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Message-ID: <38022asstr$1030482604@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Peaches and Cream  <peachescreamreviews@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews: #26
Date: Tue, 27 Aug 2002 17:10:04 -0400
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Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like
reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance
Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing
the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us
starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes
it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5
kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per
issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find
all the stories we will review. 

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest

***

Peaches & Cream Reviews: #26

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do,
something to love, and something to hope for.
-Joseph Addison

Stories to be reviewed:

When We're Ready by Krystoff Vagabond
Windy City Surprise by SEWG
Adventures of Diana and Mike by Mistress Diana
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When We're Ready by Krystoff Vagabond
(MF,Romance)
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www/whenready.html

***

Peaches:

Eric meets Alicia when they are nine years old. A mutual liking of the
same TV show helps to forge their relationship. This story progresses
through that history to present day. Hits and Misses. There are a
couple of surprises along the way, but this story had me rooting for
this couple from day one.

The story is broken up into scenes from different periods of their
growing up, each with just enough detail to define the period and just
enough connection to the previous scene, to keep the flow natural.

There's easiness to the narrating. The voice of Eric is real at nine
and at nineteen. Snippets of his inner thoughts at these different
ages really help to build his likability as the story progresses.

There are several typos that a spell-checker or a good editor would
have caught. It would go a long way in tidying up this nice, very well
told story.

4.6 kisses

***

Cream:

I have mixed feelings about this story. Like you, Peaches, I was
rooting for the couple, and so the last section had a built in charge.
Probably it takes more than just following the formula to get that
reaction. A big plus for making the formula work. 

The most interesting section for me was the one in the middle at the
party when the characters are 19. It's the section with the most sex
in it, but it was interesting not just because of the sex, but because
there's some essential but elusive something going on--that special
edge of what good fiction is all about.

Though I enjoyed the early sections, I think maybe they went on a
little too long. Why so much emphasis on the characters when they are
nine? Why so comparatively little detail at the end? In truth it
didn't bother me when I first read the story, but thinking back on it,
I feel a little cheated not to get more of their adult connection.
Which brings me to the witch stuff.  The story starts out:

>Alicia McDonald was a witch. Of that at least I was for certain. I've known 
>for almost twenty years. It had to be witchcraft. There simply 
>wasn't any other explanation. 

Even when I first read the story, I didn't feel there was anything
really witchlike about Alicia and what was going on. The comparison
felt artificial, intrusive, created simply for story-telling purposes
and yet not really serving any good story-telling purpose.  Though
maintained to the story's end, the witch metaphor, if that's what it
is, needs to be handled better. Or dropped.

3.75 kisses

***

Peaches:

Ah! But there is, if you think of witchcraft as magic. Only magic
could make a nine-year-old boy like a girl. He's not supposed to like
her, after all "Girls are stupid." And only magic could keep bringing
a couple back together. Wistful magic...and OK, family ties. But I
like magic!

***

Peaches: 4.6 kisses
Cream: 3.75 kisses
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Windy City Surprise by SEWG
(FF,rom)
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2002/36993

***

Cream:

>Robin Quinn was smart, resourceful, thirty-one-years old and in love with her boss. It 
>was a secret she kept to herself. She wasn't in the same league as Sharon Parker and 
>didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the job she loved. She knew there weren't many 
>bosses who'd take their assistants on a week-long business trip to Chicago and the 
>shopping expedition was an unexpected bonus.

As you might suspect, Robin's secret doesn't stay secret too long.
Sharon treats her assistant to a glorious night on the town, and then
they treat each other to a glorious night in each other's arms.  My
favorite part is the end when they make plans for breakfast.

The main problem with Windy City Surprise is that it's not very
surprising.  Considering the emotions involved, the journey ends up
being rather bland.  This story was written by several authors in
series, and they do a fair enough job making it seamless, and there
are a few vivid trappings, but I feel that the story would have been
more exciting had the authors not reined themselves in (fearful
perhaps of sending the story astray) and instead let their individual
skills and slants tug the characters and the story into a more
dramatic fray. One positive consequence: that tentative
where-is-this-going-to-go feel--it's very likely what "really would"
happen; trouble is it ends up a bit too predictably.  Alas, the
characters don't have enough rough inner edges to make them
interesting.  I think we missed a good chance to get six fresh visions
of the budding relationship. Instead we have a more or less mainstream
style Romance without very much drama or conflict.

Two kisses

***

Peaches:

The authors did a fine job of hiding the transition from one writer to
the next, which probably isn't an easy task. But I have to ask
myself--was it seamless because there was really very little action?
Nobody threw some fire into the mix. My favorite part may just be the
dancing in the club. But it was too short! Time line wise, Robin and
Sharon walk into the club, Sharon steps away, Robin is involved in one
dance--sandwiched cream style, and then they leave. Such a missed
opportunity. And there were several others--in the dressing room, in
the limo, at the restaurant. I wanted, and half expected a forest fire
with six writers, but really ended up with just a little bonfire. Too
bad!

2.5 kisses

***

Cream:

Oh, I liked that dancing, too.  And like you, I thought it ended too
soon.  That was true of most of the plot elements in the story: good
ideas not really developed, not meaningful except as "ordinary" events
in an extraordinary romantic evening.  I wish all the authors had
written just about the dance.  Maybe doing these serial things in
series is a mistake. Do them in parallel.  Then see what you've got
and merge some of it and overlay some of it and maybe we'd get that
blaze!

***

Peaches: 2.5 kisses
Cream: 2 kisses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adventures of Diana and Mike by Mistress Diana
(MF, Fdom)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36921

***

Peaches:

Diana is a practicing domme with female submissives. She shares her
lifestyle with her lover, Mike. The story opens with Diana waiting at
a bistro where Mike has asked her to meet him. She begins to worry
that he's called her there to confront her about an affair she had
while away on a trip that had nothing to do with their shared
lifestyle. Guilt, isn't it grand?

The title suggests that there are more adventures, but unfortunately
we don't get to *see* any of these. We only are told of them. 

>Yes, Mike was a willing participant in my adventure of dominance. Together we 
>seduced and fucked many female subs. I never got jealous when he fucked one of the 
>lovely women that submitted to our will. 

Maybe there are prequels to this story about these other adventures. 

Way too much time is spent talking about this affair Diana has had
with Six. It really has nothing whatsoever to do with the story. Most
of the relationships described in the story stretch the realm of
believability. 

>"Diana, you were right - I did fuck Dawn and her friend when you were away.
> I'm sorry...they were just so..."

>His voice trailed off and he looked down. I had never, ever seen him like this.

>"Sweetie, it's ok, really..." I said, my voice breaking.

>My love for him welled up inside me and I felt tears coming to my eyes. 
>This really had preyed on his mind for a long time, I thought. And it only confirmed 
>his dedication to our relationship.

Maybe when you're guilty of the same thing, forgiveness comes a lot
easier. Unfortunately, the only reason Mike is confessing is because
he got caught, not because of any dedication to the relationship. But
in fairness, he has planned a great gesture to prove he is dedicated
to Diana, but you have to read and find out what that is on your own.

But mostly, this story just does a lot of telling to get to one scene:
the anal and strap on scene that aren't forewarned by any coding.

2 kisses

***

Cream:

This story didn't do anything for me.  I couldn't get interested in
the characters and that made it difficult for me to get interested in
their situation or in the action.   I don't have any great aversion to
reading about strap-on sex or the dom/sub scene, but neither do I
understand the attractions, so maybe that explains my reaction.  Maybe
I'd have been more interested in some of those other off-stage
adventures--Mike fixing the neighbor's a/c, for example--but I don't
think so.  

1 kiss.

***

Peaches:

I'm with you, Cream. Maybe the adventures that aren't in the story
would better live up to the title of "Adventure." Looking at the
thesaurus under adventure, "exciting activity" comes up. This story
has a little ways to go before it can stake that claim. 

***

Peaches: 2 kisses
Cream: 1 kiss

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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