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Message-ID: <40091asstr$1040908211@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Alecia D <aleciad@katie-mcnNOSPAM.com>
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 23:53:22 PST
Subject: {ASSM} Sex Monsters From Earth by Alecia D  (SF Sex Parody, RP)
Date: Thu, 26 Dec 2002 08:10:11 -0500
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Sex Monster From Earth

By Alecia D  <aleciad@katie-mcnNOSPAM.com>

(c) Copyright 2002, Alecia D


Thunk!

I got the big bastard and if it turns out to be female, 
I'll be rich.

Last Easter I made an interesting discovery. There really 
is an Easter Bunny. In fact there are thousands of 'em.  
Yep, when I thought about it, it had to be. No way one 
Easter Bunny could get around to see every kid in the world 
so I figured there had to be one hell of a lot of them 
suckers.

Me and my ole beagle was hunting squirrel in the back 40. 
We hadn't seen shit all day and just about figured on 
givin' up when we heard a crashin' in the underbrush. I 
figured it might be a dear or a boar, and was looking 
forward to a big meal. My dog just went crazy and took off 
like greased lightnin' to flush it out. Course I went right 
after him with my huntin' rifle ready to go.

Dang, almost filled my pants when I broke into a clearin' 
and found myself face to face with a six foot rabbit. I was 
too close to shoot so I hit the sucker on the head with my 
over and under and knocked it flat on its ass. 

At first I figured I was gonna have rabbit stew for a month 
until I notice the sucker was wearin' a back back. No shit 
and the damn thing was full of candy. I hit the mother 
load. The fuckin' Easter Bunny. First thing that crossed my 
mind was sellin' pictures to one of them tabloid magazines 
or maybe even holdin' the big bunny for ransom. Shit, Hugh 
Hefner could be interested in somethin' like this and maybe 
he'd fix me up with one of them model girls.

Well, it took me awhile to drag the bunny back to my place. 
Damn thing had to weigh 300 pounds if he weighed an ounce. 
Finally made it home and threw him into one of the empty 
dog kennels before sittin' down to have a couple a slugs of 
mountain dew.  

While I was sippin' my home brew it occurred to me there 
had to be a lot these suckers and I could make my fortune 
if I got myself a breedin' pair.

"Excuse me, sir. How long do you intend on keeping me in 
this filthy enclosure?" 

At first I thought it was the whiskey talkin' but then I 
noticed the big bunny was standing up and lookin' at me 
through the bars. This is even better. A talkin' rabbit's 
got to be worth a shit load of money and since I had the 
only one in the world, well, I was gonna be a rich man 
soon.

"Hello there rabbit. My name is Gadsden and what do your 
friends call you?"

"The name's Fuzzy and I really wish you could do something 
about the smell. When was the last time you fumigated this 
dump? Smells like something died and got buried under all 
the trash."

I just ignored that comment since it was no business of his 
how I did my house keepin'.  

"What the hell were you doin' out there in the woods, 
Fuzzy?"

"Once a year we clean out all the garbage from our warren. 
We found that the young members of your species seem to 
enjoy eating it." He gagged some after saying that and took 
some time to get composed. "We do our part for ecology and 
leave our garbage where your little ones will find 
it."

"No shit. You rabbits figure candy is garbage? We'll I'll 
be. Where do you get all that garbage from, if I might 
ask."

"I think it's common knowledge that rabbits are very sexual 
beings. In fact we try to fuck every day if we can." Damn 
thing got a boner when he was talkin' and didn't even try 
to cover it up. "Females usually get pregnant, but if they 
don't then every 28 days they have their period and so the 
garbage."

"No shit, Fuzzy. Those rabbit girls bleed candy when they 
have their period? I'll be gosh darned. Never did hear 
anything as strange as that."

It made a lot of sense, though, when I had a chance to 
think about it. How else would rabbits end up with enough 
candy to satisfy all the kids in the world? A lot of things 
were fallin' into place and I figured I'm the guy who could 
take advantage of 'em.

___

I was kind of gettin' used to having that rabbit around. 
Damn smart animal and one hell of a domino player. Bout the 
only complaint I had was all his whinin' about not gettin' 
laid. Shit. He never did seem to stop with that one. I 
guess I should of been bothered by him fuckin' that head of 
cabbage all the time, but what was he supposed to do? It 
wasn't that manly to give himself hand jobs.

Well as Easter came round again, I figured to kill two 
birds with one stone. I was fixin' to get me a female 
Easter Bunny for Fuzzy to fool around with and then see if 
I could raise me a bunch of Easter Bunnies for sale. I 
could think of so many uses and figured I'd be rolling in 
cash in no time.

First off, I scattered a bunch of toys and crap around the 
back yard. Made it look like a passel a kids had to be 
livin' here. Fixed up a huntin' blind on the roof cause I 
didn't figure no rabbits would be smart enough to know what 
it was as long as I didn't make no noise and sprayed myself 
with rabbit odor.

I'd been sittin' in the blind since midnight and hadn't 
seen a thing when I heard some sounds comin' from the trees 
in the back yard.

Thump, thump, thump.

Hell yes, I knew what that sound was and got my 
tranquilizer gun ready to go. That big sucker come crashin' 
through the bush and hippity hopped right into my back 
yard.  Easy as could be. I drew a bead on the big ole 
rabbit and got it with one shot.

Me and the dog climbed out of the blind and ran on over to 
the sleepin' body. Turned out to be a female all right. 
Just what I wanted and a good sized one to boot. Figured 
she was about five foot seven and maybe a hundred and 
seventeen pounds. Nice shaped critter, too.

I got to thinkin' that I hadn't had any sex since my sheep 
got away a couple months ago and I was pretty horney. Shit, 
these rabbits fucked like bunnies anyhow so probably 
wouldn't hurt if I got me a piece of her fluffy tail.

My cock must of had the same idea cause it was tryin' to 
bust out of my pants. I finally got my great big ole dick 
out of my jeans and searched around for some place to stick 
it in. 

Dang, her pussy was as tight as could be. I hadn't felt 
anything that good since my six year old sister seduced me 
back in '83. I decided to give her the royal treatment and 
held off for ninety seconds before shootin' my load into 
her wet pussy. Shit. I bet it would even be better if she 
wasn't passed out.

While I was thinking how good it was, I noticed my dick was 
gettin' hard again. Well, no use deprivin' myself so I 
rolled her over and got her ass pointin' up in the air. 
When I got her butt cheeks spread real good, I found that 
little pink spot and kinda jammed my cock right into her 
sweet asshole. Could of hurt her I guess but shit a female 
expects that sort of thing and I knew it probably didn't 
bother her all that much.

After I finished having my time with that darlin' angel, I 
dragged her body back to my place. I figured I'd just keep 
quiet about fuckin' her and stuff seein' as how Fuzzy might 
get pissed off and all. Course he'd be so happy to see a 
piece of ass that he might not even notice she was damaged 
goods.

"Look what I got ya here, Fuzzy boy."

"What a babe, Gadsden. Where did you find her?"

He sure was happy when I threw her body into the cage. I 
was kind of surprised that he didn't just jump her bones 
right then, but I guess rabbits aren't all that civilized 
and stuff. It didn't take long before she came to and 
notice she wasn't deliverin' candy no more.

"Hello sweetie. You're about the finest looking bunny I've 
ever seen. What's your name, honey?"

"Well, my name is Flufferette, but my friends all call me 
Fluffy, big boy."

I don't know where Fuzzy found that silk smoking jacket, 
ascot and bottle of Chardonnay. That boy sure enough had a 
way with the women and had her eatin' out of his hand in no 
time. I liked his style and figured I might be given' it a 
try next time my sister was over. Shit. Fluffy was givin' 
him a blow job and he didn't even have to threaten to kill 
her or anything.

That was just the start of things. It got a lot better as 
time went by and I was really gettin' used to havin' them 
rabbits around. Seems as though they were into group sex 
and swappin' so it was no problem for me to get piece every 
now and them. That Fluffy girl sure enough could give good 
head and seemed to like takin' it up the ass real fine. 
Just about everything I ever wanted and then some. 

Should a figured that good things would come to an end way 
too soon. I came back from huntin' a few days after the 
babies was born and all I could figure was that one of them 
babies slipped through the bars and somehow opened the 
cage. Every damn one of them rabbits had high tailed it out 
of there and was gone without a trace. Damn dog was still 
sleepin' and didn't know shit happened. Never did find out 
where them suckers went. Just flat out got away. All I 
found in the cage was some tasteless marshmallow and stale 
chocolate bunnies. Figure they was sendin' me a message.

So ya see Junior, that's why the Easter Bunny never does 
come to any house with rusted out cars parked in the front 
yard. Figure you're just gonna have to wait till you grow 
up and then you can catch a couple of them bunnies for yer 
own self. In the meantime why don't you all sneak into the 
back yard of one of them rich folks and see what you can do 
about getting some candy for us?


The End 


Let me know what you think of my story . . .

Alecia D  <aleciad@katie-mcnNOSPAM.com>


Read more of my stories at Katie's website . . .

www.katie-mcn.com

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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