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Message-ID: <37828asstr$1029121804@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Peaches and Cream  <peachescreamreviews@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews # 11
Date: Sun, 11 Aug 2002 23:10:04 -0400
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Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like
reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance
Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing
the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us
starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes
it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5
kisses. We'll be posting a review a day until we finish the stories
that were submitted, beginning with the Flash stories.

There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find all the
stories we will review. 

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest

Peaches & Cream Reviews #11

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
--Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), Anglo-Irish playwright, author

***

Miller's Pond by Katie McN
(mf Rom)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36961

***

Cream:

A 14 year old girl's ambivalence about boys and bodies and sex comes
across well in this little tale about Billy Parker and Mary Lynn down
by the swimming hole one hot summer day. A kind of nice soft tension
develops. What I especially like is that all through the story the
narrator doesn't fully recognize this ambivalence, hers or Billy
Parker's, and yet it shines through.

I do have one quibble.  It took me too long to figure out who had the
opening line. Four kisses.

***

Peaches:

I like the voice of this story. She's a 14-year-old girl and she comes
across as such. I didn't have the same difficulty as you figuring out
the opening line, but I did feel this passage needed a better
transition.

>I wanted to see what he looked like, but it wasn't right for a girl of 
>14 to say so. Instead, I gave him a look of disgust and pulled my tee-
>shirt over my head. I was wearing my cutest bra and hoped he didn't 
>think I had it on just for him, even though I did.
>"Dang, girl, how can the water be so cold?"
>"I don't know, Billy. Maybe we better get out." 
>"Guess so."

It went from showing the bra to they're ready to get out of the water.
I realize it's Flash and we're supposed to assume a lot, but I would
have liked a couple of sentences devoted to being in the water. Maybe
even one sentence about getting into the water would help.

A nice play on the old adage of what cold water can do.

I give it 3.5 kisses

***

Cream:

I agree: the story lurches at little here and there. We don't go step
by step through everything. And how could the water be so cold?
Especially if the temperature's over 100, wouldn't that be just fine?
One other thing: the title puzzles me. Is Miller's Pond special enough
to deserve top billing? I expected a little more about the pond
itself. I think the Flash restrictions shaped the story, but the way
it's done is the way memory is: jolts of this and that; so in a way
it's fitting that we don't get "into" the pond; we get the crux of
that encounter. Like Niagara Falls, Miller's Pond brings back
selective but important memories.

***

Peaches: 3.5 kisses
Cream: 4 kisses

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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