Message-ID: <42195asstr$1051690209@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
Return-Path: <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net>
X-Original-Message-ID: <20030429195251.14372.qmail@nym.alias.net>
From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net>
X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 29 Apr 2003 19:52:51 -0000
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #026 - 29-Apr-2003
Date: Wed, 30 Apr 2003 04:10:09 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
X-Is-Review: yes
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d
X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/42195>
X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com>
X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com>
X-Moderator-ID: gill-bates, dennyw

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

"Billy Ray was a preacher's son
 And when his daddy would visit he'd come along ..."
                                  -- Dusty Springfield

Now, Dusty would make a great character name, don't you think?

This issue, we have an eclectic mix. Monsters again, joined by
ghosts, pink exhibitionists, the Easter Bunny (you have to be
kidding, right?), a guy covered head to toe in casts, a reluctant
lap dancer, a voyeur still in the closet, and a motel room somewhere
in Texas.

Enjoy.

 - Crimson

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only 
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the 
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author 
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the 
wind.

 - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson

Review Archives:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you like the stories contained in these reviews, Rui helps run
the Clitorides, which is a "People's Choice"-type award system
for exceptional erotica. You might want to nominate any story that
tickles you.

Silver: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Clitorides/www/Silver_Clitorides.htm
Golden: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/Clitorides/
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Summary:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Monster -- smilodon
    (caution)
    [10,0,10,9]

Learning with the Ghost Girl -- Ralph Greco, Jr.
    (sexual awakening, mild femdom, fisting, anal, ghostly sex)
    [7,6,4,4]

Perky in Pink -- Elena
    (MF, FF, bd, exhib)
    [9,9,7,8]

Sex Monsters From Earth -- Alecia D 
    (Easter Humor M/Bunny Rape Bunny/Bunny Rom Bunny Gangbang)
    [10,8,10,10]

The Injury -- Kellis 
    (Fm oral foot incest)
    [10,9,8,7]

Lap Dancer -- Katie McN  
    (Lesbian FF rom M+F NC viol  hum)
    [10,10,10,10]

Affair -- EZ Writer
    (flash fiction, fdom, bd, voy, caution)
    [10,8,6,7]

Texas -- Medea F.K.
    (FF, rom, nosex)
    [10,10,10,10]

Reviews:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Monster -- smilodon
    (caution)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/Monster.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41884

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/

Bob sits drinking in the neighbourhood pub, gaining a mellow state
of mind. He walks home where the mellowness evaporates into a cloud
of rage. Why didn't she leave the outside light on for him?  Why did
she lock the door so that he'd have to fumble with his key? Why is
his daughter's doll pram in the front hallway where he can easily
bark his shin in the dark?

And what is he going to do about it?

This is a dark story, inspired by the abuse awareness month and
writers such as Alexis and Souvie, both of which have tackled the
morbid issues of domestic violence.

It is a story that needs to be told, but be warned it isn't pretty,
and it isn't erotic. Nor should it be. What really frightened me was
the realism -- the sense of normalcy that we, as readers, *know*
isn't right, and yet we recognise that it exists, however we wish it
weren't so. Perhaps stories such as these help expose the ugliness
that might not be recognised by abusive perpetrators or those that
turn a blind eye to the problem.

Perhaps I'm a little overwhelmed by the darkness here, but in that,
there is a frightening effectiveness. Certainly worth reading.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :    0
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :    9

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Learning with the Ghost Girl -- Ralph Greco, Jr.
    (sexual awakening, mild femdom, fisting, anal, ghostly sex)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41665

Author's Site:
(None available)

When our narrator returns home one night from an evening of 'bar
hopping', there is a strange woman standing beside his bed. "I am
here because you need me to be." And so, they begin their bizarre
relationship. Is she real? Or merely a figment of a twenty-one year
old's fantasy?

[ {From what I could see of her ass it looked delicious} as ever and
  as I knelt to get my mouth to her covered pussy I smelled {only
  slightest hint} of her sex in the tight air. ]

First paragraph. Missing comma in introductory phrase, and missing
article before 'slightest hint'. Not a good sign.

The story isn't really all that badly written -- only the odd
careless technical issue such as dropped punctuation and word use.
Ralph at least used a spell checker, probably Word's flawed
implementation. However, spell checks are not a substitute for proof
reading. It won't catch times when 'every' is spelt 'ever', for
instance.

As is typical with stroke-type stories, Ralph starts out telling us
about our ghost girl's dimensions (38-C for those that are actually
interested), and it doesn't move much past that.

While I realise that story codes aren't required, with a story such
as this, I can't imagine why they weren't used. Especially with some
of the themes involved. I often support the absence of story codes,
but they do work particularly well for stroke-type stories, where
they aren't revealing anything damaging. Ralph might want to
consider investing in their use for future endeavours.

[   "You don't need to understand this," she said a minute later,
  upright and smiling down at me again. "Just enjoy me as I enjoy
  you ... ]

And that about sums the story up. Ralph wants us to enjoy, but not
necessarily understand. I think Ralph was trying for a sense of
mystery here, but it is lost without adequate characterisation and
plot. Merely to mention that a character doesn't understand is not
enough to make a mystery -- at least not for me.

The story did show lots of potential, though. With a little more
character, plot, and focus, I think it could have been more than a
simple depiction of young male fantasy, submission and sex.
However, to be fair, I think that for what Ralph intended, it is
well written, and those that do enjoy this type of stroke-type
writing, will enjoy this.

Technical       :    7
Eros            :    6
Character/Plot  :    4
Crimson         :    4

Editorial Note:
   Ralph chose not to code this story, nor is he required to. In
   this case, I think story codes would have been appropriate;
   the story codes above have been generated by the reviewer, not
   the author, as an aid to story selection.

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Perky in Pink -- Elena
    (MF, FF, bd, exhib)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41948

Author's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=thefabulouselena@yahoo.co.uk&index=email&submit=Search

Ceri (I do like that name ...) arrives at work, dressed in pink,
with matching nails and lipstick. She's an adventurous woman, dare I
say, a naughty girl ... er ... woman. A small dare has convinced her
to go without underwear today, and the mild exhibitionism ends up
turning her on. But what when Angela discovers her in the file
storage room?

This is the fun story of a day in the life of Ceri. I liked the
tone, and I certainly liked Ceri's character. There isn't much in
the way of plot -- it's pretty much completely driven by the sexual
overtones, not many deep messages here, but that's okay once in a
while. The story came across as a realistic glimpse into Ceri's
life. Not a deep look, but an entertaining glimpse.

And it is sexy, in a strange kind of way.

Technical       :    9
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :    7
Crimson         :    8

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex Monsters From Earth -- Alecia D 
  (Easter Humor M/Bunny Rape Bunny/Bunny Rom Bunny Gangbang)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Katie_McN/SexMonsterFromEarth.txt
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41927

Author's Site:
http://www.katie-mcn.com

It takes a sick mind to blaspheme the Easter Bunny.

But it is funny.

So, here we have Gadsden, a redneck complete with rusted out cars
littering his back lawn. Well, one day, you see, while huntin', he
stumbles across an Easter Bunny. He sees dollar signs, but figures
he needs a breedin' pair.

This is his story, and a damn funny one at that.

I really don't know how to score this, but suffice it to say, it is
different, and it certainly is worth reading.

Maybe I'm jess in a strange mood today.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :    8
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Injury -- Kellis 
    (Fm oral foot incest)

Story:
http://www.kellistry.com/injury.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41763

Author's Site:
http://www.kellistry.com

Davey is immobilised. After an accident, he finds himself in
traction, both arms broken, and one leg, casts covering his body
from head to toe. Alone with his thoughts and unable to move, Davey
gets rather and understandably horny. Meanwhile, his grandmother
comes to help care for him, and ends up teaching him a little more
than Davey's mother approves of.

This is a different story. At first, I thought it was going to be
...  distasteful. I'm not a Dragon that is particularly interested
in incest in the first place, nor in granny-sex. The combination
should have been deadly. I'll be honest. The sex in this story
turned me off, even while I'll be the first to admit that there are
those that will enjoy the quality and care projected into the sexual
descriptions here. The Eros score below, I must explain, is a bit of
a guess. My personal Eros score would have been closer to 3, but I'm
trying to be fair here, and project what might be understood by
someone more into the niche/fetish than I. The reader may want to be
cautious of blindly accepting my guess.

Kellis seems to have a knack of addressing the sexual issues through
excellent characterisations. I found the characters to be
believable, the story line intriguing, and the topics well handled -- 
at least by the end of the story. I liked the kid, but I especially 
liked the mother. I think we were supposed to like her -- in a way -- 
but Kellis is vague enough that I'm not quite sure what the real 
intent of the story was. Perhaps, we are meant to think about it.

In this particular case, I suppose because of the nature of the
themes, I think that the author should have ventured an opinion as
to what was right and what was wrong. Kellis doesn't and that's
fine. As I said above, I'm pretty sure that Kellis intended for us
to think about it, merely presenting the story as it happened, and
reserving judgement. *I* think the story suffered somewhat because
there was no clear moral, so to speak. But keep in mind that's only
one Dragon's opinion. (See -- there -- I ventured an opinion!)

Anyway, while it wasn't really my idea of a hot story, it probably
is to many. And even if not, Kellis gives us more than a simple
stroke-fest, and the story gets even Dragons thinking.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :    7

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lap Dancer -- Katie McN  
    (Lesbian FF rom M+F NC viol  hum)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41977

Author's Site:
http://www.katie-mcn.com

Mary Kay's life fell apart after Mallory died. In an effort to
forget, Mary Kay sets off on a whirlwind of honouring her friend's
memory, destiny and exploration. But the worst -- the absolute worst -- 
are the white lines, and what she must do to support her nightly 
escapes.

I really liked this story. It had a gritty sense of realism that
drew me in and showed me things that I'm glad that I've never had to
experience. Katie's character here is exceptional -- from her
narrator to the people that surround her. I felt like I was there,
addicted to the story as much as Mary Kay was addicted to her
lifestyle.

Smart. Sexy. And full of character, plot, sex and deeper themes.  

Go read.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Affair -- EZ Writer
    (flash fiction, fdom, bd, voy, caution)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/E.Z.Riter/Affair%20(Flash).txt
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41726

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/E.Z.Riter/

When the narrator's wife, Peggy, admits to having an affair with
Sam, she merely asks if he'd like to watch. And so, huddling naked
in the closet, he watches. But when Peggy binds Sam to the bed and
invites our intrepid narrator to participate, does he?

It's a flash piece, and while there is no doubt that EZ presents a
sexy case here, there really isn't much but the sex and a reliance
on inherent understanding of the situation. I suspect that's exactly
what EZ was aiming for, and while it doesn't appeal to me
necessarily, I do think it is successful for what it is.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :    8
Character/Plot  :    6
Crimson         :    7

Editorial Note:
   EZ originally coded this story with 'flash'. While there is
   no requirement to code further, a sleepy Dragon has added a
   few story codes to the original from EZ as an aid to story
   selection.

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Texas -- Medea F.K.
    (FF, rom, nosex)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/medea/www/stories/texas.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41762

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/medea/www

Our narrator misses the exit, and so they double back to the motel
that Beth remembers from a time past. But when they arrive, Beth
seems ... downcast and unsure of herself. What if their relationship
is a phase that she's going through? What if ...

This is a very short story that actually explores some of the deeper
concerns and insecurities facing homosexual couples.  As some of you
know, I'm a sucker for these kinds of discourses, but even so, I
think the story has universal appeal to both same sex, and
heterosexual readers. All in all, even while there is no actual sex
in this story, there is a subtle Eros of friendship and
understanding.

And I liked it.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: 2.6.3ia
Charset: noconv

iQEVAwUBPq7XqUxM3srBk85hAQHMJAf/R/irOjK9vRtLPJRbTZ7/NTR+RqCoMFE8
csQetjWyp/+2Bo33wuV0bLmalEcR/i4PptoSWT8yaJ/4r8xm+LZPwzcnSDZH6wc7
CnvpL7V32U3Qwr8g1dYZrLU+gzZUueX2KsqLuHG8TGkM+n4EFmGDapcjhYtuG1Jp
U+iz2EDYO7V1u7rqqcfqS1shPzc8jb3YROycA8sZT7KxXg2vmX9BQRFirXSvA5uy
m4Mfc1frsaovE5hC/DSLoYE6iPtThzhrLoX7nzGSl71G1lreUFrpZ9Ah8gJ1jP9r
Vo6kqJ774zHTA8vqH7hrY+NznjhnSdXkB3VYjeU/R2/gH0s0/3WjPA==
=ugrQ
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> |
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html>  Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}|
|Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org>      |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+