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Message-ID: <38933asstr$1035540602@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Jack Lipton <liptonsoup1951@yahoo.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} Beauty and the Bleak (MF, rom)
Date: Fri, 25 Oct 2002 06:10:02 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

(MF, rom)

      Beauty and the Bleak

          Jack Lipton


Rain.  It was raining.  After such a long dry spell, it was
raining. And not the gentle patter, but the full downpour out of
a dark sky, occasionally lit by the strobe of a lightning flash,
the thunder being swallowed in the rain.

The world outside was weeping.

If only it would keep raining, reflecting my own state;  We
needed the water and I'd be glad for the excuse to cower in the
house. Perhaps it would also wash away some of the pain. Perhaps
I could even drown in it.

My house wasn't my home, for I had lost her, and my children, in
an auto accident 6 months ago-  the "gift" from a DUI who had
also perished days afterwards.  With the loss of my whole family,
I had found lawyers to rape and pillage his estate in expiation
for his negligence; His arrogance and stupidity had extinguished
my future.

The money from insurance made it easier to hide in the house
though I was still exposed to the well-wishers at work.

Fifty One years old-  I saw no way to start over.  I had had
enough problems finding my wife, who, after her first marriage,
was quite comfortable in marrying a techie with so little romance
in his soul. She couldn't live on romance and flattery and his
indiscretions-  but she'd been able to find solace in truth,
reliability and my loyalty to her...

...Till death do us part.  We were parted now in that most
permanent of ways yet I still wore my wedding band.  I couldn't
turn my face to the future.  I could barely turn my face to
today. Each breath was a burden.

Only my workplace rut provided any temporary relief; My skills
were widely used and occasionally appreciated when I pulled a
penguin out of my hat or built up a new server from a spares kit.
So my self-perceived duties to my "customer base" kept me going.

My work also provided a means to support my denial that anything
had actually changed, that Jane and Julia and Jeff were actually
just on a trip.

The pain of arriving to an empty house matched my empty heart. 
Being a tee-totaler and not having an interest in drugs, I sat,
with no escape in sight, alone, reading heavily and even writing
stories about what-ifs...

...but those fantasies, even the dystopian ones, illuminated the
very darkness in my soul I was trying to avoid.

Then I got the call from the attack dogs-  uh, lawyers-  that I
had engaged.  They needed me to meet them the next day.

It was in their office that I met HER.

Jessica MacGregor.

She was in the reception area applying for a job and she
nervously started talking to me about her chances of being
employed.  She couldn't have been over 25 but she acted like she
was still an insecure teen-ager.  Since she was a young woman it
was easy for me to assign her (in my mind) as a niece, which I
had a few of in that age range; This did bring my paternal
instincts to the fore (which was the first sensation of pleasure
I'd had in some time).  I did my best to calm her down and told
her that she should do fine.  I asked her what kind of work she
was looking for and she told me that she'd be their network and
computer person, if she got hired. These being parts of my own
technical nature, we ended up talking shop in detail and I found
her quite sharp and enthusiastic;  I even enjoyed this
opportunity to talk shop.  Her personality was such that I could
feel "basking in a glow".

She also showed a good grasp of two of the three standard genres
that techies seem to share:  Monty Python and Hitch-Hiker's Guide
to the Galaxy.  Her deficit in Firesign Theater was probably a
side defect of her youth.

I gave her my card and told her that if the law firm didn't hire
her that she should apply at my work.  "After all, you've already
passed my technical interview."

Their office manager popped out of the archway next to us and
added "And, listening in, she's passed ours.  Sorry Jack, we're
not gonna let her loose so easily now."

My lawyer popped in, "Jack, I'm sorry I didn't get out here
earlier; I got tied up in a conference call that went on and
on..."

I sighed.  I know what calls like that were like.  I turned to
Jessie and shook hands, saying "It was very pleasant to meet
you."

Her smile was dangerous;  I suspect it could've melted a polar
ice cap, and it was directly aimed at me.  She thanked me for
talking to her as she was led away.  Even though he was on the
periphery of her directed smile, I could see my lawyer reeling
from the warmth of it. Given my age and situation the smile was
only a gentle glow on the stones in my heart.  When I turned to
my lawyer he seemed dazed before leading me to his office.

When I went to leave I ran into Jessica in the building's lobby.
She was sitting looking sad, watching the rain outside.

I couldn't help it-  she looked so lonely and forlorn.  I walked
over to her and asked, "What's the problem?  Why so sad? Can I
help?"

She looked up suddenly, startled, but I could see tears in her
eyes. "I can't start for a week!  I've got to wait for the
background checks and I've got to find someplace cheap to live
until then..."

I sat down by her, my heart opening.  Suddenly, to me, she was my
daughter in need.  I could cope with this right now. I needed to
cope with this right now.  I didn't know why, but the thought
that I could help her suddenly crystalized a sense of mission.  I
could do this. Also, there was a feeling of trust between us, of
commonality, despite our various differences, defying all logic.

"Look, I know this is coming from left field and all. My house
feels empty right now;  so If you're willing to take over my
daughter's bedroom and aren't likely to throw big parties, I'm
willing to put you up until you get started here.  If you think
you can trust an old man like me, then I'd be comfortable for
someone to talk to."

"Oh.  Are you sure?  All I own is in my car out there.  I don't
have much in the way of social skills so I don't party.  If you
think you can put me up for a short while I'll certainly follow
you home..."

Her face crumpled again when she saw my reaction to her saying
the word "home".

I apologized.  "I'm sorry, I lost my family some months ago.  It
hasn't felt like a home for too long at time.  Perhaps you can
help me. Please follow me."

We left and I made sure that she could follow my car despite the
rain still pouring down.  She pulled into the garage next to my
car and I helped her move her stuff into Julie's room and helped
her clean it. Julia's (and Jeff's) rooms hadn't been touched
since I had lost them. I hadn't even done anything about Jane's
stuff in my bedroom.  So I worked with her to bag up Julia's
clothing and stuffed animals and we moved it to the garage.  That
done, she started getting unpacked.

I didn't have much food to offer so I called for a Pizza
delivery. When she joined me in the kitchen I oriented her to
where everything was and told her about our dinner plans.

She smiled again and, after grabbing some sodas, we went into the
living room to await our dinner's arrival-  and started talking.
I let her know the story of my family and she let me know about
her history.  She'd lost her parents and younger siblings while
in college; As the oldest child, she was alone.  She had come
here to look for work and was running out of money to do it with
by the time the law firm's job was listed.  I nodded.  In the
midst of this the Pizza arrived and we finished up orientating
each other over the slices.  I apologized for having no beer in
the house to go with the pizza.

"No problem.  I never developed a taste for beer or even wine. 
This", holding up a fresh can of soda, "will be fine."

I finally let her know that she seemed a conscientious and
competent young woman.  With that I went and popped some antacids
to keep my stomach relaxed and headed for bed.

My dreams were confused;  I even had repeated dreams of Jane
pushing Jessica at me, telling me to move fast.  It seemed my
children visited me again tonight in my nightmares-  but the fear
and pain evaporated as they clasped Jessica's hands in my dream,
telling me they wanted brothers and sisters.

The next morning I showered, shaved and dressed for work before
setting foot outside my bedroom door.  I smelled something
pleasant so I followed my nose to the kitchen where Jessica was
making some french toast.  I made noises of approval and she
pushed a plate to my side of the table and told me, as she threw
another two slices in the frying pan, to sit down and eat.

"Jack, for my own sake, I've got to make it worth your while to
have me here..." I was told, ending with another heart-warming
smile.  This one penetrated the surface but didn't completely
dislodge the weight I was still carrying, but it felt better than
anything I'd felt in too long.

Despite my pains, I was able to smile back, at least a little
bit.  It must've looked pretty lame, but I was trying.  I told
her "Please, Just keep an old man company, make it look like
you're listening to his stories and you'll do fine.  I must admit
that the idea of having company to talk to over a real breakfast
has been too alien for far too long.  Thank you."

"I couldn't find any signs of coffee despite the coffee maker,
but I found plenty of teabags and a teapot, so I made that
instead.  Is that alright?"

I nodded and said "Thank you.  Like I said, I usually don't have
the energy or enthusiasm to cope with any kind of breakfast
makings in the morning.  This looks good.  And Jane was the
coffee-drinker, not me."

"Well, I noticed that there's no margerine, so you'll have to
take your chances with butter.  If you could let me know what I
need to know about your dietary preferences and your health, I do
want to know so I can help you."

I munched through the french toast and enjoyed the tea before
looking up and seeing that I needed to leave for work.  I also
realized how much I was enjoying the company of another at
breakfast.

I reached on the shelf above the sink and brought out a small key
ring;  I handed it to her.  "These are the keys for the house. 
They were Jane's.  This will allow you to get back in should you
need to leave for anything.  I hope you'll be comfortable today.
I'm sorry, but I don't have a whole lot of time right now to put
up a login for you on the network here."

She nodded, and, as I headed for the door, she pulled me to her
and she hugged me.  "Thank you...  Daddy?"

I suddenly felt lightheaded but I squeezed her tight to me,
crying, "Oh, honey, Daddy's missed you so much.  You're a good
girl you know..." and the next thing I knew I was lying down on
my back with plenty of strange faces around me and listening to a
steady "beep...beep...beep" while I also noticed the sound of
Jessica crying in the background.  My chest also hurt, like I'd
been stepped on by something big.

"Jack, do you know where you are?"

I looked at the face that spoke, looked around a bit, "My
kitchen.  I just finished breakfast.  Where's Jessica?"

Suddenly I saw her most beautiful of visages (despite her red
weepy eyes) above me.  "Yes Jack?"

"What happened?"

She looked around and bit her lip.  "You collapsed, I was so
afraid, I called 911 for assistance.  These are the paramedics."

I could tell they had placed an IV in my left arm.  If I had only
passed out they wouldn't have done that.  There was also the
irritation that they didn't realize I was left-handed and that
the IV would be more than a little annoying.

I felt weak, even lying there on their gurney, and asked "Jessie,
please hold my hand..."

She grasped my right hand almost desperately and put the back of
it to her cheek.  The paramedics let me know they were ready to
take me to the hospital.  I was pretty pushy to have Jessica in
the ambulance with me.

During the ride I told her to grab my cell-phone and look through
it's directory for my manager's number;  When she dialed it she
awaited his answer and put the phone to my ear.  I was able to
bring him up to date but had to ask which hospital we were
heading for before I could let him know.

We arrived at the ER and I was wheeled into one of the treatment
rooms and moved to the bed as they wired me up to the EKG
monitor. Jessica was escorted out, carrying my cell-phone.  I
could tell she was upset.

My medical interviews were more detailed than normal; One
resident (a Cardiologist) discussed my "occurrence".

"Your heart apparently did stop for a short bit there while your
girlfriend there applied CPR.  Once it was restarted she called
for help but you still didn't have a normal rhythm. The EMT's
were able to put a monitor on you that didn't indicate a normal
heart attack;  You were going at about 30 beats per minute.  If
your EKG hadn't stabilized just before you woke up we'd've put a
pacemaker in you.  Can you tell me what you were doing just
before you passed out?"

"I had a pleasant breakfast and Jessica came up to me and hugged
me, and called me..."  I could feel something wrong and the EKG
display, just by the doctor's head showed that my heart rate
wasn't steady any more.  I felt a little dizzy and slightly
light-headed and went on with "...Daddy, which felt so good."  I
could feel myself coming back as I saw my heartbeat go steady
again.  It looked like I was only dropping 1 beat out of 5 or 6.

This doctor (and the others who had shown up when the EKG showed
the uneven beat) listened to me while watching the monitor.  My
heartbeat was pretty regular except for ocassionally missing a
beat.

"Well, Jack, so far it sure looks like you've had a coronary
spasm. For now, though, we need to run some additional tests, so
you're being admitted to the CCU; We'll need an echocardiogram
and we'll be taking some more blood over the next day to see what
kind of damage your heart has suffered.  Take it easy for now, it
doesn't look like you'll be going to work soon."

I relaxed on the bed.  "Could you let Jessie come back and sit by
me?"

"Are you sure?  It sure sounds like your problems started
when..."

I had to interrupt him-  "I'll be fine.  I need to talk to her,
and I think she needs to talk to me right now.  Please have her
sent in."

He nodded.  Within 5 minutes (perhaps a new record) Jessica was
sitting in my little room.  She quickly positioned herself to
hold my hand and again put it to her cheek.  Her face was drawn
and I could tell she was still upset.  I smiled at her.  "It
looks like I'll be a guest here for a few days;  I suspect it'll
be nothing major and I'll be able to get out of here soon."  I
pulled my hand with hers back to me and kissed the back of her
hand.  "I'm sorry if it looked like I was going to abandon you. 
As much as joining my wife and children would've sounded good to
me a few days ago..."

"Oh, I understand.  When you started to collapse I was able to
cushion your fall.  Fortunately I've had CPR and first aid
training, so I was able to check your pulse and respiration-  of
which you had neither. It was only after you were breathing on
your own again that I was able to get to the phone.  I'm glad you
responded so quickly.  After my dreams last night I couldn't bear
to lose you.  I'm sorry I was so selfish-  I needed you with me
right now.  While pushing on your chest I was pleading with you
not to die.  I was so scared..."

I pulled her as close to me as possible and wrapped my IV
encumbered arms around her and told her "I'll take care of you.
Thank you for taking care of me."

With that we broke it up and I had her fishing through my clothes
to get my wallet and other items.  I pulled out my checkbook and
my debit card. "Jessie, here's one of my debit cards.  The PIN is
6016.  You'll need this to pull money for the cab fare home and
any groceries.  Here's a check to you for $1500;  I figure you'll
need this to get your own account started up.  Right now it might
be best for you to head home for a bit.  Oh, yes, the root login
on the authentication server is i-d-a-space-k-n-zero-w, all lower
case.  Set up an account and home directory for yourself.  I
think you're smart enough to avoid doing too much as root.  While
I'm in here I want to make sure that you're safe and
comfortable."

Her face ran a whole array of expressions-  covering incredulity
more than once and shock towards the end.  She was obviously
surprised that I'd trust her with my bank account, but seemed
more astonished by my trusting her with my home network's root
password.

"OK, Jack, I'll do that.  Is there anything special I'll need to
do?"

"Keep yourself fed, warm and dry.  Consider yourself, for now, as
my adult daughter who's visiting from out of town.  I don't know
why, but I feel like I can trust you.  I feel strongly about
that.  Leave me my cell-phone and head on home, girl, you've got
a network to discover and a house to explore."

I hadn't seen an expression like that since early in my
relationship with Jane, my wife;  This time I felt warm inside. 
As Jessica smiled I got more of the effect of it.  Apparently
repeated exposure was getting through to me.

Shortly afterwards I was moved to a more portable bed, along with
the EKG monitor and- worrisome to me- a portable defibrillator. 
My IVs bags got moved and I was being pushed along to the CCU
where I was transferred to a bed and re-wired to the monitoring
equipment there.  The headache from the nitroglycerin wasn't all
that much fun either and my nose was already incredibly cold and
dry from the oxygen coming through the nasal prongs.

I was able to nap and awakened to a kiss on my forehead, received
from Jessica.  I couldn't help but smile and reached for her
hand.  Her smile in return felt good to me;  I could almost feel
the cobwebs clearing out of my head-  and heart.  Once I was
"alert and oriented" we made some small talk.  She'd gone to my
credit union and joined ("if it's good enough for you, Jack, it's
good enough for me") and had set up her own user id on my home
systems before coming back to visit me.

"Actually, given the way these organizations work, I'm surprised
they let you in to see me;  I figured that they'd do the normal
and restrict visitors to family members."

She smiled and held up her left hand, where I spied a wedding
band.  "I found this next to where the key-ring you gave mecame
from;  I'm lucky it fit me at all.  I lucked out in that it was
almost prescient.  When they started to give me a hard time I
claimed I was your wife.  Things straightened out quickly after
that.  I hope you don't mind;  I grabbed the ring on the off
chance and it turned out to work. I hope that I haven't
embarassed you..."

Her smile had flickered on and off and she ended with a wistful
look.

I had to start giggling.  "Embarassed?  Far from it. Flattered,
yes, at my age it'd sure look like I robbed a cradle somewhere,
and you're such an attractive young woman on top of that."

Things settled down after that and we talked a bit more before
her time was up.  It was easy for me to see that she was more
attentive to me than I had ever experienced before;  Even Jane
never followed my eyes and face so closely.

I suddenly realized that I had reciprocated;  I had noticed far
more about her mood and appearance than I ever remembered doing
with Jane. What was happening to me?

The counterpoint to this was my loss of enthusiasm once she
stepped back out and reality re-asserted itself.  I didn't sink
back to the depths of my despair;  I was buoyed up with a new
mission:  to protect and nurture my "daughter".  I didn't realize
at the time that we'd already looked at a next level.

One of the younger nurses stopped by for a bit and asked me about
my visitor-  commenting that she was surprised to find me with
such a young wife.  I smiled.  I wasn't going to clarify the
situation any further;  I didn't want that particular visitor
blocked.

Cutting to the chase, 24 hours after admission I was moved to the
cardiac step-down unit where visiting hours-  and visitors- 
weren't as tightly screened.  For the two days in that unit,
wearing an EKG transmitter (I joked that I was radio station
WEKG) Jessica was able to spend much more time with me and always
made sure to kiss me on forehead and hugged me.  Talking to her
through what the hospital referred to as meals took my mind off
what I was was consuming-  so I spent little time trying to
identify what was on my fork.

My dreams were still being visited by Jane, Julia and Jeff, but
were no longer guilt inducers, but they seemed to be talking
about Jessica. Jane, in one dream, told me point-blank to take
care of Jessica as my next wife.  "You have some catching up to
do."

My relationship with Jessica had blossomed so quickly.  My
ability to sleep well had finally come back;  No longer did I
awake from nightmares.  Jessica was fun to be around and, with
her exotic appearance, was a knock-out.

Discharge was fairly quiet;  I was to be out of work (disability)
for 30 days.  Despite being told that I'd need a Thallium stress
test, I was told I could resume normal sexual activity.  The
smirk on the guy's face faded when Jessica came in to meet me,
again wearing the wedding band.  I actually felt good.

Jessica brought me back home using my car;  I was quite
comfortable cranking back the passenger seat and letting her
drive.  She initially seemed worried-  I suspect she was
concerned that I would disapprove of her using my car.  I made
sure she could tell I was happy with her choice.

My first meal back at home was quiet but comfortable; It was
funny how relaxed I was around her.  She had cooked up a nice
simple meal that was well within my narrow dietary preferences
(my tastes run to bland foods) and I thanked her and helped her
with the dishes.

I'd just finished loading the dishwasher when I felt her arms
around me;  Turning to face her I wrapped my arms around her and
cradled her head on my shoulder and started rocking her.  From
her sighs I could tell she was comfortable in my arms-  as I was
comfortable.  I was making my own "noises of happiness" in my
chest before we finally released each other.

When I went to bed I didn't even bother checking my e-mail. 
Despite all of the rest I got in the hospital it felt so good to
be in my own bed with the covers pulled up.  I was asleep almost
instantly.  I also awoke in the middle of the night with a full
bladder, which I got up to relieve.  Jane had visited me again
tonight, telling me to go to Jessica, that she needed me, so,
before returning to bed, I checked the house and came past
Jessie's room and heard quiet sobbing-  it was certainly not
snoring.  I tapped the door.

"Jessie, are you all right?"

I heard the sniffling stop and heard her come to the door, which
opened, and found myself in another embrace.  By a very beautiful
young woman in a t-shirt.  She spoke into my chest "Please hold
me..." I could feel my own shirt getting wet from her tears. I
tightened my hold and kissed her hair.

Figuring that it couldn't hurt I led her to my bed; Shedding my
robe so I was only in my underwear, I climbed in and she cuddled
up to my left side, so I placed myself in my own long-missed
place: I spooned her with an arm under her head and another on
her hip.  I think we both passed out once we had the covers on.

I was the first to awaken (I think) and I heard her snoring-  a
gentle buzzing, at least as pleasant and reassuring as Jane's had
been.  Her gentle snore helped be fall back to sleep.

The next time I faded in I was lying on my back with a beautiful
set of eyes watching me-  and the rest of her body snuggled up to
my left side.  Her own left hand was across my chest.

If there is a more pleasant way to wake up that's more reassuring
I've never heard of or seen it.  When she realized I was again
alert she smiled.  If I had been still functional I think I
would've let loose in my own shorts.  I smiled back and patted
her on the shoulder and we got up to ready ourselves for the day.
 I headed for my bathroom, she headed into the hall.

I was in the shower when I was interrupted, finding a gloriously
unclad- and wet- young woman in my shower with me.  I was in a
close hug and (instinctually?) hugged her back.  There was a lot
of "mmmmm" sounds between us.

I was glad I didn't rise to the occasion;  That would've felt
like sacrilege.

I started rubbing her back with the soap I had in my hand and
worked it in from her neck to her (very squeezable) butt. All of
a sudden she turned around, placed my soapy hands on her breasts,
and she told me to soap up her front too-  and warned me not to
miss any spots.  So I did so.  It had been a very long time since
I had such a willing partner in the shower;  Jane had never been
particularly enamored with the idea of doing more than merely
getting clean when we shared the shower.

After I had also soaped up her legs and arms, she rinsed off and
took the soap from me.  All of a sudden I had her arms around me
and her hands were soaping my back, which felt good.  She then
had me turn around and I continued to feel her breasts rubbing my
back, just as they had rubbed my chest.  Her nipples were large
and hard and felt good on me.

Her cleansing of me was pretty thorough-  more so than mine had
been. I had been trying to maintain some distance from her. Her
work on my nipples was impressive, but she worked down to my
groin before I was really expecting anything.  I was suddenly
quite erect-  Something I hadn't felt in over three years.  Her
slick hand worked me to a fast orgasm, which I sprayed on the
wall.  My legs got shaky and she helped me to the seat in the
shower stall, where she continued on my legs and arms, then we
rinsed.  It was a blissful time and I kept wanting to thank her,
pulling her to me and...

...we shared our first real kiss.  I concentrated on the kiss so
much that it was a surprise to feel her impaled on my renewed
erection.  I just barely noticed the momentary pause on the way
down and her tightened arms as we reached full penetration.  I
was still on a bit of a hair trigger between the clinch and her
tight spasming vagina, so I drained another load of semen into
her.  I felt bad that she hadn't had a chance to catch up with me
but she suddenly pulled loose from my lips and threw her head
back and screamed "Yes!" as her body went into wild spasms around
my cock.

When she finally pulled free of my limpness, I noticed the pink
stain on me and turned to her "Oh!  I'm sorry!  Were you..."

She smiled to me with her icecap-melting smile; Despite having
been drained twice in 15 minutes, one portion of my anatomy
snapped to attention without going through the at-ease position.

"Jack, yes, I was.  I'm sorry, but as much as being your daughter
would be wonderful, I want more.  When I found Jane's ring on the
shelf I was fantasizing about being your wife and had to play
with myself.  Let's dry off and then you take me to bed.  I've a
lot of lost time to make up for."

I followed my new lover's advice and thought that she'd be a
wonderful wife.

Jane, Julia and Jeff still visited my dreams-  which were now
happy occasions.  I missed them, but was told that I needed to
face the future, not the past.

      *  *  *

Rain.  It was raining.  After another long dry spell, it was
raining. And not the gentle patter, but the full downpour out of
a dark sky, occasionally lit by the strobe of a lightning flash,
the thunder being swallowed in the rain.

The world outside was weeping- but in joy, not sadness.

I was content.  I held my wife in my arms and rubbed her brown
belly where my daughter lay growing, kicking at my white hand. 
Kissing Jessica's shoulder brought me her smile, helping me to
enjoy the show outside, for I was warmed through and through.

        Fini



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