Message-ID: <38137asstr$1031145004@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net> X-Original-Message-ID: <20020904034733.21688.qmail@nym.alias.net> From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net> X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 4 Sep 2002 03:47:33 -0000 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson's Top Stories - August 2002 Date: Wed, 4 Sep 2002 09:10:04 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38137> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: gill-bates, IceAltar, kelly For convenience, I've included the reviews for the top stories this month, below the list summary. Hope this helps. As always, this top story list is only my opinion of the best stories posted in the preceding month or so -- it is not based on technical merits, or erotic content, but rather my relative personal enjoyment of the varying stories presented for whatever reasons. It is not a popularity contest or a vote, nor is it a definitive guide. Your tastes likely differ from mine. As always, thanks to all the authors out there for all the stories. - Crimson (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Crimson's Top Stories - August 2002 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ # 1 Anglo-Saxon Chronicles Part One -- smilodon # 2 Catharsis -- Hammon Wry/E. Howe # 3 Koochy -- Bradley Stoke # 4 Roundabout -- Lord Malinov # 5 Eros in Love -- Oke # 6 Bird Watching in French Lick -- Mat Twassel # 7 The Case of the Extortive Escort Service -- Souvie # 8 The Girl with the Goodbye Eyes -- Erin Halfelven # 9 Rising to the Occasion -- smilodon #10 Panic Attack -- Dryad ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Anglo-Saxon Chronicles Part One. -- smilodon (Historical, No Sex, Caution) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38010 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Smilodoings/ I really didn't quite know what I was getting into when I began this. First of all, I don't normally review multi-part stories. Then there was no sex, and a caution in the banner. But this was smilodon, and I felt like reading it. Don't be dissuaded by what I presupposed. For starters, the story stands on its own -- the "Part One" refers to a continuing anthology, but doesn't indicate, at least for this story, any requirement to read further. This is historical fiction, carefully crafted and believable. I must admit to a weakness towards middle English history, and this story satiated my thirst. It is the story of a soldier, or rather the son of a noble, fighting the Danes circa 870 AD. What results is a masterful telling of heroism, and love, and history. While even the author claims to have taken liberties, the resulting fiction is fun and readable and probably for the most part accurate. The characters come alive; personally, I really enjoyed the narrator, Beate, and Ivar (more truthfully, I hated Ivar as much as I was supposed to). The plot moves along drawing the characters together in medieval England. As advertised, there isn't much sex here, and what is here seems almost necessary for the plot. However, there's an underlying eros here, especially in the subtle heroism. Eros doesn't have to come from graphic sex scenes. If pumping hydraulics are what you're looking for, then this story may not be for you, but if you are looking for an entertaining story, with some eros adjusted to the times underlying it, smilodon does a wonderful job. And, any story that mentions dragons, can't be bad: [ The great axes smote them. The golden dragon banner flew above our heads; we roared our war-shout in defiant unison, ... ] Smilodon, I'm sure that history has warped the real red-hued dragon into this golden facsimile. I know. I was there. <grin> Truly worth reading. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Catharsis -- Hammon Wry/E. Howe (MF Dom/Humil Vag Fist Anal Safe) http://members.cox.net/ehowe/catharsis.html http://members.cox.net/ehowe/DBIndex.html Dr. John Carter. Are you sure we aren't talking ER? Nevermind. Doctor Carter and Sergeant Totten are in bed, but something didn't happen quite correctly. She is seething, unsatisfied, angry. Cigarette angry. And he seems to mock her, teasing her, goading her. She erupts, and they fall into an animalistic ritual, that almost guarantees arousal by the end. I'm not sure why this piece works, but it does. There is anger, and rage, and violence, and all sorts of otherwise nasty things happening in the story, but Hammon manages to present them in such a way that it is believable, and arousing, and safe. It may not be for everyone, but I have to say that given the themes, it surprised me. It's raw. It's realistic. It's passionate. And it's very well written. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Koochy -- Bradley Stoke (FF) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Bradley_Stoke/05%20Koochy.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Bradley_Stoke/www/ Author's FTP archive (is more up-to-date than his web site) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Bradley_Stoke/ Sex. Drugs. And rock and roll -- er -- house music. Bradley follows Janine and Edie, two friends, into a North London house party where the drugs flow freely, the music pounds heavy, and the scent of sex is in the air. Janine loses Edie temporarily while dancing in a rhythmic fog, then finds Edie holed up with an anonymous guy. Shocked and hurt, Janine begins wandering, and finds Molly, a shaven-headed, pierced occupant of the house, where she finds solace, and maybe revenge, or maybe something else. I honestly didn't think I'd like this story. It's only me -- some weird aversion to heavy drugs and heavy house music. I know. I know. I'm reviewing sex stories, right? Focus. The London/French slang is daunting, and sometimes tough to follow for those not into the scene. But you know what? It doesn't matter. This is a glimpse into a different world, at least for me. Bradley brings it alive, and the girls, the party, the atmosphere comes to life for the reader in a way that I honestly didn't think would be possible for me. In that, I have to admire what Bradley has done here. The sex is hot -- definitely more than stroke fiction. The characters and the plot are all in place. I didn't see a single technical flaw. Bradley surprised me with this. This is an excellent tale, and even with my prejudices, or perhaps because of them, I have to say that overall, I really liked this story. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Roundabout -- Lord Malinov (MF voy rom) http://home1.gte.net/res0cmkt/malinov69/Roundabout.txt http://home1.gte.net/res0cmkt/malinov69/index.html An illuminated window in a sea of darkness. A neighbour, Jane, young, and desirable, caught in its glare. A young man, watching, watching, desiring, loving from the next yard, night sounds surrounding her voice: "Fuck me." The consequences melded with the twists of time. [ I reached for a stool she need at the same moment she reached, bringing us for one instant ... ] I'm not sure what happened in this sentence, but this was the only issue in the entire story that jarred me. Perhaps a leftover from a draft? The language that Malinov uses is liquid and flowing and lyrical, drawing you into the story and holding you there. I loved the cycle of time, and I loved the use of the language. I loved the characters. Truly inspiring. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Eros in Love - Oke (M/F, rom, dialogue involving rape) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38004 David, a photographer by trade, attends his accountant's stag party at a strip club. He's only there for the watered down beer, but Ashley, a new stripper, finds him, and naked, introduces herself. Ashley doesn't look very comfortable in her surroundings, but the two of them talk. Turns out David needs a new model, and Ashley is sort of willing, apparently needing the money. Ashley isn't everything she seems. First of all, she's really named Katherine, and David gets to know her while she models for him. She's a complex girl, with a past that is painful and heart-rending. In other words, Katherine/Ashley is a human being even if she takes her clothes off for a living, and better than that, David seems to realise this. We follow David and Katherine as they spiral ever so carefully towards each other. You'll have to read this to find out what eventually happens, but overall, this is a wonderful, touching, romantic, human tale with all the elements that make a story -- character, humanity, plot. It's all about trust and relationships, and the choices that we all make every day. I thoroughly enjoyed every choice that Oke made writing this. The story is very well written. It could use a little clean up, but don't let this throw you. The story more than makes up for any minor technical issues. I'll point out a few representative phrases, mostly for Oke's benefit: [ "No, you were good...very good{.}" he stammered. ] This quote problem shows up a little too often to be accidental. That period inside the quote needs to be a comma if the sentence is qualified after the quote. I know it seems like a complete sentence inside the quotes, but nevertheless, a comma is appropriate here. Check any grammar site. [ ... but Jake's using it for his wedding next {sunday}, so I'm staying here." ] Sunday is a weekday and should be capitalised. [ ... eyes, the tip of his nose. {her} hands made their way down to his chest, sliding slowly over his neck and shoulders, and back up his muscular arms. ] Sentences always need to be capitalised. While Oke doesn't slip like this as a norm, I did see it often enough through the story to mention. This is something really easy to fix that would immeasurably improve the writing. [ cereal into his mouth. They were eating breakfast now that {katherine} had showered. She was wearing a pair of running {shortts} that were two sizes too big and a sweatshirt, both borrowed from David. ] I'm sure they're only typos, but a good proof-read should catch them next time. [ "'Eros and Psyche'. You probably saw it at the apartment. {Its} from a series I did of sculptures at the Louvre in Paris. {this} sculpture is of Eros, the god of love, who revives Psyche, who was put to sleep eternally ... ] These, again, are only typos, but 'its' should be the contractive form, and 'this' should be capitalised. Again, the technical issues are correctable with a little extra time proofing, and they don't really distract from a wonderful story. The character is wonderful, the plot is beautiful, the eros anticipatory and tender. This is truly worth reading. Technical : 8 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bird Watching in French Lick -- Mat Twassel (MF) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37661 Rick and Annie both work. A lot. Annie's father, one night, amongst old records, old books, and a wonderful dinner, suggests that the couple renew themselves, a second honeymoon perhaps, at a condo in Larry Bird's old hometown -- French Lick. And so, despite Rick's gruelling schedule, Annie and Rick end up in French Lick, and Annie finds things to do. They simply might not be entirely what you expect. The pace of the story is wonderfully sedate, and we get to know Annie intimately. The intriguing part of this story is the details: the inner workings of Annie, and the world surrounding her. The wasps in the locomotive, the taste of the wine, the view from the balcony. This piece is sensuous in its very language and presentation, the characters rich with subtle eros and settings. This is a very well crafted story. Enjoy. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Case of the Extortive Escort Service -- Souvie (FFF toys oral) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Souvie/www/escort.html http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Souvie/www/ Trudy is a bored investigative reporter. By the end of this tale, Trudy wishes that she had remained bored. Her boss sends her on an undercover assignment to infiltrate an escort service looking for a potential blackmailer. With misgivings, Trudy accepts the assignment and begins the hunt. Along the way, she's pulled into some ... er ... tight situations. This is a very entertaining little tale -- a really nice change of pace. A well written mystery, with some hot sex thrown in for good measure. I had some misgivings when I began it, though I have no idea why. I suppose that it was only the cliche of using an escort service. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. Souvie did a wonderful job of convincing, and the story worked. Technically, it is very clean. Only a dropped quote in one sentence, and perhaps a missed comma or two. Nothing serious at all. [ "Hey!" I protested. "I gave {you} Priscilla my word I'd stay while she smoothed out everything with her dad. ... ] Oh, and something left over from draft stage here. I think it might be an extra 'you'. Anyway, this is a really fun story. Go read it. Technical : 9 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Girl with the Goodbye Eyes {Erin Halfelven} (lovers interlude) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37596 We all know the lovers with the eyes that say goodbye, even while their lips whisper everything we desperately want to hear. Erin touches on that in this short story, the emotional impact reaching up and grabbing. I didn't see any technical issues, Erin's revisions seem to have caught any problems in the prose. The sex is wonderful and subtle, but this isn't about the sex. Not really. It's not the happiest story in the world, but sometimes we have to enjoy what we can. And this story is very much like that. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising to the Occasion -- smilodon (M/F, Rom) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Smilodoings/ Rising%20to%20the%20Occasion.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Smilodoings/ Ben has a problem. A problem that men, well, don't like to talk about. First there was Chloe. Then Rachel. Then Emma. Then Sarah. And with each, eventually, Ben's, er, performance failed. Now, Ben is reasonably healthy, no physical reason for his lack of sexual prowess. Gay? Unlikely. And so, off Ben goes to the local head shrinker, nervous, and a tad uncomfortable. Worse, Jane, the bespectacled psychologist isn't exactly the old Freudian image that Ben was expecting. Jane makes progress, but you'll have to read the story to figure out how. This story is excellent, a love story, intermixed with passionate sex, and a sensitive plot. Smilodon provides a wonderful story here (though I have no idea why it's in there twice ...). Go read it. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Panic Attack -- Dryad (MF oral) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/panicattack.html http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/ Perhaps it has merely been one of those weeks, but I know exactly what Kim was going through. "Where the hell are my keys?" Scream therapy can be wonderfully effective. Well, Bill shows up and calms Kim down, convincing her that the committee meeting can't be all that important. The keys are by her purse, but does she really need to go? What follows is truly how to calm down a frazzled lady complete with bath, candles, fireplace, scented oil, music and a wonderful stress relief at the end. Now, I have to admit that I'm a fan of Enya, and even the mention of her music is bound to make me shiver. It sets the mood for this romantic story, and I found myself lost in it, seeing exactly what was going on, and understanding the characters, truly experiencing with all my senses. As I said, it's been one of those weeks. Technically, the story has a few issues that I'll mention below, but don't let it throw you. Dryad writes a compelling story here -- the technical issues didn't jar me, and shouldn't jar the average reader. I look for them, but if you don't the story will swallow you, and keep you. [ "You aren't presenting, right?" he looked at her questioningly. ] Dryad has an odd dialogue style. Sometimes, we get the above where I think the 'he' should have been capitalised as a separate sentence. The dialogue wasn't 'looked', it was spoken. The second phrase is a separate thought, and probably warrants a second sentence. In other places, Dryad gives us the second sentence, but arguably shouldn't. I'm not sure what is going on with that, but I suspect it is only confusion about which style to use. [ She kicked {of} her shoes, taking a deep breath. ] 'Off', I think. [ "{Its} probably the committee." She sighed heavily. ] Here, Dryad means 'it is'. The contractive form here should be "it's". Dryad makes this error in a number of places. If it had only been a typo, I probably wouldn't have mentioned it. One thing that I did notice, and that I do mention in the opposite case a fair bit: Perspective. It would have been so easy for Dryad to fall into the trap of switching back and forth between Kim and Bill throughout the story. Dryad resists temptation. The story remains firmly planted in Kim's experience, and I have to admit that I liked it even more because of that. Overall, though, while the technical issues should be resolved, they don't taint the story at all. It is still mighty easy to descend into the story and soak it in. Technical : 8 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> | | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+