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Message-ID: <42904asstr$1055473814@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: "Kenn Ghannon" <kennyg@ameritech.net>
NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 20:00:06 EDT
Subject: {ASSM} The Nature of Man.  Chapter 7.  (No Sex)
Date: Thu, 12 Jun 2003 23:10:14 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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The Nature of Man

By Kenn Ghannon



The Rules

I thought, before we got to the actual reading of this story that we should
set down a couple of ground rules:

1) This story involves frank and explicit descriptions of sex.  If it is
immoral or illegal in your area to read about topics of this nature, please
quit reading here.  If you don't want to read about topics of this nature,
please quit reading here.  (I don't, by the way, agree with the legal
aspects of this.  I believe that the United States, as a society, has gone
too far in putting the onus of maturity on a rather arbitrary physical age.
I've known 13 year olds who were far more mature than some 40 year olds.  Of
course, this may be the exception to the rule, but still.)

2) If you are looking for a story where everyone is always happy all of the
time, please find another story.  If you are looking for a story where
everyone is always sad all of the time, please find another story.  Reality
is somewhere in-between these two extremes and I try to write as near to
reality as an erotic fantasy can get.  Do I succeed?  Only you can tell me.

3) If you are looking for a story that absolutely revolves around sex, sex,
and more sex, please find another story.  I *WON'T* write one of those.
There is sex here, but only as a function of the story.

4) Everything you read here is fiction.  It never happened, so I am
definitely not writing about YOU.  J

If you've read this far, I hope you enjoy this.



Dedicated with respect to Frank Downey.



Chapter 7



Another day of school let out and Shawn and Christina were walking through
the overcast winter air to the coffee shop.



"Hey, Chris?" Shawn asked softly.  "What's up with Eric?  Ever since THAT
night he's kind of been avoiding me."



"I honestly don't know.  He's been avoiding me too - and that's extremely
hard to do when you live in the same house!" Christina chuckled.  "I'm not
too worried about it, though.  You have to remember that his sister came out
of her catatonia that night.  He's been spending every single second with
her."



"Yea.  I know.  I just wish," Shawn started, but fell silent her eyes
falling to the ground.  What did she wish?  Everything that she felt was
kind of hard to put into words.  Christina was walking around like nothing
had happened THAT night.  Like it was just another night and just another
movie.  Something HAD happened though and no amount of sweeping it under the
rug was going to take it back.  "I just wish he'd talk to me, you know?  I
was kind of hoping that maybe he'd.you know.ask me out again."



Christina regarded Shawn silently.  Where was this coming from?  She'd never
seen her friend so obviously infatuated.  And after only one date?  Granted,
Eric was a nice guy and kind of cute in a non-threatening sort of way.  But
he wasn't all that.  It just didn't make sense.  "I'll tell you what, Shawn.
I'll talk to him tonight, okay?"  She heaved a long sigh.  "I guess I've
been meaning to for some time now, but I didn't want to take him away from
his sister."



"How is she?" Shawn asked, a note of concern entering into her voice.



"She's doing really well, from what I can tell.  It's only been two weeks
since she's been home, but she's adjusting well.  The doctor's gave her a
mostly clean bill of health after keeping her for a week at that hospital.
You should have seen Eric then.  I thought he was hard on my folks the night
she 'came back'.  He lit into the doctor in charge like something else when
they said they wanted to hold her for observation for a while.  I wasn't
sure, but I think Eric was about ready to punch the poor guy out.  Lucky my
dad was there."  Christina laughed at the memory.  "Gwen still has to do
physical therapy - three times a week - but she seems to be getting much
stronger.  Of course, having a way over-protective brother hovering over her
every second of the day is starting to annoy her, I think.  I'm not sure he
lets her breathe if he hasn't breathed the air first."  She didn't mention
the screams in the middle of the night from the nightmares the girl was
having.



Shawn looked like she had more to say, but at that moment they reached the
coffee shop.





Christina cornered Eric as he was going into his room later that night.



"Hey, Er.  Got a minute?"



"Um.  Sure.  What's up?"  Eric looked decidedly uncomfortable.  His eyes
moved around the room.everywhere except at Christina herself.



She followed him into his room and shut the door.  "I was talking with Shawn
earlier today.  She was asking about you."



"Oh?" A flash of relief flitted over Eric's features for a second.  "What
did she say?"



"Well, I'm not going to give you all the GORY details.but I think she'd be
agreeable if you were to, say, ask her out again."



Eric hesitated a moment.  He sat down on the edge of his bed to cover his
nervousness.  On the one hand, he really DID want to see Shawn again.  He
hadn't stopped thinking about her, of course.  Well, daydream about her,
anyway.  And night dreams.



A rash of guilt ran over him at his train of thinking.  He had to take care
of Gwen which meant he shouldn't even be thinking about Shawn.  All of his
attention should be completely focused on making sure Gwen was getting
better.  Why did Shawn keep intruding on his thoughts, even when he knew she
shouldn't be there?



"Maybe.maybe later.  After Gwen is better," Eric said softly, his eyes on
the floor.  He knew his argument was weak.  In the back of his mind, he knew
that Gwen didn't truly need all of the attention he was heaping upon her.
He had made a commitment, however, and he fully intended to keep it.  Gwen
deserved better than how she had started out in life.



"Come on, Eric!" Christina started exasperatedly.  She noticed that he never
quite looked at her.  His eyes were always.elsewhere.  "Gwen is fine.  Do
you really think she wants you huddling over her all the time?  Give her
room to breathe, cuz!"



Eric was having a difficult time.  He knew it wasn't polite NOT to look at
someone when you spoke to them.but he just couldn't bring his eyes to stay
on Christina.  Not after he'd seen.well.all of her.



"Look.  You just don't understand," Eric began slowly.  He was having
difficulty keeping his emotions in check long enough to get out what he
wanted to say.  "Things were different back at my house.  Not like it is
here.  Gwen.she didn't have the easiest time of things, you know?  She
was.hurt..alot.  Things kept.happening to her."



Christina knew instinctively that what he was trying to say was important.
She had overheard some of the things her parents said about Uncle Donald and
Aunt Renee when they thought she wasn't listening and she knew that Eric and
Gwen's home life hadn't been even close to good.  Maybe, if he could just
get it out to someone he'd be able to relax a little more.



With a sigh, she sat next to him and took his hand in her own.  She wasn't
surprised when he first tried to pull it away, but she held firm.



"Eric.  You can talk to me.  Really."



Eric's discomfort was plainly evident.  All kinds of things flitted through
his mind and not all of them were good.  His throat had gone suddenly dry
and his tongue didn't really seem to be working.  This was closer than he'd
been to his cousin since.well.since THAT night.and he wasn't sure how to
handle himself.  He didn't know how he was supposed to act.  Her concern
seemed genuine, though.



He sat for a few minutes, trying hard to reign in his errant thoughts.  His
cousin no longer was hidden by the fact that she was his blood, anymore.
Ever since that night, he was aware that she was a girl.young woman, really.
All of his fears and anxieties over the whole girl-boy thing came to the
forefront of his mind.  He was trapped.



He knew as well that he needed to tell this to her.  To make her understand.
Maybe if she understood what he was talking about, she'd help him.  She
would see that what he was doing was necessary for Gwen's well-being.  She
needed to know that Gwen needed him to take care of her.because no one else
had taken care of her in a long, long time.



"My dad was a drunk," he began slowly.  He wasn't surprised to find himself
sweating.  "I don't mean that as a bad thing.  It's just what he was, like
your dad being tall and your mom being a blonde.  Everyone has these little
drawers that they fit in.  My dad's drawer was being a drunk."



"It would have been better, I think, if he had married someone that could
stand up to him.  Someone that could make him see how he got when he was
drunk.  Instead, he married my mom.  I don't think my mom ever stood up to
anyone or anything in her life."



"I'm not sure when it started, really.  It was going on as long as I can
remember, so it had to be a while.  My dad wasn't a happy man, even when he
was sober.and that was rarely.  He was miserable for some reason.I never
found out why.  We could see he wasn't happy when he was sober.but when he
was drunk.well, we could FEEL it.  He hit us.  A lot.  He hit me and mom and
he even hit Gwen."



"I remember when Gwen was born.  My mom told me that I was her protector.
That it was my job to make sure that no one ever hurt her.  I thought, at
the time, that I was going to be.you know.a big brother.  Heck.I was only 5
at the time.maybe 6.  I guess I didn't know what it meant, really.  But she
made me promise.I remember that, as plain as I'm sitting here.  She made me
promise that I would watch out for Gwen.she said it so seriously.  My mom
was always serious.but this time she was even more so."



"So I did.  I helped take care of Gwen.  It wasn't hard.not at first.  I'd
spend the day at school, get home and try to avoid my dad at all costs.  My
mom was always saying how hard he worked, how tired he was when he got home.
That I needed to be very quiet so he could enjoy his time at home.  I'd
watch Gwen a little.nothing like THAT,  I was too young to really keep an
eye on her.  But I'd watch her.in my mind, that's what I thought I was doing
though my mom watched me and her both.and I'd play with her.  I think I was
the first person she smiled at.  It was really cool.and I felt like I was
the perfect big brother."



"I don't know how old Gwen was at the time.but I remember daddy coming home
really, really drunk one night.  Gwen couldn't have been very old.she was
just starting to walk.  I remember getting woken up by dad.I think he was
hitting mom around, but I don't know.  I just heard a lot of crashing and
stuff.  I remember hearing Gwennie start crying.  She was in the crib
downstairs.the bedrooms were upstairs, but momma had gotten two cribs one
for upstairs and one for downstairs."



"Anyway, I heard her wake up crying.and I heard.I heard my dad start yelling
about shutting her up or something.  Mom couldn't get her to stop crying,
though.  Then I heard this loud smack.and I didn't hear Gwennie any more."



"I think it was then that I understood what my mom was telling me when she
told me I had to take care of Gwen.  When she made me promise.  It was my
job to take care of her so she didn't get my dad mad."



"I climbed out of bed really quick and ran downstairs.  There was broken
stuff all over the place, but I didn't really pay any attention.  Gwen was
on the floor, and she wasn't moving."



"I ran to her and picked her up.  Her eyes came open when I picked her up,
but she didn't cry.  I couldn't hold her real well, but she didn't struggle
or anything.  I was trying to get her up the steps when my dad caught me."



"I don't really remember much.  I know that my dad threw me up the
stairs.because I remember flying and landing.  I don't know how I did it,
but I managed not to land on Gwen.  I was crying.but I saw him coming up the
stairs after me.  I didn't know what he was going to do, but I couldn't let
him get Gwen.  That was my job, to make sure she didn't get hurt.  So I
picked her up and started carrying her up the second stairs to my room.  I
guess I was lucky daddy was so drunk.because I beat him to my room.  I
closed the door and hid Gwen under my bed.  She didn't say a word."



"My dad kicked the door open.and I didn't even try to hide, because if I hid
he'd look for me and might find Gwen.  I just sat on the floor in a ball.and
let him hit me and kick me until he got tired and went back downstairs.
Honestly, I don't remember much.I think I blacked out once or twice.  It
didn't matter, though.  He hadn't found Gwen."



Eric paused, and tears were coursing down his face.  Instead of pulling away
from Christina, he held onto her hand like it was the only thing keeping him
from flying off into the abyss.  He didn't care about the crying.  He didn't
care about anything any more.  He just wanted to get it all out and over
with.  He needed someone to understand.



Christina was shocked.  She had heard.but she had never really known.  And
all this happened when Eric was 6 or 7??  How had he survived it??



"That wasn't the last time," Eric continued when he was able.  His voice was
soft and breathy, like he had no more strength in his body.  "Not by a long
shot.  I can't remember all of the beatings any more.  It was like, once he
started he couldn't stop.  He didn't even make any pretense of it any more.
Sometimes, I'd be sleeping and he'd just yank me out of bed in a blind sleep
to throw me on the floor at some toys I'd left lying around or something.
Other times, he didn't even try to make a reason.  He just hit and kicked
and slapped and screamed.  He did get Gwen sometimes, but only when I couldn
't grab her quick enough.  She learned to avoid dad like the plague.she
never talked to him, I don't think.  That bothered him a lot, I
guess.because he always tried to hit her, it seemed.  I guess he couldn't
take the fact that she wouldn't even talk to him."



"The last night was really bad.  I don't remember all of it.it's kind of all
bleeding into one big long beating.  I do remember that my mom lost some
teeth that night.  And I remember Gwen.  She had been caught playing in the
basement when he came home and she stayed down there.like I had told her to.
I was trying to get upstairs to hide.but I never made it.  He beat mommy
bad.and he beat me too.  I remember laying where he had thrown me against
the wall.and then I saw Gwennie.  I tried to get there first, but he smacked
her pretty hard against the wall.  I dove in between them before he could
start kicking her though.  I guess I was pretty used to the pain, because I
don't think I felt it any more.I just grabbed Gwen and pushed her up the
stairs to run and hide.  Daddy took it out on me instead."



Eric's story had run its course and he just sat silently.  He wasn't even
crying any more.  He just felt dead inside.  Dead and tired and completely
used up.



Christina didn't know what to say.  She hadn't realized that things were
this bad at Eric's house.  Hell, she didn't know that anything could GET
that bad.  She was stunned and terrified.  Mostly, though, she was awestruck
at the incredible amount of bravery that Eric had shown.



"Eric?" she started softly.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't know."



"That's okay," he replied.  "No one knew.  When the social workers came -
and they did come because all of my bruises and broken bones were just a
little unusual - but when they came we acted like the perfect family.  If
they asked how I'd come to be hurt, I'd just tell them I got hurt playing or
something.  I was very convincing, I guess."



Christina sat for a moment, lost in thought.  "I have to tell you something,
cuz.  You are the bravest person I've ever met."  Then she pulled him to her
and kissed him.



It was only a brother-sister type kiss; pursed lips and only a peck.but it
made Eric incredibly uncomfortable.  "Chris, I don't think."



"Shush," Christina motioned him to silence.  "I know what you're going to
say.  I've been meaning to talk to you about it for the past couple of
weeks.  Somehow, this doesn't seem like the right time or place.but I guess
we've got to get it over with sometime, huh?"



Eric just sat quietly.  Finally he nodded.



"Eric.  I like sex.  I like it a lot.  I didn't think I would, but I went
along with my boyfriend at the time because he pressured me."  She smiled
ruefully.  "I know, I know.  A horrible reason, but that's what happened.
What I found, though, was that I really enjoyed it.  I know it's better to
wait and all that.and I really think that's right and all.  But I didn't.
And I loved it."



"I'm sorry that you got caught up in that, though, that night at the
drive-in.  I guess it's just a little difficult for me to see you as a
cousin, you know.  I mean, I had just met you and I guess I was flirting
with you a little bit.  I know that it's made you uncomfortable - hell, you'
ve been avoiding me since then.  I'm sorry it mad you uncomfortable.I'd do
anything for that not to happen, especially now that I know what you've gone
through.  But it's there and I can't change it."



"And I don't think, when it comes right down to it, that I would anyway,"
Christina continued thoughtfully.  "Look.  You're a part of my family now.
You're like the little brother I've never wanted."  They both laughed a
little at that.  "We - you and I - are going to have to look out for one
another.  I know that there are a lot of hang ups with the whole SEX thing.
I just don't want that to be between us, you know?  Because I don't think of
sex like that.  It's just a pleasurable pastime that isn't much more
intimate than a kiss; heck, I've seen some kisses that were a lot more
intimate than sex, as a matter of fact."



"Chris, I kind of know what you're saying.  It's hard for me, though.  I've
always stayed away from that kind of stuff.  I HAD to.  I didn't have time
for girls, and I was pretty sure that girls didn't want to have anything to
do with me.  So now, I've got a cousin who IS a girl, that I have to live
with and I've seen her.well.you know."



"Naked?" Christina supplied helpfully.  "Er, that's bound to happen.  It isn
't going to matter if we don't let it though.  Look, there's going to be
times when I want to be alone with a guy."  Eric looked a question at her
with his eyebrows.  "Well, maybe not always alone.but look, it would be
easier if I had you to watch out for me.  Sometimes, you might see things
that aren't quite.well.you know.  Kosher.  Still, it's you and me, you know?
Then, when you finally get out there.if you do decide to have sex.I'll do
the same to you.  It'll kind of be our secret bond, you know?"



"I don't know, Chris," Eric replied.  "I'm not sure that there will be any
of that for me.  I'm not that much of a looker.and I'm not really that good
with conversations or anything."



"Eric.  You're better looking than you know.  And Shawn REALLY wants you to
ask her out again.  She likes you.  I can tell.  If you don't like her, that
's fine.but tell her that you don't like her.  She's my best friend and I
don't want her pining for my cousin around me, okay?"



"Really?  She said she liked me??"  Eric was surprised.



"You are such a goof.  Haven't I been saying that for the past � hour?"



Eric smiled.  "Well, I guess I could find the time to call her.if you know
her number."



Christina just laughed and grabbed a pen and paper.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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