Message-ID: <33061asstr$1003878603@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <news@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net> X-Original-Path: not-for-mail X-Original-Message-ID: <E6E6302A.3F57@earthlink.net> From: Andrew Roller <roller666@earthlink.net> Reply-To: roller666@earthlink.net MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 22 Oct 2001 03:43:51 PDT X-ASSTR-Arrival-Date: Mon, 22 Oct 2001 10:43:51 GMT Subject: {ASSM} Protect your health with holy joe Date: Tue, 23 Oct 2001 19:10:03 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2001/33061> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: newsman, hecate - NND --------------------------------------------------------- Visit my FTP site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Roller/ <--click Click, or put the address into your browser. All my stories are there. --------------------------------------------------------------- Protect your health with holy joe Some people think I'm a misogynist. This is not the case. In order to dispel this misconception I have decided to devote my life to helping women. Next to AIDS, one of the greatest scourges of women is breast cancer. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I feel this is an excellent time to begin my service. Early detection is critical in fighting breast cancer, hence I will help the women of 2020 by examining them today, while they are still girls. Once they are in the habit of visiting me regularly, for my free exams, they should be free of any worries regarding cancer. Girls, don't settle for a second-rate examination by yourself. Visit the expert, me, holy joe! Do you have questions about breast cancer? I can answer your questions as I perform my complete and thorough examination of your breasts! First I will begin with a gentle tactile hand exploration, feeling every area of your breasts to ensure that they are completely free of lumps. But I don't stop there! I follow up the hand exploration with an even more sensitive instrument, my tongue. Finally, to ensure the complete working order of your breasts, I suck each breast for several minutes with my mouth. Are you still too young to have breasts? Not to worry! I have a special nipple safety system designed to ensure your nipples are healthy, and to get you in the habit of thinking about breast safety. By meeting with me regularly, you can ensure that you're never "behind the curve" on this important subject. Did you know that November is Cervical Cancer Awareness month? Yes, my services extend to this area of your body as well. By using my special instrument, which I will insert into your vagina, I can ensure that you're healthy here too. Just relax, the procedure will require several minutes of thrusting my instrument back and forth. At the end of it there will be an explosion of liquid from my instrument. This only happens if you're free of cancer, so look forward to it as a sign that you've passed your test. If you should become excited as I perform the test, don't worry; it's a mere side effect that will pass when I withdraw my instrument. Most doctors would stop at this point, but not me! I have designated, on behalf of all (future) women, December to be Colon Cancer Awareness Month. I will insert my special instrument, this time into your butt hole, and thrust for several minutes to determine if there are any obstructions or cancerous growths. Again, look forward to the explosion of liquid from my instrument at the end of the test, signifying that you're healthy. A quick trip to the bathroom will allow you to empty this liquid from your behind. January is Oral Cancer Awareness Month. I insert my instrument into your mouth and you suck on it. The explosion of liquid is your happy sign that you're free of cancer of the mouth. February is Right Hand Awareness Month. Believe it or not, people can develop cancer of the hand. But by squeezing a special instrument, which I will provide, you can determine that your hand is healthy. Look again for the explosion of liquid. Hand-washing afterward will remove this sign of good health, or you can show it to your friends and tell them about my service. March? You guessed it! Left Hand Awareness Month. Each hand should be tested separately, to ensure maximum protection from breast cancer. Patients who still have lingering concerns about their right hand may use both hands on my special instrument, if they wish. As I like to say, "Better safe than sorry. You can't test yourself too often!" April doesn't mean we're done with testing. With the arrival of Spring, it's time to check between your breasts. Yes, sometimes cancer can be found where your breasts press together. But holy joe has a special test just for this region! I insert my special instrument between your breasts and you hold them together while I thrust back and forth. When you feel fluid hitting your face, you're healthy! Ready for summer? Not until you've checked your butt crack. Here we are looking not up inside the hole but along the crack where your bikini thong will soon be resting. I insert my special instrument here, you hold your asscheeks together as best you can as I do the requisite thrusting. When you feel liquid hitting your back, you're healthy! Every day we walk on our feet but we don't think too much about them, do we? In summer, walking on sun-baked sand, there is an increased risk of cancer. That's why I've designated June as Foot Cancer Awareness Month. You rub your toes and your two feet all over my special instrument. If fluid shoots out of it after several minutes of testing, you're ready to once again hit the beach, safe and sound! As a working professional, I need time off. That's why July and August have been reserved for my vacation. Sorry, but if you need help during this period, you'll have to call my appointment secretary (P.D. Wilson) and set up something for the fall. I don't want to lose my touch from overwork. However, if you're especially concerned, perhaps a special private session can be arranged. I'll see if I can fit you in at my private retreat, where we'll take an entire week, or the weekend, to examine all the parts of your body for cancer. Space is limited, so call early if you feel you'll be needing my services during this period. September is my office cleaning and preparation month. With another year of busy cancer testing for future women ahead of me, I need time to sort my paperwork. However if you don't mind the possibility of being asked to arrange a few files, or perhaps cook me dinner, I can maybe squeeze you in for a special private session during this period. Again, it's best to call P.D. if you need this. I give unaccredited college credit for this so it's popular with many girls. Wow! That sure is a lot of helping, isn't it? I doubt any man is so willing to give himself completely to America's (future) women! Think of all the girls who will live lives free of cancer, or detect it early, due to my efforts. Perhaps someday the women of America will give a Holy Joe Award, in honor of all my exhausting efforts on their behalf. 30 -----FREE Damien! http://www.wm3.org/html/damien.html----- -- More stories at: http://groups.google.com/ Search by typing: roller666@earthlink.net Click on "Power Search" Change "standard" archive to "complete" archive. -- Other providers: IFLC: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org and http://asstr-mirror.org Anya's Lil' Hideaway: http://www.insatiable.net/ Silver: http://www.mr-yellow.com/goodies The Backdrop Club: http://www.backdrop.com Usenet Newsgroup: alt.sex.stories.moderated -- Great art books by David Hamilton and Jock Sturges are at: http://www.amazon.com http://bn.com (photos of naked little girls) -- Naked little girls/politics: http://www.AlessandraSmile.com Man/boy love: http://www.nambla.de Politics: http://www.lp.org http://www.isil.org http://www.fear.org http://www.fija.org http://www.aclu.org -- Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller. All rights reserved. -- Visit me at: http://home.earthlink.net/files/Authors/Roller/www666/index.html Or at http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Roller/www/index.html (It is case sensitive, i.e. type Roller, not roller). -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> | | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |<http://www.asstr-mirror.org>, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+