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From: Andrew Roller <roller666@earthlink.net>
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 22 Oct 2001 03:43:51 PDT
Subject: {ASSM} Protect your health with holy joe
Date: Tue, 23 Oct 2001 19:10:03 -0400
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                          Protect your health with holy joe


         Some people think I'm a misogynist.  This is not the case.  In
order to dispel this misconception I have decided to devote my life to
helping women.
         Next to AIDS, one of the greatest scourges of women is breast
cancer.  October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I feel this is an
excellent time to begin my service.  Early detection is critical in
fighting breast cancer, hence I will help the women of 2020 by examining
them today, while they are still girls.  Once they are in the habit of
visiting me regularly, for my free exams, they should be free of any
worries regarding cancer.
         Girls, don't settle for a second-rate examination by yourself. 
Visit the expert, me, holy joe!  Do you have questions about breast
cancer?  I can answer your questions as I perform my complete and
thorough examination of your breasts!  First I will begin with a gentle
tactile hand exploration, feeling every area of your breasts to ensure
that they are completely free of lumps.  But I don't stop there!  I
follow up the hand exploration with an even more sensitive instrument,
my tongue.  Finally, to ensure the complete working order of your
breasts, I suck each breast for several minutes with my mouth.
         Are you still too young to have breasts?  Not to worry!  I have
a special nipple safety system designed to ensure your nipples are
healthy, and to get you in the habit of thinking about breast safety. 
By meeting with me regularly, you can ensure that you're never "behind
the curve" on this important subject.
         Did you know that November is Cervical Cancer Awareness month? 
Yes, my services extend to this area of your body as well.  By using my
special instrument, which I will insert into your vagina, I can ensure
that you're healthy here too.  Just relax, the procedure will require
several minutes of thrusting my instrument back and forth.  At the end
of it there will be an explosion of liquid from my instrument.  This
only happens if you're free of cancer, so look forward to it as a sign
that you've passed your test.  If you should become excited as I perform
the test, don't worry; it's a mere side effect that will pass when I
withdraw my instrument.
         Most doctors would stop at this point, but not me!  I have
designated, on behalf of all (future) women, December to be Colon Cancer
Awareness Month.  I will insert my special instrument, this time into
your butt hole, and thrust for several minutes to determine if there are
any obstructions or cancerous growths.  Again, look forward to the
explosion of liquid from my instrument at the end of the test,
signifying that you're healthy.  A quick trip to the bathroom will allow
you to empty this liquid from your behind.
         January is Oral Cancer Awareness Month.  I insert my instrument
into your mouth and you suck on it.  The explosion of liquid is your
happy sign that you're free of cancer of the mouth.
         February is Right Hand Awareness Month.  Believe it or not,
people can develop cancer of the hand.  But by squeezing a special
instrument, which I will provide, you can determine that your hand is
healthy.  Look again for the explosion of liquid.  Hand-washing
afterward will remove this sign of good health, or you can show it to
your friends and tell them about my service.
         March?  You guessed it!  Left Hand Awareness Month.  Each hand
should be tested separately, to ensure maximum protection from breast
cancer.  Patients who still have lingering concerns about their right
hand may use both hands on my special instrument, if they wish.  As I
like to say, "Better safe than sorry.  You can't test yourself too
often!"
         April doesn't mean we're done with testing.  With the arrival
of Spring, it's time to check between your breasts.  Yes, sometimes
cancer can be found where your breasts press together.  But holy joe has
a special test just for this region!  I insert my special instrument
between your breasts and you hold them together while I thrust back and
forth.  When you feel fluid hitting your face, you're healthy!
         Ready for summer?  Not until you've checked your butt crack. 
Here we are looking not up inside the hole but along the crack where
your bikini thong will soon be resting.  I insert my special instrument
here, you hold your asscheeks together as best you can as I do the
requisite thrusting.  When you feel liquid hitting your back, you're
healthy!
         Every day we walk on our feet but we don't think too much about
them, do we?  In summer, walking on sun-baked sand, there is an
increased risk of cancer.  That's why I've designated June as Foot
Cancer Awareness Month.  You rub your toes and your two feet all over my
special instrument.  If fluid shoots out of it after several minutes of
testing, you're ready to once again hit the beach, safe and sound!
         As a working professional, I need time off.  That's why July
and August have been reserved for my vacation.  Sorry, but if you need
help during this period, you'll have to call my appointment secretary
(P.D. Wilson) and set up something for the fall.  I don't want to lose
my touch from overwork.  However, if you're especially concerned,
perhaps a special private session can be arranged.  I'll see if I can
fit you in at my private retreat, where we'll take an entire week, or
the weekend, to examine all the parts of your body for cancer.  Space is
limited, so call early if you feel you'll be needing my services during
this period.
         September is my office cleaning and preparation month.  With
another year of busy cancer testing for future women ahead of me, I need
time to sort my paperwork.  However if you don't mind the possibility of
being asked to arrange a few files, or perhaps cook me dinner, I can
maybe squeeze you in for a special private session during this period. 
Again, it's best to call P.D. if you need this.  I give unaccredited
college credit for this so it's popular with many girls.
         Wow!  That sure is a lot of helping, isn't it?  I doubt any man
is so willing to give himself completely to America's (future) women! 
Think of all the girls who will live lives free of cancer, or detect it
early, due to my efforts.  Perhaps someday the women of America will
give a Holy Joe Award, in honor of all my exhausting efforts on their
behalf.

30


-----FREE Damien!  http://www.wm3.org/html/damien.html-----
-- More stories at:  http://groups.google.com/     Search by typing:
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     Change "standard" archive to "complete" archive.
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     Usenet Newsgroup:  alt.sex.stories.moderated
-- Great art books by David Hamilton and Jock Sturges are at:
     http://www.amazon.com  http://bn.com (photos of naked little girls)
-- Naked little girls/politics:  http://www.AlessandraSmile.com
     Man/boy love:  http://www.nambla.de  Politics:  http://www.lp.org
     http://www.isil.org  http://www.fear.org  http://www.fija.org
     http://www.aclu.org
-- Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427)
     is copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.  All rights reserved.
-- Visit me at:  http://home.earthlink.net/files/Authors/Roller/www666/index.html
     Or at http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Roller/www/index.html
     (It is case sensitive, i.e. type Roller, not roller).

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