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Message-ID: <37916asstr$1029697807@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Shalon Wood <dstar@pele.cx>
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Subject: {ASSM} _Noriko's Demon_: "Loving Noriko, Loving Bethany"
Date: Sun, 18 Aug 2002 15:10:07 -0400
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        Noriko's Demon_ is a series revolving around a young girl
(Noriko), the tentacle-demon she's in love with, and their slave. It's
got just about everything in it at some point or another; about all I
can rule out is to say that there _probably_ won't be any snuff, scat,
or pedo.

        Probably. If it does show up, though, it won't be the good
guys doing it. That much I'm sure of. Everything else (and I mean
_everything_ else) is fair game.

        I'd be severely remiss if I didn't thank my proofreaders and
beta readers for their critiques; _Noriko's Demon_ wouldn't be as good
as it is without them. The Invisible Man, especially, deserves thanks.

        And thanks to all the people who've written me, telling me
they liked it -- that's a real ego boost!

        Finally, I grant permission for redistribution in electronic
format only, at no charge. If you are charging people to be able to
read _Noriko's Demon_, you'll have to make separate arrangements. If
you're putting it out there for free, go for it -- just keep my name
attached.

You can find all released installments on my website at
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/dstar/www -- and, if you look around, you might find
some unreleased stuff as well...

dstar

Loving Noriko, Loving Bethany

Bethany stared at the key in her hand, indecisive. She looked at the
door to the liquor cabinet, then back to the key, fighting with
herself. Finally, hand shaking, she made her decision.


Noriko stirred groggily, wondering who would be calling this late at
night. She blinked her eyes, focusing on her clock, which read three
in the morning.

Her mother's form appeared in the doorway. "Noriko? It's Bethany. She
says she needs your help."

Noriko bolted upright. "What do you mean?"

"She didn't say. Noriko, she was crying." Her mother moved aside as
Noriko rushed for the phone, a slight smile curling her lips as she
watched her daughter.

"Bethany? What's wrong?"

"I'm trying, mistress, really I am. But I want it so bad...I don't
know if I can do it." Noriko could hear Bethany sniffling.

"Ok, calm down, pet. What exactly is it you want?"

"A drink. I had...one of those dreams again, and...I'd gotten the key
to the liquor cabinet without even thinking about it. I want it so bad
I can taste it. Gods, Noriko. Would it be that bad? Just one little
drink?"

"Yes, it would, pet. No drinks, not even a little one. Hold on."
Noriko covered the mouthpiece, looking to her mother. "Mom, I _really_
need a ride over to Bethany's. It's important."

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What's wrong?"

Noriko looked torn for a moment. "It's Bethany. She's...got a drinking
problem. I'm helping. She's having trouble right now. I really need to
go over there to help her. Please? I wouldn't ask if it wasn't
important."

Her mother nodded. "I know you wouldn't." She slipped her robe off,
revealing her slim figure as she bent to the clothes she'd been
folding earlier that night. Noriko looked away, blushing, as she found
herself noticing.

"Bethany? Just be strong a little while longer. I'm coming over."

"You don't have to do that. Just hearing your voice helps -- it lets
me focus on something other than the alcohol."

"I want to. Don't argue with me, pet. You know better than that."

"Yes, mistress," Bethany said in a subdued voice.

"I'll be there in just a few minutes. Just hold on. I know you can do
this, Bethany. I believe in you."

"Yes, Mistress. I'll...I'll try."

Noriko hung up the phone, closing her eyes for a moment and resting
her head on the cool surface of the wall. "I'm sorry, Mom. It's just,
well, she's been doing so good. And I promised her I would help if she
needed it."

Her mother walked over and gave her a quick hug. "Noriko, I don't
mind. I'm proud of you for helping."

Noriko searched her mother's face quickly, smiling back. "You mean
it?"

"Yes, I do." Her mother looked her in the eyes. "Maybe I don't say
this as often as I should, but Noriko, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of
the way you've grown up, I'm proud of the fact that you care about
your friends, and I'm proud of the fact that you are willing to _do_
something for people you care about."

The young girl's lips trembled. "Really?"

"Really." Her mother hugged her again. "Now, don't you think you
should put on some more clothes before we go over to Bethany's?"

Noriko looked down at her thin robe and blushed. "Um, yeah. Be right
back."


In the car, Noriko took a deep breath. "Mom? If I tell you something,
will you promise not to get upset, or scared?"

Her mother quirked her lips, thinking about it. "I'll try."

"Ok." Noriko took another deep breath. "There's something you should
know about Bethany. She...wasn't always a nice person. In fact,
well...she was pretty bad."

"How bad?"

"Bad enough that if...Mom, I need you to promise you won't tell
_anyone_ about this. Even if you think you should. It wouldn't do any
good for people to find out about it. And it would hurt a lot. I'm
helping her, showing her how to be a nice person, but I couldn't do
that if she were...in jail, or a mental hospital."

"Jail?" Her mother risked taking her eyes off the road long enough to
glance at her daughter, seeing the serious expression on her
face. "Are you sure she's the kind of person you should be spending
time with?"

"Yes, I am, Mother. That was...she's not like that anymore. This is
one of those things I can't talk about much, but she really has
changed. One reason I'm worried about her slipping and drinking
is...she's been having nightmares about what she did. I'm afraid she
might try to kill herself if she gets drunk."

"Hmm. Ok, if she's having nightmares, maybe she really has
changed. But...it worries me, Noriko. I don't want to see you get
hurt."

"I won't, Mom. She has changed. And she's seeing the counselor at
school. I'm going with her, at least for now. I'm not going to fail
her. She's...got a lot of potential, Mom. She wouldn't be so bad off
right now if she didn't _care_ about people. I've just...I've got to
get her through this, get her to come to terms with what she did. And
I'm not sure how to do it." The light from the street lights shadowed
her face in profile, hiding her expression.

Her mother reached over with one hand, laying it on her daughter's
shoulder and squeezing gently. "You'll figure it out. Was what she did
really so bad?"

Softly, Noriko said, "Yes. I'm not going to tell you what it was. But
it was...I'm not sure I can get any of her victims to forgive her. I'm
going to try, and she's made it very clear she's willing to do
anything it takes to help them. Anything at all."

"I can't say I'm happy to know this, but...I suppose I'd rather know
than not. And I'm glad there's a professional helping her."

Placing her hand over her mother's, Noriko smiled. "Mom, I just want
to say...thanks for believing in me. Thanks for letting me make my own
decisions."

Her mother sighed. "It's not easy, Noriko. You're still my baby girl,
and it's hard...to remember that you are growing up. But I'm trying."

"You're doing good, Mom. You are."

"It helps that you are willing to talk to me about things like this."

Noriko went quiet for a few minutes. "Then I suppose there's something
else we should talk about. We should anyway, since there's a good
chance that you'll find out when we get there. It's...about me and
Bethany."

Her mother looked puzzled. "What is it, dear? I already know that the
two of you are...intimate, if that's what you mean."

Noriko shook her head. "No, that's not it. It's the...exact nature of
our relationship." She took a deep breath. "We're...not equals in
it. I'm...well, she's my...slave. It's a long story, but that's the
way we want it, and she's happy with it that way."

Her mother looked startled. "I see. Well, I suppose I should have
expected this after our little talk a few weeks ago. You told me that
whips and chains, how did you put it, 'interested' you. But it's still
a little...startling."

"I know. But...I think it helps her to have some structure in her
life, beyond the, um, sexual aspects." She sighed. "You have to
understand, Mom, that Miss Sasaki and I are having to, well, teach her
how to be a normal person from the ground up. This helps her."

"Are you doing it just for her?"

As the light from passing cars moved over Noriko's face, her mother
could see that she was blushing. "No. I really like it. It...satisfies
something in me, down inside."

"Well, I told you that anything that was consensual was ok, and I'm
not going to change my mind now." She turned in the drive of a large
estate.

"Thanks, Mom." Noriko hesitated. "Mom, do you want to sleep over here?
I know there's room, and Bethany won't mind. Her dad's out of town on
business again."

Her mother shook her head. "No, I'm going to go back home and sleep in
my bed. You go take care of Bethany."

Noriko leaned over, hugging her mother. "Thanks for everything,
Mom. You're pretty great."


When Noriko walked in the room, Bethany was laying on the floor,
curled up in a ball, sobbing. She could see the bottom of a bottle
peeking out from between Bethany's arms and for a moment feared that
the older girl had given in to the craving; then she saw the
still-sealed cap, and sighed in relief.

"Bethany? Lover? I'm here."

Bethany didn't look at her, but shoved the bottle at her. "Get it
away." Her voice was muffled. "I can't do it, mistress. I can't. It's
too hard. I'm sorry."

Noriko took the bottle, setting it down on the table beside her. "You
can do it." She knelt down on the floor beside Bethany, lifting her up
slightly and placing the the older girl's head on her lap. "You _did_
do it. You didn't have a drink, did you?"

"No, but I wanted to so bad...I almost...if it had taken you any
longer, mistress, I think...I don't think I could have held out any
longer. It was...I can't, mistress. I can't."

Noriko gently stroked Bethany's hair, smoothing it back from her face,
seeing the anguish in the older girl's eyes. "But you didn't. And I
don't think you would have."

Bethany didn't respond, turning her head and burying her face in
Noriko's lap as sobs wracked her body. Noriko held her, tenderly,
until the sobs eased.

"Bethany, do you believe I care about you?"

Bethany nodded, her eyes red from crying, as she looked at her
mistress. "Yes."

"Do you believe I'll be here for you if you need me?"

"I try, but...it's hard. No one ever has. It's hard to really believe
you'll be there." Bethany rubbed the tears from her eyes, sniffing.

"I will. I promise." Noriko kissed Bethany gently on the
forehead. "Bethany, it's been six weeks now, and this is the first
time you've come this close to slipping. I know it's not the first
time you've had these dreams. What made this one so much worse?"

Bethany stiffened in her arms. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does, Bethany. You're never going to get over this if you
run away from it. You have to face it, look it in the eye and not back
down."

Bethany closed her eyes, trembling uncontrollably. "Please, mistress,
please...don't make me tell you. Please."

"Bethany, look at me. Open your eyes and look at me." Noriko waited
for Bethany to comply. "Whatever it is that has you so scared, don't
be. It's not going to make me hate you. It's not going to make me
abandon you. I'm here for you. Trust me."

Bethany drew a deep, ragged breath. "Promise?"

"I promise. I promise, pet. I'm here. Always."

"It was...it's bad enough most times, when it's someone I've tortured
before, what I'm doing. It's worse that I get turned on by it. But
this time...this time..." Her shoulders began shaking again, as fresh
tears began to trickle from the corners of her eyes. "It was you. It
was you." With that she lost control, throwing her arms around Noriko
and crying.

Noriko held her close. "I'm still here, pet. I didn't go anywhere. I'm
right here for you."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...I didn't mean it, I didn't, I promise. I
promise." Bethany buried her face in Noriko's shoulder.

"I know you didn't, pet. I know you didn't." She held the older girl,
rocking her gently. They drifted off to sleep that way.

Together.


Noriko awoke first, her back aching. Sometime during the night they'd
ended up laying on the floor, Noriko curled around around the larger
girl's back. Her left side was numb, and she was shivering. Rolling
onto her back, she sat up, wincing as her arm began to wake up.

Kneeling beside Bethany, a soft smile crept over her features as she
watched the blonde girl sleep. "You look so innocent and peaceful,
lover. I wish you looked like that all the time," she murmured to
herself. "But I can't work miracles. I'm sorry."

She watched Bethany for a few more minutes, enjoying the slight smile
on her face, before leaning over and kissing her softly. "It's time to
wake up, pet. Wake up. We've got to get ready for school."

Bethany made a small murring sound in her throat that made Noriko's
heart skip. "Oh, poor baby. I wish I could let you sleep." She kissed
Bethany's lips again, more firmly. "Wake up, lover."

Bethany blinked. "Mmm?"

"Time to wake up, pet. We fell asleep."

Bethany struggled up to one elbow. "We did? I'm sorry, mistress. I
didn't mean to --" Her apology was stilled by Noriko's finger on her
lips.

"Hush, pet. I don't mind. It's ok."

Bethany looked down. "But --"

"It's _ok_, pet. Really." Noriko stood, holding out a hand to Bethany
to help her up. "Why don't we take a quick shower together?"

Bethany smiled. "I'd love that." 


Noriko raised her hands over her head and arched her back, stretching,
as the hot water ran over her body. The water sheeted over her firm
breasts, larger than they had been six weeks ago, her hard nipples
protruding through the water. Bethany stared, her breath taken away by
the sight in front of her. Unconsciously, she licked her lips, her
mouth slightly open.

Noriko smiled. "Why don't you wash your mistress, slave?" She ran her
hands up her body, cupping her breasts briefly, stretching again. "All
over."

Bethany just nodded, unable to take her eyes off of the smaller
girl. Taking a wash-cloth, she began to wash Noriko, soaping her
up. She washed Noriko thoroughly, carefully avoiding her breasts and
the area between her legs. When she sat the cloth to one side, Noriko
raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you forget something?"

Bethany smiled, shaking her head. "No, but I thought such...sensitive
areas needed something softer than a wash-cloth," she said, soaping up
her hands.

"I see -- oh!" Noriko gasped as Bethany's fingers found their way
between her wet lips, her other hand cupping Noriko's breast as she
pressed her breasts up against the smaller girl's back. Tilting her
head, Bethany nibbled at Noriko's ear.

Noriko tilted her head back, giving Bethany easier access to her neck,
and moaned as Bethany trailed little kisses down her cheekbone, onto
her neck. Bethany slid two slick, soapy fingers inside Noriko, her
thumb sliding across Noriko's clit. She teased Noriko's nipple with
her other hand, as she fucked Noriko with her fingers. Just as Noriko
reached the edge of orgasm, she stopped, sliding her fingers out.

"Don't stop!"

"Time to rinse you off. It's not good for your skin to have soap on it
for too long." Ignoring Noriko's whimpers, Bethany gently rubbed her
body down with a clean wash-cloth. "There. Now we need to make sure you
are rinsed well."

Bending down, Bethany bit Noriko gently on the shoulder, nibbling her
way down Noriko's breast as she turned the smaller girl to face
her. Noriko gasped as Bethany reached her nipple, sucking it into her
mouth and playing her tongue over it.

"Seems to be ok." Bethany began to nibble her way across to the other
breast, biting the nipple gently. "This one too." She ran her hands up
Noriko's legs, cupping her ass gently, as she placed a line of kisses
down the center of Noriko's chest and stomach, leading downward.

Bethany took one hand and urged Noriko to lift one leg, placing it
across her shoulder. Tilting her head, she bit down at the crease of
the leg, sucking firmly, as she teased her fingers along Noriko's
ass. She nibbled and licked, teasing, until she felt Noriko's fingers
tangle in her hair, pulling painfully until her face was shoved into
her mistress's cunt.

The heat and steam from the water made it hard to breath, combining
with the wonderful pain from her mistress's fingers to leave Bethany
breathless, head spinning. She parted her lips, tongue reaching out to
taste her mistress, but could taste nothing but sweet, clean
flesh. Pressing harder, she slipped her tongue between the folds,
searching, seeking the taste of her mistress's arousal. She could feel
the roughness of the skin around the opening to Noriko's cunt, her
tongue dipping inward, being rewarded with the taste she
craved. Noriko's hands tightened, and Bethany shuddered, the pain from
the tight strands of hair sending shocks of electricity shooting
straight to her cunt. 

Little sparkles of light began flashing in front of Bethany's eyes as
she struggled to breath with her face buried between Noriko's legs,
her tongue licking as she slipped one hand down to her own clit, the
thumb of the other hand pressing at Noriko's asshole, sliding in just
slightly, then back out, fucking her ass. She could feel her vision
narrowing as the lack of oxygen began to take its toll, and she fought
to remain conscious as Noriko's legs began to quiver. She could feel
the muscles in her mistress's ass jump under her hand as Noriko began
to come, her hands twisting the tight mass of hair uncontrollably. 

It was as if someone had touched a live electrical wire to Bethany's
clit. Her legs straightened involuntarily as she came, sliding out
from underneath her on the slick surface of the shower, leaving her
supported only by her hair. The pain combined with the sudden rush of
air into her lungs as the jolt pulled her face away from Noriko's cunt
overwhelmed her, and she screamed as she came again, slipping a finger
inside herself.

Noriko bent, lowering her to the floor, smiling at her oddly.

"What?" Bethany asked, dazed.

"I didn't realize you liked having your hair pulled like that," Noriko
said, bemused. "Maybe I should do it more often."

"I don't...it's never felt like that before. It was like it was
connected straight to my clit. Every time you pulled on it, it sent a
jolt right to my clit. It was...wow. Yeah. Think so." Bethany was
in a fog. "Felt...right, though. Liked it." She smiled up at Noriko
happily. "Right because it was you, I thank. Think. Thanks." Bethany
shook her head a little, trying to clear it.

Noriko turned off the water and slid the door open. The sudden rush of
cold air cleared Bethany's head, and she stood, accepting the hand
Noriko offered her.

"I really liked having you wash me, Bethany," Noriko said softly,
kissing her lover gently. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, mistress," Bethany protested.

"I want to thank you, pet. You did something that was..." Noriko
hesitated, seeking the words. "I'm not sure. Intimate, maybe, is what
I'm looking for. It made me feel close to you." She kissed Bethany
again. "I liked that."

Bethany blushed. "Um. Wow. I liked it too," she offered shyly. "I like
having sex with you, and I like being used by you, but I like
just...being close to you, too. Gods. I sound like such an idiot."

Noriko pulled her close. "No, you don't. I know what you mean. Me,
too."

Bethany just stood there, eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of
Noriko's head resting on her chest, her hand gently stroking the
smaller girl's hair. Finally, after a minute or so, she sighed
reluctantly.

"Yeah," Noriko sighed, before Bethany could speak. "I know. We need to
get to school."

"I don't want to."

"Me either."

"Can we skip today?"

Slowly, Noriko shook her head. "Not really."

"Damn."


Bethany stood waiting outside Noriko's classroom. Her hands seemed to
have a life of their own, constantly smoothing her skirt and adjusting
her hair; her lips seemed unusually dry.

Noriko, of course, noticed immediately; Bethany had noticed over the
past few weeks that Noriko missed very little where she was involved. 

It made her feel good.

"What's wrong, pet?" Noriko asked, her voice pitched low enough that
the crowd jostling around them couldn't overhear.

"Noriko, could I...could I please..." Bethany swallowed. _I can't do
this. I can't ask her for more, not after what she did for me last
night...but I can't face it again. Not now. Not after today._

"What, pet? Tell me." Noriko looked up into her eyes, searching.

"Mistress-could-I-please-spend-the-night-with-you?" The words came out in a
rush, before she'd even made the conscious decision to speak.

Noriko frowned slightly. "I don't know, Bethany. Why?"

Bethany closed her eyes, trembling. "I can't take it...not another
night like last night. I -- I can't." She forced her eyes
open. "Please, mistress."

"It's that bad?"

Bethany just nodded. 

Noriko bit her lip. "I'll ask Mom, but I can't promise."

"Thank you." Bethany swallowed. "May I carry your books?"

Noriko handed them to her, and they walked to the car.


Noriko's mother studied Bethany intently. "What would your parents say
to you spending the night?"

"My father is out of town on a business trip, but I don't think he
would object, Mrs. Arishima."

"What about your mother?"

"My mother and father got divorced when I was eight. I'm at home on
my own when my father's away now," Bethany said simply.

"I...see." Akiko looked at her steadily. Bethany felt naked under her
gaze, as if all of her secrets were being laid bare. "If I let you
stay, do you plan to have sex with my daughter?"

Bethany blushed, but kept her voice level and her eyes up; it helped
that the question didn't seem accusatory, but merely curious. "No, I
did not have such plans, Mrs. Arishima, and I would never do something
which you would object to if I was a guest."

Akiko smiled suddenly. "Oh, no. I don't object, Bethany. My
daughter has made the decision to take that step, and she's
demonstrated to my satisfaction that she's mature enough. But I'm
curious. Why do you want to spend the night, if not to have sex?"

"Well, I, um," Bethany shook her head, forcing herself to stop and
think. "Because, Miss Arishima, I'm not interested in Noriko just for
sex." She blushed again as Noriko walked in the room, handing her a
glass.

Akiko leaned forward suddenly, like a snake striking. "Then, Bethany,
why _are_ you interested in my daughter?"

"Mom!" Noriko said, protesting.

Bethany laid her hand on Noriko's. "No, Noriko, it's a fair question."
She glanced over at Noriko, then impulsively leaned over and kissed
her quickly on the cheek. She reddened further as she looked back at
Akiko. "Um, I'm sorry. Why am I interested in your daughter?" She
looked down at the ground for several seconds before looking back up.

"Because, Mrs. Arishima, she saved not only my life but my
soul. Because she completes me, makes me whole. She fills those places
inside of me that I never knew were empty, because they have never
been filled before." Bethany swallowed. "Because I need her, want her,
in a way I never knew was possible. I don't mean just, um, sexually,
but...I want to be with her. I want to make her happy."

Bethany turned her head, looking straight into Noriko's dumb-struck
eyes. "Because I love her."

Bethany watched Noriko struggle for words, for something to say. She
knew that her declaration was completely unexpected by the younger
girl. She laid a finger on Noriko's lips, stilling her. "Shh. I know
you don't love me, Noriko. That's ok. I can't expect you to. I'm not
exactly --" She saw a warning glint in Noriko's eyes, and rethought
her next words. "Easy to love."

She turned back to Akiko. "I don't know how much Noriko has told you
about me, but before I met her, I was...a monster. I really don't want
to talk about the details right now, please, but I meant it when I
said she saved my soul. If it hadn't been for her, I don't think I'd
have one."

Akiko struggled for words. "I...see." She smiled. "That wasn't exactly
what I was expecting, but I don't think I can argue with someone
loving Noriko. Very well, you can spend the night, Bethany. In fact,
you can spend the night any time you need to." She raised a hand in
caution. "I don't mean just wanting to spend some time with Noriko
during the week; she still has to ask, if that's the case. But if you
_need_ not to be alone at night, because you are afraid you will give
in to your craving, you can come over here. No questions asked."

Bethany lowered her head, and when she finally raised it again, her
eyes were shining. "Thank you, Mrs. Arishima. That's..." she fought to
control her voice, and didn't quite succeed. "That's very kind of
you."

"For someone who loves my daughter, how could I do any less?"


Akiko handed Bethany a towel. "Here you go, dear. We should have
plenty of hot water, so don't worry about that. You take a nice, hot
shower and relax."

Bethany smiled. "Thank you, Mrs Arishima." She closed the door to the
bathroom behind her.

Akiko stared at the door thoughtfully for a moment, then turned and
walked down the hall to her daughters room. "Noriko, I want to talk to
you."

Her daughter looked up, startled. "What, Mom?"

Akiko sat down on the bed next to Noriko. "We need to talk about
Bethany." 

Noriko sighed a little, but nodded her head. "I guess so. About why
she's here, or what she said?"

"Both, I think. Lets talk about why she's here first. Can you tell me
what's so horrible that she's afraid to be alone?" She watched
Noriko's eyes closely, looking for any sign of evasion.

Noriko bit her lip. "Promise me, Mom. Swear you won't tell
anyone. She's trying to make things right."

Akiko studied Noriko's face. "It's that important?"

"It is. I meant what I said last night."

Finally Akiko nodded. "Very well. I won't tell anyone."

Noriko closed her eyes. "I told you she wasn't a good person. She
wasn't. She's always been into, well, S&M." She swallowed. "But she used
to...she didn't care if the person was particularly...willing. I think
she liked it better if they...they weren't."

Akiko's voice was very low, very still. "Rape, Noriko?" She
consciously controlled her tone.

Noriko nodded. "Yes. I guess it was. It didn't start out that way, but
that's how it ended, at least for the one I've talked to. And that's
what scares her, Mom. She remembers. She remembers what she did
and...she can't handle it. I wasn't joking when I said I was afraid
she might commit suicide."

Akiko looked down at the pattern of Noriko's bedspread, tracing it
with her eyes, trying to remain calm. "How can you be so sure she's
changed, Noriko? How can you know?" She looked back up suddenly,
catching her daughter's eyes.

"I -- Mom, this is one of those things I can't talk about too
much. Please, please trust me on this. I _do_ know she's
changed. There's no question. I _know_. Please don't ask me how."

"Noriko, if she's --"

"Mom, she _has_ changed. Miss Sasaki has trouble getting her to talk
about it because she gets sick when she does."

Akiko sighed, worried. "I don't know, Noriko. I don't know."

"You said you trusted me, Mom. Have I done anything to change that?"

Akiko shook her head. "I trust _you_, but --"

"Please, Mom. I won't say I know what I'm doing -- I don't. But I'm
being careful. And, like I said, there's more that I can't tell you."
She glanced down at the floor. "I wish I could. Mom, I didn't have to
tell you this; I did because I don't want you to worry. Is that a
reason to stop trusting me?"

"I guess not." When she put it that way, it wasn't like Akiko had much
of a choice. "But I worry."

"I'm careful, Mom." Noriko gave her mother an impulsive hug. "I'm
being careful."

Akiko smiled. "I guess I can understand the nightmares." Her brow
wrinkled at her daughter's reaction to her statement; rather than
agreeing, she suddenly looked pensive. "Noriko?"

Her daughter sighed. "That's the problem, Mom. That's why I'm worried
she'll hurt herself."

"I don't understand, dear."

"They aren't nightmares."

Akiko shook her head. "Noriko, dear, I still don't understand."

Noriko looked up into her mother's face. "They're erotic dreams, Mom,
and they turn her on. And then she wakes up and hates herself."

Akiko remained silent for a long time. "I don't know what to say,
dear. I wish I could help, but...I don't know how. I'm sorry."

Noriko forced a smile. "That's how I feel. I want to help, but I don't
know how. I've got a few ideas, but...it's not fast. But I think being
able to sleep with me when it gets too bad will really help. I just
want to say...you are about the best Mom I could imagine. Thanks."

Akiko smiled, fighting back tears. "Thank you, Noriko. That means...a
lot. I do love you, you know. That's why I worry. Please...if you ever
need me, I'm here, no questions asked."

"I love you too, Mom."

Akiko dropped her voice as she heard Bethany moving around in the
bathroom. "One more thing, Noriko. You need to figure out how you feel
about her, and you need to do it soon, or you are going to hurt her
very badly. I think she does love you." Her breath caught as she saw
the lost look on Noriko's face.

"I know. And I don't know if I love her -- or what to do."


Noriko lay awake in the darkness, feeling Bethany's chest rise and
fall next to her. She couldn't sleep, her thoughts chasing themselves
around and around in circles. Did Bethany really love her? She knew
somehow, without knowing how she knew, that the answer was yes. But
how did she feel about Bethany?

She liked the older girl; her humor made her laugh, and though Bethany
didn't realize it yet, she truly cared for others -- a major change
from "Queen Bitch". She looked forward to seeing Bethany between
classes, and on the weekends -- but was that just friendship and lust,
or was it something more?

She didn't know what she felt. She just knew that once or twice, when
Bethany didn't know she was looking, she'd seen a lost, haunted look
on the older girl's face, and she ached to wipe it away, make it
better somehow. But was that compassion, or was it something more? How
could she tell?

Her mother would know, of that Noriko was certain, but she didn't know
how to ask. She'd told her mother she knew what love was...and she
did. She loved N'gath'tu. But somehow it didn't help her here. What
she felt for Bethany was...different, somehow. 

Finally she slipped out of bed, making her way to the kitchen. Pouring
herself a glass of milk, she sat at the table and thought.

She remembered what being with Bethany made her feel like, how she
couldn't wait to tell Bethany the things that had happened that day at
school. For half an hour she sat there, thinking, before she realized
something.

She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Bethany.

She'd said as much, hadn't she? She'd said that she would always be
there for her.

Rinsing her glass out and setting it in the sink, she walked back to
her room. She crawled in bed, and lay there, looking at Bethany
sleeping. 

Finally she put her arm around the older girl, kissing her gently on
the forehead before waking her. 

"Mmmph?"

"Sshh. There's just something I need to tell you, love."

"Wha?" Bethany mumbled sleepily.

"I love you."

"'S nice..." Bethany said, before her eyes shot wide open. "Did you
just say..."

Noriko nodded. "I love you. It took me a while to figure it out,
because it's not the same as what I have with N'gath'tu, but I do."

Tears ran down Bethany's cheeks. "Oh, god, I never thought you'd love
me back."

"I do." To her surprise, Noriko found herself crying. "I do."

Bethany wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, holding her, and
they drifted off to sleep.

Together.

-- 

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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