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Subject: {ASSM} Day Job by Katie McN  (MMMFF, Hum, Parody, rev)
Date: Mon,  9 Dec 2002 17:10:02 -0500
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Day Job

By Katie McN  <katie@katie-mcn.com>

(c) Copyright 2002, Katie McN


Reventlow Paladrino is probably the most important man in Hollywood.  

No, you haven't heard of him, of course not.  The guy is the ultimate
insider.  But, can you think of any other person who could command the
use of the old Jules Stein Office on the sixteenth floor of the
Vivendi-Universal Black Tower with just a single phone call?  

RP is the brains behind six of the top ten grossing pictures of all
time.  His deal financing is so fucking amazing.  Why, I remember a time
back in the late seventies, when he almost put Bank of America out of
business with one of his 250% participation programs.  I mean the guy is
beyond belief.  He fucking has it all.  

I've got to say that I admire him most for all the pussy he gets.  I
mean he gets more gash than King Solomon ever did, if you know what I
mean, Jerry.  

When it comes to pussy, you know I get my fair share, Jer, but this guy?
Wow.  And some of the stories you hear.  

Un-fucking-believable!!  

Take last time . . .  He was doing principal casting for the "Life of
Mother Theresa."  

No, of course not, Jerry, he never leaves important details like that to
his little people.  

That's one of the reasons he's so fucking great.  

Anyhow, he brought in the three actresses.  Big actresses!  You know . .
.. three of the very top cunts in the business.  

All of them thought they had a lock on the part of Mom T, meeting or no.

I don't really want to mention their names here in the Studio
Commissary, but I'll just say number two, four and five box office gross
leaders over the last three years.  Yep, that's right, you know who I
mean.  

Hey, don't bust my balls on this, Jer.  

Of course, I know he went with an unknown on that film.  

But fuck man, the guy was just trying to get laid by some of the hottest
broads on film.  These cunts normally keep their golden pussies under
lock and key and don't put out for anybody.  

It was a total scam start to finish, baby.  No shit.  

Way I hear it, all three of them showed up at his office around two in
the afternoon, and the first thing they noticed was each other.  

He didn't bother to tell them they were going to meet with the others -
as a group.  It must of been funnier than shit.  Fuck, did I laugh out
loud the first time I heard about it.  

Hell yes they were steamed!  They couldn't leave when they found out,
even though they wanted to real bad.  I mean, they knew if they left
they'd lose out on the biggest role of the year.  

That fucking guy is sheer genius.  

I mean three of the most competitive broads in the whole town, standing
right there, steaming.  All three of 'em decided on the spot that they
were going do anything, and I mean anything, to shit on the other two.  

Look, Jerry, I don't think it's a good idea for you to continue to
mention their names here.  Someone might be listening, baby.  

Let's just call 'em A, B and C in case some shit is trying to overhear
our conversation.  Yah, we gotta make a living in this town, Jer.  

Well, RP came out of his office and acted just like a meeting with these
three broads was everyday.  

"Hello A.  You look so good darling. Kiss, kiss."  

"B, have you changed your hair?  Give me a hug, sweetie. Goodness you
sure can warm an old guy like me up."  

"C, who is dressing you these days, baby?  God, you're looking great."  

Yah, yah, we all heard his shit before.  Still fucking works though,
Jer.  The guy is something else.  

Anyhow, he had a bottle of Dom cooling in the office.  The big fucker, I
don't know what they call it, Jer, don't drink that shit myself.  But
the broads . . . they were eating it up.  

First, he got them warmed up by telling 'em that marketing figured the
story should box office at $200 million plus.  Where the fuck those guys
get shit like that, I'll never know.  

The babes believed every fucking thing RP said.  He got their attention
real good and more than ever they wanted to get that fucking Mother T
role.  

The real ass kicker was when he told them that he didn't give a shit
about the money.  No, no.  This was the film he had waited all his life
to do, and he was going to put everything the studio had behind the
picture.  

RP told the broads he expected Oscars all around.  Ya know, Cannes out
the ying-yang and fucking Golden Globes.  Mother Fucking Theresa!  Holy
shit!!  

But, they bought it, Jer, hook line and sinker.  Hook fucking line and
sinker, baby.  Damn, I wish we'd been there, Jerry.  Shit, must a been a
fucking zoo.  

Now comes the major league hook.  

RP reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a story treatment.  He
told 'em he was thinking Spielberg for this masterpiece and explained
that the film was looking like 3 plus hours of dialog, writing so good
Shakespeare would have given his left nut to take credit for it.  

Needless to say, he got B's attention, right away.  You know how she is
really into those endless tragic bullshit movies, and add some fucking
director who can't speak English, why, you just know, she would have a
hard time keeping her hand from sneaking down to her pussy.  

The chicks found out the story was going to provide some early life
details of the Sainted Mother.  Ya know, little known shit some scholars
at USC Film School were able to dig up.  RP sure as shit got them to
stand up and take notice with that crap, let me tell you.  

It was easy for RP to see they were ready to kill each other to get the
part, and no chance they would let one of the other bimbos be the one to
land it either.  No fucking way, baby.  

He told them that nudity is integral to the story, and asked if "Any one
got a problem with this as long as it's tastefully done?"  No problems.
They all remembered their early days when they were just getting
started, and, shit, they could do nudity standing on their heads.  Wait
a minute, C did stand on her head in that one Adam and Eve vid.  Yah,
only a few people saw that master piece before the studio bought up the
negative.  You know, Jerry, I bet, no one ever figured out how she
picked up the beer bottle after she squatted down on it, but that's
another story.  

"Whoever gets this role has to start out playing her at 14 and go all
the way to 92 years of age.  We can do the 92 in makeup, but the 14 is
another problem."  The big man.  

"All of you know Mother Theresa was a hooker before she saw the light."
They didn't know, but felt it would be bad form to let on, and so they
all just nodded their heads and agreed with RP.  

"Okay, we got to get the audience into this film.  We can't let anyone
think we're making some exploitation shit, not with these real meaty
scenes where you can just feel her pain.  I'm sure you babes can see
this is Oscar fucking material for sure.  Now you three bimbos are the
best looking women in Hollywood or anywhere else for that matter.  So I
got no problem with you playing hookers.  I just can't take a chance on
you being prima fucking donnas and killing the budget with a bunch of
bullshit demands.  You understand what I'm saying, don't you?"  RP was
coming across like some combination of Spielberg and Hitchcock and they
just looked at him awestruck.  

"Look, any one of you can get a deal where you fart into a bottle for
$15 million.  That's not the point, ladies.  Fuck no!  Now, I'm going to
have everything on the line with this film and unless you're willing to
go that extra mile, I can't take a chance with you."  Pure class, RP,
yes!  

It sounded like fucking art to the broads, and they wanted the part so
bad they could just shit.  

"Okay.  Let's see the legs, girls."  RP was taking charge now.  

The three grand dames of the motion picture industry were looking at him
in stunned disbelief, but he just stayed cool, very cool.  

"Look, you don't have to do any of this shit.  No fucking way.  You're
big stars, but I can't take a chance on picking a leading lady who won't
follow my vision."  

Next thing you know A's dress was moving up over the knees, and yes, she
still wears seamed stockings and a garter belt.  You know how she likes
to accidentally show off those incredible legs when she gets in and out
of cars.  Yep, she flashes beaver shots out the wazzoo, baby.  You've
seen it, Jerry, her pussy looks real good with her legs spread wide and
her love box airing out in the breeze.  

Well shit, Jerry, the other babes got their dresses going up, too.
There was no fucking chance someone was going to top one of those
bimbos.  The Mother Fucking Theresa part was pure juice and it was all
they could think about, baby.  

RP just stood there and watched the three broads run amuck.  

The dames didn't act like they were paying attention to each other, but,
sure as shit, they saw everything that was going on with the other two
bitches.  

When A got her skirt up an inch or so higher than B, it was like no time
at all before B was up 2 more inches, and fucking C beat all three of
'em soon as she saw what was happening.  RP got to look at three of the
biggest money broads in Hollywood with their dresses pulled up around
their necks, looking just like starlets getting ready to hit the casting
couch.  

Fucking RP promised me he'd show me the video his hidden cameras took,
but he never has, Jerry, and am I pissed.  

"Okay girls, this is getting us fucking nowhere."  RP was smiling and
beaming as he checked out what kind of underwear these babes were
wearing.  Fuck, Jerry, I would of ripped right through the front of my
pants and cum all over myself if I'd been there.  

"Screw this leg shit, why not just take your dresses off, and quit
fooling around."  

Well, at this point, C was fucking into it and not really thinking about
what he was saying.  No, she was just out to kick some ass, and the
other two bitches weren't going to get one inch ahead of her.  

Well, off came C's dress and she was standing there in nothing but heels
and panty hose.  No, Jerry, she doesn't wear underwear.  I can't
remember her ever wearing any to tell you the truth.  Yah, I can't agree
with you more, baby, those tits are so fucking firm, she doesn't need
any help to keep them pointing at you like two fucking rockets.  

Shit, Jerry, the other two girls saw this and they couldn't wait to take
off their clothes.  It was like a strip show, baby.  They were all
watching each other and when one made a move and took something off, the
other ones matched it piece for piece.  Off came the dresses, slips,
bras, garter belts and stockings.  Man, in no time at all, three of the
best looking bimbos you'd every want to see were standing there in
nothing but their high heels and jewelry.  I would of blown my wad right
then, Jerry, fucking A.  

RP, though, remained very calm as the broads were ripping their clothes
off in a fucking frenzy.  You know, that guy has more class than a
football.  Next, he told the broads that he had something they just had
to see in his inner office, and off they went naked as jay birds, not
even thinking if they would see their clothes again.  Man, the guy knows
his shit and we missed the whole fucking thing.  

Well, once RP and the bimbos got inside his inner office, he handed them
scripts and told them that they had some real work to do.  

"Okay A and B, I want to see how sensitively you'll handle this love
scene.  What do you mean where's the guy?  Fucking Mother Theresa was a
lesbian before she got converted.  What the fuck's wrong with you
broads?"  

B didn't figure anything was wrong with her, and she wanted that part
more than you could imagine.  A was also ready to do whatever it took to
get the part, and didn't give a shit what it was, either.  

Well, RP got to stand there and watch A and B sucking on each others'
tongues for just about ever, and the word I got is that these two broads
knew a hell of a lot more about lezzie shit than a straight bitch
should.  Yah, Jerry, just about every big name fem star in town is a
lezzie, so it really wasn't a stretch for them to get it on like that.  

RP just stood there and kind of made suggestions like he's the director.
"B suck on her tit like you mean it, girl.  A get your hand moving
between her legs so she can really feel something.  This is gonna be a
close up shot, so make it look real, baby.  Make that finger disappear.
I want to hear some screaming and moaning here, just like you do when
you really get off."  Well, this didn't turn out to be a big problem for
the babes, Jerry, since they were getting off big time right about then
anyhow.  

RP had the broads go at it on the couch in his office like two porn
stars at a fuck festival.  And, Jerry, they were getting hot while he
stood there cool as he could be.  "Finger this.  Suck that.  Grab the
other."  Where the fuck were we, Jerry?  

Eventually, RP had them stop the hot action.  It was really more to get
C into the picture than him giving a shit that A and B were fucking
exhausted after they came about three times each.  

"Okay C, A and B proved they could get into character, so now it's up to
you.  I want you to imagine that you are in the convent and not really
converted yet.  Yah, you're very horny cause you haven't been with
another broad in days.  Okay, you got the picture, so lay down on the
couch and do yourself."  

"What the fuck do you mean you won't finger yourself?  You saw A and B
doing a lezzie act so get that hand moving or get the fuck out of here."
RP is so suave.  

Yep, next thing you know, C was going to town doing the one hand wonder
on her very fine looking pussy.  She was not just going through the
motions, baby.  Nope, she's a method actress, and she was making it look
good cause she was really doing herself.  It was so very hot, Jer, her
fucking hand looked like a blur moving so fast between her legs.

The other two broads were watching the action and getting a little
worried that C was pulling ahead of them.  They never saw a broad do
herself that good before and they were getting hot and horny, too.  C
got so into it that she started moaning and was real close to getting
off.  She expected RP to say cut at this point, but nope, he just let
her go on and on and on.  

Well, Jerry, you know what happened next, and, yes, C came like there
was no tomorrow.  The fucking bitch was loud, baby.  Man, that must have
been a turn on for everybody who was there watching her, that's for damn
sure.  

After C collapsed on the couch, RP looked A in the eye and said he was
going to leave.  No shit, just like that, Jerry.  "Wait a minute."  You
heard 'em all pissing.  "We're just getting started here and we want the
fucking part."  Blah, blah, blah, you can just imagine them getting all
hot and bothered.  

"Look, I've been watching some really hot action and I can't take it any
more.  I'm gonna have to go out and get laid right this fucking minute.
I don't know how long it'll take until I find someone to do me so you
broads will just have to run along."  Don't you feel for him, Jerry?
Shit.

 Yah baby, you can just picture how it went from there with those
hotties.  Yep, next thing you know, A was spreading her very fine legs
right on top of RP's desk begging him to fuck her.  No shit, Jer.  

RP dropped his pants and got right into it without missing a beat.  He
told her to play with her tits to help him get off fast so they could
get back to work.  Hell yes, two of the nicest looking boobies you ever
saw getting the A treatment, if you know what I mean.  Ha, ha.  

Well, it didn't take RP too long before he got his rocks off again.  So,
now the broads figured he's getting back to work, but no fucking way,
baby.  

He looked right at B and said, "Look, this isn't fair to you, B.  A had
a chance to fuck me so she pulls way ahead in the casting department.
No B, it's not very fair, but I'm a man, and we all think with our
dicks, if you know what I mean."

B knew and got real pissed.  "You asshole, why didn't you give me a
chance to fuck your brains out.  I'd a torn you apart."  Man, she was
hot.  You've seen her like this, Jerry, holy shit.  

RP, being the benevolent guy he is, says, "Okay, I'll make it up to you,
B baby, you can give me a blow job instead.  Time to get your knees
dirty, darling."  

Wow, she really started screaming at him when she heard that.  "You
fucking scumbag!  You just came, mother fucker, and even my world class
blow job couldn't do anything for you now."  

"Okay, okay, I know how to make this fair, B."  RP had to come up with
something to cool her off.  "A get your ass behind me and get on your
knees.  Yah, that's good."  A got right to it soon as he told her what
to do.  That girl always did take direction well.  Ha, ha.  

"Here's the deal bimbos.  B sucks me off and A rims me at the same time.
And, listen A, I want to feel that tongue boring into my asshole.  If it
isn't good, I'm taking off points.  Understand?"  

Obviously, she did.  She had already reached around and had his pants
half way down to the floor.  Never saw a broad like her, before or
since, Jerry.  She could trip you and beat you to the ground best two
out of three.  

B was getting right into it, too.  The broad dropped to her knees and
had RP's whopper in her mouth lickity split.  Damn, can you imagine B
sucking you and A rimming you at the same time, Jer?  Really, who could
ask for anything more?  

Now, here's the best part, baby.  C was watching this shit and she was
really steamed.  Yah, she wanted to get into the action now that she saw
how far behind she was in the points department.  It looked like she was
ready to push one of the other broads out of the way so she could start
in on RP with a little sucking and fucking of her own.

Needless to say, RP got off after about two minutes.  Sure as shit, soon
as he came, he heard C bitching up a fucking storm.  "What the fuck do
you mean letting those sluts do you without giving me a chance to show
you what fucking is all about, you asshole?  No guy can make a comeback
after that kind of action.  How am I supposed to keep in the game when
you give those bitches all the breaks, you fucking dick head?"  

This is why RP must be considered different from you and me, Jerry.
Why, he calmly looked at her and said, "C, baby, I've saved the best for
you, sweetheart.  You gotta know there's nothing that turns me on more
than a little light S and M, baby.  Can you deal with it, darling?"

RP guided her over to his desk and got her to bend over and lie down on
the desk.  Sure, she still had her fine, fine, super fine legs on the
floor.  She had 'em spread real nice, too, so you could see all that
pink just lookin' back at you, and that ass, wow.  Yah, Jer, one of
those scenic view things.  

Next thing you know, RP pulled a small riding crop out of his desk and
started slapping her on the ass.  No, no, not real hard at first and,
anyhow, she didn't seem to care that her ass was getting red from his
workout.  She figured she was making a comeback and knew that kinky
always scores more points with us guys.  Fuck yes!  

Well, in no time at all, RP got hard as a rock again.  He unzipped his
fly, pulled out his jumbo meat missile, and stuck her right in the
asshole with his big cock.  While he was going to town on C's great
looking ass, he handed A the whip and told her to go for it.  Fuck, man,
she beat the shit out of C, if you can just imagine the picture.  Jerry,
it was kind of like getting fucked and fucked over at the same time.  

Soon as he finished getting off in C's asshole, RP screamed out, "Let's
go film some shit."  The four of them raced out the fucking door,
heading for the elevator.  You can't believe the excitement, Jerry, no
shit.  

Now, it's not too bad to be running around nude on the 15th floor of the
Vivendi-Universal Tower because security would just figure you're some
eccentric executive.  No one ever fucking questions the shit that
happens up in suit heaven.  Now seeing RP and the three naked broads
running through the aisles wouldn't of been too bad if they got off on
the 11th floor where the fucking record company is headquartered.  Yah,
it would just look like some new act the music scouts found at a Madam
Wong's showcase and nobody would of given a shit.  But, Jerry, they made
a real mistake getting off the elevator on the 4th floor.  

Sure Jerry, the 4th floor is where the  Vivendi-Universal Corporate
Accounting department is located.  Yah, a bunch of fucking bean
counters, no shit, baby.  You see more black three piece suits on that
floor than you can shake a stick at, that's for damn sure.  

Okay, now just imagine seeing RP and three big stars sans attire running
through the aisles of the fourth floor.  They were screaming and yelling
shit and, of course, the accountants just freaked out.  Jerry, can you
just see 20 CPAs with boners standing there with their jaws hanging down
to their chests.  

Well, what made it worse was that a group of top Vivendi guys just
finished a meeting in the Corporate Controllers' Office and happened
upon this merry scene.  Yah, the fucking owners of Universal.  It sure
was a good thing these guys had been drinking wine all morning and were
all drunk, or, there could have been some real problems.  

Anyhow, RP was thinking on his feet and told the broads, "Look we're in
big trouble here, so give all these guys head and then we can make a
quick exit."  

Sure as shit, the three of them each grabbed a guy, dropped his pants
and started sucking like there's no tomorrow.  The guys were standing
there with their pants and silk boxers wrapped around their ankles.  All
the people standing around there were just freaked out watching this
shit.  

No, no, I don't think blow jobs are legal in Paris either, but I could
be wrong. It doesn't matter. These guys all shot their wads real fast
cause they never had lip locks like that before.  Yah, it was something
new for them I'm sure.  

The token broad that was in the Vivendi party was madder than hell and
shitting big bricks.  She couldn't believe any of this was fucking
happening right there in the main aisle of accounting.  Yah, Jerry, the
three babes did all five of the top dogs from Vivendi in about five
minutes.  Those guys were standing there after it was over with their
pants around their ankles, dripping cum out of their dicks and had shit
eating grins on their faces.  

You'd figure RP was done, but no way, baby.  He tells A, B and C to do
the Vivendi chick next.  And, before that frog babe knew what hit her,
they got her dress up around her waist and her panties torn right off.
B ripped the front of her blouse open, too, and, from what I heard, she
had some real nice looking tits for an executive chick.  

The French bimbo got some truly fine lip locking and rimming from B and
C, while A sucked on her titties.  Broad must of thought it was
tongue-ga-lishous, if you get my drift!  No Jerry, I don't think they
have any lesbians in France either.  No, no, France's is one of those
straight laced countries that doesn't go for that sort of shit, believe
me, Jerry.  

RP and the three stars split leaving the Vivendi executives in disarray,
and the fourth floor money guys were sort of out it, too.  A couple of
them were pissed cause they didn't get blow jobs and there was this one
guy jacking off right there in the hallway.  

Jerry, if we could figure a way to put something like that into the
Universal Tour, we'd be making millions, fucking millions, baby.  

Anyhow, getting back to the story, somehow they ended up in the lobby of
the tower building.  Funny thing happened there when B looked at the
bust of Barry Diller. You know the one he had put in the lobby when he
took over? Yah, right next to the elevators, that's the one.  She
checked it out for a couple of seconds and said, "I think I had that guy
a couple years back."  The other two said they must have had him, too,
but couldn't remember just when.  They were all just trying to keep up,
baby.  Yah, you know how that works.  

Now, the guards didn't know what to fucking do with three naked stars
standing around in the lobby drawing a big crowd like that.  Normally,
when people run through the lobby nude, they just take them into the
back room and give 'em a choice between giving up the booty to a couple
of the guards, or off to the slammer.  Security didn't know how to
handle this shit.  RP is too big a man to fuck with and they knew they
couldn't do shit to three top female stars.  Shit, they just stood there
and kind of enjoyed all the action, nothing else they could do, really.

Finally, RP got the broads into his limo and sent them off to the Palm
Restaurant for an early dinner.  No shit, Jerry, can you imagine them
showing up at Palm in nothing but their high heels demanding their usual
front table?  

Reventlow Paladrino, man, the fucking guy has it all.  Jerry, he gave me
the picture Universal Security took of those fine looking ladies just
before they got into the limo.  What do you think of it, baby?  


The End 


Let me know what you think of my story .  .  .

By Katie McN  <katie@katie-mcn.com>


Read more of my stories here .  .  .

www.katie-mcn.com

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Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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