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From: "Mary Cook" <r.cook2@ukonline.co.uk>
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Subject: {ASSM} {ASS} Time in Life {Mary Cook} (FF cons rom)
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Date: Tue, 23 Jul 2002 07:10:06 -0400
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Time in Life
By Mary Cook
www.torndress.org

In class, again. It was summer outside and I was inside, in the shade.
For the hundredth time I looked at the clock. Twenty minutes to go. Ten
minutes. Five minutes. I looked over at Sophie, willing her to look at
me. She looked over my shoulder and then caught my gaze. I smiled and
and threw my eyes up to the ceiling. She smiled back. 

0 minutes. The lesson was over at last. I put away my stuff lickety
split and waited for Sophie to do the same. She did, picked up her bag
and walked past me with a 'Bye Kate.' 

'See ya' I said, disappointed. I don't know what I'd been expecting. Her
to make the same effort as I did? Maybe. 

*** 

I walked out with June into the June sunshine with my thoughts: 

I saw Sophie and smiled at her. She smiled back and I approached her and
kissed her gently on the lips. She kissed me back... 

'Kate?' said June, jerking me back to reality.
'Yeah?' I said distractedly.
'You wanna go and get some lunch?' 

She pulled me into an empty classroom... 

'Hello?' said June.
'Sorry, what?'
'I said, do you want to go and get some lunch?'
'Sure.' 

We kissed again... 

*** 

I was at home and labouring over a card for Sophie. It was very mushy
but that was OK because I wasn't signing it. 

I hid it in a book until I could post it. I replayed in my head the joke
my friend Vicky had told me a few days earlier: 

A man walks in to a bar and says, 'Bartender, Give me 10 Tequilas!'
The bartender says, 'Whoa, buddy! You have a bad day or something? 
'I just went home,' replies the man 'and found out my son is gay.'
'That's tough,' replied the bartender. 'Here's your Tequilas.' 

The Next Day, same man, same bar.
'Bartender! 20 Tequilas!'
'Jesus, what now?'
'I just went home and found out my brother is gay!'
'That's tough, here's 20 Tequilas, on the house. 

The Next Day, same man, same bar.
'Bartender, 30 Tequilas!'
'Dammit, doesn't anybody in your family like pussy?'
'Well, apparently my wife does.' replied the man. 

I laughed out loud, despite my sombre mood. Sometimes it really got me
down not having someone and I would put some music on full volume and
stomp around until I made myself cry, sinking into saddness. 

*** 

I had been crash attracted to Sophie for three months. Then one night
when I was in a bar, there she was. I went up and said hello, stole a
hug from her. We talked on this and that. I excused myself to the bar,
consumed three drinks very quickly. I went and sat with some friends
until Air Dutch Courage landed and I went in search of her. 

I couldn't find her. 

I asked everyone where she was. No one knew. 

I went home to a drunken sleep full of comings and goings, rocket ships
orbiting a planet. Boats sailing across the sea, only to land back on
the same shore. I woke up at my appointed hangover time of six am. The
rest is irrelevant. 

*** 

I looked at the card I had made the day earlier and blushed: 


Sophie, 

You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
My heart is empty without you. 

All my Love, 

Someone 


What had I been thinking? It had seemed perfectly rational to send it
yesterday but that was when I was without the benefit of my new found
optimism. I put the card back in the book and put the book back on the
shelf, then had an attack of paranoia and hid it right at the back of my
cupboard. 

*** 

In class again. There she was, staring over my shoulder again. I turned
around. She must be looking at the table behind me but who in
particular? There was no way I could know. I just hoped it wasn't
gorilla boy. I could not lose her to him. I put this thought from my
mind as too horrible to contemplate and instead concentrated on her. 

She had shoulder-blade length brown hair that looked best when she put
it up in a hairclip. Her neck was fragile and infinitely kissable. She
had brown eyes, a small nose and cherubic lips (slightly too delicate at
first glance but just right with a seasoned eye). Her gorgeous, thin
shoulders ran down into dainty arms and long fingers. She had amazing
breasts, particularly enhanced by a lilac, low necked top she was fond
of wearing. I had never seen her bare legs but I imagined them to be
long and athletic, ending in perfectly proportioned feet. And she
painted her fingernails. 

Sophie was only in two of my classes and in only one of those did I have
a good view of her and the opportunity of talking. In the other class,
she sat directly behind me and if I leant back, my back would touch
hers. I remember one time the teacher was arguing with her about
something and I came in on her side and he backed down. She'd leaned
back in her chair and turned her cheek to me so it was almost touching
mine and whispered 'Thanks Kate.' 

I always wished fate would throw me a six so I could have a chance of
spending time with her. Like bumping into her and asking her to come for
a coffee, casual like. Or being assigned to do a project together,
getting a little behind schedule, having to spend a day at home
finishing it with her... 

*** 

The Geography Trip. Spent tramping over hills, wading into thigh-deep
rivers at the exact point where the water runs fastest and the danger is
greatest, trying to find new and ingenuous ways to liven up the evening
but usually resorting to leafing through a magazine you have read three
times before, laughing rather hollowly at the fashion pages and ugly
models. 

The (very) good parts were the mini-bus rides. We usually spent at least
an hour driving to get to the hills we were going to ascend. I rolled a
double six. The seats were in twos and I managed to man|uvre myself so I
was sharing a seat with Sophie. I couldn't believe it. I got to talk to
her for a whole hour and things went swimmingly. We got on really well
and it didn't stop there, on subsequent bus-rides people gravitated
towards the same seats. I sat next to her on the bus rides for the whole
week. If we weren't talking, I would usually look at her from the corner
of my eye. If she saw, she would say 'What?' and I would just smile. 

On one particular journey, we had been separated and were sitting on
adjacent seats on either side of the aisle. A commotion at the back of
the bus had caused us to look down between the pairs of seats to see
what was to be seen. Sophie had turned her head back round and as she
had done so, her lips had passed within a hair's breadth of mine. I know
she noticed. 

*** 

So I was in deadlock. Perhaps I persuaded myself I was - I was waiting
for a situation to bring us together so I could act upon my feelings for
her. I'd considered sending her flowers loads of times. This time, I
acted. 

I had no idea how much it was to send a bouquet so I went to Interflora
armed with my entire bank account. I picked a beautiful arrangement of
roses from the catalogue and told them her address. They asked me for
the message on the card and I gave: 

Sophie, 

All my love is for you, 

Kate 

They gave a funny look and wrote it down. I was tired with hedging, I
wanted to grow a tree, for her to know how I felt. I handed over the
money and they said the flowers should arrive the next day. 

*** 

The next day was Sunday and today was Monday. I had my lesson with her
at the end of the day. I came in late and sat down. She was blushing. My
heart was rushing. I tried to exuberate calm but down in my stomach and
between my legs was a tingly feeling I had felt before but never so much
as this. 

The lesson flew by. The end came, and we all left the classroom. I
caught up with her, deciding to plunge in headfirst and find out if it
was cold when I got there. 

'Hi Sophie. How are you?' I said.
'Fine thanks.' she said, blushing again.
'You want to go and have a coffee?' I prayed.
'Yes, we need to discuss things.' 

We walked on, making small-talk, delaying the heart-talk until we got to
the cafe. 

We arrived, sat down, the waiter came over, I ordered an unashamedly
childish hot-chocolate and she ordered coffee. 

'So.' I said.
'So.' she said.
'Did you like the flowers?'
'Yes, very much.' 

This was promising. 

'W...What do you think?' I said. My heart was in my mouth and it was in
what came out of hers.
'I like you as a friend but...but...but not in that way.'
'OK.' I said.
'You don't mind?' she said surprised.
'I don't mind.' I smiled. I did mind, terribly much, but I didn't want
her to feel uncomfortable, that might sour our friendship which I
definitely didn't want. 

Conversation was considerably easier after that. We talked on the latest
movie that was out and how bad it was, we talked about the Geography
trip and laughed a lot, I recommended a book to her which I had read
recently. 

We got up, paid and walked out of the door. Our homeward journeys were
the same for the first part and we walked along, still talking. I
noticed she cast sideways glances at me, seeing what my reaction was to
the things she said. We got to the fork of our journeys and stopped. I
thought about her little glances at me and remembered I had done much
the same thing. I took an enormous risk. 

I took her hand and before she could realise what was happening, pulled
her into an alleyway and kissed her gently but fiercely on the lips. She
didn't kiss back for a moment but then she did, my heart soared up to
the top of my chest. I put my hands gently on the shoulders I had wanted
to touch for so long. Broke the kiss to put little kisses down her cheek
and on her neck, not daring to go any further. 

Eventually, I forced myself to break away so she could assess things. I
looked into her eyes and to my delight, she reached behind my head and
placed her hand on my neck and pulled me gently back into the kiss. It
was so lovely, being that close to her. I whispered into her ear 'I wish
all my friends were this nice to me'. She giggled. 

After a while, we stopped and I breathed, 'Wow.'
'Yeah, wow.' she said and smiled at me.
'Do you want to come back to my house for dinner?' I said.
She hesitated and said 'I have to get home, I'd love to but...'
'Another time?' 
'Tomorrow?' she suggested.
'Definitely.' and kissed her again, to remind myself it was real. 

*** 

It was the next evening. My parents had gone out. I was wrestling with
dinner when the doorbell rang. I opened the door, cursing the fact she
was early and was surprised to find June on the doorstep. 

'Hi there.' I said, sounding more pleased than I was.
'Hiya, I was bored at home so I thought I'd pop round.' she said
chirpily.
'Come in, have a drink.' I had half an hour until Sophie was due. 

I carried on cooking dinner as we talked. I hadn't told June about
recent events as I didn't want to count my chickens. I was still
incredibly nervous that Sophie would arrive and have changed her mind.
June calmed me down which was good - if Sophie had arrived when I was in
my pre-June mood, I would have been awful company for her. 

The doorbell rang again, in came Sophie, looking absolutely fantastic in
a long navy blue cotton skirt and a red strappy top. She smelt of exotic
fruit. June sprang up, putting two and two together and getting four.
Like the darling she is she said 'Well, I said I'd meet James at ten so
I must go.' It was eight o'clock. She hurried out of the door. 

I had dinner prepared and a bottle of wine in the fridge. 

'Take a seat.' I said. She did and I brought out the food. I had made
salmon with dill and new potatoes and chocolate mousse for dessert. I
set the salmon down and served her some and then myself. 

She dropped a bombshell but not the one I had been expecting that
concerned me and her and a mistake. 'Um. I'm a vegetarian, I don't eat
fish. I'm, I'm sorry, you've gone to so much trouble...'
'Not to worry, I have a back-up.' I said and got the enormous bowl of
chocolate mousse I had made. I walked into the sitting room, put the
bowl down on the coffee table, walked back into the kitchen, took
Sophie's hand, led her to the sofa and sat her down. I went back into
the kitchen, got three spoons and two bowls, walked into the sitting
room, sat on the sofa, served out the mousse into the bowls, gave Sophie
a spoon and a bowl and we ate. 

'This is delicious Kate.'
'You want some more?' I said and took her bowl.
'Yes please.' 

I put some more mousse in the bowl and handed it back to her. She
finished that as well and I took her bowl from her and said again with a
smile: 

'More?'
'I couldn't...' 

I set both our bowls on the table and picked up her hand. 

'I love this nailpolish, reminds me of the sea.' I squeezed her hand,
she squeezed mine back. My heart quickened. She looked at me and
laughed, nicely, and stroked her thumb over the back of my hand. An
enormous crash came from in the kitchen and we started. I kept a hold of
Sophie's hand and led her into the kitchen. On the floor was the bottle
of wine, and a vase of flowers, smashed. I saw the cat skulking in the
corner. It had been on a salmon hunt. 'Fuck.' 

I turned to Sophie and said 'I'll just clean this up...you go into the
sitting room and have some more chocolate mousse, I won't be a minute.'
She reluctantly went. I set about clearing up, not before putting the
cat out. It took longer that I had expected and after about ten minutes,
Sophie came in asking if I needed any help. I said it was nearly done (a
lie) - I didn't want her to dirty those beautiful hands. 

She went back, I spent another twenty minutes clearing and finally it
was done. I cleaned myself up, went back into the sitting room and sat
down next to her. At that moment the door clicked, opened and in came my
parents with a cheery 'We're home!' For the second time that night, I
cursed inwardly. We stayed where we were, a little further apart than
before, fielded the usual questions on whether we had had a nice evening
and then Sophie got up to go and said 'it was nice to meet you' to my
parents. 

'Come again soon' they said, everyone knew their lines. 

I took Sophie to the door and she opened it and stepped outside. 'Sorry
about tha...' I started to say when she cut in. 'Don't be silly, not
your fault. Come to my house at eight tomorrow and I'll cook you
dinner.'
'I'll be there' I said smiling, resisted the urge to ravish her then and
there and kissed her on the cheek. 'See you tomorrow.'
'Bye.' she said. 

*** 

I was so anticipating the evening, the day passed in a dream. I wondered
what she would cook me. I wondered whether Sophie's parents would be
home. 

*** 

I stood on the doorstep and rang the bell. She came to the door. My
mouth dropped open a little at the sight of her and I stood there dumbly
staring. I caught the smell of cooking - tomatoes and onions. 

'Are you coming in?' said Sophie, laughing.
'Yeah.' I said still recovering. 'You look amazing.'
'Why thank you.' she said and struck a pose. 

She kissed me on both cheeks and I followed her into the kitchen. I
breathed in the intoxicating smell of her perfume, lemons. She poured me
a glass of white wine. I sat down on a nearby chair and watched her
cook. She turned everything onto a low heat and said 'I just have to
finish getting ready.' 

'You look fine to me' I said grinning.
'All the same' she said and started up the stairs. I stayed where I was,
uncertain.
'Aren't you coming too?'
'Sure.' I said and got up and followed her. 

Her room was painted white and she had posters up, mostly of paintings.
I saw the flowers I had sent her in a vase in the corner. She began
doing her make up in the mirror. She coloured her lips red and put on
mascara. 

I came up behind her, extremely turned on by this display. She put down
a brush she was using and turned round and put her arms round my neck. I
leant forward and kissed her and my heart did a backflip. We kissed
gently and then I felt her mouth open a little. I let the tip of my
tongue touch her lips and she opened her mouth wider. We kissed deeply,
my hands slid round her waist. She led me over to the bed, still kissing
and pulled me on top of her. We lay and kissed and kissed and kissed. My
tongue was exploring her mouth slowly when there was a hiss from
downstairs. 

She broke away and said 'The dinner!'
'You're all I need for dinner Sophie' I said mischievously. She pulled
me back into the kiss and the only hisses after that came from us. 

After a lovely, long kiss she broke away again and said 'I really should
turn off the cooker downstairs.' I got up and said 'You stay there, I'll
do it.' 

I went downstairs, turned off the burners and collected the bottle of
wine and two more glasses. When I came back upstairs she had a lipstick
in her hand. 'I want to put this on your lips' she said. 

I raised an eyebrow and said 'You already have.'
'You know what I mean.'
'OK, go on then' I said sitting on a chair. 

She knelt down in front of me and started putting on the lipstick. It
felt wonderful. She did two coats before I could resist no longer and
put my hand under her chin and drew her towards me. I kissed her and
then moved down to her neck, planting little kisses up and down it,
leaving a trail of red lip marks. She looked down and saw them and said
with a grin 'You'd better clean those off' I returned to her neck, this
time gently sucking and licking at it. She moaned softly. It was the
first time I had heard her and it brought me close to tears, I was so
happy. 

Her neck was clean and I took the lipstick and drew a line down the
middle of her chest and partway down between her breasts. I followed it
with my lips, sucking and kissing and she pulled me onto the bed. I made
love to her and her groans and gasps sang in my ears as I gave my all to
her. 

Afterwards, we lay on the bed, occasionally kissing softly and
eventually fell asleep in each other's arms. I was finally at peace.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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