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Message-ID: <38015asstr$1030399803@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Peaches and Cream  <peachescreamreviews@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews: #25
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 18:10:03 -0400
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Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like
reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance
Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing
the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us
starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes
it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5
kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per
issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find
all the stories we will review. 

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest

***

Peaches and Cream Reviews: #25

If you have it [love],
you don't need to have anything else.
If you don't have it,
it doesn't matter much what else you do have.
- Sir James M. Barrie -

Stories to be reviewed:

The Outcrop by JohnDear
Delayed Gratification by Wiseguy
The Stray by ? the Platypus
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Outcrop by John
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36982

***

Peaches:

A woman tends her garden while memories of past conversations weave
their way through her consciousness. She wants a baby but can't
conceive.

If you want a story with symbolism, here it is--gardens, wounded deer,
laughing ravens, infant beans, planting seeds. It's the perfect type
of story for a book club where you can sit and discuss it with your
peers. Each of you able to find perfectly placed adjectives and
magical symbols. 

It's a beautiful story. And it's one you'll need to read again because
you missed something on the first read through.

4.5 kisses

***

Cream:

Some things are less evident than they ought to be considering how
precise and controlled the language of this piece feels. I've read it
three or four times now, and I think I'm still missing something. The
spot of blood, for example--it appears below them as if by magic.   I
enjoy the details and the tone and language, but I know I'd be happier
if the story gave itself up a little more easily.

One thing for sure, this story shows how good simples sentences are
for sex:

>He played against her body.  With his fingertip he split her vulva, found it 
>ripe like fruit before its fall.  He sucked his finger.  She pressed against 
>him hungrily. 

So, Peaches, do you think she's the deer, and if so, what does that
mean? 

4.5 kisses

***

Peaches:

The spot of blood I believe is from the wounded deer that startles the
woman at the very beginning. I definitely think the woman and the
wounded deer parallel one another. I can't say for sure if the woman
is intended to *be* the wounded deer though. I'd rather thought that
the deer led the Indian to the woman, by design more than accident.
But there is this bit of symbolism:

>He pointed down.  A spot of blood. 

>"She's slowing now." 

>"What if she has a fawn?" 

The woman wants a baby desperately, she hasn't been able to conceive,
and she's beginning to age--starting to slow. What happens if she has
a baby now?

The story is as layered as the onions in her garden.

***

Peaches: 4.5 kisses
Cream: 4.5 kisses
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delayed Gratification by Wiseguy
(MF rom nosex)
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Wiseguy/www/delayed.htm

Cream:

Amanda, a hypnotherapist, has a dinner meeting with an ex-client, Ben,
whom she helped get through a stressful divorce.  You have to wonder a
little bit about Amanda; she may be wonderful at getting patients to
see into themselves, but she sure has difficulty seeing them.  Perhaps
blinded by love?  This is a lovely story.  Students of good writing
could probably study this story to learn a lot about pace and patience
and timing.  The one thing that didn't work as well as I might have
hoped was Amanda's chest--"with its thick sides and heavy chains and
sturdy padlocks."  "There she kept those dangerous feelings locked
away, except for those rare occasions, mostly late at night, when she
took them out to look at them, to learn from them, to let herself feel
them for an hour or two before locking them carefully away again."
This somewhat overt symbol turns out to be a little clunky for my
taste, a little too much in the foreground.  I think the story shows
its great strength by overcoming that obstacle. This story may not be
completely flawless, but I really like it a lot. It made me sigh.

4.75 kisses

***

Peaches:

We're toe to toe on this one, Cream. I liked the *chest* analogy at
first, but it made too many appearances. We revisited it seven times.
By story's end when the analogy should be wrapping things up, it just
got in the way.

But I say, ditto on the story's strength to overcome the clunkiness.
It flows. It's natural. It's perfect in detail and the dialogue is
smart.

I think this is the second story with a no sex code, and they're two
of the most romantic.

This is romance, not the fairy tale kind, but the true-to-life kind.
The best kind.

4.8 kisses

***

Cream:

Does sex spoil romance?  For that matter, does sex spoil the sex
story?  The people in this story want more than sex out of each other.
They want to be lovers in the fullest sense.  Ending this story on the
verge of their first kiss is the perfect stroke, but it's not likely
going to get too many readers off. So does the author owe us a coda?
No way.

***

Peaches: 4.8 kisses
Cream: 4.75
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Stray by ? the Platypus
(Fhuman/Fbunny rom caution?)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36986

***

Peaches:

Falinor is a wounded bunny. Lill finds her and nurses her back to
health, physically and emotionally until Falinor can finally ask for
what she wants. And she wants Lill.

There's a little bit of the Velveteen Rabbit in this story--even a
very abused bunny when shown love can give love in return.

There's deeper meaning than meets the eye, and the answer may be given
at the end by the author's explanation of his intent.

3 kisses

***

Cream:

Lots of writing mistakes here, but what bothered me most were the
references to the little bunny as fem and morph.  Maybe that shows
that I don't know the terminology of this genre.  Is "fem" and "morph"
supposed to give us extra information?  If so, from my point of view,
it's a mistake. If not, then it's also a mistake.  As far as I'm
concerned, the character of the bunny is clear enough without the
author intruding.

The biggest shock is the first orgasm. The girl has just told Fal, the
bunny, that she will be safe.

>A smile formed on Fal's face, her eyes opened a little and her 
>ears perked up.  Joy and relief flooded through her body like an orgasm 
>but the feeling was a thousand times better. 
>She dipped the spoon into the soup without a tremor.

What does this say about a bunny's orgasms? But that's an after
thought. That the helpless bunny has orgasms at all changed the
complexion of the story, and probably not for the worse.  We see the
bunny as not entirely innocent; we see these orgasms as imposed.  It's
a strange moment.

The voices of the characters are done very well. No problem seeing the
girl as simple goodness, the bunny as helpless victim.  I like the way
they interact. The spare detail is good enough to keep the characters
from being completely disembodied.

In the end we do have disembodied bliss--very odd in a way for a sex
story.  I wonder how many readers would try to picture the
intercourse.  For me, the ending clinches this story as something
else: a victim's fantasy of rescue, and as such it is very sad and
very touching.

4 kisses

***

Peaches:

I can't say I understand the morph as used in this story. Maybe if I
did, it would ruin the story for me. As it is, it's exactly as you
say, Cream: the girl is simple goodness, and the bunny is helpless
victim. And as that, the characters are chosen well and written very
nicely. 

This story tells me something--a story can be filled with writing
mistakes, but if a nice meaning is still there, the mistakes are more
easily forgiven.

***

Peaches: 3 kisses
Cream: 4 kisses

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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