index


Message-ID: <37425asstr$1027077002@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
Reply-To: aquillae@excite.com
From: "Aquillae" <aquillae@excite.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Subject: {ASSM} <P2C> The Longest Shot  (by Aquillae) (Gooie Satire)
Date: Fri, 19 Jul 2002 07:10:02 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d


The Longest Shot
by
Aquillae
Copyright 8/19/2001

Aquillae stood in the dim, pale, cool moonlight of an early
autumn morning, the mist of centuries past coalescing about him.
With his head lifted up to gaze upon the eternal heavens, he gave
voice to the clashing thoughts that were troubling his young
soul.  "Pee Two or not Pee Two?  That is the question.  Whether
`tis story doth follow the rules and guidelines of that challenge
which hath torn asunder the fabric of our once harmonious unions,
or by abandoning those confines of structure and coding do ascend
to the very heights of heaven and perchance to touch the gossamer
wings of one's muse."

Aquillae paused in reflective thought on the monumental decision
before him.  Then he burped.

**** 

This is my story for the  story challenge.  The due date was for
June 24, 2001.  As this is August, it seems that I'm a little
early in my posting. 

I figured everyone involved with the challenge was going to write
a sentimental, lovey-dovey romance type story, so I decided to
try my hand with the following.  My apologies to Uther, but he
did say there would be no judges. (As if I would stand a chance
at winning) (I'm still winless in the write club duels at 0-3)
Maybe I should try my hand at the Iron Writer's Challenge.  There
still is an Iron Writer's Challenge, isn't there?

The Longest Shot - (by Aquillae) (Gooie Satire)


Under a starlit night, the two were joined as one in creation's
sweet embrace.  Their songs of passion were picked up on the
light fragrances of a Caribbean breeze and swept across the
deserted sands.  The clear, blue-green waters of the warm sea,
pulled in by the embrace of the moon, rushed in, poring the
warmth of its foamy water over them, only to slowly draw itself
back into the sea and wait with anticipation for the next tug to
send its warmth crashing in against the two.

Into the night their embrace continued. 

*** 

Freddy dodged.  He bobbed.  He weaved.  He combined all three
moves, plus several special inventions of his own, into a
rhythmic dance.  As he completed the last of the moves, a tight
spin to the left while jumping high in the air, that he
affectionately called his `can't touch this' move, Freddy whooped
out with excited glee, and then collapsed to the floor of his
bathroom in a split.  He lifted himself up to his full height
with a twisting move.  Then swinging his head around quickly, he
smiled at his reflection in the mirror and exclaimed, "Oh, baby!
Daddy gonna show you some moves tonight."

Stepping closer to the mirror and squinting slightly, Freddy
examined his maturing body.  He was proud of what he could see.

With a jolt, Freddy was startled to attention.  The
communications box that was bolted to the wall above his bunk
suddenly burst into life with a whining, shrill cry.  Never
before had he, or any of his bunkmates, heard the siren call from
the box.  A voice cut in over the whining, shrill cry. 
"Attention!  Attention!  Attention all able bodied men and women.
 This is no drill.  I repeat.  This is no drill.  Those in the
first wave to the main staging area."

With those last words, a great commotion commenced in the main
hall just outside Freddy's door.  In a trance, he walked over and
opened the door to see the cause of the noise.  He stood in
disbelief, his rumpled socks down around his ankles, watching the
multitudes of future humanity rushing past his doorway, helmets
on and dog tags jingling in a chorus of metallic tones against
their naked bodies.

Johnny, a short, blond haired, blue eyed kid of a man, skilled in
mathematics and computers, saw Freddy standing dumbly in his
doorway and waved to him.  Freddy waved back, still in a haze,
not really taking in the significance of what was happening in
front of him.  Seeing his friend's dazed reaction, Johnny turned
and fought his way against the powerful flow of future humanity
to reach his friend.  As he neared the doorway, he called out,
"Freddy!  What are you doing?  Get out here, Freddy?  You're
going to miss..."  His words were cut off as a tall brunette with
brown eyes and a `Penthouse Magazine' body smacked into him and
carried him away with his head buried in her massive cleavage. 
His face pinned against her dog tag, Johnny was surprised to read
that she was an astrophysicist.  

Freddy watched as Johnny disappeared first into the woman's
cleavage, and then down the main hall.  He smiled and waved
good-bye to his friend, and then frowned as something slowly
began to nag at him.  He was sure it was important, but he
couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The voice spoke from the box again.  "First wave positions are
filled.  I repeat, first wave positions are filled.  We will now
commence with second wave operations."  Freddy's head turned
quickly to face the box.  "All those in the second wave report to
the reserve staging area."

With a flash of enthusiasm Freddy came to life.  He spun quickly
on his heels, dashed for his locker and pulled it open.  In one
stab, he grabbed his helmet and dog tags, and then rushed out of
his room to the main hall and right smack into a heavyset man
with black hair and blue eyes.  Freddy ricocheted off the
heavyset man and into the wall with a heavy thud, then slid down
to the floor.

Pulling his socks off, he tossed them at the heavyset man who had
wobbled backwards and collapsed on several people, causing a
major pileup.  Freddy slipped his dog tags on, and then standing
up, plopped the helmet on his head.  As he ran down the main hall
trying to catch up with the rest of the second wave, he worked to
readjust his chinstrap.  He finally caught up with the second
wave as they were entering the reserve staging area.

Standing at the entrance door to the reserve staging area was
Reinhold, a little man who wore spectacles and held a rather long
clipboard.  As each member of the second wave moved to cross the
threshold into the staging area, they presented their dog tags to
Reinhold, who, with a quick scan of the pages clipped to his
board, called out a name and color, and then made a checkmark
next to the name.  Inside the reserve staging area an usher, who
would wave the individual forward and point them in the direction
of their launching area, repeated the name and the color.

Quickly Freddy moved closer and closer to the entrance.  The
little man seemed in a hurry to finish loading the people into
their positions as quickly as possible.

"Name.  William.  Occupation.  Construction worker," Reinhold
said as he examined the dog tags of the tall, powerful man
standing in front of Freddy.  After a quick flip through his
pages, he added, "green sector," and then placed a check by the
name.  William gave a nod which Reinhold did not see, and then
hurried into the reserve staging area and followed the usher's
directions.

"Next," Reinhold said in a slightly agitated tone.

Freddy, who had been watching William enter the staging area,
looked around.  "I guess that's me," he said, and stepped up to
the doorway.  Having never seen the interior of the staging area,
Freddy stopped and stood staring with awe into the vast opening
that stretched out before him.

Reinhold waited, tapping his clipboard.  Checking his watch, he
decided it was time to use `the cough'.  He coughed.

Freddy turned to face the little man.  "Sorry," Freddy said as he
showed Reinhold his dog tags, "this is the first time I've ever
seen the staging area."

"Oh, really," Reinhold answered in his standard
sounding-interested-but-really-couldn't-give-a-shit-because-every
one-says-that tone as he examined the tags, "what do you think of
our little place?"

"Little?" Freddy exclaimed as he glanced back through the
doorway.  "Man, if that's little I'd hate to see what you guys
consider big."

"Yes," Reinhold remarked dryly.  "Name.  Freddy."

"Present, sir!" Freddy turned and saluted.  Then leaning toward
the little man he gave a childlike smile and added, "I always
wanted to do that."

Reinhold gave a short, quick, lackluster laugh.  "Yes, very
amusing.  Occupation."  He paused and tried to decipher the badly
damaged tag.  "Exo Dan?  Por O?"  He looked up to Freddy.  "What
is this?"

"Oh, that.  I forgot to take it off one time before getting into
the showers."  Freddy stepped beside him.  "That says Exotic
Dancer," he pointed out the words, "and that says Porno Star."

"Porno star?" Reinhold questioned Freddy.

Freddy pointed down to his crotch.

Reinhold looked down.  Without comment he flipped through his
papers, found Freddy's name, and simply said, "brown sector."

"Wish me luck," Freddy gave the little man a slap on the
shoulder.

"Luck," Reinhold replied in a deadpan tone.

Freddy hurried in and followed the directions of the usher.

Before placing a check beside Freddy's name, Reinhold examined
the probability chart for Freddy.  His heart sank.  Freddy's
chance of successfully completing his mission was better than
eighty-five percent.  He made the checkmark.

Suddenly a rumbling noise echoed down the length of the main
hall.  Reinhold glanced over the top of his clipboard to see the
cause of the rumble.  As he saw the mass of future humanity
tumbling toward him, led it seemed by a very large, heavyset man,
Reinhold cursed softly and wished his ancestors had settled
someplace other than the reproductive organs.     
 
Inside the reserve staging area, Freddy followed the usher to his
sector.  Inside the brown sector, he nudged the man next to him.
"Finally made the big time, huh."

The man, a skinny sales representative with a slight vegetable
fetish, glanced over at him, seeming to size Freddy up as a
potential competitor, then with a contemptuous `humph', returned
to watching the huge video monitor above the exit doors to the
staging area.

Freddy glanced up at the monitor.  He squinted in an effort to
focus the image, and then cursed himself for leaving his glasses
back in his locker.  He squinted harder trying to follow the
action on the display.  It appeared to be some sort of war flick
were the marines were getting ready to storm the beaches.  There
were subtitles at the bottom of the video image, but to Freddy
they appeared as a soft blur.  In his present situation, Freddy
decided to do what any nearsighted individual would do - he made
up his own words to follow the story.

 "Whoosh!" Freddy added some sound effects as the small landing
crafts bobbed and swayed in the high heaving seas.  "Uh, I knew I
shouldn't have eaten that last burrito before we shipped out," he
dubbed in for one sickly looking young marine who was about to
throw up over the side.  When the young soldier did in fact throw
up, Freddy added the appropriate sound effect.  The people
gathered in his sector turned to glare at him.  He gave them a
quick friendly smile, which they did not return.  Instead, they
returned to watching the video monitor.

Unfazed by their snotty attitudes, Freddy continued with his own
version of the story.

When the mortars exploded in the sea near the landing craft,
Freddy was ready with a sound effect for that too - "Phoom! 
Splosh!"  Then when a mortar hit one of the landing crafts,
sending the little boat and men inside flying up into the air, he
added -  "Phoom!  Boom!  Wah!"

Those around Freddy tried to ignore him.

The little landing crafts made it to the beach and quickly
lowered their doors.  The soldiers rushed out of the boats and
into the surf, where they were open targets for the enemy
soldiers.  As the bloodshed and carnage intensified on the
screen, Freddy forgot about the people standing around him, and
let lose with a quick barrage of wartime cliché's.

"Phoom!  Ka-Boom!  Wah!  They got me.  Medic!  Medic!  Phoom! 
Incoming!!  Ka-Ka-Boom!!!  Ahhh!  Rat-a-ta-a-ta.  Rat-a-ta-a-ta.
They got Johnson!  Momma!"

Those around Freddy glared at him with annoyance.

Freddy felt the oppressive stares of the people around him.  He
stopped and looked at the people.  A peroxide blonde with way too
much blue mascara gave Freddy a condescending `tsk'.   Freddy, as
any mature adult would, replied by sticking out his tongue and
saying, "Phttpf!"  The group gave a unified "humph!" and then
turned away from Freddy.  Freddy responded with a five-fingered
salute.

At that moment several things happened at once.  The first was
that the video of the war film was cut off and replaced by a blue
screen.  Next the people in the staging area were pushed and
shoved into each other as the walls of the staging area started
to constrict tighter and tighter.  As the constricting increased,
people were forced against each other in an ever-increasing
tighter squeeze.  Freddy quickly found himself pressed firmly
against the backside of the peroxide blonde.

"I beg your pardon!" she declared as she felt Freddy's talents
pressed firmly against her buttocks.

"Oh, that's alright," Freddy replied, enjoying the tight squeeze,
"I don't mind."

The peroxide blonde tried to wiggle her body away from Freddy. 
Unfortunately for her, this only increased the size and width of
Freddy's talents.  "Oh!" she exclaimed, feeling the bulk of him
push through her thighs and emerge out in front of her body.

Freddy snickered.  "That's what happens when you pet the python,
Blondie."

Above the commotion of the ever-tightening group, a burst of
static erupted from the PA system.  The people tried to turn and
look to the speakers.  Pushed and bumped by those around her, the
peroxide blonde moaned as she felt Freddy's talents increase. 
The skinny sales representative, managing to turn in the press of
humanity, took one look at the peroxide blonde and remarked
tersely, "Oh, that is just so tacky."

Freddy glanced at him from over the shoulder of the peroxide
blonde.  "Jealous?"

"Jealous?  Of that thing?" the skinny sales representative
replied with contempt.  He watched in wonder as Freddy lifted the
swooning peroxide blonde several times using nothing but his
talent.  In an attempt to bolster his own pride, the skinny sales
representative glanced down at his own crotch.  After seeing the
extent of his talents, he whished he hadn't.  He looked at the
peroxide blonde, gripped by the powerful throws of ecstasy, and
weakly commented, "Jealous?  Don't be ridiculous."

A flat, monotone voice echoed through the staging area as it
emerged from the PA system.  "T minus fifteen minutes and
counting."   Inside the staging area the squeeze became tighter
by the second.  "All systems functioning normally.  Pressure is
up to eighty percent.  T minus fourteen minutes thirty seconds
and counting.  Open ducts and release fluids."  From the back of
the staging area several large oval portals opened and quickly
flooded the staging area with a thick, gooie, white liquid that
swiftly rose to waist level.  The staging area continued to
constrict.

As the monotone voice slowly counted down to zero, Freddy and the
others were slowly being pulled back against the back wall of the
staging area.

"T minus ten minutes."

The increasing squeeze of bodies in the ever-constricting area
brought Freddy's talent up against the backside of a future Dot
com executive.  Unaccustomed to the strange sensations rushing
through his body, the young future executive's body jiggled in a
spasm of wild, uncontrolled, and hitherto unknown ecstasy.

The jiggling of the young executive started a chain reaction of
jiggling and spasms that quickly raced through the confined
humanity.  When the wave of jiggling reached the front of the
staging area a young, overzealous, right wing conservative named
Herbert, wiggled, waggled, and joggled in an epileptic seizure of
self-righteous self-glorification that rocketed the skinny young
man upward and slammed him into the ceiling of the staging area.

Unfortunately for the gathered humanity in the staging area, the
one point on the ceiling that Herbert chose to impact with was
the very sensitive trigger area for ejecting the restrained
gathering of future humanity.

Sirens wailed and lights flashed as Herbert fell back to the
floor of the staging area.  With a squishy sounding splash he
landed in the gooie, white liquid and quickly went under. 
Herbert, or  `H' as his close friends knew him, struggled and
thrashed about in the protein shake of life trying to get his
head above the gooie liquid of love.

Suddenly the PA system erupted in sound.  The once calm, monotone
voice of the PA announcer was replaced by a panic-stricken voice
that cried out in a succession of quick, rapid words as it tried
to deal with the unexpected and rapidly deteriorating situation.


"Warning!  Warning!  Ejection sequence has been manually
triggered in circuit E-Jack.  Unable to contain systems overload.
 Repeat.  Unable to contain systems overload.  Preparing for
emergency E-Jack.  Switching to program PE-00-Alpha-1."

The staging area rapidly filled with more of the gooie, white
liquid.

Unable to cope with the unexpected situation that was quickly
developing, the nervous system controlling the PA announcements
went neural and started babbling out a string of stored up verbal
memory files.  "Norman, please coordinate!  I can't hold her any
longer, Captain!  She's breaking up!  She's breaking up!  Once
more into the breach!  Release the hounds!!"  And with that last
exclamation of adolescent memories the entire staging area gave a
quick spasm of motion and propelled the gooie confined gathering
of humanity down into the long tube-like structure at the far
front of the staging area.  With its last remaining flashes of
consciousness, the nervous system quietly intoned, "My God, it's
full of stars." 

"Wah!" they screamed as one as the force rocketed them through
the length of the tube.  Far ahead they could see a white light
at the end of the long tube.  Within a matter of seconds they
reached the white light.  In a final exhilarating burst of speed
they exploded out of the tube.  With joyful rapture they soared
into the open expanse, feeling the thrilling excitement of
weightlessness as they sailed in a beautiful arch across space. 

Nearing the zenith of their flight they started to feel the
growing pull of gravity on their bodies.  Quickly gravity took
hold and pulled the mass of future humanity back down to it. 
With a hard, squishy splash the first wave crash-landed in a
warm, gooie pile.  A second later the second wave landed on top
of the pile.  A few seconds after that, the third wave landed on
the first two waves.  After that there was silence as the huge
pile of humanity and liquid love slowly spread out to cover the
soft warm ground.

"That's just great!" a self-professed agnostic shouted as he
pushed aside the wiggling mass of humanity that had been covering
him.  "That's just fucking great!"

"What's your problem?" Freddy asked as he wiped a future USC Film
Student off of him.

"Problem?" the agnostic rounded on Freddy.  "I'm not the one with
the problem, man.  I'm not the one who screwed the pooch.  I'm
not the one who went PE!"

"PE?" Freddy asked as a small group joined the two.

"PE, man.  You know."

Freddy shook his head to signify that he didn't know.

A female voice spoke from behind Freddy.  "He means Premature
Ejaculation.  PE."

Freddy turned.  His first happy surprise was in seeing the tall,
beautiful brunette with the gorgeous body.  His second happy
surprise was in seeing his long time friend, Johnny.  The two old
friends quickly began reminiscing about the good old days.

"Are you two finished with the family reunion?" the agnostic
asked when the two had paused for breath.

"Yeah."  Johnny replied and Freddy nodded.

"Good," the agnostic's tone was the purest sarcasm.  "Now if we
can get back to some serious matters here."

"Serious?" Herbert's voice quivered.

"Yes, serious.  Or don't you think someone going PE and
destroying everyone's chance for reproduction a serious matter?"

"I really don't think it would be judiciary," Herbert stopped and
mentally tested the long, multi-syllable word.  Confident that he
was on the right track, he continued, joyously oblivious of his
own forthcoming derailment, "at this juncture to address the
issues of Preeminent Ejaculation, or who started what.  I think
the main issue we should be addressing is where are we.  And what
do we plan on doing."

"Where are we?  What the hell does it matter where we are!  We
went PE, you idiot!  For all we know the dumb jerk never got his
fly unzipped.  For all we know we're probably just a cum stain on
the boxer shorts of life."

Amanda, who was growing a bit tiered with the unbearable
vibrations caused by the agnostic's continual bad karma,
commented, "I don't think we're in the boxer shorts."

"What?" the agnostic rounded on her.

"I said I don't think we're in the boxer shorts.  If fact I think
we've made it into another body." 

"And how would you know that, Miss Turbo Tits?  Have you every
been in the outside world before?"

"Hey, take it easy there pal," Freddy came to Amanda's rescue.

"EASY!" the agnostic screamed.  "We're all going to end up
floating down the drain pipe in tomorrow's rinse cycle, and you
want me to take it easy?"

Frustrated with the lot of them, the agnostic turned and stomped
off.

"Actually, we'd probably be killed before then by the
detergents," Johnny added as they watched him stomp away.

The four had just turned away from watching the stomping agnostic
when they heard a terrifying scream.  They turned and looked on
in horror as the agnostic, who had stomped into what he assumed
was a puddle of water, quickly dissolved as he fell towards the
ground.  The four rushed to the site too late to help the
agnostic.

They stood quietly around the puddle.  Johnny knelt down to
examine it closely.

"So," Herbert asked, "any ideas where we might be, Miss..."

"Amanda.  Nothing definite to go on yet, but I truly believe we
are inside another body."

"How can you be certain?"

"Well, it's only a feeling, but it sort of feels like home in
here, doesn't it?"

"Oh, great!" Herbert exclaimed.  "We're in some guy's rectum."

Freddy took a couple of deep sniffs of the air.  "I don't think
we're in anybody's rectum."

"Well then where are we?" Herbert asked again.

"I think I know where we are."

"Who said that?" Herbert and the others looked about.

"I said it," Johnny replied, he was still kneeling by the puddle
that had silenced that agnostic.

"So where are we, Johnny?"

Johnny motioned for them to kneel down.  They did.  He then
motioned for them to lean in close to him.  They did.  He
motioned for them to lean in even closer.  Freddy was happy to
lean in a lot closer as he rubbed shoulders with Amanda.  Herbert
hesitated from moving in closer and looked at Johnny.  "You
aren't going to just shout in our ears, are you?"  When Johnny
assured him that he wasn't going to do that, Herbert leaned in
closer.

"Now, try and keep your heads on and remain clam, okay?" Johnny
whispered.  The group nodded that they would try and do this. 
Johnny then prepared himself for the moment of a lifetime.  He
cleared his throat.  He wiped the small beads of sweat that were
forming on his forehead.  He heard a soft dry cough.  He noticed
the impatience of the others and nodded.  He made his monumental,
once in a lifetime, speech.

They others knelt and starred at him in bewilderment.

The moment Johnny knew would be the crowning achievement of his
short life was lost on a group of friends who were, it seemed, a
bit to slow on the uptake.

"It's a spermocide," Johnny repeated.

"Sure it's a spremocide.  It killed that loud mouth, didn't it?"

Johnny looked at his old friend and spoke slowly.  "It's real
spermocide."

"Well, it really killed him," Freddy replied with a smile.

"It's female spermocide."

"Female?" the three whispered in near unison.

"Female."

"But the only place you can find female spermocide is in the...."
Freddy's voice trailed off as the import of the last word hit him
full force.

"My God," Amanda whispered.

Finally figuring out the last word Freddy was going to say,
Herbert erupted.  "We're in the womb?!"

The three jumped him and struggled to cover his mouth. Fearfully
they glanced back over at the pile of spilled humanity and liquid
love.  None of the other sperm appeared to have heard the golden
word.  Slowly they released Herbert, while cautioning him to keep
his voice down.

"To bad there's no egg," Freddy lamented as the group sat down a
safe distance from the puddle.

"What makes you so sure about that?"  Herbert asked, remembering
to keep his voice down.

"If there was an egg to be fertilized, you can bet those nasty
spermocide dudes would have been out in full force to defend it
from us."

"I don't think that assumption works here," said Johnny.  "From
what I remember reading in class, most of the spremocides are not
released until the female has reached her orgasm.  It's sort of
her way of conserving the nasty dudes until they're needed after
both of the partners have reached orgasm."

Amanda gave a quick, sort laugh.  "Nothing," she replied with a
giggle to their questions as she remembered the reading she had
done in her formative days.  Wiping a tear from her eye, she
recalled the enlightening text she had read in the book titled,
`Living Female in a Male World.'"

 Johnny continued with his hypothesis.  "Since we were ejected
prematurely.  That is to say, before the male reached orgasm.  It
seems reasonable to assume that the female must also have not
reached orgasm by that time."  He paused as giggles once more
slipped out of Amanda.  He accepted her giggled apology, and
continued.  "Now since the female has not had the chance to reach
orgasm, she has presumably not had the chance to release any of
those nasty spermocides of her's."

 "So you think there might actually be an egg somewhere?"

"Couldn't hurt to look, could it?"

As the four stood, Herbert looked back at the pile of humanity. 
"Do you think we should tell them?"

Freddy quickly grabbed Herbert.  "Have you ever seen a stampede
of over a million sperm hunting for an egg?"

"Well, no."

"Neither have I," Freddy replied and patted him on the shoulder,
"Let's just keep it that way, okay?"

"Okay."

The four headed off, leaving behind them the pile of humanity and
spent love.

"Now what where you giggling about that was so funny, Amanda?"
Freddy asked as he moved over to the lovely brunette.

"Sorry, Freddy," she actually blushed, "but it's a secret just
for us girls." 

He stepped closer and mimicked one of the voices he had often
heard coming from the outside world.  "Ve have vays of making you
talk."

She smiled and replied in the same voice, "And ve have even
better vays, yah?"

"Yah."

"So, what are we going to do about the egg?" Johnny asked,
bringing the group to a sudden halt.

"What do you mean `what are we going to do about the egg'?  We're
going to fertilize it, of course."

"But only one of us can fertilize an egg," Johnny reminded them.

"Well, so maybe there's a couple of eggs waiting to be
fertilized," Freddy stated quickly, not wanting to let his mind
dwell on the mathematics of four sperm encountering one egg,
especially when one was his very best friend, and another was a
very beautiful and funny girl.

"Yeah, right," Herbert remarked.  "And just what are the chances
of that happening?"

Under his breath Johnny mumbled, "Not very good."

"So, what then?" Amanda quietly asked, looking at the others and
fighting the sudden urge to evaluate them as potential rivals. 

"Then we split the egg," Freddy answered, quickly recalling from
his on again, off again attempts at studying the idea of an egg
splitting and ending up with two babies.

"Split an egg?  Do you have any idea how to...how to...split
an... an egg?" Herbert stumbled to the completion of his
sentence, his eyes growing wide in wonder as he looked past the
three and gazed at the far wall.  Herbert began to slowly mumble
in gibberish.

Freddy was beginning to wish it was Herbert who had stomped off
and discovered the puddle of spermocide.

"Herbert?"  Johnny asked as he waved a hand in front of Herbert's
staring face.

The mumbling gibberish grew in volume very quickly.  Suddenly he
exploded past them, his arms waving franticly in the air.  As the
three turned to follow him, they heard him screech out in a
high-pitched tone, "It's mine!  Mine!  All mine!"

The three finished their turn just in time to see Herbert lower
his head and plow straight into and through the protective outer
coating of an egg.  Once inside the egg, Herbert began to dance
around in what he would affectionately call his Whoop-De-Do
dance.

The three, taking in the entire scene that stretched out before
them, causally walked over to Herbert's egg.  Herbert smiled and
thumbed his nose at the three.  Freddy smiled back and pointed
over Herbert's shoulder.  Herbert glanced behind him and his
heart sank.  There, behind his own egg, Herbert saw several more
eggs all waiting to be fertilized.  Freddy tapped on the shell of
the egg and drew Herbert's attention back to him.

Freddy put on one of his meanest tough guy faces he could muster
without cracking up.  "You just wait.  Nine months from now your
little ass is mine."  He turned away and with the others headed
toward the waiting eggs.

"You really aren't going to hurt him, are you?" Amanda asked.

"Nah.  Just teasing him.  I couldn't hurt a fly."

They reached the grouping of eggs.

"Thank God for fertility drugs," Johnny voiced the group's
opinion as they stood before the treasure.  "Well, I guess we
better get in, or Herbert will beat us out of the womb also."

Amanda adjusted the chinstrap on her helmet.  "How do I look?"

"Good enough to fuck."

"Freddy!" Johnny exclaimed.

"What?  It's a compliment.  Right?"

Amanda smiled.  "Right."  

Stepping up to the two, she leaned over and kissed Johnny on the
cheek.  He blushed a bright crimson red as she wished him a safe
journey.  Shuffling his feet on the ground he quietly muttered a
bashful reply of the same to her.  She patted him lightly on the
shoulder as she stood.  Turning her attention to Freddy, she
didn't fight to repress the smile that wanted to burst across her
face when she saw him.

Freddy, true to his nature she realized, was eagerly waiting for
his farewell gift.  She lightly kissed him on the cheek.

He held out his hands and asked, "What? No farewell fuck?"

She shook her head.

"How `bout a bye-bye blowjob?"

Again she shook her head.

"Not even a little French?"

"Freddy, we're related."

"What?  You never heard of kissing cousins?"

"We're sister and brother."

"Yeah, I know," Freddy replied, and eagerly licked his lips. 
"Kinky, isn't it?"

"I'm not into that sort of kink," she replied.

"Well, what kind are you into?"

"You'll just have to find out for yourself, now wont you?" And
with that she slapped him on the buttocks, then turned and ran
into her egg.

"Discipline.  I can do that."

"I think she meant she would be the one in charge and giving the
discipline."

"The girl in charge?"  Freddy looked down at his old friend. 
Putting his arm on his shoulder he lead Johnny toward the other
eggs.  "Johnny, my boy, we need to have us a serious talk about
some facts of life before you get into that egg."

***

Nine months later.

"Whose daddy's little princess?" Norman Finley spoke in the
childish voice that all new parents instinctively use to his
newborn daughter, Amanda, as he continually lifted her high over
his head.  "Whose daddy's little princess?  Are you?  Are you? 
Yes you are."

"Take it easy with her, Norm," Cathy warned as she positioned
Freddy, their other new arrival in her arms.  "She's just been
fed, and she might," Amanda spit up on her father's shirt, "spit
up."

Norman looked at his shirt in disgust as he held his new daughter
away from him.  He heard her little voice squeak with what he
imagined was childish glee.  Glancing up, he saw her smiling a
happy, content little smile at him.  Her large brown eyes were
pure innocence.

"That a girl, Amanda!" Freddy shouted, although to the new
parents it sounded more like, `Whaaa!'.  "Show that dummy.  The
four of us packed in there like sardines, and this bozo wants to
stick his head in.  Damn!  You just wait till you try and pick me
up.  I'll show you what spit up is all about.  And another thing,
if I ever find that nurse who spanked me, look out!  That's child
abuse, man.  You hear...hey! what do you think you're doing lady?
 I'm trying to have a conversation here.  I'm...mmm...mmm.  Hey!
that tastes good."  
 



Please direct all comments and/or remarks to 
Aquillae@excite.com


------------------------------------------------
Join Excite! - http://www.excite.com
The most personalized portal on the Web!


------- ASSM Moderation System Notice--------
This post has been reformatted by the ASSM
Moderation Team due to inadequate formatting.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> |
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html>  Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}|
|Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org>      |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+