Message-ID: <44308asstr$1063624204@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
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From: juanwildone <juanwildone@yahoo.com>
X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 01:53:14 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: {ASSM} A Little Flash 1-2-3 say cheese
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 07:10:04 -0400
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Here's a little flash for all you Flash-a-philes.
Oh yeah, you know who you are. Standing there - just outside the
light.
Hey, wait a second. Des? Des is that you? What are you doing
here? And what's the deal with the trenchcoat - there's not a
cloud in the...
FLASH!
Ohhhhh. Hey, watch out with the exclamation point alright?
---------------------------------
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<1st attachment, "SimpleFacts.doc" begin>
Ten Simple Facts
by juanwildone
One, I was severely hung over. I knew that I'd drank like a fish
last night because the hangover I'm experiencing, the one that
had the insides of my eyelids feeling like sandpaper, is enough
to make me consider stop drinking altogether.
Two, this is not my bed. My head is resting on a big soft pillow.
The pillow case end, the part where you stuff the pillow in at,
that's all lacey-like. The sheets are really soft and smooth. I
don't have a big soft pillow, lacey pillowcases or really smooth
soft sheets.
Three, I'm naked and I've had sex - recently. My A.M. hard-on had
that sore stretched tautness that follows lengthy if not always
great sex (hopefully that memory would clarify before too long).
Four, I'm pretty sure that the woman whose arm is draped over my
chest and whose leg is inserted between mine is the one I had sex
with. She's also naked. I'm basing this on the delightful feeling
of her soft breasts and hard nipples pressing into me. And that
our skin seems to be stuck together hip to hip.
Five, last night I had driven a co-worker home from an "End of
the Quarter TGIF" party. She had invited me in for a cup of
coffee that became instead an open bottle of Tequila.
Six, she told me that her husband was traveling out of the
country and wouldn't return until the end of the month.
Seven, we commiserated with each other about loneliness and unmet
desires.
Eight, now I remember. The sex was both great and lengthy.
Nine, she's waking. Sliding onto my chest, straddling my hips;
guiding me into her.
Ten, my wife is visiting her sister; she won't be home until
Sunday.
<1st attachment end>
<2nd attachment, "WhatDoYouMeanByThat.doc" begin>
What Do You Mean by That!
by juanwildone
"Look it didn't mean anything to me."
"Well it means everything to me."
"I'm telling you it was meaningless."
"No, mine was meaningless. I was drunk. It happened. That's it.
Meaningless."
"Same here. Except that I was definitely sober. It happened, I
made sure of that. And now that's it - meaningless."
"Who was it?"
"Does it really matter?"
"Of course it matters! How can you just sit there and say that it
meant nothing?"
"How can I? The exact same way you can."
"Meaningless - huh? So you're saying that it was just
meaningless."
"Yep. It didn't mean a thing; as in having no significant value.
Mean-ing-less."
"Okay. What do we do now?"
"What do you mean?"
<2nd attachment end>
<3rd attachment, "ASeniorMoment.doc" begin>
A Senior Moment
by juanwildone
"Right like I'd forget that. Just dump it there. I'll fold them
later."
"Oh so now I'm incapable of folding clothes."
"I didn't mean that. Michael I know you didn't want to housesit
but Grammie needs someone around. She's getting very forgetful."
"I know, it just we haven't had sex since we got oh ho, what is
this?"
"It's a condom obviously and just why do you have one. I'm on the
Pill asshole."
"Asshole? This isn't mine."
"Oh Please. Who is she Michael? Is it that bi-sexual slut of a
secretary of yours? Oh I know all about "Ms. Jacobs." I nearly
fell over her at your office Christmas party. She was doing some
guy in one of the backrooms. Decided to 'evaluate her
performance' for yourself?"
"I have not my relationship with Sofia is strictly
professional."
"Oh Sophia is it? What's the going rate for...?"
"Children please, I can't hear my T.V. program with all this
noise out here."
"Sorry Grammie. It's just that..."
"Oh you found it. I was wondering where that got off too. The
Senior Center is going to Las Vegas this weekend and a couple of
the men are going to try that new French Viagra, 'le weekender'
or something. Well if you don't "BYOC", that's
"Bring-Your-Own-Condom" you might as well stay home. They just
aren't any good substitutes for a warm hard cock. Good night
sweetie. Thanks again, I'm just so forgetful."
"Ohmigod. Grammie's a swinger?"
"Forget your Grammie, what was that comment about finding Sophia
in one of the backrooms? There's a story going around about one
of the salesmen, Sophia and some other woman a pretty wild
story. Just what the hell happened at that party Carol?
"Oh oh um, I forget?"
<3rd attachment end>
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