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From: "Gil Gamesh" <gil04gamesh@cox.net>
NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 08 Apr 2004 13:42:45 EDT
Subject: {ASSM} The Measure of Man, Chapter 09
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Date: Thu,  8 Apr 2004 22:10:03 -0400
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The Measure of Man is a story of love and sex in the lives of a husband, a
wife, and their three children. The story spans almost four decades in their
lives and tells of their love for each other and for individuals outside the
primary family. The sexual acts described vary greatly but all are within
the realm of those practiced by normal human beings. The Measure of Man is
an epic adventure and will be told in approximately forty chapters.
Twenty-five chapters (1,449 KB) have been completed. Additional chapters
will be published at no specific schedule.

Codes: MF FF mf Mf mF MM Mult fant rom 1st teen cons het group voy safe oral
anal pett lac preg

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Gil_Gamesh/www/

Feedback is always welcomed. Use your scissors on my e-mail address to send
comments, criticisms, or requests to:

gil04gameshcutthisout@cox.net



THE MEASURE OF MAN

An Epic by Gil Gamesh

09 - First Loves

As for you, Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and
night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice. Let
your clothes be fresh, bathe yourself in water, cherish the
little child that holds your hand, and make your wife happy in
your embrace; for this too is the measure of man.

<><><>


CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Kieran Stuart, 28 in story
Sioned Stuart, 27 in story, 15 in flashback with Jacob Paul, 16
Sioned Stuart, 27 in story, 16 in flashback with James Boyd, 18
Sioned Stuart, 27 in story, 18 in flashback with Grant Knight, 19
Kavan Stuart, 21 months
Arial Stuart, 3 months

TELLING THE STORIES:
Kieran and Sioned Stuart

(KIERAN)

I left Sioned playing with Kavan in our bed and took Arial for
her bath. She usually loved playing in the warm water, splashing
me all over, cooing and smiling. But tonight she was a little
fussy, intermittently crying and then suddenly laughing. I knew
it was because she was hungry for her nighttime feeding.

I carried her back in the bedroom wrapped in a towel, a naked
bundle of beauty, trying to stuff her hands in her mouth to find
something to suck on. I finished drying her and then tried to
brush her sparse spun-gold hair. She was having none of it. She
was crying by the time I had her diaper and nightgown on.

Sioned unhooked the nursing bra and let her full heavy breasts
spill out. I loved watching her uncover herself for Arial. Our
daughter was clamoring for her turn at Sioned's breasts and I
hoped she'd leave at least a sample for Kavan and then for me.
Sioned cradled Arial against her left breast and pulled the
nursing bra back over the right one. I knew she sometimes had a
small overflow in one while Arial was nursing on the other. Arial
latched onto the strawberry nipple and began to suck hungrily. I
watched for a minute and then held out my hand to Kavan.

He slid off the end of the end of the bed and grabbed my finger.
I led him into the bathroom and we showered together. He and I
always had a squealing good time playing. I washed his hair, that
beautiful red hair his mother had given him, with baby shampoo.
He was an unruly squirming brat when I washed the rest of him
until I came to his penis. I gently checked his little sprout for
any problems since his foreskin wasn't retractable yet. He always
stood still and watched when I did that, occasionally getting a
little stiffie.

I led him back in the bedroom and helped him up on the bed. He
knew the routine and stayed still while I finished drying him. I
put a diaper on him, hoping that Sioned was right when she said
she thought he was getting the idea of potty training. I pulled
his nightgown over his head, brushed his hair, turned him loose
toward his mother. He crawled over toward her and sat down,
Indian fashion, to watch Arial nurse.

I combed my hair, brushed my teeth, and then crawled in bed with
my wife and kids. I was glad I was permitted to go without
nightgown or diaper. I sat down, Indian fashion, beside Kavan and
we watched Arial nurse. Sioned switched her over to the other
breast and Arial squawked in the brief instant when she was
deprived of a nipple. She resumed noisily sucking on the other
strawberry.

A few minutes later, Arial slowed down, gradually stopped, and
her mouth lost its grip on Sioned's nipple. I knew she was good
for the night, at least most of it, I hoped, so I carried her to
her bed. When I returned, Kavan had taken Arial's place. Sioned
was talking to him as he played with her breasts. He occasionally
put his mouth on her teat and gave a desultory suck. I stretched
out behind him and we both caressed him and talked with him and
gradually quieted him into sleep. I carried him to his bed,
knowing that he'd probably sleep for his usual nine or ten hours.
I gave my usual big sigh when I returned to our bed and my wife.

I lay on my side, my face in front of her breasts, and pulled her
against me. "I think they're both dry tonight. Arial was hungry."
I nodded and took her strawberry nipple in my mouth, simply
holding it between my lips, while I caressed her side with my
hand. After a minute or so, I moved up to lie face to face with
her. I kissed her simply, just on the lips, and lay looking into
her eyes. "Is this paradise?" I asked. "Close enough for me," she
answered.

"You said you'd tell me a story this weekend. About some of your
earliest loves. First loves. The kind we all feel so foolish
about. The kind we wonder how we could have been so stupid as to
believe it was really love."

<><><>

(SIONED)

I was fifteen when I met my first love. Ha! I was too stupid to
know. Love? I didn't have a clue. My parents had rented a beach
house with Mom's brother and sister and their kids. I think there
were 6 adults and about 10 kids. I was the oldest girl there.
During the first week, I started to wish I wasn't there. All I
was doing was a lot of babysitting. That all changed the next
weekend when a family came to the beach house next door. They had
two children, a boy and a girl. The girl was just there on
weekends. The boy turned out to be the same age as I was.

<><><>

He was sitting on the beach late one evening, just as the sun was
going down. He had on shorts and a too-big T-shirt with a floppy
hat. I saw him from the deck of our house.  I was tired of having
to deal with the young kids and not having anybody my own age to
talk to.

I put on clean shorts and knit shirt and walked down to where he
was sitting. He seemed lost in thought, looking out to the
horizon. I suppose he saw me out of the side of his vision
because he stood up, looked at me, and said "Hello."

I answered by saying hello, telling him my name, and then saying,
"But everybody is calling me See now. About all I've done this
last week is baby sit. When anybody needed a baby sitter, they
say "See Sioned". Now, they just say "See See."

"It sounds like fun," he answered. "My sister thinks she's too
old to do anything with me since she's got a boyfriend. My
parents are always too busy working on their business to relax
even at the beach house. I'd like to have somebody to do
something with, even if it's babysitting. And my name's Jake,
short for Jacob. Jacob Paul. Talk about messing up names. When I
have a new teacher, they always try to call on Paul Jacobs."

"Come help me tomorrow morning, Jake," I said. "The kids get an
hour at the beach in the morning, another in the afternoon. They
want me to watch them in the morning tomorrow. I'm free the rest
of the day."

"OK, See," he answered, "I'll be there tomorrow."

And that's how my first love started. We sat on the beach and
talked until it was dark and I thought I've better go in. He
helped me with the little kids the next day and we both had fun.
I took a nap after lunch, worn out from playing in the surf with
the kids. Woke up in time to help fix dinner. I kept looking out
to see if he'd come out again. Finally, just before sunset, I saw
him sitting on the beach again, wearing about the same outfit.

When I walked up behind him this time, I noticed that he had his
head on his arms, sort of hidden, and I thought I heard him
sniffing or something. I wondered if he was crying and stood
still a minute. He had stopped sniffing but his head was still
down. I deliberately made a noise so he'd know I was there.

He looked up at me and said hello and I could see tears in his
eyes and his face was a little red. I plopped down beside him and
neither of us said anything for a while.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked. "It sounded like you were
crying."

"Naah," he said, "I guess I just got something in my nose. It's
nothing."

"I'm glad you're here. It's nice to have someone else my age to
talk to. Why won't you talk to me and tell me what's really
wrong? I told you I was unhappy yesterday. You came over and
helped me enjoy the morning."

"This is sorta guy stuff," he answered. "I don't think you'd
understand it."

"I've got lots of guy friends, not boyfriends, just guys who are
friends. We talk about most everything. I'll bet whatever's
bothering you's nothing I haven't heard about before. Besides,
I've got a little brother; he's a coupl'a years younger than me.
He tells me all about boy stuff and I tell him about girl stuff."

He looked me directly in my eyes, holding the look for a couple
of minutes, before he finally said, "It's about the way some of
the guys treat me. I'm not much good in sports and they say I
look too much like a girl. Some of them keep saying I'm a queer -
a faggot. It hurts."

"Yeah, boys and girls in school can be mean. They like to put
down people and call'em names like that. My red hair has got me
called all sort'sa names and some of them aren't nice ones."

"Why do they do it?" Jake asked. "How the hell am I supposed to
know what I am, gay or straight?  I've never done anything with
anybody else."

"Well, you are cute. But I don't think you look like a girl. You
look like a boy who's just growing up to me. Why do they think
you're gay?"

"I can't talk to you about it."

"Why not? My brother and I talk about stuff like this all the
time. He tells me what's happening with him, how he's always
getting a boner, as he calls it. I made him tell me what he does
about it. He said he beats the hell out of it but he never can
make it behave."

"Yeah, that's the way I am too," he volunteered. "I can't make it
behave. It happened once in the showers at school when a bunch of
us guys were showering. I think that's when they started calling
me a queer. But I've seen some of the other guys pop a boner in
the shower and nobody called them gay. I suppose it was because
they were sports jocks."

"Why don't you just ask yourself whether you're gay or straight?"
I suggested. "I'll bet you could answer the question if you
thought about how you really feel. Nobody else's opinion really
matters, does it?"

"It's not that simple," Jake said. "I see guys in the shower all
the time and I check'em out. I think I'm mainly just comparin'em
with me to see if I'm....developing like they are. I may get a
boner in the shower once in a while but I even get'em in classes.
If a guy can get one in our History class, he can't be gay. I've
see magazines with pictures of naked women and I always get hard.
But I see pictures of naked men and I get hard from them too.
Shit, I can even get hard from walking down the street and
looking at a fireplug and thinking that it looks like a woman
with big boobs."

"OK, Jake," I said. Let me ask you a couple of questions and
maybe we can figure it out together. But you've got to answer
truthfully."

"OK, I'll try," he answered.

"Well, do you like to look at me?" I asked. "When I had on my
bikini this morning, how did you react? Did I cause you any hard
problems?"

"Yeah, why do you think I spent so much time in the water? Why do
you think I wore those baggy trunks?"

"Well, I think that's probably normal for guys your age, isn't
it?" I said. "I've got one more question and then I think we'd
better change the subject for tonight. I'd like to go for a walk
on the beach with you."

"You sure it's your last one. This is kind'a embarrassing."

"I'm sure. Now, tell me, have you got a boner now from looking at
me and talking to me about this stuff?"

"Yeah, I have, "he answered, "and I'd love to go for a walk with
you. But I can't right now."

"Oh, yeah," I said, loudly. I grabbed his hands and pulled him
down into the water with me. The breaking waves were small ones
but the water was a little cool. I pulled him out into the
waist-deep water before I released his hands. I noticed he had a
nice tent in the front of his baggies when I pulled him up. I
began to splash him and he started doing the same to me. We kept
it up until we were both drenched.

"Can we go for a walk now?" I asked, holding out my hand to him.

"Yeah," he said, with a grin, and he took my hand as we waded out
of the water and held it until we came back from our walk.

"Thanks for a nice evening, Jake," I said. "Think of me tonight
and I'll think of you."

"You mean when I'm....you're going to do it too, thinking of me?"

"Yeah, I am," I said. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
He broke into a big grin and I left him standing there like that.

<><><>

The next morning, he came over to help me with the kids again. We
played on the beach and in the surf again and I noticed that he
did spend a good bit of time in the water. We heard thunder
rumble out in the gulf and we knew we had to get off the beach.
We took all the kids to the recreation room on the beach floor of
our house and played games with them until noon. I invited him to
have lunch with us and he seemed very happy to accept.

After lunch, he said he had to go back to check in with his
parents and that he'd see me on the beach later this evening. I
read a book most of the afternoon, except when I was interrupted
with thoughts about what he'd look like without those baggy
trunks on.

I went out about seven that evening, hoping he'd come out early.
I had hardly got to the beach in front of their house when I saw
him come running out. When he came to a stop in front of me, he
held out his hand and I took it.

"I'm glad you came out early. I was hoping we could go for a
longer walk," he gushed. "My parents said it was OK with them if
I was in before nine. What about your parents?"

"After lunch, both of my parents mentioned you. Dad said you
seemed like a very nice boy and that he was glad I'd met someone
my own age. Mom said she thought you were really cute."

That made him blush and so we were quiet for a while, just
walking on the beach, holding hands. We walked east until the
light began to fade and then started back. It was dark when we
got back to our beach house. We stood for a few minutes in the
dark almost under our house, both my hands in his.

"Thanks for a wonderful day," he finally said. "Can
I...uuh...uhh...kiss you goodnight?"

"No," I said, and then waited a little bit until I saw the smile
leave his face. "Because I'm going to kiss you."

I pulled him toward me and saw his face break out in a huge grin
again. He met me half way and dropped his grin long enough to
press his lips against mine.

When he stepped back, I asked, "Jake, is that the way you really
want to kiss me?"

"No, no," he stammered, "I just didn't think you'd want....do you
mean a real sort of kiss?"

"Jake," I said, "let's try again. Take your time and let's see
what happens. OK?"

This time, he put his hands on each side of my face and lowered
his face a couple of inches down to mine. At first his lips just
pressed on mine but then I felt his tongue snake out and I opened
my mouth to his. He stepped closer to me and I put my hands on
his waist and pulled him up against me. I dropped my hands down
to his buns and held him tightly against me. He ground his pelvis
against me while he kissed me like a man, not like a boy. I could
feel another boner pressing against me. I don't know about him
but I was hot and flushed and wanting more of something. My heart
was beating almost uncontrollably. I'm glad Jake finally stopped
to stand back, looking me in the eyes, grinning all over his
face.

"Jake, I've got to go in," I said. "But answer me one question
first. Do you really think you're a queer?"

He gave me that big infectious grin again before he said quietly
but with self-assurance, "No, I don't think I am. I think I like
girls. Damn, that's not enough. I love girls."

"Jake," I whispered just before I went up the steps, "you sure
didn't feel gay to me."

<><><>

You know how it went after that. Every time we went for a walk,
we went a little farther and further. We were quickly drowning in
kisses and slobbering all over each other. He started rubbing his
crotch against me so I could feel how hard he was. Then he slid
his hand up under my bikini top and I pulled it up so both
breasts were free. First time, he just felt them up with his
hands. Next time, he went straight for them and started sucking
like an expert. He tried to get his hand in my bikini bottom but
I stopped him. The next time, he pulled my hand down to his
crotch and pressed it against his cock. I didn't stop him that
time. After that, he pulled me down in the sand, both of still in
swim suits, spread my legs and pressed his hard-on against my
pussy. I think that's when I thought for the first time that I
loved him. His next step was to dry hump me until he came. I
think that embarrassed him; I was just irritated.

Things came to a head after that. We were standing on the beach
in the dark, kissing and groping and dry fucking each other. He
must have decided he'd had enough dry and wanted to go for the
wet. He pulled his baggies down and stepped out of them. Before I
knew what he was doing, he pulled my bikini down between my legs.
When he grabbed me by my naked ass cheeks and pulled me against
him, I knew I was in love with him. He humped against my stomach
and then stuck it between my legs. My cunt was wet and open
enough so that it slid back and forth easily. I could feel the
head getting closer and closer to my opening when he groaned and
shot off again. I felt the hot glop running down my legs and
almost panicked. I ran out in the surf to wash it off and then
couldn't find my bikini bottom when I came back on the beach. I
panicked again. I was crying when I finally found it.

A few days later he invited me to come over to their beach house
for the first time. He told me to come by 3pm because there was a
movie he wanted to watch. He said he was sure it was one I'd
enjoy. I went to the back of the house, to the sliding doors on
their deck. The doors were open to the breeze, the screen closed.
I looked inside and didn't see anybody home. I called his name
and thought I heard him say, "Come on in." I slid back the screen
and went in but still didn't see anybody. I heard him say, "Back
here." I went down the short hallway and found him.

He was naked on his bed. His cock was erect. He was slowly
stroking it. Again he asked me to come on in. I stood in the
door, mesmerized by the sight of his testicles hanging down and
his erect penis standing up. Again, he tried to get me to come in
his room. I shook my head in refusal. His hand started moving
faster and I watched. I could see the muscles in his hips and
legs tensing. He erupted in a series of white fountains that fell
back on his stomach. He lay there with half-closed eyes looking
at me. I looked as the puddle of semen on his stomach. I was
scared to death. I left the same way I had come.

The beach and bedroom experiences cooled me off for a few days. I
was scared of him but couldn't think of anything else. I saw him
sitting on the beach for a couple of days but I couldn't make
myself go to him. When I met him on the third day, he said not
one word about what happened either time. We went for a walk and
then we were back at it, getting closer and closer to something
we were both desperate to have and scared to death of doing. I
told him we couldn't because I could get pregnant. He said he'd
take it out before he came. I was smart enough not to believe
that. I told him to get some protection. He asked me what sort of
protection. I couldn't believe he was that dumb. "Rubbers,
stupid, you know the kind that unroll over your dick and keep you
from getting a girl pregnant." "Oh, you mean that kind. Why can't
you get something?"

I think love sort of died with that but teen-age lust was still
very much alive. He talked me into jacking him off and I loved to
hear him groan when he came. I saw it fly out of his cock once or
twice when we were close enough to the lights of a beach house. I
thought that was pretty damn hot.

But he never seemed to know that I was going back to our beach
house and then using two or three fingers to cool off my cunt so
I could sleep. I let him get his fingers in me but he never
seemed to know I had a clitoris. I figured he wouldn't know what
to do with it if he couldn't find it.

We were still arguing about the need for protection one night
when he let something slip out that made me back up in disbelief.

"Damn, See, my sister takes care of protection when I do her. Why
can't you?"

"YOU'RE FUCKING YOUR SISTER?"

"No, no, no, See. I meant she takes care of it when she fucks her
boyfriend."

"Yeah," I sneered, "but you said she took care of it when YOU did
her. What's did her? If you're not fucking her, what the shit
does that mean?"

He made his second, fatal mistake. "Well, goddamit, you're a
cocktease. If she let's me fuck her on weekends, what's it to
you? At least it keeps my blue balls under control."

"Jake, you're a goddam lying bastard. You're not a queer and you
know it. You're not a virgin. If you're lying about that to me,
what else are you lying about? Who else have you fucked?"

"Ok, Miss Virginal Slut. I've screwed two girls in my class. They
both loved it. What's wrong with you?"

I was crying by then. "There's nothing wrong with me, Jake, you
asshole. I was just stupid to believe that I could love a lying
piece of shit like you." I took a couple of deep breaths and
tried to calm down. "But you've taught me a real lesson, Jake. At
least I didn't let you fuck me. And you sure as hell never will."
I turned around and went back to our beach house. I made sure I
never saw him again. They left the beach house at the end of the
month and renters moved in.

<><><>

 (KIERAN)

I asked Sioned to come to bed with me early, just as soon as
Kavan and Arial were put down for the night. I showered and was
drying off when she came in the bathroom. I brushed my teeth,
combed my hair, and stood watching through the glass while she
showered. When she finished, I had two towels waiting, one for
her hair, and one for the rest of her. When she was dry, I asked
her to sit down on the toilet. I tried to comb her hair, my dick
only inches from her face. Even her breath on it was enough to
cause it to begin to engorge.

"The other afternoon when I was taking care of the kids and you
were baking the apple pies, do you remember what I said?"

"Something about how I smelled, like apples and cinnamon and
nutmeg."

"That's not all I said. I said I'd like to eat you. I've been
thinking about that every day since. There's half an apple pie
left."

She looked up at me and smiled. "Make up your mind. Which do you
want to eat - me or apple pie?"

"Both," I said. "I want you first. I want to bury my face in your
cunt. I want to lick you and lick you until I can't taste or
smell anything but cunt. I want to chew on your cunt lips. I want
to fuck your cunt with my tongue. I want to suck your clit and
tongue it until you come."

"Sounds like you've got cunt on the brain tonight. When do you
want apple pie - before of after?"

"After. After you come at least once, maybe more. When you tell
me to stop, I'm going to cut the apple pie in two pieces. I'm
going to put some sharp cheddar cheese on top. I'm going to warm
that in the microwave. Then I'm going to put a big scoop of
vanilla ice cream on top of that. And we're going to eat your
pie. And I'm going to taste cunt, apple pie, cheddar cheese, and
vanilla ice cream. Damn, I couldn't get any more American than
that."

"OK, except for one thing."

"What?"

"Leave the cheddar cheese off mine. I don't need the calories.
Especially since I'm gonna get a load of calories when I suck you
off."

<><><>

Afterward, we snuggled up close to each other in bed. I still
loved to feel her naked ass pressed against me but it just wasn't
quite the same when I tried to hold her breast and felt the
nursing bra she had to wear, even to bed.

"Kieran," Sioned said, "some day we're going to have to teach our
kids about sex. When Kavan's 17 and Arial's 16, would you tell
them what we just did?"

I had to think about that for a minute or two.

"There're some things we've already agreed on. Like raising them
in a nudist or naturist home. I want them to grow up without
shame about their bodies. We can't be ashamed of ours then, can
we?"

"No, but seeing us naked and seeing us before and after apple pie
are quite different."

"My father and mother didn't hide from me and my sister and
brother when they wanted to grope each other. I've seen my Dad
holding my Mom from behind with his hands on her breasts lots of
times. They had clothes on but the three of us kids didn't see
anything wrong with it. We were glad to see them. Would it be so
different if our kids  - who are used to seeing us naked - saw me
holding you with my hands on your naked breasts? Of both of us
holding each other with our hands on each other's naked butts?"

"I don't see anything wrong with that. But do you want them to
see us in bed, with me riding on you? How'd it look for them to
see your balls hanging down, your cock in my cunt, my asshole
exposed? How'd they like to see that?"

"I don't know. I would. Can we get a mirror?"

"What are you going to teach Kavan about masturbation? What am I
going to teach Arial? They're going to do it, you know, whether
we talk to them about it or not."

"I wish, I wi...Shit, I don't know."

"What?"

"I'd like to teach them that it's perfectly natural. It's nothing
for them to be ashamed about. I wish they could feel that it's
not something they have to hide."

"Did your father or mother ever catch you doing it?"

"No, my father talked to me about it. I knew it was OK to do. We
had a rule that if any of us shut the bedroom door, we wanted
privacy. We shouldn't be disturbed. It worked fine for my parents
and for us kids."

"You were still hiding it. Do you think we could raise them so
that they wouldn't worry too much if the door were shut? If you
walked in and Kavan was jacking off, he'd just smile at you and
keep on doing it. Maybe even let you watch."

"It's hard for me to picture that little baby girl in there
masturbating when I walk in and then her letting me watch."

"Kieran, I'd love to raise them like that. I'd love to raise them
so that they could both get in bed with us when they're naked.
Maybe even sleep with us once in a while. I love to have you and
Kavan and Arial in bed with me now. Would it be wrong to let them
be that close when they're 11 and 12?"

"I don't think we'd have too big a problem then. But when they're
14 and 15, what then?"

She was silent for a while then. I didn't know where we were
going with this. I wanted so much to be open and honest with my
wife and kids about everything. But was this going too far?

"I know one thing," she said. "I'm not going to hide anything
from them and I'm not going to be ashamed of anything we do."

"Agreed," I said. "Now let's get some sleep. We'll talk about
this some more another night.  And tomorrow night you've got to
tell me another story about your second love.

"Second hell, the first one was a total shit head. He was no
love."

"Well, was the next one a real love?"

"Quit poking me with that thing, Kieran. Go to sleep. I'll tell
you about him tomorrow night."

<><><>

 (SIONED)

James helped me achieve non-virgin status. I was a sophomore in
high school and he was a senior. I don't suppose I'd ever noticed
him at school.

I was volunteering every other Saturday at the children's
hospital. Candy striper. Gofer. Babysitter. Whatever they needed.
I was having lunch in the hospital cafeteria. He walked up,
holding his tray, and stood quietly until I looked up.

"Hi, we go to the same high school. May I sit with you?"

I knew he was intelligent. He knew the difference between can and
may. I didn't remember ever seeing him.

"I'm James Boyd. James Darlington Boyd. Now you know the worst
thing about me, my middle name. My friends call me James. I'm a
senior."

"I'm Sioned Kelly. I know - you've never heard that name before.
It's Irish. Supposed to be but you can't prove it by me. My
friends call me Sioned - not See or Sion or whatever - Sioned."

"With your hair and complexion, I thought you were Italian."

"Wise guy. You've got dark hair. What're you?"

"Mongrel. Heinz 57. Who knows? Mom's side's mostly French."

"What do you do here?"

"I'm a volunteer. I work in different areas where they're doing
tests on the kids. I'm a professional hand holder."

I must have looked at him strangely.

"I do whatever I can to help the kids so they're not afraid. I
talk to them, hold their hand, try to make them feel better when
they're hurting and crying. I clean them up when they puke. I
started probably like you did, just general gofer and flunkie.
Somebody noticed I had a knack for getting along with all the
little kids. That's all I do now. I want to try to find a career
working with kids."

"Don't try to make it sound like nothing. You love it because you
love them, don't you?"

"Yes," he whispered, "It hurts so goddam much to see them
suffering. I just want to do something to make it better."

I put my hand on his. "Me too."

<><><>

And that's how it all started. When the hospital had a party one
Saturday night for the volunteers, he invited me. He rang the
doorbell, asked if he could meet my parents, talked with them,
and promised to have me back by midnight. Not only intelligent
but also good manners. Is that the beginning of love?

On another Saturday, he was at the hospital all day. It was my
off day. About eight p.m., he called and asked if he could come
by the house, that he needed to see me.

When I opened the door, he didn't say a word. He wrapped his arms
around me and buried his face in my neck and hair. I put one hand
behind his head and stroked his neck. He seemed upset about
something. I heard my mother walk past in the hall, pause for a
moment, and then continue. I took James to my room and we talked
until almost eleven.

When I let him out the front door, I walked into the family room
where I knew my mother was waiting. She didn't ask me any
questions, just raised one eyebrow.

"Two of the kids he's been working with died this week. One was a
little boy who had a bone cancer in his leg that spread. James
had taken him out on the hospital lawn and played catch with him
a few times. The other was a young girl, thirteen. She had
leukemia. James would sit and talk to her and they'd hold hands.
He said once she pulled his hand up under her gown and held it on
her breasts. She looked at him with those big eyes, no eyelashes
or eyebrows, with a sort of pleading look. He said he almost lost
it. She died today."

My mother gave me the same sort of long hug that I'd given James.

<><><>

We gradually became friends and then good friends and then more
than just friends.

We rearranged our volunteer schedules to the same dates and then
hung out together for the rest of the day. He told me his mother
and father were divorced. His father was living in another city.
His mother was remarried. He'd moved into a garage apartment with
a guy who worked as a nurse at the hospital. Some nights we had
fast food on the way home. Other nights he ate with me at home.
We'd usually talk or study.

One Saturday night he was bringing me home late. We had our usual
big hug at the front door. But this time, he moved his face to
mine and kissed me. We were both to blame. By the time we broke,
we were both out of breath from kissing and desperate from
clutching at each other.

The next Saturday night, my parents left us alone while they went
to a party. I suppose they thought they could trust James. They
didn't know they couldn't trust me. Within an hour after they
left, I had stripped him naked and shoved him back on the couch.
He lay there, one hand curled around on his head, the other on
his cock, his balls hanging down like two eggs in a kid-skin bag,
a smile on his face that said he knew what he was about to get. I
almost ripped my panties, getting them caught on one foot and
dancing around trying to get them off. When I did, I crawled on
top of him. He buried his face in my breasts and sucked my tits
until I could feel the juices running out of my cunt. Then he
shoved me back and buried his face between my legs with a hunger
I've only known once since. I came two or three times. I sucked
him off for a minute and then used my hand to bring him to
orgasm. His groan could have awakened anyone asleep in the house.
He sprayed come over both of us and on the couch. When my parents
came back, we were dressed and sitting side by side, his arm
around my shoulders, supposedly watching TV. The next day my
mother asked my why the leather cleaner bottle was sitting on the
kitchen counter.

<><><>

The following Saturday, I almost lied to my mother. I started to
tell her I'd be at the hospital with James. At the last second, I
looked her in the eye and told her where I'd be.

"Mom, I'll be at James' apartment this afternoon and evening,
I'll be back by midnight. By then, James and I'll be lovers."

"Are you sure?" is all she said. "This is your choice? It's what
you want?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm sixteen. As they say, sweet sixteen and never been
kissed. Well, I've been kissed; I'm ready for more. I'll tell you
all about it tomorrow, OK?"

James came to the door to pick me up just before noon. He wanted
to talk to my mother and father. I told him my father was
traveling but my mother was home. He went in the family room
where she was sitting. He reached down for her hand and held it.

"Mrs. Kelly, Sioned and I've decided to do something we both
want. I'm eighteen; she's sixteen. I can't take her to my
apartment without your permission. I'm not going to cause any
problems for anyone. If you tell me to get out, I will. If you
permit me to take Sioned with me, I will. She won't be a little
girl when she comes back."

Mom looked at both of us, tears in her eyes. I reached out for
James' other hand and held it. Mom nodded and smiled at us. "Just
be careful, you two. Last time you cleaned it off the couch but
you didn't get the spot on the wall."

<><><>

James insisted on taking me out to lunch, even though the only
thing I wanted to eat was him. Afterward we drove down by the
lake, parked and talked. I wondered how he could delay and why he
wasn't in a hurry.

"Are you sure, Sioned? I haven't even said I love you. I won't
say I don't. I don't know yet. I know what love is. I see it at
the hospital all the time with parents and children. I feel it
when I give it to the children and get it back in return. With
you, I don't know what I'm feeling yet. I know it's something
I've never felt before; maybe I've dreamed about it. Are we in
too big a hurry? I'll wait if you want to. I'm not going to quit
with you if we don't do it this afternoon."

"How do you think I feel, James? I'm not ready to say I love you,
either, like in the forever sense. I know I've got a lot to learn
about love. I'm ready for you to help me. Let's go to your
apartment."

"I was hoping you'd say that. I changed the sheets this morning."

<><><>

The apartment was a tiny one on top of a garage. The big house it
belonged to was an old mansion, split up into apartments. We had
to climb steps to get to the landing outside the apartment. There
was a screen door and the other door was open. I could hear music
playing inside.

James introduced me to his roommate, Trent, an older guy who was
a nurse at the hospital. He was already dressed in his hospital
whites about to go to work. He was maybe mid-twenties or later,
very nice but ordinary looking,

"James has been talking my ear off about you. I think he's
smitten."

"Smitten?" I said.

"Well, you are as beautiful as he's said. James and I are good
friends and we talk about everything. When he started talking
about you, it was different."

"Oh, how different?"

"Come now, Sioned. He doesn't tell me everything. Don't worry
about that. He's a fine young man. Just the way he talked about
you."

Just the way Trent talked made me wonder how different he was.
"Your apartment is very nice. Would you call it spacious with an
enchanting view?

"Yeah," James said, "it's spacious. Maybe four hundred square
feet including bathroom. The view is great if you like looking
down on the tops of all the cars parked in the yard."

"I'm only joking, James. I like your use of Early Goodwill
Antiques. That big iron bed must have cost a fortune. And the
little one that doubles as a couch, it's darling. You've brought
it all together with pillows, haven't you?"

They both understood that I was laughing with them, not at them.

"The pillows were James' idea. We keep the place clean because
we're both neat-freaks but it still looked like crap, if you'll
pardon my French. James thought it up and we went out one
Saturday morning and spent almost a hundred dollars we didn't
have on pillows. Average cost is less than one dollar. If you
can't find anything else to do in here, you can always rearrange
the pillows."

"Trent, don't you have to go to work?" James asked.

"Oh, don't be impatient, James. One more thing and I'm out the
door." He looked at me and sighed. "Sioned, I'm not prying but I
think you and James might be too busy to cook. I've left a
casserole in the fridge for you two. And there's a bottle of
wine. Cost me almost five dollars. I hope you two have a pleasant
afternoon and evening. I'll be back about midnight."

After he was gone, I looked at James and raised one eyebrow in
question.

"Yeah, I know. He does give that impression, doesn't he? But he's
one of the greatest guys I've ever known. We both have to
struggle with money and this is about the best place we can
afford. You may not believe it but he sometimes brings another
nurse home with him. More than one in fact but only one at a time
--- and they're all women. I don't try to figure it out. I just
try to make myself scarce. James tells me what time to come back
and I just go to the library and study. When I come back, the
place is as neat as always. Trent's usually happy and whistling
or singing but he never says a word about the woman."

"Why don't you ask him to let you stay? You could find out how
two nurses...you know?"

"He...let's don't talk about that, Sioned. I thought you wanted
to find out what sort of nurse or whatever I might be someday."

"I do, James, but I'm a little nervous about this. Can't you
tell?"

He looked at me for a minute or so, evidently thinking.

"Sioned, are you a virgin?"

"Yeah, damnit, I was hoping to get that taken care of this
afternoon. You wanna go play frisbie in the park instead?"

"Come on, Sioned, don't worry so much. I'm not a virgin but I'm
not that experienced either. One thing I do know is that it can
be a lot of fun. I love to play. I'll play frisbie if that's what
you want. Or I'll play lover, if that's what you want. But, damn,
it should be fun whichever one it is."

"Fun, well, OK, maybe it is. But I'm still nervous."

"Can I tell you a dirty joke when you're about to come. I hear it
heightens orgasms if you're laughing when you come."

"James, you don't mean that."

"Yeah, but I don't guess I'll be able to think of a good joke
when we're," he raised his voice, "WRAPPED IN THE THROES OF
PASSION."

I laughed in spite of myself. "James, would you carry me into
your bedroom and make mad passionate love to me?"

<><><>

"Potty break," Kieran said, "I've got to go pee. Do you want to
finish this story tonight or wait `til another night?"

"If you'll let me pee first, I'll finish it tonight for you."

<><><>

James was as patient and considerate as any lover could be. He
and I gradually stripped each other of clothes, one piece at a
time. He took my hand and led me to the big bed. He was probably
as good a kisser as you are. Didn't hurry past my breasts to get
to the good part. Got his head between my legs and his tongue in
my cunt. Knew where my clit was and what to do to it. Gave me
sort of rolling orgasms, like a roller coaster, up one peak and
down and then up another peak. I was drenched when he finally got
on top of me and started to put his dick in me. He was slow, so
damn maddeningly slow, until he found out that I still had a
hymen. And then he slapped me.

"Slapped you?" Kieran questioned.

"Yeah, on my left cheek, kinda hard too, it hurt a little."

"I've never heard of that little technique. What the fuck was
that supposed to accomplish?"

He knew what he was doing. I started to hit him back but he held
my wrists. I looked up at his face and he was smiling. It took me
a moment to realize - his cock was totally inside me and his
balls were up against my ass cheeks. And it hadn't hurt in the
least.

"My father was very good at pulling my baby teeth," he said.

I looked at him, totally puzzled about what he'd just said and
what he'd just done.

"Whenever I'd get a loose baby tooth, my father always pulled it.
Never hurt me. He knew just how to do it. He'd ask if he could
look at it first. Then he'd ask if he could wiggle it to see how
loose it was. Then he'd lie and say he wasn't going to pull it
yet. He was just going to get a tissue or napkin and see if it
was ready to come out."

"James, are you nuts? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Then he'd pop me on the forehead with the heel of his other
hand. I'd jerk my head back and he'd just smile at me. The tooth
would be pulled and I never knew when it came out. Never hurt
me."

He smiled at me.

I realized what he had done. Never hurt me.

"Can we just stay like this for a while?  It feels so good to me
to be inside you. Am I hurting you?"

"No, James, you're not hurting me. It feels good. I guess I never
dreamed how good it could feel. You may stay."

"Are you sure you've had enough time for your birth control pills
to get working? If you're afraid of me coming inside you, I'll
put on a condom."

"I read everything Mom's gynecologist gave me. I should be as
safe as I'm ever going to be."

"Good. Wrap your legs around me then. Later, when you feel like
it, pull them up toward your shoulders and see if you like it
that way. And wrap your arms around me. Or put your hands on my
ass. I've seen your fingernails and they're a little long. Don't
sink'em in my ass cheeks unless you want me to come. Close your
eyes and let me kiss you. Are you ready to begin?"

I was ready. And later I was ready again. And well before
midnight, I was ready again. Never hurt me.

<><><>

At least not that night. I was sore on Sunday morning. When my
family went out to lunch, I caught myself sitting on just one
hip. Mom saw me and smiled at me.

The next time, it wasn't sore. A little uncomfortable at first
but soon comfortable. And always since.

<><><>

"Well, what happened to James? I don't think either girls or boys
should marry their first love. But there must have been
something, wasn't there?"

"That's enough about James. I've told you enough. Let's go to
sleep."

"There's gotta be just a little more. Tell me the rest and I'll
go down on you and give you a roller coaster ride."

<><><>

When I climbed the stairs to the apartment landing, I noticed
that the main door was open, screen door closed. I looked in and
could see James sleeping in the big bed. Trent was already
dressed in his nursing whites. He was sitting on the foot of the
bed tying his shoes. I suppose the scene of domestic tranquility
left me puzzled. I watched through the screen door as Trent stood
up and walked around to the side of the bed where James was. He
leaned over and kissed James on the mouth.

I distinctly heard Trent say, "Get up, sleepyhead, she'll be here
soon. You need to get a shower." James reached up and held
Trent's head while he prolonged the kiss.

Trent turned toward the screen door and saw me. He came out and
greeted me with a quick kiss on the cheek. "Gotta run. Department
meeting at nine. Make him get up, will you?" He turned and yelled
back into the apartment. "James, get up, Sioned's here." And then
ran down the stairs.

I opened the screen door and went in. The apartment was
immaculate as usual. The small bed was undisturbed. The big one
showed clear signs of use by two bodies.

James stood up beside the bed, stretching and scratching. His
cock was half distended and his hair was sticking out in all
directions. He smiled at me. "Lemme get a shower, Sioned. I'll be
ready in fifteen minutes."

I sat down on the end of the bed, looking at the sheets. James
went in the bathroom, left the door slightly ajar, and I could
hear him, pee, shower, and hum while he shaved. When he came out,
towel wrapped around his middle, I watched as he dug out
underwear and socks.

"James, were you and Trent sleeping together?"

He looked at me, still smiling. "Yes, Sioned. We sleep together
sometimes, more than we sleep separate."

"Are you lovers?"

He pondered that for a moment, smiling. "No, we're not in love
with each other. We like each other a lot. I told you he's been a
very good friend to me."

"You know what I mean," I insisted. "When you sleep together, do
you have sex with each other?"

"Sure, Sioned. We have sex. Does that bother you?"

"Damn it, James, you know what I mean. Are you and Trent gay?
What do you do with each other?"

"Sioned, it's not that simple. I don't think Trent's gay. He
likes women. He just doesn't have a woman lover right now."

"And you like women too?"

"Sure, I haven't been faking orgasms with you, you know. I love
women in general. I think I'm even starting to love one in
particular. I fully expect to marry one someday and have children
with her."

"But you sleep with Trent and have sex with him too? Do you two
fuck each other too?"

"No, Sioned," he laughed, "we don't fuck each other. I know gays
are supposedly either tops or bottoms. I'm not either. My
asshole's still virgin. I don't know whether Trent is or not. But
I haven't had my dick in his butt. Is that what's bothering you?"

"Then what the hell do you two do with each other?"

"The same things you and I do, Sioned. We kiss each other just
like you and I do. I give him a hand-job or a blow-job. He does
the same thing for me."

"James, don't talk about it like that. Why haven't you told me
about doing it with him?"

"I didn't think it was that important, Sioned. I haven't tried to
hide anything. You've been around us. I thought you could see
what our relationship is. Does it bother you?"

"It makes me confused as hell. Especially about you and me."

"Sioned, Trent and I are very good friends. We're not in love
with each other. We don't fuck each other. We sleep together and
we have sex once in a while. Most of the time we just sleep
together. I like it when he curls up against my back and puts his
arm around me. I like to do the same with him. Does that make us
queer? I don't think so."

"Well, it sure as hell makes me confused."

"OK, you're confused. Lemme get dressed and let's go shopping. We
can discuss all this later today."

<><><>

Later that day, we had a sexual Olympiad. About six hours of all
sorts of games - shot put to broad jump, equestrian maneuvers to
breast stroke, javelin throw to pole vault, we tried'em all.
Equestrian maneuvers? Horseback riding, gallop, gallop.

The next Saturday, we planned the same schedule. Trent  lingered
longer before going to work. He dropped a few hints that he'd
like to join us in our fun and games. I gave it serious
consideration for the rest of the day.

On Monday, in Advanced English Comp, some sort of reality check
occurred. On Thursday, I called James and told him I wanted to
cancel our Saturday schedule. When he asked why, I told him that
my panties usually got wetter as the week got closer to Saturday;
this week, my panties had stayed dry all week. He asked if that
meant what he thought it meant. I said I thought it did.

<><><>

(KIERAN)

As soon as Kavan and Arial were put to bed for the night, Sioned
took my hand and led me into our bedroom and on into our
bathroom. Perhaps there's a fine line between loving acts and
sexual acts. When she scrubbed my back with the rough sponge, I
closed my eyes and leaned against the shower wall. It was pure
sensual pleasure, an act of love from the woman I loved, but not
sexual. My cock didn't lift even an inch in the warmth of the
shower.

She turned me around and rubbed my chest the same way, almost
hard enough to tear what little chest hair I had out of my pores.
My cock hung down, complacent, not involved.  When she moved down
below the Mason/Dixon line, my navel, John Thomas noticed. He
tried to raise his head to see what she was up to. By the time he
got his head up, his cyclopean eye was covered. He had to endure
the rest in darkness.

I took her to bed still dripping wet, impatient to love her the
way I wanted. She wrapped her towel around her wet hair and
opened her legs to me. Her thighs were beginning to develop a
very faint stubble but they were still smooth against my cheeks.
The area between her legs where she shaved was also smooth and my
tongue found only one or two stiff thorns to impede me. The
neatly-trimmed red mat on her mound crushed under my forehead and
nose as I sought out her opening.

She smelled of soap  - flowers and herbs - and of woman - musk
and pheromones. She tasted like some strange fruit that could
never be shipped from the tropical earth where it grew. I let all
of my consciousness slip away except for the senses at play in
the fields of the goddess. In short, I licked her cunt and sucked
her clit until she came, hard and groaning.

Afterward, she permitted me to comb out her hair, use the hair
dryer, and then blow it dry. I wondered how many times I'd done
this, an act of pure love, in the years I'd known her.

"We were talking about how we're going to raise our kids," Sioned
said, picking up a conversation that had not ended nights before.

"Well, we did decide a few things, didn't we?  We're going to
keep on being nudists, naturists, whatever. Just no clothes when
that's comfortable. We're going to keep on sleeping that way when
we want to. We'll let them do the same, if that's what they want.
We'll let them crawl in bed with us once in a while, maybe even
sleep with us. What else?"

"It's the What Else that we've got to think carefully about,"
Sioned said. "We both agree we're going to be totally honest and
open with them in talking about sex, no matter what the topic.
And when they get to puberty and hormones start flowing, we're
going to teach them that's nothing to be ashamed about."

"It's more than just teaching them an attitude about it. I've
jerked off as long as I can remember. I don't think I'd have any
trouble talking to Kavan and maybe even talking to Arial. Maybe I
could show Kavan, who knows? If I walked in on him pulling his
pud, I don't think it'd be a problem for me. Maybe after he got
used to it, not for him. But, Arial, that's scary. Can't picture
her at thirteen watching me jack off when I'm forty."

"How many different ways can you talk about masturbating without
saying that word once? You just did it three different ways."

"Honey, that's just the beginning of the good ways us guys
describe it. But whattaya think, in about twelve years, should I
let my little girl watch me jack off or should she have to watch
some stranger, some little neighborhood kid?"

"Kieran, I hope she can watch the neighborhood kid, and her
brother, and maybe even her father, if he can still get it up."

"Sioned," I hit her with a pillow, "you're going to get it for
that."

She did. Twice. Once more that night and then a quickie in the
shower the next morning.

<><><>

 (SIONED)

It wasn't really his fault. I was waiting behind another car. I
didn't know he was behind me. On the green signal, the car in
front of me started to go through the intersection. An idiot ran
the red light and the guy in front of me stomped on his brakes. I
stepped on mine and stopped inches from his back bumper. The guy
in back of me was a split second slow in stepping on his. His car
gently tapped my back bumper. All the other cars drove away.
Grant and I got out of our cars and were left looking at each
other.

He started apologizing profusely. I held my finger in front of my
lips, got back in my car, and drove into the parking area of a
hamburger joint nearby. He followed me. We talked. We looked for
bumper damage and couldn't find any on either car. He bought me a
burger and fries for lunch.

"You have the most beautiful red hair I've ever seen," he said
between fries.

"How do you know?" I teased. "You haven't seen all of it."

I think he blushed. "When I can think again, would you go out
with me sometime soon?"

"Yes."

<><><>

 I was sitting with a group of girls in the school cafeteria,
talking about, what else, men and boys, when Grant walked up. He
was holding a small package, wrapped as a present.

"Hello, Sioned. May I sit down for a second?"

"Please, Grant, sit," I said, and then introduced him to the
open-mouthed gawking girls across the table.

"I brought you a present, to say thanks for being so nice to me
when I bumped your car yesterday."

"You didn't hurt anything, Grant. I couldn't even find your dent
in all the others on the bumper. You don't have to give me a
present."

"I know that. But it's something I wanted to do. Please don't
open it until tonight. And don't tell your friends what the
present is."

"'Thanks, Grant, it's very nice of you.

After he left, I almost had a riot on my hands, trying to explain
how I'd met Grant. And trying to prevent my friends from taking
the package away and opening it then and there.

As soon as dinner was finished at home that night, I went to my
room with the excuse of studying. I unwrapped the package and
found a small black box inside. When I opened the box, I found
red wrapping enclosing something. When I opened the wrapping, I
found a beautiful pair of panties. Nothing cheap like
Frederick's. Nothing sexy like Victoria's. Just a single pair of
expensive beautiful black panties. There was a small card under
the panties. On it, I saw one word written, "Stendhal".   I
dredged my memory banks and it finally came to me. A book we had
read from in French class. "Le Rouge et le Noir," by Stendhal. I
guessed he had taken the class from the same teacher.

The next day, I was having lunch with the same girls when Grant
walked up to the table again. "Stendhal?" he said. "Stendhal!" I
replied. He sat down and placed his hand on mine. "Sioned, would
you go with me to the free movie on Saturday night? They're
showing a classic French film."

After he left, the other girls almost started a riot. "Shit,
Sioned, how do you always get the hunks?" "Come on, Sioned, let
us in on the secret. What's this Stendhal stuff?" I just smiled
enigmatically. I didn't put the black on the red again until
Saturday evening just before Grant picked me up for the movie.

<><><>

"Did he slap you too, the first time he made love to you?"

"No, but he opened my eyes. He wanted me to do something the
first time, all the time, every time. No one else has always
wanted to make love that way. Not even you, Kieran."

"OK, you've got me hooked. Just what was this great erotic
technique? The one the rest of us dummies don't know."

"Kieran, it wasn't like that. It was something simple, like so
much about him. He was always very kind and considerate. I always
felt he wanted me to enjoy sex as much as he did, maybe even
more."

"Yeah, but what was it?"

"A secret for lovers, huh, is that what you want? I told you he
wasn't like that. I liked kissing him as much as I like kissing
you. He didn't make it seem like he was gulping down an appetizer
in order to get to the main course. He was fun to kiss, hot as
hell, but fun. It may be natural for us to close our eyes when
we're kissing; he liked to keep his open."

"That's not kinky; I like to do that too sometimes."

 "He loved my breasts the same way you do. I liked it when he'd
let me hold his head and guide his mouth around. He liked to keep
his eyes open when we did that. Sometimes he'd look up at me and
I'd see a grin in his eyes - is that possible? - and then he'd
start sucking or licking again."

"What'd he do when he got down between your legs? Put his
eyeballs out on stalks, like some sort of marine creature, and
then look at your face while he ate you?"

"Don't, Kieran. He did something like that. But he wasn't some
sort of marine creature. He'd make sure I had a pillow under my
head. So I could look down at what he was doing. He'd get his
face down between my legs. He'd lock his eyes on mine and keep
them there while his tongue worked his magic. He loved to love me
like that, the same way you do."

"Then why can't you tell me what this little technique was, what
he did when he was sliding his dick into you?"

"Kieran, I've been telling you. He liked to look in my eyes when
we were making love."

"Huh?"

"That's it. What I've been telling you all along. He liked to
love me with eyes wide open."

"I'll be damned."

"I hope not, Kieran. The first time we really made love, we were
in my bedroom at home. My father was working and my mother was
out for the afternoon. She made sure Grant knew she wouldn't be
back before five o'clock, almost as though she was setting a
deadline for us to be finished."

"And then you did it, huh?"

"Yes, after an hour or two of fooling around. After he peeled my
wet panties off me, my beautiful Stendhal black on red panties.
After he undressed for me, slowly, smiling, teasing. I'd already
known his cock for a few weeks by then. But when he undressed, he
got down to his briefs and then held them with his thumbs,
letting me get a good look at his bulge and his wet spot. When he
pulled them down, his cock sprung back up and slapped against his
stomach. He knew how to put on a good show.

"And then you did it, huh?"

"Kieran, damn it. Shut up. I'm telling this tale, not you."

"Yes, Mommie."

"Yes, we did it. He crawled up the end of my bed, pushing my legs
apart. He got in position, reached down and rubbed that big red
head between my red-hair covered lips. AND WE DID IT," I yelled.

"Aw shit, Sioned, that's not fair. What the fuck was the big
secret? Is that really it? Just keeping his eyes open?"

"Kieran, he rubbed his glans between my lips until it was all wet
from me. I was waiting for him, eyes shut, to slide it in. When
he didn't, I opened my eyes and looked up at him."

"Sioned," he said, "don't close your eyes. Leave them open. Look
in my eyes. I want to see your eyes when I go into you for the
first time - notice, he didn't say fuck you for the first time -
and I want you to look into my eyes. I want to see if I can tell
what you're feeling; I want you to see what I'm feeling. I hope
when I die, I can still remember your eyes when I go into you."

"And when you die, will you still remember his?" Kieran asked.

"You're my Alpha male now, Kieran. I hope no other man ever
replaces you in my heart and in my body. But you don't have to
say snide things like that about him. He was a good man, a
wonderful lover. I just didn't learn to love him the way I've
learned to love you. But try to imagine how I felt. He had his
dick just barely inside my lips. He didn't shove it in. He
waited. He wanted me to open my eyes. He wanted to look in my
eyes when he put it in. He didn't need to look down at his dick
to see it sliding in. He wanted to see it, but in my eyes. That's
a damn sexy technique, Kieran."

"I'm sorry, Sioned. You're right. You don't say bad things about
the women I've known. I shouldn't do it either."

"Anyway, Kieran, that was the first time I've ever made love with
eyes wide open all the way through. And don't ever think it
wasn't one damn hot experience. Grant didn't get in any hurry. He
stayed propped up above me, his arms straight, while he just slid
his cock in and out, looking in my eyes every second. I watched
his face change and I knew he was close to coming. He gave me
just a little enigmatic smile and kept at it. He didn't say, `I'm
coming,' or stuff like that. He just nodded once at me, his
rhythmic movements became erratic, and then he pushed it in to
the hilt, just like you do, and I could feel his contractions.
When he was finished, he lowered himself on top of me, buried his
face in my hair, and held me."

"I didn't push him to do anything else. I've told you sometimes
I'm content not to come, as long as I know you have. I just like
holding you, with your dick inside me, feeling it gradually go
soft and eventually slide out."

"I suppose he did what he wanted to do, just like you. When he
pulled it out, he moved down on the bed, on his knees between my
legs. He put his hands under my buttocks and lifted me up so he
could bend over and put his mouth on my cunt. He squirmed around
until he found a position where he could get his mouth between my
legs and he could look into my eyes at the same time. It is a
damned erotic technique. You know it. You've done it often
enough. Look at a woman's face, into her eyes, when you're eating
her pussy. You can make me come every time. He could too."

<><><>

"How long was he good for?" Kieran asked.

"He was good for as long as it lasted. I guess that's the problem
with a love affair that lasts for a while. Sooner or later you
start to think about it. Grant was always everything a woman
could want, tall, dark and handsome, hung and horny, slow and
gentle and considerate. Opened car doors for me. Walked on the
traffic side of the sidewalk with me. Learned to listen to my
mother, hug her and kiss her on the cheek, and then go ahead and
do just what he wanted to do. I suppose my mistake was thinking
too much about him and what sort of man he was and where we might
be going with each other."

"Looks like an uh, oh, is in order then, is it?" Kieran asked.

"Yes, little ones at first. Watching football on a weeknight was
no problem, drinking a six pack was. Going out with the boys was
no problem, coming back and telling me about smoking pot was.
Missing a test at school and lying to the teacher about it was.
Lying to me about why he missed a date was a big problem."

"Who broke it off, you or him?"

"Me, I suppose. I think he knew his behavior was causing big
problems. Maybe he deliberately made sure I knew about his bad
side so I'd kiss him off. Maybe he was ready to move on to
another girl. He could tell her she had the most beautiful blonde
hair he'd ever seen. And the slut would fall for it."

<><><>

(SIONED)

The four of us bathed together again. Kavan clearly loved to be
naked, wet, playing in the shower with us. Arial, even at the
early age of three months, clearly became excited when we
stripped her diaper off, held her in our arms, and took her into
the shower with us. Bathing them was no chore, no fight; it was
play, it was fun. Some nights they got their hair shampooed. Some
nights they got a good scrubbing. Every night, we had fun with
each other, laughing and giggling until we judged that they were
ready for bed.

Kieran took Arial to put her diaper and nightgown on her. I took
Kavan. When I tried to put his diaper on him, he resisted. I
understood what he was saying, though probably no one else would
have. He wanted to sleep naked. How do you convince a little boy
that he can't sleep naked until he's learned to pee pee in the
potty?

Kieran brought Arial in for her nightly bedtime feeding. I
enjoyed once more the feeling of her little mouth sucking on my
nipple. There seemed to be some thing of a direct connection
between her mouth, my nipple and my vagina. I could feel the
gradual moistening between my legs as she sucked. Kavan enjoyed
the show again. His dad did too.

When Kavan and Arial were finally down for the night, Kieran came
back to the bedroom with me. He was holding something behind his
back. He had a devilish smile on his face.

"Oh, shit, Kieran, what're you up to now?"

He held a dark-brown plastic bottle in front of himself.
Hershey's Chocolate Syrup.

"Chocolate milk?"

"Kieran Stuart, you're sick. Do you understand? You're one sick
puppy."

He looked at me with a hangdog look in his eyes - a begging
beagle puppy.

"I don't give a fuck if I am, Sioned. If I want to put Chocolate
Syrup on your breasts, even if you're lactating, if I want to
suck on'em, what's wrong with it?"

"There's nothing wrong with it, Kieran. I'm only teasing. I guess
I'll never understand your fascination with my breasts. I do love
you for it though, along with other things. But I want a good
old-fashioned fuck before we go to sleep. "

He straddled my stomach, all seriousness now, and no smiles. He
turned the bottle upside down and squeezed a thin cold trickle,
random brown strings, over my breasts. For a moment, he sat
astride me, his cock erect before he finished his chocolate
painting, the bare head nudging up just between my breasts. He
gave me another fiendish grin and squeezed more chocolate between
my breasts and over the head of his dick. He handed the bottle to
me, moved up closer to my head, pressed my breasts together, and
sandwiched his hard cock between them. He looked me in the eyes
and then began fucking me between my breasts.

I watched in fascination for a minute or so and then decided to
join in the game. I craned my neck upward and brought my face as
far toward my breasts as I could. When the chocolate-covered head
of his dick emerged from between my chocolate-covered breasts, I
tried to lick the chocolate off. He shifted his position slightly
to make it possible, in fact, to make it happen.

"I'm sucking your chocolate lolly, pop," I whispered. He groaned.


A few minute later, he finished licking the last of the chocolate
off my breasts. I sucked his cock clean down to the hairline. We
went to the bathroom for warm wash clothes and towels to clean up
the last little bit.

Back in the bed, Kieran spread my legs and lowered his face to my
flaming bush, making sure to keep his eyes locked on mine. I
almost laughed when he had trouble finding his way through my
pubic hair to my clitoris. When he found it, I couldn't laugh. I
knew I was already wet and open and receptive. Kieran soon
learned it too.

On top of me, he adopted the position I had told him Grant used.
He was supported well above me, arms stiff, eyes locked on mine.
I reached down to his cock, made sure the foreskin was retracted,
and rubbed the head up and down in my wetness. He gradually began
to slide it into me, never taking his eyes off mine. I almost
cried in my gratitude for finally having found the right man.

I knew I couldn't last. I had been over stimulated by two babies,
my new one and my old one. It was just too damn good when he slid
his big cock all the way into me until my cunt was filled to
capacity. I tightened my hip and leg muscles, clenched my
internal muscles, and went off in a groaning series of
contractions. Kieran's eyes were smiling into mine all the while.
He interpreted my orgasm as permission to go for his own. He
started pounding me, faster and faster. Finally his face twisted
into an expression of pain and pleasure, he groaned something
unintelligible, and his contractions started pulsing inside me.

<><><>

A half hour or so later, we were still holding each other. We
were in that quiet stage halfway between wakefulness and
sleeping.

"Sioned," Kieran said, "I don't care if I'm sick. I don't give a
shit what anybody else calls us. I know one thing. One of these
days, Kavan'll be a teen, with hair on his balls and a dick
that's more than a good handful. Arial'll be a princess with
pointy little tits and a blonde little patch of hair over her
pussy. I'm going to get a couple of bottles of Hershey's
Chocolate Syrup. I'm going to invite them to join us. We'll put
it on Kavan's dick - and mine - and let you and Arial lick it
off. We'll put it on your tits - and Arial's - and Kavan and I'll
lick them clean. We'll even pour it on your clit and let it drip
down to your cunt- and Arial's - and Kavan and I'll lick it off
and suck it out.  One question - are you going to join in that
little chocolate party?

"Kieran," I said, "you know I've always been addicted to good
chocolate."

TO BE CONTINUED:





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