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Subject: {ASSM} "New Year's Day at the Tittie Bar"  WZB
Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 19:10:06 -0400
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Copyright by Writerzblocked,   2003. All rights, well, you know. Repost and 
archive to your heart's content, just don't charge anyone for it or I'll have
to send Harry Long after you. You all know the rest of the drill by now. I'm 
not big on headers and/or labels, so anyone reposting may feel free to add 
whatever MF, MM, FF stuff they think is necessary.

*****************************************

New Year's Day at the Tittie Bar


<slam>

"Oh.Hey, Jack. Damn, it's freezing out there!"
"Oh, hey there, Mr. Gilbeaux."
"Bob."
"OK, Bob."
"Checked your stocking yet?"
"Uh, no.  Why?  Is there money in there?"
"Heh, you never know." 
"I'll go and check it on my break."
"Pete said he missed a few new folks, so I brought some extras with me just in
case.  Who's back in VIP tonight?"
"I dunno.  A girl, hopefully."
"Heh, well, yeah.  Later."
"Thanks, Mr. Gilbeaux."
"Bob."
"Uh, yeah."

"OK, boys, right back atcha!  Got two more Playgirls coming up on the stages! 
We got Carrie on Stage #1. Carrie, boys.  Jasmine!  Jasmine on Stage #2!  Be
sure to get around the stages and take care of these lovely ladies and show 'em
just how you appreciate 'em doin' it just for you! Remember each and every one
of these girls are available for private table dances, just grab one and haul
'em off to the dancing booths way back in the back there!  Meanwhile, here's
some Creed for you fellas!"
"Hey, Joe, check your stocking?"
"Why?  Is there money in there?"
"Heh, could be."
"Right."
"Hey, is Janet here tonight?"
"Haven't seen her in a month."
"Damn."
"Last I heard, she went over to the Top Hat Club, but that was a couple of
weeks ago."
"Oh, well."
"You see Ares recently?"
"Her boyfriend said she couldn't dance anymore.  I hope to hell HE'S paying her
bills."
"Yeah, she had kids, right?"
"Yeah, two."
"I really liked her. If you see her, tell her everyone misses her."
"I got her phone number, but I don't want to cause any trouble."
"Yeah."
"Oh, well, you know who's back in VIP tonight?"
"Not a clue. It's been a revolving door back there since the new policy."
"Yeah.  I was just getting used to Stormy.  By the way, any idea what this
Super Bowl promotion is all about?"
"All I know is it's some sort of money giveaway."
"And I thought the DJs RAN this club?"
"Yeah, right.  I just show up when they tell me, have a few beers, and try not
to lose my voice."
"Heh, just be sure to check your stocking before they throw 'em out."

"HEEEEYYYYY!!!"
"Hey, yourself.  Where you been hiding, girl?  It's been two weeks."
"I've been in Dallas. I'm a nervous wreck."
"Oh, yeah. How'd it go?"
"The judge is supposed to make a decision sometime next week."
"Mac go up there with you?"
"Not this time. He's in Jamaica with the wife and kiddies."
"Well, hopefully, this time next year, YOU'LL be in Jamaica with YOUR kiddies."
"God, that would be SO cool!  I'm a nervous wreck."
"I bet.  You work last night?"
"Yeah.  It was dead most of the night, but Johnny said we could skip the next
three tip outs for showing up, so it wasn't all bad.  I've got to make another
thousand before next week and I don't know if Mac's going to be able to make
it."
"Well, if anyone can do it, darlin', you can."
"Speaking of which, are you going to be around long?"
"I'm going to eat, but I have to go in tonight."
"OK, I'll see you around then."
"Sure thing.  Good luck."
"Thanks.  I'm a nervous wreck. I need some wine."

"Hey, cutie!"
"Oh, HI, Bob!"
"Did you check your stocking?"
"Yeah.  Oh, was that YOU?!!"
"Yeah, I didn't know there were so many employees in this place until I started
counting. It took almost four boxes of cards."
"Wow. That was SO nice of you!"
"Heh, I mainly stopped in tonight to make sure everyone got one and opened 'em.
 Joe and the door guy both looked at me and asked if there was money in them."
"Oh, that's SO funny! When I got mine, I opened it at the beginning of my shift
when there wasn't anyone here.  The money fell on the floor and everyone
started running to the counter to check theirs.  It was really funny."
"Heh, I bet.  It's just that everyone here treats me so great even though I
don't walk in with four hundred dollars a night like some of these other
guys..."
"I WISH everyone walked in here with four hundred bucks."
"Heh, you know what I mean."
"Yeah, but it was STILL a cool thing to do."
"Does Donnie have the ribeye tonight."
"Yeah, you want one?"
"Yeah, I go in tonight, but not 'till 10."
"Large or small coke?"
"Large. What section?"
"Five."
"Ugh."
"Yeah, tell me about it.  Won't make any money until after 10." 
"OK. Just grab me a table if I'm not there.  Gotta make a trip to my office."

"Hey, Frank. How's it going tonight?"
"Slow."
"Isn't it a little early for Valentine bears?"
"Never too early for teddy bears."
"An elephant?"
"That's a great elephant.  Two girls already came by asking how much.  You
better grab a seat.'
"Maybe next time.  I got to go in tonight."
"Melanie really wants that elephant."
"sigh.  Maybe I'll have some time after I eat."
"Might not be here that long."
"Heh, we'll see."
"Oh yeah, Bob, thanks for the card."
"My pleasure, Frank."

<creak>

"Hey, Bob."
"Hey yourself, Fred."
"Thanks for the card."
"Any time, guy. Hell, I spend more time in here than I do out there."
"Still, not many guys around here care 'bout nothin'.
"You work last night?"
"Yeah.  Slow as hell until after midnight. Then they tore up this place. Took
me twenty minutes to get it all clean."
"Sorry to hear it."
"Not as sorry as I was to have to clean it."
<flush>
"I bet."
"Fucking kids."
"Hey, a customer is a customer."
"Yeah, but damn kids ain't got no money.  Johnny keeps wonderin' why he can't
get no VIP's to sign up.  Hell, all the DJs play is goddamn rap music.  Nobody
with no money wants to listen to goddamn rap music all night long.  Guy walks
in with a suit and tie and money and he don't even stay long enough to LOOK at
the girls."
"Well, I guess they play what the girls want to dance to."
"Fuck the girls.  It's all about the GUYS.  Fucking kids don't even buy but one
or two drinks all night. Cheap bastards."
"Heh, you have a good night, Fred."
"See what I mean, Bob?  You know how to tip.  Fucking kids don't even know what
a fucking tip jar is for. They keep wanting to put their damn cigarettes out in
it."
"Oh, c'mon Fred, it can't be THAT bad."
"Hell it isn't.  If it wasn't for the shoeshines and the pictures, I wouldn't
make no money at all."
"Well, I hope it gets better."
"Not your fault.  Damn kids."

<creak>

"You're running buddy's in a bad mood."
"He made no money last night and I could smell the mess from out here."
"Heh, I guess that WOULD do it."
"Yeah.  Another girl came by while you were in there and looked at the
elephant.  It's not gonna last long."
"Sounds like you ought to ditch the bears and go with elephants."
"Nah, it's just a fad.  The only thing I've learned from ten years of dealing
blackjack for animals in tittie bars is that you can't go wrong with bears."

"Hey Bob, Donnie said it'll be another ten minutes on the steak."
"S'okay, I've got an hour."
"I saw you looking at my elephant."
"Oh, and what makes it YOUR elephant?"
"I saw it first."
"Heh, well you'd better hurry up and go get it."
"I haven't made enough money yet."
"You work last night?"
"No, they tried to call me in, but I had other plans."
"I bet.  Of course some of us working stiffs have to actually WORK on New
Year's Eve."
"Hey, I worked.  Worked at getting wasted."
"They tell me it was slow."
"That's what I hear.  But only two waitresses showed up."
"Uh-oh."
"Yeah, they fired three girls today."
"Really?  Who?"
Cheryl, Cassie, and Nikki."
"Nikki?!!"
"Yeah, she'd been here longer than I have."
"Wow."
"Well, the way they've been hiring girls, they should have expected it."
"Boy, losing Nikki and Cassie really messes up the Butt Graph."
"Butt Graph?"
"Heh, you know how they tell you to stand at the bar when you're not busy?"
"Yeah."
"Well, when you have four or more waitresses in T-backs lined up along a bar,
you get a Butt Graph."
"I see."
"And when you lose two tall waitresses like Cassie and Nikki, it messes up the
whole thing. It's not nearly as fun looking at a straight line Butt Graph."
"Kinda like a dead reading on one of those life-support machines?"
"Yeah, now you're getting the picture."
"I think I'll go check on your steak."

"GODDAMNED BITCH GOT MY ELEPHANT!!!"
"Wooooah, down girl. Have a french fry."
"I don't WANT a french fry. I want my elephant."
"Who got it?"
"That BITCH."
"Well, yeah, OK, I got that part."
"Ooooooh, I hate her."
"And I got that part."
"It's not just the elephant.  Last week she left a huge mess over there after
she ate.  The dancers know they're supposed to bus their own tables if they get
their own food."
"Oh, boy, do I need to go get the door guys or should we just get Johnny to set
up that Jell-O wrestling ring from last year?"
"Hey, now THAT'S a thought."
"I dunno, girlfriend..."
"Hey, I might be little, but I'm FEISTY!"
"I'd put a twenty down on ya."
"You could've just won the elephant..."
"Girlfriend, you know I love you and all, but you're missing the point."
"Which is?"
"If given the choice between spending my money on a house game with a slim
chance to win a stuffed animal, and watching the cutest waitress in town naked
with green Jell-O dripping from various areas of her tiny body..."
"I need a drink."
"Hey, I'm only a MAN!"

"Hey, gorgeous, so they stuck YOU back here."
"Yah."
"Man, this place IS dead."
"Yah."
"What's the matter?  Cat got your tongue."
"Thath funny."
"ACK!  When'd you get THAT done?!"
"Yethterday.  Now I can't thalk right."
"hehe, you thound like Thylvethter."
"Yah, my lithle girl laufth at me."
"Ugh, I can't imagine.  Does it hurt?"
"A lithle at firtht.  But I thuk on ithe to make it numb."
"Heh, green."
"It glowth in the dark."
"Well, I guess all the millions of germs in there now have a nightlight."
"You're funny."
"Hey, Bob!"
"Oh, hey Chris.  Paula here was just showing me her newly-skewered tongue."
"It was great what you did with the Christmas cards."
"Ah, this is kinda like a second home, I spend so much time here. And everyone
treats me great even though they know I don't come in here with a wad of cash."
"Still, let my buy you a drink."
"I don't drink."
"A soda then."
"Eh, thanks for the offer, but I gotta go to work in a half-hour and I'd just
be spending the rest of the night in a bathroom somewhere."
"If he changes his mind, give him one on the house."
"Yeth thir."
"Oh, Chris, what do you know about this Super Bowl promotion?"
"Eh, that's between the owners and Johnny.  You'd have to ask them about the
specifics."
"Thanks."
"No, thank you.  If there's anything else I can do, just ask."
"You wouldn't happen to have a stuffed elephant lying around the office, would
you?"

"Careful, Mr. Gilbeaux, it's getting nasty out there."
"It's Bob,"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry."
"Did you check your stocking yet?"
"Oh yeah.  Thanks."
"I'm going to leave these extras here. Can you have Chris give 'em to the new
folks that didn't get stockings?"
"Sure thing.  How many did you give out?"
"Believe me, you don't WANT to know.  Ya'll have a nice night."
"Thanks, Bob."

<slam>

"Was there money in yours?"
"Yeah." 
"Damn, it must really be nice to be rich."

"Write what you want, how you want, and don't worry about the rest of the
world.  If you do it long enough, eventually they'll catch up."

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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