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From: emi_tsuruta@hotmail.com (Emi Tsuruta)
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X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Wed, 03 Jul 2002 21:24:14 GMT
Subject: {ASSM} Back home in Japan {Emi Tsuruta} (f, no sex, exhib)
Date: Thu,  4 Jul 2002 03:10:03 -0400
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Hi again. It's sooooo hot out these days in Oceanview. Now that my
cold is better, I finally got to go out with Ryosuke and have a good
time. Last weekend, we played a bit of tennis, went shopping and went
walking in the park, but besides that we haven't done too much I
guess. We've been talking about going to the beach though.

I still haven't told you about all the stuff I did when I was back in
Japan. I kind of kept a diary while I was there so I'd be able to tell
everyone all about it when I got back.

Before I left, I was sort of thinking that this would be a good
opportunity to calm down, and try to decide how I felt about this
stuff that Ryosuke and I have been getting into - you know, like,
fooling around outdoors or whatever. Still, even on the flight over, I
was already beginning to have second thoughts about the whole idea of
going home. Part of it was Ryosuke. I'd gotten so used to having him
around. A couple of times when I was walking around, I'd see someone
who looked like him, and then I'd go up to them and realize it wasn't
him.

But another part of it was me. I don't know. This spring had been kind
of exciting. It was crazy too, but it was like I would wake up every
morning, and I wouldn't be sure what was going to happen that day. My
life in Japan hadn't really been like that; it was more normal if you
know what I mean. I'm not saying it was boring or anything, but it was
just that during these last two years in the States, I think I've
changed a bit. Maybe I'm more grown up, more self-confident or
something, but especially this last trip home, I felt like I could do
things that I'd never been able to do before. Well, anyway, I'll tell
you about it and then you'll see what I mean.

When I got to Narita airport, I phoned my mom, but dad wasn't home
from work yet so I had to get back to Kamakura (where my parents live)
by myself. When I finally got there, my mom was all excited to see me,
but I was all tired out from the long flight so I just talked with her
a little bit and then had a shower and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up at something like three a.m. I tried to go
back to sleep, but I kept opening my eyes again. I wasn't sleepy at
all. The house was so quiet. My mom and dad must have been fast
asleep. I didn't know what else to do, so I went downstairs, and made
myself some breakfast. There was nothing on TV so I started looking
through my old stuff. I found some old clothes and books and other
stuff that reminded me of my childhood.

Around 4:30 or so the sun came up, so I had a shower, and got dressed.
My mom and dad were still asleep, so I decided to go out for a walk
and see my old neighborhood. It wasn't cloudy or anything, but I felt
a bit chilly so I took a jersey with me.

My house is on a hill, and I noticed that they've built a whole bunch
of houses on the hill across from where I live.  It used to be all
trees.  I walked down into the valley where the main road is. There
didn't seem to be much traffic. I guess it doesn't really get busy
till summer starts. There's a beach not too far from my house, and
some temples and a big Buddha so we usually get a lot of tourists in
the summer. Still, it's a small town by Japanese standards and pretty
quiet most of the year.

I walked along the main road a little ways, and a few cars went by. I
decided to go to this temple that I used to go to on New Year's Eve
when I was a kid. It's not too far from my house and just a little
ways off the main road. The entrance is surrounded by trees, and you
have to walk up a whole bunch of stone steps to get to the temple. I
think there are a hundred and eight steps all together. When my
grandmother was in the hospital, I once ran up and down these stairs
in my bare feet over and over again to pray for her to get better.
You're not supposed to let anyone see you so I did it at night. It
ended up raining and I got soaked, but it must have worked because she
got better pretty soon after that.

I climbed up to the top, and walked around the temple grounds a bit.
The temple building was all locked up, but there is a very large
courtyard, a rock garden and an observation deck where you can look
out over the bay. I sat down on one of the picnic benches on the
observation deck. I could see the whole town spread out in front of me
and beyond that, the beach and the bay. I couldn't really see any
movement. Most people were probably still asleep.

I fished out the locket Ryosuke gave me from inside the collar of my
jersey. I wondered what Ryosuke was doing thousands of miles away. The
temple reminded me a bit of the Japanese garden where Ryosuke and I
used to go on my university campus back in California. I suddenly
remembered the last time we had been there, the feel of his warm lips
kissing me, his gentle caress. I felt a vague pang of regret at having
come to Japan without him. I wished he was there sitting there in the
temple with me.

I walked over to the fountain. I dipped my hands in, and then splashed
some on my face. That's supposed to bring you good luck. I realized
that my whole body was hot, but I wasn't sure why.

I walked over to the top of the stairs, and took off my shoes and
socks.  The large stone step was cold on my feet, but it was a good
cold.  It would help me calm down.  I left my shoes there, and ran
down to the bottom of the steps. I glanced down the laneway back
towards the main road, but it was so quiet.  I walked in the shade of
the trees out to the main road, stepping on a few pebbles on the way,
but there were no cars at all. I'd forgotten my watch, but it had to
be at least five a.m.  Was my neighborhood always this quiet in the
morning?  I sat down by the roadside to wait for cars, but none came.
All I could hear was the rustling of the leaves and the cry of
seagulls in the distance.

I was beginning to get this strange feeling inside. It's hard to
describe it. Sort of like butterflies in my stomach or jittery nerves.
I could feel the soft fabric of my jersey brushing against my breasts,
my jeans tightly hugging my hips. The cool air felt so nice on my
bare. An image crept into my mind of me taking off my clothes. I shook
my head to clear it. What on earth am I thinking? I began walking up
back up the stairs, but the feeling wouldn't go away.

By the time, I reached the top of the stairs I was breathing heavily.
I sat down next to my shoes, and tried to clear my head. This is
crazy, I thought. I can hardly strip naked in the middle of a temple
even if there is no one around. With a strong effort of will, I put my
shoes back on and walked home. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep
getting to me.
 
My parents still weren't up when I got back, but I must have woke them
because I began to hear noises coming from their room.  I sat in the
dining room, drinking juice till my mom came down. After I saw her, I
began to calm down a little. I wonder what had come over me.

After my dad went out, I tried his computer, but my mom kept coming
into the room so I couldn't write an email to Ryosuke. My dad's
computer is so slow; I couldn't even get connected to the internet. I
decided to get my old cellphone working again so I could use the email
on that. We called the phone company, and asked them to start it up
again. We also called Norika to say hi, but I couldn't very well ask
her about what had happened that morning with my mom listening. As I
told you, a couple of letters ago, Norika said something about
swimming with her boyfriend which got me thinking about all the times
I'd caught her naked.

Late afternoon, all of a sudden I got so sleepy I couldn't keep my
eyes open. I had another shower and went to bed even though it was
still light out. Tomorrow, I'll try to stay up later, I told myself.

That night I dreamed about Ryosuke. He had come to Japan, and we were
visiting that temple together. It must have been New Year's or
something because the temple was crowded with people. He leaned over
to me, and whispered,

"Take off your kimono." 

I was shocked.

"What? Take it off, here?" I asked. We were right in the middle of the
crowd with everyone standing around waiting for their turn to ring the
temple bell. I looked at them nervously, but for some reason I started
to do as he asked. I undid the belts, and took the kimono off layer by
layer, handing each one to him as I did. Soon, I was standing there
completely naked in the middle of this crowded temple surrounded by my
friends and neighbours. All I had on were these little white socks and
ornate slippers. I was holding an arrow in my hand, which we had
bought from the temple for good luck. In the dream, I felt so ashamed
I wanted to hide, but when I woke up, my heart was pounding. It took
me a long time to calm down.

I looked at the clock. It was still only 3:30 in the morning.  I tried
to go back to sleep, but I couldn't stop thinking about the dream. I
went downstairs to get a drink of water, and realized I was too wide
awake to go back to sleep. I had some breakfast and a shower, and got
dressed.

In my dresser, I found this colorful sundress I used to wear in the
summers sometimes.  It reminds me of Hawaii a bit. I put on my bra and
panties, and then slipped the dress on over my head. I also picked out
this long-sleeved white terrycloth pullover with a hood Ryosuke bought
for me a while back.  It's nice and soft and reminds me of him.  I
tried my cellphone, but it still didn't work. I guess it takes a few
days. I put it in my backpack anyway along with my umbrella, and went
back downstairs.

It was still dark out, but I decided I didn't want to wait. I didn't
know why, but I felt I had to go and see the temple again. Of course I
knew the dream couldn't be true. Ryosuke was still in the U.S. for one
thing. But somehow I just had to go and check.

I put my running shoes on my bare feet, and tied them up tight. I went
out, carefully shut the door, and locked it trying to make sure mom
and dad didn't hear me. My keys kind of jangled in the pocket of my
dress so I took them out and put them in my backpack. I shivered a bit
from the cold. Maybe I should have worn my tracksuit from when I was
in swimming club.

It took my eyes a while to get used to the darkness. There aren't many
streetlights where I live, and it was pretty cloudy out. As I walked
down the hill toward the main road, it started to get kind of misty. I
haven't really been out that much this late at night, but maybe it's
always like that. I saw lights coming down the road, and then a car
went by, but then it was quiet again. I crossed the road and walked
till I came to the laneway where the temple was. It was kind of dark
under the trees. I found the stairway though. I could hear something
that sounded like a frog croaking, but otherwise it was pretty quiet.
I always thought of my area as a big town, but maybe it is the
countryside, like some people say.

I walked up the stairs peering into the trees on either side. It's
kind of scary at night, because you can't see anything, but then again
if there is anyone there, they probably can't see me either. My
neighborhood is pretty safe though. Kids play out on the street till
quite late at night. I've never heard of anything happening to anyone.

One I got up to the courtyard, I felt better. There were a few breaks
in the clouds where I could see the stars. I walked over to the
observation deck again. The town looked so quiet. Everyone must be
asleep except for me. I sat down and took out my cellphone again. I
wish I could call Ryosuke or at least send him an email. I wonder what
he would say if I told him about the dream.

I looked around at the temple grounds. It didn't really look like the
dream. The lookout was the same, but in the dream, everything looked
so well kept. Maybe it was just the lighting, but now the temple
looked kind of rough, like no one had been here for a while.

I put the cellphone in my pocket, and walked to the railing. I could
hear the leaves rustling in the breeze, and then I realized it was
starting to rain. The phone felt heavy in my pocket. Then the wind
started to blow my hair in my face, and I could feel little drops of
rain on my hands and face. I scrambled under the eaves of the temple
as it started to rain. I squatted down, took my umbrella out of my
backpack and opened it up.

I crouched there, pulled my hair back and looked out at the storm. You
could kind of see the wind making little waves with the droplets of
rain as it came down. I could no longer hear the cars or the frog over
the sound of the wind and rain. No one would come here, not at this
time, in this weather. I was sure I was alone.

I began to get that feeling again - like I wanted to take my clothes
off. I could feel the butterflies flitting around in my stomach. I
stood up and tried to think of something else. I walked out to the top
of the steps, and once more remembered the time I had climbed the
steps over and over for my grandmother. It had rained that day too,
but the rain hadn't bothered me.

I sat down on the step, set down my umbrella and took off my shoes.
Maybe I could pray for Ryosuke to come here to Japan to see me. No,
no, that would never happen. Maybe I'll just pray that he finds a good
summer job. I picked up the umbrella again, and ran down the steps
leaving my shoes there. The steps were pretty slippery and harder on
my feet than the morning before. Still I made it down and all the way
up again with no problem. I just sort of stared at my shoes for a
while. I wonder why you're supposed to take off your shoes anyway.

I ran my fingers along my bum, feeling the panties through the
material. No, that would be too crazy. Then I remembered that time at
my aunt's house when I had got caught in just a t-shirt. At least this
dress is longer than the t-shirt.

I moved back from the steps and stood in the shade of the trees.  I
set the umbrella down again, and huddled up close next to the tree. I
reached up inside my skirt, fiddling to find the waistband. I began to
feel really guilty for even thinking of such a thing, but I finally
got a hold of the waistband, and started to pull it down over the
curve of my bum. As my panties slipped away from my skin, I felt a
rush as the air first made contact with my most sensitive place. The
breeze tickled as I pulled them down and off. I crouched down and put
my panties away in my backpack, but my heart started to race as I
spread my legs apart.  I kind of wanted to touch myself, but held
myself back.

Half in a haze now, I put my backpack back on, picked up my umbrella
and stood up. I couldn't feel the rain anymore, only the soft touch of
the breeze between my legs. I stepped over towards the stairs, peering
anxiously into the darkness to see if there was anyone below. I slowly
walked down the first few steps, pulling down on my dress, which all
of a sudden seemed so very short.  Step by step, I drew closer to the
bottom, back into the mist.  The rain had cleared the air a bit, but I
still couldn't see very far.

I jumped as I heard the screech of car tires. As soon as I reached the
bottom, I ran back up and got my shoes. As I squatted down to put them
on, I spread my legs and let the skirt ride up till I could see my
soft fluffy pubic hair glistening in the dim light. Maybe I better put
my panties back on. This is crazy.  I stood up letting the skirt fall
back down.

I peered down the stairs into the mist, but there was still no sign of
anyone. I walked down cautiously sweeping my eyes back and forth
through the trees looking for a sign of that car. I wonder if they saw
me. I kept thinking I should go back and put my panties back on, but
instead I just kept on walking.

I got to the bottom, and walked out the lane to the main road. A car
drove up and almost blinded me with its headlights. It went straight
on by. I quickly pulled my dress down as far as it would go. It had
ridden up a bit on the stairs. I walked along the main road, and a few
more cars went by. My heart was pounding like crazy, as the cool night
air licked at my privates.

I started climbing the hill that led back to my house. The sky grew
lighter as the sun started to rise. I ran the last few blocks and
hurried inside, terrified that someone would see me.  When I got in
the door, I felt relieved but then realized that my parents might be
up by now so I quickly got my panties out of my backpack and put them
on. Only gradually did my heart start to slow back down to normal.

Let me tell you, it felt really strange when my parents came down.
Inside, I felt happy almost exhilarated that I had got away with this
little adventure, but I didn't want it to show so I got ready and went
out again.  I decided to go see my friend Michiyo (the one who went to
the fireworks with me).  Japanese university wasn't out yet, but I
knew her cellphone number so I gave her a call and met her in Tokyo on
campus.  She looked the same as ever, with the long hair, long bangs
and long skirts.  She seemed really glad to see me.

She gave me the grand tour of her campus.  I sat in with her for one
of her classes. She sits right up at the front and takes very careful
notes, but didn't really talk with any of her classmates.  She always
was pretty shy.

After class, I was burning to tell her about my little adventure that
morning, but I realized that I'd probably have to tell her all about
Ryosuke too, and maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea because she
doesn't have a boyfriend yet.  Instead, I invited her to go out
shopping.  I guess you don't know Tokyo at all, but we went to this
area called Shibuya, where they have a whole bunch of shops selling
fashions for women our age.  

When we got there, it had changed a bit. They've rebuilt the whole
station, and right by the main intersection, now there's this
seven-storey video rental shop with a Starbucks on the second floor.
As usual, everyone was dressed in the latest fashions - baby doll
style tops, skirts over bellbottom blue jeans, hip hang slacks.  I
wanted to buy some clothes to take back with me to the States,
preferably something sexy for my dates with Ryosuke.

We crossed the street and walked along Center Street, but there were
kind of these guys watching us and checking us out.  Michiyo looked a
bit nervous, but I was kind of enjoying the attention. I took off my
pullover to give them a better look at my shoulders and back, which my
sundress didn't cover.  A pair of guys started coming over towards us,
but Michiyo grabbed my arm, and pulled me along towards one of the big
department stores.

This particular department store is so expensive there was almost no
one in there. I didn't plan to buy anything there, but Michiyo wanted
to look around.  We each picked out some slacks and took them to the
change rooms.

I guess I haven't told you about this yet, but one time back in
Oceanview, Ryosuke and I went shopping for swimsuits.  Somehow he
talked me into trying on this ultra high leg one piece. I came out of
the dressing room, and not only Ryosuke, but also the sales clerk and
even the people walking by outside all stopped to stare because you
could see almost my whole bum.  There was just this thin strand of
material running up the crack. Somehow he managed to talk me into
taking it, but when I went back to get changed he snuck into the
changing room with me.  I took off the suit, and Ryosuke got all
excited, but it was just too dangerous. In the end, I put my clothes
back on and we left without doing anything, but let me tell you, I was
pretty excited.

Anyway, when I got into the change room, I all of a sudden started
thinking about Ryosuke.  I started to put on the first pair of slacks,
but decided that my dress was in the way so I took it off.  The slacks
fit all right, but they were made of this funny material like velvet
or something and were incredibly expensive.

"Michiyo, how are yours?"

"Oh, I don't know. They're a bit tight."

"Here let me see." On top, I was wearing just a bra, so I picked up my
pullover intending to put it on, but instead just held it against my
chest with one arm.  I pulled back the curtain and stepped into the
hall, but Michiyo was the only one there. The salesclerk had gone off
somewhere. Michiyo was looking down at her own slacks, but when she
looked up at me, she gasped.

"What are you doing?"

I felt self-conscious, but still too frisky from remembering that time
with Ryosuke.

"They look fine to me," I said ignoring her question. "Turn around."

She did, and I could see what she was complaining about. They were
pretty tight around her hips and bum.

"C'mon, let's try another store."

I took her to a small fashion shop that I'd read about.  On the rack,
the clothes look normal enough, but actually, when you try them on,
they look pretty sexy.  For example, some of the jeans have tears in
the seat of them, or zipper up in the back.  We each picked out a few
pairs to try on.  She chose the hip hang kind, you know, the ones that
you can't really pull up all the way, so people can kind of see your
hip bones and maybe even the crack of your bum.  I took a pair too to
try just for fun.

I went into the change booth, pulled my dress over my head and tried
on the jeans. The waist was so low that you could see my underwear, so
I took them off again pulling off my underwear with them. For no
particular reason, I took off my bra as well.  I could hear the other
customers talking just on the other side of the curtain. It felt weird
to be naked not more than a few yards from the street.  Wouldn't they
be surprised if I walked out just like this with nothing on? I stood
there musing for a while, and then finally remembered the jeans.  I
slipped them on. My bum tingled as I slid them over it. I could feel
the seam brushing back and forth between my legs when I moved.

There was no mirror in the booth so I put my pullover on, and went
back out into the shop.  I found the mirror, and pulled my top up to
get a better look.  They were so low at the front; you could almost
see my pubic hair sticking out from over the top.  I nervously
adjusted them, till I realized there was this guy watching me.  He
must have been waiting for his girlfriend or something because he was
holding a couple of new shopping bags from women's shops.  He reminded
me a bit of Ryosuke, especially the way he was trying to look so
serious even though he was evidently excited by my jeans.  I pulled up
my top even more and started posing in the mirror showing off my
bellybutton and flat tummy.  Not quite on purpose, my hand slipped
under my top, and brushed against my breast.  I was beginning to get
excited.

Michiyo came out, and I let the top fall back down.  I breathed out
deeply.  I have to be careful or I'm really going to do something I
regret one of these days.

Michiyo had pulled her jeans up as far as they would go, bending them
into kind of a strange shape.  I have to admit she looked pretty
risque. The skin of her midriff was so white.  She still had her
underwear on, but she'd pushed it down to match the waist of the
jeans.

"You can buy special hip hang underwear too," I told her.  She was
blushing a deep red, and tilting her head down to hide her eyes.
"Other than that, you look great."  She didn't believe me, but anyway
to humor me, she ended up buying a pair too.  I suggested that we both
wear them out of the store, but she wasn't willing to go that far.  I
didn't have a top to wear anyway, so I changed back into my dress.  We
went for a coffee in Starbucks, and then headed home.

I still haven't told you half the stuff I wanted to, and this is
already getting pretty long so I better stop here for today.  I will
try to write again soon.  Till then, all the best,

Emi Tsuruta
emi_tsuruta@hotmail.com

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