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Message-ID: <36132asstr$1018998601@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: "H. Jekyll" <h_jekyll2000@yahoo.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} "The Interview," FF, cons., oral
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2002 19:10:01 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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"The Interview"

H. Jekyll

(FF, cons, oral, reminiscence) 


Copyright 2001 by H. Jekyll.  Permission is freely
granted to post on any site that does not charge for
entrance, as long as proper attribution is given to
the author.  The story should not be read by anyone
under the legal age to read sexually explicit stories,
or by anyone in a location where it is illegal to read
such stories.  

I appreciate comments and inquiries, even criticisms. 
Yes I do.  Please send them to: 
h_jekyll2000@yahoo.com

The H. Jekyll stories are archived at: 
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/h_jekyll/

This story first appeared at "Ruthie's Club"
(http://ruthiesclub.com/), where a formatted and
illustrated version can be found.

*  *  *  *  *

"Interview"


Why do you want me to tell you about a first time,
Henry? Typical man. Want a gay girl story to get
yourself hard, huh?

Oh sure, like it's really going to help your writing.
Yeah, that's the ticket. Well, why do you want it to
be about her, Henry? There have been several women.
Why her?

Henry, be serious for a minute. Friend or not, that's
pretty personal stuff you're asking about.

I know that. A first time is special, and different.
It's also the most private. Look, I don't really feel
comfortable about this. You've known her as long as I
have. Why not just interview her directly? You know
she has this little crush on you.

No, not just as her "guy" friend.

Because I can read the signs, that's how. Who knows?
She might even let you fuck her. (laughs)

All right. I'll do it, but damn it Henry you keep
pushing like this and one day you're going to push me
too far. Okay, yes I was the first woman who ever
sexed her. I might be the only one. I think I am the
only one, and it almost didn't happen at all.

Why? Well, partly because she was so unsure of what
she wanted and so afraid. That's always part of the
puzzle. It didn't help, though, that I was wearing my
Brando outfit. You know, the captain's hat, black
leather jacket, black jeans, black boots.

Well why shouldn't it be Brando? You know I'm a
fifties sort of girl.

Oh cut it out! (laughs) I am not like that all the
time. You know I'm like that woman-what's her name?-in
the comic strip, the one who's a mousy little thing
most of the time, but once in a while takes on this
biker persona. No, not "Cathie." (laughs uproariously)

You yourself never would have guessed my alter ego if
you hadn't bumped into me at that rave. It just
happens that I was butched up nicely when I met her,
and she probably took me to be Satan incarnate.
Luckily for me she was looking for Satan. Or Lilith.

Why was I attracted to her? Why are you attracted to
anyone?

Well, because she reminded me of myself when I
first-what? Just a second. No thanks. I'm fine. Where
was I? She reminded me of myself when I first came
over.

Henry, this life wasn't something I was born knowing
about. I was so very normal. Well, I was married, I
had two kids, and I was pretty happy. I liked sex with
my husband, with Brian, okay. There weren't often
fireworks, but it was nice.

Okay, yeah, sometimes there were even fireworks, but
mainly I thought I was just one of those women who
aren't very interested in sex. I wanted to please
Brian because I loved him, and I think I was a good
lover to him. I know I was.

No, it wasn't like that at all. Losing him was almost
as hard as losing my children. That was the hardest
part of becoming me. You know, things are never like
you think they're going to be when you're young.
(makes a really sad sigh)

He was a dear man. He is a dear man. Let me tell you.
I knew I was going to lose the kids in the divorce,
and then, bam, he insisted that the decree say that I
could see them whenever I wanted to. He went against
his attorney's advice to do it.

Yes, and I still see him sometimes, too. We have an
odd relationship. It's about as good as it could be
under the circumstances, I think. I'll tell you a
secret, something no one but he and I know. We've even
sexed a few times. Yes we have! But don't you dare
tell anyone that or you're a dead sex writer.

I thought we were going to talk about her.

* * * * *

Okay. She was sitting at one of the small, round
tables on the edge of the room, not looking directly
at anyone but peeking all around. She was dressed in
her "oh-so-femme" best. I knew she'd never been to
anyplace like this before.

Well, because that's how I'd dressed and acted my
first time. I was scared to death, Henry, trying to
look like I fit in, afraid someone would hit on me but
wanting someone to at the same time. I scarcely talked
with anyone, and it was weeks before I went back.

Yeah. (laughs) I know that's hard to believe, but it
took me a long time to come out of my cocoon. Anyway,
that's what she was like. Not a baby. More like a sad
housewife. A little mousy under her makeup and
somewhere in her thirties.

You're a bastard, Henry! Yes, I desired her. I told
you that. So I said I was "attracted" to her. How
explicit do I have to be? But I felt for her, too. I'm
not some kind of predator, even in my dykey persona.

Oh, okay, yes, I was turned on by the idea of it being
her first time. Who's telling this story, you or me? I
also thought I could make it sweet and loving for her,
and get her past that threshold.

She was like me in that she was alone and was trying
not to look like a newbie. She didn't know anyone,
just nursed a single drink and pretended to watch the
dancing. You know some woman come in here with their
friends, playing "tourist," but then come back later,
alone. It helps them get an idea of what the place is
like. Not her, though. Not a chance. She had made
herself up and screwed up her courage and just came on
in. She had to be as miserable as anyone can be.

Because she wanted to make that transition but was
afraid to do it. You know, that old approach-avoidance
behavior. Henry, for a social scientist you sometimes
seem pretty much out of it.

She wouldn't have been there at all if she weren't
pretty driven. Trying to become what everyone
despises. If she was like I'd been, she was confused
about herself and afraid that life was going to pass
her by. Trapped. (a pause; her voice becomes quiet,
pensive)

When I turned I felt so trapped. I cried whenever I
was alone because my whole life seemed to be a fraud.

I began to hate it when Brian wanted sex, and after
awhile this became an issue between us. At first he
thought it was his fault, then he wondered if I were
having an affair. As if ... you know it would probably
have been better if I had.

* * * * * 

Eventually I'm going to have to tell you about my
whole coming out, aren't I? Do you always get your
way? (laughs; her smile looks too bright to me, the
kind one uses to push down sad thoughts)

Well, no, you're not going to get that, but if you did
I promise it would be the best loving you ever had.
(laughs loudly)

I'll tell you Henry. Yes. But it's a little hard for
me, Henry, even though we're friends. Please stop
teasing, okay?

* * * * *

Okay, I was in my early thirties and knew next to
nothing about lesbianism. I didn't even know if I knew
any. I was so naive. Living in a university community,
with degrees and political friends and alternative
shops and all, it now seems impossible that I would
have missed everything going on around me. There was
even a little radical-lesbian-feminist bookstore that
I walked past all the time, and I don't think I ever
paid it any attention at all.

What happened to me was nothing. It was so minor. No
one I've told about it believes it could possibly have
been the start, but it was.

Remember "LA Law"? Well, I was watching it and saw the
episode where the two women attorneys kissed. It was
like boom. It just happened. I remember being so
struck by it. Everything changed for me right then.
You know how people say someone is "thunderstruck?"
Well I was.

Yes, I've seen "Ally McBeal" and "Friends." All that
lesbo-hetero kissing seems so manipulated, though, for
sweeps week or something. "LA Law" was the first of
them, and I'd never have believed that it could
happen. It took me by surprise. Yes it did. It was
like I was thrown up against a wall or something.

I remember everything, Henry. The way I was sitting,
what I was wearing, all of it. I watched the rest of
the show, hoping against hope they'd do something
more. Of course they didn't. This was TV, for goodness
sakes. All they were going to do was tease.
Nonetheless...

I remember getting irritated when they broke for
commercials. I was so turned on that night that I
attacked Brian, something I never did, but the whole
time we were fucking I was fantasizing that it was
with a woman.

No, I don't think I had ever had any desire for women
before that. That's the strange thing. Believe me I've
thought about it a lot. I must have been ready in some
way, but I didn't know I was. It's one of the ways I'm
different I guess. I've talked with friends who came
out after they were adults, some who hadn't been at
all gay before, and all of them went through more of a
progression, even had some childhood or teenage
feelings, but not me. It was like I was hit by
lightening.

Anyway, I couldn't stop thinking about it. What was it
like to sleep with a woman? What was it like to feel
her body? I had to know more.

I had heard about "Personal Best," with Mariel
Hemingway.

No, this was a few years after the movie came out. No
pun intended. So I rented it one day when I knew I
would be alone in the house. This was before Internet
sex became available. That early scene in the movie,
where the two of them kiss and then start to make love
... I couldn't get enough of it. I kept playing it and
rewinding. It was like I went crazy over it.

Henry, I've never told a living soul this, but I
started masturbating and coming. I almost never did
either back then. I did it over and over. God, my
vagina all around my clitoris got so raw that for
about three days afterwards I had to keep it slathered
with petroleum jelly. This is so embarrassing. Why do
I tell you these things?

I rented other movies, looking for explicit sex, and I
began searching out books. That's when I first visited
that little lesbian bookstore where I first saw a
poster for the club. I came here about a week later,
because Brian was away at a conference. Like I told
you, I basically kept to myself the first time.

The second time was about three months later. I was
crazy with hating myself and not knowing about myself
and wanting a woman to love-any woman. I had thoughts
of killing myself. (she stops talking and puts her
face down into her hands for a moment; I'm tempted to
try to comfort her, but I think she just wants to be
alone with her thoughts for a moment)

Henry, seriously, if you ever told anyone I couldn't
forgive you. I couldn't. (she takes a deep breath)

Once I was there I tried to act like I was open to
people, but I still didn't know what to do. It didn't
matter because in a little bit I was picked up by the
most amazing woman. No, you wouldn't know her. She
just walked up to my table and said, "Hello, I'm Amy."
Just like that.

No, it's not that Amy. It isn't even her real name. A
lot of people still use nyms in here. What? No! She
wasn't extreme at all. Just because I like to play
roles doesn't mean that everyone does.

Okay, I know you're teasing, Henry, but please don't.
Not now. I'm trying to do this for you, but it's
awfully hard. Just let me tell it my way.

Okay. Okay. I'm not angry.

Anyway, as I said, she sat down, as comfortable as
anyone could be, and started talking. That helped me a
little. Then, in a few minutes, she put her hand on my
arm. It seems so silly now, such a little thing, but
when she did that I couldn't say anything at all. It
was like I was under a spell. I wasn't completely sure
she was going to do anything with me, and I was afraid
I might drive her away, so I didn't even move.

She asked me if I wanted to dance. There was a slow
number playing. She took my hand and just kind of
pulled me up. On the dance floor she took the lead, so
it was easy for me.

But oh my God it wasn't the same. It wasn't like
dancing with a man at all. She was shorter than me,
and soft all around. It's hard to explain exactly what
the difference was, there are so many things. They
make it completely different. The thing that struck me
then, and that stays with me after all this time, was
the way our breasts pushed against each other. Even
though I was still half terrified, I didn't want that
ever to end. I kept pushing up against her, and after
a couple of minutes she brought both of her arms down
to my waist and just reeled me in.

Oh Lord. (she is silent for several seconds)

I had both arms around her neck, and then she started
kissing me. She just leaned over and did it.

No, it wasn't hard for me at all.

* * * * *

That was the first difference from the story you want
to hear. In that one we didn't kiss on the dance
floor. I did sit with her and invited her to dance,
and she said yes. But she was stiff in my arms. When I
tried to kiss her she turned her head aside, just far
enough so that I got the edge of her mouth, not her
lips.

I thought maybe she wasn't interested in me, but when
I asked if she'd like to sit down she said 'no' and
held on to me. I didn't know what was going on with
her. It was much later before she let me kiss her, and
she finally did let me touch tongues.

No. I never thought she didn't truly want to be there.
Why would she be? Orders from her master? (laughs) She
was completely uncertain, scared to death about what
she was doing.

* * * * *

Myself, when I first kissed Amy I was filled with
pleasure from the start. The kissing was different.
Her mouth wasn't at all like a man's, so much smaller
and smoother. Not big and scratchy like yours would
be. We kissed with just our lips until the song ended,
then we stood on the dance floor kissing and sort of
faux dancing until the next song started.

You know, I remember the smell of her perfume. It was
"Obsession."

Yes, I was. Completely turned on. If I'd rubbed myself
on her leg I think I would have come right then.

I didn't care that people might look at us. By then I
was in love with her. (She stops talking again and
looks off into space, at nothing. For I moment I think
she may break off the interview)

When the next song began we danced some more, but
mainly we moved on to deep kissing. This wasn't
tongues-to-the-tonsils nonsense, but open-mouthed
exploring of each other's mouth. And souls. On the
floor, bodies squeezed up against each other,
everything. I've never had an experience quite like
that, before or since. No, I wanted sex. By then I
really wanted it, but I could have done just that all
night long I think.

As soon as the number ended she asked if I would go
with her to her apartment. What could I say? (a very
small laugh)

* * * * *

We rode in her car, not too far, and I didn't say a
word the entire time. I got more and more scared, away
from the club, in a strange car, going I didn't know
where with a stranger. She was fine, though, and kept
talking as though nothing were going on. When we got
there she let me walk up the stairs without touching
me.

I don't know how much I can tell you about that. I
remember only a little about how the apartment looked.
She had antiques, books, old prints. She was a
Medievalist. I guess she still is. (her eyes fill with
tears, which she blinks away)

I remember things about the apartment in general, but
not the details. I remember it was beautiful. I just
stood there and she went around lighting candles and
incense and a little gas-log fireplace. Did I tell you
it was a chilly night? She had a couch in front of the
fireplace that she folded open into a bed.

I was watching this but not moving, just standing
where I had been when she took my jacket. I wasn't
sure I was going to stay, really, but-and this sounds
really silly-it seemed rude to leave. Nothing seemed
real to me.

Finally she came over to me with two glasses of deep
red wine. I do remember that. She gave me a glass and
said:

"You've never done anything like this before, have
you?"

I didn't know what to say. She could see right through
me. I wanted to seem cool, but I was a baby. I
couldn't even talk. I shook my head just a little.

"Well, here's what we're going to do: nothing."

"Huh?" I know I said something like that.

"We don't have to do anything. We can kiss a little,
and maybe touch each other, like back in the lounge.
If you feel brave we can go further."

I didn't say anything, but I remember I almost started
crying because it took so much pressure off me.

"Is that okay?"

Of course it was. We sipped some wine and she told me
how beautiful I was and how my being so uncertain made
me even lovelier. After a bit she took the glasses
away and came back and kissed me. I could do that. We
kissed standing up in front of the bed, and then she
began playing with my breasts through my blouse and
bra.

Henry, it was the most erotic thing anyone had ever
done to me, I think because it was my first time.

Yes, I'll tell you, as much as I remember. She did
several things to me. She tickled my nipples, pinched
them, caressed the skin of my breasts-yes, through my
blouse-and she squeezed both breasts hard.

I just stood there. I think my arms were at my sides
and I was staring at her hands, no, at her hands and
her face, back and forth. That's right. She had, I
don't know, a look of concentration. I remember
feeling it was odd, but whatever her look it didn't
matter. She could have enslaved me right then.

After a bit she unbuttoned my blouse, unsnapped my
skirt, and started slipping everything off me. When it
was time to get my bra off she kissed me, and while
she did that she reached around and unfastened it, so
when she stepped away the bra came with her and my
breasts just tumbled out.

I can't describe my state, standing there in just my
panties with this strange woman playing with my body
and kissing me.

No I didn't have an orgasm, not yet, but it was such
an intense erotic feeling, like a kind of extended
orgasm or something. It was . . . . (she is silent for
a moment)

I can't, I really can't describe it. How do you
describe real excitement?

Oh, there are so many things. My chest was tight the
whole time, but there was a strange, floating feeling
in it, like when an elevator suddenly drops. And I
felt little vibrations. My head felt full of pressure
and to my mind the whole world was a dream. I think I
gasped and made little noises. I didn't care.

No, it wasn't any one thing. It was being naked in
front of a woman, having her see me. And it was having
her play with my body. Later, when I saw her naked and
played with her body, I had those feelings all over
again.

Okay.

She put her mouth on my nipple and sucked on it and I
started begging her to go on. I couldn't help myself.

Henry, you'll laugh when I say this. It was religious.
Or spiritual. I wasn't just horny. It was like I had
been transported to another world, and the usual rules
didn't apply. So, yes, I was begging her, but it was
okay. When her hands touched me it was different from
Brian's hands, or any man's hands, and when she
mouthed a nipple, oh my. It was charged in a way I'd
never experienced.

At some point I started hiccupping. Yes I did.
(smiles) So she started kissing me deeply again. She
said she wanted to capture some of my hiccups, so that
I would have to be hers forever.

* * * * *

It was right afterwards that she pulled my panties
down and began petting me between my legs. It was the
first time she had touched me there at all.

I was so high that it put me over the top almost
instantly. I came right away. Listen, Henry, it wasn't
just that I had an orgasm. It rolled out of me like,
like this enormous tsunami. I felt it rush through my
whole body, through every part of me. Every part! I
got dizzy and everything went black. Really. I saw
little black spots in front of my eyes. No, more like
a black mist than individual spots.

I had to sit down on the bed. I half fell. Then I
think I must have passed out for a few seconds,
because the next thing I knew I was lying on the bed
and she was sitting beside me, looking down at me with
a worried expression and caressing my forehead.

So that was my first time, Henry. It was
so-what?-overpowering. That's such an inadequate word.
Just having her touch me was overpowering, even though
men had touched me many times. And having her see me
naked. Oh God. To this day I become aroused if a woman
sees me naked, even in a dressing room.

* * * * *

No, we weren't done. Here I was naked and panting on
the bed, and she was completely dressed. She was in
charge. There was no doubt about that. Anyway, she
brought in some more wine, and we kissed while I
recovered. She played with my body some more and got
me high again. It was as easy as that for her (snaps
her fingers). Then she told me to take her clothes off
her.

Henry, it happened all over again. I started taking
her things off and those same feelings in my head and
chest and all over stated again. When I saw her naked
I couldn't look at anything else. I mean I had seen
naked women before, and had just been a little
uncomfortable, but this! Her body wasn't at all like I
imagined it would be.

Her breasts were especially fascinating. I couldn't
take my eyes off them, and I couldn't stop touching
them. No, I ran my palms and fingers all over them,
every inch, again and again. I lifted them and pulled
on them, nipped her nipples and gave her hickeys on
them.

You know, I have some radical feminist friends. Don't
go there. You know exactly who I'm talking about.
Anyway, they complain about how over-eroticized
women's bodies are, especially our breasts, but damn I
think it's a blessing for lovers. Now I feel sorry for
cultures where breasts aren't considered erotic.

What? Well, yes I'd touched my own breasts thousands
of times. I even played with them sometimes. It isn't
the same, though. I think I could never get enough of
another women's breasts. They really aren't at all
like I thought they would be.

Maybe you should play with another man's cock and find
out how different that is than playing with your own.
(laughs)

* * * * *

Okay, back to my first time. You don't think I've
broken the spell? (laughs)

Well, I'm turning myself on and I'll have to find some
sweet woman after I'm done here. (laughs again)

There were two things about that first time, about
her, that I want to tell you more about: her breasts
and her pussy. No, I like to call it a pussy, because
it sounds dirty. You'd like to be in my pussy right
now, wouldn't you? Yeah, right.

Her breasts. That's where I stopped so let me start
there again. I gave her all those hickeys. I really,
really, liked nipping her. I don't think anyone had
ever done that to her. No, I don't know where I got
the idea. The skin was so white that it was almost
translucent, though she was almost olive complexioned.
I could see blue veins under the skin. I started
biting and sucking and I know it hurt her a little.
She started making little cries herself. You know,
"oh, oh."

Then she began saying, "Please, don't. Oh, not that,"
and so forth. But I don't know how serious she was.
She had her arms around me and her hands on my head,
and even as she was asking me to stop she was pulling
me in harder. I don't know if I could have gotten out
if I'd wanted to. Which I didn't, as you know.

It was the first time she'd acted like I was in charge
and it made me still hotter. I wouldn't have thought
that was possible. It was what made me adopt this
persona later, that power game. Yes, sweet little Mary
Sunshine during the day and Cruella DeVille at night.
(she pauses)

It was something else I didn't know about myself. How
many more things are there? (she shakes her head, as
though waking herself)

When I finished, her breasts were just covered with
marks and she was sweating and panting. I simply
pushed her down on the bed and pulled off her panties.
I remember her lying there looking up at me with an
apprehensive expression, and that now I was in charge.

No, I don't remember when that switch happened. Henry,
this was the first time I had ever done anything at
all! It isn't as though I was waiting for it or
planning it or anything.

She lay there looking up at me, and she had the most
enormous thatch of curly pubic hair, dark brown. She
had so much that I later found out she shaved it from
the tops of her thighs and her belly and even around
her ass. She shaped it into a perfect "V."

So I started giving her head.

No, it was easy. Earth calling Henry! Do you remember
how I said everything was different? I didn't have any
problem kneeling between her legs and eating her. I
might have started a little slowly, just because I
wanted to experience her smell and her taste.

Yes, I loved them too. Oh my how I loved them.
Especially how she tasted. No, the whole thing. Except
that I got some pubic hair in my mouth.

Well, that wasn't hard. Cunnilingus had been my
favorite thing in sex with men, so I just did what I
liked having done to me.

Oh yes, it worked all right. (laughs) It worked on me
too. I think I enjoyed it almost as much as she did. I
know I felt powerful, licking or sucking or biting a
little on her and watching her respond. It was so good
that as soon as she came I made her eat me, too,
without letting her recover first.

So I came again and then we lay together, snuggling
and dozing. You know how.

The end wasn't good. We suddenly woke to find that it
was 12:30 and I had a babysitter with the kids. I had
to call and apologize and we rushed to get dressed and
get back to my car so I could hurry home. Then I got a
ticket on the way, because I was driving too fast.
(laughs) I say it wasn't good, but looking back on it,
it was hilarious.

* * * * *

Actually, telling you about my first time reminds me
of the first time with your little friend. Get me
another drink and I'll tell you why.

Okay. Thanks.

Well, as I said she reminded me of myself, but she was
even more stiff, wouldn't kiss in the club, and so
forth. I had just about decided that she wasn't ready
for anything, and I started telling her goodnight,
when she asked if she could go to my apartment with
me.

Yes, just out of the blue. It was the last thing I
expected. Of course I agreed! (laughs)

It's so close by that we walked, but she wouldn't hold
my hand while we walked, or even look directly at me.
I tried to talk with her, but it was all one way. It
seemed to take forever to get there.

In my place she sat on the sofa - you know, right by
the window, where I have that beautiful glasswork you
gave me. Okay. She sat on the sofa and I sat on the
coffee table facing her. She still wouldn't kiss me,
and turned her head when I tried. Finally I just told
her that I didn't think she was ready for this and
that I would take her back to the club.

You know what she did then? She asked me to kiss her.
But she was so stiff that I swear she almost seemed
phobic. She did finally loosen up, though, and we even
Frenched.

Then when I tried to touch her breast she froze up
again! (makes a sound of exasperation)

What did I do? What could I do? I asked her if she was
sure she wanted to stay. I told her we would go very,
very slowly. Then I started rubbing the tip of just
one breast. When she was okay with that I did the same
to the other. Then I Frenched her and did both breasts
at the same time. This was getting serious! She never
did anything on her own, but she started letting me do
whatever I wanted. When I started unbuttoning her
blouse she began to shiver.

She gets the most lovely blotchiness when she gets
excited, Henry. I swear you should fuck her and we can
compare notes. (laughs) Well, I got her about ninety
percent undressed, out of everything but her panties,
and then - poof! - she asked me if I had a lot of
tattoos.

Don't ask me. I guess because I was still wearing my
jacket and all. She must have thought I was one of
those girls who are all covered in body art, and of
course all I have is this little four leaf clover on
my shoulder blade, the one I got before I was even
married.

So, anyway, I told her I'd show her everything. Then I
did a little strip tease for her, one item at a time,
swinging my jacket before I dropped it, the whole nine
yards. When she saw my body she relaxed a lot. I took
off everything and then pulled down her panties, and
we basically made love.

One more thing, though. I did do a little power
playing with her. I was tired of her being so
hesitant, so teasing, so I got on top of her and held
her down and told her I was in charge. I would decide
what to do and she would obey me.

You know what she said? She said "Yes ma'am." Yes she
did. A natural submissive. I tested her. I bit her
nipples until I was sure I was hurting them and when
she tried to push me away I slapped her face. Twice.
Really. Then I told her to hold her hands at her sides
and I bit her some more. She cried out but didn't move
any more.

No, I wasn't a total dominatrix, though it's not to
say I wasn't tempted. Lord it was wonderful. But I got
sweet and sexed her. As you never get tired of saying,
I'm a cunning linguist, and I was cunning enough for
her. She finally got wound up and really, really hot,
and came. Then I made her eat me, too, which she
didn't want to do.

What I did ... what I did was to put my belt around
her neck and make it tight. I did, Henry. She wouldn't
do me and I was determined to conquer her. I made it
tighter and tighter. Henry, her face was so red before
she finally put her mouth to me. Then I took the loose
end and whipped her with it until she was done - until
I was done.

What? Oh. Uh, well, about eight or ten strokes. Not
that hard, but they did leave some marks. Yes, it was
so good, so very good. Jesus! I haven't done that with
any other woman, with any other person. Nothing that
extreme.

It swept the dam away for her, Henry. Now, every few
weeks I have her come over. Straight to my place.
Again, no pun intended. No, I don't think she ever
goes to the club anymore. I'll have to tell you all
about what happens another time. I really have to go
now. Anyway, to give you a tease, a couple of times I
tied her and whipped her a little. Not that much, or
that hard. Enough to sting. I make her do different
things, always including using her mouth. She has a
sweet mouth, now that she knows how to use it. She
gets hot and she always comes beautifully.

You know, true confessions time. Some day I might
really hurt her. I'd like to take things a little
further, you know? Oh sure, what am I thinking? Of
course you know! (laughs)

So that's my little story. Was it helpful? Did it turn
you on? No I don't want to see the evidence! (laughs).

* * * * *

(So we hugged and kissed on the lips and you left.
That was it, so you thought, but it wasn't. It isn't.
You don't know the half of it, my darling. You tell me
things and you think we're oh-so-intimate, such
co-conspirators. You don't know, really, don't know
me, don't know what I'm after. We're intimate, but
we're not.

(You asked why I wanted to hear about you and her. I
didn't. Why should I care about her? I've already
fucked her, often. Telling me about her wasn't the
point. It was telling me about yourself. That's what
I'll accept in place of the real thing.

(I loved your telling. Do you know that at times you
would forget about me, and be looking through your
mind's eyes? Your voice would change, your telling get
more fluid, and then you'd be recounting what was
actually happening in your memory. You were happy.

(God knows you haven't been too happy for a long time,
love. I know you have trouble keeping lovers, that the
ones who like your dominant side all tend to be
druggies or unstable or whatever, and-yes-that you're
a bit unstable yourself. I'm sorry that you're alone.

(I can't believe it is so bad that you would sex that
jerk Brian, whom I never respected even before you
divorced. Has he ever had an original thought, about
sex or anything else? It's no wonder there were no
fireworks. Weren't you astounded that he happened to
come upon the idea of letting you have visitation
rights with your kids? Do you think he thought that up
himself? He'd need a coach in the bedroom to be able
to do exciting sex, just like he needed me to tell him
that your kids needed their mother.

(You need someone with imagination and personality,
someone frankly like me. I could make you hot just
like you make our little mutual friend hot, and I'm
not completely sure I won't do it some day.

(I'm not sure at all that I could make you happy,
though, not in the long run. I don't know if anyone
could. I don't know if you're made for happiness. I'd
like to try, but I fear it's not to be. You love me in
your way, and I love you in mine. Maybe I love you in
anyone's way. Never mind. What I can do is be there
for you, and give you someone discreet to talk to. And
give you little presents.

(It is supposed to be more blessed to help someone
when she doesn't know you're the helper, or even that
she's being helped. Maybe this doesn't qualify, but
I'll keep giving you your secret present anyway, dear.
I'll keep making our little friend go over to your
place for those afternoons you love so well. She's
actually started to enjoy them, even to look forward
to them, and maybe you'll be a bit happier for all
that.)



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