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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} 'Ovelay Etray' RomFest by the Split-DiscipleN
Date: Tue,  6 Aug 2002 08:10:05 -0400
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WARNING: writing the sour Uncle Mudgeon is a lot more fun than sweet 
Aunt Courage. So please apply filters against his brow-beating style.


Chat and instant message technologies have been around for how many 
years? I tried one today, wanted to talk to a friend about one of the 
romance festival entries. At one point during the conversation, I got 
incredibly confused about who's line was whom, and suddenly there were 
all the new people trying to get their opinion in. I seperated the other 
people's lines out from the chat history and discovered they weren't 
talking to either of us, only to themselves. I don't know where they 
could have come from. I thought private chat rooms and such were 
password protected. Go figure.


Uncle Mudgeon and Aunt Courage in 'Double Impenetrable'

Oh honey, there you are. You look so beautiful all naked like that. Is 
there something you want to ask me?

Cripes woman, all you ever do is tease. Why won't you just get down and 
dirty and stop all the luvy-dovey BS?

You sure know the way to a woman's heart.

Yeah, well compared to the pair of jokers in our Lord and Master's 
latest reading assignment, I'm a sex educator and you're a professional 
surrogate.

You mean 'Love Tree' by Musenik.

A title that lame boils with potential for good raunch, and the codes 
include 'sex', a flaunt to the other romance writers who thought that 
NOT listing the code 'no-sex' was good enough for an Alt.SEX.story. 
(hmph!) To my horror, I find the story filled with the opposite of 
raunch, sex as metaphor instead of good, hot, fucking!

Dear! I suspect this writer is new here. I've never seen her or his work 
before. We have to be extra careful not to intimidate a newbie.

You aren't going to cut another switch like last time, are you?

Not if you behave yourself. This time, why don't you say something 
positive about this story?

The writer, positively, has the aspiration of Robert Graves, without a 
splinter of the talent.

I was thrilled to read the prose of a writer who's so plainly trying to 
stretch himself/herself. I swooned at the description. {I who raise my 
arms like a cripple begging the sun, my skin bursts in spring with 
scented lips. Come summer, I unfurl lime hearts to cool the 
earth.}Postively dreamy.

I thought the sentences were too often akward and dry. {Grief and injury 
tumbled in turmoil beneath his head scarf. Relief and regret broke 
through as the woman tended his wounds.} Huh? tumbling injury?? x and y 
broke through what???  Head scarf??? as if the author's afraid of 
stereotyping an arab with a turbin (or whatever they're called).

And the characters were so passionate, the horror of battle's aftermath 
in conflict with true love. Two lovers find themselves desperate to 
conceive a child before the man dies of war wounds. It lifted my spirit 
to pray for their victory over the evils of war.

It was a stretch. I'll say that much. These charaters are little more 
than sympathetic cartoons of middle-eastern peoples. There probably is 
no such combination of cultural traits as those given in the story. We 
get a list of fundamentalist anti-sexuality, including female 
castration, that would make Jesse Helms quit the Moral Majority. Hell, 
one of my best pervert buddies I hang out with around public swimming 
pools, he's a Saudi mechanical engineer. The author hasn't a clue about 
their real culture.

This writer has a love of grandeur and must have poured her/his soul 
into the work. {Through my leaves, the man looked toward his god for 
mercy. Warm light sprinkled upon him.}

What is this, Eddie and the Cruisers rise again out of porn newsgroups? 
Isn't A.S.S. SUPPOSE to be the trash heap of love, my head-in-the-clouds 
wife?

The story is incredibly imaginative and original. I'm so thilled new 
blood still takes the time and cares enough to post here, especially 
iconoclastic work.

But WHO is this story for? Me, you? Dearest, you may like the odd fling 
with James Joyce, but when prose comes to shove, you like a good hard 
dick in your wet cunt.

(blush) I suppose you do know the way to this woman's heart.


Conclusion: 3 crucifixes masturbating (out of 4)

DN

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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