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From: s f <idyllic_thoughts@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} My History III: Jennifer's Dormroom {Idyllic Thoughts} (MF true mast oral)
Date: Sat, 21 Dec 2002 17:10:07 -0500
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This is a true story, the format of which is copyrighted 2002 by
idyllic_thoughts@yahoo.com.
This is the third segment of my sexual history which I'm posting
online. I haven't posted for a few months but intend to add to
this when I can. I may get around to compiling the stories onto
a single web page at some point.
I should note that this is in no way a complete history; I'm
basically trying to talk about my most interesting, unique, and
vivid experiences that I think others would be interested in
hearing about. I've had long-term relationships that I probably
won't talk much about, not because I enjoyed them less, but
because I can't work them up into such an erotic frenzy.
But this story very much lends itself to assm. In short, this is
the story of the best blowjob I have ever had. And that says a
bit. Partly because of my early introduction to it, I've always
been a huge fan of blowjobs, basically expecting them in any
serious (or not so serious) relationship. I haven't always
gotten what I wanted, but this time it was incredible. But not
so much because of technique, but because of the way it built up.
Let me explain....
After my early experiences around the age of 14-15, I didn't get
much sex for a few years. This is largely due to a lack of
really interesting and interested partners. I grew up in a small
town so maybe my first experiences were just flukes. I got a few
blowjobs in high school and college but frankly they were nothing
to write home about, so I won't write to you about them either.
:-) And my first intercourse experience was rather mundane. I
met a really cute girl, Jennifer, at a science camp just before
going to college, and while nothing happened there I was
attracted to her quick wit, as well as her slightly plump but
soft, curvey, and athletic body, her wavy brown hair. We became
penpals and called occasionally over the next few years, but she
lived over a thousand miles away so other than commisserating or
celebrating a few points in our common college routines, our
relationship couldn't develop very far. We did joke about sex
once in a while, and she revealed that she had tried oral sex
with a boyfriend she was no longer seeing, but was still a
virgin. I confided my passion and preference for oral sex, which
didn't seem to bother her, though we didn't discuss many details
or think anything would come of this.
After I went to graduate school, I got offered a free plane
ticket by a relative and took the chance to visit Jennifer, who
by then was at a well-known private university on the other side
of the country. She and a friend picked me up from the airport
and I was happy to see her again after four years away. Nothing
magical transpired for a while though, it seemed we just were
reuniting as friends. Because she was still living in a dorm she
said it was fine for me to lay a sleeping bag on her floor and
camp out there for a few days. And I did just that. For a day
or two we just read together, walked around some campus sites, or
chatted about future plans we each had. She was studying
psychology while I was in political science. She hadn't focused
her interests yet but was taking classes on the family, abnormal
psych, clinical psych (she ended up doing clinical or counseling
work of some kind).
We handled roomming arrangements modestly; I changed clothes in
the men's bathroom down the hall and returned in my robe after
showering, and found the sleeping bag comfortable enough to get
by. She did the same in the women's bathroom, or perhaps changed
in her room while I was away. I found myself looking at her skin
and full breast a few times, though she didn't evince any obvious
interest in my body and we didn't say anything about our
relationship, which I was quite comfortable with and assumed
would be the pattern for the visit. I really was just planning
to see her as a friend.
The third night, though, this changed. She was talking from her
bed while I lay on the floor in my robe. We were talking about
psychology, which moved to talk of sexual drives, and at some
point our conversation drifted into masturbation. She mentioned
quite casually that she almost never did this, while I said I did
it every night before bed. She seemed surprised and I said I
usually did it in the shower. "So you just did that?" "No, I
haven't done it yet tonight." "Oh." Her interest seemed
detached, almost clinical, but something about that attracted me,
the idea of my sexuality just being observed (or discussed)
impassively. "Are you going to later then?" "Yeah, I could go
later...or I could just do it here. If you didn't object." I
was surprised I said that but I figured the risk was small. She
didn't respond. "Have you ever watched a guy do that before?"
"No," she said, as if the thought had just occured to her. She
looked slighly curious, but not in an immediately erotic way,
just curious as if this was a new but non-sexual learning
experience.
I reached down with my left hand and felt my hard penis, stroking
it slowly through the robe, then uncovered it. Jennifer watched
placidly, laying on her left side and looking down at me with her
head propped up by her bent arm. For a minute we didn't say
anything but she stared casually at my crotch. "Does it feel
different with me watching?" "A little." "How?" "I'm not
sure...a little scared you won't like it, or you'll tell me to
stop." "No, that's OK."
I waited for a few strokes. "How do you like watching it?"
"It's OK...though I can't see much."
I paused to digest this. "I could get closer if you want."
We didn't say anything for a bit. I thought that comment had
just fallen as a dud, when she said "Yeah it's a little too far
to see." We weren't really more than 6-7 feet apart, but if this
was her first time and she wanted to see it closer I could
certainly oblige. I stood up and walked towards the bed. She
backed up just a few inches so I could sit on the edge and turn
partly towards her. Her eyes were now just a couple of feet away
from my penis, sticking out from under my robe. I switched to my
right hand, which I preferred, and stroked it very slowly with a
few fingers, trying to keep the shaft visible for her.
"How does it compare to your boyfriend's penis?" She thought
about this. "His was a little thinner." A longer pause. "This
is a little weird watching you masturbate. Have you ever been
watched before?" "No." Which wasn't quite true, but I didn't
want to explain all the details just then. I tipped my penis up
just a bit and squeezed the exposed head so it grew. She watched
steadily. I was mostly looking at her face and my penis up to
this point but now I started looking at her breasts, the
roundness visible under her white pajamas. She noticed this but
said nothing for several minutes while I continued to stroke.
After a while I said "it would be nice to see you too." "I don't
really masturbate." "No, I mean just see more of you...like your
breasts." "Hmm." And that was it for a minute, while she
continued to watch me and I continued to stroke. I was pretty
turned on but had reached a steady state that I could maintain
for a while. I wasn't sure what was OK or if this was a limit
she didn't want to go past. I decided to casually set my hand on
her hip gently and hold it there. Is this OK? "Sure." It was
exciting just to touch her through the thin cloth while I gripped
my cock tightly. "This is very nice" I told her. She smiled
slightly, which she had hardly done yet. "I would really love to
see your breasts though." "Would that help?" "Oh yeah!" I
grinned. She turned on her back a little and pulled up on her
top, revealing her twin white mounds. As I suspected, they were
clearly large enough for tit-fucking, though not oversized for
her body. She looked down at them then up at me. I took the
opportunity to sit up on my knees, bringing myself up onto the
bed, but still facing the head of the bed, not her directly. I
lifted myself up on my knees so my cock could jut forward and she
could see the whole length. She turned her head sideways to see
it in profile, while I looked down at her breasts.
"Kind of like playing doctor" she said. "Really?" "Yeah, except
for being 21 years old." She laughed slightly, as did I. I
reached my hand back to her right hip, but to do this had to sit
back down on my folded legs, my cock between my knees. "You have
beautiful breasts." "Thanks." Again we watched each other in
silence for a while. "Did you ever try tit fucking?" "No. Have
you done that?" I had, but not for very long or very enjoyably.
"Just once."
After several more minutes I said "I would love to put it between
your tits." She said nothing for a while. "That could be
messy." "I wouldn't have to cum, or even stroke it--it would
just be nice to feel you there." "What do you like about it?"
She was ever the curious one; again I felt like a specimen being
studied, but that was good at least because it was a kind of
interest, even if it wasn't open lust for me. In fact in a way
it was better, lust could get uncontrollable, and I'd have to
decide whether I wanted it. Her clinical interest was more
modest, emotionally manageable.
"It's very warm" I told her. "Comforting, pleasant, soft."
"Maternal?" I thought for a bit. "I don't know, I'm not sure,
but comforting definitely." There was silence again. "I could
just set it there then take it out again and finish this way."
Silence. "It's interesting to watch you but I don't want this to
get out of hand." "I understand." It was hard to speak
dispassionately while stroking my cock but I tried to show that I
was calm and in control, and she could trust me. "Don't touch my
nipples or try to turn me on." "OK" I said. "OK then" she said
with a sense of finality. I was surprised and happy to hear this
final acceptance. Trying not to be too eager and quick about it,
I lifted my left leg high and reached across her chest to
straddle her. In a moment I had gently settled my cock between
her soft breasts. She looked at it as it lay there for a second,
but made no motion, as if she was wondering what came next.
After realizing that she wasn't going to press them together, I
moved my hands to either side of her chest and pushed in so her
breasts closed around my penis, the mushroom head stickout out
towards her neck. The warm sensation made me hum slightly in
contentment.
"Hm" she said, as if she had just understood how this was
supposed to work. "How does that feel?" I thought for a second.
"Warm...soft...hot really. How does it feel to you?" "I don't
feel much" she replied with little emotion. "Are you OK with
this?" "Yes, so far." I was careful not to touch her nipples,
as she clearly felt safer getting no direct sexual stimulation.
I gave my pelvis a slight push and my cock slid further out past
the tops of her breasts, then back down again, where I stopped.
I continued to hold her breasts with tense excitement, trying to
stay calm. I didn't know how long was too long before she would
ask me to get off again. We hadn't made eye contact for the
longest time. She was staring at my cock, perhaps as much or
more to avoid looking at me as in fascination over what I was
doing.
"When you had oral sex, did your boyfriend come in your mouth?"
"No, on my breasts." I waited again before trying another push
forward. My cockhead was less than an inch from her chin before
I pulled back. Another pause. "Did you taste it at all?"
Silence. I thought I had gone too far, that now she would say
that was enough and I should get up. And I knew I would have to
if she asked. "Just the precum." I relaxed slightly. My cock
was bursting with energy. I slowly thrust foward again, further
than before, but held back from touching her face. Too soon
would be overwhelming, too pushy I thought. I pulled back, but
then almost immediately pushed forward again and held my cock in
place. I was leaning over her, straining in place, my desire
visible and obvious, almost embarassing. I still had my robe on
but it was entirely open in front, just loosly hanging from my
upper arms.
"What do you like about oral sex?" she suddenly asked. I paused
a moment. Sliding back slightly, I said "it's hot, wet...I don't
know, it just feels very good." "Maybe because it's forbidden?"
"A little of that." She paused. "Do you like watching it?" I
stopped a moment to think. "Yes, actually that's almost the best
part." After a few second she said "Here's what I've been
thinking. Our faces are public; everyone can see them. Our
genitals are private and hidden away. But in oral sex they come
together, and that's exciting." "Yes" I exclaimed. "I think
that's it."
She went on: "It makes the genitals less bad and secret, more
acceptable and less shameful." "Yes." Another thought occurred
to me a moment later. "It goes the other way too." Before I
could gather my thoughts she said "how so." I stared at her face
inches from my cock, and slid forward again as I said "it
sexualizes the face...the public part of you...it brings sex from
something 'down there' into something in your face,
literally...something that can no longer be denied or hidden
away...it's a visible sign of the woman's acceptance of
sexuality, it makes her face sexual." "That's true" she said as
she bent down further to see my cock, which was just a few hairs
from her chin. She didn't smile but seemed to approve of my
point. "Right now your face is very sexual because I'm so
close." She said nothing in response. I felt that our
conversation had in fact revealed the essence of what attracted
me to blowjobs, other than the sheer physical pleasure: the
sight of sexualizing a woman's face, confronting it with my
penis, shaping her mouth as her lips visibly conformed to the
shape of my organ.
"That's why it's also so erotic to touch a woman's face with my
penis. Just seeing that contact is tremendously exciting." She
said nothing. In the next minute I stroked forward a couple of
more times. Finally on the third stroke the tip touched her chin
very slightly, and I held it there for about 10 seconds. Wow.
She watched it intently but without comment. I pulled back just
an inch, then pushed forward again for another touch. At this
point my pelvis was in slight contact with her nipples, though I
still didn't touch them with my hands. They were hard, but her
face still revealed no sexual excitement. That made my desire to
touch her face with my sex, to mark it with my organ, all the
more powerful.
"I would like to touch your face." She said nothing. I pulled
back again and thrust forward one more time. Her breasts were
thrust pretty far up by my action but she didn't voice or signal
any objection. I did this for another minute, then on one
forward thrust I stopped at the point of contact and moved a
finger to where I could touch my penis, and slid it back and
forth very slightly across her chin. The precum left a slight
wet spot which I could feel but couldn't see. I held my penis
there for a minute. I could tell she was breathing laboriously,
trying to stay calm and neutral in all of this, which she somehow
succeeded in doing.
"I won't touch your mouth, I just want to rub it across your
cheeks." Pause. "Would that be OK?" She said nothing. I
didn't dare do anything without her approval still. But I held
my cock in place against her chin and loosed the pressure on her
breasts so my it was hanging more freely. It occasionally pulsed
involuntarily with excitement and we could both feel the
additional pressure it made against her face. "Oh wow" I said,
almost painfully pleasured. I was desperate and I'm sure she
knew it. "Have you done this before?" "No" she said softly. "I
can just touch it for a second then pull away." In response she
simply breathed a little more heavily.
"I'd just like to touch it for a second, hold it against your
cheek. If I feel like I'm going to cum I'll turn away towards
the sheets." Silence. Her staring silence was incredibly
powerful, and held me in uncertain tension for the longest time.
At any moment she could reject me and tell me to jerk off
somewhere else--and it would be a great, quick orgasm too. In
fact, only the proximity to her face and my fear of offending her
kept me from coming wildly at this point.
"OK" she finally said when I least expected it. Oh. My. God.
I could do it. I was amazed but again tried to proceed calmly.
Very slowly, I lifted my pelvis and released the pressure on her
tits. My cockhead stayed against her chin while the base raised
up higher, so the shaft was pointing down at her, giving her a
better view no doubt. As I lifted my hands, I shrugged off my
robe, now rising above her completely naked. I felt her pajama
tops, rolled up on top of her chest, tickling the bottom of my
penis. I slowly moved my hand to my penis and moved it to the
right and slighly forward, crossing her cheek. I held it there
for a second, lightly at first, then pressing in deeper, letting
her feel more forcefully my hardness against her soft skin. Then
I cautiously moved it up and down, caressing her cheek with my
rigid shaft. I pulled back and moved the tip across her chin
again--keeping it strictly below her mouth--then up the left
cheek, repeating my alternation in pressure and stroking. She
followed my hand and penis with her eyes, once or twice looking
back at its base in my pelvis or at my thighs.
I hoped I wasn't pushing my luck, and lifted my penis high across
her head as I raised my hips so that I could slide it
continuously from her left cheek to her right. This put her eyes
directly in front of my balls but I didn't linger there, and slid
back down again on the other side.
"It's working...it's very hot, very sexual...I'm feeling
accepted...and your face is looking so sexual, so...." I didn't
know how to finish. My words were labored between my heavy
breathing. I held my cock still and yet it again pulsed
spasmodically against her face. After another minute I moved it
left across the middle of her face, under her nose, again resting
on her cheek. Her impassive stare drove me wild with a mixture
of fear and passion. I moved right underneath again, but stopped
at her chin, slightly higher than where I started. In fact, I
was now just below her lower lip. As my cock twitched her lip
quivvered slightly.
"Wow Jennifer, I could cum but I don't want to make a mess on you
if you don't want it." She was silent. "I want so much to touch
your lips for a second, just a second."
Silence for a minute was all I heard. I slowly started nudging
my cock up a milimeter at a time. I wiggled it slightly to see
the effect on her lip, the increased motion telling me how close
I was. Before long I was touching her lips and slowly wiggling
it across from side to side. I just did it for a few seconds,
then lowered it back down. "Wow, that was great" I said very
softly. She said nothing, but kept watching. I moved up again
and continued to rub it back and forth on her lips, very
slightly, with very little pressure. After a few strokes I
stopped and just held it against her lips. And held it there.
Now we were at a turning point, the point of no return perhaps.
A decision had to be made. I didn't know who could make it.
In the silence my penis occasionally pulsed embarassingly against
her lips. She watched and felt my organ but had no reaction.
"This is so good" I said, trembling. "Jennifer, you don't have
to do anything...but this feels so good. I'll stop if you want
me to. But it would feel so good...." I didn't finish the
sentence. And of course I knew that if she opened her mouth to
speak, to tell me to move off, she made herself vulnerable, even
if I didn't take advantage of it...and I would feel her lips move
against the tip of my penis, something I so desperately wanted,
even if just for a moment. But she made no response.
A minute passed. "Jennifer, I won't cum if you don't want me
to...I just want to say that I would so much love to feel your
tongue...my god that would be so good." She didn't do anything
for a few seconds. Then suddenly she looked up at me. It was an
incredible sight after so much evasion between our eyes--I was
naked, my penis resting squarely on her lips in the middle of her
round soft face, buttocks on her breasts, her pajamas hiked up
over her shoulders. It was she was suggesting that this had gone
ridiculously far already. It was a bit silly for us to have done
all this without even kissing or discussing the matter. There
was no commitment, just an experiment, and it wasn't even clear
that she was at all attracted to me. She looked at me for just a
few seconds, then down at my penis again. She seemed to be
considering the proposition.
I breathed heavily for a long time, and was scared that she was
having enough of this nonsense. I moaned slightly every once in
a while but otherwise we were quiet. Finally I reached down to
touch her hair very softly. I stroked it a few times, then
reached down to touch her forehead and cheek, though without
trying to suggest any movement of her head. I held my right hand
in her hair and waited. Finally I had to try something, my cock
was ready to burst and I couldn't stand the tension much longer.
I put a tiny bit of pressure on the back of her head with my
fingers--nothing that would move her, but enough to signal
something. Then I stopped and waited.
A few seconds passed, then suddenly I felt a wetness around the
tip of my cock. Her mouth opened and her lips very opened, just
enough for her tongue to slide out and touch the end. "Oooh," I
moaned as she started moving up and down slighly across the tip,
then, a moment later, around in a tiny circle.
As her lips opened my penis moved in slightly, and after a short
time I started very gradually pushing further. In a minute the
head was completely past her lips and she sucked it softly for a
long time. I started making sharper, soft cries of pleasure.
"Oh, that's so good...yes...." I placed my left hand also on her
head and very slowly started pushing in deeper. I felt like I
could abuse and rape her mouth but was holding back, going in
only slightly, exercising only a tiny bit of the power I felt I
had--potentially at least. She could still push me back any time
and I would certainly obey. But I was hopeful now that she
wouldn't.
Another inch went in, and I pushed gradually deeper. I stared
closely at every slight penetration as more and more of my penis
slid past her lips, veins and tiny bumps or ridges disappearing
into her wet mouth. She moved her right hand over my leg to rest
her hand against my upper pelvis--perhaps just to signal when to
stop. I went slower, and stopped for a few seconds, then tried
just a slight further push. Her hand seemed ready to push me
back, but didn't, as my cock moved deeper into her face.
Halfway in I sensed was about her limit, so I started pulling
back out, which felt just as good as going in. My shaft once
again was revealed inch by inch. What was so great was the
control I felt, I could make my penis go in or out at will,
entering her face deeply or sliding out wet with her saliva. I
started pumping back and forth, balancing myself with my hand
resting between her head and the pillow underneath, my pelvis
thrusting up towards her face. The sight was incredible, I was
actually fucking her mouth without any movement on her part,
something I had never done before, in fact something I had never
even heard of before or thought possible, but which came
naturally in this situation. I tried to thrust slightly deeper
and felt her hand push back on my pelvis--not hard enough to stop
me, but enough to make a request, which I honored by easing back
slightly.
"This is so incredibly good Jennifer, it's so fantastic!" Her
mouth was hot and wet but the best thing was the sight--my dick
was slighly darker than her skin, and the contrast in texture was
wonderful to watch. "I won't cum if you don't want me to." I
meant it, but I got no sign from her. Maybe it was OK? I
stopped for a few seconds to rest, then pumped again faster and
faster into her soft face.
I thought of everything we had said, about how this represented
acceptance of the penis, and the sexualization of her public
face. I thought of how I would ever after look at her face and
imagine my penis thrust into it. The intellectual talk we had
made about this act excited me, and at the same time I felt I was
transcending all of our verbiage, all of our explanations and
analysis, and taking control as my basic urge to ejaculate rose
up. I couldn't tell what was in my mind any more. Was it about
sexualizing her face, and bridging the public/private dichotomy?
Or was it about the primal need to squirt white hot sperm into
her body? I didn't care any more! I thrust faster and faster,
could feel the friction rising as I barely started to exhaust the
wetness of her mouth, just enough lubrication left to slide
easily but still feel the grip of her lips getting slightly
stronger on my shaft.
I stopped again, trying not to cum too soon. She took the moment
to stretch slightly under me, and moved her left arm move up to
her desk to push down on her bottle of hand lotion. I puzzled
over this since we hardly needed any more lube, and why would she
want to taste that anyway? Maybe her hands were just getting
dry. She settled back down and I started thrusting again, almost
deliberately ignoring the rest of her body and focusing on her
mouth. I felt she was being so kind in not asking me to stop so
she could meet her needs more easily, and asked for no
interruption, all this I felt was her way of saying that she
respected my sexual needs and would let me satisfy them without
her bodily necessities getting in the way.
But I was wrong, and suddenly realized it when I felt one of her
fingers slide suddenly into my anus, just up to the first
knuckle. She stopped then to guage my reaction, which was
shock--I had never felt this before--followed rapidly by intense
pleasure as I realized the reaction it had throughout my pelvis,
and on the base of my cock, which suddenly grew ultra-rigid and
pulsed. My sphincter contracted and a gush of tight pleasure I
had never felt before centered me in my body. Just when I
thought I was the master she had taken control and manipulated my
body in a way I had never dreamed. It was all coming too fast.
I grimaced with pain and pleasure at once. I started fucking her
mouth again and she moved her finger with me so it didn't slip
out, then started sliding it very slightly deeper with every
backthrust of mine, giving me more radical pleasure. I felt
absolutely wild not knowing anymore who was in control, what was
OK, what our bodies were doing and why--I just thrust more and
more rapidly and stared at the O of her mouth stretched open by
my bulging cock which was greedily seeking its pleasure inside.
I grabbed her head tightly and she suddenly looked up again. Our
eyes locked, my gaze split between her eyes and her mouth being
so forcefully invaded by my demanding penis, her eyes watching me
watch her. The spasm began and I cried and gasped as the first
pulses of orgasm came. I felt myself squirting into her mouth
suddenly, and again could no longer say who was in control. My
body had demanded her mouth for pleasure, but now I was powerless
in the throes of orgasm, while her gaze could judge me, approving
or condemning, liking or disliking. She could decide whether I
was right or wrong to force my cum into her mouth, while I was
helplessly squirting load after load. She could even push me off
her, but my body would keep cumming wherever I was like a
helpless animal. Mercifully, she accepted me. Her finger even
wiggled slightly after a few pulses, encouraging me to cum all
the more. I cried and collapsed, bare able to keep from slipping
out of her mouth. A minute later her finger slipped out and I
rose up again. My cock slowly slid out of her mouth, which she
closed to slurp off the rest of my sperm.
"That was so good, so good..." I muttered as I gradually slumped
to her side. "I'll be right back" she said neutrally as she
pulled her pj's back down and ran off to wash her hands. A
minute later she was back in bed and we almost immediately fell
asleep.
The rest of the weekend? It was good, but anti-climactic. How
could it not be? The next morning, before either of us said a
word, I rose up on my knees and jerked off onto her face,
smearing her lips and cheeks with my cum while she watched in
stony silence. Later we talked more about what we had done. She
loved my approach, my attitude, and my cock. I told her how
exciting it was for her to pretend not to be very interested, but
simply to let me proceed without comment as I took my pleasure.
We discussed the psychological ramifications of this, and learned
a lot, but again this was just words--all true, no doubt, but
they all paled in comparison to the vivid reality I experienced
while thrusting into her face. We tried a few other things:
after going out to a movie, we hid in some trees in a deserted
area and she kneeled for a quick blowjob in the warm California
night. I came on her face and she stood up and didn't clean off
as we continued walking. I was amazed at her boldness and feared
discovery with her, but a minute later she laughed and began to
clean it off. Most other times she swallowed me whole.
We kissed a few times towards the end, but ultimately decided
that this was an experiment that wouldn't last. Our homes were
far apart, our nonsexual interests too divergent. And before we
had really gotten started, but perhaps too before we decided we
were tired of the game, I had to leave. I last saw her as I
boarded the bus to the airport and we smiled at each other. She
winked. I never saw her again, and our few letters since then
simply confirmed that there was little to hang on to. It was
what it was, and could be no more. But I will never forget what
we taught each other about sex, bodies, power, and pleasure.
Thank you, Jennifer.
---------------------------------
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