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From: Andrew Roller <roller666@earthlink.net>
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 07:03:00 PDT
Subject: {ASSM} holy joe invests in the American Dream
Date: Tue, 23 Oct 2001 17:10:02 -0400
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- NND ---------------------------------------------------------
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Click, or put the address into your browser.  All my stories are there.
------------------------------------------------------ lollipop -


                       holy joe invests in the American Dream


         Did you know that I've tried twice to be a Realtor?  When I
discovered how much commission a Realtor could get selling a house, I
figured this was a quick way to wealth.  But I didn't want to fool
around just selling any sort of houses.  I went to Palm Springs to sell
million dollar homes.
         This was not my brightest idea.  At the time I had no money and
so I wasn't able to bathe regularly.  Trying to sell millionaires
housing while taking baths once a month made a tough profession even
tougher.
         I must ask God forgiveness for the racist thought I had at this
point.  I figured, "Well, since I smell, why not sell housing in
Harlem?"  However by the time I walked there my clothes were completely
worn out.  All except for a free shirt I'd gotten at a rally in
Louisiana.  I'd been embarrassed to wear it going across the country,
but mindful of my new employer's "no shoes, no shirt, no serving the
public" policy, I decided to wear it.
         Here's some advice for a budding Realtor.  Don't try selling
homes in Harlem wearing a David Duke t-shirt.  As you can imagine,
thanks to my shirt my career wasn't a hit, although I did get hit more
than once.  Also, people in Harlem do in fact bathe, so I was still
batting out in the bodily odor department.
         I'm not one to give up, though.  I'm about to start selling
real estate again.  (Or trying to.)  This time I have decided to
increase my credibility as a Realtor by buying my own home.  And I
have!  I've made, in the last week, a down payment on my very first
home: a used porta-potty.  (In the industry we call this "manufactured
housing".)
         Owning my own home, I needed someplace to stick it.  So after
thinking awhile I decided to put it next to a playground.  I could make
it look like a toilet provided for the children.  I drilled a hole in
the back of the toilet and put a camera there, to get at least some
renumeration for the use others would be making of my home.  Soon a
little girl on the playground had to go to the bathroom.  I directed her
to my toilet and then ran behind it to start filming.  She was quite
cute--some perv would no doubt pay a bundle for a tape of her lifting
her skirt!
         Pretty soon other little girls were needing to use the toilet,
and I began counting up all the money I could make selling tapes.  Heck,
with this kind of business, I could skip being a Realtor and spend all
my money filming little girls!
         Then a boy showed up in my camera's viewfinder, clutching his
groin.  I was about to let him go into my toilet when I remembered being
a little boy.  Could you ever resist, as a lad in a private john,
swinging your pecker all over the place?  I couldn't.  To my horror I
realized this little boy's pleasure would be doubled when he realized
little girls would be using this same toilet after he was through.  So I
rushed around to the front and pointed to some bushes.  
         "Go over there," I told my prospective male guest.  "Pee like a
man."
         You would think that I would be happy with my little business,
filming children in my home using the bathroom.  Unfortunately I got
greedy.  There were some cute little girls who hadn't used my toilet
yet, so I went off to the store and bought some lemonade.  Plus some
laxative.  I mixed the two together and went rushing back to the
playground and offered all the children "free lemonade".
         Wow!  Was my toilet popular 20 minutes after I served that
lemonade.  Girls were lining up in droves and boys were crapping like
mad in the bushes.  Unfortunately a fat girl went into my porta-potty
and I guess she must have been full of crap because as she dawdled in
there, other little girls, unable to hold onto their poop as they waited
in line, began shitting in the grass.  (While still in line.  Aren't
girls sweet?)  I was filming like crazy but unfortunately my camera was
stuck in the back of my toilet.  All I was getting was video of some fat
chick pooping her ass off.  Just then disaster struck.  A woman came
along walking three dogs.  (I guess she was worried about perverts in
the neighborhood, or something.)  When the dogs smelled all that pee and
poop, they broke free from the lady and went running onto the playground
and began sniffing all the children's behinds.  I'm sure you remember
the scene in the Story of O where a dog sniffs O's ass?  That's pretty
much what happened-- little girls were going "YEEEEEK!" as the dogs went
at their asses.  One dog was so energetic that his nose got stuck up a
girl's bottom.  He was a big strong dog and for a minute or so he went
around looking perplexed, but delighted, with a girl sitting literally
in mid-air on his nose.
         You would think my luck couldn't get any worse, but it did.  I
had yanked my camera out of the back of the porta-potty by now.  I was
all set to do an innovative art film of little girls and doggie sodomy. 
As I came around from the back of the porta-potty, however, the woman
who'd been walking the dogs screamed.  It didn't take her any time at
all to figure out what I was doing.
         "My God!  That filthy man's filming little children taking a
shit!" the nosy woman cried.  Just then a cop car drove up.  A woman
police officer got out.  She came straight towards me, completely
ignoring the dogs who were causing all the trouble.  She was getting her
handcuffs out and was about to arrest me when she suddenly realized who
I was:  holy joe, the world's greatest pervert.  She threw aside her
handcuffs and wanted my autograph.  Unfortunately she wanted it in
blood.
         I fled the playground.  My new home got picked up by a police
truck and is sitting in a police evidence room somewhere.  Thank God my
DNA in the bottom of the toilet is mixed in with the DNA of a dozen or
so little girls!  I don't know if I will continue with my plan of trying
real estate again.  After all, it would be rather embarrassing to have
to explain that I was a homeowner, but that my home got repossessed by
the police after I used it to shoot video of little girls taking a shit.
         Will I ever have a piece of the American dream?  I don't know. 
When you work as hard as I do and only have video of a fat chick taking
a shit, (now in a police evidence room), plus a blood spattered David
Duke t-shirt, it's hard to believe in America.  However at least I'm
going to be able to take a bath.  I'm in San Diego now, and there's a
river nearby.  I'm not sure what it's called but it flows into our
country from Mexico so I'm hoping it has some salsa or tacos or
something in it.
         Yep, I can see it now, hiking here along the border.  It's
brown, like the chocolate river in Willy Wonka!  I knew my shit would
come in some day.

30

         Realtor is a trademark of the National Association of Realtors,
which reminds the public at every opportunity not to use the word
Realtor unless they are speaking of bum like me who paid dues to the
orgasination while not selling homes (or bathing).


---------------- Naughty Naked Dreamgirls! -----------------
-- More stories at:  http://groups.google.com/     Search by typing:
     roller666@earthlink.net     Click on "Power Search"
     Change "standard" archive to "complete" archive.
-- Other providers:
     IFLC:  http://assm.asstr-mirror.org    and    http://asstr-mirror.org
     Anya's Lil' Hideaway:  http://www.insatiable.net/
     Silver:  http://www.mr-yellow.com/goodies
     The Backdrop Club:  http://www.backdrop.com
     Usenet Newsgroup:  alt.sex.stories.moderated
-- Great art books by David Hamilton and Jock Sturges are at:
     http://www.amazon.com  http://bn.com (photos of naked little girls)
-- Naked little girls/politics:  http://www.AlessandraSmile.com
     Man/boy love:  http://www.nambla.de  Politics:  http://www.lp.org
     http://www.isil.org  http://www.fear.org  http://www.fija.org
     http://www.aclu.org
-- Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427)
     is copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.  All rights reserved.  NND and
     Naughty Naked Dreamgirls are trademarks of Andrew Roller.
     No claim is made to the exclusive right to use "naked" apart from
     the mark as shown.  Lollipop is a trademark for girls 8-12.
-- Visit me at:  http://home.earthlink.net/files/Authors/Roller/www666/index.html
     Or at http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Roller/www/index.html
     (It is case sensitive, i.e. type Roller, not roller).

-- 
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reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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