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From: Alan Mathews <alanmath@brain.org (deletethis)>
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Subject: {ASSM} Watching Book One - December 2001 "Special Edition"
Date: Fri, 14 Dec 2001 10:10:06 -0500
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For those of you who thought you'd never hear from me again -- guess again.

-Alan



---------
A Note From Alan on Watching Book One - December 2001 "Special Edition"
December 14th, 2001
----------------

I wrote this story long ago, or so it seems.  It was back in 1996 that I 
first posted this story, and to be honest, it changed my life.  I don't 
think my life would be anything like it is now if it hadn't been for the 
people I met after posting this in alt.sex.stories on Usenet back in the 
dark days of November of the mid-1990s.  I'm stunned that the "5 year 
anniversary" of the first posting of this story has come and gone.  It 
makes me wonder at how long it will be before I'm an old man squinting at 
the computer screen and cursing small fonts.

The 'net was different in the middle of the last decade of the previous 
millennium.  There was less spam and less traffic.  For those of you newer 
to alt.sex.stories, you could not imagine how it was back in the first days 
when I started reading it in 1994.  You could post there with a real e-mail 
address and not end up with your inbox full of porn spam, you could 
download a header list and not have half of them scream about "free xxx 
pics", you could even find more than 50 line "Bobby gets a blowjob" stories 
more often than not.  
Hell, I remember doing a search for "sex" on yahoo.com using an early 
version of Netscape and mostly only finding articles on gorilla genitalia.  
Seriously!  Now, bordering on 2002, it is little more than a spam-filled 
mess.

But I digress.

Many of you wondered where I disappeared to over these last few years.  The 
truth is, I've been lazy.  I let the stories just sit, book three still 
floating in my mind.  The images of what I want to write float in and out 
of my mind while I lay in bed alone at night.

So, you ask, "Why Alan, why haven't you finished it then?"  The problem is 
getting myself in front of the computer to do so.  I also need to recapture 
some of what made "Watching" special to so many people, and in doing that, 
I decided to edit the first two books again.  

This brings us to what this "special edition" of Book One that follows is 
all about.  Some of you may not like the new form of it; I toned down the 
sex for one thing.  My goal was to make this something that a wider 
audience could appreciate, and to modify it so that the sex scenes fit the 
overall 'tone' of the book.  Not to mention I also fixed some glaring 
errors that I winced at not spotting sooner.  

How much you like this version I suspect will depend on what you liked it 
for originally.  If you read it for the sex, you'll be disappointed.  If 
you read it for the love story, I think you'll be pleased with the 
modifications I've made.

Reading your own writing over again several years later makes you realize 
how much you've grown as a writer.  If you compare the first chapter of 
Book One to the last chapter of Book Two, you'll immediately see the 
difference in writing style.  This was the first time I ever attempted to 
write anything of this length, and I learned a hell of a lot doing so.

I'm currently in the middle of editing Book Two, which hopefully will 
appear soon in a revised state as well.  And yes, Book Three is still going 
to appear -- just don't ask me when.  When it does arrive, it will be a 
long one, I promise.

Meanwhile, enjoy this.  Perhaps you've not read it for a long time; perhaps 
you've never read it.  Either way, it's a story about a couple falling in 
love, a story about the importance of family, and a story about life.  

For those of you with a wife or a husband and kids, you probably have no 
idea how lucky you are, or if you do know, maybe you've not spent as much 
time with them as you should.  Considering we're in the middle of the 
holiday season, I hope this makes you think more about your own family, and 
how you can bring them closer to you.  Too many of us (myself included) 
don't have the joys of marriage, or the joy of having children in our 
lives.  Of course there are trials, but as someone I once knew said, "Boy 
it's hard, but it's a whole lot of fun too!"  As I spend more time with the 
children of my friends, the more I realize how important such things are in 
life.

Just remember that in the end all we have are the good times, and those are 
frighteningly rare.  Enjoy them while you can.

Merry Christmas,

Alan
alanmath@brain.org
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Alan.Mathews/

Original Authors Note For Watching Book One: The Meeting
------------------------------------------------

This is the first story that I've posted to a.s.s.  This work has taken over
a year to write.  It was written for myself, and no one else.

You see, I write because I get a story line in my head and I can't get
it out until it's on paper, or in this case, on a computer screen.  If I
don't get it out it haunts me, floating around in the back of my head
until I'm trying to fall asleep or just waking up.  Damn annoying sometimes,
having a story line pop into your head at 1am and not being able to fall
asleep until you've let it run it's course by writing the idea down
on paper to be worked on at some later date.  Or in the case of this story,
compelling enough to drive you out of bed and in front of the computer at 
3am.

As I said, I write for myself.  I write the way I like to read.  And
it's long.  Just like my favorite books and stories are. If you like short,
to the point, fuck-screaming-orgasmic-mind-boggling-never-stopping-sex
type stories, you've picked the wrong story.  Sure it has sex, but
(gasp!) it also has a plot.  (At least I like to think it does.)

Why has it taken over a year for me to get even book one out?  Well,
editing for one.  I hate it, but know it's necessary.  But the story is
better for it.  Two, I wrote it when I wasn't busy, or had an idea for
the plot line that just couldn't wait.  Sometimes it came in 50 line
bursts every other night, sometimes a chapter a night.  One memorable
time was when I wrote five chapters in one night.  Some chapters I
agonized over.  Others seemed to flow from my fingertips.  Some chapters
are full of pain, some full of joy.  Just like life.

The first words of this story were written late at night, in late
September of 1995.  My Grandfather had just had his first heart attack.
The kids were barely settling into the new school year, and I was dead
tired, laying in bed, alone, when the old memories of one of my few
schoolboy crushes came to the surface.  I do remember the name of the
girl, which, of course, has been changed.  I was eighteen, she was
fourteen.  We rode the same bus.  I was very shy (I didn't go out on my
first date until I was nearly 23), and a self admitted nerd.

She, on the other hand, was what I would call 'normal'.  She was pretty,
and mostly matched the physical attributes of the girl named Jenny in this
story.  She caught my eye literally, and the memory stays with me even
after the years that have passed.

She was sitting in the seat in front of me, and dropped a piece of paper
on the floor.  It drifted until it lay at my feet.  I picked it up and
handed it to her.  Our eyes locked for a second, and I froze.  She had
the kind of brown eyes that were so dark that you had to look closely to
find where the iris and pupil met.  She smiled and said thanks, and I nodded
politely, pulling my eyes away from hers.  I sat back and thought, only
being pulled out of my reverie by the bus pulling up in front of the junior
high.  (I was a Junior in High School, she an eighth grader)  I watched her
leave the bus, but before she turned to climb the path to the school 
entrance,
she turned and our eyes met again, just for a few seconds.  Then she turned
and walked up the path.  I watched as she entered the building, then the
bus pulled away.  That was the beginning.

For the next two years -- until I graduated, that is -- I would live for
the moments I had to sneak glances at her when she wasn't looking.  She
caught me looking once or twice, much to my embarrassment.  I never did
anything about it.  (Now you know why I call this story "Watching".)

High School ended, I went to college, and I never saw her again.  That was
what I was thinking about that night in late September, wondering about how
my life may have turned out if I had actually spoken to her.  I was at a low
point in my life, and I wrote to try to help myself feel like there was
hope somewhere, even if it was in a fantasy world.  Before I knew it, this
story was in the preliminary stages of forming.  It soon departed from that
initial fantasy and grew into something much more important to me.  I have
no one to share this with; it deals with issues that I would most likely be
condemned for, especially with my highly religious family. (A religion that 
I
don't share.)  The few friends I have simply wouldn't understand.  So I
post this for you, in hopes that someone will read it, enjoy it, and maybe
even learn something from it.  Enjoy.

Alan Mathews (alanmath@brain.org)
November 1996



Watching
By Alan Mathews



The Watching Trilogy Timeline
------------------------------

 (January 1995)
  o Book One: The Meeting begins




Book One
The Meeting
-----------



Chapter One
-----------

   I heard someone crying quietly toward the back of the bus as
the cold January wind seeped in through the loose panes of the
school bus windows. 
   The trip home from school had taken a turn for the worse when the
engine of the old bus had finally ground to a halt.  We were stuck
on a dark back road as night fell. 
   Our bus driver had left thirty minutes before to see if he could
find a phone to call for help.  Our small, poor school district
wasn't even able to afford proper maintenance of their busses, much
less pay to put CB radios in them.  No help had come, and I was
beginning to fear that he may have gotten lost in the swirling
snow and encroaching darkness.
   The temperature had dropped rapidly after the sun had disappeared
behind the dense foliage of the surrounding forest, and now even the
children in jackets were beginning to shiver.  I had a heavy winter coat
and was decently comfortable thanks to the foresight of my grandmother,
who had given it to me as a Christmas present.  (One of the few presents
from her that I had ever found a use for.)  I heard teeth chattering from 
the
seat in front of me.  Leaning forward, I peered over the back of the seat.
   One of the girls I recognized from school was shivering in the seat in 
front of me in a light jacket that wouldn't keep out spring weather, much 
less the deep freeze of January.
        I had noticed her before.  Hell, I had been watching her on the bus for 
well over a year, sneaking glances at her when I could get away with it,
appreciating her long dark brown hair and slim form, as teenaged boys are 
prone to doing to attractive members of the opposite sex.
   Of course, there are a lot of pretty girls wandering around, but 
something
about her was special, unique; I seemed to be drawn to her.  Something 
about her made me want to hold her close, to be near to her.  Perhaps it 
was something in her large, dark eyes that brought out the protective 
instincts in me.  I had never felt that way about anyone before, and 
frankly it frightened me a little.
   I had never spoken to her, although I'm certain she had caught me 
looking at her once or twice.  I'm not all that talkative to anyone, much 
less girls.  I suffer from the classic problem of stuttering, cold sweats, 
and blushing most "shy" people face when
around the opposite sex.
   Mustering up my courage, I spoke.  
   "Are you cold?" I asked.
   "Just a little." she replied, looking up at me.  She was huddled
in a ball with her legs curled up beneath her, body shaking visibly
from the cold.  I caught her eyes for a moment and made up my mind.
   "Just a second." I said.  I unzipped my coat and pulled it off my 
shoulders.  "Put this on." I said, holding it out to her.  
   "I...I can't." she said shyly.  "Then you'll be cold, and it's your
coat."  
   "Well, I can handle the cold better than you can.  If you don't get warm 
soon you'll end up with hypothermia.  Then we'd need an ambulance to get 
you out of here, and I'd end up giving the coat to you anyway once you 
slipped into delirium." I stated, with my best attempt at a smile.
   She grinned, and reached for the coat.  "Ok, I'll take it," she said 
while slipping the coat on. "But won't you get hypothermic too, although 
I'm not entirely certain what
that means?"  
   "Not for a while.  After all, I'm male.  Males are stronger than 
females." I joked.  
   "Oooooh!  Sexist pig!" She flashed me a smile and huddled up under my 
coat, her teeth no longer chattering and her shivering fading slowly as she 
warmed up.
   I slouched back in my seat, enjoying the afterglow of that smile.  But 
after a few minutes I started to feel the cold, my body beginning to shiver 
as the temperature continued to drop.  I managed to keep my teeth from 
chattering for a few minutes, but soon I could no longer contain it, no 
matter how hard I gritted my teeth.  
   Her head popped over the top of the seat back, and seeing my obviously 
chilled state, gave me a concerned look.
   "Are you all right?" she asked, a concerned look on her face.  
   "Fine, fine." I said, making a superhuman effort to stop my shivering.  
I failed.
   She looked unconvinced.  "Well... maybe we can share it, that way
we'd both be warm.  It's big enough I think." she said, looking nervously 
at me.  
   "Are you sure?" I asked, uncertain.  It certainly was big enough.  It 
was slightly to big for me, even on my 6'2", 210 pound frame.  While it 
reached slightly above my knees it looked like a long dress on her, as she 
was barely over five feet in height.  
   "Yes." she said and got up, moving to my seat.  She took off the coat, 
and all business, told me to get up.  
   "Now, if you put it on and leave the zipper open..."  I followed her 
instructions and we ended up comfortably situated, me with my arms in the 
sleeves of the coat, her huddled up against my side with the excess 
material wrapped around her.  She moved a little closer to me, sharing body 
heat.  
   "What's your name?" I asked.  
   "Jenny.  What's yours?"  
   "Alex." I replied, trying to relax; difficult to do with someone you've 
had a mild crush on
 for over a year huddled against your side.
   "Hmmm, Alex.  You're a comfortable pillow." she said, resting her head 
against my shoulder.  
   I laughed, and the conversation continued from there.  We talked about 
school, and people we knew.  Well, actually, she talked, I listened.  I 
didn't much know anyone at our school, despite my going to the same school 
district from kindergarten up to my current grade.
   "What are you going to do after you graduate?" she asked.  
   "I was thinking about going to college... there's a pretty good school 
down in New Mexico I was planning on going to.  After that, hopefully a 
good job.  I really just want to get out of this town.  What are you 
thinking about doing after high school?"
   "I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow, much less three or four 
years from now." she sighed.   
   "You have plenty of time.  Don't worry about it.  Don't push yourself 
into anything, pick something you like."   I suggested.
   "Maybe." she said noncommittally.
   We spoke for a few minutes longer, until the conversation finally died 
out into a
comfortable silence.
   "Boy, I'm tired." she yawned.  
   "Go ahead and sleep." I said.
   "Thanks, but then I couldn't keep the coat closed."  She paused and 
considered.  "Hold still." she said, moving herself until she was sitting 
on my lap leaning against my chest. She grabbed my arms and wrapped them 
around her again.  I was surprised at her boldness, but it felt 
surprisingly good, feeling her warm body pressed against mine.  She managed 
to zip the coat up somewhat, keeping us pressed closely together whether we 
wanted to or not.
   "There. Now it'll stay closed." she said, shifting slightly in my lap.  
I said nothing, too stunned to do more than sit there.
   She rested her head on my shoulder again, her soft hair brushing my 
cheek. She sighed, and a few minutes later her breathing evened out to the 
whisper of her even breathing.  
   I watched her sleep, the ghostly light from the bus window illuminating 
her face.  I knew that I had a crush on this girl whom I barely knew, I had 
for months.  And here I was, holding her as if I had known her for years.  
In fact, it had been the only real physical contact I had had with anyone 
in years.  I was in shock, to put it mildly, but managed to decide not to 
overanalyze the situation and just enjoy it while it lasted.  I hugged her 
tighter against me, relishing the heat of her body contrasting to the 
freezing air of the bus.  Then I drifted off into sleep as well.  
  
End Chapter One


Chapter Two
-----------  
  
   I awoke to the glare of headlights shining through the grime covered 
windows and the muffled creak of tires rolling through fresh snow.  The 
driver had managed to get through, evidently.  I found myself almost 
wishing that he hadn't.  
   I gently shook Jenny, and she slowly came awake and looked up at me.  
   "Good morning." she said with a lazy smile, and stretched as much as she 
could in the confines of my coat.  
   "Hardly morning.  The new bus just pulled up, finally."  
   "To bad, I was just getting comfortable."  I could tell she was smiling, 
even without being able to see her face.
   I chuckled, and she slowly got up.  I thought I had never seen anything 
so beautiful as her standing in the dim light of the bus, shivering in the 
cold, hair slightly out of place from her hour or so of sleep in my arms.  
   "We'd better go." I said, noticing that the bus was now nearly empty, 
everyone else having boarded the other bus.  She nodded, and we clambered 
down the steps of the old bus, walking slowly over to the new bus together. 
 
   We boarded the bus, the powdery snow already having left a thin coat of 
snow on our heads.  We took separate seats again, her in front of me, as 
always.  We rode until her stop in silence.  
   When she got up to leave, she paused for a moment and leaned toward me.  
   "Thanks for letting me share your jacket." she whispered.
   "You're welcome.  You kept it at just the right temperature." I grinned. 
She grinned back, and suddenly leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the 
cheek.  
   "Bye." she whispered again, and climbed off the bus.  I watched her run 
toward her house, rushing to get out of the cold again.  
  
                                        ****  
  
   I spent the couple of weeks thinking about what had happened, trying to
figure out how I had somehow fallen in love with a fourteen year old girl.  
Yes, I felt I loved her, no matter how odd it seemed that a person could 
love someone after a single hour of holding them.  Don't ask me to explain 
it, I couldn't explain it myself, much less anyone else.
   She was four years younger than I was, for god sake!  Four years might 
not make much difference to someone in their twenties, but a senior dating 
an eighth grader was considered criminal by many, dubious at best. My 
father was among the first category, despite the six year age difference 
between my mother and father when they were
married.  I was sure that Jenny's parents also fitted the "criminal" 
category.  The morals of people seem to run in all the same directions in a 
small town, and the one we lived in was no exception.

   I still saw her every day on the bus, but now when she saw me she would 
smile at me and say hello.  I began to watch her more, and she caught me 
more often, each time greeted with a warm smile.  I started to recognize 
her moods, when she was happy, when she had had a bad day... it was driving 
me crazy thinking about her all the time.  I
couldn't go on the way I was going.  I knew I had to do something about it, 
but was stopped by the fear of the reactions of her or my parents, as well 
as the general public.
   Hell, I was just scared that she didn't feel the same way I did and only 
saw me as a friend, or possibly just the nice guy who shared a coat with 
her once.  

   I was buried in a book one day when Jenny boarded the bus. I didn't 
notice her until I happened to glance in her direction.  
   The look on her face tugged at my heart.  She was curled up in one of 
the seats across from me, looking alone and forlorn.  She had her knees 
pulled up to her chest, head resting on her arms, eyes hidden from view.  I 
could tell she was very close to crying just by looking at her.  
   Knowing what it would look like but finally not giving a damn one way or
another, I stepped across the aisle and slid into the seat beside her.  I 
gently placed a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Jenny?  Are you all 
right?" I could feel her body shaking under my hand.  The shaking grew 
worse as my words registered and she fell apart
completely, loud sobs wracking her body.  I slid closer with concern. She 
wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest, her tears 
soaking through my thin cotton shirt in seconds. I was surprised, but 
reflexes kicked in; I picked her up and wrapped my arms around her, trying 
to comfort her.  
   "What am I going to do?" she sobbed. "I can't go home, not now... not 
now that she knows."  
   "Don't worry, it'll be fine. We'll work something out." I said, not 
knowing what she was talking about, but being more concerned about getting 
her calmed down than dealing with what her problem was at the moment.  
   "But how?  What will I do?"  
   "What will we do." I said firmly.  "I'm not leaving you like this." I 
definitely wasn't.  I wouldn't leave anyone in the state she was in, much 
less someone that I felt as strongly for as I did her.  
   "Why?  You don't even know me... if you knew, you wouldn't even want to 
be near me, much less help."  
   "I've helped you before, haven't I?  Trust me.  We'll deal with whatever 
is wrong."  (Taking on a lot for someone I barely knew?  Sure, but I've 
always been a soft one for someone in tears.  It's gotten me in a lot of 
trouble over the years.  But usually it ends up being worth it.  In this 
case, it certainly was.)
   She didn't reply, but her sobs began to slow some, and soon faded to an 
occasional gasping shudder. She stayed huddled in my arms as if trying to 
avoid the world.
  
   We rode the rest of the way to my house like that.  When we approached 
her stop I waved the bus driver on, thankful that Jenny's younger sister 
wasn't on.  Within a few minutes the bus slowed to a stop in front of the 
driveway to my house, and I helped Jenny up.  She got shakily to her feet, 
gripping my arm for both physical and mental support.
   Ignoring the odd looks from the driver and other passengers, we climbed 
down the steps of the bus, and walked slowly to the front door.  Unlocking 
it, we stepped into the relatively warm living room from the cold January 
air.  
   I led her to the overstuffed couch that sat near the large fireplace, and
she slumped into it, staring blankly out of the bay window and into the 
woods
beyond.  I quickly piled a few logs onto the few embers left of the morning
fire and soon the room was filled with warm flickering light.  Night was
beginning to fall in the early January fashion, making the shadows of the
furniture grow slowly longer.  
   "Just a second, I'm going to make us a little hot chocolate." I said.  
She didn't respond and just kept looking out the window.  I looked at her 
worriedly, and hurried to the nearby kitchen.  I was a bit nervous about 
having her in my house, so few people had been there in the years prior to 
then, but at the moment I was more worried about her than about how I felt. 
 I quickly microwaved some water and added the instant cocoa mix. Not as 
good as homemade, but I was in a hurry.  
   When I walked back into the living room I saw that little had changed, 
other than her gaze had shifted from the window to the fire.  I sunk slowly 
on to the couch
beside her, balancing the nearly full mugs in my hands.  I offered
one to her, but she didn't seem to notice, so I took her hands and
wrapped them around the mug.  Her fingers were cold, and she made no move
 to drink.  
   "Just drink a little, please?  You might feel better." she turned 
towards me, and I felt a tearing sensation in my chest as I saw the look in 
her eyes, wondering what could make someone feel so alone.  But she took a 
sip, then a long drink as it warmed her insides.
   "Look, I meant it when I said 'we', Jenny.  Whatever is wrong, I'll help 
you through it."  
   "Help me?  If you knew what this was about, you'd hate me... everyone 
else who knows does.  My Mom won't let me come back because of it..."
   'Ah,' I thought to myself.  'No wonder she can't go home, her parents 
are angry with
her.'
   "I doubt that.  I've heard and read a lot of weird things in my time, 
and I've never hated anyone for it.  Just tell me and see."  
   "NO!" she almost yelled. "You're the only person who... has been nice to 
me.  No one at school... and especially not her..." she trailed off.  I was 
wondering who "her" was, but I obviously couldn't ask her now, not while 
she was in this state of near panic.  
  "Ok, ok," I said soothingly.  "You don't have to tell me anything."  She 
at least relaxed somewhat upon hearing this.
   "Well, since you say you can't go home, you'll just have to stay here 
for a while." I said matter of factly.  
   "You'd let me stay?" she said hopefully, a glimmer of hope shining in 
her eyes.  "What about your parents?"  
   "Well, Mom... left... years ago, and my Dad's out of town for a few 
weeks.  Even if you need to stay longer than that, I can arrange it.  My 
Dad pretty much leaves me alone, and since he's only here about a month 
total a year..."  
   Her immediate problem solved, Jenny seemed to liven up a little.  
   "Thank you so much, Alex." she said and hugged me.  I basked in the glow 
of her hug.  "Ok, now that that's taken care of!" I said cheerfully, that 
simple contact with her raising my spirits considerably. "Let's get 
something to eat and turn in early.  I think we both need it." I stated as 
she gave a wide yawn.
   "Yeah, sure." she said sleepily, the warm cocoa having it's desired 
effect of relaxing her a bit.
   "I'll go dig out some leftovers or something, then."  
   "Let me help, I'm at least good at using a microwave." she smiled, and I 
was glad to see she was cheering up.  
   "I'm not sure about this microwave.  My Dad bought a new one after he 
blew
up the old one, and it's pretty complicated."  
   "Blew up the old one?" she asked, wide eyed.  
   "Yeah, he wanted hot apple pie, and forgot that the tin was made of 
aluminum.  Walked away to read in his study, and left it until he was 
reminded when the smoke alarm went off."  I was trying to keep a straight 
face, but her expression was to much.  I burst out laughing.  
   Her open-mouthed look of surprise faded.  "You're joking!" she yelled, 
and punched me lightly in the shoulder.  I continued to laugh as I held my 
shoulder, and she started laughing as well. She jumped on me and it turned 
into a free-for-all, my six foot two frame easily holding her off.  We 
ended up a giggling, laughing tangle on the couch, her on top of me, my 
hands gripping her wrists.  We locked eyes, and froze.  
   We were stuck like that for a few seconds.  Then I cleared my throat and 
sat up, easing her slowly back onto the couch.  
   "Yes, well, let's get dinner.  I'm sure you can operate the microwave 
without blowing anything up." I grinned, trying to cover up how flustered I 
actually was, and the trembling I felt inside at being so near to her.  
   "We'll see." she said, giving me another playful punch in the arm.  
   I tried to help her, but she insisted on figuring out the microwave 
herself.  My Dad had destroyed the old one, but not by blowing it up.  He 
managed to somehow spill a cup of coffee into the innards of the microwave. 
 It was an old one, and rather than have it repaired, we replaced it.  The 
new one, as I said, was complex.   When she figured it out
within ten minutes, I was impressed.  I had played with it for half an 
hour, and still had to look in the manual in the end.  
   She heated up some leftover spaghetti while I hunted around for the 
silverware.  With
one person in the house most of the dishes tend to go unwashed, and 
silverware disappears over time.  I managed to hunt down two chipped plates 
and a couple of forks by the time she had finished, and we sat down to eat. 
 
   "How can you handle living way out here, alone so often?" she asked 
between bites.
   "You get used to it.  I've been doing it since I was ten. It's nice, you 
don't have any parents telling you what to do, when to clean up your room, 
or what to wear."  
   "Don't you get lonely?  I mean, it can't be easy to be away from your 
friends, and have no one to talk to."  
   "I don't have many friends." I said flatly, trying to keep my voice free 
of emotion.    Friends?  Me?  Ha!  But I wasn't going to tell her that. "If 
you haven't noticed, I don't talk much." I took another bite of spaghetti 
and smiled.  
   "Yeah, I noticed, but I figured that you just didn't want to talk to a 
bunch of kids years younger than you.  Besides, you're talking now, aren't 
you?"  
   "Yes, well, I know you better now.  It's easier to talk to someone you 
know.  Otherwise, I just don't say anything.  It's easier that way."  
   "Easier, yes, but it sure makes it hard to make friends, especially 
girlfriends." She said, spearing a meatball.
   "Well, that would probably explain why I've never had a girlfriend, 
wouldn't it?" I forced a light tone into my voice as I looked down at my 
plate, swirling the strands of spaghetti around my fork.  
   "You've never had a girlfriend?" she said, incredulously. "How old are 
you anyway?"  
   "Eighteen."  
   "You need to get out more." she said bluntly.
   I shrugged.  "I'm happy the way I am."  
   "Every lonely minute of it?"  
   "I'm not lonely... just alone." I said defensively.
   She sighed, and continued to eat.  
   I finished quickly, and sat watching her eat.  She would wind the 
spaghetti around the fork like a little kid, and then scoop it into her 
mouth.  After each bite she would wipe her mouth daintily on a paper towel. 
 She looked up at me.  
   "What's wrong?" she asked innocently, giving me a questioning look.
   "Nothing." I said quickly.  "I was just thinking about how long it's 
been since anyone besides myself or my father had been in this house."  
   "How long has it been?"  
   "Oh, I'd say seven, eight years." I said offhandedly, leaning back in my 
chair.  
   "That long?"    
   I nodded, and noticed that her plate was empty.  
   "Want a refill?" I asked.  
   "No thanks, I'm full." she said, patting her stomach.  I got up and 
grabbed the plates.  
   "Wait a sec, and I'll grab you some towels so you can take a shower 
before you go to bed." I said.
   "That'd be great." she smiled, looking haggard, at least as haggard as a 
fourteen year old can look.  
   
   I tossed the dishes in the sink and walked back to the dining room where 
she was sitting with her head on her arms resting on the table.  I paused 
for a moment, enjoying the scene and the contrast of the scarred surface of 
the light pine table against her dark hair and fair, pale skin.  I moved 
over to her and touched her on the shoulder. She
gasped in surprise and almost jumped out of the chair.  
   "Easy!  It's just me."  She relaxed.  "Come on, I'll show you where 
everything is."  She nodded and followed me.  
   I climbed the stairs with her close behind me.  Stopping at the 
cupboards where I kept the clean towels, I pulled out a couple for her.  
Then I headed for my Dad's room.  
   "You can sleep here.  It's my Dads room, but he won't be around for a 
while.  We have a guest room too, but it hasn't been used in a long time.  
What I don't use, I don't clean."  I grinned. "Besides, this bed is a lot 
more comfortable."  
   "It'll be fine." she said, looking around the room.  I walked over to 
the chest of drawers and pulled out one of my Dad's T-shirts.  
   "This should work for something to sleep in."  I handed it to her, and 
she held it up against her chest.  
   "I see your Dad is as big as you are." she said, as it drooped to well 
below her knees.   
   "Actually, he's a couple inches taller." I said as I led her across the 
room to the master bath and opened the door.  
   "Take a shower, bath, whatever you like.  My Dad always hated running 
out of hot water, so we have five times as much as we've ever needed.  
Don't worry about running out.  Oh, and toss your clothes out, I'll put 
them in the washer so you have something clean to wear tomorrow.  We'll 
worry about getting you more clothes later."
   "OK, Thanks."  
   "You're welcome." I smiled.  "I'll be in my room if you need anything.  
It's just down the hall, first door on the left."  She nodded and walked 
in, shutting the door.  I wandered back to my room, looking for a book to 
take my mind off the current situation.
   Five minutes later I walked back into the room and grabbed her clothes, 
which were lying on the floor just outside the bathroom door.  Wandering 
down to the laundry room in the basement, I chucked her clothes into the 
washer, added detergent and started it up, slamming the lid and returning 
to my book.  
   I lost track of time, and it was nearly eight thirty when I heard Jenny 
walk in.  I looked up and immediately my mind went numb.  
   Jenny was, in a word, beautiful.  Her long, freshly brushed dark hair 
was glistening from the shower, and I caught a whiff of the soft lavender 
soap that my mother used to use that she must have found somehow.  The long 
white T-shirt billowed around her, falling from there to a few inches above 
her knees where it revealed the rest of her legs.  I felt a blush coming 
on, and tried to fight it with little success.
   "Something wrong?" she asked, leaning against the door frame.
   "Oh, nothing, nothing." I stammered.  "What can I do for you?"  
   "How
 do you work the heater?" she said.  "It's a little cold in there, and I 
wanted to turn up the heat a bit."  
   "Oh, it's on full.  My Dad might have planned ahead for hot water, but 
he underestimated how cold it could get around here.  I'll get you an 
electric blanket."  
   "Ok, that'll work." she said with a shrug.
   Walking past her to the hall closet, I tried to shake the image of her 
from my mind.  I grabbed the blanket, and she followed me back to her room. 
 It was amazing how quickly I had come to think of it as 'her' room.  
   "I can put it on, no problem." she insisted.
   "Yeah, but you'd never find the outlet.  It's a little tricky."
   She shrugged an motioned me towards the bed.  I pulled back the 
comforter and spread the blanket out on top of the top sheet, and then 
pulled the comforter back over the blanket.  Grabbing the control box and 
the plug I got down on my hands and knees, fishing under the bed for the 
outlet that was built into the wall behind the headboard.  I fished for a 
few second, cussing mentally to myself at my Dad for putting the bed in 
front of the only outlet in the room.
   "See, I told you it was hard to find." I smiled weakly up at her, then 
finally found it and  plugged it in.  "There." I said triumphantly, pushing 
the plug home.  Turning on the blanket, I pulled back the covers.  
   "Climb in, and I'll tuck you in." I said.  She smiled at me and climbed 
into bed slowly, giving me a flash of leg that dazzled my eyes and almost 
made me loose what little composure I had left.  Pulling the blankets up 
over her, I tucked her in tight.     "Comfortable?" I asked.  
   "Very." she said sleepily, and yawned.  
   "OK, I'll see you in the morning then." I walked to the door and turned 
out the lights, drawing the door closed until it was open just enough to 
let a little light from the hall in.  
   Walking slowly back to my room, I decided to skip the shower.  I was 
drained from the day's events, and I nearly fell asleep while stepping out 
of my clothes.  I opted to wear the bottoms of an old pair of pajamas, 
considering the company in the house.  I turned out the light, climbed into 
bed, and fell asleep almost immediately.  

                                                 *****
  
   "Alex, can I sleep in here?" a voice said, ringing through my dreams as 
the light clicked on.
   "Huh?" I sat up groggily, blinded by the bedroom light.  "What did you
say?" I could see her blush even through the blinding light.  
   "Well, I was wondering if, well... I don't really want to be alone..." 
her voice seemed to choke off. She seemed near tears.  
   "Bad dream huh?" She nodded.  "Sure, sure." I said, still not quite 
thinking straight, still trying to shake my sleepiness off.  Looking back, 
I don't know
what I would have done if I was fully awake when she asked me that. But I
wasn't, so I said, "Climb on in."  
   "You... don't mind?" she said hesitantly, taking a step towards the bed. 
 
   "No, I don't mind.  It's cold, come on.  Turn out the light first, 
though." I added, still squinting against the light.  She turned off the 
light, and I was blinded again as my semi-adjusted eyes had to adjust to 
full darkness again.  I heard her padding towards me, and then a squeak of 
bedsprings as she sat down.  She leaned back to lie down, and discovered a 
quirk of my bed.  
   "Woah!" she squealed as she rolled toward me, then bumped against me, 
the front of her body pressed against my side. "Interesting bed." she said, 
breathing hard from the adrenaline rush.
   "Yeah, fascinating what happens to a mattress when you sleep in the same 
spot every night for fifteen years." I chuckled.  
   "I like the result, though." she said, laying her head on my chest and 
draping her arm across my stomach.  "I don't know how I'm going to sleep 
with that heart of yours beating all night long, though." she giggled.  
   "I sure hope it'll keep beating, even if it keeps you up." I joked.
   "Don't bet on it." I could almost see her grin even in the dark.
   "Maybe I made a mistake here!" I said, feigning terror.  
   "Don't worry, I won't kill you in your sleep... but I might do something 
else."  
   "Like what?" I asked, interested.  
   "Like THIS!" she cried, and tickled me in the stomach.  I rolled
over in uncontrolled laughter, and she followed.  Once again, I don't know
what I would have done if I had been fully awake, but... I grabbed her
arm, and quickly but gently pulled her hand away, quickly twisting myself to
face her, counterattacking with a tickle to her side.  She rolled
away laughing, then fought back.  We wrestled for a while, then she ended 
up on top again, both of us breathing heavily.  
   "We seem to end up in this position a lot." I said.  
   "Probably because I always win." she said triumphantly.    
   "Ok, so what did you win?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at her, even 
though we could hardly see one another in the dim light from the hallway.
  
   Then she kissed me.   
  
   I was caught by surprise, but quickly responded with equal intensity. A
few seconds later she broke the kiss, both of us breathing hard, but this
time not just from physical activity.  
   "What was that?" I gasped.  
   "My prize."  
   "Really?" I said, considering. "I think you're forgetting something."  
   "What?"  
   "I came in second place."  This time, I kissed her.  I felt her jump 
slightly in surprise, then her tongue came into play, pushing between my 
lips and dancing across the roof of my mouth, then entwined with my mine.  
She started to subtly grind her body against mine.  My hands slid down to 
her waist, holding her gently as we continued the kiss.  A few seconds 
later she relaxed, letting herself settle against my side, letting the kiss 
slide into a warm, easy motion.  Finally she broke away, settling back and 
laying her head on my chest.  I hugged her against me, feeling the rapid 
in-out of her breath slow as she
recovered.  We lay there for a few minutes, resting, while I slowly ran my 
hands up and down her back.  
   "How are you feeling?" I asked tenderly, pushing strands of her hair 
back from her forehead.
   "Sleepy, exhausted, and happy." she murmured.  
   "Quite a list." I murmured back.  She just lifted her head and kissed my 
chest, then settled back down, holding me like I was the last thing keeping 
her from drowning in the ocean of life.
   I lay there, running my fingers through her fine, straight hair, and 
reflected on all that had happened that day, and the weeks before.  I still 
hadn't figured out how I had managed to come from longing for her whenever 
I thought of her to her laying with me in my bed in only a few hours.  But 
who was I to question my good fortune?  It was about time that I had some 
type of good luck.
   Then I started to worry.  What would happen if her parents came looking
for her, or called the police when she didn't show up at home?  I was
significantly older than she was.  What would they do if one of us let slip 
that we'd slept in the same bed all night?  After all, I was eighteen, and 
people being what they were... My heartbeat quickened in panic.  What if 
she woke up in the morning and regretted what had happened?  I was actually 
considering getting up and calling her parents and having them come pick 
her up.  And then she wriggled in my arms, waking from her half-sleep.  
   "Alex, is there something wrong?" she asked, concerned, feeling how 
tense my muscles were beneath her.   
   "Nothing." I responded. "Just thinking."  
   "About what?"  
   "What's going to happen when your parents call the police and have me
arrested."
   "What!" she pulled out of my arms and turned to face me, eyes
wide. "What do you mean, 'arrested'?"  
   "It's just that I think that most people would think the worst if they 
knew we were here together like this."
   "I don't _care_ what the idiots who made up that law think.  I know I 
like what happened, and I intend to continue to be with you." her eyes 
flashed angrily, and then faded.  "That is, if you want me to." she added 
softly, looking into my eyes.  
   "Want you to?  Of course I want you to... I'm just worried."  
   "How can they arrest you if they don't know what happened or where I'm 
at?  I'm not going to tell them."  
   "Okay, I trust you.  But can you do one thing for me?  Call your parents 
and tell them that you're ok and staying with a friend?"  
   A look of fear washed over her face, her eyes brimming with tears. "I 
can't do that! They'd... they'd..."  
   "Easy." I said, not wanting to get her any more upset.  "Can you just 
call an aunt, or something?  Then they can pass on the word."  
   "But what if they trace the call somehow?" she said.  I thought that was 
a little paranoid, but hey, you can never be to careful.  
   "Don't worry.  I know a few tricks from some... earlier activities I was 
involved in a few years ago.  They won't be able to trace it."  
   "Okay.  I'll do it, if you want me to." she hugged me, then gave me 
another deep kiss.
   "You sure know how to change the subject, don't you?" I said after 
coming up for air.
   "Do I?" she asked innocently and sliding up to give me a quick peck on 
the lips, then snuggling up again, her head tucked under my chin.
   I sighed, pulling the covers up tighter around us to ward off the chill, 
my first lesson in learning never to argue with a woman complete.  I 
settled back into enjoying her presence, not knowing how long I'd have her 
in my life.  I felt her breath disturbing
the hairs on my chest, a tickling sensation that was yet another new 
experience for me.  She fell asleep quickly, her exhaustion catching up to 
her.  I raised myself up slightly and looked down at her, lying peacefully 
in my arms.    
   You don't know true loneliness until you've been close to someone after 
all you've ever known is being alone.  Jenny and I were closer than I had 
ever been to anyone, despite our
 short amount of time together, and now I could see how lonely a life I had 
led before she had stumbled into it.  I didn't know how I would deal with 
it after she left.    
   I loved her.  I came to that conclusion and accepted it, no matter how 
silly or sudden it may have seemed to anyone else.  She was part of my 
life, the only person that had been in it for a long time.  I sighed and 
brushed her hair back from her forehead and ran my hand across skin of her 
cheek, tracing the graceful arc of her jaw.  I lay my head next to hers and 
eventually fell asleep.
  
End Chapter Two


Chapter Three
-------------  
  
   I awoke the next morning to the sun shining though the blinds on
the window beside my bed.  It was one of those crystal clear but
freezing cold days, the type only the northwestern states can provide.
   It was cold enough in the room for me to see my breath, but I was lucky
enough to have a delightfully soft bed warmer cuddled up next to me.
   Lying there, I appreciated her warmth.  Running my hand over her
shoulder and down her torso, I let my hand rest on her stomach, feeling her 
breath move in and out.  She fascinated me like no one I had ever known.  
Not that I knew many people.
   Her lips were slightly parted; I kissed her lightly.  Eventually she 
kissed me back slowly coming out of sleep.  By the time we separated she 
was blinking sleepily, smiling up at me.  I smiled back.  
   "Good morning." she said and stretched, breathing deeply in the cold 
air.  
   "Definitely good, I think." 
   "I think so, too." she agreed, moving closer to me and rested her
head on my chest.  She started to play with my sparse chest hair, roughing 
it up and then smoothing it out again.  "Let's just stay here all day."  
   "I like that idea." I smiled. "But we'll have to get up sometime."  
   "As long as it's not right now." she sighed, closing her eyes.
We lay there for a few minutes, enjoying one another's company.  My mind 
wandered to the question that had been bothering me me since she kissed me 
the night before.
   "Jenny, you don't have to answer this, but I need to ask you."
   "What?" she asked.  I felt her muscles tense.
   "Why are you here?  I mean, why did you stay?  You could have left..."  
I sighed.  "What it boils down to is this: why did you kiss me last night?" 
 
   She was silent for a moment, staring at the half closed blinds on the 
window.   
   "I kissed you because you're the only one who has ever seemed to care 
about me, or what happened to me. You gave me your coat, you comforted me.  
And if that wasn't enough, you gave me a place to stay.  You're just so 
kind and I just felt I had to repay you for all you had done somehow." she 
trailed off.  Then I realized the implications of her words.
   "You mean last night... all of it, was just payment?" I asked slowly, 
anger and pain rising in my chest, threatening to choke off my throat. 
"Here I was, thinking you actually felt something for me, and all it 
was..." I couldn't think about it anymore.  I jumped out of bed, only 
pausing long enough to grab my robe, then walked swiftly out of the room 
and down the stairs.  Sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, I 
stared at the cold ashes of the fire, shivering in the freezing air.
   All I could think about was her, my mind buzzing with thoughts of last 
night, not being able to believe that all of what had happened had no real 
love in it.  It was just pity for some lonely nice guy who had never been 
kissed before, much less had a girlfriend.  Now something I had cherished, 
even for just that short time, was gone, taking her with it.  
   I heard the bed squeak upstairs, then the pad of feet on the hardwood of 
the stairs.  I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands as she approached 
the couch, not wanting to look at her, not wanting her to see the pain and 
the tears in my eyes.  She stopped a few feet behind me and stood there 
silently hunting for the right words to say.  I didn't give her the chance.
   "Why?" I asked her.  "Why must everyone who ever gets close to me have 
some other reason for being there?"  I raised my head to stare at the wall 
as tears blurred my eyes.  "No one really cares.  My Dad doesn't, we barely 
speak to each other even when he is here.  My Mom didn't.  My relatives?  
They don't even like having me around, like I'm some burden to them.  You 
don't care either.  I let someone in and they leave, or
hurt me in one way or another.  People wonder why I don't have friends.  
This is why.  It's just not worth the pain."
   I heard a sniff behind me. I turned to see her standing behind me in my 
father's old robe, tears running down her face.  
   "I didn't mean it the way it came out!" she sobbed.  "I do like you, a 
lot.  I've had a, I guess you could call it a crush on you for a long time, 
and then all this happened.  It just seemed so right.  I didn't mean to 
hurt you.  I'll get my things and leave." she turned and ran back up the 
stairs.  
   I was numb for a few moments as her words sank in.  I considered what she
had said.  If she really meant what she said, it meant I had been a total 
ass, jumping to conclusions because I was so sure that anyone who got close 
to me would only hurt me sooner or later.  
   Getting up, I climbed the stairs.  I could hear her crying and followed 
the sound
to my room.
   I couldn't see her when I walked in the door and looked around for the 
source of the sobs.  I found her huddled in a corner, the robe pulled 
tightly around her.  I walked
over to her.  
   "Jenny?" I said gently.  She didn't respond. "I'm sorry for what I said. 
 I misunderstood.  Please don't leave."
   She looked up at me in surprise, her eyes red from crying.  "You want me 
to stay?"  
   "Yes.  You're... very special to me." I said with difficulty. "You are 
the only one who's ever actually wanted to touch me, or be near to me for 
as long as I can remember.  I hadn't even had so much as a pat on the 
shoulder in over a year before you shared my coat.  When you've been alone 
as long as I have, you become afraid of letting anyone near you.  I let you 
in against my better judgment.  I've been attracted to you since the first 
day I noticed you when you climbed aboard that bus almost two years ago, 
but was afraid of what would happen if I talked to you, what you would 
think, what others would think.  What I'm trying to say Jenny is that I 
think I love you."  
   "You what?" she said in shock, looking up at me with her face streaked 
with tears.  I collapsed against the wall and slid down until I was sitting 
a few feet away from her.  
   "I... love you.  Don't ask me how I could come to love you in such a 
short time, but I have." I said while staring at the floor, afraid to look 
at her.  Afraid of rejection.
   "Really?" she got up and sat down next to me. "You love me?"  The tone 
of her voice was was a mix of amazement and disbelief.
   "Yes." I sighed, finally looking at her, expecting to see rejection and 
incredulity.     Instead she started to cry again, wrapping her arms around 
me and burying her face in my chest.  "Thank you." she sobbed.  
   I hugged her to me, amazed but happy to not have been rejected.  I 
stroked her back, tears dripping out of my eyes and soaking into her hair.  
   "So you'll stay?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.  
   "Stay?  I couldn't have left if I wanted to.  I don't know where you put 
my clothes." she said through the tears. I tried to keep my face straight, 
but I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing.  She joined me and soon 
we were a laughing, crying heap in the corner of the room.  I never wanted 
it to end.  
   
                                                  *****  
  
   Fifteen minutes later, she was still cuddled up in my arms, still 
sitting in that same corner.  It was cold and uncomfortable, but neither of 
us wanted to move and break the warmth and love flowing through our 
embrace.  When we both began to shiver despite our shared body warmth, I 
decided it was time to move.  
   "What do you say we get up and catch a quick shower, and then eat 
breakfast?" I asked her.  
   "Sounds good to me." She hopped up, and I followed.    
   "You get take the first shower.  I need to toss your clothes into the 
dryer so you have something more to wear than just that ratty old robe."  
   "What, don't you think I look beautiful?" she said, doing her best to 
pose provocatively.
   "Well, when you wear it that way..."  
   "If I wore it like this in public I'd be arrested for indecent 
exposure." she cut me off and grinned.  
   "I'd visit you in prison." I said, hugging her against me.  We kissed. I 
held the embrace for a few seconds.  
   "I love you too." she whispered into my ear, then ran off in the 
direction of the master bathroom, her hair flying out behind her.  
   I stood there, stunned.  I knew she meant it.  I could sense that she 
did.  I almost danced my way to the basement.  Tossing her clothes into the 
dryer, I ran back upstairs.  I got a fire going, stoking it high with wood, 
trying to beat back the cold in the house.  After I had a good roaring fire 
going, I headed upstairs to see if Jenny was finished yet.
   I could hear the water running as I approached the bathroom; I sat on 
the bed, waiting for her to finish.  
   Five minutes later the water was still running.  Finally I walked up to 
the door and knocked, yelling playfully above the sound of rushing water, 
"Hey you, fish girl!  Some of us are freezing out here and would like 
showers too!"
   Apparently she had heard me, as I heard the shower door slide open.  A 
few seconds later, the door opened, revealing Jenny in a manner of dress, 
or rather lack of it, that made my jaw drop open, my face flushing bright 
red.
   Jenny noted my look, obviously restrained an urge to laugh, and said, 
"Well?  Do I look like a fish to you?"
   I tried to say "Certainly not!" but what came out was
 more like, "Unganagah" as my mouth was refusing to work correctly.  
   She giggled. "Alex, you didn't strike me as a prude." she said, her tone 
of voice obviously teasing.
   I finally managed to stammer something.  "I'm not a prude, I'm just 
surprised is all."
   She sighed.  "Alex, if we're going to live here together, and if you 
really mean what you said about loving me, why should I worry about what I 
wear or don't wear around you?"  
   I was quickly learning that Jenny had no idea what "body shyness" and 
"modesty" meant.
   "I'm not complaining Jenny, this is just rather sudden, and, umm..."
   "You mean you've never seen anyone nude before." she stated flatly.
   "Umm, no, not really." I admitted, blushing.
   "Then it's time you learned that nudity doesn't always imply sex.  
Sometimes skin is just skin."  
   I nodded dumbly.
   "So," she continued, "Come in here with me, or stay out, but I'm 
freezing!"  She held out her hand to me.  I took it hesitantly, and she 
started to pull me into the bathroom.  I gave little resistance, my mind 
still not quite fitting around the attitudes of this person who had just 
stumbled into my life.

   With the bathroom door closed, we were immersed in a steam bath.  As I 
soon learned, Jenny liked her showers scaldingly hot.  She walked over to 
the shower and climbed back in, stepping under the shower nozzle.  The 
water slicked back her hair, and she turned to look at me.
   "So are you going to come in or are you just going to watch?" she asked.
   "Uh, I'm not sure." I mumbled, trying to keep from blushing again.  She 
sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if thinking 'What am I going to do 
with this guy?', then stepped out from the shower, and gave me a hug, 
quickly soaking the clothes I wore.
   "Now," she said firmly, "You either sit there in your wet chilly 
clothes, or you come join me in the nice hot shower.  I don't bite and I 
won't laugh at you.  So come on."
   I stood there for a moment, then giving in to her looks and prodding, 
undressed slowly and shyly.
   As she promised, she didn't laugh, though she did give me an appraising 
look up and down.  Apparently I met her standards since she smiled and 
pulled me into the shower with her.  I quickly learned that having someone 
to wash your back in the shower was a pleasant experience, and ask she 
said, nudity didn't always mean sex.  Even if the person in the shower is 
the most beautiful person you've ever seen.

   A few minutes later we stepped out of the shower.  We dried each other 
off, and I tossed the towels in the customary corner of the bathroom to be 
picked up whenever I got around to doing a load of laundry.  
   "I see I'm going to have to house train you." she said, eyeing the 
sizable stack of mildew covered towels.  I shrugged and walked out the door 
and turning into my room and began to get dressed while she stood watching 
me.  It's amazing how quickly body shyness can disappear around the right 
woman.
   "Where are my clothes?  I can't just walk around nude all day." she said 
impatiently.  
   "Why not?  I prefer my women to be nude and barefoot.  Makes them easier 
to manage." I said, fighting to keep a straight face while stepping into a 
pair of jeans.  I could almost hear her teeth grinding from across the 
room.  I guffawed as I turned and saw the expression on her face.  
   "That's twice I got you." I laughed.  I stumbled as I tried to pull up 
my pants and fell backwards onto the bed, still laughing.   
   Up until then she had just stood there glowering at me, but when I fell 
over her face melted into a grin. She walked over and lay down beside me.  
   "You may be a clumsy sexist pig, but I still love you." She laughed and 
kissed my cheek.  She rested her head on her arm and looked at me. I gazed 
back, aglow inside at her saying she loved me, memorizing every detail of 
her face.
   My eyes drifted into hers and stopped.  We stared at each other, 
enjoying the closeness and the quiet of the moment.  Then my stomach 
rumbled, breaking the silence.  
   "I guess we'd better go get something to eat." she said, smirking and 
looking at my stomach.
   "And get your clothes." I reminded her.  
   "Yes.  I have to admit that this is pretty comfortable, but damn cold."  
She rolled onto her back and stretched, then relaxed with her hands resting 
above her head.  Once again I shook my head at her brazenness.
   "How do I look?" she asked with a lazy smile.
   "Just wait a second while I roll my tongue back in."
   She laughed and rolled off the bed.
   I was amazed at her change in attitude, though later I realized that she 
was pushing my limits, trying to figure out when or if I'd crack and call 
her names or hate her for her attitudes.  I don't think she was doing it 
consciously, and despite her maturity for her age, she was still scared of 
rejection, the same as I was.  She'd been hurt badly in the past by people 
who didn't understand her, and she was scared to death I'd end up the same 
way.  But at the time, I didn't know her well to understand this, so I just 
shook my head and kept going.
   "Let me get my pants up."  I stood up and almost fell over again.  Jenny 
giggled.  Eventually I managed to get my pants on, and we headed for the 
basement.
  
End Chapter Three
  

Chapter Four
------------  
  
   A few minutes later I was thumbing through a cookbook looking for the 
pancakes recipe.  Jenny was fishing through the fridge searching for eggs.  
   "You know that the expiration date on your milk was two months ago?"  
   "Really?" I asked, "I don't drink much milk.  Does it smell sour?"  She 
grimaced at me, and I grinned.  "Don't worry, I don't get much of a chance 
to shop around here, so I buy in bulk. There's a freezer out in the garage 
that I keep it in until I need it.  I took that gallon out a few days ago." 
 I dumped the needed ingredients into a bowl and turned on the mixer, then 
leaned against the counter.  
   "Ah.  So when do you go shopping?" She grabbed a carton of eggs from 
where it had been hiding behind an empty jar of pickles.  
   "Every couple of months.  I eat a lot of canned stuff.  Meat and
other stuff that goes bad goes in the freezer."  
   "So how old are these eggs?" she asked as she opened the carton.
   "Not too old.  A farmer down the road a ways drops off a dozen or so 
every couple of weeks."  
   "Nice setup you got here.  No wonder you don't see many people.  You 
never get out."  
   "Just the way I like it.  The wonders of mail order.  Toss me a couple 
of those eggs." She did so and I cracked them into the mixing bowl.  Then 
she broke a couple more into a frying pan and turned on the burner.  That 
done, she turned and looked at me.
   "So, you've been pretty much alone out here for almost ten years.  You 
have no friends.  You don't have any family you care for.  How can you love 
me?  I'm surprised you know what love is."  
   "A person knows.  At least I know.  I've been loved before, just not for 
a long time."  I turned off the mixer and plugged in the waffle iron.  
   "Your father doesn't love you?" she asked.  
   "How can he love someone he hasn't seen for more than two days at a time 
in eighteen years?  Besides, I don't love him."  
   "What about your mother?" she asked gently.  My hands gripped the 
counter edge tightly and it became hard to talk.  
   "My mother... left... when I was ten.  She couldn't take having him 
around so rarely.  She left one night when my father was away.  I woke up 
the next morning and she was gone."  I managed to choke out.  I couldn't 
manage to admit the truth to myself, much less to her at that point.
   "She just left you there, when you were ten?" she said, horrified.  
   "It didn't matter much to me.  I had been taking care of myself since I 
was eight, anyway.  All she was interested in was her soap operas and talk 
shows.  My Dad found me a couple weeks later, sitting in the living room 
reading a book."  I stopped and sighed, releasing the counter.  "It doesn't 
matter.  It's all in the past now."  
   She turned off the burner and hugged me.  "I'm sorry."  
   "Don't be. It's pain so old it's little more than an ache now."  
   "It's still there, though." she murmured into my chest.  
   "Pain like that never goes away entirely.  You just learn to live with 
it."  I let her go and turned to the waffle iron. "Let's get this finished, 
I'm starving."  
  
   We sat down to breakfast a half hour later; it was more of a brunch than 
anything else  since it was well after 11am.  The sun was shining through 
open curtains on the window beside the table.  The sun reflected off 
Jenny's hair, making it shine in different patterns as her head moved in 
rhythm to her bites.
   "You know a lot about me Jenny, and I know next to nothing about you." I 
asked, watching her eat.
   "There's nothing much to say.  I have a younger sister.  My parents are 
really religious, but I never cared much for it.  I guess I saw my parents 
blindly following an old book and a myth and decided it wasn't for me.  
They're pretty strict.  I'm kinda the black sheep of the family, to tell 
you the truth.  I'm always off in a corner doing my own thing, with friends 
my parents don't approve of because they aren't religious."  
   "I'm sure they'd be thrilled with me." I said wryly.  "My grandparents 
tried to get me to go to church with a them a few years back.  Let's just 
say that the other church members and I didn't get along to well.  I ended 
up taking a swing at one of them when they tried to force me to do 
something I didn't want to do, and that was that."  
   "If I did something like that, my parents would disown me.  With what 
happened, I wish I had slugged a few." she grinned at me.  
   "So what did happen?" I asked, trying my best to ask casually.  Her face 
fell immediately and she set down her fork as if she was no longer hungry.
   "I'm sorry.  You don't have to answer
 that, I shouldn't have asked."  
   "No, no.  I think you have a right to know, with all that has happened.  
I just hope you understand.  No one else has.  But if anyone can 
understand, it will have to be you."  She leaned back in her chair and 
looked at the ceiling, avoiding my eyes.  
   "I was staying the night over at a friends house last weekend.  We were 
ready for bed, and we were both laying in bed talking and watching the TV 
she has in her room.  Well, we started talking about some boys at school, 
and we started talking about kissing and such.  My friend had kissed 
someone before, I hadn't." she looked down at me and smiled, "Well, at 
least until last night." she turned back to looking at the ceiling.  "So I 
was curious about it, and was worried about doing it right whenever it 
happened, so she offered to show me how to do it.  I thought she meant 
she'd show me using a pillow or something, so I said sure.  But she leaned 
over and kissed me on the lips.  I was shocked of course, but she's a 
really good friend so I let her show me how.  We were really getting into 
it when one of her little brothers walked in without knocking.  He stared 
at us for a second, and then turned around and walked out without a word.  
We panicked for a few minutes, but when her parents didn't come barging in 
yelling and screaming, we
figured it was OK and he'd not tell anyone.
   "Then a few days later rumors about me and her being lesbians started 
floating around school.  We of course denied it, but rumors get around.  
Then yesterday morning at school my Mom called the school and demanded to 
talk to me.  So they called me up.
   "When I got on the phone she started screaming at me..."  She choked up 
and couldn't go on, tears were dripping down her face.  I got up and hugged 
her.   
   "There was nothing wrong with what you did Jenny, no matter what your 
parents may think.  I don't think what you did was wrong.  It was perfectly 
natural, something a lot of girls do.  If anyone needs to be yelled at, it 
should be your parents and the others for making you feel this way."  
   "You don't think I'm sick, or need help, or anything like that?" she 
gasped through her tears.  
   "Just because a lot of people think something is wrong doesn't mean that 
it is." I told her firmly.  "Besides, if you're looking for proof that you 
aren't a lesbian, remember last night, or this morning.  You obviously 
enjoyed kissing me, after all."  
   "Tell that to my parents." she sniffed.  
   "I doubt it would help.  Your parents don't seem to trust you very much, 
considering they took a rumor like that at face value."
   "You wouldn't believe the names she called me.  I didn't even think she 
knew those words." she shivered.  
   "Hate or fear of someone or something different is a failing of our 
species, especially in the overly religious and the uneducated.  It brings 
out the worst in people."  
   "So what am I going to do?"  
   "Stay here, I'm not going to throw you out.  Wait for your parents to 
cool down, if they do. I doubt there is a way to get through to them, 
though.  If they care more about you than their religion or moral beliefs, 
they will accept you as you are.  Or at least what they think you are.  If 
not you're better off without them, at least if they continue to be as 
abusive as your mother has."
   "But I can't stay here forever.  Your Dad will come back eventually."  
   "Don't worry about my father.  I can deal with him, I have before.  
We'll work something out.  I'm not turning you over to child protective 
services, especially not in this town. You'd be tossed in a foster home 
until you're eighteen, and I couldn't bear that." 
   She wrapped her arms around me, "One more thing I want to know." she 
said, looking up at me.   
   "What's that?"  
   "How did I get lucky enough to end up with you?"
   "I don't know.  Not many guys are as intelligent, witty, or as handsome 
as I am." I joked.
   "Oh, and you're not self-absorbed or egotistical in the least." she 
giggled, laying her head against my chest.  I slowly started to stoke her 
hair.  
   "I see you're feeling better." I said.   
   "A little. Just hold me a while longer."  

   It was the least I could do.  
  
End Chapter Four


  
Chapter Five
------------  
  
   By the time we separated the food was long cold.  Since neither of us
were hungry anymore, so we cleaned up.  When I started to dump the
dishes into the sink, she stopped me.  
   "There's a dishwasher there, why don't you use it?" she asked.  
   "Out of soap.  Besides, if we need dishes we can just wash some
of the ones over there." I said, waving my hand in the direction of
the molding stack of dishes on the counter.  
   "You are a true bachelor." she said, wrinkling her nose at the
smell of rotting food emanating from the dishes.  
   "You look cute when you wrinkle your nose like that." I said, taking her 
up in my arms and kissing her.  
   "No way, you're not getting out of it that easy." she smiled up at me.  
"But I enjoyed your attempt."  I let her go in defeat and began loading the 
dishwasher.  
   "From freedom to marriage in less than 24 hours." I groaned 
melodramatically.  
   "I wish I'd brought my whip." she said thoughtfully.  "I guess I can 
make do with a belt." she grinned at me.
   "No thanks, I'm not into bondage.  I don't mind water sports though." I 
grinned back at her.  
   "Water sports?  What are... Oh!" realization dawned on her.  "Don't even
think about it." she warned.  I just snickered.  
   "Don't worry Jenny.  Your naivet  is one of your best features."  
   "Oh, and you aren't naive?  You probably read all you know about sex in 
your Dad's old Penthouse magazines or something."  
   "No fair peeking under my mattress." I said, scraping what looked like 
semi-alive fried chicken off of a plate.  
   "You do have some?" she asked in surprise.  
   "Used to.  I got bored with 'em." I said offhandedly.  She nodded, 
looking almost disappointed.
   "Well, let's hurry up and finish those dishes." she said, turning back 
to the task at hand.
   "Why?" I groaned.  
   "Because if we don't that pile of dishes is going to spawn a new strain 
of bacteria that will wipe out half the people in Oregon."  
   "Sounds good to me." I yawned.  
   "Oh, come on." she said, looking at me exasperatedly.  "Then after this 
I want to get all the dirty clothes and things and put them in the washer." 
 
   "Why?"  
   "Because I grew up in a clean house and this one is driving me nuts!" 
she growled in frustration.  
   "Why didn't you just say so?" I said with a grin, reaching for more 
dishes to be scraped clean of half-dried, half-rotted food.
   "Men!" she sighed, plopping down on a chair and putting her face in her 
hands.  I pulled up a chair next to her.
   "Listen Jenny, this is different for me.  I've never had to worry about 
anyone else.  Be patient and put up with my quirks.  I'll try to adjust, 
but I won't put up with someone controlling my life."  
   "I'm not!  I'm just trying to... straighten you out a little."  
   "Ok, ok.  I admit that I'm not the cleanest person in the world.  I'll 
try to change that.  Besides, I can't have you go nuts on me.  If you did, 
I'd have a lot more leftovers of my cooking again. I don't think I'd be 
able to stand it." I grinned at her.
   She snickered.  "I don't want to put you through that torture again."  
   "Neither do I.  Let's get the dishes, and I'll see if I can figure out a 
way to get some soap for the damn dishwasher."   
  
   It took only a few minutes longer to load the dishwasher, and I quickly 
figured out that  I was low on more than just dishwasher detergent.  I had 
two people to feed now, and my supplies were already somewhat depleted 
since my last shopping trip had been quite some time before.
   "How about a shopping trip?" I asked as we loaded the last of the dishes 
into the washer.  
   "Great.  But how do we get there?  Do you have a car?" she saw the look 
on my face, then amended herself quickly, "Never mind that, do you even 
have a license?"  
   "Who needs a license?  I just borrow the neighbor's car every few months 
to pick some things up.  I think I can handle a twenty mile round trip on 
back roads."  
   "This car has seat belts, right?" she asked nervously.  
   "Your confidence in me is reassuring."  
   "My confidence in you as a person is strong.  My confidence in you as a 
driver is a little limited."  
   "Don't worry, I rarely top a speed of 120." I grinned.  
   "I think I'll stay here." she said flatly, taking the sting out of the 
statement with a smirk.
   "Aw, come on.  You can't wear those clothes forever.  I don't mind you 
running around nude, but I think other people would start to notice." I 
winked at her.
   She rolled her eyes at me, but I ignored her and went to call Mr. 
Walker, the farmer a
half mile down the road.  We weren't the best of friends, but we got along. 
 His wife felt sorry for me and was always dropping off things, a 
casserole, a pie, things like that.  The eggs were partly because of this, 
although I always paid her.  They were willing to loan me the car as long 
as I didn't wreck it and filled up the gas tank before returning it.  
   After the customary greetings, he said it was fine for me to borrow the 
car as he and his wife weren't planning to use it until that Sunday for 
church.  I thanked him and told Jenny I'd be back in fifteen minutes with 
the car.  I don't know what they would have thought if I had shown up with 
her, but I didn't want to find out.  
   When I arrived at the Walker's house, I was greeted warmly as usual by 
the elderly couple.  I turned down a piece of pie, saying I had to get into 
town and get everything I needed before sundown, as I didn't want to have 
to drive in the dark.  I hopped in the
clunky old 1970's era Ford sedan and drove back to pick up Jenny.
   She walked out after I honked, looking unsure in her jeans and jacket.  
She had pulled her hair back in a ponytail, making her look even younger 
than she actually was.  She opened the door and climbed in, moving an old 
candy wrapper from the passenger seat.  
   "Are you sure this thing will make it there and back?" she said, eyeing 
the cracked windshield and 8-track stereo.  
   "Made it before.  Of course, we can't go into town.  If we're seen 
together your parents will hear about it within hours, and I think it's a 
little too soon to let them know where you are."  
   "So where are we going?"  
   "It's not much further to Sandfield.  I go there when I don't feel like 
being eyeballed by half the people in town."  Jenny nodded and fastened her 
seat belt, pulling it tight around her waist.  
   "I'm guessing this car doesn't have airbags?" she asked.  
   "Only when Mr. Walker gives Mayor Jackson a ride to church." I said, 
pulling out of the driveway onto the main road.  
   She laughed.   "If you think he's bad, you should see Judge Williams."  
   "I've never seen him.  I only saw the Mayor last 4th of July during one 
of his speeches.  My Dad dragged me out for one of his 'I'm guilty for 
being away so much' father and son outings."  
   We spent the rest of the thirty minute drive swapping family stories.  I 
had relatively few to tell, but she easily filled in the gap.  I was almost 
in tears by the time we crossed the Sandfield city limits after she told 
one particular story about how her Grandmother had chewed out the Mayor in 
the middle of a speech for using the word 'hell' in front of 'the 
impressionable children'.  We slipped into a comfortable silence as we 
drove down the streets of downtown Sandfield.  With over 100,000 people, 
Sandfield was the largest city or town within a two hundred mile radius.  
This also meant it was the only place
within two hundred miles that you could see one of the big chain retail 
stores.  I pulled into the parking lot of one of the larger shopping 
centers and quickly found a space to park.  
   "First up, getting you some new clothes." I said, opening the door.  
   "Are you sure?  What about the money?" she asked worriedly.  
   "Don't worry.  Joint bank account.  I balance the checkbook as well.  My 
Dad keeps his credit cards and check book, I take care of the bills when 
his paycheck arrives.  Besides, I haven't used any of my allowance in the 
last two months.  I think I can afford it."
   She still looked uncertain.  
   "Come on, I don't know of any better way to spend it.  If you don't, 
you'll end up naked, and I'll end up with a mattress stuffed with money.  
Not that I don't mind you naked, but it'd be a little embarrassing for you 
to go out in public." I grinned.  
   "Ok." she sighed resignedly, climbing out of the car.  I walked over and 
wrapped my arm around her shoulder.
   "Come on, it'll be fun." I said, walking toward one of the clothing 
stores.  "Besides, I need new clothes too.  We'll both suffer."  
     
   We spent the next few hours wandering the stores.  Jenny picked out a 
few pairs of jeans, blouses, and skirts.  She's the only female I've ever 
heard of that doesn't like looking through clothes.  Of course, it might be 
one of my misconceptions of the female side of our race.  But I doubt it.
   I went to look for some slacks for myself. (I hate jeans.)  She was 
leaning against one of the displays with her eyes closed, waiting for me 
outside one of the dressing rooms.  
   "How are you doing?" I asked, concerned.
   "I'm fine." she said, opening her eyes.  "I was just thinking about 
things.  People.  The future.  The past."  
   "Few people seem to these days.  I'm glad you're not one of them.  Most 
people seem content to watch the world pass by and never think about 
anything."  
   "I've noticed.  People just don't care anymore."  
   "I don't know if it's so much people not caring anymore.  It's more 
about people not seeing things for what they are.  People see a sitcom on 
television and think that's how life is, or should be.  They forget that 
life is more than some zany plot some writer
thought up at two in the morning.  Simpler things like 'will I have my job 
tomorrow' or 'how am I going to pay the next rent check' are foremost on 
most people's minds."  
   She sighed.  "We're not like everyone else, are we?" she asked quietly, 
staring blankly ahead at the lime green wall.  
   "No, we're not." I admitted.
   "It's lonely."  
   "It is.  Alone in a crowd.  Watching people walk past, all with their 
own friends and family."  
   "This is depressing."
   I nodded, "Yeah, it is.  I've got what I need, let's go get something to 
eat."       
   Twenty minutes later we were sitting at a small diner in downtown 
Sandfield.  After ordering we relaxed for a moment, the smell of French 
fries and car exhaust filling our noses.   
   "Boy am I tired." she said, stretching against the cracked vinyl seat of 
the booth.  
   "Well, we've just been running around for the last three hours looking 
for clothes.  We still need to stop for the food supplies.  Oh, and your 
dishwasher soap." I smiled lazily, ignoring her playful kick to my shin.  
   Our food arrived and we dug hungrily into the greasy fries and greasier 
hamburgers.  
   "What's your idea of a perfect woman?" she asked, biting into her 
burger. I almost choked on a gulp of my soda.  
   "Where'd that come from?" I started, my eyes watering from carbonation 
going up my nose from my coke.  
   "I was just curious, that's all."
   "Well..." I said, thinking.  "She would be around five feet tall, a slim 
athletic build, with long dark hair and soft white skin. She would have 
deep brown eyes that I would loose myself in whenever I looked at her.  
She'd be intelligent, and think about things few people think about.  She 
wouldn't be afraid to say what she thought about me or anyone else.  And 
when she would smile, I'd see no one else in the room but her."    
   I was treated to one of those smiles as she reached out across the table 
and grabbed my hand. Her small fingers blended with mine.  
   "How can you bee so sweet?" she asked.  I was about to reply when the 
waitress coughed.  
   "Are you ready for your bill?" she asked gruffly, glaring at us. Our 
hands quickly drew back to their proper sides of the table.  
   "Sure.  I'm almost done.  How about you?" I asked Jenny.
   "I'm full." she said, looking nervously up at the waitress.  
   The waitress slapped down the check and walked away.
   "We need to be more careful." I said, pulling out my checkbook.
   "I wish we didn't have to be." she said.
   "So do I.  Come on, let's go.  I want to get back before it gets too 
dark."  
  
   We drove home in silence, each lost in our own thoughts.  We
unloaded our purchases and I went to drop off the car.  I jogged
back to the house.  I had never enjoyed being in the woods after
dark, even on the road.  Too many horror novels I suppose.  
   I was greeted with a blast of warm air as I walked in.  Jenny
had already built up the fire.  From sounds coming from the kitchen,
was now putting away the groceries we had picked up on our way out
of Sandfield.  
   "How's it going?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.  
   "About as well as it can be, especially since I don't know where
anything goes."  
   "Nothing goes in any particular place.  Shove the non-perishables
into the cupboards.  I'll work on putting the meat into the
freezer."  Pulling out one of the ten pound shrink wrapped
slabs of hamburger, I went to work spitting it into meal sized
chunks.  A few minutes later I washed my hands and turned to watch
Jenny as she stacked cans of tuna into one of the cupboards.  I
watched her stretch to reach the top shelf, her T-shirt riding up
just enough for me to see an inch or so of her midriff, her jeans
pulling tighter against her firm little behind. I crept up behind
her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She lowered the can onto
the counter and turned to face me.   
   "What do you think you're doing?" she asked, putting a hand on
my chest.  
   "Kissing you." I said, and pressed my lips against hers. We
kissed hotly for a few seconds then broke for air.  
   "You've been in the candy bars we bought." she said, eyes
twinkling.  
   "Uh oh, she's caught me with my hand in the cookie jar again."  
   "I'm not complaining, I just want another taste."  
   "Oh certainly, madam.  Only the finest for you." I kissed her
again.   
   "We'd better stop before we end up rolling around on the floor of
the kitchen.  I don't recommend it, I haven't swept in several
years.  Let's get this done.  Then we can sit in front of the fire
and...enjoy ourselves."  
   "Just make sure you eat more candy before then." she smiled
impishly at me.  
  
                             *****  
  
   The fire licked at the logs as Jenny and I cuddled on the couch,
enjoying the warmth.  She relaxed against me while I traced the
length of her arm idly, feeling the fine hairs brush against my
fingertips.  
   "I don't think I've ever felt this relaxed around someone."
Jenny said, bringing her arms up and wrapping them around mine.  
   "I've never been around anyone long enough to find out what it's
like to be comfortable around someone." I chuckled.  We slipped
into silence for a few moments.  
   "I feel like some hot chocolate, how about you?" I asked.  
   "Sounds good to me."  
     
   I walked from the kitchen a few minutes later to find her
standing in front of the big bay window.  The snow covered the
trees in a coat of snow, causing their branches to droop towards the
ground.  It was a cold night, no clouds in sight with a partial
moon shining brightly.  
   "Beautiful how the moonlight reflects off the snow like that,
isn't it?" Jenny said absently as I walked up behind her.  Wrapping
my arms around her waist, I handed her a mug.  She wrapped her
fingers around the warm ceramic.
  I sat mine on the sill and hugged her
against me.  Kissing her on the top her head, I breathed deep the musky
scent of her hair.  I watched her in the reflection of the firelight off
the plate glass window.  She had a look in her eyes, far off and haunted.
   "What are you thinking about?" I asked her softly.  
   "Us.  How long this will last.  I know I'll have to talk to them
eventually.  I just don't want this to end, and it scares me."  
   "Everyone has something to fear.  Yours is just a little more
real than most."  
   "Why is mine more real than someone else's?  Do I deserve this?
Not being able to go home, having to be afraid of my parents for
what they might do or say."  A spark of anger and defiance flared
into her eyes, then was dampened again by fear.  
    "I don't know.  Sometimes I wish I believed in god, so that I
could deal off things that happen as 'gods will'.  But I don't.  So
I don't have the answers, as much as I wish I did."  
    She sighed heavily and turned away from the window.  I turned
her towards me.  I knelt so I could look into her eyes without her
looking up at me.
    "Jenny, I have come to know you as well as a person can know
another in two short days.  You are more than just a pretty face, as
pretty as your face may be."  I took a deep breath and went
on.  "I've come to appreciate you for your intelligence and
insight into things I never knew anyone besides myself ever thought
about.  I've never met anyone like you, and I love you very, very
much."  I kissed her gently on the lips, and she hugged me.  
   "Thank you." she whispered.  I felt a tear jump from her face to my
neck, running down and soaking into the cotton of my shirt.    
   I held her until she drooped limply in my arms. I picked her up
and lay her on the couch.  She whimpered as I lay down next to her,
then rolled over and snuggled herself up against me. Reaching down,
I grabbed the worn quilt draped over the couch arm. Her hair
fluttered in the gust of air, the ends flipping up to tickle me on
the nose as I drew it over us.  Her warmth soaked through my
clothing, washing over me.  As I slipped slowly into sleep, I
wondered how I was ever going to handle sleeping alone again.  
  
End Chapter Five

  
Chapter Six
-----------  
  
   The next morning I woke up to the sound of a door slamming.  I
figured Jenny had gotten up early, and groggily sank back into the
couch, figuring on getting a few more minutes sleep.  Then a few
things registered in my mind.  One, the fire was out.  Two, there
was a warm, cuddly something laying next to me, and I didn't have a cat.  
   "What the hell is going on here!" a voice demanded.
     
   I recognized that voice.  

   "Dad!" I said in shock and fairly leapt from the couch, turning to where 
he stood in the doorway of the kitchen.  His face was glowing bright red, 
and I swore that I could see wisps of smoke coming out his ears.  
   "I leave for a few days, and I come home to find you, on the couch, with 
a girl!  Is this what you do every time I'm gone?  Answer me!"
   "Dad, I..."  
   "Shut up!  I want this whore out of this house RIGHT NOW!" He roared.  
   A cool wash of rage flowed over me.  My hands trembled with the 
intensity of it, balling into tight fists.  Years of anger and frustration 
overcame me, building up behind that wall of rage.  Jenny was still lying 
on the couch, looking too afraid to move, much less speak.
   My father waited for me to make a move. When I didn't, he took a step 
toward Jenny as if to throw her out himself.  I stepped in front of him.  
    "Don't you dare touch her." I said icily.
    "If you're not going to throw this bitch out, I will!"  He pushed me 
out of the way and went for Jenny again.
   The wall snapped.   
   The anger and frustration vented through my fists, as I launched a punch 
into my father's face.  He stumbled backwards and took a feeble swing at 
me.  I tried to duck it, but his fist still skimmed the side of my face.  I 
landed a punch in his stomach, causing him to double up and fall against 
the wall.  He slid into a sitting position, a dazed look in his eyes and 
blood trickling from his nose. I stood over him panting, fists still 
clenched at my sides. Jenny stood behind us, looking from my Father to me, 
eyes wide, wondering what would happen next.
   "Jenny, go grab a washcloth from the kitchen, and soak it in cold 
water." I panted, trying to keep my voice from wavering.  She nodded ran 
for the kitchen.  I knelt in front of where my Dad lay, dripping blood on 
the floor.  
   "Are you ok?" I asked, regaining my composure.  He nodded, looking at me 
warily.  
   "Good, because if I ever hear you so much as say a bad word about her, I 
will do it again, only next time you won't be conscious.  If you ever hurt 
her in any way, I will kill you in the most painful way I know how." I said 
coldly, my eyes rock hard, finishing just as Jenny walked back in. I took 
the washcloth from her and tossed it to him.
   "Clean yourself up. Jenny and I are going upstairs. I'll come back down 
in a few hours, when we've both had time to cool off." He didn't respond. 
"Let's go." I told Jenny, and wrapped an arm around her.  
  
   Once we were in my room with the door securely locked, I slumped against 
a wall and closed my eyes.  My fists ached as if I had just punched them 
through a plate glass window.
   "Are you all right?" she asked.  
   "Yeah, I'm fine." I said, shaking all over as the adrenaline wore off.
   "You don't look like it."  She stepped toward me and ran her hands over 
my face, stopping at my left cheek. "I don't think you felt it, but he 
managed to hit you once before he fell."  She stood on her toes and kissed 
the developing bruise gently.  "All
better?" she asked with a small smile.  I chuckled and hugged her against 
me.  I couldn't tell who was shaking more, her or me.
   "I'm sorry that that happened.  I didn't expect him home so soon.  He 
didn't catch us in the best position, either."
   "No, he didn't." she paused. "I should thank you, really.  He might have 
hurt me, even if only in anger."
   "Blind rage can come in handy sometimes."  
   "Hmm.  Why am I so tired?  I just barely got up."  
   I glanced at the clock on the dresser.  "Well, it is only six thirty in 
the morning."  
   "That could be it.  We seem to have gotten into the habit of sleeping in 
until ten or eleven."  
   "Well, let's get a few more hours sleep.  He's probably down there in 
his den getting drunk as we speak.  He'll be passed out within an hour and 
sleep longer than we will."  
   She agreed, and we tumbled into bed.  

                                        *****

     I opened my eyes slowly, feeling warm breath blowing over my face, 
rustling my hair.  Jenny was lying a few inches away, and smiled at me as I 
opened my eyes.  She didn't say anything, but pursed her lips and playfully 
blew air across my face as my eyes focused on hers.
   Lifting a hand, she stroked my cheek with her fingertips, then let it 
drift slowly down to my neck, across my shoulder and down my side.  Her 
gentle touch sent sparks skittering across my skin.  Halting at my thigh, 
she reversed direction and traced the lines of my back.  All this time she 
continued to stare into my eyes, her slight smile staying on her lips.  
Suddenly she stopped and looked at me expectantly.
   Taking her cue, I touched her cheek, then let my my fingers drop, 
tracing jaw line, down across her neck and shoulder, finally ending up with 
my palm gliding over her waist.  From there on, it was a free for all.  We 
caressed, tickled and massaged, our breathing becoming deeper.  The 
coldness of the room seemed to disappear the more we touched one another.  
Finally we kissed one another deeply, holding our lips together until lack 
of oxygen made us break apart, only to kiss again once we caught our 
breath.  
   Our arms wrapped around one another; the kisses, the caresses, the 
loving sighs all faded into a dreamlike blur.  A minute became ten, ten 
minutes became half an hour, half an hour became two.
   Jenny and I made love for the first time that morning.  Perhaps the 
tension of the situation we'd been placed in had pushed us into it; perhaps 
it was the intense need for one another stemming from being alone in a 
world that didn't accept either of us for what we were.  
   I don't know, I didn't want to analyze it then, nor do I now.  I do know 
that neither of us regretted the spur of the moment decision, knowing that 
both of us had been ready or neither of us would have let the other go 
through with it.  Even in the beginning of it all I knew Jenny would never 
intentionally do something to hurt me, and I know she trusted me in the 
same way.
   When it was all over, we lay together under the warm comforter, wrapped 
up in one another's arms and legs, caressing each other in the way only 
lovers can.  My face was nuzzled into the nape of her neck, enjoying her 
shivers every time I nibbled at the sensitive skin with my lips, inhaling 
the shampoo-clean smell of her fine hair.  My hands stroked up and down her 
smooth stomach, doing my best not to tickle, though I did let my finger 
wiggle into her bellybutton from time to time, just to enjoy making her 
giggle and squirm.
   The warm, comforting glow of holding someone you love unconditionally 
has caused many a poet and songwriter to write countless words on the 
subject.  Anyone who has felt that sensation firsthand knows that none of 
those words could ever come close to properly describing the sensations of 
safety, comfort, and belonging that simple skin contact causes between two 
people who truly love one another.

   "How are you doing?" I asked after several minutes of this, lifting 
myself up onto an elbow and stroking her hair.  
   "So... intense." she murmured, twisting around to face me, making sure 
not to break skin contact.
   "You liked it?" I grinned.  
   "What do you think?" she asked, sounding amused.  Shifting upward, she 
kissed me and settled back, nestling her head against my chest.
   "You tired me out." I teased.
   She smiled. "Well, you tired me out too." 
   I smiled back, then glanced at the clock on the wall opposite the bed.  
"By now my Dad will be nursing a hangover and wondering where we are."  
   "Then we'd better get up."  
   "You first."
   She groaned and separated from me, sitting up then tumbling limply onto 
the bed.  
   "I think I'm still a little trembly." she giggled.  
   "Better than me.  I can hardly move."  I glanced at her, then looked 
down at myself.  "One thing is for sure, we both need a shower."
   Stretching in a way that would make a cat jealous, Jenny agreed.  
"Definitely."
   Groaning, I got up and stumbled heavily across the room to where my robe 
hung on the wall on a peg.  I pulled it on as Jenny stretched and climbed 
slowly out of bed  I grabbed my father's borrowed robe and wrapped it 
around her.  She squealed as I playfully picked her up.  "What are you 
doing?" she demanded.  
   "Taking you to the shower."  
   "That's sweet, but I can walk."  
   "Ah, but it's so much more fun to carry you." I grinned as I managed to 
open the door, despite having to fumble with the lock.  The tub in the 
bathroom thankfully doubled as a shower. I didn't really want to risk 
running into my Dad if he had decided to use his room to pass out in.  
   Jenny took off the robe and waited patiently as I got the hot water 
running, then climbed in with me.
   By the time we left the bathroom Jenny and I were wide awake, but not 
looking forward to dealing with my father any more than before.  We dressed 
when we got back to my room, her putting on a light cotton blouse and a 
knee length skirt that she had bought the day before.  When she was ready 
she walked over and hugged me tightly.  
   "Ready to go and see if my Dad is any more cooperative?"  I asked.
   She nodded, giving me one last squeeze before letting go.  "Let's go." 
she said quietly.  
  
   We didn't say anything as we walked out of my room and down the stairs.  
The smell of coffee reached my nose.  My father was sitting at the kitchen 
table, a newspaper spread out in front of him.  He looked up as we walked 
in eyes flicking from me to Jenny, and back again.  His eyes were slightly 
bloodshot and he had the woebegone look of a man who was definitely nursing 
a hangover.   
   "Morning." he said, wincing at the volume of his own voice.  
   "Morning." I answered, not sure what to say.  Jenny stood slightly 
behind me and didn't say anything.
   "There's coffee in the pot if you like." he said uneasily. I nodded, and 
walked toward the counter.  I pulled a mug from the cupboard and poured a 
cup for myself.  I didn't usually drink coffee, but I did so in the 
interests of diplomacy.  Jenny took a mug and went about making herself a 
hot chocolate.  A few minutes later we were all sitting uncomfortably at 
the table, keeping as much distance as possible while trying not to seem 
hostile.  Unable to keep up the tense silence, my Dad spoke first.  
   "I'm not sure what's going on here, but I do know I over reacted this 
morning.  I said some things I shouldn't have.  Especially to you." he 
said, looking at Jenny.  She continued to stare down at her mug.  
   "I shouldn't have hit you like I did.  You made a move towards her that 
I could have dealt with a bit better." I admitted.  "I care a lot for 
Jenny.  You weren't the only one who over reacted this morning."  I looked 
up at him.  "But I meant every word I said."  
   He nodded thoughtfully.  "I can tell you care for her.  I have the 
bruises to prove it."  He grinned wryly.  "You're not the little kid I left 
here all those years ago, are you?"  
   "No, I'm not." I affirmed.
   "Fine.  I'll abide by what you said.  And you, Jenny; you're welcome to 
stay as long as you need to."
   "Thank you." she replied softly.  My father smiled briefly at her and 
stood up, the chair legs scraping against the linoleum floor.  
   "I need to get some work done, so if you'll excuse me."  He walked to 
the kitchen door and paused.  "Alex, can I see you for a minute in the 
den?"  
   I nodded and got up.  Jenny looked at me questioningly.  I gave her a 
reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, and followed my Dad into the den.  A 
half empty bottle of scotch sat on the heavy, old fashioned oak desk.  
After sitting down in his chair, he poured himself a glass, then looked at 
me.
   "Her first name is Jenny, I've figured that out.  What's her last name?  
How do you know her?  Why is she here?" He shot off the questions in rapid 
succession.  I took a moment to think my answers through.  He waited 
patiently, nursing the glass of scotch.  He was always patient -- when it 
suited his needs.  
   "Her last name isn't important.  I met her on the bus to school, and 
she's here because she has no place else to go."
   "What about her parents?"  
   "Her parents... aren't to fond of her at the moment."  
   "Why?"  
   "Why doesn't matter.  She's here."  
   "It matters to me.  A runaway?  She steal something from her parents?" 
He paused for a moment, then said, almost fearfully, "Or is she pregnant?"  
   I stared at him in shock.  My teeth grated.  I was having a hard time 
trying to keep from hitting him again. "Pregnant?  Dad, what do you 
think..."  
   "I don't think, I know." he broke in.  "It was a little hard not to 
know, considering the sounds that were coming from your bedroom just an 
hour or so ago."  
   "What, were you spying on us?" I said angrily.  
   "Spying?  Only if you consider not having earplugs in spying." he said 
disgustedly.
   I glowered at the floor, staring at a knot in the hardwood floor.  "It's 
none of your business what goes on between us." I said stubbornly.
   "Alex, do you know you could go to jail for what you two are doing?  
Just looking at her I can tell she's no where near your age!"  

   "Yes, I know.   We know.  I think it's idiotic that two people that 
care for each other like we do can't be together, whatever their age.  But 
she's not going to tell anyone." I looked up sharply at him. "Are you?"
   "You haven't answered my question yet.  Is she pregnant?"  
   "No." I sighed.  "This morning was the first..." I trailed off.  "Well, 
that's none of your business either."
   "Then why is she here?"  
   "I still say that's no concern of yours.  I'd be betraying her trust if 
I told you.  And frankly, I don't think you'd understand.
   "But she didn't steal anything, and she isn't a runaway, she was pretty 
much kicked out.  For the time being at least.  I couldn't just leave her 
to live on the streets.  We've only really gotten to know each other in the 
last couple of days."  I took a deep breath.
"I love her, Dad.  She feels the same way.  Otherwise, what happened this 
morning never would have happened."  
   He look surprised, then his expression hardened more, if possible.  "How 
do you know you love her?  As far as I know, you've never even gone out on 
a date with another girl.  You sure don't have the base of experience you 
need to be able to know."  
   I sighed, thinking to myself that perhaps I would have had some part of 
that base if he had actually been home more than he was.  Or at least 
showed that he gave a damn every once in a while.  I fought back the 
bitterness I'd thought I'd gotten over years before, and didn't voice my 
thoughts.  Instead, I turned toward the wall, staring, thinking.  Thoughts 
blurred in my head.  My eyes focused on a picture hanging on the wall.  It 
was an old picture of my family, before it fell apart so many years before. 
 I remembered the occasion clearly; it had been taken during one of the few 
times when my father was home and my mother was in a good enough mood to 
move from the couch.  We had gone fishing on one of the local lakes.  
Slowly those blurry memories came into focus.  Memories of happiness and 
belonging rolled across the surface of my mind, then faded as it quivered 
and sank below the surface again.  'So brief are moments of happiness in 
this life.' I thought to myself.
   Bracing myself, I turned toward him again, where he had again been 
patiently waiting, looking at me and swirling his scotch around his glass, 
but thankfully not drinking any more of it.  
   "There have been few times in my life where I have been truly happy.  
One or two of them even involved you, or Mother.  I loved you once, and I 
loved Mom.  Loved you, despite the fact that you were home no more then 
three or four weeks a year; despite that  Mom saw me as little more than a 
person to change the channel on the TV for her when the batteries in the 
remote went dead.  Now I've realized over the last few years that I don't 
love either of you anymore.  
   "I can't remember a single time in my life when I was more happy than 
I've been these last few days with Jenny.  When I look into her eyes, I see 
someone who loves me, not for what I look like, or who I seem to be on the 
outside.  She loves me for who I am, not for what she wishes I was.
   "When I look at you, when I look into your eyes, I see nothing more than 
a flicker, a flicker of what once was.  Something that I don't think can 
ever be again."  I turned and strode toward the door.  He didn't stop me, 
seemingly frozen in space, unable to move or speak.
   As I slid the door closed, I felt the emotional chasm between us widen.  
Then the door thumped against the doorjamb, signaling of a final parting 
between two people.  A parting long overdue.  
  
End Chapter Six


Chapter Seven
-------------  

   I walked slowly back to the kitchen where Jenny was still sitting, 
staring out the small window above the kitchen sink.  Outside it was 
lightly snowing, the flakes falling from dark gray overcast skies.
   'Peaceful outside, tormented within.' I thought to myself.
   Jenny looked at me as I plopped tiredly into the chair next to her. 
"What did you talk about?" she asked.
   "Me.  You.  He asked why you couldn't go home."  I took a deep breath.  
"He asked me if you were pregnant.  He knows about us, Jenny.  Seems we 
weren't as careful as we should have been this morning."  She looked 
panicked.  "Don't worry.  I don't think he's going to tell anyone." I 
reassured her.  "At least I hope not.  It depends on how he deals with the 
last few words I said."
   "You told him how you felt about him?  What happened after that?" she 
asked, wide eyed.
   "He didn't say anything.  He just sat there, looking stunned."
   "I'm sorry I caused all these problems for you." she said sadly, 
swirling the lukewarm hot chocolate around the mug, watching the milky 
froth swirl around the rim.  
   "It wasn't you.  All this has been a long time building up.  I'm a 
little relieved that it's over."  
   "What's this 'pregnant' business?" she asked.  
   I snorted.  "It was the only way he could figure out why I would let you 
stay here.  I told you he doesn't know me very well."
   "Obviously not.  He doesn't know how sweet you are." she said with a 
fond smile.
   "Yeah, well I don't let it get out much.  Might ruin my reputation." I 
grinned weakly.  
   Jenny got up and slid onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, 
then kissed me softly on the lips.  "Wouldn't want that to happen.  Some 
other pretty girl might come along and steal you from me."  
    I hugged her then kissed her back.  "To late for anyone else, my heart 
is already snagged by a dark haired girl who's just a little too smart for 
her own good."  
   She smiled and lay her head on my shoulder, her warm breath tickling the 
fine hairs on my neck.  I heard the door to the den slide open, and Jenny 
looked up at me with a questioning look.  I held finger to my lips.  She 
relaxed, eyes falling to half mast, then
closed.  Footsteps paused outside the door, and I could feel my father's 
gaze roll over us.  I thought I heard a faint sigh, and then the sound of 
heavy feet on the creaky stairs.  A few seconds later I heard the door to 
his bedroom close.  
   "I think that's a good sign." I said.  Jenny didn't answer, but 
tightened her grip on me.  I felt as if I was a balloon, held to the ground 
only by a thin string tied around a little girl's wrist.  The wind was 
rising, and god help me if that string broke, or worse, if she let go.  The 
last thread to my family had been broken.  No matter how much she needed 
me, I needed her more; if anything, just to keep my sanity.  

                                 *****  
  
   The next few days were awkward between Jenny, my Father, and myself.  He 
said little to either of us but was always very polite, especially to 
Jenny.  He left two days after the initial confrontation, off on another 
business trip, or so he said.  I thought it was more likely that he 
couldn't take the tension anymore, and decided to move on to greener 
pastures.  I figured it was just as well.
     
   We returned to school the next day.  We were afraid that if we stayed 
out any longer that the principal would start asking uncomfortable 
questions.  I wrote Jenny a note excusing her absences, forging her 
father's signature.  I didn't have to worry about myself.  Most of the 
staff knew about my living arrangements, so I was left alone on the few 
occasions I was absent.  It helped that I was considered rather strange as 
well.
   Jenny told me that I could have a very intense, impassive expression on 
my face when dealing with people I didn't like very well; I suspect that 
this was the expression I had when dealing with the administration of the 
school.  Either way, I nurtured this freedom and tried to avoid skipping 
school, just in case someday I had a reason to stay home without being 
sick.  I was sure I wouldn't be questioned.    
   Jenny and I boarded the bus together, much to the amazement of Jenny's 
little sister.  Her eyes went wide as saucers as she saw me climb the steps 
into the school bus, followed closely by Jenny.
   Jenny sat down beside her sister Amanda, who immediately began talking a 
mile a minute.  I took my usual spot and stared out the window, trying to 
ignore the few whispers spreading through the moist, overheated interior of 
the bus.  A few minutes later Jenny left her sister's seat and moved over 
to mine, bringing a fresh round of whispers.
   She had a blank look on her face, obviously trying to keep her emotions 
in check.  Leaning over, she turned and whispered in my ear.  "She said 
that my parents didn't seem to care that I was gone.  When she asked them 
where I was, they ignored her.  She said they act as if I never existed."  
   I glanced up at her little sister, who was staring at me, eyes still 
wide.  Figuring that I had best be on good terms with Jenny's little 
sister, I smiled and winked at her.  I got the expected reaction; she 
blushed and turned away from me.    
   "Well, at least they didn't call the police and report you missing. If 
they had, it wouldn't be long before they got around to picking you and 
most likely me up after the word gets around that we're back in school.  
How much did you tell her?"  
   "Just that I was staying with a friend."
   "Do you think she's guessed who that 'friend' is yet?"  
   "She's not dumb, of course she's guessed.  She won't tell my parents 
though, even if they would listen.  I have a little dirt on her.  She'd 
rather keep quiet and let me be the only one in trouble."  
   I chuckled.  "Then everything is fine for right now?"
   "I guess so."  She grimaced.  "But I'm not sure about the future."
   "We'll worry about the future when it gets closer."
   She nodded in agreement, and we sat back for the rest of the bus ride.  

   Our school was a combination of the seventh through twelfth grades, the 
population of our small town not warranting a junior high.  The school was 
named after the town founder, Jesse P. Clark.  No one ever called it that, 
though. Most just referred to it simply as 'the high school'.  It housed no 
more than five hundred or so students.  Having been
built back in the 1930's it was, although clean, perpetually too hot or too 
cold, depending of course on the weather at the time.  There was no air 
conditioning, so in the spring and summer months it was stifling.  In the 
winter it occasionally got cold enough to see your breath, but usually it 
was so hot you felt close to heat exhaustion just sitting in class.  Sports 
were nearly nonexistent.  The academics were almost as bad as the sports.  
Most of the children were of the offspring of fifth generation loggers and 
would most likely follow in the footsteps of their mothers and fathers, 
marrying out of high school and having the children that would make up the 
seventh generation of loggers and their wives.
  
   We walked into the old building together, drawing a few curious looks.  
'More fodder for the school rumors.' I thought to myself.  
   Jenny followed me to my locker, then I followed her to hers.  Before we 
parted to go to our different homerooms, I glanced around quickly to make 
sure the coast was clear.  Seeing no one else nearby, I gave her a quick 
peck on the lips.  We smiled at each other, communicating our desire for 
more than just a quick kiss, but we both knew that under the circumstances 
it was impossible.
   "See you at lunch?" I asked.  
   "Of course." she said, doing her best to sound cheery; it seemed forced. 
 I gave her one
final hug and we jogged off for homeroom, both of us looking wistfully over 
our shoulders until the other could no longer be seen.  
     
   That day of school was hell for both of us.  The first hour was the 
longest amount of time we had been apart since Thursday of the previous 
week.  My mind wandered constantly to her and how she was handling the 
rumors.  I was in all the 'gifted'
classes, but gifted in this school just meant you could read better than 
average, and the average was pretty bad.
   The teachers didn't notice how distracted I was.  I usually just stared 
out the window, so that wasn't too surprising.  They pretty much left me 
alone, as they had learned was prudent over time.  I was famous among the 
teachers; I was adept at making them look stupid.  As if it was that 
difficult to do.  The most recent science books in the building were from 
1976.  The history books were even worse; they had been published five 
years before the Vietnam war.
   It didn't matter much, the majority of the books were so battered you 
were lucky if the page you needed hadn't fallen out years before.  Most of 
the teachers hadn't bothered to keep up on current events, either.  Faces 
tended to turn red when I started discussing the climate of Venus, or the 
composition of a neutron star.  Forget Darwin and the theory of evolution.  
Creationism ruled supreme.
   "If you believe that anyone but god almighty created this universe, you 
may as well get outta my classroom right now, boy." as one 'science 
teacher' had told me once.  Genetics was referred to as "Those ungodly 
experiments" and sex-ed was blasphemy reserved for the "big city" schools.
   Consequently, I found that it was easier to stare out the window and do 
nothing.  That suited the teachers just fine.  We had an unwritten 
understanding: I gave them no trouble and they gave me an A, whether or not 
I turned in any work or not.  (Years later I would list myself among the 
"home schooled".  In effect I was, despite spending six hours a day in 
classrooms for most of my childhood.)
  
   When lunch period finally rolled around I grabbed my sack lunch from my 
locker and headed for the cafeteria.  I found Jenny sitting at a table near 
the rear of the room, some distance from the main mass of kids.  Sitting 
beside her was another eighth grade girl.  They were talking quietly 
between themselves, but stopped as I pulled out a chair next to Jenny and 
sat down, resisting the urge to kiss her.  I could tell that she was 
resisting the same urge.  If we hadn't it would have caused quite a stir 
among the student population
and even more of a stir among the teachers in charge of supervising lunch 
that day.
   "Hi Jenny, how was class?" I asked.
   "Fine, as far as school goes I guess.  This my my friend, Kallie." she 
answered, nodding toward the other girl at the table.
   Kallie was of medium build, with white-blonde hair cut to shoulder 
length.  She was pretty, and would have been beautiful if it wasn't for her 
sharp, slightly oversized nose and the cool, calculating look in her green 
eyes.  She was a sharp contrast to Jenny, with her dark walnut colored, 
nearly waist length hair and eyes of equal color.  Where Jenny was somewhat 
short, slim and athletic, best described as petite, Kallie was tall, almost 
six foot, with slightly overdeveloped breasts for her age and a pronounced 
figure.  Jenny was dressed in a pleated navy blue skirt that fell just 
short of her knees and a forest green blouse.  Kallie was dressed in worn 
jeans and a flannel shirt, giving her a tomboyish look.
   "Nice to meet you, Kallie." I said politely.  
   "So you're the guy Jenny's been sleeping with the last few days, eh?" 
she said bluntly.  Jenny and I both blushed in embarrassment.
   "I'm guessing you told her most, if not all about us?" I stammered to 
Jenny.  
   She nodded.  "I trust her.  She was the other person involved in the... 
incident that brought up the rumors that started all of this."
   I nodded.  "If you can trust her, I can trust her."  Leaning back in my 
chair, I turned to Kallie.  "So how did your parents deal with the rumor?"
   "They haven't heard it yet.  They're to busy with keeping my four 
younger brothers in line."  
   I whistled.  "No wonder you two got walked in on."  Now it was her turn 
to blush.  
   "It's hard to have any privacy when you're the oldest of five kids."  
   "I've never had a problem with privacy."
   "I'll bet.  That house all to yourself.  You don't know how lucky you 
are."  Kallie said, looking at me enviously.
   "I see Jenny has told you quite a bit about me.  Nothing to embarrassing 
I hope."  
   "Yup.  I haven't been able to get a description of what you look like 
naked, but now that I've seen you I can make a pretty good guess." she 
said, looking me up and down appraisingly with a grin.
   "You're very straight forward, aren't you?" I said, face flaming red 
again.  
   "You have to be to live in a three bedroom house with six other people." 
she retorted. "Otherwise you'd never get anything done."  
   "Ah."  I nodded, doing my best to look understanding, and turned to 
Jenny.  "So no troubles so far?"
   "I missed you." she said, smiling longingly at me, scooting her chair 
closer to mine.
   "I missed you too."  I reached out and took her hand, running my thumb 
over the skin on the back of her hand.   
   "Sheesh, cool off you two before I hafta go get a bucket of ice water." 
Kallie grinned.  We just looked defiantly at her, and continued to hold 
hands under the table.  
   "So when you going to go home?" Kallie asked Jenny curiously.  
   "I don't know.  Alex says I can stay as long as I need too, and his Dad 
agrees." She grimaced.  "My parent's aren't exactly thrilled with me, and 
once the word gets around that I've been staying with a guy who's four 
years older than I am, it won't get any better."  
   Kallie turned to look at me speculatively.  "You're *four years* older 
than she is?  That would make you eighteen!  You don't look a day over 
sixteen to me."  
   "Want to see my ID?" I challenged.
   "Maybe later.  I love the deer in the headlights look people get when 
they have their pictures taken for that kinda thing.  Speaking of deer, 
what're you going to do when her Dad finds out and starts after you with a 
shotgun?"
   "I can handle myself." I said defensively.  "If I were you, I'd worry 
more about your parents finding out your part in these "lesbian" rumors."   
   "It wouldn't matter much to my parents one way or another.  I would be 
more worried if I were you.  If anyone in this town found out an eighteen 
year old guy was messing around with a fourteen year old girl, you'd be 
lucky to make it to the county limits without having a few shotgun pellets 
stinging your hide."  
   "Can you say it any louder?  I don't think cooks in the kitchen heard 
you." I said sarcastically.  I knew I should have been controlling myself 
better.  After all, she was only afraid of losing what was most likely her 
best and possibly only friend to me.  It was no wonder she was a little 
hostile.  'Any more hostile and she'd be pulling a gun on me.' I grumbled 
to myself.  
   "Just settle down you two." Jenny cut in, glaring at both of us.  "Now 
both of you are important to me.  I'd rather have you two friends than 
enemies."  
   Kallie and I looked guiltily at each other.  
   "Truce?" Kallie asked.
   "Truce.  Now we'd better eat before lunch period runs out.  I'm 
starving."
   "Doesn't look like it to..." Kallie's voice died off as she was nailed 
by a glare from Jenny.  She dropped her eyes to her sandwich, and we ate 
the rest of the meal in silence.  When the bell rang, Kallie ran off for 
fourth period, waving a quick goodbye.  Jenny and I lagged behind, waiting 
for the cafeteria to clear out enough for us to be alone.  
   "Sorry about Kallie.  She's pretty... standoffish to other people."  
   "I can understand that.  But she sure knows how to get under your skin, 
doesn't she?"  
   "You should see her when she's at home."
   "I don't think I want to." I grinned, slipping an arm around her as the 
last of the students hurried out of the room.  The cooks had already slid 
down the stainless steel doors that separated the kitchen from the 
cafeteria. "We'd better get going.  A kiss before we go?"
   "Always."  She kissed me gently on the lips, then we parted slowly.  I 
waved to her as she jogged off, then went in the opposite direction to 
suffer through history.  
  
                                        *****  
  
   When school let out, I met Jenny out in front of the building.  Kallie 
had already boarded her bus, and as usual, our bus was five minutes late.  
   "How was your day?" I asked.  
   "Boring.  One of these days Mr. Greene is going to figure out that the 
demonstration of what happens when you mix vinegar and baking soda gets a 
little old after you've seen it twenty or thirty times."  
   I groaned in sympathy in remembrance of eighth grade chemistry as our 
bus finally pulled up, and the semi-frozen children slowly climbed aboard.  
The heater seemed to be on the fritz again, so Jenny cuddled up against me 
for warmth.  I didn't dare put my arm around her, we were drawing enough 
stares as it was.  
  
   It was nearly dark when we arrived home, the days being short this time 
of year.  After starting the customary fire, I went into the kitchen.  
Jenny took off her jacket and stood in front of the fire for a moment, 
thawing out.  
   "Sit down for a while, do whatever homework you need to, or just relax.  
I'm fixing dinner tonight." I called.  
   "Let me help.  I'll just feel useless out here if I don't."
   I heard her walking towards the kitchen.  I quickly dropped what I was 
doing and blocked her entry into the kitchen.  "It's a surprise." I told 
her.  "Don't ruin it.  Let me do this, eh?"
   "Okay." she said suspiciously.  "But I'm going to find out in a little 
while, right?"  
   "Of course.  It wouldn't be any fun to prepare a surprise and then never 
surprise you, now would it?" I raised an eyebrow in my semi-famous 'Spock' 
impression.  
   She laughed.  "All right, I'll wait.  It better be good, though."  
   "It will be." I kissed her on the forehead and pushed her back toward 
the living room.  I heard the springs on the couch squeak as she sat down, 
and I returned to preparing my surprise.  
  
End Chapter Seven

  
Chapter Eight
-------------  
  
   Jenny was staring at the fire when I walked in an hour later, curled up 
in a tight ball on the couch, legs tucked under her.  
   "You're finally ready?" she asked, peering at me from the couch.
   "Yes.  Just put this on."  I gave her a towel I had folded to make a 
blindfold."
   "Why?" she asked curiously.  
   "Because if you don't, it won't be as much of a surprise.  Come on, 
humor me." I pleaded.
   "Oh, fine." she sighed, sliding off the couch onto her feet.  I helped 
her put the blindfold on, tying it tightly enough so that she couldn't see 
anything.  Turning off all the lights, I led her into the dining room, then 
took off the blindfold.  She gasped.  
   "This is wonderful!" she exclaimed.  I had laid out a dinner for two, 
complete with candles and champagne glasses. "What's it all for?" she 
asked, looking over the food spread across the table.
   "Don't you remember our one week anniversary?"  
   She looked stunned. "Oh, you're so sweet, I'd forgotten!"   
   "No, the dessert is sweet." I joked.  "I'm just a guy that has a little 
less on my mind than you do."
   "Still, thank you." She hugged me, reaching up and massaging the nape of 
my neck in a way that she knew made me shiver every time.
   I kissed her appreciatively and sat down across from her.  "Now, for the 
main dish."  I announced, then lifted the lid of a large bowl in the center 
of the table.  
   "Spaghetti!  You even remembered that!" she cried.  
   "It's my cooking, but it should be edible.  I talked Mrs. Walker into 
making the French bread though, so that's edible for sure.  The woman 
nearly broke into tears when she finally pressured me into telling her I 
wanted it for a special dinner with a girl.  She wanted to come over and 
help, but I told her I wanted to do it myself, but didn't think I could 
manage the bread."
   "It's wonderful.  I can't believe you did all this!" she exclaimed.
   I just smiled across the table at her.  "It was worth it."  I lifted my 
champagne glass.  "To us, and another week."  We clinked glasses, and took 
a sip.  "Be careful with that, it's real champagne.  I could drink a few 
glasses before I got drunk, but for you it'll be quite a bit less, 
considering your size and weight."
   
   So we ate dinner, idle chatter about the day passing between us.  Before 
long the champagne started to get to both of us, and the glimmer of her 
eyes in the flickering candlelight began to draw more and more of my 
attention.  Finally I stood up and walked over to her.  "Now for the second 
part of the evening." I announced.  
   "There's more?" she asked.
   "Of course!" I took her hand and led her into the living room.  "What 
romantic evening would be complete without dancing?"  I walked to the old 
stereo system in the corner and put on some soft music.  Taking her into my 
arms, I held her gently against me.
   "Now, I don't know how to dance, so I apologize if I step on your toes 
once in a while." I said with a smile.
   Jenny laughed softly, and we began to sway gently to the music.  She 
moved closer to me, pressing close, resting her head on my chest.  We said 
nothing for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of being close to one 
another, the music weaving on slowly in the background.  
   "Jenny, I have something for you."  
   "Really?" she raised her head off my chest and looked up at me.  I 
fumbled in my pocket, and finally found it, drawing the small gold locket 
and chain from my pocket.  It glimmered in the dim firelight.  Jenny drew 
in a sharp breath.  "For me?  But where did you get it?"  
   "It was my mother's."  I fastened it around her neck for her as she 
pulled her long hair out of the way.  She fingered it, clicking it open to 
reveal two empty picture sockets.  "It was the only thing she left behind.  
I found it on the kitchen table the morning after
she left; she had taken the picture of my father out of it.  Her way of 
telling my father that it was over, I suppose.  I tried to give it to him 
when he came back, but he told me to keep it, as a memory of my mother.  I 
did.  Now I want to give it to you, and maybe put a little happiness into 
it.  When we next go to Sandville I'll have our pictures put into it."  
   "Thank you." she said tearfully, embracing me tightly.  I hugged her 
back.  
   "Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry." I said, pushing her hair back over 
her ear, then wiping a tear off her cheek.  
   "No, I'm sorry.  It's just the nicest, most beautiful thing anyone's 
ever given me."  
   "I love you, Jenny." I said seriously.
   "I love you too.  Always.  I'll keep it forever.  I'm just sorry that I 
don't have anything to give you."
   "You've given me more than you know.  Someone to talk to, someone to 
love.  Someone I can depend on, and be depended on by.  That's much more 
valuable than any little trinket that I could ever give you."  Having said 
this, I kissed her.  Her body molded itself to mine, in that perfect 
embrace that all lovers seem to share.  We settled onto the couch, and 
spent the rest of the evening together in front of the fireplace, bathing 
ourselves in the warmth of each other's company.  Eventually we both 
drifted off to sleep, the fire dying slowly in the hearth.  
  
   I woke up a few hours later, my back freezing.  The fire had died to 
dull coals, letting the cold air encroach on where we lay.
   Jenny was cuddled up against me, shivering violently.  Untangling myself 
from her, I lifted her into my arms.  She barely stirred as I cradled her 
body against mine, her long hair tumbling over my arm, swishing back and 
forth across my stomach as I stumbled my
way up to our room.  
   'Funny.' I thought, 'I wonder when it became "our" room?'  I decided 
that it had become our room that first night, when I held her in my arms as 
she fell asleep.  
   Lying her down gently on the bed, I watched as she lay there, like an 
oversized doll, arms and legs limp.  Kneeling on the bed, I kissed her 
softly on the cheek.  Pulling the blankets over us, I held her against me, 
rubbing her skin where it had been exposed to the cold air of the living 
room.
   Laying there, sharing body heat, I reminisced about what had happened in 
the last seven days or so; a time span that seemed like a lifetime to me.  
It was as if I had never lived before I met Jenny.  Life before her seemed 
infinitely distant in the past, and I
found myself wanting to forget those days of isolation and distrust.  
   'The here and now is all that matters,' I thought as Jenny squirmed 
against me, unconsciously pressing her body tighter against my warmth in 
her sleep.  Still, as I fell asleep, I worried about what tomorrow and the 
next day might bring.  
   I dreamt of the ghosts of people I had known in the past chasing me.  My 
mother, my father, my grandparents, and every bully, teacher, or other 
adult who had ever threatened or hurt me.  Off in the distance I could hear 
Jenny screaming, crying out my name.  As I ran in slow motion from my 
pursuers the screams grew louder, until I could see Jenny off in the 
distance.  Two figures were standing over her; they laughed horribly, an 
awful screeching, grating laugh, like wrenching metal or fingernails being 
drawn across a
blackboard.  They pulled on her arms, legs, hair, anything they could get 
their hands to grip, pulling her away from me.  I tried to scream for them 
to stop, to let her go, but no words escaped my mouth.
   I looked around quickly for a weapon, anything to beat their thin, 
stick-like arms and twisted claw hands from Jenny, but found nothing.  As I 
watched, they started to move away, dragging her with them.  She kicked, 
ripped, tore at the grip of her captors, screaming my name, begging me to 
help her.  I ran harder, my heart pounding in my throat.  As I came within 
an arms distance to them I leapt, grasping at anything that would hold her 
to me, save her from the ghouls that were taking her from me.  I felt cool 
metal touch my palm, and grabbing it, pulled.  For a moment it strained 
against my hand, then with a jerk fell loosely into my palm.
   As suddenly as they had appeared, they vanished, taking Jenny with them, 
her screams fading into the distance as if she had fallen into a deep well. 
 Stopping, I fell to my knees, the sharp rocks that covered the 
dust-scattered ground dug painfully into my knees.  
   Her final cry echoed in my mind, the desperate plea falling onto my 
helpless ears.  Looking down, I opened my hand.  The gleam of gold 
glittered in my palm in the dim light.  A sob escaped my throat as I 
realized it was her locket, the delicate chain broken, the final link 
between us broken with it.

                                *****
  
   A hand shook me violently.  The dreamscape faded to darkness, and I 
opened my eyes.  The dim gray light of early morning spilled in from the 
bedroom window.
   "Wake up, Alex, wake up!" 
   "Wha...?"  The nightmare fading, but the image of the dream still 
violently fresh in my mind.  "Jenny!" I cried, sitting up and hugging her 
tightly.  "Oh god, I'd thought I'd lost you!" I sobbed, holding her in a 
death grip, never wanting to let go.  Her arms wriggled free of my grasp 
and she hugged me back, reaching up to stroke my neck.  
   "Alex, it was just a nightmare, a bad dream.  I'm not going anywhere." 
she soothed.  
   I slowly relaxed under her soft words and touch, enough to finally lie 
down again.  I didn't let go, but she lay down with me.  As my breathing 
returned to normal she pulled herself up, propping herself up on one elbow 
until she was looking directly down at my face.  She brushed my hair off my 
forehead then cradled my chin in her small hands, her slim fingers 
massaging my temples.  I closed my eyes again as the clenched muscles of my 
arms relaxed around her.  The small gold locket dangled from her neck, it's 
small weight pressing into my breastbone, the chain intact.  I let out a 
deep shuddering sigh as I
told myself that it was all just a dream, a random firing of synapses 
during REM sleep.  The logical side of me believed it.  The emotional side 
didn't.  
   I opened my eyes and looked into her concern filled eyes.
   "Sorry." I mumbled.
   "For what?"
   "For waking you up."
   She smiled, and leaned down and kissed me lightly.  "Let's go back to 
sleep.  We don't have to get up for another two hours."
   "All right." I said as she relaxed, laying her head on my chest and 
stroking my stomach, a now familiar position for us.  She closed her eyes, 
and soon her hand slowed then stopped.  Her breathing evened out into the 
soothing rhythm of deep slumber, but I still couldn't fall asleep.  The 
image of the shadowed figures still hovered on the edge of my mind.  But 
soon the relaxing feeling of her soft body pressing warmly against mine 
took it's toll, and I managed to fall into a fitful sleep.

                              *****  
  
   I groaned when the alarm went off two hours later.  I felt like I'd 
hardly slept.  I kissed Jenny good morning, and we climbed slowly out of 
bed.  My back popped as I stood upright and stretched.  We stumbled toward 
the shower, rubbing the sleep out of our eyes.
   Half and hour later while at the breakfast table I grumbled about having 
to get up so early.  Jenny just smiled brightly and forced me to eat 
another piece of toast.  I harumphed in response, mumbling about how 
annoying morning people are to the people who aren't.  
   The school day went by slowly, as it seemed to every day.  I slept, 
read, or stared out the window during classes.  I lived for the evenings 
and weekends, when I was able to get to know Jenny better.
   I introduced her to classical music, and she introduced me to the 
pleasures of conversation with another intelligent person.  We would spend 
many an evening sitting in our favorite spot in front of the fire, talking. 
 I think I said more words to her in the weeks we were together than I had 
in my entire life up to that point.
   Things that I had previously believed only I thought about popped up 
frequently in our discussions of anything and everything.  We found out 
more about each others pasts, and what we wanted in the future.    
   We also discovered something that I've never seen anyone duplicate, even 
in the closest of couples.  We had virtually the same reading speeds.  
Sometimes we'd just sit down, pop a Bach of Handel CD into the stereo, and 
read a good book together.  It was a little eerie finishing a page in a 
book, only to have someone else turn the page at just the right moment.  
Jenny would usually lay back against my chest, with either her or I holding 
the book.  The only time we would loose synch would be when one or the 
other fell asleep, which seemed very easy to do with some of the books we 
read.
   Kallie and I developed a tenuous friendship over time.  We would most 
certainly have never of been friends if it hadn't been for Jenny; we were 
just too different.  She was loud, brash, and would say most anything at 
any time.  I was quiet, reserved, and would only say something with careful 
consideration, if at all.  Jenny was middle of the road, quiet but straight 
forward, but outgoing when in the mood.  In other words, we both clicked 
with her, but clashed with each other.  
   Jenny's parents didn't seem to be loosening up much, if at all.  
According to Jenny's sister they still said nothing about her.  I didn't 
really want them to, we were both happy the way it was, despite the 
constant hovering of our problems outside the protective
wall of our relationship.
   Rumors started getting around about Jenny and I, though.  Getting dirty 
looks from teachers and other students at school wasn't an uncommon 
occurrence for me.  I pointedly ignored them, as did Jenny.  Someone had 
apparently seen Jenny and I kissing in the hallway, and spread it around 
school.  Considering how much attention we paid to our surroundings when we 
kissed, it wasn't really surprising that we'd been seen.  At least the 
rumor that had alienated Jenny from her family, and that had started the 
whole affair between Jenny and I had been forgotten, except by Jenny's 
parents.   
   The house was looking better than it had in years, thanks to Jenny's 
insistence that I no longer leave dirty dishes to rot, or soiled clothing 
to lay around on the floor until I felt like doing a load of laundry.  We 
shared the housework, each of us participating in
making the meals and cleaning up afterward.  Having another person there 
that cared about you to help made it almost enjoyable.  Almost.
   Then, when all was quiet, we'd cuddle up together under the blankets and 
fall asleep in each other's arms.  I had never been so utterly satisfied 
with the way my life was going.  I had someone outlet my thoughts to, 
someone to share my interests, and most importantly, someone to love more 
than anything for the first time in my life.
   Then life changed on both of us, and our time together at that point in 
out lives came to an end. 

End Chapter Eight


Chapter 9
--------
  
   One Saturday morning I awoke to someone rapping on the door.  I stumbled 
out of bed, only half awake as Jenny and I had been up late the night 
before.  We never got up much before noon on weekends; we preferred to stay 
in bed, curling up together and chatting sleepily.
   Pulling on my robe I stumbled down the stairs, wondering blearily who it 
was.  Jenny never stirred as I got out of bed.  She could sleep through 
almost anything, and I didn't have the heart to wake her.  
   I pulled open the door, shivering as the February wind cut through the 
thin material.  Standing at the door was a man and a woman.  The man was 
slightly shorter than myself, somewhat of a fine build.  The woman was a 
little over 5'4", her head even with the
man's shoulders.  Both wore heavy winter coats and jeans.  Both also looked 
a little uncertain.
   "Can I help you?" I asked, holding the robe closed with one hand, the 
door with the other.  The man spoke first.
   "Sorry to bother you, but we were told that our daughter, Jenny, might 
be staying here.  Is she?"
   I paused, shocked for a moment.  I had thought that we would have to go 
to them, yet here they were, looking for her.  I figured that if they were 
willing to come out here to a stranger's house to find her, they would most 
likely be willing to talk reasonably to Jenny and I.
   "Yes, she is."  
   "Could we... speak to her?" the woman asked in a whisper-soft voice.  I 
made a decision.  
   "I don't know.  That's up to her.  Come in, and I'll go see if I can 
wake her up."  I held the door open for them to open.  I motioned them 
toward the couch and jogged up the stairs.
   Jenny was still sleeping, her back to me.  The thought that this might 
be the last time I'd see her sleeping like this cross my mind, so I looked 
upon her for a moment, memorizing the way she looked, long hair spread over 
the pillow, her face relaxed, eyes closed.  The covers had slipped down 
when I had climbed out of bed revealing one pale
shoulder, her slim arm reaching under the quilt, the contour of her body 
showing through the heavy comforter.  For a moment I seriously considered 
turning around and telling her parents that she didn't want to talk to 
them.  But I told myself that it was selfish to think that way.  I knew 
what it was like to be alienated from my parents and I loved her too much 
to not give her the choice of making up with them.  
   Resigning myself, I walked over and sat on the bed.  I gently shook her 
bare shoulder, memorizing the feel of her skin as my fingers trailed over 
the smooth surface.  
   Jenny turned over and smiled at me sleepily.  "Good morning."  The smile 
faded as she saw the look on my face.  "What's wrong?"  She sat up on one 
elbow, causing the
comforter to slide down to her hip.  I looked at her longingly, wishing for 
more time together.
   "Your parents are downstairs in the living room.  They want to talk to 
you.  It's up to you, if you want to talk to them, do.  If not, I'll show 
them the door."  
   Shock registered on her face.  "They came here?"  She fell limply back 
on the bed.  Thinking quickly, she made her decision.
   "No, I'll talk to them.  We always knew that I would have to face them 
eventually.  I guess now is the time."  She slowly got out of bed.  "I'd 
better get dressed."  
   "Me too." I replied.
   "I don't know if I want you to go down there.  It's between me and my 
parents.  You don't have to get involved."
   "I already am.  I told you in the beginning that I'd be there for you, 
and that includes now." I said firmly.
   She nodded and smiled at me gratefully.  "I hoped you'd say that."     
   We dressed quickly and walked into the living room a few minutes later.  
Jenny's parents were sitting patiently on the couch.  When they heard us 
come down the stairs they stood up and turned toward us.
   "Hello Jenny." her mother said.
   "Hello, Mom, Dad.  What are you doing here?"
   Jenny's mother spoke us.  "We heard that you were staying here, and were 
wondering when you were going to come home."
   "Come home?  You made it pretty clear that I wasn't wanted when you 
called me at school a month ago."
   "Your mother heard some rumors that we should have known better than to 
believe." Jenny father said.  "Then we heard that you were staying here, 
and that you were... close to this young man over here." He nodded in my 
direction.  "We finally figured out that the rumors were just rumors.  We 
want you to come home, and your mother is sorry for what she said over the 
phone."  Jenny's mother bowed her head guiltily.  
   "So will you come home?" her mother said.
   Jenny looked uncertain.  "Let me talk to Alex in private for a minute."  
Her parents nodded, and Jenny took my hand, leading me into the kitchen.  
"What do you think?" Jenny asked anxiously.
   "I don't trust them.  But the main question is, do you want to go with 
them?  Do you trust them?  You would be the one living there, not me.  But 
don't go because you think you're a burden on me.  You aren't, and I meant 
it when you could stay as long as you
liked."
   "But what about when you go to college?  What then?  You'll be 
struggling for money, even without an extra mouth to feed."
   "We'll work something out." I said stubbornly.
   "Alex, I'd love to stay, but I can't.  I've over stayed my welcome as it 
is.  Your Dad still isn't thrilled with me."
   I sighed.  "But I'm afraid that they're going to not let me see you, or 
even hurt you."
   Jenny stepped closer to me, reaching up and caressing my cheek.  "They 
won't hurt me.  And I'll see you no matter what, they can't keep us 
separated all the time."
   "Are you sure?" I said, unconvinced.
   "Yes, I'm sure."
   "I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to lose you." I sighed.
   "You aren't going to lose me.  I love you Alex, and nothing is going to 
change that."  She emphasized what she said by standing on tiptoe and 
kissing me softly.
   I hugged her tight against me.  "God, I love you too.  I wish you 
weren't going, but I know you think you have to."  I took her by the 
shoulders and looked into her eyes.  "I want you to come to me if anything 
happens.  You mean more to me than anything else in the world.  I want you 
to remember that.  You'll always be welcome with me.  I'd rather you stayed 
here, but it's your life, and your decision.  I've never told you what to 
do with your life, and I'm not going to start now."
   "I know, and I will." she said, eyes bright with tears, and I know mine 
were the same way.  Holding hands, we walked back into the living room.
   "I'll come home with you." Jenny told them.  They smiled, their posture 
slowly relaxing from the stiff-backed positions they'd been in.
   "Do you have anything you need to take with you?" her mother asked.
   Jenny reached up and felt the gold chain that held the locket I had 
given her around her neck.  "No. I have everything I need.  At least 
everything I can take with me." she said, looking at me with a smile.
   Jenny's father nodded.  "Then you're ready to go?"
   "Yeah, I guess so."
   I didn't say anything, but led them to the door.
   "Thank you for letting Jenny stay with you." Jenny's mother said as I 
opened the door to let them leave.
   "It was my pleasure." I smiled, and they walked out the door, Jenny 
lagging behind.
   She paused, then turned to me.  Standing on her toes she kissed me on my 
cheek.  "Now don't let this place go down the tubes without me here." she 
joked.  
   "I won't." I said, my throat constricting.  She smiled and walked to 
where her parents were waiting beside a beat up sedan.  I watched as they 
got in and drove away, Jenny waving at me from the back seat.  When they 
disappeared from view, I stood there for several minutes, gazing down the 
road in the direction they'd gone, chest feeling tight and painful.  
   Finally, I turned to go back to the house.  It seemed empty, silent now 
that she was gone.  Usually there was some sound of her activity in the 
house, whether it was the sound of her breathing as I held her, or her 
happy humming emanating from where ever
she was.  Now all I could hear was the sound of the wind beating at the 
house, and the sound of my heartbeat.  I felt hollow and numb as the person 
who had become part of me, and myself part of her, drove away from me.  My 
eyes stung with tears as I sat and stared at the cold ashes in the 
fireplace for a long time.  
  
End Chapter Nine

  
Chapter Ten
-----------  
  
   I didn't sleep well that night, my thoughts constantly turning to Jenny, 
wondering how she was, if she was getting along with her parents.  I missed 
her warmth pressing against my side, the comfort and relaxation of holding 
her in my arms, hearing her even breathing as she slept, her sweet scent of 
her hair teasing my nose.  It took three hours for me to fall asleep, and 
only then because I took a pillow and hugged it against me, trying to 
pretend that it was Jenny.  It let me sleep, but it was no substitute for 
her.  
   I woke up the next morning dead tired.  The only reason I even bothered 
to get up was so I would be able to see Jenny on the bus and at school.
   The morning seemed drearier than usual; but then again everything had 
seemed dreary to me since Jenny had left.  The bus pulled up and I climbed 
aboard.  I spotted Jenny sitting alone three seats back, and the day seemed 
to brighten as I saw her smiling face looking at me, those dark eyes 
connecting with mine.  I almost ran down the isle and took her into my 
arms, not caring what anyone thought, just wanting to feel her against me 
again, to feel loved.
   "I missed you too." Jenny laughed, and hugged me back.  I held her at 
arms length and looked her over, running my hands over her as if looking 
for broken bones.  
   "You're all right?  They didn't do anything to you?" I said worriedly, 
then hugged her against me again.  
   "I'm fine, Alex.  I told you I would be."
   "Nothing happened?"
   "Nothing much.  I'll tell you when we can talk in private." She motioned 
toward the other people looking on, most scowling, some smiling.  I relaxed 
against the seat, and Jenny repositioned herself so she was leaning against 
me, my back to the wall of the bus.  The bus driver kept looking up at us 
in his mirror, most of the other kids kept stealing glances at us as well.  
We rode the rest of the way to school, almost oblivious to the people 
around us, locked in our own small ball of warmth.  We skipped first period 
and
headed for one of the store rooms I knew of; you learn the hiding places 
when you're bullied as a kid.  I hadn't been bullied in years, ever since I 
had suffered through my growth spurt.  Bullies don't bug you much when they 
know you can hit harder than they can.
   Once we were safely locked in the storage room we cuddled up on a pile 
of old gym mats stacked in the corner.  One dim sixty watt bulb illuminated 
the ten foot square room, most of it claimed by fifty years of discarded 
junk.  
   "You look exhausted." she told me.  
   "You don't look too wide awake yourself." I told her.  "You have bags 
under your eyes at least as big as mine, and you're a lot smaller than I 
am." I teased.
   "Well, I couldn't sleep.  I'm to used to feeling your bear of a
body holding me.  Plus my parents made me sleep on the couch.  Apparently 
they aren't entirely sure that the rumors weren't true, since my sister and 
I usually share a room.  It's like they don't want to risk 'infecting' 
their only other daughter."
   "That's dumb.  Of course, knowing them it's not so surprising.  Anything 
else happen?"
   "Nothing much else.  They treated me pretty nicely, except for making me 
sleep on the couch.  I don't know if my back will ever recover.  I never 
realized how lumpy a couch could be until I slept on that thing.  It should 
be thrown in the dump."
   I laughed.  "Turn over and I'll see if I can work the kinks out of your 
back."  
   She rolled over gratefully.  Pulling her shirt up, I started working on 
her back, hoping some janitor wouldn't walk in on us.
   She let out little groans and sighs of contentment, her tense muscles 
loosening under my touch.  Soon she stopped making noise, and the steady 
rhythm of her breath indicated that she had fallen asleep.  I pulled her 
shirt back down and lay next to her, watching her sleep.  At some point I 
must have fallen asleep as well.  

   We didn't wake up until halfway through lunch period.  We cursed as we 
hurriedly straightened out our clothes and hair, and snuck out of the 
closet.  Kallie was sitting at our usual table.  We hurriedly told her what 
had happened, finishing right before the
bell rang.  Jenny and I parted reluctantly, each heading for our separate 
classes.   
  
   The next few months progressed rapidly.  Jenny's parents loosened up 
more as word of our romance spread through town.  I received more dirty 
looks than ever, but I was happy if it made Jenny's life easier at home.  
Her parents made no move to stop us from seeing each other, apparently glad 
to have her seeing someone four years older than she was rather than 
another girl.  I became disgusted more and more with school as the teachers 
and administrators got it into their heads to punish the 'cradle robber'.  
Finally I just took the test for the GED and quit high school.  A month 
later I left for college, just in time to catch the beginning of spring 
quarter.  Jenny saw me off in a tearful goodbye.  Leaving her there was 
probably the hardest thing I'd ever done, but she still had several years 
of school left.
   I flew down to New Mexico, having my few possessions sent down after me. 
 Jenny and I wrote every day without fail.  College was tough, but I 
struggled through it, flourishing in a school that finally challenged my 
intelligence.  For a while it was school, study, write to Jenny, and work.  
   Things at home degraded for Jenny as her parents apparently came to the 
conclusion that she had no where to run to now that I was gone.  More than 
one letter had tear stains on it as she wrote about her latest fight with 
her parents.  They had her sleeping in her
room again, but now her sister was sleeping on the couch instead.  Her 
sister and Kallie were the only ones she could talk to or depend on, except 
through our letters.  

   Then one day the letters stopped.  One moment we were going full bore, a 
five to ten page letter every day; the next, my mailbox was empty.  I 
prayed that it was just a disruption in the mail system, that one day I'd 
get a load of letters in the mail.  I sent letter after letter back to her, 
begging her to write back.  I never got an answer.
   I worried that she had met someone else, that she had forgotten about 
me.  I tried to dismiss that, thinking she would have still told me or that 
there would have been some hint in her letters, but I read our old letters 
over and over searching for a hint as to why she'd stopped writing.  
   My mind dwelled on her, my school work began to degrade, and one night I 
was almost fired from my job.  A week passed where I somehow drug my feet 
through the day.  The teachers asked me what was bothering me; one day I 
was one of their brightest students, the next I was in a nose dive and 
failing miserably.
   Worse, the dreams returned, lasting longer and seeming more clear than 
ever before.  I would wake up screaming, twisted in my sheets, dripping 
with sweat.  The dark faces of Jenny's captors haunted me, blurred in my 
mind, but now I knew them; they were the faces of Jenny's parents.  Twisted 
and distorted with a horrific quality, but their faces just the same.
   Two more weeks passed, and I pulled myself up and threw myself into my 
work.  I stayed up all night, took a second job when school let out for the 
summer, and began to drive myself toward exhaustion and most likely 
eventual breakdown.  My eyes were constantly bloodshot.  Bags perpetually 
hung under my eyes, and I began to consider flying up to see her, just to 
have some closure.

   One night when I was studying, the doorbell rang.  I stood up wearily 
from the chair and trudged toward the door.  Pulling it open, I stared, 
open mouthed.
   Jenny stood there in the doorway, looking more haggard than I had ever 
seen her.  Her hair was in tangles, her grimy-looking clothing torn.  She 
stooped, leaning against the door frame.  When she looked up at me, the 
look in her eyes tore at my heart, the look of someone who has had her soul 
ripped out and stepped on.
   "Alex?" her voice quavered.  
   "Jenny?" I gasped.  She stepped toward me and stumbled on the door 
frame.  Rushing forward I grabbed her before she could fall to the floor.  
I picked her up, feeling how light she was, much lighter than I had 
remembered her to be.  I carried her to the couch and sat down, cradling 
her in my arms.  She began to cry, clinging to me like I was the last 
strand in a fraying rope.  I held her and cried with her.  
   She kept saying Alex, Alex, over and over, sobbing, tears running down 
her face. I held her for a long time, gently rubbing her back, brushing 
away her tears.  Eventually she calmed down enough to tell me how and why 
she had come to me.  She told me the story, breaking into tears at the more 
difficult parts.
   "I stopped writing because my parents wouldn't let me.  It got so bad 
that I was a prisoner in my own home, not allowed her to leave except for 
school, and eventually, they didn't even let me go to that.  I fought with 
them, but when I did, they would stop feeding me.  When they thought I had 
been really bad, they locked me in the shed out back, sometimes for only an 
hour or two, sometimes longer.  Once they locked me in there in the dark 
for three days, with only a little water and bread.  
   "My little sister slipped me some things but she couldn't do much, 
because if she told she probably wouldn't have been believed, then they 
might have done the same thing to her.  Then one night my Dad caught me 
looking at the locket you gave me, and demanded that I give it to him.  It 
was the last thing I had to remember you by, the only thing that kept me 
sane.  And he wanted to take it away from me!
   "I refused, and he started to threaten me.  I still said no.  Then he 
grabbed me, and tried to tear it from around my neck.  I still have the 
marks."  she paused, pulling down her t-shirt, showing the still purple 
bruises on her shoulders and neck.
   "I fought back, kicking and screaming.  I scratched his face, then he 
started cursing.  He hit me hard, in the chest, making me fall to my knees, 
then he slapped me, hard.  I collapsed down onto the floor, crying.  Then 
he kicked me in the stomach, and I threw up.  Not wanting to be hurt 
anymore, I stayed on the floor, crying.  He reached down and pulled the 
locket off my neck, and stomped off to his room.  I managed to get up, and 
ran out the door when no one was watching."
   She was crying so hard at this point that she could hardly catch her 
breath, much less talk.  I had her stop until she calmed down.  After a few 
minutes of me quietly rocking her, she managed to continue.
   "I ran down the road, crying.  A woman in a car saw me running and 
pulled over.  She got me into the car and wanted to take me to a doctor, 
thinking I'd been raped or something.  But I said no, and convinced her to 
take me to Kallie's instead.
   "I didn't want her family to see me like I was, so I climbed in her 
bedroom window, and waited for her to come in.  She was surprised to see 
me, since she hadn't seen me in weeks.  I told her what had happened, and 
she started to cry, too.  She got me cleaned up some, but couldn't loan me 
any clothes that fit, so I had to wear these.  
   "She got me to the bus station and onto a bus to you, since she couldn't 
hide me.  After all, she can barely change clothes without being walked in 
on.  I was scared to death that my parents would come after me, anyway.  It 
took her life savings, but she did it for me, to get me safe.  I rode the 
bus for three days, sleeping either on the bus or in the station.  The 
police almost got me once, but I ran away and hid until they gave up.  
Finally I got here, and managed to find your apartment.  I don't know what 
I would have done if I hadn't had your address memorized."  
   I sat in shocked silence for a few seconds after she finished her story. 
 I hated myself for letting this happen to her; I should have flown up 
these as soon as I stopped getting her letters.  But who I was especially 
mad at was her parents, particularly her father.  Any parents who could 
treat their child this way deserved anything that happened to them.
   "God, I'm so sorry Jenny.  I should never have left you with them, 
never.  I should have known something like this would happen after I left." 
 
   "No, Alex, don't blame yourself.  I was the one that went back with 
them.  I could have stayed with you, but I didn't.  It's my fault." she 
said miserably.
   "Jenny, don't ever blame yourself for this." I said vehemently.  "No one 
deserves to be treated the way you were treated by those people.  I 
shouldn't even call them people, they don't deserve it.  I promise you that 
I will never let them hurt you again, no matter
what."
   "How?  They'll be looking for me.  They have the letters, they know 
where you live."  
   "Well, I'll just have to get to them first.  I'll think of something.  
But right now we need to get you something to eat, and then get you to a 
doctor."  
   "I don't need a doctor, Alex.  All it is are a few bruises."
   "Still, I'll feel better once we get you checked out, if anything just 
for evidence against your parents."
   She sighed.  "Okay, as long as I get something to eat first.  I haven't 
eaten more than a candy bar in three days."
   "Three days?  No wonder you're so weak!  Just a minute, I hope I have 
something in the fridge."
   I carefully slid her off my lap and got up, leaving her to rest on the 
couch while I went to the kitchen.  First I whipped up some sandwiches for 
starters, then put a big pot of soup on.  I watched her demolish the plate 
of sandwiches while I called my doctor.  I knew him from the few times I 
had seen him, and hoped I could convince him to see us on such short 
notice.  I also hoped to get him to not say anything about it to anyone.  
God knows I couldn't take her to the hospital, child protective services 
would get their hooks into her and I'd lose her to the system.  A plan had 
begun to form in my mind, and I'd have to be careful to carry it out 
successfully.  If I did, Jenny and I never needed to be
separated again.

   Jenny finished the sandwiches and three bowls of soup before she sat 
back, full.  I let her rest for a few minutes, and then helped her to the 
used car I had bought to get to and from work and school.  Jenny fell 
asleep in the passenger seat during the thirty minute ride across town.  I 
let her sleep, figuring she needed it.
   Doctor Sampson met us at the door, and we both helped her into an 
examination room and onto the table.  He appeared as shocked at her 
condition as I had been.  I left the room, telling Jenny that I'd be right 
out in the waiting room if she needed me.  She protested, but Dr. Sampson 
and I managed to put her at ease.  I waited nervously in the waiting room 
as the doctor examined her.
   A few minutes later he walked out of the examination room looking grim.  
He sat next to me in the empty room, looking at me sternly.
   "How is she?" I asked anxiously.  
   "She's malnourished and has numerous bruises all over her body.  She 
hasn't slept well in weeks, and she shies away from anyone who tries to 
touch her.  There's nothing seriously wrong with her, but psychologically 
it's going to take a long time to recover.    Now who did this to her?  
Where is she from?  What's her name?  How do you know
her?  God help me, if you did that to her..." he said angrily.
   "I didn't.  I could never do that to anyone, much less her.  It was her 
parents.  The bruises came from her father.  He beat her when she refused 
to give something to him.  They kept her locked up for weeks, feeding her 
very little or not at all if they felt like it.
   "We're close... friends, and her name and where she's from is no 
concern, at least until I'm sure you're not going to tell anyone until I've 
had time to make sure that she won't be put back with her parents, or taken 
away and put in a home."  
   He sighed, leaning back and looking at me speculatively.  "Tell me what 
you're planning on doing.  If I agree with your plan, I won't tell anyone, 
at least not yet.  I've seen kids go through foster care.  Some of the 
homes they put them in would be almost as bad as the one she came from."  
   I nodded.  "I was planning on using what I know against them, to get 
them to turn over guardianship of her to me."
   He made a face, "That's risky, you know.  They might not give in, or 
worse, they could say you did that to her.  She's young, and her court 
testimony could be considered questionable."
   "Still, I have to try.  If I can scare them enough, I'm sure they'll do 
it.  Do I have your cooperation if it falls though?  Would you testify on 
my behalf?"  
   "I think you're telling the truth, yes.  I've seen how she clings to 
you.  I don't think she would do that if you had done that to her.  I'd 
testify to that."
   I let out a sigh of relief.  "Thanks Doctor."
   "I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for that little girl in there 
who's been through a hell of a lot.  I want you to take her home, clean her 
up, make sure she's well fed, and put her to bed.  I don't want her moving 
anywhere until she's strong enough and has gained some weight back."
   "I understand."  We stood up, and walked back to where Jenny was sitting 
on the examination table, staring idly at the wall.  She brightened as I 
walked into the room.  She tried to jump off the table, and almost fell as 
her weakened knees buckled under her
weight until the Doctor and I held her up.  
   "Can we go now?" she asked, looking up at the doctor.
   "Yes, you can go.  But listen to me, young lady.  You're to stay in bed 
the next few days, and let Alex here take care of you.  You're to eat when 
he tells you to, sleep when he tells you to, and pretty much do anything 
else he says within reason.  Then you need to come back and see me in a 
week."
   "Yes, sir." she said, taking my arm in her hands and holding it against 
her, huddling up against my side.
   "Fine, then.  Go home and get some rest."
   We helped Jenny out to the car, and I drove her home.  She fell asleep 
again, so I carried her into my apartment.  I undressed her, amazed at how 
thin she had become.  Where once had been a smooth, sleek body with a trace 
of baby fat was now so thin that I could count her ribs plainly.  Her pubic 
bone stood out, and I winced at the purple and black bruises on her arms, 
chest, and stomach.
   I undressed myself, and filled the tub.  We soaked for half an hour, her 
dozing and me cleaning her gently and washing her hair, working out the 
dirt and tangles that had accumulated over the last few weeks.
   I woke her when it was time to get out, and rubbed her softly with a 
fresh towel until she looked almost like she had when we were living 
together.  Hopefully she would begin to look like that again, as long as I 
could keep her out of her parents' grasp.  
   Pulling back the covers on my bed, I lay her on the clean sheets, the 
first clean bed that she had likely been on in weeks.
   Climbing in after her, I tugged the covers over us.  She cuddled against 
me, sighing happily as she sank into my protective embrace.
   Her breathing deepened, and she fell into relaxed sleep as I held her, a 
small smile gracing her lips, contented.  I swore again to protect her 
against anything that might try to hurt her ever again.  Eventually I too 
fell asleep, the first sleep in months that was not tormented by horrific 
nightmares.
  
End Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven
------------
  
   Jenny woke up screaming many times that first night, her experiences of 
the last few months coming back to haunt her.  She would shake like a leaf 
for a few minutes until I managed to reassure her that she was safe, then 
drift off, only to wake up screaming an hour or so later.  Finally, she 
settled down around four a.m.
   I woke a little before two in the afternoon, Jenny still sleeping beside 
me.  Slipping out of bed, I prepared a big brunch for the two of us.  
Loading a tray, I carried it into the bedroom.  I set it on the night 
stand, then sat on the bed next to her and gently shook her shoulder.  She 
slowly opened her eyes and looked up into my face hovering over hers.  
   "Please let this be real." she whispered.  She reached up and touched my 
face, her hand sweeping down from my ear to cradle my chin.
   "It is real!" she sighed happily, and kissed me.
   "Feeling better?" I asked, smiling down at her after the kiss ended.  
   "Yes, a lot better.  I'm starving, though."
   "Ah, but I've already thought of that." I reached behind me and set the 
tray on her lap.  Her face brightened and she dug in, almost as ravenously 
as the night before.
   "Slowly, Jenny.  There's more where that came from.  We need to fatten 
you up."  
   "If you keep feeding me like this, I'll have to roll out of bed just to 
get up!"
   I laughed.  "Better to have you over nourished than undernourished." 
Settling back, I watched her eat.  I wasn't particularly hungry, and she 
was eating enough food for the both of us.  A few minutes later she began 
to slow down, however.  I coaxed her to eat a few more bites, but finally 
she just fell back against the pillow, groaning.
   "Full?" I questioned, rubbing her stomach.
   "Very.  I haven't felt this good in a long time."
   "Neither have I."  I paused.  "Do you know how much I missed you, Jenny?"
   "No, but I know how much I missed you, and I'm sure you missed me just 
as much." she smiled.
   "I dreamt about you every night.  When your letters stopped coming, I 
just, well, fell apart.  I couldn't work, I couldn't concentrate at school. 
 My mind just kept drifting to you.  I was worried sick, but I didn't come 
to see you.  I was worried that you had
found someone else, someone closer to your own age, and didn't want to hurt 
me any more than you had to."  I took a deep breath.  "I guess I just want 
to say that I'm sorry.  Sorry for letting them hurt you, and sorry for 
doubting you."
   "Why?" she asked gently.  "This is the second time you've taken me in, 
both times when I felt things couldn't get any worse.
   "You've fed me, taken me to a doctor, and cared for me when no one else 
was able to.  You couldn't have stopped my parents from doing what they 
did, and it wasn't your fault that I went back there when I knew what they 
were capable of."  
   "But I should have shown up earlier, stopped them before your father 
could hit you, before they could abuse you like they did..." I trailed off 
as Jenny sat up took my head between her hands, staring urgently into my 
eyes.  
   "Alex, I love you but you can be so thick headed sometimes!  Listen to 
me.  It wasn't your fault.  They did it to me, not you.  There wasn't a 
single thing you could do about it, you were thousands of miles away at the 
time."
   "I still feel guilty."
   "I don't know what I'm going to do with you." she sighed.
   "Keep me?" I asked with a small smile.
   She smiled back, "I wouldn't sell you for anything, much less give you 
up."
   "That's good to know."
   She rested her head on my chest and listened to my heartbeat, as if she 
was still on some level unsure of whether or not I really existed.  I 
played with her hair as I thought.  
   "If I told you that I had an idea that might let you stay with me 
permanently, if it worked out, what you say?"
   "I'd say that would be perfect.  I can't remember a time that I've been 
happier than I was for that month living with you."
   "Well I think I might know how."
   She sat up and looked at me in surprise.  "Really?  How?"  
   "We have enough evidence to convict them on child abuse charges, 
assault, child neglect, and whatever else a lawyer and I can dream up.  I 
was thinking about blackmailing them into signing custody of you over to 
me.  I'm over eighteen years old.  I could be your legal guardian, and you 
could live with me until you're eighteen.  Or longer." I added shyly.
   "Oh Alex, I'd love to!  It would be perfect, I'd never have to leave you 
again!"  She hugged me tightly, giving me a big kiss.
   "Wait, wait.  We don't know if it will work yet or not.  Your parents 
might refuse.  But I'm going to make it damn difficult for them to do so, 
and if they don't... well, I'll deal with that if it happens.  Legally or 
not, I'm not letting them take you back there again, ever."
   "Whatever you want to do, you have my consent, as long as I don't have 
to see them."  
   "You won't.  I promise."
   Jenny cuddled up next to me again, closing her eyes sleepily.  Dr. 
Sampson had said that she'd be sleeping a lot over the next few days as her 
body healed itself.  I stroked her hair, my fingers tracing down her back.  
The hard knobs of her vertebrae were easily
felt with my fingertips through her skin.  Anger over what they had done to 
her, the only person I had ever truly loved, filled me again.  How they 
could treat someone the way they had treated her amazed me.  It amazed me 
even more that they had done it to their
own daughter, someone that they were supposed to protect and love, not 
starve and beat.
   She eventually fell asleep under my loving touch, and I held her and 
stared at the ceiling, wondering about the future of humanity.  If we 
couldn't even care properly for our children, how were we ever going to get 
along without wiping ourselves off the planet, like some bacteria being 
wiped off the surface of a dirty petrii dish by a high school biology 
student?  
   My mind also wandered to the reasons why people fall in love.  Was it 
some instinct, driven by the chemical reactions in the brain we call 
emotions?  Why did we get so much pleasure from another's touch?  Simple 
hormones, or something more, something deep in the consciousness of every 
human, even in the minds of the most horrific people in human history?  
Hitler had children, a wife.  He likely loved them, despite his atrocities. 
   
   Then why couldn't two people in a remote town in the western United 
States simply love their daughter, the way that I loved her?
   Why did they have to do such horrible things, even though they claimed 
to follow "The teachings of God"?  Why did the Crusades happen?  Why the 
holy wars in the middle east, over something as simple as a few square 
miles of territory that was said to be
"Holy"?  Why did people desire power over other people, at any cost, even 
the lives or the happiness of those you love?  Strive for what you think is 
right, no matter if it's right or not or interferes with what others think 
is right.  Opinions are everything, and yours are always the best for you, 
your family, and all of humanity.  "The grand future awaits us, just follow 
me, and all will be saved" they say.  They, as in the politicians, the 
religious leaders, the dictators, and the leaders of the large and small 
nations of the world.
   The smart over the stupid, the powerful over the weak.  Then we look 
back, and try to see the whole picture, beyond this tiny speck in the 
universe we call home, to the great beyond.  Then you look back and see 
nothing can be more important than two people in love, two people that care 
for each other more than anything else in that big black void we call a 
universe.
   More than anything in the universe, you say?  How could anything be more 
important than the universe?  What binds together life?  Proteins, amino 
acids?  What use is the universe if no one is able to observe it, 
happenings great and small?  What's the point if we destroy ourselves in 
the process of worrying about what will happen the next day, over mere tiny 
fractions of a micron of mass in comparison to the universe, mass we happen 
to live on, which we call "land"?  What is the point in killing one another 
over political power, which is simply another name for control over our 
fellow human beings?  
   When it's all simplified, all we have are a few minute chemical 
reactions in an organic mass that we call our bodies; the thoughts, the 
emotions, the ideas.  That is what we need to guard, not land, not 
happiness, not freedom.  Certainly, freedom and happiness are
important to life.  But what use is happiness when your mind is empty?  You 
might as well be a well fed house cat.  What's the use of freedom if you 
have nothing more to do than swim in circles until you die, like the salmon?
   Thoughts and ideas are the fabric of consciousness.  Those seemingly 
random electrical impulses racing along nerve paths, the hormones flooding 
the brain in response to a simple touch.  When two people connect, share 
consciousness in however rudimentary way, ideas grow exponentially.
   Our greatest assets are not the national forests, the mineral reserves, 
or glittering metals and chemical compounds.  Our greatest asset is each 
other.  No one person can put together the most complex space mission, no 
one person can save wildlife from being destroyed, no one person can stop 
the violence.  No one person can save humanity.  
   Jenny and I had connected all those months before, during the cold 
winter months in northern Oregon.  Even if humanity wiped itself out 
sometime in the future, we would have shared those thoughts, those ideas, 
those feelings.  Chemical reactions, yes.  But have they made a difference 
in the long run, those few billionths of a second in comparison to the eons 
of time?   
  
I hope so.  
  
End Chapter Eleven

  
Chapter Twelve
--------------  
  
   Jenny spent the next week in bed, being fed the most fattening foods I 
could find.  She enjoyed everything from chocolate cake with ice cream to 
strawberries and whipped cream.  She had gained several pounds by the end 
of the week, her ribs receding under a
healthy layer of body fat.  Thankfully, her dreams seemed to fade some.  
She began to sleep better, only waking once or twice a night.  The only 
time I left the apartment was for groceries.  I had taken time off work, 
wanting to be sure to be there to take care of her through the first few 
weeks.
   We visited Dr. Sampson the following week, and he announced Jenny to be 
progressing satisfactorily.  He told her to get out and get a little 
exercise so that the gained weight wouldn't turn into fat with no muscle to 
back it up.  Jenny and I laughed about the later, her days in bed were a 
combination of rest, food, and
periods of intense activity.  I'm sure you can guess what was going on 
during those periods of intense activity; our passion for each other hadn't 
declined in the least since we had last been together.
   We began to take morning walks, morning being the only suitable time to 
do any sort of exercise outdoors, at least until Jenny had adjusted better 
to the climate.  We used the time to talk, discussing any of a million 
topics. It still amazed me how much information she had managed to jam into 
her head in the short span of fourteen years.  She did well in history and 
English, while I excelled in science.  While she enjoyed poetry and 
Shakespeare, I enjoyed philosophy and science fiction.
   We had a lot to learn from each other, and about each other, mentally 
and physically.  We had thought we had known each other's bodies well 
before, but one of us had never been stuck in bed for a couple of weeks 
either.
   I talked to a few lawyers, and found one willing to write up the papers 
for what little money I had.  At then end of the second week I was certain 
that Jenny was well enough for me to leave for a few days.  Then I spoke to 
Dr. Sampson, and he agreed to let Jenny stay with his wife and himself for 
the few days that I was gone.  I didn't want to leave Jenny alone, 
especially if someone showed up at our apartment.  
   Jenny protested, saying she could take care of herself, but I didn't 
budge.  She was a little huffy when a couple of days later I dropped her 
off at the Sampson's house, but I knew she understood my reasons.  
   I caught an early flight to Portland, and then caught a smaller plane to 
Sandville.  Renting a car, I drove to the house and picked up the clothes 
Jenny had left behind there when she went home with her parents.  Jenny had 
been forced to wear some of my clothes during the few times she had been 
dressed over the last couple of weeks.  The last of my money had gone to 
the lawyer and the plane tickets so we couldn't afford new ones, especially 
when we had some already, provided we wait until I could get back from
Oregon.
   Signs that my Father had come and gone a few times since I had left 
remained in a small stack of moldy dishes next to the sink.  The house had 
taken on the musty smell a building gets when it hasn't been lived in for a 
while.  It was summer now, and a family
of robins had nested in the chimney judging from the constant chirping 
emanating hollowly from the fireplace.  I dared not stop to rest, fearing I 
might loose my nerve completely.
   I piled the clothes into a few boxes and tossed them in the back seat of 
the car.  Thinking fondly of my old friends, I stopped by the Walker's 
place for a moment to
say hello.  Mrs. Walker tried to get me to stay for lunch, but I refused 
saying I had business that I had to attend to before anything else.
   "Maybe dinner." I told her, since my plane didn't leave until the next 
day.  I hoped that dealing with Jenny's parents would take a small portion 
of the time I had until then.  Mrs. Walker pushed a fresh cinnamon roll 
into my hand as I said goodbye and climbed into the car.  
   My nervousness increased with every foot the car traveled closer to my 
confrontation with Mr. and Mrs. Baker.  I had the documents securely in a 
manila envelope on the passenger seat.
   As I drove up the driveway, I composed myself and put a professional,
take-no-crap look on my face.  Mr. Baker came out the front door as I 
climbed out of my car in of the small, slightly run-down house.  When he 
saw who it was, he got a surprised look on his face and called back inside 
for his wife.  She came out, wiping
her hands on her apron.  I walked up to them, manila envelope under my arm. 
 
   "I need to talk to you about a few legal matters, Mr. and Mrs. Baker." I 
said coldly.  "Can I please come inside so we can talk this over more 
privately?"  
   "What do ya want to talk to us about exactly?" Mr. Baker asked, a 
suspicious look on his face.
   "Let's just say it includes one of your daughters that no longer lives 
with you."  I let a little of the hatred I felt for both of them leak into 
the look.  Mr. Baker's face hardened, while Mrs. Baker's paled slightly.  
   Mr. Baker thought it over for a second, and then nodded.  Climbing up 
the creaky stairs, they ushered me inside through the dark front hallway 
and into the slightly
brighter living room.  It smelled of stale cigar smoke, and most of the 
furniture looked as if it had been sitting there since the early 70's, and 
was about as clean.  They sat, and I took a chair across from them.  
   "So where's our daughter?" he asked.
   "Where she is is of no consequence to you.  I'm here to let you know 
that you are never seeing your daughter again.  You will also sign over 
legal guardianship of Jenny to me."
   "And why would we want to do that?" Mr. Baker scoffed.  Mrs. Baker just 
sat, her fingers gripping the arm of the sofa so tightly it looked as if 
the bright orange material was about to tear off in her hands.  
   "I think you know why.  I have evidence against you and Mrs. Baker that 
would convict you both of various forms of child abuse, ranging from simple 
neglect to physical and psychological abuse."
   Mr. Baker laughed.  "What do you have, boy?  The word of a fourteen year 
old against her parents?  I doubt that would stand up in court."  
   "Oh, I have more than that, Mr. Baker."  I reached into the envelope and 
pulled the pictures that had taken of the bruises on Jenny's neck and torso 
the day after she had
arrived, as well as the clear malnurishment.  I handed them to Mrs. Baker, 
who looked at them and turned white as a sheet.  Still silent, she handed 
them to Mr. Baker, who looked at them momentarily before tossing them on 
the coffee table.  
   "You still have nothing to prove that either of us caused those bruises. 
 You could have caused 'em yourself." He said, and edge of uncertainty 
slipping into his voice.  
   "I also have the testimony of a doctor who will testify that the bruises 
were caused days before she ever arrived at my home.  I can also get the 
testimony of her friend who helped her onto the bus to my home, as well as 
the testimony of the woman who gave her a ride to that friend's house, only 
a few thousand feet from here, minutes after she was beaten by you, Mr. 
Baker.
   "That, on top of Jenny's testimony will be more than enough to put you 
and Mrs. Baker behind bars for years.  You will lose everything, including 
your one remaining daughter, most likely your house to legal bills, and the 
little respect you now have in this community.
   "If you do not sign these papers, I will turn all evidence I have as 
well as the names, addresses, and phone numbers of all witnesses over to 
the police and child protective services.  Jenny and I will disappear.  
Either way, Mr. and Mrs. Baker, you lose.  You just lose less if you do it 
my way."  
   They sat in silence for a few seconds, each knowing they were pinned 
down with no place to run.  
   "I'll sign the papers." Mrs. Baker said quietly.
   "Samantha!" Mr. Baker said sharply.
   "Shut up, Bryan!  We can't do anything about it, and I'm not going to 
jail for your idiotic pride!"
   Mr. Baker sat back, defeated.  I pulled the papers out of the envelope, 
and handed Mrs. Baker a pen.  She signed the papers, handed them to Mr. 
Baker, letting go of them as if they were scalding hot.  He also signed 
after a few seconds under the 'do it or else' gaze of Mrs. Baker.  I took 
the papers and stuffed them and the pictures back in the envelope.  
   "One more thing, Mr. Baker.  I want the locket you took from Jenny the 
night she ran away."
   He nodded wearily and walked into another room, returning a few minutes 
later with the locket.
   "Thank you." I said, standing up and taking the locket.  Then I hit him, 
putting as much power behind my fist as I possibly could.  It landed on his 
jaw, snapping his head back.  I followed it with a punch to the stomach, 
causing him to double over and retch.  He fell to the ground, moaning.  
"Next time, don't hit your children." I growled.
   I turned to where Mrs. Baker was still sitting, gaping at her husband 
who was still curled in a ball on the worn green shag carpeting.
   "I'll be in touch with my contacts here in town.  I will be watching.  
If you mistreat your youngest daughter in any way, I will make sure your 
lives become a living hell.  I'll show myself out."  With that, I marched 
through the door and out the car, Mrs. Baker moving over to help her 
husband as I left.  I continued to hold the bottled up rage and fear in 
until I was down the road a mile, and then pulled over and allowed myself 
to relax, my body shaking in repressed emotion.  I sat there for several 
long minutes, shaking and trying to keep from bursting into tears.  I'm not 
a violent person, but everyone has their limits, and I'd been pushed far 
beyond mine.  Even so, that knowledge didn't make me feel any less ill 
afterwards.
   When I felt well enough to drive, I headed for Kallie's house.  It was 
only four in the afternoon, but it felt like hours had passed while I was 
sitting in that grungy living room.  
  

                                              *****  
  
   Kallie's house was one of the bigger houses in town, for good reason.  
Her father was the manager of the only bank in town.  Five kids couldn't 
fit into a two bedroom house very well, especially when one of those five 
was female and the eldest child to boot.  
   When I pulled into the driveway, I was greeted by all four of Kallie's 
screaming little brothers, ranging from the youngest who appeared to be 
around five, to the eldest at eleven.  They swarmed around me, bombarding 
me with questions.  When they found out that I was there to see Kallie, 
they all squealed and ran inside, whooping and chanting
"Kallie's got a boyfriend, Kallie's got a boyfriend!" in classic 
sibling-torturing style.
   'God I hope I have all girls when I have kids.' I thought to myself.  
   A few minutes later a red faced Kallie appeared at the front door.  She 
looked surprised to see me there, leaning against the white rental car with 
my arms folded.
   "Annoying, aren't they?" I said, smiling slightly.
   "Try living with them." she said in her usual blunt manner.
   "Want to go for a quick drive?  I need to talk to you about a few 
things."
   "That will only make it worse, but what the hell," she shrugged.
   I nodded and walked around to the drivers side.  She took the passenger 
side.  A few minutes later I was driving aimlessly around the back roads of 
my childhood town.
   "I'm guessing Jenny got to you okay?" Kallie said.
   "It depends on what you define as 'okay'.  I took her to a doctor.  She 
was malnourished.  The bruises are still there.  Faint, but you can see the 
traces of where they were."
   Kallie took a deep shuddering breath.  "I know.  I was surprised to see 
her.  If I had known what they were doing to her..." she blinked back the 
tears that were flooding her eyes.  
   "I know how you feel.  I'm still kicking myself for not coming up when I 
stopped getting her letters.  But I was scared that she had found someone 
else, and didn't want to have to break it to me."
   "That's nuts.  She's dedicated to you, Alex.  After you left, you were 
all that she talked about.  Half the time I was with her she was off in her 
head, daydreaming about you."  
   "I know that now.  But at the time, we hadn't seen each other in 
months... it gets to you."
   She nodded understandingly.  "So she's staying with you?  And why did 
you come back?  I figured the last place you'd want to see again would be 
this hole in the ground."  
   "I came back to talk to Jenny's parents."
   "What?  Are you crazy?  They'll call the cops on you, or worse!  He 
might just shoot you on sight!"
   "I've already been there."  I handed her the manila envelope.  "Look at 
the documents.  I don't know if you want to see the pictures."  
   She opened it up and dumped the contents on her lap.  She gasped when 
she saw the pictures of Jenny.  "I didn't know that it was this bad!" she 
exclaimed.  "I should have just called the cops!"  
   "It was better this way.  Read the documents, they're in legalese, but 
you should be able to get the gist of them."
   Kallie pulled the papers from under the pictures, scanning them quickly. 
 She gasped as she realized what the implications of them were, and who's 
signatures were on them.
   "You got them to let you take custody of her?  How the hell did you get 
them to sign them?"
   "Blackmail.  That's what the pictures were for.  I told them that I had 
the eye witnesses of the woman who picked her up and you, as well as the 
testimony of the doctor who saw her.  You should have seen their faces when 
I threatened to call the cops and CPS if they
didn't sign them."
   Kallie giggled.  "I can guess.  Wish I could have been there to see the 
bastards faces."
   "It was nothing compared to when I belted Jenny's father."
   "You hit him?" she said, wide eyed.
   "Well, he deserved it."  I said defensively.
   "Yeah, he sure did, hitting her like that.  Her mother could use a smack 
or two herself."  
   "I don't hit women."
   "Yeah, I suppose not.  Jenny always said you were to much of a 
gentleman.  So what are you two going to do now?"
   "Well, I figured that I'd finish college, and Jenny would get enrolled 
in the local school.  Maybe learn something for once in a classroom.  After 
that, I don't know.  Just play it by ear.  I just know we're happy.  
Jenny's been scarfing down food for the last two weeks, and has gained a 
lot of weight back.  The bruises have faded, and she seems happy."
   "Good.  I might have kept her at my house, but I don't know how my 
parents would have handled it.  It's crowded as it is.  Plus I figured that 
she'd be happier with you anyway."
   "Thanks for sending her to me, Kallie.  I don't know what we would have 
done if you hadn't helped her when she needed it."
   "We're best friends.  She's really my only friend.  I wanted what was 
best for her, even if it meant that I wouldn't be able to see her much 
anymore."
   "Well, you can always write, call each other."  Looking up, I realized 
we had come back full circle, and were now back on her street.  I pulled 
into the driveway, ignoring her little brothers who were making faces at me 
through the windshield and reached for a piece of paper, writing Jenny's 
and my address and phone number on it. "Call in a couple of days, collect. 
I'm sure Jenny will be glad to talk to you." I reached for my wallet and 
pulled out what had amounted to Kallie's life's savings before she had used 
it to get Jenny to me. "Here's your life savings back. Thanks." I said, 
then tried to hand it to her.
   She pushed it away.  "No, tell her I wanted to help.  It seems like if I 
took it back it
wouldn't mean as much.  She's helped me a lot, too.  I consider it kinda a 
pay back."  
   I nodded, and stuffed the money back in my wallet.  "You're smarter than 
you look, Kallie."
   "Tell that to my parents." Kallie laughed.  "That's my Mom glaring at is 
from the front door.  I'd better go."
   "Good talking to you.  I'm leaving tomorrow morning at nine.  I'll tell 
Jenny that you said hello.  If she'll talk to me when I get back." I 
grimaced.  "She didn't appreciate it much when I left her at her doctor's 
house while I was gone.  Said that she could take care of herself, but I 
didn't want to leave her alone."
   "Sounds like Jenny to me.  Don't worry, she'll come around."  Suddenly, 
she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.  I looked at her, stunned.  
"Well, if I'm gonna get teased, I may as well give it a little substance." 
she grinned at me.  I grinned back.  
   "Take care." I called as she got out.  She slammed the door and waved as 
I backed out of the driveway, her brothers swarming around her, no doubt 
nagging her to find out more about me.  
   Turning the car around, I headed back to the Walker's house.  I figured 
I'd be just in time for dinner.
  
End Chapter Twelve


Chapter Thirteen
----------------

   I had dinner with the Walkers that night.  They managed to drag out of 
me that I was living with someone, then I had to spend the next hour trying 
to describe her without telling them who she was or her age.
   Finally I went back to the house, went up stairs and collapsed on the 
familiar bed.  It was a little dusty, but by then I didn't really care.  I 
just wanted to sleep.

   Getting up early the next morning, I took a quick shower and did some 
last minute packing.  My plane left at nine that morning, and I still had 
to drive to Sandfield.
   The plane trip was hell.  It came complete with the standard screaming 
kid sitting behind me and the in-flight movie from Portland to Sacramento 
was a corny G-rated movie with talking animals.  By the time I landed I was 
in a thoroughly bad mood.  Then I picked up my car and noticed it had a new 
dent in the rear bumper.
   'Just one more of many.' I grumbled to myself as I tossed the boxes of 
clothes into the back seat.
   The clasp on Jenny's locket was broken, so I stopped by a few jewelers 
before I could find one that would fix it while I waited.  To do so wasn't 
cheap, but I figured it was worth it to see Jenny's face when I gave it 
back to her.  I was looking forward to seeing her again; this trip was the 
first time I had been apart from her for more than an hour at a time since 
she had moved back in with me.
   Jenny ran out to meet me when she heard the rattle of my car pulling 
into Dr. Sampson's driveway, obviously having been sitting by the front 
door waiting for me to arrive.  Jumping up, she hugged me around the neck 
as I climbed out of the car.  She had a fresh, clean scent about her, and I 
noticed that her hair was slightly damp.  I gave her a big hug, holding her 
tightly.  Kissing her wasn't an option, as it was curtailed by Dr. Sampson 
walking out the front door, smiling.
   "So, how'd it go?  Did they sign the papers?" Jenny asked excitedly.
   "Wait a minute.  Dr. Sampson's has a right to know, too." I said, 
letting Jenny down as he walked up to us.
   "Welcome back.  I'm guessing it went well." Dr. Sampson smiled and shook 
my hand.  Smiling back, I reached into the car and pulled out the manila 
envelope and pulled the papers out, handing them to him.  He scanned them 
quickly, and nodded in satisfaction.
   "Well, Jenny, looks like you have yourself a permanent place to stay 
from now on." he announced.
   Jenny squealed in a way only women can and hugged me again, this time 
forgetting about being careful around Dr. Sampson.  She kissed me full on 
the lips, and started
crying.  I held her as she let out the tension that had been building up 
over the past few weeks as she waited to find out what would happen to her, 
and to us.  I looked up, praying that he hadn't seen Jenny kiss me the way 
that she had.  But, judging by the look of surprise on his face, I could 
tell he had.  I could almost hear the gears spinning and clicking into 
place  as he sorted out what had been going on for the last few weeks.
   "I'm sorry." Jenny said a few minutes later, wiping the tears out of her 
eyes.  "I didn't mean to start crying, I'm just happy, that's all."
   Dr. Sampson nodded.  I could see what was coming.  He looked me straight 
in the eye and dropped the bomb.
   "You two are more than just good friends, aren't you?" he said slowly.  
Jenny gasped and looked at Dr. Sampson as she realized what she had done to 
bring that question on.
   "Yes, Dr. Sampson.  We are." I replied, looking defiantly at him.
   "I should have guessed from the beginning.  If I had known when you 
brought her in... well, let's not discuss that.  But I know you and Jenny, 
now, especially Jenny after her staying here the last few days.  I can look 
at you and see that you care for each other.  Jenny has been recovering 
nicely, and I don't think that it could have happened as quickly as it did 
if it hadn't been for you, Alex.  I can't say I approve, but I can't 
condemn you, either."
   "You're a bit more open minded than other people, Dr. Sampson. Thank you 
for your help with Jenny and I." I put my arms around Jenny again, looking 
at the doctor solemnly.
   "My pleasure.  I hope that the two of you will be as happy living 
together in a permanent arrangement as you seem to have been in the last 
couple of weeks."
   "I know I've been happy the last few weeks, and I think Alex has been, 
too." Jenny said with a smile.
   "Well then, good luck.  Remember you have another appointment with me in 
two weeks, Jenny. I'll see you then.  I'm sure you two want to get home, 
and Alex here looks like he could use a few hours of sleep."
   "I sure could." I admitted.  Thanking him again, Jenny and I climbed 
into the car.  We waved as I backed out of the driveway, heading for the 
place we could now truly call home.

                                                *****

   I pulled Jenny into a deep embrace as soon as the door to our apartment 
was closed.
   "I missed you." I murmured into her ear.
   "I missed you too.  But I've barely had any sleep in the last two days.  
The dreams kept waking me up, but I didn't have you to hold me." she 
admitted.  Looking closer, I could see the bags under her eyes caused by 
lack of sleep.
   "Well, I should be around now.  You won't have to wake up alone again.  
Eventually the dreams will go away."  We moved to the couch and sat in the 
dim light leaking from around the curtains on the windows.
   "I hope the dreams will go away.  They aren't as bad as the were when I 
came here."
   "They won't disappear overnight.  They have to fade over time, as the 
memories of what happened fade."
   Jenny sighed and lay down, her head on my lap.  I began to idly trace 
her face, feeling the familiar curves and lines under my fingertips.
   "So they just signed the papers?  It doesn't sound like them to me."
   "They argued a little bit.  Your father growled, but your mother made 
him sign.  That reminds me, I got something else from them."  I reached 
into my shirt pocket and pulled the locket out, the chain jingling.
   "You got it back!  How?  I thought I'd never see it again." Jenny 
exclaimed, taking it from my hand and holding it in front of her face, 
watching it glimmer in the dim light.
   "I can be very persuasive.  I had the chain fixed before I picked you 
up.  I figured you would want it back."
   "Yes!  You don't know how important it is to me.  I haven't felt right 
without feeling it hanging around my neck."
   "I know.  That's why I got it back." I kissed her forehead fondly.
   "I seem to be saying thank you a lot these days, but thanks."  She 
fastened the chain around her neck and lay down again, opening the locket 
to display our photos.  "What do you think will happen in the next few 
years?  Now that I'm legally supposed to live with you until I'm eighteen?  
Somehow I don't think that it would last that long if the 'authorities' 
knew that we were sleeping in the same bed."
   I laughed.  "We'll deal with it as it comes, Jenny.  That's really all 
you can do in life, anyway.  I'll finish college, you'll finish high school 
and go on to college if you like, and we'll see where we end up."
   "Will we end up together?"
   I looked down at her face, seeing the love in them, the trust.  "I think 
we will, yes.  I can't think of anything that would separate us, as long as 
we're careful and keep loving each other."
   "Good." she said, sitting up and wrapping her arms around my neck.  "I 
can't think of anyone I'd rather be with than you."
   I kissed her and said, "I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with than 
you, either.  So I think we'll be together for at least a little while 
longer."
   "Do I really need to go back to school?" she groaned, nuzzling her face 
into the crook of my neck.
   "Yes, I think so.  Schools down here aren't like the schools back home.  
Maybe you'll actually learn something here.  You can't just sit around here 
all day.  You might get addicted to bon bons, and then when you're twenty, 
where will you be?  Sitting on a couch unable to move, that's what."
   "Why would I not be able to move?" she asked, puzzled.
   "You wouldn't be able to move because the cute behind you have on you 
now will stick out half a foot, and your belly will have swelled to such 
proportions that you'll have to have your clothes custom made." I teased.
   I wasn't quite fast enough to dodge the pillow that thwacked into my 
face.
   "What was that for?" I complained, rubbing my nose and blinking.
   "I think you know." she giggled.
   "Really?  Well, I think I know what you need, little girl."
   "Little girl?  I'm not a..." I put my hand over her mouth, muffling her 
protests.
   "Yes, I know exactly what you need.  A good tickling lesson!"
   Jenny let out a muffled squeal and began to struggle, shaking her head 
against my palm.
   "Yes.  Where shall I tickle her first?  Ah, this looks like a good 
place!"  I grinned,  tickling her in the stomach.  She thrashed and pulled 
her mouth free of my hand, laughing.
   "Stop!  Stop!" she begged, trying to catch her breath.
   "Do you apologize for hitting me with a pillow?" I demanded playfully.
   "Yes!  Just stop!" she laughed, trying to pull my hand away from her 
stomach.
   I thought for a moment, continuing to tickle her.  "Apology accepted." I 
said, letting her go.
   Mistake.
   With strength I kept forgetting she had locked away in that small body, 
she wriggled up and managed to get her fingers into my sides, tickling 
mercilessly.  
   "Nyaaagh!" I laughed, trying to pull her arms away.  I got away by 
rolling onto the floor, only to have Jenny jump on top of me, pinning me to 
the floor.
   "Conniving wench!" I laughed, resisting weakly as she pinned my arms 
above my head.
   "Wench?  Who's on top again, tickle-man?" she grinned down at me.
   I grinned back up at her. "You are.  But who says I don't like you being 
there?  Or even let you be on top?"
   She laughed.  "Let's see you get free then."
   "You sure?"
   "Stop stalling and do it if you can.  Otherwise, I'm going to have to 
take advantage of your position." She winked at me.
   She shrieked in surprise when I lifted my arms and grabbed her wrists, 
pulling them back against her body.  I rolled over and pinned her in the 
same position she had just had me in a few seconds before.
   "Do I get to take advantage of your position now?"
   "How do you know I didn't let you get free so that you could take 
advantage of me?"
   "Try to get free now." I challenged.
   "I don't want to."
   "You don't want to, or you can't?"
   She lifted her head and kissed me, putting plenty of effort into it.  My 
grip weakened and suddenly she was on top again, still kissing me.
   "Can." she said triumphantly, breaking the kiss
   "No fair!  Taking advantage of a man's weaknesses that way!"
   "Brains always outdo braun."
   "Really?  I could roll us over and end up on top again, you know."
   "Not really.  You see, I have a little more control over you than just 
my strength."
   "I could just roll you over and take what I wanted, you know," I 
challenged.
   "No, you can't." she purred, burying her face against my neck, kissing 
down along my collarbone.
   "Why not?"
   "You're not that kind of person, and I know you would never do something 
like that to me."
   "You think you know me pretty well, don't you?"
   "Yes, I do." she said, pausing to look down at me, fire gleaming in her 
dark eyes, dark hair rolling over her left shoulder, tickling my face.  "I 
also know that you won't resist when I let your arms go."  She lifted her 
hands that were holding my wrists to the floor, and began to unbutton my 
shirt.
   So I gave in to the inevitable, the only doubt crossing my mind being 
that I hoped that I could someday end up as good of a man as Jenny seemed 
to think I could be.

End Chapter Thirteen


Chapter Fourteen
----------------

   Jenny called Kallie the next day.  They talked for over a half hour, 
much to my dismay when I saw the phone bill for that month.  I went back to 
work to get enough money to pay for it and the rent.
   Meanwhile, Jenny leveled out at a little under her old weight and seemed 
to have twice as much energy as when we first met.  Or perhaps I was just 
getting older.
   I finally convinced Jenny to enroll in the local public school, which 
wasn't too bad as
far as pubic schools went.  She struggled for the first few weeks, 
unaccustomed to actually having to work at getting good grades.  I helped 
her out, and she soon climbed to the top of her class.  Jenny also turned 
fifteen that September, and I nineteen when December rolled around.  No one 
seemed to question us living together, or the fact that I was her legal 
guardian, though we were nervous about it the first couple of months.
   Kallie kept us updated on Jenny's little sister Amanda; so far 
everything seemed fine.  No one from our old home town seemed to miss us 
except for Kallie and Amanda.  I hadn't heard from my father since he had 
left after our last confrontation, and Jenny's parents certainly weren't 
about to call us just to say hello, either.  An occasional letter managed 
to slip through from Amanda, who gave the letters to Kallie to send.  Not
wanting to risk getting Amanda in trouble, Jenny had Kallie also forward 
the letters to Amanda for her.

   Three, then six months passed.  We slipped into routine, myself 
attending college from seven A.M. until noon.  I'd work for six or seven 
hours, then come home to Jenny.  Then we'd make dinner and do our homework 
together, finally relaxing and reading a good book or listen to some music, 
as we had always enjoyed doing together.  It never seemed to get dull or 
boring.
   We became closer if possible, only separating during school hours.  
Jenny and I had made a few friends who jokingly referred to us as the 
Siamese twins, since we were always "joined at the hip".
   We celebrated our first anniversary that January.  This time Jenny 
cooked and I was pampered.  The spaghetti was definitely of higher quality, 
the French bread store bought.  Our last attempt at bread making during our 
semi-weekly "try something new night" had failed miserably, resulting only 
in some very flat overcooked bread and two people covered in flour and 
dough.
   Having very little money was one of our big problems, but we managed to 
scrape together small gifts for each other.  I gave her a pair of earrings, 
she gave me a new watch to replace the one I had lost to a wad of bread 
dough, another of the causes for the demise of our bread making  
experiments.
   We spent the evening talking of old times, old friends, and old problems 
now solved.  The one year hump had passed, and we were more in love than we 
had been in that first rush of emotion a year before.  Then we made a toast 
to ourselves, hoping for another year together, but planning for much 
longer.
   We made love that night, two candles replacing the fireplace we had lain 
in front of so many times in the past.  Finally we slowed to soft caresses 
and murmurs of contentment afterwards, watching the flames lick at the wax 
of the candles, slowly burning down their wicks.  Our eyes closed before 
the flames petered out, holding each other and dreaming of our future.

                                              *****

   "Alex, can you come down to my office as soon as possible?" Dr. Sampson 
asked.
   "Why?  Is Jenny all right?" I asked, fear freezing my heart.  Jenny had 
gone to see him earlier that day as she hadn't been feeling well all week.
   "Oh, she's fine.  More than fine, actually.  I just need to discuss 
something important with the two of you."
   I glanced at my watch.  "Well, my lunch break is in thirty minutes.  
I'll see if I can't get my boss to let me out a little early."  That is 
what really worried me; that he had considered it important enough that he 
had actually called me at work.
   "Good, I'll see you in a few minutes then."  He hung up.  I set the 
phone back on it's hook slowly, my mind whirling with worry despite the 
doctor's reassuring me that everything was fine.  So I went and talked to 
my boss, who let me go when I explained to him why I needed to go early.  I 
think the look of fear on my face was his main motivator for granting me 
the favor.
   I had to force myself to drive safely and without attracting police 
attention on my way to Dr. Sampson's office.  He met me in waiting room and 
led me back to where Jenny was sitting on one of the examination tables.
   "Are you all right?" I asked, rushing over to her and giving her a hug.
   "I'm fine.  At least that's what Dr. Sampson said, I don't know why he 
called you down here.  He just said it was important that we both hear this 
at the same time."
   I wrapped my arms around her waist, trying to be comforting, and turned 
to where Dr. Sampson was standing in the corner.  He looked more than a 
little uncomfortable.
   "So, what did you need to talk to us about?" I asked.
   "Well, I don't really know how to say this.  You could take this as a 
good or a bad thing."  He took a deep breath.  "Jenny, the bouts of nausea 
you've been having aren't the stomach flu, it's morning sickness.  You're 
four weeks pregnant."
   I could feel the blood drain from my face.  Jenny let out a little gasp 
and suddenly fainted, going limp and nearly rolling off the table before I 
caught her.  Frankly, I felt like joining her.  I lifted her back up onto 
the examination table, and sat beside her still unconscious body.  I looked 
over at Dr. Sampson, trying to pick my jaw up off the floor.
   "You're sure?  It's not a mistake?"
   He nodded.  "I ran the test three times. She's absolutely pregnant." he 
walked over and helped me hold Jenny up, since I was obviously struggling 
with the task considering my current frame of mind.  "Here, let's see if we 
can bring her around.  We need to discuss this."  Reaching into one of the 
cupboards he brought out some smelling salts.  I took them from him, 
wanting her to see me when she woke up.  I held it under her nose, and she 
woke up with a start.  Pressing her back down into the cushioning of the 
table, I told her to relax.
   She looked as frightened as I'd ever seen her.  "Oh god Alex, what are 
we going to do?  I'm not ready for this!"
   "Shh." I hushed her, putting a finger to her lips. "We'll deal with it.  
It's our responsibility.  I should have realized this would happen sooner 
or later, we weren't exactly intelligent about precautions."
   Dr. Sampson coughed.  "So, I'm guessing that you're the father?"
   I nodded slowly, the words almost overloading my mind.  'Father?  Me, a 
Father?  I don't think I'm ready for this, either.' I thought.
   "I figured that you were.  That's the main reason why I called you down 
here.  Now, you two have some choices to make.  You don't have to make them 
right away, but as time goes on, it'll be tougher to make them."
   I nodded that I understood and Jenny agreed.
   "Well, you have three decisions.  Abortion..."
   "No!" Jenny and I said simultaneously.  While neither of us were 
adamantly against abortion, neither of us felt it was a good solution for 
us, as we had discussed in the past when the issue had come up.
   The doctor nodded amicably, "Okay.  Abortion is out.  That leaves 
adoption and of course, keeping the baby.  I'll give you some papers, and 
some literature for you to
both read.  Call me when you make a decision.  I suggest that you both go 
home and have a long talk about this."
   We nodded numbly, shock settling in I think, and took the stack of 
papers on the way out of the office.  We drove home in silence, each lost 
in our own thoughts.
   I called my boss and told him I wouldn't back in that day due to a 
family emergency.  Then we sat on the couch.  We held each other, then 
Jenny began to cry.  I stroked her hair and rocked her, trying to calm her 
down.  I felt a few of my own tears mix with hers.
   "I'm scared Alex." she sobbed.
   "I'm scared too, Jenny.  But we'll work it out.  We always have in the 
past, and we can deal with this."
   "But I'm, we're not ready for this!  We talked about it, but never this 
soon.  Maybe a few years down the road, but not when I'm only fifteen!"
   "Yes, I know.  But it's happened now, and the question is, what are we 
going to decide?"  I already knew what I wanted, but I wasn't going to 
force my opinion on Jenny, no matter how important the issue was to me.  It 
was an important decision for both of us.  If she chose to give up our 
child then I would go along, and never tell her how I felt.  But I knew 
that I wanted this baby.  I wanted to know the child I had
fathered, whether it be a boy or a girl.  But she had to carry it for nine 
months, she had to suffer through delivery.  I'd helped make the baby, but 
I wasn't the one who would labor to bring it into the world.
   "I don't know.  I just don't know."  She placed a hand on her belly, as 
if trying to feel the child growing inside her.
   "It's okay, Jenny.  Don't decide now.  I think we both need to sleep on 
this.  It's too difficult to make a decision now.  But I want you to know 
that I'll go with what you feel is right.  I'll support you as I always 
have, but I think this has to be your decision.  I'll be ready to be a 
father if you decide to keep the baby, or not to be if you decide you want 
to give it up."
   "I'm just so confused... I can't even think straight.  All that keeps 
swirling through my head is 'I'm pregnant.  Oh my god, I'm pregnant'."
   "I can understand that, I'm not much better.  Let's just go to bed.  
Maybe it won't be so hazy tomorrow."
   Jenny agreed and we went to bed, even though it was only a little after 
eight in the evening.  We were both exhausted, the shock draining us.  We 
barely managed get out of our clothes and flop onto the bed.  Curling up 
together, we passed out.

   I slept soundly for the first few hours, dreams of babies of all shapes 
and sizes floating around my head.  Babies with rattles, babies in diapers, 
babies smiling, crying, cooing, smelling of talcum powder.
   Suddenly I was woken by Jenny shaking my shoulder violently.  I reached 
over and clicked on the light, looking over at her, bleary-eyed.  She had 
an excited, bright look on her face.
   "Alex!  I had this dream... she was talking to me!  Telling me, telling 
me..."  She stopped, confusion settling on her face like a mask, covering 
the excitement of a few seconds before.
   "Jenny, it was just a dream!  Relax."
   Light fired up in her eyes again, and a determined look surfaced.  "No, 
it wasn't just a dream.  Our baby, Alex, our baby told me in my dream that 
we should keep her... and Alex, I agree."
   I sat up at the realization of what she had said.  "Jenny, what are you 
saying?"
   "I'm saying I think we should keep the baby," she said firmly.
   "Jenny, I don't know if you should base your decision on a dream." I 
said seriously, trying to keep my feelings bottled up.
   "Alex, I knew that I wanted to keep the baby.  I just didn't want to 
admit it to myself.  I was worried about what would happen if I decided to 
keep it, and you really didn't.  I was also scared about being a mother, 
but now I know that I need to do it.  Not only for the baby, but for us, 
too."
   "You're sure?" I asked, staring into her eyes so I'd know she wasn't 
holding anything back.
   She took a deep breath.  "Yes, I am."
   I smiled and hugged her.  "Good, because I want to keep the baby too."
   "You do?  Really?  I was afraid that you didn't want to be a father yet. 
 You never seemed too sure about it when we talked about it."
   "I wasn't, until I was sitting in Dr. Sampson's office with you.  
Somehow I knew I wanted to be a father as soon as the news was out of his 
mouth."  I looked at Jenny.  "I love you more than anything, Jenny.  I'll 
love this baby just as much as I love you."
   Jenny smiled.  "I'm glad that you want to keep her as much as I do."
   "So am I.  But what's all this business about 'she'?  We don't know if 
it's a boy or a girl yet."
   "It's a girl." Jenny said, certainty in her voice.
   "But how do you know?" I insisted.
   "I just do.  Trust me."
   "Okay.  If you say it's a girl, it's a girl." I gave in, knowing her 
mind wouldn't be changed when she took that tone of voice.
   Jenny curled up against me.  "What do you think it will be like when my 
belly starts getting big?" she asked.
   "Well, I'm guessing you'll get the standard 'pregnant woman' courtesy 
from anyone you run across.  Your feet will start to hurt. Your bladder 
will fill to capacity every couple of minutes.  And you'll be more 
beautiful to me than you've ever been."
   "You always did know how to sweet talk me." Jenny laughed.
   "Well, I have to practice dealing with those upcoming mood swings."
   Jenny groaned and swatted me in the shoulder playfully.  Then we looked 
into each other's eyes, seeing our excitement and fear reflected in them.  
Suddenly she grabbed my hand and rested it on her stomach.
   "Feel anything?" she asked.
   I shook my head no, but kept my hand where it was.  It still amazed me 
to know that our child, our daughter if Jenny was correct, was growing 
inside her.  And somehow, lying there with my hand on her belly, I knew she 
was.

End Chapter Fourteen


Chapter Fifteen
---------------

   Dr. Sampson looked surprised the next day when we stopped by his office 
and told him that we were keeping the baby.  He didn't say anything, but I 
knew he had expected us to decide to give the baby up.  We had thrown off 
his assumptions about us once again, and I think he was beginning to see 
how deep the relationship was between Jenny and I.
   He sat us down and talk to us about what would be going on over the next 
few months, and the legal problems we might have to face.  He told us it 
was best if Jenny didn't say who the father was, since it could mean quite 
a bit of trouble for us if the more conservative members of the community 
found out.  It's not every day that a fifteen year old girl gets pregnant 
by her 19 year old legal guardian.
   We already knew this, and planned to keep the fact that she was pregnant 
secret as long as possible.  Rumors can get ugly, and we had no doubts that 
people would be suspicious of us, especially our friends.  He also went 
over nutrition changes she would need to have a healthy baby and gave us 
the approximate due date.  September twelveth, almost a week before Jenny's 
fifteenth birthday.  That put the date of conception pretty much right 
where we figured it would be, our first anniversary.
   Dr. Sampson ended his lecture, telling Jenny to come see him at least 
every two weeks, if not more often if she felt the need.  He wanted to keep 
a close eye on her considering her age.
   Jenny and I did feverous research, learning all we could about pregnancy 
and raising a child.  More than once we fell asleep on the couch while 
reading a particularly boring book, but kept at it.
   We resisted the urge to go out and start buying baby items, knowing that 
if we did it would be likely to blow the secret wide open.  But when 
Jenny's belly began to swell noticeably, it became difficult.  Her or my 
friends started commenting on Jenny's sudden weight gain, good naturedly 
joking with her or I about 'weight watchers' or 'Better start buying that 
low fat ice cream'.  Jenny and I just took it all in fun.
   Kallie was the only one we told.  She kept quiet when we asked, but I 
knew it was a strain on her.  When we called her and told her she was going 
to be a godmother, she laughed as if we were joking.   When we told her we 
weren't there was a long pause, something quite unusual when you were 
talking to Kallie.  When she finally recovered from the shock, there was a 
classic Kallie remark.  
   "Haven't you two ever heard of something called a rubber?"  When we 
didn't reply, she just said "I thought so.  Next time, think of it."  Then 
she laughed and said congratulations, and to send her plenty of pictures.
   Jenny had Kallie tell Amanda and swore her to secrecy.  I could imagine 
the look on Amanda's face when she found out.
   Dr. Sampson viewed our belief that the baby was female with skepticism 
until he confirmed it after we were able to tell the sex of the baby by 
ultrasound at 20 weeks into the pregnancy.  He jokingly asked us if we knew 
anything else about the baby that he as the doctor should know.  We told 
him we'd get back to him if anything popped up.

                                *****

   About four months in one of Jenny's friends commented that Jenny looked 
more pregnant than overweight and started laughing.  At least until she 
noticed that Jenny hadn't joined in, and who in fact turning bright red and 
looking more than a little scared.  Then our secret was out.
   Still, we managed to keep it in our small circle of friends, who were 
surprisingly supportive.  More than one guessed that I was the father.  
They knew that Jenny and I were inseparable, and they also knew she hadn't 
been seeing anyone in the last few months, and had repeatedly turned down 
date offers.  It was only logical, and they told us.  We didn't say 
anything to confirm it, but that proved it to them almost as much as if
we had come straight out and said it.  But there comes a point where you 
just can't hide it anymore.
   
   We thought we were doing pretty well, and the one evening Jenny met me 
at the door, pale as a sheet.  She fell into my arms and started to cry.  
Hugging her, I wondered if this was just another mood swing or something 
serious.  But she didn't usually fall apart like this, unless something 
really bad had happened.  I led her to the couch and sat down,
taking her with me.  I finally got the story out of her after she had 
calmed down some.
   "I got called down to the counselor's office today.  I was scared, since 
you know how I look now, it's pretty noticeable.  Mr. Simmons took me into 
his office and sat me down.  From the grim look on his face I knew that he 
had figured out that I was pregnant.
   "He said I knew I knew why I was down there, and told me he wanted to 
know the father's name, when I became pregnant, and if I had seen a doctor 
yet.  I told him it was none of his business.  He got a little angry, and 
demanded to know, or he said he would put me in detention 'until I had the 
baby on the floor' if he needed too.  Then I told him to go to hell and ran 
out of his office and left school.  I came home and waited for you to get 
back from work."
   I had listened to her story patiently, holding in my anger so I wouldn't 
upset Jenny.
   "You're not going to school tomorrow." I said, in what I hoped was a 
calm voice.  "I'm going to have a visit with Mr. Simmons."
   "What are you going to do?" she asked, almost fearfully.
   "I'm just going to have a talk with him, that's all." I said grimly.
   "Alex, please don't hit him like you hit my father.  He might press 
charges, and I don't want to take the chance of you getting in trouble."
   "Who told you that I hit your father?"  I asked, surprised.  I had 'left 
out' the part about my punching him when I had told her what had happened 
after my visit to Oregon.
   "Kallie did.  What did you think?  That you could hide it from me?" She 
giggled nervously, though obviously feeling a bit better.
   "Well, yes." I stammered.
   "If you didn't want me to know, you shouldn't have told Kallie.  She 
tells me everything."
   I grunted.  "One of these days I'll figure that out."
   "But then I'll never find out any of your secrets." she laughed.
   "I think that's the point."
   She just smiled and mumbled something about being tired.  I glanced at 
the clock, which read a little after nine.  Over the last few months Jenny 
had been going to bed progressively earlier.  She seemed to tire easily and 
I attributed it to her pregnancy.  Helping her up, I led her into the 
bedroom.  We undressed and got into bed, me leaning against the headboard 
with Jenny reclining against me.  I traced the curve of her stomach.  What 
had been the flat surface of a firm belly now bulged gently outward a few 
inches.  The date four short months away seemed to loom in front of us.  We 
had known sooner or later that the word would get out about Jenny's being 
pregnant, and it seemed that
it had finally happened.  In a way I was glad.  But the people at Hawkins 
Junior High School, in particular Mr. Simmons, would find out it wasn't a 
good idea to threaten Jenny.  If they upset Jenny, they upset me, and when 
I'm upset, you had better watch out.

                                                *****

   The next morning I drove up to Hawkins Junior High around nine am.  I 
was dressed to intimidate.  I looked every bit the banker, from the 
expensive tie down to the shiny black leather shoes.  Marching in the door 
to the front office, I stared down the secretary that sat behind the waist 
high counter blocking the rest of the office from visitors.
   "I'd like to see Mr. Simmons." I said, looking down at her with an 
expression as condescending as I could manage.
   "Yes sir.  What is the reason for your visit?" she asked politely.
   "Just tell him I'm here to talk about Jenny Baker."
   She nodded and picked up the phone.  After talking rapidly for a few 
seconds, she set the receiver down on the hook.
   "He'll see you in his office.  It's just down the..."
   "I know where it is.  Thank you."  I walked stiffly down the hall, 
keeping my face expressionless as a few children walked by me.
   The counselor's office was a small room, split into four offices for 
each of the guidance counselors.  I picked the one with Mr. Simmons name on 
it and knocked.  Someone called out 'come in' from the other side of the 
door.  I opened it, revealing a tiny office, a desk situated so that the 
window back lit it, emphasizing the shiny bald spot on top of Mr. Simmon's 
rather pudgy head.  When he heard me walk in he spun around slowly in his 
chair from where he had been looking out the window.  He looked at
me, the expression on his face that of a king looking down on a lowly 
peasant.
   "Ah." he said.  "I'm guessing you're the one who has come to see me.  
Please, sit down."
   "I'd rather stand, thank you.  I won't be long."
   He nodded.  "Fine, then.  Let's get to why you came to see me.  The 
secretary told me you came to talk about Jenny Baker.  How do you know her?"
   "I'm Mr. Braxton, Jenny's guardian.  I understand you called her down 
here yesterday.  When I came home I found her there, very upset about what 
you had said to her."
   "I see.  What did she tell you that I said?" he said carefully.
   "That you had asked her about her pregnancy.  When she refused to answer 
your questions, you threatened her with, what was it, 'Detention until she 
had her baby on the floor'?"
   He snorted.  "I said nothing of the sort.  I simply asked her who the 
father was, and if she had seen a doctor yet."
   "Are you saying, Mr. Simmons, that Jenny is lying?" I glared at him with 
barely concealed hatred.
   "Oh, I wouldn't say that.  Just a small untruth.  Children tell them 
sometimes." he said soothingly.  I felt greasy just talking to him.
   "Mr. Simmons, I don't think Jenny is lying, I think you are."
   His nostrils flared and he lurched forward, rolls of fat rasping against 
the leather upholstered arms of his chair.
   "Are you calling me a liar?" he sputtered in rage.
   "Yes, I am." I said coolly.  I stared at him, slowly lowering my hands 
to the desk in front of me until my face was no more than six inches away 
from his.
   "Jenny is pregnant, yes.  But it is none of your business.  I have no 
faith in you so called 'guidance counselors'.  I have a firm belief that 
you often do more harm than good.  Now, you upset Jenny.  I want you to 
know something very important.  If you upset Jenny, you upset me.  And 
trust me when I say this, Mr. Simmons.  I'm not a good person to be around 
when I'm upset.  Especially when that person near me is the cause of my 
being upset.
   "Don't touch her, don't talk to her.  Leave her alone.  If you don't, 
you and this school will find itself at the wrong end of some extensive 
litigation, where your record here would be thoroughly investigated.  Do I 
make myself clear, Mr. Simmons?"
   He nodded slowly.
   "Good.  That was the only purpose of my visit here.  Good day."  With 
that, I turned on my heels and walked out.  I could feel his gaze drilling 
into my back as the door closed.

                                            *****

   Jenny never asked me what I said to Mr. Simmons.  I could tell she 
wanted to when I came home that night, telling her that she could go back 
to school and not have to worry about being bothered.  We were both glad 
when the school year ended.  Word had of course gotten out about Jenny 
being pregnant, and she was soon the center of school
gossip once again.
   Jenny and I kept up on our morning walks, the distances becoming less 
and less as the baby grew within her.  Her choice of meals got a little 
odd; I had heard of this in various books.  I had never thought that lime 
Jell-O with olives suspended in it would appeal to even a pregnant woman, 
but Jenny loved it, eating huge bowls of it at a time.  She couldn't tell 
me why, nor did she ever eat it again after the baby was born.

   June rolled into July and then into August, and Jenny became very 
obviously pregnant.  As time went on she rarely left the apartment unless I 
was driving, preferring to stay inside by the air conditioner with a good 
book.  There is no one more miserable than a  woman almost eight months 
pregnant sitting out in the sun, the thermometer topping off at a hundred 
and five degrees.
   I did what I could to make her comfortable and to support her, but it 
wasn't easy.  I rubbed her feet, massaged her back, and made her Jell-O.  
The mood swings were disorienting for both of us.  One minute she would be 
telling jokes, the next she'd be crying on my shoulder.  But we worked 
through it.
   Then our daughter arrived a bit earlier than we had planned.

End Chapter Fifteen


Chapter Sixteen
---------------

   It was early morning in late August when Jenny woke me.
   "Alex, think it's time." she panted, holding her stomach.
   "Time?" I asked groggily.  "Time!" I said, as realization of what she 
had just said hit me.  "But she's not due for another two weeks!"
   "I don't think she cares!" she groaned in pain as a contraction rolled 
over her.
   "Okay, okay!" I said, jumping out of bed and running back and forth at 
it's foot aimlessly, starting to panic.  "How far apart are the 
contractions?" I asked, frantically searching for the suitcase Jenny had 
packed weeks before.
   "About five minutes."
   "Five minutes?  How long have you been having them?" I asked, shocked 
that they were already that close.
   "Half an hour.  But I thought it was just cramps.  But now I'm pretty 
sure it isn't."  She gasped as the next contraction started.
   "Well, remember to breathe!  I'll call the hospital and Dr. Sampson, 
you... well, just stay here and yell if you need me."
   "Okay." she gasped.  I ran out of the bedroom, wondering at how calm she 
seemed to be.  I knew I wasn't as I hit the speed dial button for Dr. 
Sampson.  Jenny had put it there, along with the hospital's number.
   'She always thinks of these things, thank god.' I thought as I listened 
to the line ring.  Dr. Sampson picked up.
   "Hello?" he said groggily.
   "Dr. Sampson!  This is Alex... I think Jenny's gone into labor!" I 
almost yelled into the receiver.
   "Calm down, Alex.  Let's make sure it's for real.  How far apart are the 
contractions?"
   "Jenny said five minutes.  She just woke me up a couple minutes ago."
   "All right.  What did she eat for dinner?  Are you sure it's not just 
stomach pains?"
   "Uh, I don't know...."  Then Jenny cried out from the bedroom.  I 
dropped the phone on the floor with a clatter and rushed into the bedroom.
   "Oh my god!" I said, seeing the wet spot spreading across the bed where 
Jenny was laying.
   "I think my water just broke." Jenny said, fear clear in her eyes as she 
looked at me, as she realized that this was really happening.  I ran out of 
the room, only to screech to a stop and rush back in.
   "Are you all right?" I asked her, my eyes likely as wide as saucers.
   "Besides the fact that I'm having a baby, I'm fine!" she growled as 
another contraction started.  I nodded and ran back out to the living room, 
grabbing up the receiver again.
   "Her water just broke!" I cried, dancing from foot to foot like a little 
kid who needed to use the bathroom.
   "Well, that generally means that it's for real.  Get her to the 
hospital, and I'll head out now."
   "Yeah, yeah.  I'll do that.  See you there!"  I slammed down the phone, 
then ran for the bedroom.  I nearly got rug burn on the the soles of my 
feet as I slid to a stop on the carpet and ran back to the phone to call 
the hospital, thankful again for the speed dialing.  After that was done, I 
raced in and told Jenny we were going to the hospital.
   "About time!" she groaned.  Quickly, I dressed then helped her out of 
bed and down to the car, glad that I had parked so close.  I had climbed 
into the drivers seat and inserted the key into the ignition before I 
realized that I had forgotten the suitcase.  I leapt out of the car and ran 
back into the apartment, remembering to lock the door this time on my way 
out.
   My tires squealed as I drove out of the parking lot.  Jenny screamed for 
me to slow down, telling me we still had time.  So I kept it at only ten 
over the limit, thankful for the light traffic of early morning.
   The sun was just peaking over the horizon as we pulled into the parking 
lot.  I ran in and got a nurse with a wheelchair to help Jenny inside.  A 
moment later Dr. Sampson drove up.  He smiled at us as he walked in.
   "Well, it seems that she decided to come out a couple of weeks early, 
eh?" he said, the usual jolly twinkle in his eye.
   "Will she be all right?" Jenny asked, worried.
   "Oh, a couple weeks early shouldn't be a problem.  We'll get you checked 
in, and take a look."

   We got Jenny into her room, helping her onto the bed.  The room was 
nondescript, typical white hospital walls, a couple of generic chairs, and 
a fetal monitor to the right of the bed.  The window looked out across the 
street at an office building, where the early morning sun was just 
beginning to reflect off the tint-darkened glass.  I pulled up a chair and 
sat next to Jenny, holding her hand as she tried to crush mine every time a 
contraction hit.  I did my best to smile, wishing I could do something to 
help her with the task she had, but I knew there was little I could do.
   Soon the contractions were only two minutes apart.  Dr. Sampson was 
surprised that it was going so quickly, especially on a first birth.  I 
stayed rooted next to Jenny, the contractions being painful to the point 
that she was sweating profusely, screaming every time one came on.
   I helped her best I could, wiping her brow and looking into her fear and 
pain filled eyes with what I hoped was a comforting, confident look.

   The time finally came, and Dr. Sampson lifted Jenny's legs into the 
stirrups.  When the next contraction started, he told her to push.  I 
encouraged her as she strained, pushing hard.  Our daughter's head started 
to emerge as I gazed on in rapt astonishment.  He told her to push again, 
and out popped the rest of her head, then her shoulder.  One more push, and 
she slid out with a gush of fluid.  A few seconds later, I heard the scream 
of a newborn baby girl crying for the first time.
   The nurses cleared the baby's nose and mouth and cleaned her off, then 
wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to me, smiling as I gazed proudly 
down at my baby daughter.  I carried her over to a tired, sore but happy 
Jenny and handed the baby to her.
    She immediately cradled her in her arms, seeming to smile brighter than 
I had ever seen her smile before, her face fairly aglow with pride and 
relief.  Tears began to roll down her face.
   "She's beautiful." I whispered to her.  I gazed down at our daughter's 
face, admiring her tiny, perfect features, a small patch of dark brown hair 
dusting the top of her head.  Then her eyes slowly opened, and I looked 
into the deepest blue eyes that I had ever seen.

                                                *****

   Jenny and the baby stayed at the hospital for the next few days.  
Thankfully there were no complications; the baby was healthy, weighing in 
at seven pounds, three ounces.  Five toes on each foot, four fingers and a 
thumb on each perfect little hand.
   Jenny and I couldn't figure out where she had gotten her blue eyes from, 
until I remembered that my mother had had blue eyes.  But that, it seemed, 
was the only feature that seemed to come from my side of the family.  She 
looked very much like her mother, from the dark brown of her sparse hair to 
her pale white skin.
   After much debate, we decided on a name only a few hours after her 
birth.  We named her Skyla, a name from a book we had both read.  With her 
sky blue eyes, it seemed to fit her well.
   Her birth certificate read "Father unknown".  That stung me.  Over the 
last few months and particularly the last few days, I had come to love 
Jenny more than I had ever thought possible.  Now I had my daughter to love 
as well,  but legally she wasn't my daughter.  Her father was 'unknown', 
and that hurt me much more than I had thought it would.

   I set up Skyla's crib next to Jenny's and my bed.  The only other place 
to put it would be the living room, and we figured it would be easier if 
she was in the same room as we were.  The room was small enough that you 
could practically reach her by just sitting up in bed and reaching over the 
crib bars.  We planned to get a two bedroom apartment in the future if we 
could afford it, but for now it was perfect.
   Jenny and Skyla came home a few days later.  We put her to bed in her 
new crib, then watched her sleep, sleep being the thing that newborns seem 
to do an awful lot.  I wrapped my arms around Jenny and hugged her.
   "Can we procreate or what?" I joked.
   Jenny smiled.  "We sure can.  We're very lucky."
   I kissed her on the head.  "Jenny, let's go into the living room.  I 
need to talk to you about something."
   "What?" she asked, curious.
   "You'll see.  Just come on." I walked toward the living room, pulling 
her with me away from the crib.  She looked back once more, double checking 
that Skyla was all right, then followed me into the living room.  Motioning 
for her to sit on the couch, I sat down
facing her.
   "Over the last few months, I've been thinking a lot about us.  Pretty 
soon we'll have been together for two years.  We've been living together 
for more than one, and now we have a daughter.  I saw her birth 
certificate, and noticed where it was supposed to say the fathers name.  Of 
course it didn't have mine, but instead said 'unknown'.  I knew that it 
wouldn't, but it bothered me.  It bothered me a lot."
   "What are you saying, Alex?" she asked, looking a little curious.
   I took a deep breath, feeling a little shaky.  "I need to ask you 
something."
   "You know you can ask me anything.  So go on." she prodded.
   "All right."  I reached into my pocket, holding my hands together so she 
couldn't see what I had pulled out.  "This is the most important question 
I've ever asked you, Jenny.  I've loved you I think since the day I first 
saw you shivering in the cold on that bus.  I think I'll always love you.  
And that's why I'm asking you this now."  I opened my
hands, revealing a black velvet covered case.  I pulled it open, reveling 
the glittering ring inside.  "Jenny, will you marry me?"
   She gasped, her jaw dropping open in shock.  For a few seconds she just 
stared at me, and at the ring.  My heart stopped for those few seconds, 
more scared in that moment that she would say no than I had ever been at 
any other time in my life.
   "Oh Alex!" she whispered.  "You mean it? I didn't expect you to..." she 
stopped, at a loss of words.
   "I mean it, Jenny.  All you have to do is say yes or no.  But I hope 
with all my heart you'll say yes."
   "Yes." she whispered.  "Yes.  You know I love you and Skyla more than 
anything.  I would have said yes two weeks ago, six months ago, a year ago. 
 I'll marry you."  We sat in silence for a couple of seconds, letting what 
we had just said sink in.  Then we nearly leapt into each other's arms, and 
hugged one another tightly.  She began to cry, and I could feel my own 
tears dripping off my cheeks and soaking into her hair.
   My hand shaking, I took the ring from the case, and slid it slowly onto 
her finger, doing my best to burn the memory of that moment into my mind 
forever.  I kissed her, and she melted into my arms.  Looking down at her, 
I realized that she was the girl I was going to marry.  If you had told me 
before I met Jenny that I would be engaged to a beautiful, wonderful woman 
by the time I was nineteen, I would never have believed you.  Now I was 
engaged to be married, and I had a child to boot.  A shocking turn of 
events for less than two years by anyone's definition.  But, finally, we 
would be together, with no one able to separate us.  Finally, we would both 
have a real family.
   Just Jenny, Skyla, and me.

End Chapter 16


Chapter 17
--------

   A few seconds later we heard Skyla crying from the bedroom.  Jenny and I 
got up and went into the bedroom to check on her.
   "She's hungry." Jenny said, beginning to unbutton her blouse.
   "How can you tell?" I asked, confused.
   "I just can, that's all."  
   She picked up Skyla and sat down on the bed.  I put a couple of pillows 
behind her back, propping her up against the headboard.  She tickled 
Skyla's cheek with her nipple, then led it to her mouth, letting her 
suckle.  I watched with interest through the entire routine.  Somehow I had 
managed to never see Jenny nurse Skyla in all the times I had seem them at 
the hospital, being busy with work I wasn't usually around until the 
evenings at the hospital.  I sat next to her on the bed so I could watch, 
and Jenny shifted
position until she was leaning comfortably against me.  Wrapping my arms 
around her waist, I helped her support Skyla, not that Skyla weighed enough 
to make it a two person job.
   "Why does this fascinate me so much?" I said, taking Skyla's hand in 
mine, running my thumb over the skin on the back of her tiny wrinkled hand, 
feeling her grab it in reflex in fingers no thicker than a matchstick with 
fingernails to match.
   "Because she's your baby daughter.  I think you'll be fascinated by most 
everything she does for a while." Jenny smiled indulgently.
   "I still can't believe how small she is.  What if I hurt her by 
accident?  I have no experience with babies, only what I've read in books."
   "Dr. Sampson said to do what comes naturally.  He also said he had faith 
that we'd be good parents to her.  You're a gentle person, and I think that 
you'll be as gentle as you can possibly be with her.  Don't worry so much 
about it."
   "I'm a father.  I'm supposed to worry."
   "It's going to be interesting to see how you react when she goes out on 
her first date." Jenny said with a laugh.
   "First date?  She's less than a month old, and you're talking about 
first dates?  My god, and here I was worried about changing my first 
diaper!" I shook my head woefully.
   "Alex, relax.  Her first date won't happen until she's at least six."  
She started laughing again when she saw the look on my face.  Skyla was 
having a hard time keeping her mouth in place.
   "Okay, okay.  You can stop laughing now.  I realize you were just 
joking." I grumbled.  Jenny just laughed harder, until it stopped abruptly 
when I leaned over suddenly and kissed her.  I'd found out long ago that 
that was the quickest, easiest way to quiet her down when she was needling 
me.  She pulled back a few seconds later, still smiling.
   "The nurses were right when they said new fathers are the most gullible 
people on the planet when it comes to their children."
   "Conniving women.  Can't trust any of them." I grumbled.  Jenny laughed 
some more.
   "Conniving?  Us?  We're just innocents, here for you strong men to 
manipulate and take care of us, and to raise the children," she snickered.
   "Hey, if you keep laughing like this, we're going to have to start 
bottle feeding Skyla." I said, ignoring her last remark and pointed down to 
where Skyla was still struggling to keep Jenny's nipple from escaping her 
mouth.
   "Oops, sorry Skyla.  I think she's almost full anyway." Still, she 
managed to keep from laughing until Skyla finished a few moments later.
   "Do you want to hold her?" She asked.
   "I've love to."  So far I'd only been able to hold her every once in a 
while for a few minutes until the nurses came and stole her away from me.  
Skyla whined a bit when Jenny handed her to me, but relaxed again when she 
settled into my arms.  I leaned back against the headboard.  Jenny lay 
down, head propped up on one arm, looking at us with a small smile on her 
face.
   "You look so proud you could burst." she said, watching me look 
adoringly down at Skyla, who had fallen asleep in my arms, much to my 
delight.
   "I am.  I've never helped create anything so perfect in my life."
   She smiled, understanding how I felt.
   "You wanted to keep her from the moment you found out I was pregnant,
didn't you?" she asked.
   "Yes." I said absently, not really paying attention to what she was 
saying.  I was too busy watching Skyla's chest rising and falling 
rhythmically, again amazed at the amount of body heat such a small person 
could generate.
   "And if I had told you I wanted to give her up for adoption, you would 
never have told me that you wanted to keep her, would you?  You would have 
let yourself be miserable, never knowing who your child was, just to give 
me that choice?"
   I sighed, closing my eyes and letting my head fall back and thump 
against the wall.
   "Jenny, I told you that it was your choice, one I felt you had to make 
for yourself.  If I protested and insisted that we kept the baby, I might 
have pushed you into something you weren't ready for.  I might have 
alienated you, and you might have left, no matter what you say you would 
have done now.  I would rather have lost the baby to adoption than to
run the risk of loosing you and the baby.  Losing the baby would have hurt, 
but losing you and the baby would have destroyed me."
   Jenny considered this, and slid up next to me resting her head on my 
shoulder and looking down at where Skyla slept in my arms.
   "I'm glad I decided to keep her."
   "So am I.  More than you'll ever know."
   Jenny looked up into my eyes.  "I think I know, Alex.  Just by looking 
at you when you're near her, or even when you're just thinking about her.  
I also know that you'll never hurt her, just as you've never hurt me.  You 
will be a wonderful father."
   "And you will be a wonderful mother." I said, kissing her.
   The dry southwestern wind billowed out the curtains on the open window 
as two new parents lay together, watching their newborn daughter sleep in 
their arms, the soft whisper of her breathing filling their ears.
                                        ******

   The first month Skyla was home was a blur of crying, sleeping, wedding 
preparations, phone calls, and visits from friends.  Most of said friends 
asked me why it took me so long to ask Jenny 'the big question'.
   Kallie, of course, was the first one to hear.  Jenny called her the same 
night I asked her to marry me.
   "About time." she said, voice crackling hollowly over the speakerphone.  
"You two have been all over each other for almost two years now.  'Bout 
time you actually got married, especially with a kid around."
   "You could be a little more ecstatic about this, you know." I said 
sarcastically.
   "Why should I be?  It's more fun this way; it makes it easier to get 
under your skin, Alex dear." she said sweetly.
   Jenny snickered.  "So are you going to come down here for the wedding, 
and see Skyla while you're at it?  I know you've been drooling over those 
pictures we sent you for the last few days.  Don't bother denying it."
   "I wasn't going to, she's beautiful.  You two do good work, even if it 
was accidental.  When's the wedding so I can start planning my escape?"
   "Well, we haven't talked about a date yet..." Jenny said, looking at me.
   "Let's set one then.  Your birthday's coming up here in less than a 
month.  What better way to celebrate your sixteenth birthday?"
   "What a great idea!  But how will we manage to get it all set up in less 
than a month?  Especially when we have to take care of Skyla, too?" Jenny 
asked.
   "We'll figure something out." I told her, and kissed her for what seemed 
the hundredth time in five minutes.  It was just as sweet as if it was the 
first time.
   "All right, all right, you two.  You gonna go for a second kid while 
paying long distance just so I can hear?"
   "No, Kallie," I said.  "I think she's just jealous." I whispered loudly 
into Jenny's ear.  She barely stifled a giggle.
   "I heard that, Alex!"
   "Well, I can't keep anything from you, Kallie.  Ears so big they can 
pick up a whisper thousands of miles away." I grinned.
   "You're going to earn yourself a fat lip on your wedding day if you keep 
saying things like that." Kallie growled.
   "Sheesh.  One baby in the bedroom, one in the living room, and one two 
thousand miles away." Jenny sighed.
   "Baby?  Me?  I'm thwee yeaws owld, not a baby." I pouted comically.  
Jenny nearly fell over laughing when she saw my face.
   "Just as long as you're potty trained.  We've got enough dirty diapers 
to go around now, without you adding to the load."
   I couldn't help but grin.  Then Kallie broke in again.
   "If you two loons would stop laughing, we could get around to planning 
this.  Also, you need to send me another set of pictures.  I made the 
mistake of showing Amanda the pictures of her niece.  I was barely able to 
tear them away from her, and now whenever she sees me she begs for another 
look."
   "We didn't think about that.  We'll send you some more tomorrow." Jenny 
promised.
   "Also, don't you think she'll want to come down with me when I tell her 
you two are getting married?"
   "We didn't think of that, either." I sighed.  "We'll work something out 
there, too."
   "Good.  Well, it's getting late, I'd better go.  Keep me updated."
   We both said good bye, and Kallie hung up.  Then we went to bed, at 
least until Skyla would wake and demand another feeding or diaper change.

   Skyla woke up crying in the middle of the night three times.  Once she 
was hungry, once it seemed she was just lonely, and the third time with a 
dirty diaper.  I got my first lesson in diaper changing that night.  
There's nothing quite like changing a smelly diaper at four A.M.  Jenny and 
I, like most new parents, were living off micro-sleep.  We fell asleep 
reading, I fell asleep at work.  Once or twice I even fell asleep on the 
toilet.  It
wasn't so much the waking up that was draining us, it was getting Skyla 
back to sleep.
   One night I was walking around the bedroom, trying to get Skyla to stop 
crying.  Jenny was passed out in bed, it being it was my turn to get her to 
go back to sleep.  She'd been quick to learn the parenting skill of being 
able to sleep through anything, I hadn't had much luck with it yet.  
   Finally in exhaustion I lay down on the bed, resting her belly-down on 
my chest.  I was bare chested, it being much too warm still to sleep with 
much of anything on.  Skyla only had on her diaper, so we were fairly skin 
to skin, as much as could be done without risking a mess on the bed.  
Magically she stopped crying, and within a few minutes was fast asleep.  
Apparently the sound of my heart beating and the warmth of my chest made 
her relax to the point that she would fall fast asleep.  Having her lying 
on my chest seemed to have the same effect on me, since I passed out soon 
after.

   I woke up the next morning to the motion of Jenny sitting up in bed.  I 
glanced over through bleary eyes, only to see her looking at Skyla and I in 
amusement.
   "You slept like that all night?  How did you keep from moving?" she 
asked, stroking the back of a still passed out Skyla.
   "I have no idea.  But I haven't slept that well in weeks." I yawned, 
trying to stretch while disturbing Skyla as little as possible.
   "Well, it looks like I'll just have to share your chest with Skyla, 
then.  Like mother like daughter." she said, referring to the fact that her 
favorite position to fall asleep was cuddled up against my side, her head 
resting on my chest.
   "Well, you could always put your head on my stomach." I joked.
   "What?  With your stomach gurgling all night against my ear?  I'd dream 
that I was being chased by the blob!" she laughed.
   From then until Skyla started sleeping through the night I would often 
wake up with Skyla sleeping on my chest, whether I put her there while I 
was awake or if Jenny put her there after her two A.M. feeding.  I was 
scared to death of rolling over and crushing her, but I never seemed to 
move much while sleeping, at least when Skyla was asleep on my chest.

   Jenny bounced back quickly after she had Skyla.  To look at her, you 
would never be able to tell that she had ever had a baby.  A few weeks 
later Dr. Sampson told her it was all right to 'engage in all your old 
activities', and Jenny went on birth control immediately.  Skyla was 
wonderful, but we didn't think that we wanted to take the chance of Jenny 
getting pregnant again.  At least not for a few more years.
   Jenny took the first semester of school off, wanting to stay home with 
the baby.  I tutored her every night after work so she wouldn't fall too 
far behind.  I had advanced in my studies far enough to be able to get a 
better job at a local software company, working as a programmer part time.
   Eventually I was able to talk my boss into letting me telecommute so I 
could stay home with Skyla during the day.  It paid only slightly more for 
longer hours, but I was happy to be able to stay home with Skyla.  I 
switched to night school so I could handle it.  It would take longer for me 
to graduate, but I felt the new job and the baby required it.
   We planned a small wedding, only inviting a few of our friends, 
including Kallie and Amanda of course.  At the last minute we managed to 
get Amanda to come down for the wedding by her telling her parents that she 
was going on a school trip for a few days.  Why they bought it I'll never 
know, perhaps they just wanted some time alone badly enough to believe 
anything.
   There were a few legal hoops to jump through due to Jenny's age.  It 
took a couple of lawyers and a loan from Dr. Sampson to do it, but we 
managed.  He was shocked that we were going to get married, but was all for 
it once he recovered.  Then he was again shocked when Jenny and I asked him 
to walk Jenny down the isle, since we obviously couldn't ask her father to 
do so.  He accepted with enthusiasm, but his wife had to prod him once or 
twice until he shook out of his daze.

   Kallie and Amanda arrived three days before the wedding.  They spent the 
entire trip from the bus station teasing me with questions like 'Are you 
nervous?' and 'You aren't getting cold feet, are you?'  I got Amanda to 
shut up when I started calling her 'little sister to-be'.  Kallie was of 
course as unstoppable as always.  I was glad to get home, where their 
attention was immediately riveted to Skyla.  They spent the next hour 
cooing over her.  Jenny and I just sat back and watched amusedly as they 
made faces and talked baby talk.  Finally Skyla decided that she had had 
enough and started crying.  They both watched wide eyed as Jenny started 
nursing Skyla.  I started to crack a joke but stopped myself, realizing 
that I must have looked the same way when I had first seen Jenny do it.   
   Jenny was very open and nonchalant about nursing in public.  She was 
adamant about it being a "perfectly natural function of the female body 
that had been done in public for centuries" and "nothing to hide or be 
ashamed of".  Anyone who got on her case about it quickly learned how sharp 
a tongue  Jenny had when she needed to use it.  I had to agree; there is 
nothing lewd or "indecent" about a woman nursing.  The people who thought 
otherwise, in my opinion, were so uptight that they probably showered with 
their underwear on.

   The next few days were exhausting, what with the wedding plans, Skyla, 
and especially Kallie and Amanda.  Whenever they heard Skyla starting to 
cry they rushed in to see what was wrong.  Not only did Jenny and I never 
get any privacy, but it made it harder to get Skyla back to sleep.
   Jenny and I had wisely chosen to wear pajamas to bed while Amanda and 
Kallie were staying with us, making both of us uncomfortable.  (Try 
sleeping in the nude for ten years, and then switch back to wearing 
pajamas.  Then move to New Mexico into an apartment with less than adequate 
air conditioning.  See how comfortable you are.)  I was
also reluctant to pull my trick of letting Skyla sleep on my chest, I 
didn't want to deal with the comments from Kallie and Amanda.
   The second night Kallie and Amanda were with us, Skyla woke up and 
wouldn't fall asleep after thirty minutes of constant crying.  The entire 
crew was there, cooing over her, trying to quiet her down.  Personally I 
thought that was half the problem, Skyla wasn't used to having a lot of 
people around.
   Finally I gave in and pulled my pajama top off.  I blushed bright red 
when Kallie whistled and said "Oh yeah, take it off!" and started laughing. 
 Jenny and Amanda started to laugh as well until I glared at them.  Even 
then I could still hear them giggling as I took Skyla from Kallie and lay 
down with her on my chest.  I blushed again when the inevitable "Aww, how 
sweet!" came from Kallie and Amanda.  Living with four girls, for any 
period of time can be destructive to a man's macho image.  I could feel it 
crumbling as I heard the click of Kallie's camera.
   "I just had to get that on film." she grinned.  I grumbled and gave her 
the finger when Jenny wasn't looking.
   "You should have taken it when he's wearing his normal pajamas." Jenny 
giggled.
   "Jenny, please don't." I pleaded.
   "What does he normally wear?" Amanda asked curiously.  
   "Nothing." Jenny said and grinned.
   I groaned and covered my eyes as the room filled with high pitched 
female laughter and whistles again.  Then Skyla started to cry again, 
waking from her temporary silence on my chest.  'Thank god.' I thought.
   "Everyone out!" I growled.  "I want to get some sleep, and all of you 
squawking in here isn't helping me or Skyla get any!"
   "Aww, spoil sport!" Jenny laughed.  But Kallie and Amanda obeyed for 
once, filing reluctantly out of the room, one more wolf whistle trailing 
after them.
   "Did you have to tell them that?" I complained to Jenny after they had 
left, shutting off the lights and closing the door after them.
   "No, but I wanted to show off my fiancee." She smiled and cuddled up 
next to me, giving my cheek a quick peck.
   "Well, I guess I can forgive you then." I chuckled.
   "Good." she mumbled, then fell asleep.  Skyla was already asleep, her 
small body rising and falling with my breath.  I trailed a finger down her 
back, and she made a little noise and shifted herself a little.  I kissed 
her on the top of her head, the soft fuzz of her hair tickling my nose.
   'I never imagined my life could be so wonderful.' I thought to myself.  
'Now if I could just get those two out of my living room...' I smiled to 
myself.  'The next few days are going to be very interesting.'

End Chapter 17



Chapter 18
---------

   I woke up the next morning to Skyla's weight being lifted off my chest.  
I opened my eyes sleepily, Jenny hovering over me.
   "She was awake, so I thought I'd give her breakfast." she whispered, 
leaning over a peck on the lips. "Go back to sleep, we don't have to get up 
for another couple of hours."
   I stretched and yawned.  "No, I'll never get back to sleep now.  I think 
I'm more addicted to Skyla sleeping on my chest than Skyla is."
   Jenny smiled at me and shrugged off the straps of her nightgown and 
started to feeding Skyla.  "Tomorrow's the big day.  Got cold feet yet?" 
she teased.
   "Cold feet?  Me?  As long as I'm marrying you, I could never get cold 
feet."  I scooted up on the bed next to Jenny and wrapped my arm around her 
waist.  "How do you feel?"
   "Good.  Nervous, though.  But I'll be fine."  She leaned her head on
my shoulder and kissed my neck.  "I'll bet you look good in a tux."
   "I look even better out of a tux," I joked.
   Jenny laughed.  "From what I see, you do.  But I'm too busy at the 
moment to get a closer look.  But give me a minute and we'll see, she's 
just about ready to fall asleep again."
   Leaning over, I kissed her forehead, "No rush, it's nice just laying 
here with you two."  We cuddled together quietly for a few moments, just 
watching Skyla nurse.
   "You think they've got back pain yet, sleeping on those lumpy couches?" 
Jenny asked idly, running a fingertip over Skyla's cheek.
   "Mmm." I said noncommittally, "I don't know, you've never made me sleep 
on it yet, so I can't say."
   Jenny smiled, sitting up slightly, moving over and laying Skyla in her 
crib, fast asleep.    "Well, you've never given me reason to, have you?"
   "Not really." I agreed, taking her back in my arms and giving her a soft 
kiss.
   "Well, I definitely don't want you sleeping on the couch right now," she 
murmured, giving me a deeper kiss.  Our hands wandered, enjoying ourselves. 
 We forgot all about our house guests in the process, unfortunately.
   We were in a particularly awkward position when Amanda knocked and 
walked in without waiting for an answer.
   "Time to wake up..." she stopped in mid-sentence, her eyes bulging from 
her head at a sight which few girls her age have ever seen.
   "S-s-sorry." she stuttered, backing slowly out of the bedroom.  She 
turned and
ran, the door clicking shut behind her.
   "We have to get a lock for that door." Jenny said.  
   I stifled a laugh, then we both cracked up, trying to keep out laughter 
low enough that the other two in the living room couldn't hear it.
   A few minutes later, when we were sure no one else was going to walk in 
on us, we slid back into what we were doing before the rude interruption.  
At one point I caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye, 
and for a moment I could have sworn I saw the door open a crack.  I ignored 
it in the rush of what Jenny and I were doing.
   A few minutes later left Jenny and I curled up together, catching our 
breaths.  I stroked her back as she cuddled up against my side, laying her 
head on my chest.  She lay there listening to my heart pound, while I was 
listening for the sound of the door clicking closed again.  I wasn't 
disappointed, it clicked closed almost silently a moment later.
   "Jenny, I think Kallie and Amanda just got an eyeful." I chuckled a few 
minutes later.
   "What?" Jenny said in shock, looking up at me from where her head rested 
on my chest.
   "I saw the door open a little a little while ago.  About two minutes ago 
it clicked shut again."
   "Why, those two peeping toms!  I'll... I'll..." she paused, thinking.  
"I don't know what I'll do to them, but they won't like it."
   I grinned at her.  "Just follow my lead."  I got up and pulled on my 
robe, walking to the door and waited while Jenny pulled hers on hurriedly.  
"So what do you have planned?" she asked with a grin.
   "You'll see." I grinned back.  Opening the door, I walked into the 
living room.  Kallie and Amanda were sitting on the couch whispering.  When 
they heard the door open they turned and looked at us guiltily.
   "Good morning." I said jovially.  "Get a good look, you two?"  Jenny 
just leaned against the wall and smirked at them.
   "You saw us?" Amanda gasped.
   "Jenny didn't, but I saw you both."
   Kallie and Amanda both blushed and looked at the floor.  It was the 
first time I'd ever seen Kallie blush.
   "We don't really care if you two peek."  I held a finger up to silence 
Jenny before she could say anything.  "But I think turnabout is fair play.  
Now, if we catch you watching us again, we consider that an agreement to 
some new house rules."
   "What rules?" Kallie asked suspiciously.
   "They're simple.  Actually, there's only one.  If you watch us, we get 
to watch you two... how shall I say it?  'Get it on'?"  I watched in 
amusement as shock spread over the faces of all three girls.  The looks on 
Kallie and Amanda's faces confirmed what I had already suspected. "Yes, 
I've guessed that you two are 'involved', so to speak.  So, think about it. 
 Jenny and I are going to go take a shower."  With that, I turned and 
walked toward the bathroom.  Jenny followed me, obviously deep in thought.
   As soon as the bathroom door closed, the flood of questions came from 
Jenny.
   "How did you know?" she asked.
   "I didn't.  I just guessed by the way they acted around each other.  
Plus I thought I heard noises coming from behind the door while they were 
peeping.  Just logic."
   "Logic, huh?  Male logic, I think."
   "Maybe I'm just naturally suspicious."  I gave her a kiss.  "So you 
ready for our shower?  If they peek in on us while we're in here, they've 
accepted the rule.  If not, we'll be left alone."
   "If they accept it, what will we do?" Jenny said worriedly.
   "I don't think they will."
   "More male logic?"
   "No, just knowledge of how shy Amanda is."
   We climbed into the shower and took our time.  The door never opened, 
and we were left alone for the rest of Amanda and Kallie's visit.  Well, at 
least as far as we could tell.
   That night we thought we heard "interesting" noises coming from the 
living room.  We did our best to ignore them, though Jenny couldn't help 
but shake her head and mutter about her little sister growing up almost as 
fast as she had.  

                                *****

   Our wedding was a small affair.  No more than fifteen people came, 
including the justice of the peace and his wife.  The cake was small and 
simple, one of Jenny's friends had made it for us.  It had two tiers at 
least, with a bridge and groom on top, but it was plain as far as wedding 
cakes went.  Neither of us minded, it was the symbolism that counted.
   Jenny nor I were religious, though we were still in the process of 
making plans for where to hold the ceremony when Mrs. Sampson had insisted 
we hold it in the church that they attended.  She was so insistent that we 
finally agreed, figuring it was more for tradition than anything.  We also 
owed so much to the Sampsons, and it could hardly hurt to follow their 
wishes as far as this issue went.
   I stood at the end of the isle, waiting for Jenny to appear down the 
isle.  I was nervous, at least as much as any bridegroom on his wedding 
day.  I didn't have cold feet, I had a solid feeling that "this is the 
woman I'm going to marry".  Really, I hadn't had a doubt since the first 
two weeks we had been together, much less after the two years since then.  
Still, I was worried about goofing up the ceremony.  Weddings don't mean as 
much to men as they do to women usually, and I knew this was a huge deal 
for Jenny.  It was huge for me, but I'd never had dreams as a little boy of 
the perfect wedding like many little girls likely do.
    Jenny had gone out with Kallie and Amanda the day before to buy a 
dress.  They made me sit out in the car for over an hour before they came 
out, and then refused to let me see it, saying it was 'bad luck'.  I wrote 
it off to 'typically odd female behavior', as my few male friends and I 
called it.
   Still, I have to admit that Jenny in her wedding dress when she finally 
walked down that isle had an effect on me that I doubt it would have had if 
I had seen it beforehand.
   She looked more beautiful than I had ever seen her, the long white dress 
flowing around her ankles as she was lead down the isle by Dr. Sampson.  He 
looked as proud as if she had been his own daughter.  The dress fit her 
perfectly, emphasizing her slim waist, dark hair cascading down in loose 
curls over her shoulders and the low cut back of the dress, contrasting to 
the brilliant white of the material.   She looked every bit the bride, and 
I felt more than a little underdressed as she stepped up next to me, 
smiling brightly.  I couldn't take my eyes off her.
   Finally the justice of the peace decided I was too mesmerized to move, 
and began the service.  Somehow I managed to pull my eyes away from Jenny, 
but still watched her out of the corner of my eye as he went through the 
service.  Finally we reached the key points, the place where mothers and 
grandmothers hold their breaths or dab back tears.
   "Do you, Alex Braxton, take Jenny Baker to be your lawfully wedded wife, 
till death do you part?"
   I turned to Jenny.  "I do."
   "And do you, Jenny Baker, take this man to be your lawfully wedded 
husband?"
   "I do." Jenny whispered, looking up at me, eyes shining.
   "Well then, I pronounce you man, and wife.  You may kiss the bride."
   I bent over, and kissed Jenny tenderly.  When we finally parted, we 
continued to hold hands, not wanting to let go of the moment.  Then people 
surrounded us, giving us their congratulations, the men of the group 
slapping me on the back and shaking my hand, the women crowding around 
Jenny and talking a mile a minute.  In the mass of people Jenny and I were 
separated.  We didn't see each other again except for longing glances 
across the room until everyone piled into the cars for the trip back to our 
apartment for the reception.  I met her at the door, and we walked slowly 
out to the car, Jenny leaning against me, looking more happy than I had 
ever seen her.  Kallie, who had been holding Skyla, had handed her over to 
Jenny sometime during the flurry of activity.
   "You look incredible." I said, wrapping an arm around her waist and 
hugging her against my side.
   "Thanks.  Now you know the secret purpose of the wedding dress."
   "What's that?" I asked.
   "To stun the groom into going along with the ceremony, no matter what." 
she grinned.
   "Really?  I would have gone though with it if you had been wearing a 
pair of cutoffs and a torn T-shirt."
   "I know.  But some girls aren't as lucky as I am." She stood on her toes 
and kissed me once more before we got into the car.
   "Remember that when I forget our first anniversary." I joked, opening 
the passenger side door for her.
   "I don't think you'll forget.  I'll give you plenty of hints before 
hand." she giggled as she got in.  I closed the door and climbed into the 
driver side, after I put Skyla in the child's seat.  She was sleeping, as 
she had thankfully done during the entire ceremony.
   "What if I become one of those dense husbands that you always see on 
sitcoms?"
   "I don't think you will." she said, looking back to check on Skyla.  
When she was satisfied that her car seat was properly fastened, she turned 
back around and leaned against my shoulder as I started the car.
   As I pulled out of the parking lot of the church, I noticed a clinking, 
clanging sound of cans on string hitting pavement coming from the back of 
the car.
   "Sounds like Kallie and Amanda's handiwork to me." I chuckled, realizing 
what it was.  I kept driving, hoping some obnoxious cop didn't pull us over 
before we got home.

   Jenny and I had decided to stay home for our honeymoon.  We couldn't 
think of anyplace we wanted to go, and we had to take care of Skyla anyway. 
 Neither of us wanted to leave her with anyone.  She was barely a month 
old, and we felt that we shouldn't leave her, however much we trusted the 
person we left her with.  We both agreed that a honeymoon is a honeymoon, 
anywhere it might be, as long as we were together.
   When we got home our apartment was packed with people, all talking, 
joking and laughing.  Everyone had brought something for everyone else to 
eat.  There was roast beef, chicken, and casseroles of every type 
imaginable.
   We were greeted with cheers and clapping, causing us to both blush.  
Jenny broke away to put Skyla in her crib, so we wouldn't have to worry 
about where she was.  By now she was wide awake, looking around crankily, 
probably wondering what everyone was yelling about.
   Jenny came back a few minutes later, shutting the bedroom door until 
just a crack remained so that we could hear if she started crying.  After 
that the party picked up.  Someone had brought champagne, so we poured it 
in the odd assortment of glasses we dug out of the cabinets in the kitchen. 
 Kallie pushed through the crowd, her loud voice topping everyone by a few 
decibels.
   "I want to toast this young couple." Everyone faded to silence, looking 
at Kallie.  "I've known Jenny since we were in kindergarten together.  I 
can tell you I've never seen her happier than she is with Alex and their 
baby daughter, Skyla.  I've only known Alex for less than two years, but I 
know he's a good man.  Jenny's lucky to have him, and he's lucky to have 
someone as sweet as Jenny.  So, I toast them, to a long and happy 
marriage."  With that, everyone clinked glasses and took a sip of their 
champagne.
   After that, someone turned on the stereo.  Everyone danced, trading off 
after every song.  Jenny and I danced as best we could, but we had found 
out early on we were both mediocre at best when it came to dancing.
   Jenny disappeared into the bedroom once to check on and feed Skyla.  I 
couldn't get away, and a few minutes later I saw her come back into the 
living room, only to be asked to dance by one of my friends before I could 
get to her.
   Every guy in the place seemed to want to dance with Jenny, and I really 
couldn't blame them; she was radiant and it rubbed off on everyone she was 
around.  I danced once with Amanda, and then with Kallie, who surprisingly 
wasn't half bad at it.   
   Soon it was getting late, and we began the last dance of the night.  I 
hunted around and found Jenny, pulling her into the circle that had been 
cleared of furniture for dancing.  A slow song was put in the stereo, and 
we began to dance slowly, holding each other close, Jenny's head against my 
chest.  Other couples joined in soon after, everyone watching us as we 
closed our eyes and ignored everything but the music and our gentle swaying.
   There were no fancy dance steps, no flashing lights, no grand live 
music.  Just the somewhat tinny sound of our rather cheap stereo set, 
Jenny, and I, surrounded by our friends and loved ones; those people who 
cared for us and wanted us to be happy above all else.  Although we were 
relatively poor in money and belongings, we were rich in the priceless 
things that are most important in life.  Without saying a word Jenny and I 
realized this, cherishing the moment for what it was worth.
   Sadly, the song soon ended.  We parted slowly with a kiss, and people 
began to
leave, each one leaving with a handshake to me and a hug to Jenny.  Kallie 
and Amanda had gone home with one of our friends they'd gotten to know, 
saying they wanted to leave us alone on our wedding night.  When everyone 
had left we found the couch pushed off in a corner and sat down, cuddling 
in the afterglow of a day neither of us would ever forget.
   "So how does it feel to be Mrs. Alex Braxton?" I asked her, giving her 
ear an affectionate nuzzle.
   "Different, but good.  I've waited a long time for today," she said, 
obviously exhausted but happy.
   "So have I.  I never imagined that I'd be married this early.  I always 
expected to be a bachelor until at least my thirties, if I ever got 
married.  Of course that all changed when you entered my life.  It changed 
for the better, I can tell you that." I said with a chuckle.
   "I certainly never imagined I'd be married at fifteen.  But I'm glad I 
am."  She moved up for a kiss, and I obliged her.
   "Want to go to bed?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows at her. 
   "Yes.  I've wanted to all day." she said with a sparkle in her eyes.
   I kissed her forehead and stood up, pulling her with me.  Leading her 
into the
bedroom, I kicked the door closed with my heel. 

   An hour later, she was limp in my arms, her eyes closed, her head laying 
against my chest, listening to my heartbeat.  It seemed that I was the one 
who needed the most
recovery time, as I fell asleep, exhausted from the day's activities.
   I woke up some time later to the feeling of a warm mouth pressing 
against mine.  I kissed the warm mouth back, and slowly let my eyes open.  
Jenny stopped when she saw that I was awake.
   "Well, you're finally awake.  I said I needed a rest.  I didn't mean 
that you could join me!"
   I chuckled and pulled her up onto me, then kissed her again.  "That make 
up
for it?" I asked.
   "I suppose.  As long as you keep doing it regularly," she teased.
   I chuckled and kissed her again, "I promise to continue to kiss your 
regularly, sweetheart." I looked over at the crib, where Skyla was sleeping 
peacefully.  "I'm surprised Skyla isn't awake now, considering the way you 
screeched earlier."
   "Screech?  I did not screech!" She pouted a little, then added, 
"Besides, she did
wake up.  You've been asleep for over an hour."
   "An hour?  Where does the time go?" I sighed.
   "I don't know.  You were snoring so loudly that the bed was shaking."
   "I don't..."
   "I know.  You don't snore.  You don't do it very often, but when you do, 
it sounds like a plane is about to crash into the apartment building.  You 
talk in your sleep, too.  But I don't mind that.  You say many interesting 
things in your sleep.  You never told me you'd like to go to bed with my 
little sister."
   "Go to bed with..." I sputtered indignantly, "I never said any such 
thing, even in my sleep!"
   "Well, you did last night.  I was feeding Skyla, and you distinctly 
yelled 'Amanda, oh yes! Yes!' very passionately in your sleep!"
   "I didn't say anything of the sort!  She might be developing very 
nicely, but I didn't say anything like that!"
   "Ah ha!  Gotcha!  So you admit it, you're attracted to my little 
sister!" she rolled off me laughing.
   "I am... wait a minute.  I didn't say that at all, did I?  You tricked 
me!  Is this what I have to look forward to in the next few years of 
marriage?  Trickery and deceit?" I said in mock anger.  But I couldn't help 
but grin after I said it.
   "Trick you, yes.  But I got you to admit that you think my little sister 
is sexy!"
   "I did not say she was sexy.  I said she was developing nicely."
   "In male talk, that means sexy.  Or should I say 'hot'?" she laughed 
again and rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in a pillow to muffle 
her laughs so Skyla wouldn't wake.
   I leaned over her and kissed the nape of her neck, nibbling lightly at 
the sensitive skin.
   "And what if..." I paused to kiss her between the shoulder blades --"I 
said that I was attracted, just a little bit, to your sister?"
   Jenny was sighing softly as I kissed my way slowly further down her 
back, teasing the knobs of her vertebrae with my tongue.  "I'd say that 
that was fine.  She's turning into an attractive young woman.  But I don't 
think I have to worry to much about her stealing you away from me."
   "Really?  And why is that?"
   "Because I know you love me and Skyla, and would never leave us.  Even 
if it was to my pretty little sister.  Besides, I'm not exactly ugly 
myself." she said, wriggling a little as I kissed up and down her back.
   "I'd say you know me pretty well.  And yes, you are very attractive.  
Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing this, would I?"
   "Probably not," she admitted.
   She rolled over slowly, and suddenly we weren't so exhausted anymore.

   Another uncounted span of time later, Jenny and I were coming back down 
to earth slowly, relishing the afterglow.  She kissed my chest, too tired 
to move enough to kiss me on the lips.
   "It's better when you're married." she murmured contentedly.
   "It sure seems like it.  Should have done it sooner." I chuckled.
   "Mmmmhmmm." she mumbled, her breath evening out quickly into sleep.  I 
glanced over to make sure Skyla was still asleep.  'Good thing she's a 
sound sleeper.' I thought to myself, and let myself fall off into sleep, 
the light of early morning streaming through the curtains on the bedroom 
window.

End Chapter Eighteen


Chapter Nineteen
----------------

   The next day we saw Kallie and Amanda off at the bus stop.  The three of 
them all hugged and cried, as women always seem to do on occasions where 
someone is leaving for a long time.  Finally they broke it up, and Amanda 
walked up to me shyly.  She gave me a hug with a quick kiss on the cheek.
   "See you, Sis." I joked.
   "You can call me that, now that you and Jenny are married." she 
conceded, smiling.  Then of course Kallie had to have her turn.
   "You take good care of her, you lousy bum." Kallie said, a few tears 
leaking from the corners of her eyes as she hugged me.
   "I always have, and always will.  Don't worry, we'll do great.  Just 
keep calling every once and a while to keep up with us, eh?"
   "You bet.  I'll keep annoying you if it's the last thing I do." she 
winked at me.
   "That's good to know." I said dryly.
   "You're always so serious." she laughed, sniffing and wiping her eyes.  
"Smile once and a while."
   "But that might crack my face." I said, fighting to keep my face 
straight.
   Kallie just laughed and waved as she and Amanda climbed aboard the bus 
for the long trip back to Oregon.  Jenny and I watched the bus pull out, 
Jenny leaning heavily on my arm, still wiping tears out of her eyes.  I put 
my arm around her shoulder and waved as the bus pulled out of the station, 
my other arm occupied with Skyla, who was once again asleep.
   "Are you okay?" I asked as Jenny and I walked back to the car.
   "Yeah, I'm fine.  I'm just going to miss them both.  At least I get to 
talk to Kallie, but I never get anything but letters from Amanda.  You've 
seen how much she's changed in the last year.  What's going to happen in 
the next couple of years?"
   "Well, get her to send pictures.  I'm sure Kallie can get Amanda over to 
talk on the phone once and a while.  It won't be the same as seeing both of 
them in person, but it will help."
   "Yes, but what if my parents find out about what's going on between 
Kallie and Amanda?"
   "Well, then we'll just have to get a bigger apartment." I grinned.
   Jenny laughed and kissed my cheek.  "Well, that would solve a few 
problems.  But we'll have to do that in a year or so anyway.  Skyla can't 
sleep in our room until she's eighteen."
   "Yeah, but I'm pretty happy the way it is now."
   "So am I.  But she's not going to be a baby forever, Alex."
   "Maybe not.  But she'll always be a baby in the back of my head, even
when I'm eighty and she's sixty one."
   Jenny just rolled her eyes and gave me her "what am I going to do with 
you?" look, taking Skyla from me and buckling her into her car seat.

                                   *****

   The rest of our honeymoon was almost pure relaxation.  I hadn't really 
had a vacation since Jenny had moved in as I had been too busy working to 
support us while we both went to school.  We enjoyed the time that we had 
and were disappointed when I had to continue with school and work a few 
days later.  But we still saw as much of each other as before; it was just 
that for eight hours a day I was busy working on the computer.  I couldn't 
really stop for fear of falling behind, in either work or school.

   Skyla grew rapidly over the next few months.  It seemed like no time 
before she was sitting up, then she was crawling.  Jenny and I quickly 
learned to keep the few valuables we had higher up, as she was a very 
curious baby, always touching whatever was in reach.  Of course she had the 
natural baby tendency to put everything and anything into her mouth.  She 
loved to be carried around to anyplace new; she got bored easily sitting in 
the same room and would make it widely known she was bored by wailing 
loudly until she was moved someplace less 'dull'.   Fortunately (or 
unfortunately, depending on your point of view) she had inherited my crazy 
imagination, and almost always managed to get at what she wanted to see, 
wherever we put it.  
   Skyla was a happy baby as well, a ready smile for anyone she met, those 
big blue eyes grabbing immediate attention from anyone who looked at her.  
Jenny and I had no TV set to sit her in front of, so we actually had to pay 
attention to her instead of just sitting her in front of the TV and letting 
the Teletubbies raise her.
   Jenny's time was spent keeping Skyla busy and otherwise out of things 
she wasn't supposed to be in.  Despite her attempts, it seemed that more 
often than not she was over by my chair.  She learned early on that a tug 
on my pant leg would get her my attention.  I learned to type around her 
while she sat on my lap, watching everything I was doing with baby-like 
interest.  It became much more common to see her perched on my lap when 
Jenny went back to school in January.  I didn't mind, she usually feel 
asleep after a bit, bored with the symbols flashing across the computer 
screen.  If we weren't in front of the computer screen, we were cuddled up 
on the couch, where I'd read aloud to her whatever book I was reading.  I 
don't know if at that early of an age if she understood any of it, but I 
hoped it would at least help her learn the language easier.

   Jenny was reluctant to go back to school and leave Skyla, but I 
convinced her that it was best.  I didn't think she wanted to spend her 
life as a housewife, as much as she loved Skyla, and Jenny agreed.  So, as 
soon as school let out she would come home as quickly as possible every day 
to see her and to let me get ready to leave for school.  Skyla, once she 
started crawling, soon learned that her mother would show up around the 
same time every day, and would wait for her by the door when she knew it 
was time for her mother to come home.
   It appeared that my tutoring had helped Jenny more than we had thought.  
When she took placement tests to see how far she was behind, we found out 
that Jenny was actually ahead of schedule, as much as a full year in 
English.  She was ahead a full semester for everything else but math.  This 
resulted in her managing to almost skip more than a semester entirely, but 
gym and math classes held her back.  She was still happy despite this since 
she'd at least be able to graduate that much sooner.
        
                                    *****

   It was a shock to me when one day Skyla crawled over to me, pulled 
herself to her feet on my chair as she had been doing for several weeks, 
and very plainly said "Up."  I just stared down at her, my mouth gaping 
open.  It was a slurred "Up", but definitely a word, not baby talk babbling.
   "Up!" she said more insistently, holding up her arms.  So I picked her 
up, still stunned.  She hugged me the best she could with her short arms.  
"Daddy." she gurgled happily.  I hugged her back.  After a few seconds I 
recovered slightly.  It's not every day that your daughter, at ten months, 
says her first word before she even starts walking.
   "So, you can talk now, eh?  Bet you think you're pretty smart, huh?" I 
said, looking down to where she sat happily playing with the buttons on my 
shirt.  She just smiled up at me, that angelic baby smile that could melt 
the most cantankerous old man's scowl into a smile.  "Well guess what, you 
are smart."  I kissed her forehead and smoothed her hair, feeling the fine 
dark hairs, so similar to her mothers, run through my fingers.

   After some thought, I let Jenny find out for herself that Skyla was 
talking.  I wish there had been a camera around when she came home after 
school that day.  The look on her face when Skyla crawled up to her and 
said "Mommy!" would have thrown Kallie and Amanda into convulsions of 
laughter.  As it was, I could barely control myself.
   Jenny picked Skyla up and received her welcome home hug.  I just stood a 
few feet away from her, grinning.
   "She talked!" Jenny said in amazement.
   "Sure did.  She said "up" this morning, and then "Daddy" when I picked 
her up.  That's her third word, and I think she has more in store for us, 
too."
   "This is great!  I have to call Kallie!" she said, rushing to the phone.
   I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise, since Skyla had heard Kallie, 
Jenny and I talking over the speakerphone quite a few times over the last 
few months.  But it shocked Kallie even more than us when we put her on 
speaker phone without saying a word when Kallie picked up.  Apparently 
Skyla recognized the voice, or possibly even thought that the phone was 
Kallie; but when Kallie's voice came from the phone, she shouted "Kallie!" 
into the phone.
   "Who's this?" Kallie said, confused.
   "It's Jenny, Kallie." Jenny said, grinning as widely as I was, trying 
not to snicker.
   "Hi, Jenny!  Who's there with you?  I didn't recognize that voice."
   "It's just me, Jenny and Skyla." I said, winking at Jenny.
   "Then who said... wait, that couldn't have been Skyla!  Are you two 
trying to pull another prank on me?"
   "Nope.  She just started talking today.  Jenny just found out.  So far 
she's said 'up', 'Daddy', 'Mommy' and now your name." I said proudly.
   "But she's only ten months old!  Babies don't usually start talking at 
ten months, much less three or four words in one day!"
   "Apparently Skyla didn't hear about that rule." Jenny said.
   "I guess not.  But I don't think I'll quite believe you until I see it 
myself."
   "What, you want us to rent a video camera and send a tape to you?" I 
asked.
   "Well, I wasn't thinking about that, but that would be great.  I haven't 
seen her except in pictures in ten months.  Maybe put Jenny in it, too.  
Alex, you hold the camera.  I don't want to see your ugly mug on my TV." 
Kallie teased.
   "I love you too, Kallie." I snickered.
   "Humph.  Well, next thing you know she'll be doing quadratic equations 
on the kitchen floor in crayon."
   "I doubt it.  Alex isn't very good at math, and I'm not much better." 
Jenny said with a laugh.
   We spoke to Doctor Sampson the next day, since we were a bit curious as 
to why Skyla had started speaking so soon, much less with the range of 
vocabulary she seemed to have.  He told us it wasn't unheard of to have a 
baby say their first word as young as ten months, but the only really odd 
thing was again, the number of words she seemed to be able to use already.
   My personal opinion was that since she had me reading to her every day, 
and had spent her entire life around adults who talked to her like she was 
a real human being instead of a creature called an "infant", she had picked 
up the words more quickly than usual.  
   Dr. Sampson said perhaps it had contributed to it, but more likely it 
was just that Skyla was a bit more advanced in general compared to other 
babies her age in the area of language.

   Skyla picked up new words quickly, and was talking with reasonable 
clarity with a number of words in the form of monosyllables two months 
later when she began taking her first unsteady steps.  Our friends teased 
us that she learned to walk later than she learned to speak because we 
carried her more often than not.
   It was very difficult to keep her out of things now that she was 
walking.  She could get across the apartment many times faster than she had 
when she was crawling, and once she began running it was hard to keep up 
with her.  While Jenny was at school I did my programming on the fly, 
getting a few lines in between chasing her around the apartment.
I "kissed better" quite a few minor injuries the first few days after she 
began running.  She had figured out how to get going fast, but hadn't quite 
mastered stopping and avoiding objects in her path.  I'd be typing away, 
and all of a sudden I'd hear a thump, and then her crying.
   Finally I just cleared a path for her, told her to run at me as fast as 
she could, then try to stop before she hit me.  She would manage one time 
out of five.  The other four times she would hit me full speed. I'd wrap my 
arms around her and let myself fall backwards, absorbing the extra motion, 
bringing her to a stop without hurting either of us.  Each
time she hit me she would squeal as we fell over backwards, giggle, and go 
for another run.  By the time both her and I were exhausted she had 
improved her stopping ability to being able to stop one time in three.  
After a few lessons like this, we soon had her able to stop almost every 
time she ran.  Which meant we went through a lot fewer Band-Aids, 
thankfully.
   She would dance to anything I put on the stereo, from Bach to rock.  Her 
favorite was Handel's Allegro Moderato.  She would twirl around the floor 
like she was in a ballet while it was on the stereo, her eyes closed as she 
moved to the music.  For a long time she wouldn't fall asleep at night 
unless she heard it first.
   Skyla was an affectionate child, always giving hugs to everyone she met, 
which was a little embarrassing when we went shopping.  Once she began 
talking, she was unstoppable, always asking questions about this or that, 
so many questions that there were many I didn't know the answers to.  As a 
result we both learned something when I looked it up in an encyclopedia or 
online.
   With all these questions, we figured it was a good idea to move her crib 
out into the living room for the time being, until we could find a two 
bedroom apartment.  Skyla didn't like this at first, and more often than 
not she ended up in bed with us anyway, not used to sleeping in a room 
without her parents nearby.
   Luckily for us one opened up in the same building we were in, so moving 
was as simple as making a few hundred trips up and down the stairs since 
the new apartment was a level above our current one.  Probably the biggest 
difficulty was convincing Skyla everything was all right during the moving 
process.  She spent most of the time we moved things sitting in the middle 
of the living room, eyes wide as saucers as she watched us carry our 
belongings out the door.
   It was no surprise that both Jenny and I were exhausted at the end of 
the day.  Lucky for us, Skyla's energy seemed to peter out around eight.  
It became routine for Jenny and I to read or tell Skyla a story every 
night.  Jenny and I would take turns reading, each of us making the voices 
to match the characters in the book.  Skyla insisted that we do this, she 
said it made the story better.  Personally I think it was only so she could 
laugh when her father tried to mimic how Mama Bear in the 'Three Bears' 
would sound.
   As I've said before, Skyla's smile would light up a room the size of a 
small football stadium, and her laugh could make even the most cranky of 
people smile when they heard it.  She had me wrapped around her little 
finger, and she knew it.  All she had to do was look up at me with those 
big blue eyes and say "Please Daddy?" in a pleading voice she had been 
working on perfecting since she had begun talking.  She would put out her 
lower lip in a pout if she needed extra firepower, and I would melt.  Jenny 
quickly learned to take Skyla out to the car while I went through the 
checkout stand at stores for that very reason.  I could shoot the person 
who came up with the idea of putting candy on shelves, just the right 
height for little kids to get at, right where they would be standing to 
wait in line, bored.
   Of course, I loved playing with her.  It may sound odd for a man, now in 
his twenties, to want to play games with his year and a half old daughter 
more than most anything else he could think of.  But she and I would spend 
hours (usually when I was supposed to be working) playing games of some 
sort, whether it was a game on the computer, or just something Skyla had 
dreamed up on the spur of the moment.  These spur of the moment games were 
usually the most fun.  More than once I found myself trying to make the 
scariest face, or having her riding on my shoulders around the apartment, 
singing the theme song of 'The Lone Ranger' while Skyla laughed and urged 
me to go faster.
   By nap time after lunch, we were both exhausted.  I'd try to drag myself 
to the computer to get some work done, but more often than not we both 
collapsed for an hour on the couch.  Jenny would come home from school and 
find Skyla cuddled up next to me, both of us fast asleep.  Happily, more 
often than not she would join us.  There's nothing quite like waking up 
sandwiched between the two people you love more than anything in the world. 
 I'd recommend it to anyone.

End Chapter Nineteen


Chapter Twenty
--------------

   One day someone totally unexpected showed up at our door.  I was in the 
bedroom working on debugging a program that was giving me fits.  Jenny was 
in the kitchen fixing us lunch while Skyla played in the living room; I 
could hear her happily humming and coloring with her box of crayons when 
someone rang the bell.
   "I'll get it!" Skyla yelled, and ran for the door.
   "Skyla, what did I tell you..." Jenny called.  To late.  The door 
creaked open.
   "Hello." came Skyla's voice.
   "Hello, little girl.  I'm sorry, think I have the wrong apartment," the 
person at the door said.  Jenny ran out of the kitchen, ready to scold 
Skyla for opening the door when someone rang the bell without one of us 
being there with her, something we had told her not to do a hundred times.
   "Skyla..." her voice trailed off as she recognized who was at the door.
   "Jenny?" the voice said incredulously.  A voice from more than three 
years in our past.
   "Alex, I think you should get out here." Jenny called weakly.
   I got up and walked out the bedroom door, rubbing my eyes as I recovered 
from staring at the computer screen for the last three hours.
   I stopped in my tracks as I realized that the man who was standing at 
the door was my father; looking a bit older and a bit more bald than I 
remembered him, but definitely my father.
   "Son?" my Dad said, a look of shock still registering on his face.
   "Hi Dad." I said, not able to think of anything else to say.  I walked 
forward and scooped up Skyla.  She wrapped her arms around my neck, 
steadying herself, still looking at the 'stranger' at the door.
   "Who's that, Daddy?" she asked, looking at her grandfather.
   "Daddy?" my father gaped at us, his jaw hanging open slightly.
   "I think this will take a little explanation." I said nervously. "Come 
in and sit down.  Jen, could you grab something to drink?"
   Jenny nodded, and hurried back to the kitchen, looking a bit relieved to 
have a chance to recover from her shock, especially considering her last 
and only experience with my father.
   My Dad finally nodded a bit numbly after a few seconds and stepped 
inside the door.  I shut it behind him and moved to the couch and sat down 
with Skyla on my lap.  My father sat down in a recliner across from us.  
   Skyla continued to look at him curiously, knowing that I would 
eventually get around to answering her question, as I most always did.  A 
few seconds later Jenny emerged form the kitchen, holding cans of cola for 
the three of us and a glass of milk in a special mug for Skyla.  She sat 
down next to Skyla and I, setting the drinks on the coffee table.  My 
father took one and opened it, drinking deeply.  Thankfully his color 
improved slightly; I had been beginning to worry about him having a heart 
attack in the middle of the apartment.  I took a deep breath.
   "I guess I need to explain what's happened over the last few years.  
Jenny and I have been living together for nearly three years.  She came to 
me one night, having traveled by bus for three days to get here.  She had 
escaped from her parents, who had abused her in rather extreme ways that I 
won't get into.  I of course took her in.  We lived together for a year, 
and then she got pregnant with Skyla."  He lost his color again at the word 
 'pregnant', but I continued anyway.  "Yes, Dad, you're a grandfather."
   My Dad shook his head, obviously trying to take it all in.
   "He's my Grandpa?" Skyla said questioningly, figuring out at least in 
part what was going on.
   "Yes honey." I said.  Before I could stop her she wriggled out of my lap 
in an eel-like movement toddlers perfect early on.  She stepped over to my 
father, climbing up onto his lap with the skill formed from long practice.  
He was too surprised to do much more than just stare down at her.
   "Now I have two grandpas!" she said, giving him a big kiss and hugging 
him tightly around the neck.  To Jenny and my surprise, he hugged her back. 
 Skyla settled down into his lap and began to play with his tie, liking the 
way the silk slid between her fingers.  My father took it pretty well, 
considering.
   "Two grandpas?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow.
   "Our doctor, Dr. Sampson, is sort of a godfather to her." Jenny 
explained.
   "Ah.  So you two are still living together, even after three years?  I 
didn't think it would last a month."
   "It's a bit more than that, Dad.  Let me continue with the story."
   "Well, then, get on with it.  So far it's been quite... informative."
   Nodding, I continued.  "We decided to keep the baby, which is obvious.  
We're glad we did."  I wrapped my arm around Jenny.  "I proposed to her a 
couple of weeks after Skyla was born.  We were married a month later.  So, 
you not only have a granddaughter that you didn't know you had, but you 
also have a daughter-in-law."
   "Married?  But she's so young... you're both so young!" he exclaimed.
   "I'm almost twenty one, Dad.  Jenny will be eighteen on our next 
anniversary in September."
   "When did I get so old?" he sighed, looking down at his granddaughter, 
who looked back up at him and gave her one of his famous smiles.  Of course 
he smiled back; I still had yet to meet someone who could resist Skyla's 
smile.
   "You're not old, Mr. Braxton." Jenny said softly.  "It's just that a lot 
can happen in three years."
   "Call me Dad, Jenny.  You may as well, you're my daughter-in-law, and I 
won't have family calling me 'Mr. Braxton'.  And why didn't you two invite 
me to the wedding?  Or even tell me about any of this?  I'm difficult to 
get a hold of, but it's not impossible."
   "We didn't think you cared.  You haven't exactly contacted us a lot over 
the last few years either, Dad," I pointed out.
   "Well, it looks like both of us are to blame.  Sheesh, I come down here 
to see the son I haven't seen in three years.  First it seems like he's 
moved without telling me.  Then I find out he's moved into a different 
apartment in the same building for some reason.  Then I knock on your door 
only to find out I've got a lot more family in New Mexico than I thought I 
had."
   "You're taking it very well." Jenny smiled.
   "It seems that I'm going to have to stop by more often.  Get to know my 
Granddaughter.  And my daughter in law." he said, looking at Jenny.  "If he 
sees enough in you to stay married to you for two years, I think I can find 
something."  He stood up, taking Skyla into his arms as he did so.  "I 
don't know about you two, but I'm starving.  How about lunch?  I'll buy."
   "Well, we were going to eat here, but I guess we could go out for once.  
If that's all right with you, Jenny." I said, looking to my wife.
   "That's fine with me." Jenny confirmed.
   "So where should we eat?" my Dad asked.
   "Well, there's only one restaurant you can really go to when you have a 
toddler with you."
   "Where's that?" my father asked.
   "McDonalds." Jenny said.  "The finest food in the general area of their 
parking lot."
   My father shrugged.  "McDonalds it is, then."

                                                *****

   McDonalds was busy as it usually was around lunch time.  We ordered and 
then found a booth near the back.
   "So how's school going?" my father asked me.
   "Pretty well.  I've gotten a better job that lets me stay home and watch 
Skyla while Jenny goes to school.  Another year and a half of night school 
and I should be finished."
   "Good, good." my father said lamely.  The conversation puttered along, 
at least for a few minutes, one of us asking one question or another.  Then 
Skyla finished her 'happymeal' and begged us to take her out to the 
playground.  My grandfather caved and said he'd take her.  Skyla cheered 
and ran for the door, my father in tow.
   "Do you trust him with her?" Jenny asked quietly.
   "If I didn't, I wouldn't have let them go.  I don't think he'd dream of 
hurting her.  In fact, I think he's still in shock.  Somehow I don't think 
he expected what he got when he came to visit."
   "I didn't get what I expected either." Jenny giggled.
   "No, but I think it turned out for the best." I said, hugging her 
against me and watching Skyla and her "new" grandfather play through the 
plate glass separating the play area from the rest of the building.  Skyla 
was climbing up onto the slide, and my father was catching her when she hit 
the bottom.  "I think he'll make a good grandfather.  Grandparents are good 
at stopping by once or twice every few months."
   "Maybe.  Just as long as my parents don't decide to come for a visit." 
Jenny said with a  shudder.
   "I somewhat doubt that.  If they did, I'd just slam the door in their 
faces.  I still remember what happened last time I let them in the door, 
and I really don't want that to happen again."
   "They couldn't convince me to, either.  I'm perfectly happy where I am.  
Very happy, in fact." she said, snuggling up to me as well as she could in 
the hard plastic seat of the booth.
   "That's good to hear.  I haven't seen you as much as I would have liked 
to over the last few months.  School is time consuming.  I would hate to 
end up like those couples with workaholic fathers who neglect their wives 
and children."
   "I don't think you're anywhere near to neglecting Skyla.  If anything, I 
feel like I'm neglecting you, not the other way around.  I'm gone all day, 
only to spend a few hours with her on weekends and before she goes to bed.  
As for me, well, let's just make sure we spend a lot of time together over 
the next few weeks and this summer."
   "Don't worry.  I'm taking summer quarter off.  I have the credits to 
spare, and I really want to spend some time with you and Skyla without 
school getting in the way.  I still have to work, but we have all that time 
between when I stop working and when Skyla goes to bed.  And then after she 
goes to bed, we have a little more private time, with neither of us having 
any homework."
   "I have a different kind of homework in mind." Jenny murmured in my ear 
with a wicked smile, and kissed me.  I kissed her back, pulling her closer 
to me.
   "Mommy!  Daddy!  Stop kissing!" Skyla scolded, seeming to appear out of 
nowhere with my father still firmly in hand.
   "You two sure you've been married as long as you told me?  You act more 
like newlyweds than a couple that have been together for almost two years," 
my father teased.
   "Well, it keeps it interesting.  Especially since Jenny is so creative 
in..."  I let out an oomph as Jenny elbowed me in the stomach.  "In her... 
cooking." I stammered.  Jenny smiled sweetly up at me.
   "That's it Jenny, get him trained while he's still young." my father 
grinned.
   "Thanks for the support Dad." I grumbled, rubbing my stomach.

                                        *****

   My father took Skyla, Jenny and I around to see everything from the zoo 
to a great little Italian restaurant that we hadn't heard of, even though 
we lived only fifteen minutes away from it.  Apparently he came down here a 
lot in his work, but had only gotten up the courage to stop by during this 
trip.
   After the first couple of days he began to notice the way we hung back, 
holding hands and looking at each other longingly.  The next day he came by 
to take Skyla to a children's concert he had heard about in the city.  
Jenny and I sighed, since we were hoping to get a little time together to 
talk like we used to without Skyla interrupting.  We loved her, but she 
could talk for hours about anything and everything.  This still surprised 
us since neither of us ever really talked very much, always being the shy 
type.
   "Why don't you two stay here, and let Skyla and I go?  I don't think 
you'd enjoy it very much, and you both look like you need some, er, sleep 
anyway." he chuckled.
   "That would be great.  We've needed a little time alone for quite a 
while." Jenny said, smiling gratefully.
   "No problem." he said, then took Skyla out to his car, a little two seat 
sports car that she loved since it was bright red, her favorite color.

   The remaining three days of spring break were wonderful, thanks to my 
Dad taking Skyla out for three or four hours every day.  It was almost a 
replay of our honeymoon  except we didn't have Skyla's crying to interrupt 
us.  By the time my Dad had to leave, we were grateful beyond words.  I 
walked him out to his car the night he had to leave for Phoenix.  He was 
driving the distance since his expense account at the company he worked for 
had been cut recently by "some beancounter in accounting" as he phrased it.
   Skyla had given him a tearful goodbye; she had grown attached to him 
over the week he had been in town.  Small wonder considering that she was 
pretty much spoiled rotten whenever he was with her.  After all, that's 
what grandparents are for.
   "You have a great family there, Alex.  I'm proud of you." he said as we 
walked into the parking lot outside the building.
   "Thanks.  I've been very lucky to get Jenny and Skyla like I have."
   "I'm sorry that I could never give you a family like you've given 
Skyla." He sighed heavily, "Over the last couple of years I've come to 
realize how much I must have hurt you, to be away as much as I was.  I 
drove your mother away from me because of it, and was too stubborn and set 
in my ways to realize I was losing you in the same way I lost her.  Then it 
was to late.  You met Jenny, and left for college, started a life of your 
own.
   "I should have stopped by the many times I've been in town.  Then I 
could have seen you get married, and Skyla be born.  I've missed a lot.  
Not just the things since you left, but almost everything that has happened 
in your life since you were a small child.
   "Now I'm in my late forties, and I realize that I've never really had a 
family.  But you Alex, you have one.  Cherish them.  It will never be like 
this again after Skyla goes on to college, or even after she goes to her 
first day of kindergarten.
   "But what am I saying?  It's obvious that Jenny loves you, and so does 
Skyla.  You two have something very special; something that few married 
couples seem to have these days.  I can see it in your eyes when you look 
at her, or when she looks at you.  It's a special bond, more than love, 
more than family.  You're best friends, and you can tell each other 
anything.  That's what makes a marriage last.  Your mother and I had it, 
but even that couldn't hold us together, as much as I was gone.
   "Don't ever get distracted from what's really important.  A career can 
be destroyed, as can possessions.  But a family will always be there, as 
long as you keep up the maintenance on it."
   We had reached the car, despite our slow shuffling.
   "Thanks Dad, for everything," I said, not sure what else to say.
   "Hey, no problem.  Just learn from my mistakes, would you?  God knows 
I'm just starting to."  He shook his head sadly.
   I put out my hand and he took it, pulling me into a hug.  The first hug 
I had gotten from my father in a long, long time.
   "Drive carefully, would you?" I sniffed, blinking back the 'unmanly' 
tears I felt flooding my eyes.
   "I will, son, I will."  He pulled away and climbed into his car.  I 
watched him drive away with one last wave out the window.
   As I walked back to the apartment, I thought about what had just 
happened, what had happened over the last few days.  Then I had to stop, 
the tears blurring my eyesight to the point I could no longer see.  I stood 
there for moment, composing myself.  Then I went in to see my family.  But 
I still couldn't get the image of my father's face as he had
climbed into his car out of my mind.
   An image of him with a single tear trickling down the side of his face.

End Chapter Twenty

End Watching, Book One

-- 
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