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Message-ID: <45759asstr$1070917804@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Mark Reed <markreed3000@yahoo.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} Writing Exercise (mf oral implied) by Mark Reed
Date: Mon,  8 Dec 2003 16:10:04 -0500
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Copyright 2003. All rights reserved. Posted with
permission.

Author's note: If this is the first story you've read
from me and you're scrolling, look beyond the first
paragraph before you turn away. However, if you're
looking for description, this one isn't for you. I
wanted to try my hand at an all dialogue tale, so sex
is only implied. Thanks to mycroftxxx for his
wonderful editing and commentary.

Writing Exercise
By Mark Reed

John saw Jan for the first time across the street. As
soon as he got one look at her face he knew she wanted
to fuck him. John was on his way to work, but fucking
seemed the more important thing at the time. He
immediately crossed the street and walked over to her.
Jan dropped the shopping bags she was holding and gave
him a lusy kiss. Not a word was exchanged in their
rush to rip each other's clothes off and do the nasty
deed. John tore Jan's blouse up, unhooked her bra with
practiced ease, reached under her skirt to pull her
panties down, unzipped his own pants to get his rock
hard cock out, and positioned himself at her entrance.
Jan was so hot from the mere thought of fucking this
handsome stranger that she was dripping wet. John
began pounding into her immediately and they both
climaxed hard within minutes. John zipped up, Jan put
her clothes on, and they both went back to their
normal lives, knowing what an incredible experience
they had just shared.

----

"So I need a woman's perspective. What do you think?"

"Well... I'm trying to find a way to put this
delicately."

"Why? Be blunt. It's what you're best at."

"If you insist, okay. Ah... well to be frank, this
reads like a rejected script for a b-rate porno
movie."

"What? Why! I thought it was good! Sex in public,
yanno? Everyone likes that."

"But it's not realistic. You don't mention how they
avoid the people on the street. They could have gotten
arrested."

"Hm. Okay, I'll add something about that. Maybe
they'll do this at night when it's deserted."

"You've got them as complete strangers here, too. Real
people don't see each other across the street and rip
each other's clothes off. There's not even any
*dialogue* in it. Doesn't she get a thank you? And the
closing line is unbelievably cheesy."

"Of course they're strangers. That's what makes it
fun. And I believe heavily in the method of
communication through body signals."

"Shouldn't you mention that in your story, then? Not
that it would be much better. 'She was a complete
stranger but John knew her body signals said Come And
Fuck Me Right Here Right Now You Big Hunk You'."

"Okay. I admit the lead up might need a little
work..."

"Not to mention the actual sex scene."

"What's wrong with the sex part?"

"Um... it's not arousing, at least for me. Not in the
slightest. You have no foreplay. You have no emotional
interchange. You have no *sex* except 'slam bam thank
you ma'am' without the thank you part."

"The sex arouses *me*." 

"That may be, and it's good that you're writing for
yourself, but if you're going to show it to others you
need some lead up. You need some actual content in the
sex part, too. And an ending other than 'they both
left without a word and were glad they took the time
to fuck like rabbits' would be nice, too. This reads
like a male jerk off fantasy."

"It *is* a male jerk off fantasy."

"Yes. That's the problem. You're trying to write
erotic literature. Or at least a sex story. And the
difference is large in my opinion. If you're going to
write something people will want to read, you need to
entertain them. You need some character in your...
er... characters. Speaking as a woman, I'd like to
know they're both capable of feeling something other
than sudden lust."

"I don't want to turn this into a freakin' soap opera.
It's stupid."

"Don't start sulking on me. You asked for my opinion,
remember? You don't have to turn it into a soap opera.
I said feeling, not drama. Big difference. Let's take
the woman for example. No woman I've ever heard of
would get soaking wet over the mere thought of
screwing some guy across the street."

"Well they kissed, too."

"Not for long, and from what you wrote it wasn't that
intense."

"I said passionate."

"You said lusty. Big difference. Actually, you forgot
the t and misspelled it 'lusy.' People might think you
meant lousy."

"Ha, ha. Lust is passion. Lusty could mean hot and
heavy."

"Yeah, but you need more description. Besides, no
woman can get that turned on from a short kiss. You
need to keep this in the real world."

"I AM keeping it in the real world. In my experience
women get that turned on from kissing."

"You're being ridiculous and you know it. It's not
possible, nor likely."

"Fine, I'll prove it."

"What are you MM! Mph! Mmfff!!! MMMF.... MM....
mmmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmm..."

"There. Are you turned on?"

"Huh?"

"I said, are you turned on?"

"What? Hey, how did I end up on the floor?"

"Your knees gave out and I had to catch you. You're
avoiding my point. Did I turn you on or not?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes you did. I didn't know you could kiss
like that."

"You'd be surprised. Anyway, now you understand. It
wouldn't be a problem for the female to be ready for
him by the end of the kiss."

"Will you help me up? Thanks. The kiss was nice.
Actually that kiss was... damn. Have you been able to
kiss like that all this time? Anyway, the kiss was
good, but I'm not exactly ready to fuck anyone."

"Well we didn't kiss for long. Besides, I was a
gentleman. I kept my hands to myself."

"Oh, what a line of crap. There isn't going to be room
enough for the both of us and your ego in a few more
minutes."

"What? I'm not making any of this up. I can have a
woman begging me to fuck her in under five minutes."

"That's the most male chauvinist crock of.... prove
it."

"What?"

"Prove it. You say you can get a woman to beg you to
fuck her in under five minutes, prove it. Make me beg
you to fuck me."

"I've known you for seven years. We're friends. We're
*good* friends. I don't think it's a good idea to risk
all of that just to..."

"You're full of shit. You're backpedaling."

"Alright. Fine. When do my five minutes start?"

"Now. If you can make MPH! MMMMmmmmmmmm..."

"Mfffmmphmm?"

"...mmmmmmmmmm...."

*THUD*

"Oh shit! You okay? I tried to catch you."

"Huh?"

"Your knees gave out again. I couldn't get a grip on
you fast enough to catch you."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"Hey! Pay attention. See the hand? Back and forth,
back and forth. Watch the hand. Good. Now follow the
hand until you're looking at my face. Good. Now pay
attention. Are you hurt?"

"Um.... huh? Oh... No, no I'm fine. I think I'll just
stay on the floor for a while. What time is it?"

"3:42, why?"

"You've got four minutes left."

"You can't be serious! You can't even stand."

"I don't need to stand to kiss you. You said you could
make me beg you in under five minutes. Well, tick tock
tick tock."

"Fine. Is your bra clasp in the front or back?"

"Back. What does that have to do with kissing?"

"I didn't say I'd kiss you the whole five minutes. I
said I could make you beg in five minutes. I'll need
to use my hands."

"Oh. Well I hope you're not in the habit of undressing
your women while casually talking to them about their
bras."

"Normally I'd undress them while I kiss them. This is
a standard clasp, right? Oh, there we go. Anyway,
normally I'd still be kissing them, but every time I
get that far, you collapse on me."

"These pants are a pain. Let me help you with that.
Not that there's any point in getting undressed. The
only thing I'll be begging you for at this rate is a
blanket."

"Uh huh. You wouldn't say that if we were still
kissing."

"Then would you just shut the hell up and kiss mph.
Mmmm...."

...

"... mmmmmm. Wow. You have mmm... you have soft
hands."

"Thank you. You've got nipples large enough for that b
rated porno movie I'm writing for."

"You got rejected. Don't you pay any attention?
Speaking of paying attention, get your hand off my
knee and get back to work."

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh. Oh, my. You seem to oh wow. You seem ahhhh....
Nnngh. You seem to *gasp* ... You... uh.... oooohhhh."

"Heh. You seem a bit distracted."

"Oh god. I didn't know fingers could feel so good down
there. Do you practice this?"

"In a way. I play the guitar, remember? Strong
fingers."

"I need to date a guitar player. Oh, do that again.
Oooohh. Ngh. What the NGH! Oh my NGH. *Gasp* Will
you... oh."

"I thought you'd like that. Figured it out while
tuning one day."

"What exactly are you ngh. What are you ngh. Ohhhh....
How are ngh. Doing. That. Oh my."

"That would be telling. Now if you'll excuse me, I've
got a minute left and better things to do with my
tongue than talk."

"What? You're not going to... you.... are.... oh my
GOD!"

....

"Oh god. Wow. Um. Oh.... oh! Oh! .... Oh!"

...

*Gasp*

...

"Oh Christ! What the FUCK! OH JESUS! YES! Oh god
please don't stop. Aaaarrwhlck. MPH! OH!"

...

"Just a little OH! Please more! Don't stop baby please
please please don't stop baby baby OH MORE PLEASE YES
YES YESS YESSSSSSS! OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!"

...

...

"God, you're beautiful when you come."

...

"Back with me now, hon? You taste delicious."

"Shut up and fuck me."

"Heh. Told you I could make you beg in five minutes."

"You were wrong."

"Hm? You don't want me to... ah.. continue?"

"I want you to fuck my brains out. But you're still
wrong. First, it's been six minutes, not five. Second,
I'm not begging. I'm simply telling you that if you
don't get your damn clothes off and get down here in
the next sixty seconds, I will castrate you."

"Oh, I see. You're not begging. Ouch! Watch the hands
with the boxers, dear. You're not begging, you're
ordering. Well, what if I don't want to do anything
until you beg me?"

"You don't want to do that. Wow you're big."

"I'm not the only one with nice hands, either. But
back to business. I'm not doing a thing until you beg
me."

"Shut up and fuck me."

"You're not very good at this begging stuff are
yYYYEEE!"

"Shut up and fuck me."

"Ow! Hey, you're not playing fair. That hurts. OW!"

"Shut up and fuck me."

"Jesus! Okay let go. God, girl!"

"Shut up and fuck me."

"I need a bit of time to recover. You kind of killed
my mood."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"You need to work on adding more phrases to mph. Mmmm.
Mmmmmmmmmm...."

~fin~




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