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Message-ID: <37978asstr$1029967803@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Peaches and Cream  <peachescreamreviews@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews: #20
Date: Wed, 21 Aug 2002 18:10:03 -0400
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Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like
reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance
Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing
the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us
starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes
it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5
kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per
issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find
all the stories we will review. 

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest

***

Peaches & Cream Reviews: #20

No sooner met but they looked;
No sooner looked but they loved;
No sooner loved but they sighed;
No sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason;
No sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy.
- William Shakespeare -

Stories to be reviewed:

Amerikka: A Fully Automatic Love Story by PleaseCain
My Dear John Letter by Jeff Zephyr
Moon Ghosts and Memory Boxes by Desdmona
Noriko's Demon Installments 5 and 6 by Shalon Wood
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amerikka: A Fully Automatic Love Story by PleaseCain
(MF Rom)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36922

***

Cream:

>A trio of gunships thunders above the compound in tight formation, 
>their blazing searchlamps sweeping the land below.  
>They hug the length of the arroyo and bank out of sight.  

>Freeman Butler glares from his post, squeezing the cold barrel 
>of his freedom-enforcer, knuckles white with rage as the 
>infernal roar dissipates in thin desert night.

Here's a tip for you: Freeman is not the guy's first name. It's more
like Mister or Comrade or Citizen. (I'm so clueless sometimes!)

In this very brief Star Warish romantic melodrama, Butler is defending
his position with O'Hara, his superior-an attractive woman. An
incoming blast sends them sprawling, Butler covering O'Hara. They
fuck.

The pleasure of this outlandish spoof is immense; every detail is
dead-on; and the ending is hilarious--it feels like Dr. Strangelove
squeezed into a five-frame comic strip.

4.9 kisses

***

Peaches:

It reminds me more of Arnold Schwarzenegger's, The Terminator--Freedom
fighters fighting for right against stronger, more powerful foes. But
our hero and heroine have *right* on their side. So with only the
passion that being close to death can bring, they make love. But as in
all good vs. evil stories--it's not just a good fuck--it's also for
Freedom. 

This story defines parody! And you're right, Cream--the only thing
that could make this story better would be illustrations. O'Hara busty
and blond, and Butler, rugged with bulging muscles. Fire up the
paintbrush!

4.8 kisses

***

Cream:

Right, I can see those illustrations, which is why we don't really
need them. Making expert use of the cliche, Amerikka action takes us
to the core of sci-fi comics and Saturday morning Superhero shorts and
old-fashioned space thrillers and then shoots us through to the other
side. The line that really did it for me was this, smack in the
middle: "He has seen O'Hara smile only once before, nailing a rabbit
at seventy-five yards."  As Romance, "Amerikka" may not touch your
heart, as Porn it may not get you off, as Thriller it may not make you
pee your pants, but if this story doesn't bring you smile after
satisfied smile it must be cuz you're dead.

***

Peaches: 4.8 kisses
Cream: 4.9 kisses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Dear John Letter by Jeff Zephyr
(mf rom cons anal oral, ff, fg. 2nd person)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37080

***

Peaches:

A young girl with a reputation writes a single letter to be read by
her old boyfriend, her new boyfriend, and her best girlfriend. It's
more like a stream of consciousness story. It's a bit hard to follow
at times because the girl talks about several other people as well as
the three the letter is written to. But I think this confusion adds to
the story. The girl wants to be loved. Her letter writing is as
confused as her thinking on how to get/be loved. 

There is hard-core sex involved for those who prefer more sex than
story, and there is plot involved for those who prefer more story than
sex. 

I think if there was an attempt made to clean up a little of the
confusion, or maybe just have the letter written as a journal entry,
instead of a letter to three people, this would be very good.

3.5 kisses

***

Cream: 

Wild and real; the voice of the girl is perfect.  So is the jumble: I
can picture her getting confused about who the letter is really for or
what she's really trying to do with it.  Finally, though, the jumble
never quite untangles--I was hoping I'd see the narrator recognize
something about herself or about the world or about anything, or if
not that, that at least I would come to some important realization.
But the letter just winds on without much development and without
anyone, reader or writer, recognizing much of anything. Maybe that is
the story's message.  Or maybe I just missed it. Anyway, it was fairly
entertaining, partly because confused though she was, the narrator was
believable. Writing the letter to the three other principles was a
good story-telling stroke--it gives the letter-writer an excuse to
mention things at least one of these people would already know.
Finally, though, the story is a little long and not quite satisfying.
Peaches, a letter like this, until it's actually mailed, is very much
like a journal entry.  

Originality 5 kisses
Characterization 5 kisses
Sex 4 kisses
Story 2 kisses 
Overall: 4 kisses

***

Peaches:

I think by making it a journal entry, it would alleviate some of the
confusion. The letter starts out being written to John, with the
intent of letting Brian and Margy read it. But several paragraphs into
the story, she (the letter-writer) speaks directly to Brian. This
works because she's young. In fact, it helps to make her appear her
age. But it made me stop and have to reread. Twice. If you know you're
reading a young girl's journal, then it's easier to understand who is
being directly spoken to.

I think there is some attempt to show the girl's learned a little
about being loved, but as I said, it's a misguided lesson. I agree
that the ending lacks the same interesting flair as the bulk of the
story.

***

Peaches: 3.5 kisses
Cream: 4 kisses
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moon Ghosts and Memory Boxes by Desdmona
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36963

***

Cream:

This is a very ambitious story, and in many ways it is successful. No
question it is romantic. Kate meets Edward, and right away we know
(even if they don't) that it's true love for both of them.  Edward is
a cellist, Kate an ex-gypsy with a history--her mother, Esme, who used
young Kate to procure marks and lovers and taught Kate the tricks of
the trade.  Kate struggles to overcome her mother's teachings:  Kate
buys a house and tries to make it into a home. Edward moves in, and it
seems everything is going to be perfect, but a cellist makes music all
over the world, and Edward needs to travel. Now he's gone, and Kate
struggles to make sense of herself and her life.  That's the outline
of the conflict.  

Perhaps too much of the story is too close to outline. I'd love to
have a longer, slower development.  It's not that the story skimps on
detail or over summarizes or feels rushed; quite the contrary: each
scene comes to life with rich images and excellent details. Not
rushed, yet the story seems abbreviated, at times fragmented.  Three
major stresses brush up against the same central core: Kate versus her
mother; Kate's need for a home; Kate's love for Edward; and it is only
the last of these that gets nearly full enough attention.  The dozen
sections in the story as it stands now could each easily become a full
chapter.  Another two dozen chapters lie just under the surface.  This
could easily expand into a novel and cover no more ground than is
covered now. This is a good story, but it could be a great novel.  I'd
like to see a lot more of these characters and their story.

4.4 kisses.

***

Peaches:

The beginning of this story had me believing Kate was going to be a
bit whiny. But it unfolds nicely and by story's end, I like the
characters very much. Kate's memories of Edward range from playful fun
to sizzling and sexy. But Kate's memories of her mother are what
really give this story its charm. I wanted more of them.  So, I agree
with you, Cream. We need more.

As it is though, it fits the bill for romance in my book.

4.5 kisses

***

Cream:

I like the characters, too, though I'm not certain about Edward
choosing art over romance. Or maybe he's choosing economics over
romance. Or maybe he has other motives. 

Obviously Kate could have used her gypsy wiles to steal his heart as
easily as his wallet, but what is the value of romance gained that
way?

***

Peaches: 4.5 kisses
Cream: 4.4 kisses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Noriko's Demon Installment 5: Family Relations by Shalon Wood
(rom, inc, ws, zoo(demon))
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36964

***

Peaches:  

This is part of a much larger work. Reading the first four
installments may help the reader answer a few niggling questions but
for the most part, this story stands alone. It starts with the budding
incestual relationship between two sisters. The older sister (age
unknown) catches the younger sister (age 13) masturbating while
reading a tentacled monster dirty comic. This opens up a world of sex
to both girls. The younger sister is curious, and the older sister has
a secret desire for the younger girl. 

The author tries to let this relationship unfold in a loving way.
Unfortunately, there are flaws. First, the dialogue brings to mind old
"Speed Racer" cartoons. Secondly, the 13 yr old girl talks, acts, and
fantasizes more like someone twice her age. She's never experienced
her first kiss and yet her fantasies revolve around watersports, anal
sex, and tentacles.

The older sister wants to assure the younger sister's first time is
special. 

>"My first time wasn't very good. I didn't really get a choice. I want to make sure you 
>enjoy your first time, sis. If you'll trust me, I'll make sure you have a good first time--I 
>think they [the owners of the demon] are inventive enough that they'll know what to do. 
>But would you freak out if they actually had a demon with tentacles?"

>No, not if it was nice," Kita laughed.

Apparently, in the new pop phenomenon of tentacles, demons can be
nice.

There is some fairly hot sex late in the story between the sisters,
but then we add the demon and two other females, and orifices start
filling up fast. It's not hard to follow what is going where, thanks
to the author's writing skill, but it is hard to believe. My guess is
the target audience--those who like incest and those who like
tentacles--will be more than pleased with this story.

I'd rather watch Speed Racer reruns!

2.75 kisses
**********************************
Noriko's Demon Installment 6: Bathroom Games by Shalon Wood
(rom, inc)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36965

***

Peaches:

This installment is just further scenes tacked on for no apparent
reason. There is no flow for story purposes. It's just two quick
bathroom scenes involving the characters from installment # 5.
************************************
Cream:

Generally we are in agreement: Little sister wasn't convincing as a 13
year old. Lots of hot sex. Generally well written, but even
"accepting" the demon, I never thought this story was real. It reads
as a  porn fantasy.  Some of the scenes went on too long--I definitely
got tired of them before they finished; but I also thought the overall
"tease" and buildup was nicely handled: we have strong hints of what
to expect, but the final rewards remains just out of reach until just
the right moment--the climax.  Pornographic stories often have puppets
for characters, and I'm sure many readers find puppets satisfying
enough. These girls are not just puppets, but they are not enough
more, not enough for Romance.  As porn this chapter succeeds quite
well and stands alone.  As romance, I think we'd need to see the whole
book.  Romance through the eyes of this demon might have interested me
more.

4 kisses.

***

Peaches:

If you take out the demon and take out the ages and just make this
story about the budding relationship then it suddenly becomes more
fulfilling. If I were reading this just as incest between two sisters,
I still believe the dialogue misses the mark, but there is a
tenderness that can't be denied.  

***

Peaches: 2.75 kisses
Cream: 4 kisses

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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