index


Message-ID: <44557asstr$1065132604@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net>
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #032 - 02-Oct-2003
Date: Thu,  2 Oct 2003 18:10:04 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----


Sparring for sex. Ski Cabins. Paddles. Sandy moves out.
Promises. Full circles. New ways to have fun. And tragedies.

About these, we are concerned this week.


"And the days go by,
 Like a strand in the wind,
 In the web that is my own,
 I begin again,
 Said to my friend, baby,
 Nothing else mattered."
                  -- Miss Stephanie Nicks

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only 
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the 
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author 
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the 
wind.

 - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson

Review Archives:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www

Thanks to Denny for checking over the reviews for obvious
bungles, though ultimately any errors herein are mine and mine 
alone. Also, big thanks to Rui, who always comes through with
the story links, even the obscure ones.

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you like the stories contained in these reviews, Rui helps run
the Clitorides, which is a "People's Choice"-type award system
for exceptional erotica. You might want to nominate any story that
tickles you.

Silver: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Clitorides/www/Silver_Clitorides.htm
Golden: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/Clitorides/
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Summary:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sparring Partners -- Vulgar Argot
    (MF, rougher sex in a dojo)
    [10,10,10,10]

Playing Around at the Ski Cabin -- shattims
    (MF swap)
    [9,9,5,6]

A Paddle for Becky -- Rod Ramsey
    (M/F, Rom)
    [7,10,8,9]

Sandy's Story -- Kelly Adams 
    (mc, FFM)
    [8,10,10,10]

The Promise -- Shakes Peer2B
    (MF flash nosex)
    [10,10,7,8]

My first story... be gentle -- Fake Name
    (MF stream of consciousness)
    [7,9,7,9]

Something New -- Meme Misspelt
    (FF rom)
    [10,10,10,10]

Always and Forever -- Girl Friday
    (M/F Trag)
    [10,10,10,10]

Reviews:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sparring Partners -- Vulgar Argot
    (MF, rougher sex in a dojo)

Vanessa has returned from service in the Gulf. Even if she doesn't
know it, she's changed, and it is probably for the better. Most of
the town of Baleville turns out to congratulate her, except the one
person that she desperately wants to see again. Through discreet
enquiries, Vanessa discovers that Clay owns a Martial Arts school.
When she goes to visit Clay, she learns more about Clay and herself.

Vulgar is careful to put the story codes at the bottom of the
posting. I have to agree with the author here ... sometimes codes
spoil the story, and this would be one of them. I've made up more
generic codes for the story above -- they aren't Vulgar's codes.

Now, I must admit that I really liked this story. I've read stories
by Vulgar Argot before, and despite the given name of his or her
nym, the stories are anything but vulgar. Vulgar has a style and
presence that is somewhat unique. I felt I knew his characters,
especially Vanessa, but even Clay. There was something real and
human about Vanessa that I guess, as readers, we look for. She could
have been nearly any one of us.

Now, don't freak out about the mention of 'rough sex.' Yes, there is
rough sex, and even sex that normally I avoid when reading others'
works. But the story is about sooo much more than rough sex that to
take this code to heart and ignore the story would be a disservice
to Vulgar and yourself. The characters have warmth, the story has
substance, and the sex is hot, even if you don't normally go for
rougher sex.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/sparring.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43720

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/www/

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Playing Around at the Ski Cabin -- shattims
    (MF swap)

The heat is awful in Sacramento at this time of year. When a
coworker offers his ski cabin to George, he doesn't have much
convincing to do in order to get Patty to spend a week in the
mountain air. But the cabin is large enough for three couples, and
so, two more couples join them for the week long getaway. During the
week, a spin the bottle game gets a little out of hand, which leads,
over time, to the couples swapping around to make their love lives
more exciting.

Overall, the story here had a lot of potential. I mean, three
couples vacationing together pair off for delightful sex. I'm torn.
The situation was exciting, in many ways, and so unbelievable in
others that I wasn't able to fully accept the premise. shattims
touches on the probable results of such a week of debauchery --
jealousy, and discomfort -- but without going into details. Now, I
realise that the story was really about the sex -- not the
relationships involved -- but the human angle is more what *I* was
interested in. As with most stories that concentrate on the sexual
aspects, I found the sex overdescribed -- times three couples. In
fact, I found it difficult to keep them all straight, despite
differing names. There simply wasn't enough character in the story
to help me differentiate the people having sex. It could have been
any of them, as long as it wasn't the spouse. Nor did I particularly
care about the characters and what they might feel.

Anyway, I liked the premise, and it certainly had potential. The
plot was interesting, and given more character would have made a
fantastic story. The story was also remarkably well written
technically, which always makes for a pleasurable read.

Technical       :    9
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :    5
Crimson         :    6

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43843

Author's Other Works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=shattims@yahoo.com&index=email&submit=Search

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Paddle for Becky -- Rod Ramsey
    (M/F, Rom)


Becky only wants one thing for her birthday. A paddle. Now, Brad
doesn't know the first thing about paddles, or how to use them, but
Becky is insistent, and he finds himself in a specialty store
browsing for paddles. Wide ones. Tall ones. Big ones. Small ones.
He ends up getting help from a sales girl whose logo on her shirt
... well, let's just say that I need one of those shirts. Anyway,
Becky promises to make it worth his effort, and sure enough ...
Becky loves her new gift.

[ "Yeah. My old one is getting worn out and I need a new one{.}"
  she replied{,} "If you get me one for my birthday I'll make it a
  special night for you." ]

Either 'she' needed to be capitalised, or the punctuation is wildly
wrong here. If this was an isolated incident, I probably wouldn't
have mentioned it, but Rod does need to be a little more careful of
dialogue punctuation, especially with such a short piece.

[ After dinner I led Becky into the livingroom for {desert}, a nice
  chocolate cake with two candles on it. ]

A desert? With oases, camels, sand and everything?

<smile>

Editor's Note:
  There are some that might suggest that "living room" is more
  appropriate than the compound version "livingroom." Dragons
  don't mind, generally, either form, but it probably ought to 
  be pointed out for completeness.

Regardless of the technical aspects, I did like the story and the
purpose here. It was cleverly done, and I thought that the sexual
content was appropriate.

And so I really must ask ... who has the dirty mind?

Technical       :    7
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :    9

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ramsey/Paddle.txt
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43815

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ramsey/

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sandy's Story -- Kelly Adams 
    (mc, FFM)

Sandy's life changes when she breaks up with her philandering
boyfriend. When she moves into a new condominium, she meets Nikki
and Mark, a couple in her age group. Mark is a chemist, while Nikki
is a nice looking woman. One night, when Sandy accepts a dinner
invitation, she finds herself strangely susceptible to Nikki's
suggestions. And she is surprised to find that she really doesn't
mind.

Apart from a few minor missing commas, the story is well written and
very sexy. Mind control stories aren't normally Kelly's genre, but I
think she's done this niche fantasy justice. In fact, I think she's
done better than that.

Yes, this is stroke fiction at its core, but I like the way Kelly
handles the sex scenes -- light and sexy -- and I really like the
way she presented the mind control themes. It didn't overpower the
story, but merely was an extension of the plot and character in the
story itself.

Technical       :    8
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kelly/www/sandy1.txt
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/44292

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kelly/www/

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Promise -- Shakes Peer2B
    (MF flash nosex)

Our heroine wants to go. Go where? And what is she willing to do in
order to go? You'll have to read this flash piece to find out.

This piece is interesting. It is more about power games than
anything else, though power games can be arousing, even in the
absence of described sex. I think that was what Shakes was trying to
convey here. In that, I think he succeeded admirably.

However, at least for me, description of power games without further
understanding leaves me feeling that the piece was shallow. If one
has an inherent understanding of these kinds of games, then I
suspect it works. If not, it might come across as cruel and
meaningless. Anyway, I suspect you will either understand the flash
piece, or not, and that's all Shakes was trying to do.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    7
Crimson         :    8

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Shakes_Peer2B/Promise.txt
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/44318

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Shakes_Peer2B/

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
My first story... be gentle -- Fake Name
    (MF stream of consciousness)

I'm not really sure if this story is Untitled, or should be reviewed
under the subject line of the ASSM post. Follow the links to get to
it. I'm also not sure what authoring credit should be used here -- I
suppose "Fake Name" is as honest as it gets.

A man sits and smokes cigars. Lisa has some fun with her husband.
And a young girl takes the night off from her job in a convenience
store. What do they have in common? Or do they have anything in
common?

This story is the first effort of a new writer to the group, Fake
Name. Now, this is an interesting piece of writing that Fakey has
thrust upon us. It's almost a stream of consciousness, and while it
has a disjointed feel, it does seem to have something deeper
underneath that is certainly worth thinking about. I'm not sure I
fully understand what this piece is about, but it is interesting.
Comes full circle, if I'm not entirely mistaken. Will be interesting
to see what else Fakey comes up with in the future.

Technical       :    7
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :    7
Crimson         :    9

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/44448

Author's Site:
<none>

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Something New -- Meme Misspelt
    (FF rom)

Carol, like some Dragons you might know, is an author of erotic
fiction. We've all had it happen -- writer's block. Carol wants to
write something new but without resorting to including a Doberman.
Mia arrives and helps Carol find something to write about.

[ "You're making it really {heard} to concentrate on being 
  exasperated," ]

I think the 'e' key might be stuck on Meme's keyboard.

But honestly, that was the only typo I saw. Well written and edited.

This story was a little different. Sure there is a certain sexiness,
but there is also story and character here. Meme is commenting, at
least peripherally, on how we, as authors, do our thing. Even while
I suppose that I might identify with it because I'm like Carol more
than I like to admit, I think that the normal, non-writing reader
will also enjoy the insights that Meme presents here. Something New,
indeed.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/44427

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/meme_misspelt/www/

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Always and Forever -- Girl Friday
    (M/F  Trag)

I feel like I've been punched. And that is probably the best praise
that I can offer. Friday has written something here that connected,
at least with me. Tragic? Emotional? Oh, yes.

I was going to write about second person point of view, and how it
normally doesn't work for erotic stories. But I stand corrected.
*This* works, and could not be written any other way.

But then again, it isn't an erotic story. Nor should it be.

Thanks for making me feel again, Friday. And for the rest of you, if
you missed it, go read it.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Girl_Friday/www/alwaysandforever.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/44410

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Girl_Friday/www/
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Girl_Friday/

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: 2.6.3ia
Charset: noconv

iQEVAwUBP3xsv0xM3srBk85hAQHcYQf/Z1hjDsN788jglJcie20gCOObk2595nPy
FeCp1UTb/gTADHd6u8sJJ6HhUoTUcZEBUBa93A4Sh2eyoarIVDAdLaqASSpt5dIl
3i89t/RpbSms4WfnIqXyajHv/IS+Vez/hdOUhSM0GQqFdlKcp+GmM75GFhFrWuXB
da38rWEbUq3JhrBVsokWXuwOjnaofnB6NEme3syufC6ZlTkHnqtzJux7Sm5ZlPOg
DDz62+6b+tgbUcsFMM8ghSx1xJ/+rHBr1PcmQDCIo/M4y5IREv/I/5PKnc01CEJR
oLeKFl/0qhOwvqwgrE8USIWzturQsrBzRIkc5UF5MWUl6O7C9zxiOA==
=2dWG
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>|
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> |
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+