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From: dd writer <ddwriter45@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} Rape Trauma Recovery
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 06:10:02 -0400
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Recovery from Rape Trauma

I'm a third year medical student and my wife, Laura,
is a doctoral student in counseling psychology with an
interest in trauma recovery, particularly rape trauma.
 We are both 26 years old.

Laura and one of her classmates, Marty, have become
close friends, although Marty and I have never met -
that is, we've never met in the ordinary sense of that
word.  Let me explain.

Marty, also a doctoral student in psychology and 24
years of age, recently disclosed to Laura that she was
raped when she was 15 by a boy, Rod, who was 17 at the
time and whom she had dated only a couple of times. 
Their two dates had consisted only of going to movies;
the rape occurred in his car after their second date. 
Rod had driven his car to a secluded area to make out.
 Marty had never had sex before the rape and has never
had sex since - she can't get over the fear of being
helpless and vulnerable while alone with men.  She
remembers that her rapist had an unusually large
penis, causing the rape was physically painful as well
as emotionally traumatic.  Although Marty has received
extensive psychological counseling, she is still so
fearful of men that she cannot become intimate.  At
24, she is worried that she cannot have a fulfilling
adult life until she finds a way to recover from the
trauma of her rape nine years ago.

Marty disclosed her rape experience and her fears to
Laura, who is an exceptionally good listener and a
wonderfully supportive friend, as well as a specialist
in rape trauma.  Laura had an idea about a treatment
for Marty that involved me.  She talked her idea over
with me and asked me if I were willing to participate.
 In reply to my curiosity, Laura explained that Marty
is very attractive, petite and trim with a sizable
bust and a cute face.  I was willing, so she proposed
her idea to Marty, who also accepted, although with
some trepidation.  This story tells what happened.

Laura explained to Marty that I am an intelligent,
sensitive, caring, and emotionally healthy man . . .
and also extremely well endowed - my erect penis is
nearly eleven inches long.  Laura's plan involved
inviting Marty to our home where I would be already
bound, hands and feet tied to the four corners of our
king-size bed.  A large sheet would be completely
covering my body except for a hole where my penis and
testicles would be passed through and accessible to
Marty and Laura for use during the therapy.  The hole
had a drawstring so it could be slightly tightened
around the base of my penis and under my scrotum,
causing my external sex organs to be the only visible
part of my body.  I would have earphones with music so
I could not hear what Laura and Marty would be saying
during the session.  Also, I was committed to not
speaking throughout the treatment so Marty would not
feel that she was with a "real human being."  In
effect, my disembodied genitals would symbolically
represent her rapist, and would be used to help Marty
work through her fears, feelings of helplessness, and
anxiety about being out of control with men in sexual
situations.

The therapy session was scheduled to begin at 1:00 pm
on a Saturday afternoon and last as long as necessary,
perhaps into the evening.

Marty arrived exactly on time and rang the doorbell. 
Laura had prepared me on the bed and gave me an
appreciative kiss before putting on the earphones and
pulling the sheet over my head.  Finally, she placed a
small towel over my genitals before answering the
door.  Much of the following report is from Laura,
since I was not able to see or hear anything until the
session was over many hours later.

Laura accompanied Marty into our bedroom.  Laura had
suggested that they both dress in skimpy negligee to
heighten Marty's feeling of being exposed and
vulnerable, albeit in a safe situation.  (Laura wore
negligee simply to be "in sympathy" with Marty to
increase her comfort.)  Laura explained that although
I was her husband, Marty should let go of any feelings
about "being with another woman's husband" or other
concerns about Laura's jealousy or possessiveness of
me.  Rather, she helped Marty regard my genitals as
simply a physical object that she could experience in
any way she wished.  Marty understood that I would not
speak or otherwise manifest my "humanity" as a known
person.  The only rule about using my genitals in this
therapeutic setting was that Marty must not hurt or
injure me.  However, she could disregard my sexual
needs entirely.  Indeed, Marty was not to feel
responsible for taking care of me or responding to my
needs.  In fact, the therapy plan included allowing
Marty to frustrate me mercilessly as a way to
experience a sense of control and power while being
with men.

Laura and Marty sat cross-legged across from each
other with my mid-section directly between them. 
After a few minutes' talking to help Marty relax and
become oriented to the setting, Laura invited Marty to
remove the towel from my genitals whenever she felt
ready to do so.  As I felt the towel being slowing
pulled aside, my already half-erect penis quickly grew
to its full eleven-inch dimension as I realized a
woman whom I had never met was gazing at my exposed
genitals.  

Now that my genitals were on full display to Marty,
Laura said:
"Marty, think of these sex organs as the 'Universal
Male' - not as belonging to any particular man.  They
are a part of every man - your rapist who used them to
violate and hurt you, your father who spawned you,
your future lovers who will use them to give you
pleasure, your future spouse who will use them to
father your children, and your sons, if you have male
children.  But before you can have healthy
relationships with male people, you have some
unfinished business with your rapist.  The opportunity
you have today is to progress toward completion of
that business, to come to terms with his maleness that
hurt you, and to differentiate your rapist from other
men."

Laura continued: "When you were raped, you were
vulnerable.  No one was there to protect you from Rod,
who abused his power and who exploited your trusting
vulnerability to satisfy his own selfish needs.  But
right now you are safe in the presence of the
Universal Male.  You are the one who has control.  The
male is securely tied up and not able to move.  He
can't hear you, or see you, or speak to you - you are
anonymous in his presence and free to do whatever you
feel comfortable doing, and feel that you should do,
to finish your unfinished business.  You and I - two
women - are the only real people in this room.  I hope
you can trust me to help you heal your hurt, and to
guide you in using these sex organs of the Universal
male, which are provided for you simply for that
purpose."

Marty fully understood what Laura meant in this
opening statement, and was immediately able to
perceptually frame their setting as Laura proposed. 
As a check, Laura asked Marty how many people are in
the room.  "Two," replied Marty.

Laura encouraged Marty to discuss her feelings as she
looked at a huge penis - indeed, any penis - for the
first time in nine years.  Marty replied that she felt
a complex mixture of fear, anger, fascination, and
some sexual curiosity.  Laura invited Marty, whenever
she felt ready, to touch and explore the sex organs of
the Universal Male.  With some hesitation, Marty
reached out and lightly touched the skin of my shaft. 


For several more minutes she lightly touched me as she
tentatively explored these foreign and frightening
male sex organs.  She examined the texture and
viscosity of my precum, which was already generously
oozing from the tip, spreading it over my pulsing
glans.  Laura continuously invited Marty to describe
her emotions as she explored my genitals, and Marty
became more comfortable revealing her deep anxieties,
imagery, and feelings to Laura.  Over the next half
hour or more, Laura invited Marty to become more
assertively exploratory with her touch.  In time, she
wrapped a hand around my shaft and felt my testicles,
pushing them around inside my scrotum.  She gradually
felt more authorized and assertive in making contact
with this quintessentially male object - my genitals -
the sex organs of the Universal Male.

Marty then reported a flashback she was having about
the rape experience.  Rod had taken his penis out of
his pants and tried to get Marty to touch it.  She
refused.  He then forcibly took her hand and put it
around his erection, making her move her hand up and
down to masturbate him.  She became frightened as Rod
got more aroused and aggressive, so she pulled her
hand away.  That's when he got angry and raped her. 
Thereafter, male sexual arousal felt dangerous to her.

To help Marty understand male sexuality, Laura
demonstrated how men masturbate by gripping my cock
mid-shaft and pumping several times, causing the skin
to ride up over my corona.  She then guided Marty's
hands to do the same, explaining that only a minute or
so of this action in my state of arousal would cause
me to ejaculate.  Marty became anxious and fearful as
she sensed the hardening of my cock and the quickening
of my breathing, recalling how this had happened just
before Rod raped her.  Laura reminded Marty that she
could stop masturbating me any time she wanted to,
regardless of how aroused I became, and that I was
completely restrained and so could not force her to do
anything.  Marty was gradually beginning to feel that
she did indeed have control over the Universal Male,
and would never again be his victim.

Laura also demonstrated how to handle testicles,
including how firmly they can be squeezed before
causing significant discomfort or pain.  With Laura's
expert coaching, Marty was able to grip my testicles
in her hand so she had the feeling of "having a man by
the balls."  The fact that she could, if she chose,
give them a crushing squeeze and that "he" (that is,
I) could do nothing to prevent it, was an empowering
experience for Marty.  She experimented with gripping
my balls until Laura recognized by my body movements
indicated that I was beginning to feel pain, and
coached Marty to relax her grip slightly.  With both
hands gripping my testicles, she was able to voice her
feeling of power, "Now I've got you by the balls, big
guy.  What are you going to do about it?  It's my turn
to call the shots now.  How do you like that?!"  She
gave them a quick squeeze, causing my body to tense. 
Laura reported later that Marty smiled with pleasure
at her feminine power over the male aggressor.

Next, Laura began to help Marty experience the power
of controlling the male's orgasm, noting that many
women feel that men control sexual experiences by the
urgency of their orgasms.  This was very meaningful to
Marty, since she had felt during the rape that her
Rod's overwhelming urgency to climax was what drove
him to attack and violate her.  During this therapy
session, Laura invited Marty to resolve to regain a
feeling of power by exercising complete control over
my orgasm, allowing me to have no influence whatsoever
over its timing.

Marty needed help with this since she had never
experienced a man's orgasm except on the occasion of
the rape.  Because of her trauma, she had never
fondled a man so she did not recognize the stages of
arousal and imminent ejaculation.  Laura proceeded to
expertly teach her these skills and sensitivities.

All the while, I was lying bound and completely
helpless, unable to see or hear, entirely covered by a
sheet except for my sex organs protruding through the
drawstring hole, visualizing my wife with another
woman who was a stranger to me manipulating my
genitals - an extremely erotic image.  Laura and I had
refrained from having sex for a few days so that my
physical reactions during the session would be
intensified for Marty's benefit.  I was approaching a
state of nearly unbearable sexual tension.  But relief
was not "near at hand."  The session had gone only a
couple of hours by this time, and it would be several
more hours before I was delivered of my agony.  

Forcing my legs farther part and my knees to bend so
the soles of my feet were facing each other, Laura sat
between them to demonstrate how to grasp my testicles
in her left hand, pulling them slightly away from my
body, while slowly stroking my throbbing erection with
her right hand.  In this position, she showed Marty
how to recognize the visual and tactile signs of
approaching ejaculation, such as the involuntary
retraction of my testicles, the darkening redness of
my glans, the hardening sponginess of my corona, as
well as my breathing.

After Laura's expert demonstration, Marty assumed the
position between my legs.  In this "driver's seat,"
she was invited to arouse, frustrate, and deny my
orgasm as long as she wished.  Marty quickly became
quite skilled at this, bringing me tantalizing close
to ejaculating, then removing her hands and watching
my pulsating cock bounce in space, frantically seeking
more stimulation.  Although I was committed to not
speaking words, my groans and guttural moans of
desperate yet powerless urgency added to Marty's
experience of being in control.  Although I could not
hear Marty's voice, Laura reported later that Marty
was able, with Laura's facilitation, to give voice to
her anger with expressions such as, "Take that, you
bastard!"  "How do you like being the one who hurts,
asshole!"  You think I care about your needs? . . .
think again, motherfucker!"  "Time for you to suffer,
jerk!"  At times, I could hear Marty's voice over the
music in my headphones as she shouted epithets at the
man who raped her, represented symbolically by my
sexual organs.  Over and over, Marty would bring me
close to ejaculating, stop, remove her hands, lean
back on her backstretched arms in a posture of
taunting disregard to watch the display of my sexual
frustration, then yell angrily, releasing her pent-up
rage that had built up over the past nine years since
her rape.

Marty again recalled her rape, tearfully saying she
wished she could have had this control over Rod.  It
would have been nice, she said, to be able to explore
her sexual curiosity about his genitals without fear
that he would attack her when he become aroused.  She
slapped herself on her knees several times in
frustration and anger.

Recognizing that Marty needed to cathartically express
her aggressive physical energy, Laura showed her how
she could slap my huge throbbing cock, knocking it
from side to side like a bozo doll, without injuring
me or causing great pain.  Being able to physically
strike at the hated object of her rage was very
therapeutic for Marty, and she did so vigorously for a
long time.  Laura told me later that Marty swung her
open hand as hard as she could, slapping my erection
while gripping my testicles in her other hand, yelling
and cursing, ventilating her rage.  When my cock
slightly softened, she would pump it again until it
was fully engorged and near orgasm, imagining that she
was punishing Rod for his selfish insistence on sexual
gratification.  She felt she was getting revenge
against her rapist, evening the score that had been so
imbalanced these past nine years.  This went on for
over an hour as I endured helplessly and mostly
silently.  Lying with my legs spread wide and knees
bent, with this angry man-hating woman sitting between
them, I was completely vulnerable to her aggression. 
I was protected only by Laura's moderating guidance of
Marty's anger.  I shuttered to think of what Marty, in
her rage, might do to my exposed and vulnerable balls
if Laura were not there to protect me.

Eventually . . . at about 6 pm, five hours after we
began . . . Marty's anger began to subside, gradually
being replaced by more tender and sexual feelings. 
She told Laura she would like to see semen, for the
first time in her life.  Semen represented to Marty a
more life-affirming and less dangerous aspect of the
Universal Male.  Laura, wanting to preserve my
complete ejaculation for a possible later purpose
(I'll explain soon), agreed to show Marty how to bring
out just a small drop of semen.  She gripped the base
of my penis while also forcing my testicles to be
extended from my body.  She then carefully stroked my
shaft until she felt my testicles retract and a
thickening of the base of my penis caused by the first
surge of semen begin to enter it.  My body shuttered
with agonizing frustration when she stopped stroking
at the exact moment that allowed only a small drop of
milky fluid to emerge from the tip.  I could barely
maintain my commitment to not speak, wanting to
shamelessly beg for release.  Actually, I did quietly
utter "please" through clenched teeth in a deep groan.
 Laura said that Marty's demeanor seemed to change at
that moment, recognizing that there was a real person
attached to the penis who was suffering intensely
under her control.

After pausing about 30 seconds to let my interrupted
ejaculation subside, and with her hand still gripping
my balls, Laura invited Marty to take the drop of
semen between her fingers to compare its consistency
and slickness to precum, and to taste it.  At first
Marty didn't want to taste my semen, but when she saw
Laura put it to her tongue she agreed to try.  But, as
the first drop of semen had already been removed,
Laura carefully and firmly gripped my shaft about
mid-length between her thumb and forefinger and slowly
stripped it toward the top, which brought another
small milky drop to the surface.  Laura put her lips
around my glans and licked it off, then asked Marty if
she would like to do that.  Marty was emotionally
touched by seeing the mouth-to-penis contact, saying
it resembled a tender and affectionate kiss.  So,
Laura stripped my penis again, this time from its
base, and one more drop of semen emerged, which Marty
then took into her mouth by putting her lips around my
glans.  If she had not paused for several seconds, the
sensation of her mouth on my penis would have brought
on an uncontrollable eruption of semen.  Instead,
Marty learned that, notwithstanding their urgent
protestations, men can survive even the most intense
sexual frustration - even interrupted orgasm at the
moment it begins.

My erection had barely softened at all, since Laura
had so expertly limited the release of semen to only a
few drops.  I still had a full load of ejaculate
waiting to be released.  For the next several minutes
Laura and Marty were apparently talking to each other,
while gently stroking my penis, which brought it back
to full engorgement.  It actually felt like their
stroking was absent-minded, as if their attention was
focused on something else.  The next thing I knew, one
of the women (I didn't know which one at the time)
straddled my torso on her hands and knees.  I could
feel my penis being rubbed against wet, hot labia
before being guided to the opening of a vagina.  Very
slowly, its tip was gently slipped between her labia
and pressed against the opening.

Since I knew well the feeling of Laura's vagina, and
sensing this one was very tight, it was now clear that
my penis was at the vestibule of Marty's vagina - an
immensely erotic realization, heightened by the fact
that I had never seen her nor talked to her.  I
understood that, for the benefit of her therapeutic
experience, I must remain completely still, allowing
her to have total control over how quickly and how
deeply I entered her.  Despite a nearly overwhelming
urge to thrust my cock into her, I forced myself to
remain motionless, granting her complete control over
what was happening.  After all, I reminded myself,
this was therapy, not an ordinary sexual act.

Later I learned that Laura had invited Marty to
experiment with putting my erect penis to her
genitals, to rub it against her labia, and to let it
enter her as far as she was comfortable.  Laura had
selflessly offered to leave the room to give Marty
privacy while she experimented with voluntary sexual
intercourse for the first time in her life.  But the
bond of trust had formed so strongly between the two
women that Marty asked Laura to stay to provide
additional guidance.

I could tell that Marty was fumbling and unfamiliar
with how to guide my penis into her vagina, which was
complicated by the fact of my size.  After a few
minutes, I could feel Marty getting off of me and
Laura getting on.  Laura expertly guided my penis
slowly into her vagina, apparently demonstrating for
Marty how it is done.  She then slowly moved her body
up and down a few times, deliciously milking my shaft,
before settling down as far as she was able before my
penis reached her cervix, showing Marty about four
inches of my shaft remained outside her vagina.  She
also pointed out that I did not attempt to thrust
deeper, which could hurt or injure a woman, and
reassured Marty that she could safely let my penis
fill her up without fear of being hurt.

Although Laura and I both wanted to complete my orgasm
immediately, she moved off of my body so Marty could
remount me.  I could feel two sets of hands on my
penis as they guided me gently between Marty's outer
labia and into her opening.   It took several minutes
of slow, gentle, and intermittent pressure, completely
controlled by her, for my penis to enter her.  As a
safety measure for Marty, Laura kept her fist tightly
around my shaft, first allowing only a couple of
inches to enter Marty's vagina at first, then
gradually moving her fist down the shaft to allow more
length to enter.  I "hit bottom" with about five
inches of my length still to go (A disadvantage of
being eleven inches long is that I have never felt the
satisfaction of being inserted "to the hilt" - but I'm
not complaining!).  As I remained completely
motionless, Marty slowly moved up and down, sliding my
shaft in and out of her nearly virginal vagina.  Once
she became comfortable and confident that I would not
thrust and hurt her, Laura removed her fist so Marty
could be in full control of her first true act of
sexual intercourse.  She gradually quickened the pace
of her movement and I could sense that she was
approaching orgasm.  Because of the partial
ejaculation earlier, my orgasmic response was dulled,
which allowed Marty to have a complete orgasm before I
ejaculated.  Through my earphones I could hear her
loud gasps as she climaxed.  At the moment she stopped
moving I was again on the edge of ejaculating.  My
temptation was immense to thrust slightly, which would
have launched a spasm that I could not have
controlled.  But, realizing that this was an extremely
delicate moment in Marty's therapeutic recovery from
rape trauma, I forced myself to remain motionless.

When her orgasm was complete, Marty relaxed, lowered
her body, laying her chest on mine, with my pulsing
erection still inside, still lodged against her
cervix.  For the first time, I could feel the
ampleness of her bare breasts as they pressed against
my chest through the thin sheet.  I could tell by her
body's movements that she was sobbing.  The convulsing
of her body while sobbing nearly caused me to
ejaculate, despite my remaining motionless.  She cried
loudly for several minutes, gradually beginning to
speak to Laura about her feelings of grief mixed with
happiness.  All the while, I stayed completely quiet
so she could have all the time she needed to resolve
her emotions and become ready to move away from me. 
Indeed, it was her tears of release and relief that
constituted the main "therapeutic moment" of her
experience that day - I swore to not selfishly
interfere with her healing.

After Marty moved off of me, I was again lying with
only my genitals exposed to these two women as they
continued talking.  After a while, I felt Laura's
familiar mouth envelope the head of my penis and begin
to caress my glans with her tongue.  Then I felt a
different mouth, as Marty did the same.  They switched
back and forth several times, as Laura instructed
Marty in the finer points of fellatio.  Again I was
approaching orgasm, hoping that this time I would
finally be allowed to have a complete ejaculation, yet
still being unsure what Laura had in mind as the
therapist.  When I began to spurt, I realized my time
had finally come.  I tried to control the muscular
spasms that wracked my body, but wasn't completely
successful - I felt two hands firmly gripping my
exploding penis, preventing it from thrusting too
deeply into my deliverer's throat.

It was Marty's mouth that received my voluminous semen
that had been built up over the past seven hours of
this unique therapy session.  I could feel the
tenderness and affection transmitted through her lips
and hands as she gave me the full satisfaction I
yearned for.  She seemed to be telling me how much she
appreciated my help.  I felt for the first time that
she acknowledged that I was a real human being in the
room with her, not just a set of sex organs
representing the Universal Male.

As I lay exhausted, I was barely aware that the two
women left the room.  In a few minutes, Laura
returned, removed the sheet that was over my body,
untied me, and removed the headphones.  It felt
wonderful to be free to move my body again.  We smiled
and kissed as she lay down beside me.

In that interim, Laura had accompanied Marty to the
door, and they had hugged in a tearful embrace that
perhaps only women can completely understand.

I did not actually meet Marty "in person" for nearly a
year after that experience.  Then, last week, I
attended a party held for Laura's graduating class. 
Laura guided me to a corner of the room and introduced
me to a beautiful, petite young woman and her male
companion.

"Honey, I'd like you to meet my friend Marty.  And
this is her boyfriend, Jerry."  We exchanged the usual
greetings that accompany such introductions, but with
a special twinkle in our eyes.

Marty and Jerry looked happy together.


__________________________________________________
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