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From: Peaches and Cream  <peachescreamreviews@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews: #14
Date: Wed, 14 Aug 2002 22:10:03 -0400
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Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like
reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance
Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing
the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us
starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes
it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5
kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per
issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find
all the stories we will review. 

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest

***

Peaches & Cream: #14

A gentleman doesn't pounce . . . he glides. If a woman sits on a piece
of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to
regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.
--Quentin Crisp (b. 1908), British author.


Stories to be reviewed:

Solstice Surprise by Sigerson H
She Smiled by Rev. Cotton Mather
Adagio by CaitN
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Solstice Surprise by Sigerson H
(FM rom)
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/sigerson/SolsticeSurprise.txt

***

Peaches:

A couple goes camping. She'd rather be anyplace else. They settle in
for the night and the mood improves. The next morning, they're
standing in front of the tent, waiting. He's planned a big surprise.

The surprise is what I found most romantic about this story. The guy
went to great lengths to accomplish something special. Unfortunately,
the story has already turned me off on the girl. She's a whiner. And I
can't help but feel she just doesn't deserve the guy's efforts. Maybe
she's a different person in a different setting, but here she's even
testy about the sunrise! 

He gets 4 kisses from me. She gets 2 (at least she's touched enough to
cry) Total: 3 kisses

***

Cream:

The girl's character certainly makes this story more interesting even
if it makes her less likable.  The guy's dedication is quite
something.  After all that work, it would hardly do for him to change
his mind.  I kept expecting some kind of twist or irony, but maybe
that would have undercut the romance. Or maybe not.

One thing that kept me from enjoying the story more was the succession
of similar sentence types.  The prose is workmanlike almost to a
fault, and it conveys some of the character of the narrator; even so I
wouldn't have minded a little variety, an inkling of the poetic,
something to show his inner spark instead of steady, steady, steady,
all the time.  Here is an example:

>Light from the waxing moon cast leafy shadows on the tent cloth. I
>couldn't see Ruth's face but her moans of pleasure made my cock throb
>even harder inside of her. Soft sobs told me she was having her orgasm.
>I thrust my hips up quickly and joined her in mutual fulfillment. She
>collapsed on my chest.

>We lay like that for several minutes. We were both drenched with sweat.
>She finally rolled off me and grabbed a towel from her pack.

Three kisses.

***

Peaches:

I suppose the girl's attitude does add a little spark to the story,
but I'd rather see her have something to really moan about. Maybe a
snake could bite her. (Doesn't have to be poisonous!) Or a bear
rummages through their tent and destroys their clothes. OK, I guess
not. But still, I'd rather see her get all that attention and deserve
it just a little.

***

Peaches: 3 kisses
Cream: 3 kisses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
She Smiled by Rev. Cotton Mather
(MF rom)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36973

***

Cream:

This very short story covers just a few seconds following sex, but we
learn a lot about the characters.  The story gives us enough to fit
some personality to the two people as well as to picture the scene.

Here is the first part of the after sex exchange:

>"How was it this time?"

> "The best," I replied.

> "Not fair," she complained.  "You always say that."

It sort of sounds like a ritual, doesn't it? I picture an older man, a
younger woman, but not so young that she'd say "No fair," instead of
"Not fair." Young mainly for her mild insecurity; she could be most
any age.  Obviously they have done this before, but probably not that
many times. They're still getting to know each other. Clearly she
hopes she has pleased him.  That's her thrust. How it was for her is
of less importance to either of them. Still, I think she was pleased,
and now he's got the chance to please her more.  There is a lot of
juice and mood and atmosphere and even romance squeezed into these few
sentences. Some selfishness, too.  This is an excellent snapshot. Hard
not to read it and smile.

Four kisses.

***

Peaches:

I agree totally with you about this story Cream. Ninety words and they
pack a romantic wallop. I think my only complaint, and it's not really
a complaint, more a nitpick is two sentences:

>I could feel the vibration of her voice running through me...

>I could feel her reaction against my skin...

In such a short story, when words really count, I might have liked to
see a little more variation.

4 kisses

***

Cream:

Yes, I agree: it is usually better to show the feeling than to
proclaim them. Difficult sometimes.  That's why we have poets. There's
already just the right amount of proclaiming in this story. We do sort
of sense what the narrator feels, but if he had found the perfect
words to give us those feelings, I think we'd feel like giving the
story five kisses.

***

Peaches: 4 kisses
Cream: 4 kisses
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adagio by Cait N.
(Star Trek, rom, no sex)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36904

***

Peaches:

I think to get the full pleasure of this story, you need to know the
characters. They happen to be characters from the television show,
Voyager. I'm not an avid fan, but I do have a rudimentary
understanding. Basically, she's the commanding officer. He's her
second. There's an underlying sexual tension that is teased at, but
isn't fulfilled.  This story takes those characters and sets them down
in a possible first meeting when they were still cadets at the
academy. The story follows the path of the relationship on the TV
show: hints at more, but never getting there 

The beginning of the story was a little confusing:

>BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
>The discordant noise continued.
>He tried banging on the door again.
>BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
>Mercifully the racket from within stopped.

>The door was jerked open by a petite cadet. She stood in
>the doorway, auburn hair disheveled, cheeks flushed,
>tapping her foot impatiently. "What?" Her voice was
>breathy, as if she'd just ran a marathon.

>"What are you doing in there? Torturing an animal?"
>"I'm playing the flute."

It took me three reads to realize the BOOM's were his banging on the
door and not her flute playing. 

The conversation seemed a little stilted, but I'm fairly certain this
is the way these characters might talk, so it's probably okay.
However, maybe short, choppy sentences in the dialogue would have
achieved this better.

For those Star Trek fans out there, this story will be right up your
alley. 

3 Final Frontier kisses

***

Cream:

Well, Peaches, this one is a complete miss for me.  I know nothing
about the TV show and next to nothing about Star Trek.  (Spock has
pointy ears, and the famous line is "Beam me up, Scottie," right?
There, that's it.)  For me the best part of this story is the loud
booming noises and the flute practice, but that's probably only
because it brings strongly to my mind one of my very favorite films, a
romance film: Steve Martin's LA Story.  I recommend LA Story to
everyone.

I was also confused by the booming.  I though it was the flute
practice. I was thinking maybe flutes sounded different then. Are you
sure it's the door?  Too bad. Besides that, often I didn't know who
had which line.  

Fix a couple of grammar errors, clean up some of the all-purpose
confusion, and this is possibly an excellent story for those in the
know.  I know I'm not, and so the best I can do is one-half kiss--that
for the LA Story memories.

***

Peaches:

It's difficult to have a feel for a story that requires extra
knowledge that the story itself doesn't bring. Add a little confusion
to that and it can leave a reader floundering. But the upswing is
there are Star Trek fans everywhere that will love this story.

***

Peaches: 3 Final Frontier kisses
Cream: 1.5 kisses

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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