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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2003, April
Date: Sun, 11 May 2003 09:10:04 -0400
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Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2003, April
Part: 4 of 2003
Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards
Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the
Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories
and good authors.
Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards
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The April 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation:
My Muse and I have always been proud to make The Silver Clitorides
Awards presentations from interesting locations. Not for us the
formal ballroom or auditorium (at least, not often) - we prefer
variety. That's why we were so pleased to be invited to Stevey
Austin State U for commencement ceremonies.
Of course, that was before we were told that SFA had recently
instituted "The Program." You know the one. Think Karen Wagner,
Carl and Beth, Dee and Adhara. That's right, the "Nekkid in School"
program. Being an institute of higher learning, they went "all
out." *Everyone* participates, students, faculty and staff. The
Powers That Be in Nacogdoches had supported the school by
decriminalizing public nudity for all ages.
Yes, there was a "clothing optional" visitor's section in the
William R. Johnson Coliseum, but it was in the "cheap seats."
Nobody who wouldn't shed would be in a good position to ogle the
student body. Bodies. Whatever.
The procession began approximately 20 minutes prior to the stated
start time of the ceremony. It was certainly fun to ogle the
students as they entered, and my Muse must have enjoyed it, too, as
she began to softly hum "Elephant Walk." She'd traded notes with
Sailor Jim's Muse, I could tell. A grinning French Professor (Not
at all Moody) whispered "Boingy, boingy boingy," to her and they
both cracked up behind their hands.
Once the procession was over, the various bigwigs made their
speeches and introduced the guest speaker. He didn't get very far,
as commencement addresses go. He said, "When I first received the
invitation to speak at your commencement ceremony, I thought back to
my own graduation many, many years ago and you know what? I can
remember neither the speaker nor what he or she said. The only thing
I remember is that we all wanted it to be short." There was much
tittering and giggling. With a confused expression, he continued,
"So I will try to keep my message short, recalling from my own days
at UNC that the person who lectures is sometimes the one who talks
in other people's sleep.
"What I'd like to do this morning is say a few words about
leadership. Here's why. Each one of you, by choosing to come..." The
tittering and giggling resumed. "Oh, stop. By choosing to *attend*
college and sticking it out..." Snorting and laughter. "Come on,
people, grow *up*. I mean, show some maturity. Where was I? By
attending college, staying the course and earning a degree, you're
saying something important to society. You are saying that you want
to lead.
"You want to be leaders in the workforce, in your profession, and in
your communities.
"An admirable goal. But how does one learn to lead? The Greek
philosopher Aristotle told us that we learn to lead by leading, by
practicing the skills that are required to move men and women in
concert toward a common goal." Several graduates in the front
section began practicing, some of them Greek style. "Hey, it isn't
funny anymore. Just let me finish the speech, please. Ah, screw it.
Go get a job! I'm outa here. Thank you, and good day."
Several other speakers managed to grin through speeches fraught with
double meanings, before Souvie was introduced. As part of the
introduction, Souvie received her own sheepskin, a special honorary
degree, a Bachelor of Arts in Pornography. (This was conferred in
addition to the regular degree she was to receive with her classmates
in her private persona.) Taking the scroll, and shaking hands, she
then moved her tassel to the other side and approached the podium.
Have I mentioned the podium? It was a transparent acrylic, slightly
convex toward the audience. As such, it tended to act as a
magnifying glass... Anyway, Souvie began to speak.
"Mr. President, Distinguished members of the faculty, fellow
graduates, friends and family... My Favorite English Instructor, Dr.
Leeds, tells us that if we feel nervous, we should picture the
audience naked." She paused while an appreciative laugh swept the
auditorium. "Well, I must be completely relaxed.
"I could give a wonderful speech full of inspirational messages and
encouragement, but I'm really standing before you in my internet
persona only to use a first line given to me by a friend while I
flash." She paused until the laughter subsided. "That first line
is:
"The winner of the Silver Clitorides Award for the best story of the
month of April, 2003, is 'Playing to Win: Playing the Game II,' by
Reverand Cotton Mather.
"Congratulations, Rev! And congratulations to all the authors,
Finalists, and Nominees!"
As I clapped I thought, "I couldn't have said it better myself."
The April 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Winner:
Playing To Win: Playing The Game, Book II
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/ReverendCottonMather/www/ptw.htm
by Reverend Cotton Mather
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/ReverendCottonMather/www/
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The April 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Finalists:
Lap Dancer http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41977
by KatieMcN http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kat/wwwieMcN/
Molly's Fortune http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/fortune.html
by Ann Douglas http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www
Newton's Laws of Emotion
http://www.cleansheets.com/fiction/kimera_04.02.03.shtml
by Mike Kimera http://www.cleansheets.com/toc.shtml
Playing To Win: Playing The Game, Book II
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/ReverendCottonMather/www/ptw.htm
by Reverend Cotton Mather
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/ReverendCottonMather/www/
Taboo Diary http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41784
by Brad Johnson
http://assm1.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=johnsonb111@yahoo.com&
amp;index=email
The Tutor http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/the_tutor.htm
by Dorsai http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/
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The April 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees:
A slight change of plans...
http://groups.google.com/groups?q=%22A+Slight+Change+of+plans%22&hl=en&
amp;lr=&ie=UTF-8&newwindow=1&safe=off&
amp;selm=3e9a28e6.47846375%40news.onramp.net&rnum=5
by Souvie http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Souvie/www
Aftermath http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/aftermath.html
by Number 6 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/
Afraid http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/afraid.html
by Dryad http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/
Crush http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/story/crush.htm
by Uther Pendragon http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/
Double Dealing
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/double_dealing.txt
by Vulgar Argot http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/
Evilena: Sweating in the Doctor's Office
http://www.mcstories.com/EvilenaDoctorsOffice/EvilenaDoctorsOffice.html
by Mistress Evilena's Servant
http://www.mcstories.com/EvilenaDoctorsOffice/index.html
Female Plumbing Problems
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/plumbing.txt
by Vulgar Argot http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/
Lap Dancer http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41977
by KatieMcN http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kat/wwwieMcN/
Letters to Myself http://www.erotica-readers.com/GD/Q-Letters.htm
by Mike Kimera http://www.erotica-readers.com/ERA/index.htm
Molly's Fortune http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/fortune.html
by Ann Douglas http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www
Newton's Laws of Emotion
http://www.cleansheets.com/fiction/kimera_04.02.03.shtml
by Mike Kimera http://www.cleansheets.com/toc.shtml
Only A Make Believe Girl
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Hartford/Only%20A%20Make%20Believe%20Girl
by Hartford http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Hartford/
Playing To Win: Playing The Game, Book II
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/ReverendCottonMather/www/ptw.htm
by Reverend Cotton Mather
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/ReverendCottonMather/www/
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41784 Taboo Diary
by Brad Johnson
http://assm1.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=johnsonb111@yahoo.com&
amp;index=email Brad Johnson
The Repairman
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/BlackJackDavy/The%20Repairman
by BlackJackDavy http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/BlackJackDavy/
The Tutor http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/the_tutor.htm
by Dorsai http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/
Two Grand Orgasm http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Alexis_S/www/OTB_tgo.htm
by Alexis Siefert http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Alexis_S/www/
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