Message-ID: <37324asstr$1026735003@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <stasya@counsellor.com> X-Original-Message-ID: <20020715071935.15924.qmail@iname.com> Content-Transfer-Encoding: binary From: "Stasya Canine" <stasya@counsellor.com> X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Mon, 15 Jul 2002 02:19:35 -0500 Subject: {ASSM} RP - Simile Sally - MF 'bad metaphor challenge' - Stasya T. Canine Date: Mon, 15 Jul 2002 08:10:04 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37324> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, IceAltar per Souvie's request in ASSD. <vbg> -- __________________________________________________________ Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service. http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8 <1st attachment, "simile-sally.txt" begin> OK, here's how this one got started. The following list was posted to alt.sex.stories.d: --- From: dennyw at zipcon.net Subject: {ASSD} Wonderfully Bad Metaphors & Similes Date: Sun, 26 Dec 1999 05:55:57 GMT The Top 20 Bad Romance Novel Metaphors or Similes 20 His body was hard -- not hard like Milosevic, the Serbian strongman, but hard like the marble on your shower floor, when you fall and bang your knee. 19 Her shoulders heaved like the tiny sobs of Snuggles the cat being run through with a roasting spit. 18 Her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old roadkill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun. 17 Her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling like a cockroach in a sugar bowl. 16 As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he felt his Amalgamated Crane Company stock increasing in value. 15 Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog. 14 ...then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn. 13 Her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed nipples were like hypodermics washed up on the shore. 12 With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a yield sign -- yet she could NOT! 11 He tore open her blouse like a Publisher's Clearing House letter in which he, and some guy named Steven Bouber from Stockton, California, were potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize. 10 His manhood stood at full attention, stiff and stony like the vice president. 9 Sleekly malevolent, driven by a violent hunger, Donovan glided through the chum-filled waters of the singles bar, oblivious to the remora of Annabelle's adoring gaze. 8 Like the wind, she ran, her breasts lurching like a motor boat over a wake, and then, as fluid as a fine imported transmission, she whipped out her man-organ and pissed away his dreams. 7 Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he moved his face toward her happy meal. 6 With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner. 5 He Beatty-ed her shamelessly, making her squeal like Ned and hallucinate like Warren. 4 He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin latte. "Starbuck!" I cried. 3 His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool. 2 Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower. and Topfive.com's Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Metaphor or Simile... 1 His finger, weathered and rough from years on the ranch, danced in and out of his nose like a slimy ballerina.(By Chris White) --------- Then Denny tossed out a challenge. Write a story using ALL of those... Well, I did. --- Simile Sally by Stasya T. Canine --- Sleekly malevolent, driven by a violent hunger, Donovan glided through the chum-filled waters of the singles bar, oblivious to the remora of Annabelle's adoring gaze. Annabelle smiled as she tippy-toed past the drunks while on her way to meet Donovan. She was very impressed with him. His body was hard -- not hard like Milosevic, the Serbian strongman, but hard like the marble on your shower floor, when you fall and bang your knee. She shivered as she remembered their first time together. 'I'll never forget how he awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin latte. "Starbuck!" I cried.' As the two of them snuck towards their illicit rendezvous in the public toilet, Donovan savored his memories of the last time they met. Just remembering her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old roadkill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun. As they met and savored their illicit meeting, Annabelle smiled coyly as her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling like a cockroach in a sugar bowl. Her shoulders heaved like the tiny sobs of Snuggles the cat being run through with a roasting spit as she thought of what he was about to do to her. She murmurred words of endearment as his finger, weathered and rough from years on the ranch, danced in and out of his nose like a slimy ballerina. Lost in a haze of lust, she stared at him and hungered for his body. With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a yield sign -- yet she could NOT! Donovan smiled knowingly at her hesitation. He tore open her blouse like a Publisher's Clearing House letter in which he, and some guy named Steven Bouber from Stockton, California, were potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize. He waited and watched as her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed nipples were like hypodermics washed up on the shore. Grinning at her flirting ways, he waited until his manhood stood at full attention, stiff and stony like the vice president... then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn. He laughed as Annabelle grinned up him with lust in her eyes. As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he felt his Amalgamated Crane Company stock increasing in value. Finally, as they fell towards the floor where the tiles gleamed like the misty pictures taken by Hubble's blind eye, he Beatty-ed her shamelessly, making her squeal like Ned and hallucinate like Warren. "On your knees," he commanded harshly. Willingly, she complied. Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he moved his face toward her happy meal. Eyes glazed, she felt herself drawn into her orgasm. With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner. Satiated, they rolled over and relaxed together. His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool. "Soon?" She whispered in his ear. He nodded. Half-asleep, he was awakened by a spiked heel in his groin. Looking through barely open eyes he realized that Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog. Fully awake at the chance to satisfy himself again, he chased her out into the alley. Like the wind, she ran, her breasts lurching like a motor boat over a wake, and then, as fluid as a fine imported transmission, she whipped out her man-organ and pissed away his dreams. He sighed. Frustrated, he stalked back into the bar. Without paying attention to what she looked like, he grabbed the first woman he saw and started carrying her to the toilet. "You're coming with me." He growled. Lost in a boozy haze, Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower. "Maybe he's the one," she thought to herself as she puked down his back. --- Stasya T. Canine December 26, 1999 Effective August 9, 2001: I, Stasya T. Canine, release the work 'Simile Sally' to the public domain. <1st attachment end> ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice------ Notice: This post has been modified from its original format. The post was sent as an email attachment and has been converted by ASSTR ASSM moderation software. ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice------ -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> | | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+