index


Message-ID: <37779asstr$1028848204@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: DiscipleN <thedisciplen@yahoo.com>
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Win98; en-US; rv:1.0.0) Gecko/20020530
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} 'Mom's Fuzzy Breasts' by the Split-DiscipleN
Date: Thu,  8 Aug 2002 19:10:04 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

WARNING: prentending to write as the sour Uncle Mudge is way more fun 
than sweet Aunt Courage. So please apply filters against his 
brow-beating style.



I've had some troubling dreams lately. All my relatives are living 
inside my liver, and I have to pee really bad,  but they just drink up 
all the pee, and they swell up and fill my bladder, but I can't relieve 
myself of them. Instead, I tell them about incest and the kinds of porn 
that few people write these days, and my relatives take pity and crawl 
out of me, except for two who are having an argument.


Aunt Courage and Uncle Mudge in 'Strap One Two'

Now, my fincky husband, here's a story to sooth your pineal gland. It's 
called,

'Mom's Fuzzy Heart' by cmsix


Mebbe and maybe not. I don't doubt the Lord and Master meant well, but 
the pickings out there for motherfucking tales must be pretty grim. Talk 
about slow! Where's the SLOW in the story codes? This is a looong, short 
story, but there's barely a hint of sex until the last quarter of the story.

You're just impatient dear. The author spent a good deal of effort 
building the character's passions for each other. It was adeptly 
handled, and their dialog was snappy and lighthearted.

The author spent a good deal of my life describing things that didn't 
matter. The first three paragraphs were about the least important thing, 
the father. Even the more interesting Grandpa doesn't really have a 
purpose to the story. Both of them, and their legacies could have been 
mentioned in one paragraph, bada-boom, on to the fucking!

I thought the settings and events throughout the story were well chosen. 
We are invited into the future lover's world and watch how it shapes 
them. It's an important aspect that readers should never 'notice'.

Fine, I might not have 'NOTICED' if the writer had actually read what he 
posted. The number of spell-checker correct typos within are mind 
boggling. The mother,{has C cup breast,} SINGULAR! Poor woman must have 
been a cancer victim - how erotic! I can think of other, silly mistakes 
that slipped the editing process, such as 'latter' instead of 'later', 
and enough comma splices to mend the World Trade Center. Don't even let 
me start on his use of punctuation! The author should have her/his 
semicolon license revoked.

The author was clearly trying to work on his/her description, and apply 
richer sentence structures than ordinary raunch. I'm sure our host is 
filled with comraderie.

He's at least filled with recognition. Who know's what state of grammer 
and punctuation our little conversation will be posted in?

Dear, perhaps we should talk about the sex. Even you have to admit 
Mother and Son had a hot time on the couch that night.

Thank God for sex! There I was, thinking that I was reading an escapee 
from the Romance Festival, with talk of pendendums and vulvas, when all 
of a sudden, {she grabbed one of my buttocks in each hand and pulled me 
into her with one long smooth motion.} and {"Fuck your Holly now 
Jimmy..., just fuck me.} Except that should have been 'mommy' and 'baby'.

The author was using the erotic device of the characters pretending to 
not be mother and son. Their fucking even tossed us the impregnation 
bone, bless it dearly. The whole story is a sincere attempt at elevating 
the art of raunch without losing it's soul.

I almost didn't lose my cum. Uncle Mudge's first law of raunch is, 
'Either get to the fucking, or fuck with the reader until you do.' I 
don't believe in elevating raunch. It properly belongs in the sewer. 
Raising it to the gutter doesn't impress anyone.

Fortunately, not everyone lives in your universe, honey. Let's hope 
cmsix continues to write.


Conclusion: 2 gonads (out of 4).

DN

(SHAMELESS PLUG: Look for 'Semper Fi' by DiscipleN. Should be up in a 
day or two. It's my own attempt at loosening the raunch lable I enjoyed 
sticking on my own forehead.)

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> |
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html>  Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}|
|Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org>      |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+