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Subject: {ASSM} "Control, Part Five: Aftermath" (no story codes)
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"Control"
By H. Jekyll

Part Five: "Aftermath"

* * * * *

I do not use story codes anymore. This story contains 
explicit sex and great sexual cruelty. It is the tale of a 
woman who left her lover for a sexually dominant man, and 
who has descended into a world of sadism-for-profit on the 
internet. It is also a story of love and commitment.

I appreciate comments and inquiries, even criticisms, and I 
absolutely promise to respond to them. Please send them to: 
h_jekyll2000@yahoo.com

Copyright 2002 by H. Jekyll. Permission is freely granted 
to post on any site that does not charge for entrance, as 
long as full attribution is given to the author. The story 
should not be read by anyone under the legal age to read 
sexually explicit stories, or by anyone in a location where 
it is illegal to read such stories. 

"Control" previously appeared at "Ruthie's Club," which I 
recommend to readers, where it was edited by Ruthie. An 
illustrated and formatted earlier version can be found 
there. See: http://www.ruthiesclub.com/.

H. Jekyll's stories are archived at "Ruthie's Club" and
in the Alt Sex Stories Text Repository, 
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/h_jekyll/

* * * * *

"Aftermath"


The doctor wants to talk to Geoffrey, but Geoffrey is flickering in and
out. He can't follow the conversation. The doc is looking down at him.
Geoff looks around and finds he is in bed with Anne, and then he
remembers. The doctor talks. Geoff is answering. They've been
conversing, haven't they? He tries to follow it, to reconstruct it.
What have they said?

She's had insults to several systems. Whatever that means. We think her
liver function will improve on its own. You think? It should. She's
pretty well re-hydrated now, and we'll get her electrolytes balanced
pretty soon. That should help her heart rhythm. Should? It should.
There doesn't seem to be any permanent damage to her limbs, though an
orthopedist needs to have a look at her shoulders. That's good, I
guess. And the antibiotics should clear up her pneumonia and the
infections in her lesions. Lesions? Her burns and cuts. Some of them
are infected. We decided against giving her a transfusion for her
anemia. Why? She should improve with medication and diet. I see. Two
things we have to watch are her kidney function and her heart. 

"Wait a minute! I thought you said the electrolytes would clear up her
heart."

"Well, yes, but there may be damage. We can't tell yet." 

"And her kidneys?" 

"We'll have to see how much they improve. She might be fine."

She might be fine. Geoffrey wakes up completely and thinks about that
for awhile. 

* * * * *

Geoffrey has hardly left Anne's side. He hasn't had a choice. She held
onto him through everything last night, even her x-rays. He couldn't
let go of her hand to change positions without her getting agitated. He
couldn't go to the bathroom until they gave her something to help her
sleep, and when he got back she was rolling in a nightmare. He leaned
down to her. "I'm here, Annie. It's okay. You're safe." She opened her
eyes barely enough to see him, sighed "Geoffy," and faded back out.

Besides him, her room is filled with machines and charts and blinking
lights, metal tubes and a glass wall to the main ICU staff area.
Everyone who passes looks in at them. Staff come and go. Security sits
just outside the door. During the night Geoff had tried to stay awake
while waiting for all the tests. Someone would address him and he'd
jerk out of a velvet sleep. He had a passing thought that he should
call someone to cancel his classes, but who cares?

The doctors finished with Anne around three a.m. When they left, Geoff
pushed a green vinyl chair right up against the bed, blocking one of
the monitors, and held her hand through the safety bars. He woke an
hour later to see her staring down at him, and for the first time he
knew she was awake and aware and back in the world. She was looking at
him with the saddest expression he had ever seen. 

"I hurt you and left you and you came for me." She couldn't continue.
She cried with gulps and sobs.

"Annie. Annie." 

Geoffrey stood and leaned over her, and as he did the world spun and he
held the bed rail. The world spun and spun, then merely rocked, then
only trembled. Geoffrey put his mouth to Anne's temple. "Annie, Annie,
it's okay. Please don't be sad." Her hair was clean. It smelled of
shampoo. When did they have time to wash her? How did he miss it? The
world twirled around Anne's temple, around the fine hair and the smell
of shampoo.

"You should have let me die!" Her crying changed to coughs, and in a
minute a nurse came in to give her something.

Anne drifted back to sleep but kept jolting awake. If Geoffrey sat
completely still the room would stop floating, but Anne couldn't stop
jumping, and every time he had to stroke her and whisper and put his
cheek on her. Finally he slipped off his shoes and crawled onto the
bed, under her IV line, and held her. No one was going to stop him. He
fell asleep. When she'd kick and twist he'd simply hold her and say
something, and they'd glide back under together. Then, during the
night, Victor was leaning against the far wall, holding a cigarette in
a European fashion, but when Geoffrey sat up Victor transformed himself
into some sort of medical apparatus covered with a gray tarp. Satan!
Geoff had to check to make sure he hadn't accidentally jerked out the
IV tube. 

Later he woke snuggling Anne in a spoons position, with his hand on her
hip, coming out of a dream in which they were fucking. He was
completely erect and moving his penis up and down against her. He
stopped. He thought she couldn't possibly ever want sex again. 

They were both asleep when the chief attending physician came in to
give his morning report a few minutes ago. Behind him Geoffrey can see
the morning nurse, smiling like the Mona Lisa and touching a finger to
her lips. Annie sleeps through the whole thing. Someone put an oxygen
mask on her during the night, and Geoff slept through it. What if Satan
had sneaked in?

She might be fine.

* * * * *

Anne probably doesn't need so much time in ICU, but the mayor has made
the call. "America's Most Wanted" started the ball rolling and now the
case dominates the cable networks. It probably will for a few weeks,
until some six-year-old shoots his father in Wyoming. For now it's Anne
the celebrity, Anne the victim, Anne of the black box. The tabloids
can't get enough of her. The mayor isn't going to let anything happen
to her. At least the media are kept away from her floor, and the city
picks up the tab.

On the second day, Geoff looks up at a TV in the cafeteria and there
they are, videotapes of the basement and the box, along with edited
footage from the Web site archives. It's a cable news talk show. The
two hosts are supposed to represent the left and the right. Today they
agree the nation needs new laws and a crackdown on Internet smut. The
one from the right blames the Clinton administration for a breakdown in
sexual morality.

Contributions from women's advocacy groups pour in. Cost isn't going to
be a problem. The FBI doesn't make a big case of it, since after all no
one was killed, but at least Victor is now a Federal fugitive. Photos
of Victor are plastered everywhere, with the usual information on what
numbers to call. 

* * * * *

The third day. 

They're edging down the hall toward the elevators. The doctors want
Anne to walk but she's awfully weak, so they go slowly, she still
swaying a little on those spindly legs. Geoffrey holds the wheeled IV
bag cart to one side, the tube crossing behind his back. He pulls it
along while his other arm is around her waist, supporting her and
holding her to him. When they pass the nurses' station one nurse
whispers to the other, "They're so sweet together," before turning back
to the mayor's press conference on CNN.

Geoff is telling Anne something. Some little thing. "You promise to eat
something for me, right Annie?" She usually won't speak, not since the
first night. Maybe she'll utter a word or two almost under her breath,
in a monotone, but that's it. She'll talk to Geoff when they're alone.
Now they murmur almost conspiratorially. Anne seems to be agreeing to
try to eat. Then out of the blue she stops walking and begins to cry.
She doesn't try to hide it, just stands there with tears flowing down
her face, making panting little high-pitched sobs. Geoff turns to her
and she puts her face to his chest. He touches his free hand to her
head. 

After a few minutes she's better. She looks up at him and puts fingers
to his cheek and kisses him, then they walk some more.

Even before they can get back to her room Anne is winded and covered in
a fine, itchy sweat. Geoff helps her to the bed and looks at her,
wondering about the kiss. Anne speaks a whole sentence, "Geoff, don't
look at me like that." 

"What? Like what?"

"You know." She looks away.

"Annie?"

"I'm so ashamed." She's still looking away. Her eyes are watery but
there are no more tears.

"Oh. Well, should I keep my eyes closed?" He closes his eyes and walks
toward her and almost falls when he stumbles against a rack. "Oh, shit.
Damn!" Anne laughs the first part of a tiny laugh but catches herself
and puts a hand to her mouth.

"It's just that..." She sighs. "I wish I could undo everything." She's
silent for maybe ten seconds. "I know you have things you have to do."
Silence again. Geoff sits down to wait her out. "You don't have to stay
with me anymore. My mother can take care of me."

Geoffrey looks at her but doesn't answer. Finally he rises and goes
through the ritual of getting the room ready for her nap. He closes the
curtain and shuts the door. He turns out the overhead light. He refills
her drink canister with fresh juice. He pulls up her covers and kisses
her on the forehead. Then, finally, "Would you like me to leave?" Anne
starts crying again.

"Annie. Annie. If you're going to cry at everything I say, I'll have to
be mute." She wipes her eyes and tries to smile. "So here's the deal,
Annie Fanny. I'm not going to try to take over your life. You know I'm
not like that. When you tell me it's time to leave, I'm gone, and I'll
be happy because you're better. But if you're saying that just because
you think you're a burden, or you don't deserve help, or whatever...
well, rethink it. I'm happy doing this." 

You'll never know how long I spent rehearsing parts of that spiel,
Anne. Did I get the lighthearted tone right?

She makes herself not cry any more. "Thank you Geoffy. I'd like it. If
you stayed with me awhile longer. Really." 

He leans to kiss her on the forehead again. A brotherly kiss, or a
fatherly one. Whatever. When he leans the room shifts. Oh, no. Here
comes another one, another rolling wave. So many of them. He sits down
in the green vinyl chair to help it pass, while she rests, and he nods
off after a few minutes but wakes feeling Anne's hand moving through
his hair. "Come on up, Geoffy. You'll be more comfortable up here." On
the bed, he's on his back and she curls against him, her head on his
arm, and he is sound asleep in seconds. Anne lies perfectly still,
looking at him. Occasionally she touches him while he sleeps. His
chest. His cheek. He snores a little, but in a minute it changes to
deep, regular breathing, almost as though he were breathing in sighs.
When her mother comes in during visiting hours, Anne puts a finger to
her lips to make her be quiet.

* * * * *

"I'd like to explore your feelings when you thought you'd always be his
prisoner." 

The therapist won't let go. Anne looks at Geoffrey. "It's okay, Annie.
Tell her." She squeezes his hand harder and looks down. She won't look
directly at the therapist, who obviously wishes Anne would see her
alone. 

When that time finally comes, though, Anne doesn't say two words. "Do
you not want to talk about Victor?" asks the therapist, and Anne shakes
her head, not looking up. "Is there anything you'd feel comfortable
talking about?"

There's a long silence. The therapist neither fidgets nor looks away.
Finally Anne says it, but in voice so quiet the therapist has to lean
forward to hear her. 

"Geoffrey."

"Why?" More silence. The therapist waits again.

"I have to make him leave. But I don't want to."

"Why is that?" Time to cry again, Annie.

The therapist gets Geoffrey alone to ask him about Anne. He asks her
back, "What do you want to know?"

"You've gone above and beyond the call of duty."

"Well she's needed me."

"She told me about leaving you. For Mr. Bruno. So I have to wonder what
your motives are?"

Oh shit. She's no dummy, this therapist. 

"Yeah. That. Okay. I know what you're getting at. I guess it shows.
This is confidential, isn't it? Okay. Well the fact is I never got over
her. But I can't tell her that. I know it's over. I'm afraid she'll
feel she has to be nice to me because I'm her hero. You know. Out of
gratitude. So I don't know what to do. Do you have any suggestions?"

"I think we three need to have a talk together."

* * * * *

It isn't that easy. 

Saving Anne turned out to be easy. Bringing her home is easy. Nothing
else is.

At home, Anne follows Geoffrey around the house. When he gets the
newspaper she's at the window watching him, as intently as do the
paparazzi who seem to be camped out there. They always try to goad him
into making a statement. They want photos of the sex victim, not Geoff,
but he'll have to do unless she gets too close to the window. They
finally give up when the story wanes, but Anne doesn't give up wanting
Geoff to be in sight. When he mows the grass she sits in the rocking
chair with a book in her lap and looks out at the lawn.

At first she has to ride to the university with him. While he lectures
she sits in the back row, in a corner, eyes down so she doesn't have to
acknowledge anyone. The first day a young woman said hello and Anne
looked down at her desk and made a shy smile but didn't answer.
Everyone knows she's the girl in the box, and some of the guys look at
her, but there aren't any problems.

It's the same inside the house. If Geoff steps out of the den to go
on-line while she's watching something on TV, in a moment she'll have
drifted to the doorway. He won't even hear her, but when he looks up
she'll be standing patiently, hovering at a spot where she can see him.
He rises and walks over to envelope her in his arms and kiss her. "Do
you want me to come back to the den?" He nuzzles her hair.

She plays with the top button on his shirt, looking at it instead of at
his face. "Mm-hmm." She says it in a little girl tone. He teases,
"You'll let me go to the bathroom alone, won't you?" and she answers "I
guess," still playing with the button. But she sounds serious. 

Nothing is easy. Anne needs a night light. She has to touch Geoff while
she's going to sleep, and he practices lying still so it'll be easier
for her. She stirs when he gets up during the night. She wakes two,
sometimes three times a night and sits up in bed, trying not to yell,
her heart thundering. Geoffrey holds her and talks to her. "I'm here
Anne. I'll always be here. Nothing will ever hurt you."

He's careful not to be sexual. He pulls her back down and kisses her,
her ear, her neck, her mouth, murmuring in between, running his mouth
over her temple, always going back to that fine hair that flies away.
"There, there, Annie. My girl." They kiss while he holds and caresses
and comforts her. Somehow they shift from lips to tongues, sucking and
caressing each other's tongue. They always do, though he doesn't plan
it. Geoffrey twists his body away so she won't notice his erection. He
wants her. Oh Jesu, joy of man's desiring! Oh Jesus! Oh Yeshua Ben
David! Oh God, I want to fuck her! He stops using his tongue and rubs a
cheek over hers and murmurs something again, and then she nests against
him and goes back to sleep while he waits for his penis to shrink.

If I were Victor I could make her want it. I'd just turn her on. It
would be easy. I'd snap my fingers or tie her to the bed and she'd beg
for it. Oh shut the fuck up. You aren't Victor and you don't want to
be. Yes I do, in that one way.

He rises and walks to the guest bedroom to turn on the computer, where
he goes to the files he wants, hidden in a folder within another folder
inside a main folder. He plays the orgasm video that shows her flower
opening and closing and he caresses his penis through his underwear. He
pulls them down and runs his thumb up, down, around the head of his
penis, letting it get slippery, petting himself while he watches orgasm
videos. When he's about to come he pulls up his shirt, panting and
straining to subdue his voice, while he spurts onto his chest and
belly. Afterward he duck-walks into the bathroom, holding his pants out
and his shirt up, to clean himself off. Before he gets back to bed Anne
is tossing again.

"Annie. Annie. It's okay. I'm here. You're safe."

* * * * *

When they first go outside to walk, she's afraid the whole time. It's
early autumn, breezy and clear. The first leaves run along the street.
It's beautiful and she can't wait to finish and get back inside the
house. When they go out by car she has to be in by sunset. She can't
stand dark places like theaters. She sees Victor everywhere.

It is a long time before Anne can bring herself to see any of her
friends. The whole time Jane is visiting, she and Anne clutch each
others' hands and cry together. At one point Jane says, "You know, it
could just as easily have been Maureen or me." Geoff wonders if Jane
has watched any of the orgasm videos, and if she's a little jealous. He
regrets it almost instantly, though Anne is more available on the Web
than Pamela Anderson. Anyone with a credit card can see her.

In bed, before they're asleep, Anne twitches and whispers, "Did you
hear that?" Geoffrey goes through the house once again. Every night he
checks the security devices several times before coming to bed, and he
does it again before going to work in the morning. "Have you done it,
Geoff?" When he says yes she asks, "Could you do it again?" Motion
detectors, window and door alarms, supplementary power, dead bolts,
steel doors, barred windows. Cell phones preprogrammed with emergency
numbers. Fortress Geoffy. He's even got micro-cams hidden around, all
tied to recording devices. The donations are used up.

* * * * *

The third day that Anne stays home alone, the house is empty when Geoff
gets back.

"Annie?" No sound.

The house looks normal. Nothing is disturbed. They talked half an hour
ago.

"Annie?"

The door was locked when he got to it. The kitchen counter has things
Anne had taken out for dinner, thawed chicken breasts, Parmesan cheese,
sherry, butter. There's a paperback book, face down on the dining
table. There's just no Anne.

He thinks why didn't I take the gun? If he's here I can't get to it. 

He grabs a knife. From a drawer in den he finds a taser. It's
something.

"Annie!"

He hears her voice, muffled, as though far away. "I'm here, Geoff."
It's from the bedroom. She sounds desperate. He runs down the hall,
into the bedroom. "Annie?"

She's in the closet. She's standing with her back to the wall, beside
the closet door, and she's holding a steak knife in both hands. She's
trembling and crying.

"I heard him, Geoff! I heard him!"

"Where?"

"It wasn't him. I thought I heard him. I was so afraid!" Too afraid to
call, to do the rational things.

Geoff takes the knife from her carefully. He has to pry her fingers
away. He lets her tremble against him until finally she's calm. He puts
his cheek on her head and kisses her and brushes her with his hands.

"Next time call me right away, okay honey? I'd die before I'd let him
get to you."

At the word "die" Anne's eyes snap open. She pulls her hands up and
slaps them on his chest, hard.

"No! Don't say that!"

"What?"

"You're not allowed to die. You can't! You can't! Tell me you won't
ever die! Say it!"

And he says it of course. Then Anne demands something different.

"Please let me die, Geoffy. Please. You have to let me die."

"No! I'm not losing you, Anne."

"Please. I want to die. I can't stand it anymore."

Geoff picks her up, swoops her up. She still isn't very heavy. He
carries her to the bed while she begs him, "Please. I just want to
die," where he lays her down and pulls a quilt over her. He lies down
right beside her, under the quilt, puts pillows behind her, puts one
lightly over her head so they're completely nested. He holds her
closely and strokes her hair and her back, stroking her while she begs.
"Let me die, Geoffy. I love you but I can't stand it."

"Shh. It'll be all right. You'll see." He strokes her again, but she
continues to beg, not loudly, not even as though she's paying
attention, as though half asleep, her face burrowed up against him,
quietly, a mantra, half a whisper, on and on. "I want to die."

"Shh." A caress.

"Let me die. Please Geoffy. Let me. Let me."

* * * * *

It gets too hard. The next night he comes to bed after checking
security. They kiss and talk, kiss and talk, and when she shifts a
little her hand brushes his penis. "Geoffy? Would you like to make
love?" 

"No, but I want to massage you." Fucking liar. Scratch that. Fuckless
liar.

"It would be okay."

"My Annie." He smiles at her and kisses her again. They've become
excellent kissers. "You'd say anything I wanted to do was okay."

"Uh-huh."

He loosens her peignoir. Anne isn't wearing panties. Ah, her poor body,
her poor shrunken breasts, barely starting to soften and round out
again. There are still some faint, yellow bruises and traces of cuts
and burns that are starting to turn into little pink scars. Her pubic
hair is returning. She looks different since the docs took out the
piercings. It was medical necessity--some of them were infection
sites--but Geoffrey looks at her and wishes they'd left one each in her
nipples and clitoris. God damned perv. 

He begins with her shoulders. He lifts and caresses them, running his
hands around them. He's especially gentle with them because they still
trouble her so much. He warms them with light, circular strokes, then
massages harder and deeper to loosen them, and after a bit Anne says
"Ooooo" in a soft voice.

Down her arms and to her hands, first one side and then the other. Do
each finger separately. Massage round and round each palm with his
thumbs. He goes to her legs. The soles of her feet and her toes first.
She can't help squirming when he begins on her soles. Then up her legs,
following the venous flow upward, warming and working her wasted
muscles, calves and thighs, before traveling around and past her vulva.
Don't get too close there. Skirt her breasts. You can touch them just a
little. He spends a lot of time on Anne's head and neck, massaging her
forehead, jaw, scalp. Pulling lightly on her hair. She's almost out by
now, hypnotized from it all, but he doesn't stop. Down to her chest,
using only the tips of his fingers around the outer edges, then up the
middle, then around. She sighs. To her stomach.

He plays with her nipples.

He brushes them with his fingertips. Her nipples harden. He tickles the
skin around them. Anne's breathing changes but she's not tense.
Geoffrey runs his fingertips all the way down from her breastbone to
her stomach, to her pubis. He edges them slowly down to her labia, and
between them. She's slippery. Anne still lies relaxed, but her
breathing is richer.

"Anne." He half whispers. "I'm going to play with your body some more.
Is that all right?"

Her voice comes from some far-away place. "Yes, Geoffy. Do it." She
doesn't move. She doesn't go rigid either.

Geoffrey plays with her sex as part of the massage, running his hands
around her, then through her, then around and down to her thighs, then
up her lips. He pulls on her lips. Her breathing is louder and quicker.
She says "Ooooo" again, in a long, smooth moan and pulls her head back.
He thinks, what of her burns? It hasn't been that long. But he looks
and can hardly make anything out. So he plays with her labia some more
and she moans again. Finally he thinks, to hell with the massage, and
he leans down to lick her clitoris.

"Oh Geoff. Yes!" She pulls her head back as far as she can against the
pillows. She puts a hand to Geoff's head. In a minute she pushes her
hips at him and pulls his hair. He sucks on her and moves his mouth
around and she begins moving. She jerks at him and says "Huh!" as she
moves her pubis. "Huh! Huh!" and she's almost coming already. He yanks
down his underwear. When he puts his penis to her it slides in like
she's greased. Fuck into her. She's pushed flat into the mattress and
goes "Huh!" again. His weight has pushed the air out of her. No
stopping now. He fucks again, pushing her flat again. Again she goes
"Huh!" followed by a high-pitched "Oh!" Geoff's pleasure is coming on.
He fucks into her hard, again, again, and then he's over the top and
holds his prick hard inside her, just moving it a little bit, in and
out, push, push, until he's finished coming. Finally he just lies atop
her. It's another minute before he realizes she hasn't caught her
breath. He lifts off her but she keeps huffing. 

"Annie, are you all right?"

"Oh yes." Gasp. "Oh yes." Gasp. "Oh God, Geoff." She pants awhile
longer. It doesn't keep her from needing comfort during the night. 

* * * * *

In the morning Geoffrey wakes to the feel of Anne's mouth on him.

"Anne? What are you doing?" As if it isn't obvious. "You don't have to
do that." He's already completely erect and her mouth flesh moves up
and down over him. He pulls her off him. "Anne. You don't need to."

"Stop it!" She seems almost angry. "You do everything for me. You have
to let me do this for you, Geoff. You have to!" 

He lets her take him in again and in a minute he begins to pant and
pulls his hands into fists at his sides. Anne takes him deeper. Then
he's deeper again. And then he feels the squeezing of her throat on
him. Her mouth is all the way down to his body. Satan must have taught
her how to do it. She holds him, then pulls up and breathes several
breaths, then goes all the way down, down and up, fucking his prick
with her mouth and throat. She stops for more air. Geoff has never felt
anything like it. Down she goes. He can't help it. He holds her head
and starts fucking up into her throat, not even letting her breath. And
grunts "Oh Jesus, oh Jesus" and comes into her. Before he finishes, her
hands have started to move spastically over his torso and thighs. The
moment he can stand to he pulls completely out of her.

Anne coughs and gasps for a moment, but she has a satisfied look. The
two stare at each other, her cheek resting on his thigh, a hand on his
penis. Geoff is too spent to do anything but breath, and it's Anne who
speaks first. "You have to let me do things. Okay Geoff?"

* * * * *

Coda.

That's when it happens. 

Anne finds everything Geoffrey had downloaded from the Web site. You
would think it was well-enough hidden. Geoff had thought so. When he
gets home she is sitting before the computer, staring out the window,
and her hands are in her lap. On the monitor is frozen the last image
from one of her orgasm videos, waiting for her to push the "play"
button yet again. Geoff doesn't know what to say.

"It's what led me to you, Annie," he tries. "It's the only way I could
know to save you."

"I know. I know. But I didn't know everything you saw, or what everyone
saw. You saw me when..." She has to stop. "You saw when he made me want
him."

What can he possibly say? She stares down at the screen. He wonders if
she will forgive him.

But Geoff begins to notice things in the room and knows that isn't the
entire issue. He hadn't noticed when he walked in but now they're
important. Like what? Like she's dressed only in panties and a
sleeveless T, and her jeans are lying on the floor as though kicked
aside. And there's a smell in the room. It's Annie. It's sex. When he's
close enough she almost reeks of sex. It doesn't take long to put it
together. It isn't that she's disappointed in him, at least not that
way. It's something else. He can't believe it at first, but it's the
only answer.

"How many of the videos did you see?"

"All of them."

"All day long?" She turns toward him but doesn't say a word. He makes
his voice soft. "Annie. I can tell. It made you hot to watch them."

Geoff can connect the dots. Did she shiver when she knew what the files
were? Did she wonder why Geoff kept them? Of course she did. She must
have. But, there's the other thing.

How did she come to click one? Didn't that fear of Victor flow through
her? But she clicked one anyway. How did she manage it, manage through
the fear, afraid of what she'd see? How? Maybe it was the other
feeling. Maybe she already had it, that tiny, swelling vibration in her
chest that signals desire. Maybe it was there, the thing in her that
lusts for domination. Maybe she was drawn to it. Still afraid.
Approach, avoidance. But she clicked one. She did. She watched one. She
saw Victor control her and pleasure her and saw herself awash in bliss
from it. Bliss like nothing she'd experienced before him, or since.
That she had to feel again.

"What do you mean?"

"Watching him do that to you. It made you hot."

"Geoff, no! Those feelings aren't there anymore. Please believe me. You
have to believe me. I don't want any of that. Ever." She takes both his
hands and stares him in the face. Her would have apologized, but her
right hand is redolent of musk. Geoff makes a point of smelling it.

"Annie, please. Even though you're afraid of him you got hot."

Her eyes get big and she drops his hands. "No! Stop it!"

"Then stop lying to me!" 

Silence. He last raised his voice last year. He remembers the details.
This room. After Anne's sex cries. After Victor's beautiful voice and
his oily analysis, "Well Anne, love. It looks like you're going to have
to explain things to him earlier, rather than later." He remembers
Victor's look of satisfaction when he left. He remembers shouting at
Anne afterward. Now her face has crumpled and she cringes like she
cringed last year. Geoffrey can't catch his breath. Here's how it
finally ends, he thinks. 

"I'm sorry Anne. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He's blinking so he won't cry.
He's trying to control himself. He doesn't want to be weak now. "It's
just that I love you and I'm going to lose you again and I don't know
what to do." He can't control himself.

Outside the window, at the edge of the yard, is a row of white pines.
Just beyond is a rise, and on it are impossibly tall southern pines,
and red oaks whose leaves haven't yet fallen. A blue norther is pushing
through. The sky is clear and sunny and the southern pines and the oaks
sway together, far over, then the tops seem to twist around each other,
around and back, in a dance. A single red leaf detaches itself and
dance-dance-dances across the sky until it dances out of sight.

Anne straightens up. She wipes her eyes, crying again. They both are.
It's the way of the world. You go a long time without a single tear,
but when the time comes there's nothing else to do. She steps up to
Geoff and puts her hands on his shoulders. He's a statue. She touches
her forehead to his chest, then raises her face to look at him.

"Geoff, you're not going to lose me. I wouldn't do that to you. Not
again. I love you too much." 

Geoffrey steps back from her. 

"I believe you. But I can't give you that one thing. He could. We both
know it. I'll work on it. We can try things. But if it's not enough..."
His voice is high and tight and it finally breaks. "If you have to
leave... it'll be okay."

She pursues him. She hugs him to her. "I wouldn't do that to you. I
couldn't. Geoffy, you silly idiot, I'm with you for the long haul." 

He pushes at her arms but she doesn't let him get away. 

"I know you don't have any reason to believe me. I know I'm a bad
prospect. But give me the chance and I'll show you." She kisses
Geoffrey on his cheek, his mouth, his nose, his chin. She pulls his
forehead down to hers and rubs her nose over his, and he stops crying.
He wipes his eyes and she says, "No one else could do what you've done
for me. For me. My own Superman. And you're still such a sweet, silly
guy, so uncertain and vulnerable. There's no one else like you. Please,
please, don't worry about us."

Geoff is done backing away. He wipes his entire face, then rubs his
hands on his pants. The wind rattles something attached to the house.

"Well, I want you to know. I couldn't stand making you go through life
feeling part of you was cut off. So I'd be your base. If you needed
me."

"I won't! Don't say that, Geoff!" She breaks away from him, turns her
back. Her back is stiff, her arms straight down at her sides, her hands
clenched.

"Just promise me one thing. Don't let it be Victor. He's out there.
He'll want you again." Anne tries to say something but Geoffrey rushes
on. "I can feel it. If he calls or writes or sends an email or
anything, don't respond. Don't meet him. I couldn't stand it if he got
you again."

There's a long silence while Anne's hands unclench and her head droops.
She pulls her hands up to her face, then drops them and turns back to
him. She takes one of his hands in both of hers. Three wet hands. 

"I promise Geoffy. I promise."

End.


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