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From: PJcocoa@aol.com
Subject: {ASSM} First Impressions [6/7] {Gary Jordan (ScFi Mf cons)
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 2002 07:10:02 -0500
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First Impressions
Chapter 6

By Gary Jordan

(ScFi, Mf, cons safe)
Copyright 2001

Work was work.  I took readings, cleaned strainers, changed the
circular chart paper in our chart recorders, recorded data for various
reposts in a computer database that our resident wizard programmed
especially for that.

The Twenty-first Century offered many marvelous options for the
automated control of boilers; the designers of this four-year-old
facility had opted for a mechanical linkage system not much more
advanced than that of the forty-year-old facility I had transferred
from.  That meant that vibration changed the "precise" settings of the
mechanical levers and bars, no matter how tight the setscrews were
tightened.  Boiler two was exhibiting systems of maladjustment.

The shape and whorl of the flame pattern at low firing rates seemed to
indicate that there was either too much air or not enough natural gas.
That and the earthquake rumble when the boiler deigned to light off at
all.  Troubleshooting Boiler Two would occupy most of my night.

In the end, it turned out to be an air flow guide fin that had changed
its angle.  My boss is a control systems wizard - he'd have been
disgusted at the time I wasted tracking down the real cause of the
problem, were it not that the same thing had happened to him.

I'd lost track of time, or Elaine was jumping the gun.  I was wiping
down the tools I'd used and replacing them on the tool room shadow
boards when the first arousing tingle started in my loins.  I tried to
think calming thoughts as I finished storing the tools.  Some weren't
cleaned with my usual thoroughness before I dashed to the men's room
and washed my hands.

Elaine had been more considerate than the previous week, keeping the
arousal at a constant low pitch until she felt my participation.  From
that point on, all restraint melted away.  I used the liquid soap
dispenser and both hands to ease things along.  I now had a more
concrete mental image to enjoy as I tried to keep my strokes slow.
She had her own images, and I think they melded in our minds at the
point of surrender to bliss.

Afterwards, I washed soap from all eleven digits, and made myself
presentable for the arrival of my relief.  I was expecting the call
when the phone rang, but answered professionally anyway.

Power Plant, Bee, may I help you?"

Good morning," she smiled through the phone.  I could picture it
easily.

"A very good morning," I agreed, to more giggling.

"What time will you be getting home?"

Teenagers never listen.  "A little after nine."

"Fine," she said.  I needed no fire lizards to detect disappointment. 
Perhaps she had listened, but hoped I might make an excuse to leave
early.  Maybe I would.  "My mother said she'd pick me up at eight."
Ah. Even with a good excuse, I couldn't leave before then.

It was just as well.  I needed to stop at a suitably anonymous store
for protection before things in person went any further.  I now knew
that things would go further, sooner rather than later.

"So, will I see you before next weekend?"

"Well, I'm sure Mom and Dad have something planned for the last day of
school, and I wanted to do a little job hunting, but I'll be by when I
can."

"That's fine.  *I* can wait," I teased.

"And I can't?" she replied indignantly.  Before I could tease some
more, she said in a quiet voice, "No, I can't.  Waiting is so hard."

I heard my relief pull into the parking lot.  I sighed. "Yes, you can.
We both have to, and we will.  And now I have to get back to work."

We said goodbye.  I very nearly uttered those three words, but I
caught myself.  Afterwards, I wondered why.


There was a Wal-Mart in the major town up the highway that was more
than sufficiently anonymous for my purposes.  Three dozen condoms fit
right in with shampoo, tampons, soap, deodorant, bubble bath,
bodywash, and various male and female necessities. I didn't limit my
purchases to the health and beauty department -why waste a good
shopping trip?  I stocked up on the usual bathroom , laundry and
kitchen supplies, and hit the food department for red meat and frozen
dinners.

The house seemed emptier than usual when I got home, however happy Pat
and Julie were to see me.  Things perked up when Zander appeared,
making Elaine a tangible presence.

I couldn't help it - that "going to hell" image was appearing with
more and more frequency, but with less and less intensity or guilt.  I
still knew intellectually that where we were headed was wrong on
several levels.  My heart didn't care.  My heart felt only the right
of it.  I knew that I'd follow my heart

Secrets are evil.  Maybe not intrinsically evil, but a source of evil
at any rate.  Secrecy is suppression of truth, and truth wants light. 
Secrecy is suppression of knowledge, and knowledge wants to be shared.
Secrecy is power, and power corrupts. Secrecy is an abrogation of
human nature, and sooner or later, humans are true to their nature.

Ten teenaged girls were privy to a secret.  How it had remained a
secret from the day the eggs were distributed until the day of the
hatching is a tribute to Elaine's skills in convincing them of the
importance of that secrecy.

Following Impression, a measure of that secrecy escaped the tight
circle.  First, Mr. B became a conspirator by virtue of being in the
right place at the right time.  Other parents and some siblings were
included in the circle almost immediately, all sworn to secrecy.  The
one girl who failed to take at least one parent into her confidence
had lost her fire lizard, an apparent victim to cracked skin and the
cold of between.

Even in as rural area as they lived, Mr. B was not the only
afficionado of Anne McCaffrey's works.  Several parents had guessed
the origin of their daughters' "pets."  One other besides Mr. B had
recognized the significance of the colors of those pets and the
genders of those to whom the pets looked - and some of the
significance of her daughter's frequent calls and visits to the B
residence.  She was undecided about that as yet.

Even so, the main secret was confined to parents and their children in
ten families, and would remain so for a long time to come.

Even in the best conspiracy, there are secrets within secrets. That
Elaine could "hear" all the fire lizards was known to only three...


Jay considered Elaine one of her best friends, but Jessica was her
very best friend, and Jess had just confided that she'd almost gone
all the way with her boyfriend.

"I don't know what came over me," she almost whispered, glancing to
make sure no one could overhear.  "I was just thinking it was time to
push him away - you know how he gets - and instead I made him get me
off with his hands.  I'm afraid to be alone with him again."

"When did you say this happened?"  Jay was pretty sure she knew "what
had come over" Jessica.  She looked around the Burger King as well,
but no one was near their corner booth.

"I was at Brad's house a couple of hours after I left yours, why?"

"Well..." Jay wasn't sure how much to tell.  She reminded Jess that
Elaine had given everyone their eggs, had called the golden queen from
somewhere.  That Elaine could communicate with fire lizards that she
*hadn't* Impressed.

That was as far as she got in her explanation before Jessica's face
turned white.  "Oh. My. GOD!"

Startled, Jay only said, "What?"

"If Elaine can link with anyone's fire lizard, she knows everything...
everything!

"Well, that isn't exactly what..." Jay tried to explain, but Jessica
was too distracted to listen.

"It isn't like I wouldn't have told her, if I wanted her to know,
but...  Oh, God."  Jessica slid out of the booth.  "I... I've got to
go.  I need to... I'll call you later."

"Wait..." But Jessica was gone, leaving her half-eaten fries and
untouched drink behind.  Jay worried; worried that her very best
friend was upset; worried that she had said too much; worried that she
hadn't had time to say enough.  On top of it all, she worried about
whether she should tell her father or Elaine, and what she would say
if she did.

Fire lizards, particularly young ones, communicate emotions more
strongly than anything else.  Elaine was beginning to communicate
images with Zander, as when he pictured the fuzzy view from the roof
of her house or a vivid image of Pat offering a sliver of meat - he
liked that one.  Emotions still came through clearest, but Zander was
young.

When Elaine felt a strong twinge of fear and anger, she knew it wasn't
from Zander, though he felt it too.  One of her friends must have a
problem, but that wasn't unusual, and she did her best to block it
out, and was mostly successful.  She'd had a lot of practice.  Elaine
was acutely aware that post-pubescent females were bundles of raw
emotion, aware in a way no adult -except maybe Mr. B - could be.
Blocking her friends' mood swings was becoming second nature.

Her block was successful enough that she didn't notice when a second
source of fear and anger added itself to the first.  She couldn't
know, but a partially understood truth was being shared among the
members of the conspiracy.

Closer to home, she was busily completing her Sunday chores, including
folding and hanging her laundry, when she noted her mother engrossed
in a book.  She liked her mother, although she was certain her mother
would never understand her.  She asked, "Whatcha reading, Mom?"

Her mother looked her in the eyes and held up the book, so Elaine
could read the cover.  Elaine recognized the old bookclub edition of
the "Dragonrider Trilogy."  She felt her face grow warm.  "I didn't
know you liked science fiction, Mom."

"I haven't read this one in years," her Mother replied, "but I always
liked some authors.  Marion Zimmer Bradley, for one.  Anne McCaffrey
for another."  She put the book down, marking her place. "I recognized
your pet the moment I saw it.  I only pretended to buy  that 'Borneo
Dragon' nonsense."

"Mom..."

"Don't you think it's time we had a little talk?"

"Mom..."

"I believe you mentioned that 'Mr. B' has a pair of greens -females -
and all your friends have males.  You do realize the significance of
that, don't you?"

"Mom..." Elaine's face had grown quite hot and she didn't need a
mirror to know her blush was giving her completely away.  But her
mother was still talking.

"I can see that you do.  Does *he* understand that significance?"
There was no doubt who *he* was.

Elaine dropped her face to both hands, tears beginning to flow. Her
embarrassment was total.

"He does, doesn't he."  It wasn't a question, and Elaine could only
nod.  "Perhaps we'd better go see 'Mr. B,' then."

Elaine was mortified, and could only nod.  Zander chirruped his
distress for her, eyes swirling in various shades.  Whatever she had
said about not caring what her parents thought, she did love and
respect them, more than even she was aware. As they all went to the
car, she couldn't know that the fear she felt, and the embarrassment,
were accelerating the rate at which a certain morsel of half-truth was
being shared.

I wasn't completely unaware that events were unfolding that would soon
be coming to a head.  Not with Pat and Julie shivering on my
shoulders.  Despite my best efforts at comforting them, both their
eyes swirled in varying intensities of alarm and dread, fear and...
shame.  At one point I had a vivid image of Elaine and her mother, no
doubt from Zander through my ladies.  It *felt* like they were
approaching.

I prepared to meet them.  I shaved and dressed casually, tidied up a
bit.  Then I waited, reassuring Pat and Julie.

I didn't wait very long.

I stood in my open doorway as Elaine and her mother exited a Ford
pickup truck, one of those long-cabbed models, I don't know which one.
As they approached, I backed up holding the door for them to enter.
Elaine's mother (had Elaine ever mentioned her name?) regarded me
warily.

Elaine said, "Mr. B, this is my mother; Mom, this is Mr. B."  We shook
hands very briefly.

"Eleanor," her mom said as she dropped my hand.  "What kind of name is
'Mr. B'?"

"It's short for Bdzjalski.  My first name is even worse," I said. "I
hate being called 'Ski', so everyone says B, or Mr. B." Eleanor
laughed.  I smiled.  Good start.

"Your daughter's name?"

"Named after my grandmother.  That's why she goes by Jay." Eleanor
laughed again.

"You seemed to be expecting us."

I nodded, glancing at Elaine, who was silent through this exchange,
still bordering on tears.  "Are you familiar with the nature of our...
pets?"

Eleanor nodded back. "I'm an old fan of Pern.  Haven't read the newest
ones, yet."

"As an old fan, try to picture your daughter as Lessa or Brekke, able
to talk with all the dragons.  Or to all the fire lizards, in this
case.  I think there is a Pern, though there won't be any dragons
there for hundreds or even thousands of years."

"I'd say you were crazy if not for the evidence on your shoulder and
curled around Elaine's neck."  She cocked her head.  "Why Lessa or
Brekke?"

"Elaine 'hears' all of the fire lizards, not just Zander.  None of the
rest of us do." Eleanor looked to Elaine for confirmation. Elaine
nodded.

Eleanor opened her mouth to voice her next question, then closed it
again. She turned to Elaine. "Elaine, please wait outside.  I need to
speak to Mr. B alone for a few minutes."

Elaine looked to me.  I said, "Do as your mother says."  I'll never
forget the hurt in her eyes, as she obeyed.  Whether she was obeying
me or her mother, I can't say.

When the door closed, Eleanor turned back to me.  "Have you had sex
with my daughter?"  The set of her jaw belied the calm manner in which
she asked the question.

I recalled a conversation with my own daughter while delaying my
answer.  Eleanor interrupted my revery with a sharper "Have you?" I
framed an answer.  "Eleanor, I'm not Bill Clinton, so I won't argue
definitions.  Yes, Elaine and I have made love many times, once in the
same room."

I suppose my answer confused her.  It would have confused me if I
hadn't been a participant.  "Once... do you mean to say you were
having sex with someone else?  That she "listened' in with her...
powers?"

For the second time in a week, I found myself explaining the initial
incident and the following weeks.  Eleanor wouldn't settle for
euphemisms or evasions.  She blushingly insisted on details, halting
my story repeatedly for clarifications.  She also listened to my
misgivings and self-recriminations at each stage, and to my
realization of my affection for her daughter, before the events of
last night.

Throughout the recitation, Pat and July became increasingly
distressed, their eyes radiating the swirly shades of fear.  I stroked
them both and reassured them as best I could, hoping to send that
reassurance to Elaine.

"What a bloody mess." I might have missed Eleanor's murmur had I not
been so intent on her reactions.  She looked at me.  "Would it do any
good if I forbade her to see you again?"

I slowly shook my head.  "Distance has no meaning, under the
circumstances."

"Would you send her away if I convinced you it was the best thing?"

I shrugged my shoulders, disturbing Pat and July.  If anything, their
fear had grown. It was all I could do to block it out; reassurance
seemed beyond my grasp.  "I tried to be the adult, to reason with her.
Whether my love is a reflection of hers, or springs from the depth of
my heart, it is as intense as what I once felt for my first wife.  Her
happiness is the most important thing to me now."

Eleanor was silent for a time.  I tried again to calm the swirling-
eyed flits on either shoulder.  Their tails around my neck threatened
to strangle me.

Eleanor searched my face.  "Do you want to marry my daughter? To make
Elaine your wife?"

I was surprised to hear myself say sincerely, "With all my heart."
And then I wasn't surprised.  I knew it was true.

Eleanor nodded.  "Do you think you can postpone physical consummation
until after the wedding, as a favor to me?  Her father and I will sign
the papers, but there are blood tests and licenses... Can you wait
that long?"

I felt the grin stretch my face.  "I'll try my damnedest - she may be
harder to convince."  My grin left.  "Eleanor, we've got to get her
back inside.  Pat and July are letting me know that she is absolutely
terrified!"  I stood and headed for the door, stumbling from the
emotions.

Eleanor beat me to the door and opened it, to find a shivering Elaine
clinging for her life to a porch rail.

We guided Elaine to the sofa, each holding a hand and trying to
reassure her.  Eleanor told her she could marry me - it only brought a
moment's respite to her shaking and tears.  Something else entirely
had my beloved at the verge of hysteria.

I closed my eyes and opened my mind to the link with Pat and July,
with Elaine and Zander...

Concluded in Chapter 7

Let me know what you thought at Gary Jordan (pjcocoa@aol.com)





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