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From: LadyCyrrh@aol.com
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Annex Reviews, 3/30/03
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:10:08 -0500
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The Annex Reviews, 3/30/03
by Lady Cyrrh (ladycyrrh@aol.com)
Website: http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh 


~Sex and Sheer Silliness~


The stories:

New Year's Eve Barbie (TooMuchTime): F/m cons, first, 
    humor, magic, transform

Princess Zowie and the Royal Wedding, Parts 1 - 3 
    (Simplex): M/F, M+/F, F/F, fairy tale, anime, lact

Harem Slave (Don): M/F, F/F, slave, fantasy

Next Door and Plotting Wives (Lance): M/F, wife

The Fruits of Indifference, Part 1 (Peter): M/F, ncons, 
    teen

Book Notes: Kiss and Makeup, by Gene Simmons




New Year's Eve Barbie [A] 
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 3/19/03
Author: TooMuchTime 
Author address: TooMuchTime2002@hotmail.com
Author website: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/TooMuchTime/www/
Type: F/m cons, first, humor, magic, transform

Thirteen year old Roger receives a mysterious Christmas 
gift from his mysterious uncle, a globe-trotting 
photographer with a penchant for busty blondes. The gift 
consists of two vials of powder from Australian 
tribesmen which causes objects to grow and shrink. More 
specifically, the first powder makes a toy or model 
representation of an object become real and three-
dimensional, with the second reversing the effect. So, 
bored and left home alone on New Year's Eve, Roger 
experiments, and comes up with the perfect subject, his 
sister's Barbie doll:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 
She was beautiful, that was for sure -- large blue eyes, 
a wide smile, naturally pink lips, and golden blonde 
hair that fell halfway down her back. Every bit the 
"ideal" that Barbie had a reputation for being.  But as 
was 
usually the case with women he met, Roger could feel his 
eyes being draw downward, away from her face, back to 
her chest, which was ... just plain HUGE, from the looks 
of it.  Or maybe it was the fact that her waist was so 
thin and her legs were so long.  Whatever the reason, it 
made for a wonderful sight.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Barbie has an amusingly chirpy personality that seems 
inspired from the scene in "Toy Story 2" where a whole 
tribe of Barbies live it up in their plastic dream home 
and toy camper. It's not long before Roger decides to 
experiment sexually, with humorous consequences.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 
Barbie continued to stare at his erection, making him a 
bit self-conscious.

"Did you ... um ... want to touch it?" Roger asked.

"Yes, I think I would like that very much.  May I?"

"Um.  Sure.  Feel free."

"Excellent!" Barbie said, resuming use of her favorite 
word, then stepped forward and fell to her knees.  At 
first, she just eyed his cock up, moving her head to one 
side, then the other, as if to get a better look at it. 
Then, bringing her face very close to it, she reached 
her hand out tentatively, and touched it with one 
finger.  Then she touched it again, this time pushing 
the head down and bit and releasing, making it twang. 
Which brought her no end of delight, apparently, because 
she started to giggle.  "Your penis is so cool!"

Roger blushed.  "Well ... thanks.  I like to think so."

Barbie twanged it a few more times.  "Are all penises as 
fun as yours is?"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

At the end of the evening when the parents return Barbie 
is transformed back into being a doll, leaving Roger the 
wiser.

This was an enjoyable story, more for its subject matter 
than its style. Its simplicity, in fact, reminded me of 
a generically written children's book in places. Yet the 
characterization of the doll was memorable in her 
enthusiastic naivete (seeing she has real tits instead 
of plastic ones, she gleefully jumps up and down to 
watch them jiggle) and the boy was nicely done too, 
being experimental without being brutal. In fact, the 
whole thing read like an example story from a textbook 
on writing, which is a compliment to the author, but I 
do wish there had been more of the sheer zaniness of the 
situation.




Princess Zowie and the Royal Wedding, Parts 1 - 3 [C+] 
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 3/17/03
Author: Simplex 
Author address: simplex992000@yahoo.com
Type: M/F, M+/F, F/F, fairy tale, anime, lact

Here's a tale that could have been either humorous or 
very whacked. It had a tone similar to "The Prince" (the 
1/18/03 reviews) and I wonder if it wasn't translated 
from Japanese, or written by a native Japanese speaker 
in imitation of a favorite anime. A hentai, or sexually 
explicit, anime that is. Such animes feature a 
disconcerting mixture of hardcore fetish action with 
cutie-pie characters and plot, a combination difficult 
for Western audiences to understand, as we tend to 
separate hardcore and whimsy.

Princess Zowie (there were a bunch of crazy Engrish 
names in here, see engrish.com for more) is the leader 
of the kingdom of Ullandra and her ministers have 
advised her to marry. She is a lusty free-loving sort 
and not enthusiastic about it, but nevertheless she 
complies and begins to seek a mate. Her sometime lover 
Bonalot has sex with his lover on the side, and a group 
of other oddly named characters also have sex; nothing 
much else happens. A unique feature of this kingdom is 
that all females are able to lactate when sexually 
aroused, so you get passages like:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 
"Oh yes suckling, drink my milk." Sighed Zowie, cradling 
Sheila's head and stroking her jet-black hair.   Zowie's 
thick sweet milk began to flow steadily out of her huge soft 
tit.  Sheila's pixie-like beautiful face pressed urgently 
against the enormous curved end of Zowie's breast.  Her huge 
black eyes closed in ecstasy as she drank her fill from the 
Princess' nipple.  Zowie loved to suckle her closest subjects 
and took her other breast out of her dress, letting it fall 
heavily on her tummy, quaking and quivering all 
over its huge expanse.  Zowie closed her lovely eyes as 
Sheila suckled.  A sweet smile played over her delicately 
freckled face.

"Oh Sheila!" cried out Zowie cumming hard, trembling 
suddenly.  So sensitive were her massive boobs that she had 
easy orgasms quickly when they were suckled and played with.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Over and over again.

I don't recommend this as it was plotless and confusing, 
but if you can figure it out, are a breast milk 
enthusiast, and like anime girls, you may like it. 
However, I had to bow out after the third chapter. 




Harem Slave [B-] 
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 3/4/03
Author: Don 
Author address: roscoeny38@yahoo.com
Type: M/F, F/F, slave, fantasy

Here's another very silly tale in which it's hard to 
gauge exactly how silly the author meant it to be. 
Sheera is a young slave in a Middle East fantasy world 
who has been raised to serve in a harem. At the age of 
16, at the height of her beauty ("Her golden brown skin 
was the color of fine beach sand and her long hair was 
the color of honey. She had large brown eyes framed by 
high cheeks.   Her sensuous mouth was framed by lips the 
color of cherry. Her large breasts looked as if they had 
melted off her body, like candle wax." Lady Cyrrh's 
note: What the hell??) she is given to the Prince of 
Kalimari and serves in his harem as events of the 
kingdom unfold around her -- a defeat at the Battle of 
Parmesan by the Army of Tiramisu, after which he has the 
Duke of Fettucine reorganize the royal forces. I *think* 
the author meant these Italian menu names as a joke, but 
there was nothing particularly spoofy about the rest of 
the story, so I'm not sure what they're doing there. How 
hard would it have been it make up some pseudo-Arabic 
names, or pick them off a map? Anyway, Sheera is handed 
over to Alexander Placko -- another weird name -- the 
general in charge of the new campaign, and since she 
secretly longs for a man to dominate her the two get 
along very well, with time-honored utterances like "You 
wonderful little cock sucker.  You're going to make me 
cum again" on the part of the general.

It was hard to know what to make of this story, whether 
it was a parody, a sexual fairy tale for grownups, a 
domination story, or what. It read like the author 
didn't put a lot of thought into it, and didn't do any 
editing. This was surprising since he also wrote the 
excellent "Plaything" science fiction series of 
genetically altered sex workers (6/20/02 reviews) a 
series which struck me as being better crafted and more 
humorous.

In sum, pleasant in places, but lightweight and, well, 
silly; the strongest impression it gave was those 
outlandish names. Which isn't a good thing.




Next Door and Plotting Wives [B] 
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 3/4/03
Author: Lance 
Author address: Lpear28283@aol.com
Type: M/F, wife

Two neighboring couples share a pleasant relationship 
until their spouses go away on business trips. Under 
pretense of dropping of a wrongly delivered package Eddy 
has morning coffee with Liz, who comes out with a 
zinger: "Katherine,
told me once that you were pretty well endowed.  Is that 
true?" which leads her to an offer of spouse-swapping 
with the dumfounded Eddy, with videotapes exchanged. 
Nonstop then sex ensues:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 
They took quick breaks after which he sucked first her 
right tit then her left.   Each time he did, her stomach 
convulsed and she screamed as her whole body shuddered 
and flooded the tip of his dick with the wetness of her 
orgasms.  After the third one, Eddy grunted, "I'm gonna 
cum, Liz.  I'm gonna cum."

"Do it you huge man.  Put your cream way up there inside 
me where no man has ever been before."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Hmm, she's 50 years old and married, so "where no man 
has ever been before" doesn't make sense, as she's not a 
virgin anymore, right?

I felt pretty indifferent to this story. The plot wasn't 
very interesting, and the sex, as illustrated by the 
excerpt, was stereotypical. There weren't even any 
plotting wives, as the two of them reached their concord 
easily enough. However, aside from the caveman sex, 
there wasn't anything too objectionable about the story 
either; so, a B, for a quick read that wasn't very 
memorable.




The Fruits of Indifference, Part 1 [B-] 
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 3/2/03
Author: Peter
Author address: peterwong09@yahoo.com
Type: M/F, ncons, teen

This was part one of what is a longer story that seems 
to be a revenge one from the first two paragraphs.

Kevin Ralston is a young man with a lot of problems. 
Fatherless and ignored by his alcoholic mom, he has 
drifted into drug dealing, leading to his being arrested 
and sent to juvenile hall for four months; embarrassment 
ensues when he returns to high school.  He suspects one 
of his teachers was responsible for the bust, and I was 
prepared for a male teen revenge tale on an older, 
attractive female, but the story then took a turn into 
Jerry Springer territory: Kevin drops out, drifts 
through a series of low-paying jobs, and spends all his 
time screwing his overweight, slutty girlfriend Tina, 
spending her hard-earned waitress cash on beer and 
drugs. Tina lives with her poor but upright mom who 
works two jobs to pay for their pre-fab townhouse (just 
a step above a trailer park) and when mom sees the two 
going at it she's livid. But a confrontation with the 
shiftless Kevin only leads to 40-ish mom being raped and 
humiliated, after which he bows out ("I don't know... 
don't worry about it," Kevin replied coyly. "I was 
simply told that it was time to leave... See ya."  With 
that simple, sarcastically polite gesture, Kevin was out 
the door, leaving the two generations of the Shantz 
females to tear each other apart.")

This was another story that was an "eh" experience for 
me. The writer tried to work up sympathy for Kevin's 
rough life in the beginning only to lose it at the 
trailer-trash part, and I felt, as the story was titled, 
indifferent, even though, as with "Next Door and 
Plotting Wives" there wasn't anything too objectionable 
about it. Well, okay, on a second pass the trailer trash 
characters weren't very pleasant to read about, and 
certainly not very sexy. Maybe there are people out 
there who get turn-ons from watching Jerry Springer and 
the like, but as a fetish it didn't really speak to me. 
Perhaps if some humor was there it would have been more 
enjoyable, but the author took the whole thing very 
seriously.

And perhaps if the protagonist had been a dangerous, 
smoldering rebel along the lines of, say, an Eminem or 
Johnny Depp out to create sexual havoc -- by working 
through his own existential pain -- I might have liked 
it more. But the character was flat, and I didn't get 
any sense of why he did the things he did, or how he 
felt about them.

Could have been better.




Book Notes

Kiss and Makeup
by Gene Simmons
Crown Publishers, 2001 
$25.95 


The Tongue speaks!

Anyone who's lived through the 70s has got to remember 
KISS. Even if you didn't like them, or thought, as I 
did, they were sexually suspect, it was pretty hard not 
to have some visceral reaction to the Demon, the Cat, 
the Starchild, and the Space Ace. They were everywhere. 
Lunchboxes, tshirts, belt buckles, you name it. In the 
decades since the merchandising has only gotten wider. 
Now there are video games, motorcycles, and even Kiss 
Kaskets for your eternal rest.

I'd always thought such merchandising was a fluke, a 
byproduct of the band's popularity. But according to 
Gene Simmons in his biography, it was a carefully 
crafted part of the KISS business plan from day one, 
cooked up him and Paul Stanley, the group's two 
coleaders. Not bad for a Jewish boy from Queens. Or an 
only son born to Hungarian refugee parents in Israel, a 
scifi and comic book nut who planned the band's image 
from the very beginning as "The Beatles on steroids" who 
would become a brand name and cultural icon akin to 
Mickey Mouse. 

I thought all this was very interesting, as I'd never 
thought much about Gene Simmons before, save he had a 
very large tongue. I was more partial to the Space Ace; 
sorry, Gene, but the Demon character did seem a bit 
lacking in the intelligence department. Happily, that is 
not so, and Gene has written a fascinating, genial 
biography about his life both before and after the 
mighty KISS. For ASSM readers, Gene discusses his sex 
life a bit, not revealing details (he is a nice Jewish 
boy after all) but admitting, as a sex addict in all but 
name, he slept with literally thousands of girls, taking 
intimate Polaroid snapshots of most of them, a hobby he 
claims is less damaging than liquor or drugs. He's also 
fairly indiscriminate, his partners including a deaf 
girl, big-name celebrities Diana Ross and Cher, and a 
sexagenarian limo driver. You go Gene!

The book also has a nice selection of pictures, some of 
the band in their early years, and lots of candid photos 
from recent decades. The picture of Gene with his mom is 
a winner.

Want to join the KISS army, but missed the boat? Read 
this book.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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