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Message-ID: <39727asstr$1039389006@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: vickietern@aol.com (VickieTern)
Subject: {ASSM} MMMMMM by Vickie Tern 3/10 TG Femdom
Date: Sun,  8 Dec 2002 18:10:06 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

Mmmmmm! by Vickie Tern 3/10


                              iii.

"Well, I've decided.  Here's what we do.  You quit trying to be a
man.  You're useless that way.  Give it a rest and go with what
we've got!  Right now we're both of us sexually unsatisfied.  You
think it's because I'm not turned on, so you're not turned on, and
so on.  And maybe I think I'm not turned on because you're not!  
So our marriage is in real trouble despite how we feel about each
other!  Agreed so far?"

Nick's heart was sinking, he didn't know why.  He nodded.

"How long do you think we can go on like this?  We're both of us
still young and healthy!  We both have always loved sex, ferocious,
knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred sex!  It was great sex that
held us together through the worst of our quarreling, wasn't it? 
But what holds us together now?  Listen to how you torture
yourself, do I have other girlfriends or boyfriends!  Have I had
other girlfriends or boyfriends!  What a confession of inadequacy,
that you need to ask!  Think of the stresses on our marriage if I
were to suspect the same of you!  That you've had other girlfriends
or boyfriends?  Suppose I were to decide that you aren't performing
for me because you're fucking someone else, say, some hot young
secretary, or you're butt-fucking some hunky muscle man!  Or some
guy has a thick dick deep in your rear.  What might I do then?"

Nick was silent.  She saw his expression and reached over to cover
his hand with hers.

"Oh, sweetheart, I don't think any such thing!  And I don't want
our marriage to end any more than you do!  But it will!  And this
morning we found a way to keep it alive!  How you can still turn me
on after all!  And because of that, maybe yourself too!  You saw!"

Nick tried to look hopeful, not mournful.  Nor defensive, though he
sensed that what she was about to say would not be welcome.

Kelly could see that.  She put down her knife and fork and stood
up, and paused by her chair for a moment, just looking at Nick
thoughtfully.  For a fleeting moment Nick feared that she was
actually giving up on him, then and there, that she was about to
turn her back and walk out of the room, out of his life altogether. 
There had been times when he'd hated her and he'd wished it.  Or
considered walking out himself.  But now, with this peculiar sense
of inadequacy hanging over him, he felt a sudden deep pang of loss. 

She didn't turn and walk out.  She came over and stood next to him,
then with a sudden twist of her hips she sat down in his lap, and
draped both arms across his shoulders.  She leaned back to look
down at him.  He looked back up at her, oddly, wistfully grateful.
The swellings of her breasts under her suit jacket filled most of 
his field of vision.  He saw around her neck a thin gold chain he'd
given her a year ago and once had almost torn off her neck with a
clenched fist, enraged.

"Sweetheart, we're past our tempestuous times.  Let's face it! 
Those arguments were terrible, and I couldn't stand one more of
them.  The lovemaking was great, and maybe it'll come back some
day, one way or another.  But maybe we've entered a new phase, and
we need to accept that as a fact!  So we need something else!  We
need to move on with what we've got!  I'll tell you what I want,
and then when I'm done you tell me whether you love me enough to
give it to me.  OK?"

She leaned forward and kissed Nick lightly on his lips, and kept
her face close.  And then spoke slowly.

"Here's what I want.  If my husband can't be a male animal in bed
with me, then I want him to be my sweet Janet in bed with me.  My
roommate.  My soul mate.  You're the lovely man who replaced Janet
in my heart way back.  And if you're not exactly a man now, you're
still lovely.  So you can try to be a little more like Janet! 
Someone devoted to pleasing me.  I want to feel your affection the
way any girl can feel any other's.  The way I felt Janet's.  I want
you to make love to me down there the way she did, the way you
did it this morning, sweetheart!  Maybe even also use love-toys
too, dildos, the kind Janet sometimes pushed into me and I'd push
into her now and then.  The kinds women use when one of them wants
to feel deeply penetrated, possessed, loved.  Or both want it."  

She kissed him again, more passionately, as if aroused by the
memory.

"I still have that  wonderful jelly dildo around here somewhere,
its bigger than you at your biggest.  You can certainly use it to
do the job on me now that your penis is undependable.  I loved it! 
And you know something else, lover?  Maybe you'd love it too!  You
really should know how it feels to have something that gorgeous
moving inside you, stretching you even while you clench down on it
and squeeze it tight.  How it feels to want one in you, to miss it
the way I miss it sometimes.  You have no way of knowing now, do
you?"

Nick saw that her eyes were hooded, her expression distant, that
she seemed lost in a fevered reminiscence.  Yet, he saw, the whole
time she spoke she never stopped watching him.

"No, I guess not," he said, trying to sound helpful.  This
conversation was turning kinky!

"This morning when you were down there between my legs I closed my
eyes and imagined you were Janet.  And my orgasms rose to
unbearable intensity!  They just piled on, one after another! 
Because you're better than Janet!  I've never been so close to
heaven.  As Janet you're perfect!"

Nick was now wondering if Kelly had gone off some deep end.  True,
their sex often seemed an insane frenzy.  Once launched into an
erotic storm they'd toss and heave, more than willing to do
anything, try anything with each other, nearly.  Especially once Kelly
passed beyond restraint and became insatiable, and his own desire
for her blazed. 

Though not recently.  He knew it really wasn't her fault.  His own
zest, lust, his desire for her, they just weren't there any more. 
For months their lovemaking had been slack as he'd grown
increasingly incapable.  He'd disappointed her repeatedly.  He knew
that she tried nowadays not to impute blame, not to find fault with
him.  Even now she was struggling not to hurt his feelings.  Could
that be why they no longer argued so furiously with each other? 
Because she knew he was already feeling unsure of himself,
inadequate, and she didn't want to make matters worse?  Even now,
he realized, she was trying to raise his morale by suggesting they
relate in a new way, do something he could still perform.

"Sweetheart," she said, wriggling on his lap and staring into his
eyes.  "Listen!  I want to be able to look down and see my very own
lover down there sweetly and delicately licking my clit!  I want
that lover between my legs to be no one but you!  Only you!"

Nick heard what she was saying.  It was a new pledge of devotion,
of fidelity.  But not of a kind that gave him peace of mind.  He
looked up at her, and she looked down at him.  She saw he'd heard
her.  So she continued now, more confident.

"From now on, Nick, when you're being my husband, I want you to be
my girlfriend.  My girlfriend!  I've been imagining it all day,
lover!  That's what I want!  I don't need an unfit man, I want a
devoted woman!  I want to see your eyes beautifully shadowed,
looking up lovingly at me from under huge lashes, from between my
legs, while your dark red lips nibble my clit.  I want to feel your
grace and delicacy and tenderness kissing and caressing and licking
my most intimate, private places.  A woman's grace and tenderness. 
I want you to learn to love to do it!  I want to know that my lover
is feeling what I feel.  Feminine feelings!"

Nick didn't quite understand, and he certainly didn't know what to
say.  She was far gone!  Wasn't she?  "That's quite a speech," he
said finally.  "I didn't know that's what you wanted."  Then he
decided to assert himself.  "Kelly, I'm a man!" he said.  His voice
sounded a little uncertain.

"Not really.  Not lately!" she said gently, unshaken by the news. 
She leaned forward and lightly kissed his cheek.  Then held his
head immobile between her two hands.  "Listen.  We've been obsessed
with a different kind of lovemaking.  While it lasted.  Great sex. 
Sex between a man and a woman across the gender barrier.  There's
always something desperate about that kind of sex, isn't there. 
Something incomplete and yearning!  And also something dominating
and resentful and challenging and competitive, isn't there that
too?  Something threatening, even?  We've both felt it.  Maybe
that's why we've had to struggle to reach each other, because our
gender differences have held us apart.  But sex between women is
different.  Women instinctively feel each other's pleasures and
sorrows and nurture each other's joys.  We share ourselves with
each other!  Wasn't this morning's sex the best we've had in
months?"

"Yes."  Nick decided not to point out that whatever Kelly needed,
another Janet maybe, he had been a nearly-asphyxiated Nick.  Nor
did he remind her that during that landmark morning lovemaking he
hadn't even gotten off.

Kelly kissed Nick again, then slipped off his lap and strolled
slowly, casually back to her own side of the dinner table, her
rounded rear toward him and her hips undulating, it seemed, almost
triumphantly.  She sat down square in her own chair.  

And Nick realized that for Kelly it was no longer a dining room
chair but an executive desk chair.   She placed both her palms flat
down in front of her, and she looked across at Nick, round-eyed,
her little mouth a pursed rosebud.  She seemed like a child about
to speak with great earnestness about something monumental!

"Then that's the kind of sex we'll have from now on, Nick!   I
can't expect that your old energies will ever return.  So make no
mistake, you'll need to go all the way to provide me with what I
need.  No limits!  We've always known what we wanted from each
other.  Well, now that you're the way you are, I'm telling you
flatly what I want!  Since you aren't the man you were, I want you
to be the woman I once had between my legs.  You heard me!  I want
you to eat me the way Janet did.  And as often.  I don't care if
you eat me out of devotion or lust or enthusiasm or groveling
servitude, because you want to submit yourself to me or because I
want you to submit.  Any of those reasons are good enough for me. 
But it has to be all out!  Nothing held back!  Like the lovemaking
we've always had in the past!"

"Kelly, I've always wanted to eat you, as you so delicately put
it," Nick said.  "I've proposed it.  But you ...."

She didn't seem to be listening.  Her voice grew more determined,
steely.  More like her voice that morning when she'd first ordered
Nick to bow down and taste the power of her pussy.  "Only a woman
can eat me!  You're no longer the man I married.  You ate me this
morning!  If you can't be the woman I lived with before we got
married, if you aren't willing to take care of my needs, then I see
no reason to stay married.  It's over.  There's no other way we can
survive together as a couple.  It would be an act of kindness for
me to end it now, tonight, while we still care for each other
despite everything."

Our marriage ended?!  Nick was stunned!  Astonished!  He just sat
there.  He could still feel where her soft rump had pressed down
on his lap, he felt her presence there even though she wasn't there
any longer.  Nor perhaps would be ever again.  He tried to open his
mouth, but he couldn't!

"I'm waiting to hear that you agree with me, Nickie.  That you're
willing to be my new girlfriend Janet.  In every way.  That you
want to be my girlfriend.  I want you to say it."

Kelly took a deep breath.  It crossed her mind that she might well
be pushing him too hard, that despite his recent apologetic pliancy
he might well be mustering rebellion down under.  He needed a
moment to think, to get used to the idea.  So she eased off, and
added more gently, "Just think about it right now, honey.  Take
your time.  Is there really any alternative for us?  I want good
sex.  I can always find it somewhere, and if I find it in some
lesbian bar I just might want to bring it home.  And that would be
the end of us."  She paused, then added, "And suppose it isn't a
lesbian bar but one of those singles bars where men cruise for
available women."

Nick just stared.  His lap was empty.  His heart was in his shoes.

"I really don't want a series of dates with women.  I want what I
had with Janet, but with you!  I want a sweetheart.  A roommate. 
An all-out lover.  You!  Almost the way you are now, sweetheart,
but with a few changes.  Nicer, less disagreeable, the way you've
been lately, sensitive to my feelings.  A dear friend.  A dear
girlfriend.  Someone who can devote herself to pleasing me!"

She's gone mad!  Nick was thinking.  Or maybe it's just that she's
as demanding as ever, as determined to satisfy herself as ever, but
I haven't got the will these days to fight back and make my own
demands.  

"Think about it.  Let me know after we've had our dessert and 
coffee, while there's still something left of the evening.  
Because I need to know tonight whether you're willing to
be made over into what I need.  Either way you decide I'll need to
make a few phone calls."  She looked intently, seriously at him. 
"I am in deadly earnest, Nick.  Our old marriage has ended.  Our
old battles are over.  You've lost.  I've won.  We'll have a new
relationship now or we'll have none, and no hard feelings."

Her face brightened.  She'd said what she had to say, and the
problem was no longer hers!  "I think you can clear the dishes now,
honey.  Let's have that dessert and coffee in the living room. 
Those French pastries looked so delicious when the waiter laid them
out on the kitchen counter!  Use a tray when you bring everything
in.  I love being served!"  She rose and left the dining room
without another word.

When Nick brought in the patisserie and the coffee and sugar and
cream and set it all down on the coffee table between their matched
sofas, he saw that kelly had kicked her shoes off and was leaning
back on the opposite sofa deep in thought.  She looked worried. 
She'd delivered her ultimatum and now awaited his response.  He
realized for the first time that this was not a game.  It was not
a frivolous ploy.  She meant it.  She was no more anxious to end
their marriage than he was, but she meant to end it.  She'd do it,
if he couldn't provide what she needed.  He believed her.  They'd
neither of them ever doubted that an all-out great sex life is
crucial to happiness.  He hadn't been able to provide one for weeks
now, months.  She'd told him what kind of sex she wanted instead,
and she knew he could perform it because he'd done it only that
morning.  Oral sex.  And done it very well, apparently.

But was he willing to do it as a kind of memorial to her good old
days with Janet, or her other girls earlier?  That was a weird
notion!  Could he?  He knew instinctively that he'd have to do it
to keep her, at least at first.  When she spoke in that firm tone
of voice, she meant it.  And when she meant it, that was that.  

He sat down opposite her,  "Let me understand you," he said.  "This
girlfriend thing.  Suppose I agree to play at it with you.  That's
only in bed, when we're making love.  Only then, right?"

She didn't even trouble to turn her head toward him when she
answered into the air with a certain weariness.  "No, honey, I
don't see how.  It wouldn't be play, not for me it wouldn't be. 
Being feminine sexually isn't something you can turn on and off. 
It's how you look, it's what you are, what you can feel you are,
how you feel deep down.  It's a full time job.  I'd want to feel
whenever we're together or apart that you're still my girlfriend,
all the time, in all your moods, whatever you're doing.  For that
you'd have to be my girlfriend all the time in your own mind."  

"Even when I'm at the office?"

Kelly looked oddly surprised, and glanced at him.  Then seemed to
realize something.  She thought a moment.  Then said almost
carelessly, "If you're at your office I suppose you could still
pretend you're still a man, and you could dress like one
if that pleased you.  Wear a pant suit maybe, and a collared dickey
or blouse with a tie, maybe, with chunky-heeled Oxfords, fake it 
that you're still what you were.  But in your heart you'd know 
better.  And sooner or later you'd want to give up pretending, 
you'd need to, you'd want to dress as what you really are, 
what you've become.  And everywhere else I'd want you to be
what you've become, my darling.  No pretending.  Because it'll be
so much easier for you to believe it when everyone else believes it
too.  All of our friends.  I'd want them all to know that we're no
longer living together as a quarrelsome married couple but as two
dear girlfriends.  Then my girlfriends could become your
girlfriends too."

"Dress?  Dressed as what I've become?"  He couldn't believe she
meant what she was saying!  How far did she mean to carry this
joke?

She turned her head to look at him closely, and she spoke
carefully.  "Of course.  Dressed to look like what you are, what
we've become to each other.  Girlfriends.  Yes, most of the time
wearing skirts, hairdos, and manicures, the way I do.  Sometimes
jeans and a loose man's shirt when you're relaxing or working in
the garden, that's allowable.  But always behaving the way a woman
behaves, too.  Being a girl, so we can be girls together.  Hugging
when we're delighted and giggling when we're amused.  Loving the
same sorts of things.  Feeling intimate this new way, and being
intimate this new way too.  I can teach you.  If you really love me
you'll learn.  You'll want to learn.  Can you?  Do you want to? 
For me?"

Trying to calm himself, to reason with her, he stirred his coffee
slowly.  Her questions were now coming closer together.  "You're
asking a lot, Kelly!  You said it earlier, gender is the great
divide. I have no idea how it feels on the other side.  How I'd
feel.  Apart from ridiculous and humiliated!  What would people
think?"

Kelly looked at him cautiously, calculating.  He hadn't said 'No,'
she noticed, and that was the first great hurdle.  Best to lock him
in right now.  Increase the pressure.  "What people think doesn't
matter, it's what I think!  You try it and see for yourself," she
said.  "I need you to do that!" 

Her tone was firm.  "I believe you," Nick replied.  "And I want to
help.  But...."  His mind was racing.  Seem to agree to get past at
least this critical moment?  Actually agree, for a trial period,
until she comes to her senses?  Draw up all his dignity, take a
firm stand, and refuse?  And end five years of this incredible
marriage, defeated? 

But Kelly hadn't finished.  "Are you a man now?  Can you still call
yourself a man?  Even if you are, what are you afraid of?  Of being
a girl?  Would that demean you?"  Her voice was level, but with an
edge creeping into it.  

"Kelly, you know we've done lots of things together.  There wasn't
anything we didn't try, one time or another, nearly."  He paused,
then continued.  "I don't want to offend you.  I could try this." 
He paused again.  Lay it on more heavily.  "For your sake I'd like
to try this."  He started to add, "But ...."

Good, Kelly thought.  He said it -- 'I'd like to try.'  I'll settle 
for that.  Now to nip that 'but'in the bud!

A delighted smile lit up Kelly's face.  She leaped up and seized 
him, and cried out, "Then you will try this!  Wonderful!  Oh, 
darling, you've just made me so happy!"

Nick was astonished!  She climbed into his lap again eagerly,
effusive, bubbling, kissing his face over and over!

"At first it'll seem odd to you, I'm sure!  Of course, it must! 
You'll even look a little odd, maybe, until we can do something
about how you look.  But we'll take care of that right away,
tomorrow.  And don't worry, don't feel in the slightest that you're
being ridiculous.  Girls don't ever feel ridiculous or humiliated
just because they're girls.  I certainly don't, not ever!   Oh,
it'll take a little time.  You don't know anything!  Listen, maybe
it'll be best if you do everything I tell you at first, no matter 
what, no questions, just do it!  Yes!  Even try to become your own 
version of me maybe, and act like me, and work at it and learn how 
to do it better until finally it becomes instinctive, no longer 
acting, just a matter of being yourself?  You'll be surprised 
how ordinary it can get, being a girl, how relaxed and easy you 
can become with it, being treated like one, feeling like one.  
And in the end that's what people will think you are because 
that's what you'll be."

Nick tried to say something, but Kelly's words tumbled on.

"Some of it means you'll have to let go all your masculine notions
and feelings, inhibitions too, and that's all to the good.  Some of
it means adopting feminine feelings to replace the masculine. 
It won't be easy, sweetheart.  But I'll help.  Others can help too. 
There are specialists in this sort of thing."

As this deluge poured forth Nick tried several more times to speak,
but whenever he found an opening, nothing came out.  He wanted to
seem casual, reasonable, but he couldn't even reach to pick up a
fork to cut a mouthful of one of those delicious, cream-filled
pastries Les Halles had brought them for dessert -- his hand was
shaking too severely.  He certainly couldn't hold a coffee cup and
sip and swallow as a way to stall till he could find the right
things to say and an opportunity to say them.  

He did manage to stay calm.  Kelly had gone utterly mad, he
decided.  Should he refuse outright to consider her crazy idea? 
She thought he'd already agreed!  Humor her, try it?  Risky.  To
save his marriage he'd have to feel his way into an altogether
different universe, at least temporarily.  Could he be sure it was
temporary?

In the end he yielded.  He had to.  He had to seem to try.  He owed
her that, he owed their marriage that much before he could conclude
as he knew he would that it was hopeless, that he'd have to leave
her, try to forget that he had ever been married to her.  Married
to the most marvelous woman anyone could imagine!  The only woman
who'd ever stood up to him and given back as good as she'd gotten. 
He recalled tempestuous, passionate times when his body was
surrounding her yet deep inside her.  He'd fought, but she'd always
fought back, raising the ante and his passion even higher.  What
had happened to that glorious antagonism?  His eyes filled with
tears!

He couldn't disabuse her directly until he found out more of what
she had in mind.  "You don't mean that I'll change physically too,
somehow acquire a body to match this new femininity you want me to
feel?"  He hesitated.

Kelly was overjoyed.  She knew she was trying to steamroller
him with a fait accompli, that he hadn't exactly given her his
wholehearted consent.  But now he'd said "I'll change," not "I'd
change."  No more ifs!  He'd was reconciling himself to it in his
own mind!  So she pressed her case.  "In some respects you'll
change, you'll expect to, honey.  You'll want to.  I'll want you
to.  Not too much.  You're small-boned like me, and you have a nice
chin, lots of girls' have bigger chins, and no Adam's apple or brow
ridges, and you're still young.  You could actually be pretty. 
Maybe it isn't too late for you to go through a different puberty. 
You'll want to have soft skin and firm breasts like mine I'd think. 
You can't be a girl without those.  They aren't hard to arrange. 
A few surgical interventions, nothing hundreds of thousands of
women haven't had done who take pride in their appearance, and more
men than you'd think too.  Keep estrogen in your bloodstream always
telling your body what else to do, and progesterone too I suppose
in addition to those T-suppressants you've been on.  That's all. 
For now, anyhow.  You'll be beautiful before you know it."

Nick just stared at her!  He couldn't speak!  What was that she'd
just said?  "T-suppressants?"

She stared back, unmoved.  He'd committed, it was time he knew. 
Now move him along.  Nail him down further.  "Yes, that's what
they're called, I think," she said steadily.  "To stop your
testosterone production, all that obstructive, aggressive male
behavior.  Once and for all!  You've been on one for months now,
along with a mood tranquilizer.  That's why we stopped quarreling,
sweetie.  Rachel calls those drugs taken in combination her
Marriage Counselors.  Whenever she prescribes them, relationships
immediately improve, she told me.  They're her alternatives to
divorce.  I'm sure you've noticed the difference they make in your
feelings.  We've both noticed how it's changed our relationship."

Nick continued to stare at her!  He felt indignation rise up in his
heart, a listless copy of the outrage he'd have felt a few months 
ago, but still, a self-respecting response.  "A tranquilizer?  A
testosterone suppressant?"  He was amazed at how peaceable his
voice sounded, given the enormity of what she'd just told him.  
How peaceable he felt!  He'd been drugged?  He was drugged! 
"Rachel?  Your friend Rachel gave them to you for me?"

Kelly saw that the next moment was critical, and went defensive. 
Her voice registered grievance, a deep sense of injury.  "What do
you think happened to all those arguments we used to have, Nick! 
Do you think they just went away on their own?  I hated them! 
Didn't you?  Isn't this better now?  Remember that knockdown
shouting and screaming spree we had last winter, when you smashed
a chair trying to get at me and I threw dishes to hold you off? 
You meant to hurt me, I could see it in your face!"

Nick remembered.  He did mean to hurt her.  It was appalling, how
furious he'd gotten then.  She'd goaded him and goaded him, and
taunted him, and finally he'd cracked.  It was frightening!

"Well," Kelly went on, warming to her argument, "I decided after
that, 'Never again!'  Never again!  I was going to divorce you and
that was that!  No more, not even one more night!  I packed an
overnight bag and called Rachel and asked if I could stay with her
until I sorted things out, got another place to stay while I
started legal proceedings, and so on.  We talked a long time.  She
urged me to try again, to do with you what she does with Kevin
whenever he gets difficult -- Kevin's her husband, you've never met
him.  Give you something to calm you down.  Tranquilizers to help
you feel more reasonable, maybe other stuff too to cut back your
aggressive urges.  I owed it to you, she reminded me!  I owed it to
our marriage!"

Now Nick was speechless.  He'd forgotten that her friend Rachel was
an M.D., and a woman who'd continued to bait him even after he'd 
vowed to act polite at all times to all of Kelly's friends.  A 
dangerous woman!

"Well, I gave them to you.  Lots.  Months and months ago and ever
since.  Rachel prescribed them.  And they worked!  They saved our
marriage!  No more quarreling!"

Nick felt trapped!  Appalled!  Outraged!  But oddly, none of these
things!  Curiously undisturbed even as he registered these other
states of mind.  It was as if they were old memories, not states of
mind at all.

end 3/10
VickieTern@AOL.COM

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