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From: Jan Vincent <jan123@hotmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} Unexplainable longing (Part One)
Date: Sat, 17 May 2003 17:10:03 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d


Unexplainable longing

By

Jan Vincent, 2003


Dwelling of the guilty party: jan123@hotmail.com




NOTES:

1) This story may not be reposted on any pay site without my consent.  This
story is to be enjoyed for free.

2) This is a more or less long short story.  The build-up is slow but, I
think, realistic. If you want a story with lots of mindless sex, I do not
think this is a story for you. However, if you like some three-dimensional
characters, who are far from sex maniacs, then read on.

3) Oh yes, and comments are welcome!






Jane Southerby was a popular, shy girl.  Long fair hair covered her
blue-eyed beautiful face.  Her body was simultaneously supple and
curvaceous, in spite of her slender frame and 5' 9" stature.

Jane was a girl with a longing.  She didn't know what she wanted from life.
"Teenage angst" they'd call it, a label to describe the confusion many a
teenager tripped over, a label she didn't think it was appropriate to
describe what she felt.  Basically, she was disgusted with her own suburban
life.  She wanted so much more from it, like falling in love with Mr. Right
or be swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor.   No men, boys, she
knew fit into that mold.  She would wonder if she were a lesbian.  However,
the little she knew about lesbians did not appeal to her.  It was okay to be
attracted to a female friend, but it was something totally different if one
came out as a lesbian and took the flak for that momentous decision in a
life of a gay teen in White America.

Jane Southerby had a sister, one year her junior.  Her name was Kate
Southerby.  They obviously shared the same surname, although Jane knew a
pair of sisters who paraded different family names.  When she inquired why
it was so, one of the girls shrugged and said, "Just for the hell of it."
The explaining was cut short with another shrug and an annoyed face of a
post-punk, lip-pierced teenager.

Jane and Kate were good friends and most of times were in each other's
company.  In spite of their closeness, Jane had never discussed her
attraction to other females with Kate.  Jane was afraid of what her sister
would think of her.  Kate was sometimes too judgmental.  Kate was a very
opinionated young woman, who, in her own words, "wouldn't take shit from
anyone." 

One evening the Southerby sisters were watching TV together, a forgettable
episode of "Friends".  They were home alone, as their parents had deserted
them temporarily for a fortnight vacation overseas.  Mother and Father were
a loving couple of parents, although the girls would think of them as
control freaks now and then.

Jane felt very relaxed, eating popcorn while her sister was nodding off.
Kate was tired due to the exhausting week of soccer practice she had gone
through all week.  St. Patrick's soccer coach was a bully with the girls,
but the parents did not mind it as long as the most successful soccer team
in St. Patrick's history kept winning.

"Why don't you go to bed?" Jane asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because," Kate replied, her eyes shut, her head nesting on Jane's shoulder.

Such physical intimacy between the Southerby girls was natural and second
nature to them.  They were close enough to accept solace from each other's
touch.  They didn't shy away from a fleeting peck on the cheek or holding
hands when they were by themselves.

Suddenly, Kate's eyes fluttered open and stared at her sister's face.
"What?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" said Jane, puzzled.

"Why did you sigh?  Longing for someone?  A boy I know?"

Jane laughed, biting another piece of popcorn, which fell from her mouth and
dropped on her cleavage.  She gave a good-humored yelp and before she could
take the popcorn from the nook between her breasts, Kate snatched it and
gulped it with a mischievous look on her sleepy face.

"Hey, that's private territory, a place no man has gone before."

"Well," began Kate, her lips yielding to a smirk, "then this girl has been
where no man has been before."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It shows that you've got no manners, missy."

"Okay," Kate sighed, pushing herself against her big sister, wrapping her
arms around Jane's and resting her head on the older girl's shoulder.  To
change the subject, she pressed on.  "Still, I get no answer from you.  Why
are you sighing?"

"No reason.  Just bored."

"Get a boyfriend.  You won't be bored."

"So, according to Miss Kate Southerby, men are the answer to womenfolk's
troubles?"

"Not necessarily," Kate giggled, her head up again as she stared at her big
sister.  "But sometimes they do help one have some fun."

"Well, apparently not with me."  It was Kate's turn to display her
confusion, her expressive gray-blue eyes becoming a tinge grayer, her pupils
widening almost imperceptibly.  Jane laughed, "It's not like I hate men.
It's more like I love women.  I mean...  girls."

"What are you trying to say?" Kate's head departed from her sister's
shoulder once more.  "That you're gay?"

"Well, let's say that I prefer girls over men," Jane said, her eyes avoiding
her younger sister's, "but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate Brad Pitt or
other hunk like that."

For a moment, heavy silence hung between the two girls.  Eventually, Jane
conjured enough courage to meet her little sister's eyes.  "It's been hard,"
she said, unable to end the sentence.  A slow flow of tears ran down her
cheeks.  Kate shushed her, her twiggy arms going around her big sister's
waist, a comforting gesture stating her sister was not alone with her pain
and doubts.  They remained in that position for a long time.  No words were
exchanged, only the sounds of their breathing resonated feebly in the
spacious den.  Kate had turned the TV off with the remote before regaining
her spot on her sister's shoulder.

"So, have you ever been a with a girl?"

The question came and Jane quaked as though her sister's curiosity was
unexpected.

"No, never found the right one."

"You wish you had?"

"What kind of question is that?  Is the Pope Catholic?"

"I mean, is there a particular girl you have the hots for?"

"Well, if I have, I won't tell you. You may blurt it all out and I may get
into real trouble.  Thanks, but no thanks."

No matter how much Kate begged and cajoled her, Jane did not reveal her love
interest. To get rid of her little sister's nagging curiosity, she called it
a day, returning to her room.  After having stripped down to her panties,
she slipped under the soft sheets of her bed.  She enjoyed the feel of her
naked body against the smoothness of silk, a luxury her parents hadn't
denied her when she asked silk sheets for a birthday present.

Jane Southerby tossed and turned in bed.  She could feel her own
restlessness, provoked by her sister's curiosity,  She was out -- to her
sister, no less.  She could hardly remember the girls she had been
infatuated with except for Samantha Neville. Sam was a lively tall redhead
with a pretty freckled face and wide, fleshy lips.  Sam was a looker,
cheerleader material, if she ever wanted to be one.  Oddly enough, her
schoolmate didn't want to be part of the squad.  She preferred to hang out
with the "skater boys", wearing baggy pants and wristbands a la Avril
Lavigne. Jane had also developed a little crush on the singer, pushing this
feeling to the back of her mind every time she would hear nasty remarks
about the Canadian teenaged star.

Three days later, Jane was in the kitchen doing her homework on the kitchen
table.  It was a hot day, summer was closing in at a rapid rate.  Her cotton
T-shirt seemed too warm a garment to be used on such a sweltering day.  If
she were a boy she would have stripped to the waist, feeling the freedom of
being a male, wearing shorts without a second thought.  In spite of this
reasoning, she liked to be who she was.  She knew she was attractive enough
to be asked out by boys and whistled approvingly when she passed by some
idiotic construction workers.  She loved her long hair, and her breasts were
developing quite nicely for her age.

After a while Jane could not stand it anymore.  She removed her T-shirt,
propping up the falling straps of her bra, and returned to her homework.
Ten minutes later she heard someone walking on the lawn.  Familiar footsteps
preceded an usual greeting.  Kate was home and she made sure her sister was
aware of that. Jane sighed and kept scribbling away in her notebook.

"Is that hot?" Kate asked, eying her sister with amusement.

"Yeah," Jane replied with a neutral tone.  She kept writing as if she were
by herself in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?  Homework?"

"No, I'm just having lots of fun!"  This time Jane looked up and stared at
Kate, who was staring back at her with her standard taunting smile,
something Jane found utterly irritating when they were younger.

"Guess who asked about you today?"

Jane blinked her eyes as though she hadn't understood the question.  But she
had.  Jane just didn't know what to expect from her little sister, now that
Kate knew her big sister might be partial to some female loving.

"Don't wanna guess?"

"Who?" Jane asked, meeting her sister halfway.

"Sam Neville."

Despite herself Jane felt the heat on her cheeks.  She had tried to prevent
her feelings from showing but had failed miserably.

"Bingo!" Kate cried out.  "I knew it.  I knew it!"

"No, you don't know anything!" Jane shot back, storming out of the kitchen
with a quick, nimble bound.

Jane was chased after by her sister up the stairs and into her room.

"Janey, come on!  It's no big deal.  I was just teasing."

"Yeah, right."  Jane let herself fall on her bed.  Her long pale blond
tresses sliding down her face and shoulders.  She blew her hair away, but
the light long strands kept her face half hidden.

"I was," Kate stated. "I swear."

"You just know how to make me mad."  Jane shook her head, removing the last
locks of hair away from her eyes.  "Why are you always like that, when you
know how much I hate it?"

"Because you're so predictable.  You're so... fucking predictable."

Jane stared at her sister, and her angry expression gave way to contained
amusement.  She chuckled.

"See?  I knew you would laugh in the end.  I know you."

Jane sighed, sitting on her bed.  "Yeah, you know me.  And I must add, lucky
me."





A few weeks later, Jane Southerby sat next to her best friend in St.
Patrick's South cafeteria.  Her best friend was Nicky Beagle, a young man
who was supposed to be her boyfriend but never had reached that status in
her mind. They had kissed a long time ago, but all that was past now.
Jane's eyes meandered the room until they fell on Sam Neville, the redhead
she'd supposedly fallen in love with.

"Where are you looking at?" Nicky asked.

"Nowhere," she said with some disguised alarm.  'Shit,' she thought, 'I'm
dead meat if he can read my mind.'  On the other hand, she imagined to be
one of the guys, so that she could make lustful comments on how hot Sam
Neville was without being considered "weird".  Because she was a female, she
had to be content with watching and keeping her mouth shut.

Suddenly a familiar voice said, "Hi, Janey."

Jane turned around and saw her sister Kate.  "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, this is my school too, remember?"

"Yeah, I do.  But you never come to this cafeteria.  You always go to
North."

"Yeah, you're right about that.  I wanted to see you, though.  Can I join
you?"

"Oh, please do," said Nicky immediately.

Jane looked at him, finding his eagerness at the same time annoying and
comical.  She could see Nicky found her sister very attractive.  After all
she was his best friend, and she knew to discern desire in those brown eyes
if there was some to be found.  Jane had seen it before, when they were
supposed to be more than friends.  She realized how weird it was that her
best friend and her little sister had never seen each other before.  She
realized she'd been living two parallel lives, two worlds that had never
crossed each other before.

"Have you seen who's there?" Kate whispered into her sister's ear.

Jane moved away from her sister and shot a menacing look at her, making sure
Kate understood that subject was not to be discussed in front of
"strangers".  Nicky was not a stranger, though, she realized.  Still, her
anger and fear did not subside with that thought.  "So, why do you want to
see me?  Can't that wait till we get home?"

"No," Kate said, shaking her head, some loose blond locks bobbing up and
down near her rosy cheek.  "I need to know your answer right away."

"What about?"

"Martha Thompson and Ricky Rick are going to throw a party at Martha's
place.  There's going to be free beer and one big chocolate cake made by
Katrina.  Wanna come?"  And as if Kate was hinting at something, she pulled
her brows up twice, then she bulged out her eyes for a split second.  She
broke into a grin.  "Lots of people will be there.  Lots of  _interesting_
people will be there.  Including..."

"Yeah, I get it," Jane cut in, displeased.

"So, wanna come?  I need to tell Martha if you're coming too."

"I don't think so."

"Oh, come on.  It will be fun."

"We'll see."

"Then that's a yes.  Okay, I gotta go.  I am already a little late.  See
ya."

Jane breathed out loudly once her sister was gone, noticing Nicky's eyes
were surely following Kate's ass as she walked away.  She turned to confirm
her suspicion, and what she saw surprised her.  Kate rarely used skirts, but
today she was wearing a short one that revealed a pair of shapely long legs
and covered an appealing behind.  Kate was developing at a fast pace, Jane
realized, closing her mouth and swallowing.  Her sister was turning into a
very sexy girl.

Regardless of what she felt earlier, Jane concurred and went along with Kate
to Martha's and Ricky Rick's party. Martha's house was a white colonial
mansion surrounded by a superbly kept manicured garden.  Beer and half drunk
people already abounded.  She had a sudden wish to make a half turn and
disappear, but her sister's hand gripped her forearm, urging her to tag
along.  Jane sighed and let herself go, plotting an early escape as soon as
she could pull it off without being noticed. And as expected, Sam Neville
was there with her skater boy in tow.

Sam had dyed her hair dark blonde to mimic her heroine of the moment.  She
wore dark eyeliner too.  'Damn,' Jane thought for a moment.  'She's trying
too hard, when she didn't have to.'  That seemingly lack of character by the
girl she secretly worshipped was disappointing.  On the other hand, they
were just teenagers, right?  Still, trying to find their way home... if
there was one.

"Wow, you look amazing tonight."

Jane turned to see Nicky Beagle beside her.

"Nicky, don't say that.  We're just friends, remember?"

"Yes, but friends can compliment their friends, can't they?"

"Yeah, but you have that look on your face," she said drunkenly, even though
she had just gulped half a bottle of beer.  "I know you."

"And I know you," he replied, following her with another sip of beer.  They
paused their conversation for a moment, observing the interactions made by
the other kids in that very large improvised dance floor.  Joe Landry was
the DJ for the evening, and another tall geeky guy she had never seen before
was hanging around him as if he wanted to pick up the necessary skills for a
similar future job.  "Have you seen Sam tonight?"

Jane observed Nicky for a moment before answering.  She questioned his
motives, trying to perceive whether he knew more than he let on. "Yeah.
What about her?"

 "She's trying to look like Avril Lavigne, that faker."

"Who are you calling a faker?  Avril or Sam?"

"Both."

"I thought all boys were in love with her."

"Who?  Avril or Sam?"

"Does it matter?" she said, doing her best not to laugh.

"No, not really," he said, laughing more quietly than in other occasions he
had done when she cracked a joke around him.  "Well, I am not one of them,
if you ask me.  I love somebody else, and you know that."

Yes, she knew who he still loved.  They were friends but, somehow, he still
had hopes that one day she would reconsider her decision.  She tried so many
times to discourage him, but he kept hanging around her.  Sometimes it felt
right to be loved like that, to have someone who really cared just a few
inches away.  Other times it didn't feel that good.  She thought she was
using him, calling their relationship friendship when it wasn't.

Later in the evening, Nicky asked her for a slow dance.  She accepted his
invitation and followed him to the middle of the floor, where other couples
danced and spoke softly into each other's ears.  Stealthily, her eyes would
wander to Sam Neville.  Sam and her boyfriend were caught up in a passionate
session of necking and kissing.  His big hands fondled her breasts over her
loose black T-shirt that read 'Good girls go to heaven, Bad girls go
everywhere.'  It was difficult to see what was really happening as they were
in a dark corner of the room.  Only when the strobe light was on was she
able to fathom if the kissing had evolved to heavy petting.  She felt a
tinge of jealousy.  Her body betrayed her, though; the excitement of being a
voyeur had left its humid imprint in her panties.

Nicky walked the Southerby sisters home, as he used to after a party.  Len
Morocco, Kate's beau wasn't in town.  He had joined the U.S. Marines and was
in a boot camp down in San Diego.  Jane could see her sister was more drunk
than tipsy, which worried her, definitely.  She looked around, but the
street was empty.  There were no cops around.  The idea of going to jail for
having ingested some beer didn't look so ridiculous at that moment.  When
they arrived at the girls' place, Jane thanked Nicky by kissing him on the
cheek. 

"Many thanks, Nicky," added Kate, sliding her slender arms around his neck,
planting a single kiss on his lips. "You were a gentleman."

"Come on, Kate," Jane protested, dragging her sister away from Nicky.
"You're drunk.  Let's go inside."

"Bye, Nick."

"Bye, Kate," he said, with a wide grin on his face.

The following morning Jane jumped awake in her bed. For a moment she didn't
know where she was.  Confused thoughts leaped like crazy, evasive rabbits in
her mind.  When she tried to catch one and understand its meaning it
disappeared in one hole and appeared in another further away.  She heard
someone knock on the door, probably the reason why she had awaken.

"Come on in."

"Hi, Janey," greeted a yawning Kate.  "Sleep well?"

"More or less."

Kate threw herself onto her sister's bed, still yawning.  Her slumberous
eyes were shut a for a while until she gave another long yawn, stretching
out her ribcage, arms and legs.  Involuntarily Jane's eyes drifted to her
sister's breasts covered by a wide cotton T-shirt.  A couple of years ago
they were tiny buds, but now they were two inviting curvaceous protrusions.
And her long, slender legs... Jane didn't understand how she could have
overlooked her sister's blossoming into a very attractive girl.

"Like what you see?"

"What?" Jane asked, the alarm bell ringing like crazy in her mind.

"I know you were checking me out."

"Yes, so what?  I just noticed how..."

"How nice my body is."

"Kate, that's a sick joke, even for you."  Jane jumped off her bed.  Before
she could leave the room, Kate called her name.  She turned to see her
sister beckoning her to close the door and return to bed.  For a while she
wavered between leaving or remaining in her room and face the consequences
of her decision.  She would regret it, she was sure of it, Jane thought
before she swung the door shut and walked slowly toward her bed.

Kate kept calling her with her indicator, as if they were a couple of lovers
with unfinished matters to be discussed in the sack.  To her bewilderment,
Jane realized she was getting excited with the possibility of making love to
her sister.  But her sister was not a lesbian.  She had to be misreading the
signs, seeing things that weren't there.

"I don't mind," Kate said, tapping on the bed, inviting her older sister to
sit next to her.  "I really don't.  I find it funny even."

"What do you find funny?" Jane asked tentatively, sitting on her bed, her
nails scratching her thighs.

Kate didn't speak, twitching her nose and simpering at her big sister.

"I was just... looking, because Nicky has the hots for you and you're
teasing him with your short skirts, something you wouldn't be caught dead
wearing a couple of years ago."

"Hmm," Kate said, her smirk widening into a grin.  "You're jealous."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are.  But I am not interested in Nicky.  He's okay, but he's not
my type."

"And Len is."

"Oh, definitely.  And he's a good fuck too."

"Kate!" Jane protested.  She had never heard her sister talk like that.

"Oh, come on, Janey.  You didn't think I was going to be a virgin all my
life, or did you?"

"No," said Jane, shaking her head.  "You sound like..."

"An adult?  Well, Sis, I have grown up.  Time doesn't stay still, you know.
And you should definitely fuck Sam Neville. She's really asking for it.  Did
you see Sam and her boyfriend last night?  They were all over each other.
But I heard they haven't gone all the way, yet.  I think she's saving
herself for Ms. Right."

"Kate, you're really don't know when to stop."  Having said that, Jane got
up and left the room and her infuriating, pain-in-the-ass sister.





"Where's your sister?"  Cathy Southerby asked her eldest daughter from the
open bedroom door.

"Don't know," Jane replied curtly, hammering away on her computer's
keyboard.  Her stare remained glued on the screen, ignoring her waiting
mother.

"You don't know where she is?" Jane's mother insisted.

"Mom, no, I don't.  I'm not her guardian angel."

"All right, Jane.  No need to be rude."

Soon as her mother left the door, Jane reached for the door with a leap and
swung it shut.  She hurried back to her computer, so that she wouldn't miss
a thing the girls were saying in the chat room.  She had met a couple of
bi-curious girls on the net and she was glad she could talk about her
feelings without holding any feeling back.  One of them had even given her
phone number, so that they could talk more freely.  Her handle was
HottieThing18.  She was 18 and lived in Indiana, or so she said.

Later that evening her parents were mad at Kate.  She had come home at 8 PM
and hadn't called to warn them about her delay.  Jane could hear the
screaming between her mother and her sister, then swift footsteps on the
stairs and in the room hall of their house.  She heard Kate cussing all the
way up into her own room.

Jane was still mad at Kate.  Still, she closed the book she was reading and
wheeled unhurriedly to her sister's room.   Her curiosity about the cause of
that ruckus was greater than her misgivings about patching it up with her
sister.

"Hi."

Kate looked at her sister as she removed the black elastic from her glossy
long blond hair, letting it fall behind her shoulders.  "Hi," she replied,
sliding the elastic around the wrist of her left hand.

"So, what's up?"

"Mom... just being a nag.  But what else is new?"

"I think she was right.  You should've called."

"Come on, she's just a control freak.  I'm 16, almost 17.  I can take care
of myself, thank you very much."

"They were worried about you."

"Oh, that's all I needed.  To be lectured by you too."

"I'm not lecturing you, but if you think it I'm out of here."

Before Jane was able to make true her statement, she heard, "Wait."  She
turned to see a little sister with sad blue eyes.

"Is something the matter?"

"I just had a nasty fight with Len.  He's not gonna come back to L.A. for
the summer.  He said I should go to San Diego and meet his marine buddies."

"San Diego is not that far," Jane offered.

"Yeah, but Mother would fret like hell if I did that.  She'd immediately
think the worst, that I could end up raped and ditched in a dumpster."

"Most likely," said Jane, a smile creeping into her lips.

"What?  That I would get raped?"

"No."  Jane shook her head, her smile a grin now. "That Mother would fret."





Summer came and Jane and Kate were stuck with each other.  Jane still didn't
have a girlfriend.  Sam Neville was a vague memory now.  Only Avril Lavigne
would still stir up some emotion within her disappointment, but all in all
that was fading as well.  She could feel her sister was somewhat
dissatisfied with her own life, too.  Kate had decided not to go to San
Diego and meet her boyfriend and his fellow marines-to-be. Instead, she
stayed at home, lying on the poolside patio, reading magazines and paperback
novels  while the sunrays darted onto her tan skin.  In the evening Kate
would usually go out with her customary girl friend gang and would return a
little too late and too drunk to go unnoticed by her older sister.  Jane
began to worry about her kid sister's behavior, not so much because their
parents could catch her one of these days and have her grounded as because
Kate was becoming a trifle self-destructive.  Jane even wondered if Kate had
started doing drugs, like ecstasy or cocaine.

On a beautiful Sunday morning, instead of enjoying the cloudless blue sky
outside, Jane was in her room, staring at her computer screen and chatting
away with her best cyberfriend, HottieThing18.  Jane jumped on her chair as
the door suddenly came open and her sister Kate breezed in uninvited.

"Morning, Sis."

"Hey, don't you knock anymore?" Jane roared.

"Oh, sorry.  Forgot all about that.  It's just because is such a beautiful
day and I thought...  Hey, what are you doing?  Chatting?  So soon?"

"Yes, but--"

"HottieThing18 and CrazyBlonde17.  Is that you?"

"Get the fuck out of my room, Kate!"

"HottieThing18 and CrazyBlonde17, that sounds so awfully sweet and
romantic."

"Get out!" Jane shouted again, pointing the door, unable to restrain her
embarrassed anger, the heat filling her cheeks with a mighty, undeniable
reddishness.

"Okay," said Kate, giggling. "I am so out of here.  And send my regards to
HottieThing18, 'kay?"

'Fuck you,' Jane thought while she banged the door shut, more angry at
herself than at her sister.  She returned to the computer, but her sister's
giggling and joking left a sour taste in her mouth.  Her will to go on
chatting had evaporated.  She typed an excuse to her cyberfriend and logged
out.  At a slow pace she went down the stairs and found no-one on the first
floor of the house.  She looked out the backyard door and saw that her
sister was having a phone conversation with someone.  She waited for a while
by the stairs, then decided she was going to have a serious t�te-�-t�te with
her little sister.

Soon as Kate saw her older sister, her smile widened, her blue-gray eyes
became sharper and shinier.  Her sister lived to make her live a living
hell, Jane thought, still waiting for her sister to end the phone
conversation that revolved around going to yet another party.

At long last, Kate clicked off her cellular phone.  "No more chatting with
HottieThing18?" she teased, sitting on her favorite lawn chair by the
poolside.

Jane sighed and gave up on having a conversation with Kate.  Her sister was
still in a hopeless mood, and a fight would be inevitable if she didn't let
go.  She was too emotionally exhausted to be dragged into it.  She just let
herself plump down on a chair next to her sister's and shut her eyes,
allowing the sun to caress her face with the warmth of a bright early
morning in Southern California.

"What do you chat about?"

For a moment Jane didn't react.  Her sister's voice seemed serious now, as
though she was genuinely curious.  Jane opened her eyes and faced Kate.

"What do you want to know?"

"The dirty details, of course.  Do you talk about sex?  Sex with girls?"

"Why do you assume HottieThing18 is a girl?"

"Because I know you, remember?" Kate answered with a wink.

"Yeah, she's a girl," Jane said after a moment of respite. "She called once
and I called her back.  She seems a nice girl."

"Why don't you ask her out?  I mean, invite her to come over."

"She lives in another state, Kate.  It's not that easy."

"One more reason for her to come over.  C'mon, be brave."

"Yeah, that's easy to say.  You're not the lesbian of the family."

"Well, sometimes I wonder."

Jane made a double take. "What?" she asked, catching her breath.

Kate lowered her eyes for a moment, then stared at her sister.  She twitched
her mouth as if in doubt and said, "Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't
appreciate... to make love with another girl.  Seems kinda... nice."

"Since when you think that way?" Jane asked with skeptic outrage in her
voice.

"Well, since always. You just never asked me.  You always assumed that I was
100% straight."

Jane's breathing became heavier.  The shock of that revelation made her
shiver from head to toe.  She inhaled deeply to calm herself down.  "And do
you have a particular girl in mind?"

"Yes."  Kate's answer was short and decisive.

"Who?  Do I know her?"

"Hmm, I guess.  Quite well, I think."

"And you're not going to tell me who she is?"

Kate smiled and for a short while evaded her older sister's eyes.  Her
blue-eyed stare landed on her sister's inquiring face once again.  "Isn't
that obvious? "

"What?  What's obvious?"

"Well, sometimes, I swear to you...  You can be so fucking blind."

"What?" said Jane, blinking her eyes, intrigued with her sister's doubts.
She could not understand what was so obvious.

There was a long pause between them.  Kate looked away, turning to the
undulating reflexes coming from the pool, as though she was crushing her
last doubts before she was able to utter the girl's name out loud.

"Jane."  Kate looked at her sister intently.  "It's you.  It's always been
you."

Jane's jaw dropped.  She became numb, stupefied.  "Kate, that's really a
sick joke."

"I'm not joking."

Jane remained incredulous.  She just could not believe her sister was
serious enough, that her words meant something.  She had been burned by her
sick jokes one too many times.

"I don't believe you.  That's sick, Kate.  That's really disgusting."  And
with that she left the backyard and ran down the street as if dark angels
flew after her to bring her to her doom.  She stopped at an empty crossing,
catching her breath, her heart pounding so hard she was afraid she was going
to have a heart attack.  She kept on walking, more slowly this time,
regaining her breath.  She cursed once and then twice, still refusing to
accept that her sister could have been sincere.  "No, that's not possible.
It can't be.  It just can't be."





A week went by of mutual awkwardness.  Their mother began to notice
something was wrong between her two daughters.

"What's the matter with you two?  Aren't you speaking again?"  Cathy
Southerby waited for an answer.  However, instead of one daughter accusing
the other of something, she met with a thick wall of silence.  That was
entirely unusual.  "Jane?  Kate?  Don't I deserve a reply?"

"Mom," Jane finally said.  "We're just tired, that's all."

"Yeah, we're tired," confirmed Kate, staring at her older sister with a hint
of irony in her eyes.  "Mom, don't worry about us, because we're just
tired."  Kate took her breakfast dishes and put them away in the dishwasher
and left the kitchen without another word, leaving any further explaining to
her older sister.

"Jane?  Did you two have a fight?"

"Yes, Mom, but... please don't fret.  We'll be okay, sooner or later.  You
know how we are with each other."

"Yes, like an old married couple," her mother said, with a weary expression.
"Always fighting, always the best of friends.  If you two weren't my
daughters I'd say you hated each other's guts."

"I don't hate her, Mom."

Cathy Southerby took her daughter's hand in her two own hands and said, "I
know, baby.  I know."





This time there was no denial.  The very idea of making love with Kate was
turning Jane on, exciting her senses, making her juices run.  Kate was a
beautiful girl, she had to admit.  And more than that, she didn't hide her
body curves behind baggy clothing anymore.  She seemed to relish she was a
girl, now that her tomboy years were gone.  Her long legs were shown off by
skimpy skirts and her cleavage was no longer a pitiful thing to be seen.
Her breasts were ripe for the taking, round and with a couple of taut
nipples to match.  She tried to fight off this lust for her kid sister but
was unable to.  Her dreams were now populated with hot steamy sex scenes
with Kate.  Her sister kissed her and unbridled passion followed. One night
she woke up and realized she was alone in her bed.  The room was dark and no
one was on the other side of the bed staring at her with a lustful,
mischievous grin.

On the following day, Jane could not take it any longer.  She was going to
swallow her pride and propose a peace treaty.  She knocked at her sister's
door and waited.

"Who is it?" she heard her sister ask from the other side of the closed
door.

"Me."  There was a period of time when she did not hear a sound from Kate's
room.  She was about to leave, when Kate appeared at the door of her room
wearing her pinkish silk robe.

"Yes?"

"Let's talk."

"Okay." Kate opened the door wide, letting her sister in. "Let's."  Kate
grabbed the towel that was on the cover of her bed and weaved it around her
wet hair.  "But before you start I want to make something really clear.
Although I can feel, _felt_ attracted to you, that doesn't mean I want to
have sex with you.  Get it?"

"Yes, I get it."

"So, you still think I'm putting you on?"

"No," said Jane, shaking her head.

"And what are we going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are we friends?"

"Definitely."

"Good."  Kate sent her sister a satisfied smile. "Very good."

 From that moment on, the old familiarity between the Southerby girls made a
comeback.  Jane's spirit was uplifted by the implied peace treaty signed
with words and looks of mutual understanding, but simultaneously it
experienced some hard-to-define disenchantment, an unexplainable longing for
something wonderful, something extraordinary, something that would lift it
above the clouds until it reached the sun and burned like a blinded moth
near a flame.

Days went by uneventful, except for the calls Kate was getting from Nicky.
A diffuse eruption of jealousy went on and off every time Jane witnessed
their easy exchange of words as if her younger sister and Nicky were
long-time best friends.

'Damn that boy,' she thought.  'Damn that boy for letting Kate jerk him
around.'  But then, she realized, hadn't she done the same to him?  Jane
decided she hadn't, shaking her head as if she was talking to someone,
although she was walking down the street by herself.

The words of her biology teacher materialized in Jane's mind.  We all had
selfish genes that want to survive as much as any living person, and the way
they survive is by ensuring they are in the best combination of genes
possible.  And how nature detects a good combination of genes?  Symmetry.
Beautiful people are symmetric, and lack of it is a sure signal of disease
or a bad combination of genes. Your own genes told you to avoid those
people, and only mate with another good combination of genes, making sure
your (selfish) genes would survive you within the genetic makeup of your
children.

Jane was skeptic about this theory.  It reduced the human being to just a
simple sum of genes, when things were far more complicated than that.  This
theory did not take into account her feelings for people who happened to be
girls like herself.  This theory didn't take into account what she felt
about her sister and Nicky.  This theory didn't take into account anything
she found important.  Still, her teacher's words came back to haunt her
daydreams, as though they contained the key to all her problems.

When Jane arrived home she found Kate in the pool.  Nicky and another young
man she had never seen sat at the edge of the pool, their feet dabbing in
the water as they watched her sister swim like the mermaid she was.  The
crew-cut stranger wore dark green shorts, his brawny biceps and chest were
in the buff, displaying a healthy muscle tone.

"Hi, Jane," her sister greeted and waved as she walked toward them.

"Hi, all," she replied.  "So, is my sister putting up a good show?"

"Oh, yes," said Nicky, "she's quite a swimmer."

"Yes, she is," Jane confirmed with a nod. And before she could lay her eyes
on the stranger for a closer inspection, she heard Kate say that Mr.
Universe was actually Len Morocco.

"Nice to meet you," Jane said, shaking his strong manly hand.  "I've heard a
lot about you."

"Only good things, I hope," he said with a white-teethed grin.

Charming, Jane thought approvingly.  In spite of this, she decided for
sarcasm.  "I thought you were in San Diego under the boots of your drill
sergeant."

His grin became conspicuous once more. "Yes, I was.  But now I'm done with
it.  I am a Marine now.  It was a shame Kate couldn't be there during my
graduation week."

"I'm sure she had reasons for it."

"I'm sure," he said with a self-assured nod.

"And you boys have talked about boot camp all day, am I right?"

"Yes," said Nicky.  "Len was just explaining how I could join."

"Join the marines?" Jane was incredulous.  "You can't be serious."

"Why?"  Nicky seemed hurt.  "You think I don't have what it takes to be a
marine?"

"No, it just never occurred to me," she said in a hurry, trying to mend her
faux-pas.  She excused herself and left the poolside patio and rushed in the
kitchen and up the stairs.

In her room she fretted whether she should return to the backyard and see
her sister flaunting her wet body, while the boys watched her every step,
listened to every word she might say.  When Jane looked out the window to
see if that was the case, she felt a presence behind her.  Before she was
able to turn and see her sister wrapped in her pool towel, she heard, "What
are you doing here all alone?  Don't you wanna come down and join us in the
pool?"

"What for?  You're quite busy."

"Oh, Janey.   You're not jealous again, are you?"

"Maybe I am."

"Why?"

"Your boyfriend came back.  And Nicky..."

"What about him?"

"He's really in love with you."

"So?  He knows I have a boyfriend, who would beat the crap out of him in a
blink of an eye if he tried anything.  Boys know this instinctively."

"So, you still on?"

"What?  Len and I?  Why?"

"No reason."

"Janey, I know you.  Why do you ask?  Are you interested in him?"

"Not really.  He's okay but he's not my type."

The girls looked at each other, then laughed together.  "That's why I love
you, Sis," said Kate, embracing her and kissing her on the cheek.  "Come on,
just get changed and join us, okay?"

When Kate left her room Jane trembled as if from cold.  In fact, she was
nervous, a chill had just sped down her spine.  When her sister engulfed her
in her arms she felt the sweet warmth of her sun-kissed body, her breasts
against her chest, the scent of her wet hair and naked skin.  There was no
denying now.  She was hopelessly in love with Kate and she didn't know what
to do about it.

Eventually Jane dressed her bikini and went downstairs with her pool towel.
She forced herself to forget about her self-confession, her self-avowal of
love and lust.  In the end, she laughed and got comforted by the boys'
staring.  Her fears were unfounded, her body was able to catch the boys'
attention.  Her self-confidence returned, eating away the rests of shyness
that doggedly haunted her still.  In the evening when the boys were gone and
her parents were back from their respective jobs, Jane gave a sigh of
relief.  Kate was hers for another half a day.

"It's nice to see you're getting along," their father commented, sending a
meaningful look to his wife.  "Your mother was quite worried with you not
long ago."

"Yeah, Mom frets about everything and anything," said Kate, laughing, taking
another bite off her apple.  "She should know we're not tired anymore.
That's why we get along now.  Right, Sis?"

Jane saw the brazen wink of her sister.  She nodded and smiled, going along
with Kate's teasing.  "Well, I'm gonna take a shower and change," she
announced.

"Great idea," Kate replied.  "I'm going with you."

"Okay," replied Jane neutrally, in spite of the shock that ripped through
her body.  With her pulse revving up, she tore up the stairs with Kate close
on her tail.  As they reached the door of the bathroom, Jane said, "I'm
going first."

"We're going together, silly."  Kate pushed her sister in and shut the door
behind them.

"Together?" Jane said, almost in panic.

"Jane," said Kate, getting near her older sister.  "You're acting as if this
is the first time we take a shower together."  And without delay, she untied
the towel wrapping her hips and legs and let it fall on the tiled floor,
revealing the  exquisite body of a blue-eyed blonde covered by a cool
red-rimmed black bikini.  "What?"

Jane snapped out of her trance, noticing her sister's stare and the shadow
of a smirk sketched on her lips. "What?" she asked in return, protecting
herself from whatever her sister might have seen.

"You were checking me out, again," Kate stated.

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were.  But I've already told you, I'm okay with that."

"This collective shower was your idea," Jane accused, still unsure of
herself and the awkwardness of it all.

"I know that," Kate replied in a conciliatory tone.  "I know what I'm
doing."

"Do you?" Jane asked, surprised.

"Yes," Kate said, pulling a twisted smile.  "I knew you wanted this when you
went jealous on me a little while ago."  She approached her big sister and
slid her arms around her naked waist.  "I thought you were jealous of Nicky,
then of my boyfriend...  Then it hit me, you were jealous of _me_.  I had
proof of it when I kissed you.  You were like... in love."

"Kate," Jane protested weakly, her body melting as Kate's face came near
hers.  "Kate, this is crazy."

"Yes, but aren't you CrazyBlonde18?"

"No, 17."

Kate laughed.  "Oh yes, CrazyBlonde17.  How could I forget?"  She pulled her
sister even closer and kissed her, first tentatively, then more decisively.

Jane's head swam as her kid sister's tongue invaded her mouth and sucked it
dry.  "Kate," she moaned.  "Kate, are you sure about this?"

"Hell, yeah," Kate replied, giving her sister another soul kiss.  "Don't
fret.  You're not Mom."

Jane would have fallen backward if Kate hadn't held her up.  Her legs became
rubber, her breathing ragged, almost painful.  She felt her sister's hands
pressing against her sides, then moving up her back, fumbling for the top's
snap.  With ease she unhooked it, making her breasts available to her
frantic hands, while her wild tongue rummaged her mouth for hers.  Jane
moaned again.  "Kate, let's go to the shower or Mother may..."

"Fret?" Kate said with an impish expression on her flushed face.

"Yes," Jane replied in a whisper.

"Okay.  Let's."

Kate slid off the two pieces of her bikini and turned the shower faucet on.
Jane followed her, releasing a yelp of contentment.

"Lose this," Kate said, pulling down her sister's bikini bottom. "You won't
need this in here.  It's only us girls."

"Whatever you say, missy."  Jane laughed, her hands and arms crazy with
lust, lust for her kid sister. She could not hold back anymore.  She gave
Kate a powerful kiss, her hands pinching her nipples.  Kate smiled a wild
smile, surprised by her big sister's sudden initiative.

"Oh, that felt nice.  Do it again, Jane."

And she did.  Her hands glided down her sister's wet body, caressed by the
falling drops of water.  Her hand slipping in her sister's sex, feeling the
wet folds inside, engorged by desire.

"Oh, fuck," Kate cried into her big sister's ear.  "Jane.  Please, don't
stop."  Her hips pushed forward, impaling her cunt into Jane's fingers.

"Make me come," Kate begged.  "Jane, make me come."

"Yes, baby." Jane's fingers frigged the younger girl with urgency.

"Oh, Jane, that's it."  Kate's hands played with Jane's nipples, hard with
desire, blinding crazy desire for her.  "Bang me against the wall.  Come on,
honey.  Do it for me."

Jane thrust her sister against the tiles of the wall, licking her nipples,
her tongue drawing slow curves around her Kate's belly.  Slowly, her tongue
approached Kate's thighs, making her wait and desire for a tongue flick
uncovering a hot, pulsating nub between two pairs of wet lips.  Kate
trembled, seemingly crazy with lust.

"Janey, you're such a tease.  Come on up and fuck me with your fingers."

Jane obliged, her fingers like pistons coming in and out, maintaining an
urgent rhythm.

Kate remained very quiet when she came, catching her breath. Limp and weak
she embraced her sister, kissing her neck, and repeating incessantly, "Thank
you, thank you, thank you."

Jane smiled.  "Did you like it?"

"Fuck, yes.  It was amazing.  But don't move your hand.  Just keep it inside
for a while, please."

"Okay," Jane said, grinning.  "Whatever you say."

Jane and Kate kissed again for long minutes without stopping until they
heard their mother knock on the bathroom door, announcing the dinner was
ready.  Reluctantly the girls removed their hands from each other and
hurried up with their shower.  Confused thoughts ran in Jane's head.  It was
a mix of fear and exhilaration she had never experienced due to its
intoxicating intensity.  'Is this how it feels when you're in love?' she
asked herself.  'Was Kate it?'  She didn't know.  All she knew was that
unexplainable longing was there to haunt her still.  Someday she would found
out why.



End of Part One

(Want more?  Make sure you let me know. Thanks.)

-jan

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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