attempt to suppress sex while at the same time
commercializing it some kind of new, synthesized religion? If so, I
prefer Mom's Friend's more honest theology: God made sex for us to
enjoy, early and often. Those who would suppress our natural needs
and keep us from holy communion are agents of the Anti-Christ
(that's not her word for it, it's mine).

-- Girls' fascination with penises is nothing compared to boys'
obsession and insecurity. The proffer by a pushy mother of her son
with the loose scrotum and hanging balls reflects a real subculture
where boys and men attach weights to their testicles to lengthen
their scrotums and present a more impressive appearance,
irrespective of ambient temperature, etc. A search of Yahoo groups
(and the Wall Street Journal archives, of all places) will reveal
all kinds of issues relating to circumcision, including attempts to
reverse the process (well, that was tried too by some, with greater
or lesser success, during the Holocaust, and I think it was
mentioned in the film Europa, Europa (Hitlerjunge Salomon)). See
also:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ForeskinRestoration/

which discusses as well scrotum stretching. Here, the distinction
has to be made between cosmetic (and mildly public-health positive)
male circumcision and the abusive, oppressive and gender-hating
female genital mutilation. See, e.g.,

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexytobeCircumcised/

(also discussing clitoral hood removal).

For the rest: these essays are based on my childhood diaries.
Those diaries recorded, in abbreviated form, what I did and what
thought about people. They recorded less well what others did with
each other. For much of that, I extrapolated and devised to make
these essays readable. They are, anyway, fair accounts of what I
saw and felt. In general, these kids grew up well and sane and, for
the most part, joined mainstream America. To my mind, the only
unusual thing about their past is that it was recorded here. I
maintain that the removal of shackles from children's expression of
their sexuality at whatever age it manifests itself is normal: it
is social restraint and punishment that harms and creates "psycho-
sexual abnormality" leading, sometimes, to inadequacy, sexual
violence, incest and more.




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