Message-ID: <42195asstr$1051690209@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net> X-Original-Message-ID: <20030429195251.14372.qmail@nym.alias.net> From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net> X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 29 Apr 2003 19:52:51 -0000 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #026 - 29-Apr-2003 Date: Wed, 30 Apr 2003 04:10:09 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/42195> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: gill-bates, dennyw -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- "Billy Ray was a preacher's son And when his daddy would visit he'd come along ..." -- Dusty Springfield Now, Dusty would make a great character name, don't you think? This issue, we have an eclectic mix. Monsters again, joined by ghosts, pink exhibitionists, the Easter Bunny (you have to be kidding, right?), a guy covered head to toe in casts, a reluctant lap dancer, a voyeur still in the closet, and a motel room somewhere in Texas. Enjoy. - Crimson +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the wind. - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson Review Archives: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www +----------------------------------------------------------------------- If you like the stories contained in these reviews, Rui helps run the Clitorides, which is a "People's Choice"-type award system for exceptional erotica. You might want to nominate any story that tickles you. Silver: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Clitorides/www/Silver_Clitorides.htm Golden: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/Clitorides/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Story Summary: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Monster -- smilodon (caution) [10,0,10,9] Learning with the Ghost Girl -- Ralph Greco, Jr. (sexual awakening, mild femdom, fisting, anal, ghostly sex) [7,6,4,4] Perky in Pink -- Elena (MF, FF, bd, exhib) [9,9,7,8] Sex Monsters From Earth -- Alecia D (Easter Humor M/Bunny Rape Bunny/Bunny Rom Bunny Gangbang) [10,8,10,10] The Injury -- Kellis (Fm oral foot incest) [10,9,8,7] Lap Dancer -- Katie McN (Lesbian FF rom M+F NC viol hum) [10,10,10,10] Affair -- EZ Writer (flash fiction, fdom, bd, voy, caution) [10,8,6,7] Texas -- Medea F.K. (FF, rom, nosex) [10,10,10,10] Reviews: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Monster -- smilodon (caution) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/Monster.htm http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41884 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/ Bob sits drinking in the neighbourhood pub, gaining a mellow state of mind. He walks home where the mellowness evaporates into a cloud of rage. Why didn't she leave the outside light on for him? Why did she lock the door so that he'd have to fumble with his key? Why is his daughter's doll pram in the front hallway where he can easily bark his shin in the dark? And what is he going to do about it? This is a dark story, inspired by the abuse awareness month and writers such as Alexis and Souvie, both of which have tackled the morbid issues of domestic violence. It is a story that needs to be told, but be warned it isn't pretty, and it isn't erotic. Nor should it be. What really frightened me was the realism -- the sense of normalcy that we, as readers, *know* isn't right, and yet we recognise that it exists, however we wish it weren't so. Perhaps stories such as these help expose the ugliness that might not be recognised by abusive perpetrators or those that turn a blind eye to the problem. Perhaps I'm a little overwhelmed by the darkness here, but in that, there is a frightening effectiveness. Certainly worth reading. Technical : 10 Eros : 0 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 9 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Learning with the Ghost Girl -- Ralph Greco, Jr. (sexual awakening, mild femdom, fisting, anal, ghostly sex) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41665 Author's Site: (None available) When our narrator returns home one night from an evening of 'bar hopping', there is a strange woman standing beside his bed. "I am here because you need me to be." And so, they begin their bizarre relationship. Is she real? Or merely a figment of a twenty-one year old's fantasy? [ {From what I could see of her ass it looked delicious} as ever and as I knelt to get my mouth to her covered pussy I smelled {only slightest hint} of her sex in the tight air. ] First paragraph. Missing comma in introductory phrase, and missing article before 'slightest hint'. Not a good sign. The story isn't really all that badly written -- only the odd careless technical issue such as dropped punctuation and word use. Ralph at least used a spell checker, probably Word's flawed implementation. However, spell checks are not a substitute for proof reading. It won't catch times when 'every' is spelt 'ever', for instance. As is typical with stroke-type stories, Ralph starts out telling us about our ghost girl's dimensions (38-C for those that are actually interested), and it doesn't move much past that. While I realise that story codes aren't required, with a story such as this, I can't imagine why they weren't used. Especially with some of the themes involved. I often support the absence of story codes, but they do work particularly well for stroke-type stories, where they aren't revealing anything damaging. Ralph might want to consider investing in their use for future endeavours. [ "You don't need to understand this," she said a minute later, upright and smiling down at me again. "Just enjoy me as I enjoy you ... ] And that about sums the story up. Ralph wants us to enjoy, but not necessarily understand. I think Ralph was trying for a sense of mystery here, but it is lost without adequate characterisation and plot. Merely to mention that a character doesn't understand is not enough to make a mystery -- at least not for me. The story did show lots of potential, though. With a little more character, plot, and focus, I think it could have been more than a simple depiction of young male fantasy, submission and sex. However, to be fair, I think that for what Ralph intended, it is well written, and those that do enjoy this type of stroke-type writing, will enjoy this. Technical : 7 Eros : 6 Character/Plot : 4 Crimson : 4 Editorial Note: Ralph chose not to code this story, nor is he required to. In this case, I think story codes would have been appropriate; the story codes above have been generated by the reviewer, not the author, as an aid to story selection. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Perky in Pink -- Elena (MF, FF, bd, exhib) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41948 Author's other works: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=thefabulouselena@yahoo.co.uk&index=email&submit=Search Ceri (I do like that name ...) arrives at work, dressed in pink, with matching nails and lipstick. She's an adventurous woman, dare I say, a naughty girl ... er ... woman. A small dare has convinced her to go without underwear today, and the mild exhibitionism ends up turning her on. But what when Angela discovers her in the file storage room? This is the fun story of a day in the life of Ceri. I liked the tone, and I certainly liked Ceri's character. There isn't much in the way of plot -- it's pretty much completely driven by the sexual overtones, not many deep messages here, but that's okay once in a while. The story came across as a realistic glimpse into Ceri's life. Not a deep look, but an entertaining glimpse. And it is sexy, in a strange kind of way. Technical : 9 Eros : 9 Character/Plot : 7 Crimson : 8 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Sex Monsters From Earth -- Alecia D (Easter Humor M/Bunny Rape Bunny/Bunny Rom Bunny Gangbang) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Katie_McN/SexMonsterFromEarth.txt http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41927 Author's Site: http://www.katie-mcn.com It takes a sick mind to blaspheme the Easter Bunny. But it is funny. So, here we have Gadsden, a redneck complete with rusted out cars littering his back lawn. Well, one day, you see, while huntin', he stumbles across an Easter Bunny. He sees dollar signs, but figures he needs a breedin' pair. This is his story, and a damn funny one at that. I really don't know how to score this, but suffice it to say, it is different, and it certainly is worth reading. Maybe I'm jess in a strange mood today. Technical : 10 Eros : 8 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Injury -- Kellis (Fm oral foot incest) Story: http://www.kellistry.com/injury.htm http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41763 Author's Site: http://www.kellistry.com Davey is immobilised. After an accident, he finds himself in traction, both arms broken, and one leg, casts covering his body from head to toe. Alone with his thoughts and unable to move, Davey gets rather and understandably horny. Meanwhile, his grandmother comes to help care for him, and ends up teaching him a little more than Davey's mother approves of. This is a different story. At first, I thought it was going to be ... distasteful. I'm not a Dragon that is particularly interested in incest in the first place, nor in granny-sex. The combination should have been deadly. I'll be honest. The sex in this story turned me off, even while I'll be the first to admit that there are those that will enjoy the quality and care projected into the sexual descriptions here. The Eros score below, I must explain, is a bit of a guess. My personal Eros score would have been closer to 3, but I'm trying to be fair here, and project what might be understood by someone more into the niche/fetish than I. The reader may want to be cautious of blindly accepting my guess. Kellis seems to have a knack of addressing the sexual issues through excellent characterisations. I found the characters to be believable, the story line intriguing, and the topics well handled -- at least by the end of the story. I liked the kid, but I especially liked the mother. I think we were supposed to like her -- in a way -- but Kellis is vague enough that I'm not quite sure what the real intent of the story was. Perhaps, we are meant to think about it. In this particular case, I suppose because of the nature of the themes, I think that the author should have ventured an opinion as to what was right and what was wrong. Kellis doesn't and that's fine. As I said above, I'm pretty sure that Kellis intended for us to think about it, merely presenting the story as it happened, and reserving judgement. *I* think the story suffered somewhat because there was no clear moral, so to speak. But keep in mind that's only one Dragon's opinion. (See -- there -- I ventured an opinion!) Anyway, while it wasn't really my idea of a hot story, it probably is to many. And even if not, Kellis gives us more than a simple stroke-fest, and the story gets even Dragons thinking. Technical : 10 Eros : 9 Character/Plot : 8 Crimson : 7 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Lap Dancer -- Katie McN (Lesbian FF rom M+F NC viol hum) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41977 Author's Site: http://www.katie-mcn.com Mary Kay's life fell apart after Mallory died. In an effort to forget, Mary Kay sets off on a whirlwind of honouring her friend's memory, destiny and exploration. But the worst -- the absolute worst -- are the white lines, and what she must do to support her nightly escapes. I really liked this story. It had a gritty sense of realism that drew me in and showed me things that I'm glad that I've never had to experience. Katie's character here is exceptional -- from her narrator to the people that surround her. I felt like I was there, addicted to the story as much as Mary Kay was addicted to her lifestyle. Smart. Sexy. And full of character, plot, sex and deeper themes. Go read. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Affair -- EZ Writer (flash fiction, fdom, bd, voy, caution) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/E.Z.Riter/Affair%20(Flash).txt http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41726 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/E.Z.Riter/ When the narrator's wife, Peggy, admits to having an affair with Sam, she merely asks if he'd like to watch. And so, huddling naked in the closet, he watches. But when Peggy binds Sam to the bed and invites our intrepid narrator to participate, does he? It's a flash piece, and while there is no doubt that EZ presents a sexy case here, there really isn't much but the sex and a reliance on inherent understanding of the situation. I suspect that's exactly what EZ was aiming for, and while it doesn't appeal to me necessarily, I do think it is successful for what it is. Technical : 10 Eros : 8 Character/Plot : 6 Crimson : 7 Editorial Note: EZ originally coded this story with 'flash'. While there is no requirement to code further, a sleepy Dragon has added a few story codes to the original from EZ as an aid to story selection. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Texas -- Medea F.K. (FF, rom, nosex) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/medea/www/stories/texas.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41762 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/medea/www Our narrator misses the exit, and so they double back to the motel that Beth remembers from a time past. But when they arrive, Beth seems ... downcast and unsure of herself. What if their relationship is a phase that she's going through? What if ... This is a very short story that actually explores some of the deeper concerns and insecurities facing homosexual couples. As some of you know, I'm a sucker for these kinds of discourses, but even so, I think the story has universal appeal to both same sex, and heterosexual readers. All in all, even while there is no actual sex in this story, there is a subtle Eros of friendship and understanding. And I liked it. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.3ia Charset: noconv iQEVAwUBPq7XqUxM3srBk85hAQHMJAf/R/irOjK9vRtLPJRbTZ7/NTR+RqCoMFE8 csQetjWyp/+2Bo33wuV0bLmalEcR/i4PptoSWT8yaJ/4r8xm+LZPwzcnSDZH6wc7 CnvpL7V32U3Qwr8g1dYZrLU+gzZUueX2KsqLuHG8TGkM+n4EFmGDapcjhYtuG1Jp U+iz2EDYO7V1u7rqqcfqS1shPzc8jb3YROycA8sZT7KxXg2vmX9BQRFirXSvA5uy m4Mfc1frsaovE5hC/DSLoYE6iPtThzhrLoX7nzGSl71G1lreUFrpZ9Ah8gJ1jP9r Vo6kqJ774zHTA8vqH7hrY+NznjhnSdXkB3VYjeU/R2/gH0s0/3WjPA== =ugrQ -----END PGP SIGNATURE----- -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> | | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+