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Message-ID: <32011asstr$997895401@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: reynassm@hotmail.com (Reyn Assm)
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NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Aug 2001 02:30:05 GMT
Subject: {ASSM} Am I Insane?
Date: Wed, 15 Aug 2001 13:10:01 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
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Sometimes I urinate in my own mouth.  I dream of sex constantly. 
Although I am a man - I am sometimes a woman in these dreams.  I
frequently am naked and
this get me very stiff.  I have to jerk myself off at least twice a
day.  It hardens into a crunch in the towel I have kept by the bed for
over a year.
    I visited a porn shop last year and walked around picking up boxes
and reading the covers and of course viewing the pictures of jizz
splattered faces
of the male, female, she-male and midgets.  Long hard dicks and
nipples and
human wetness surrounded me and yet I didn't get hard at all.  There
was nothing there of golden showers or grannies or anything a bit
offbeat.  Endless
blowjob pictures don't excite me.
    Give me a window lit up at night with the shades a bit up or a
women bending over and showing some panty in the back.  Or better yet
a nurse wearing white with a darker panty underneath.  Boing, up goes
the johnson!!!
    The guys just look at me while I'm telling them this and shake
their fuckin' heads not knowing whether I'm pulling their leg or
whether I am dead serious.  I tell T that I want to come over and fuck
his 78 year old mother and everyone laughs - except T.  I ask the temp
if he has any pictures of his grandmother and he says that he'll ask
his mom.  The others explain why I want them and there is more
laughter.
    "Ride them wrinkles!"  It has become my catch phrase.  Along with,
"Wake up and smell the urinal" and "better to be pissed on than pissed
off".  I don't think they understand me.  Do you?

     I find them telling me stuff that they don't even realize and I
imagine a hypnotic effect of sorts.  I daydream about Ester Rolle from
Good Times and
Courtney Love licking each other and yet I still hit my quota.  Ain't
trances
grand?  Still got my fingers, boss?  I'd pick Courtney up out of a
gutter and
do her even if she had pucked all over herself and was 4 days since
her last bath.  Although she isn't like that now, there is always
hope.  I think Ester Rolle is dead, but there's nothing wrong with
that - right, officer?  Estelle Getty from Golden Girls is still
kicking.  Gettin' hard just thinkin' about
her!!!  Have to jerk it off again right before bed anyway.  Maybe call
Mom and
have the ole dick in the other hand and rub it and keep the breathing
in check.
     "Gotta go, Mom -- got a mess to clean up here."  Meaning more
laundry.  Wet myself the other day when it rained and nobody noticed. 
Rode a city bus for an hour like that.  Cool, eh?  What do you think? 
Also love it when it gets cold and the old ladies sit next to you and
they are rockin back and forth
and you know they gotta pee.  Waitin' for one of them to piss the
seat.
     The airport and the bus station are great places to go to watch
the ladies go in and out of the can.  They walk a bit faster on the
way in.  Slower after
letting loose that pent up stream of yellow heaven.  Paid a girl $5
once to piss in front of me and two other guys.  We got her drunk and
she couldn't
walk all the way to the bathroom.  She said, "How about if I piss
right here?"
     I bet her $5 bucks that she wouldn't have the nerve and of course
the
drinkin' skewed her thinkin"  It was great, she made a mess of herself
and pissed all over her legs and panties and shorts.  Then, she damn
near fell
in her own puddle -- well worth the $5.
     Love this computer, Mikey, cause I can even find grannies and
midgets doing all sorts of stuff.  Pissing and stickin' cigarettes in
their cunts and puffing smoke - so fuckin' cool dude!  Too much
cloging the way with pretty cheerleaders who want to be Martha Stewart
when they grow up or dogs and kids.
That ain't for me.  ASSM is great (a little plug).
     I had a plastic hot dog when I was about twenty.  Not a dildo --
an actual
fucking plastic fucking hot dog.  I'd stick it up my ass as far as it
would go and then whack myself off.  Man, oh man -- you can spurt
across the friggin room!  And I did!!!  Track marks, baby in that rug
that never came out.  Hit the glass on the window once and wrote my
name in it.  Cleaned it off 3 days later.  Mom never came in my room -
but boy sure did I!
     Yeah, peeped at her once or twice - had a big old hairy bush. 
Can't see much through the old keyholes.  Didn't get much out of
putting on her bra.
Dress up at Grandma's, though was fantastic!  Always wanted the bitch
to beat my ass with a flyswatter.  Getting hard again!!!
     I still haven't figured out why I have this thing with Monkey
masks, if anyone has a psych book let me know.  By the way, before I
forget - BLUE BALLS is real.  Mine hurt like hell if I skip a jerking.
 Still thinkin' about that plastic hotdog -- I know I didn't throw it
out.
     "Mom, remember that red plastic hotdog Bobby gave me -- THE ONE I
USED TO CRAM UP MY ASSHOLE?  Have you seen it around?"  They'd lock me
up for sure.
Just like the older bro and older sis.  Not me - I'm 100% undiagnosed.
 I can't be the only one, though.  I'm wondering if sticking Tums up
my ass would do anything?  I should probably call the 1-800 number for
my health insurance and
ask them.  It's 24 hours and they must get bored.  After all, I am
saving them
a freaking, fucking friggin' ass fortune on psych care by pretending
to be normal like everyone else.
     I know a girl that says that all a girl needs is a dog and a jar
of peanut butter.  I ought to give her a call.  NO, not for sex -
she's got the dog.  She just likes to ramble on like me and tell it
like it is.  And of course cry about the pooches being put to sleep
and being skinned.  I'll tell her about the cable access show me and
some buddies are going to do.  I'll even buy the peanut butter.  I
think I can hold a camera in one hand and the dick in the other.
     Jeff, if I end up in jail, I'll let you know if it is anything
like the dream I had about sucking off a black guy in the backseat of
a car.  Remember when I up and told that during lunch.  Turned 2
ladies faces red and one almost choked on her sub -- but yet again
they laughed it off.  Thinkin' I'm out there a bit -- they ain't got a
clue!  Watched one of them pee too one time - that was a freebie. 
Things girls will do when they are drunk!  She pissed all over
herself, too -- hey, I was already hard anyway!
     Gotta search the flea markets for one of them hot dogs.  Think
about who might have stuck it up their ass -- maybe
Tipper-you-know-who.  Another Martha
clone.  Sue, the only clone I want is of you.  We'll switch and your
coach potato hubby won't know the dif.  And your chubby little tush
could be all mine.
Ain't that something to jerk off thinkin' about?  So many Sues and so
many Anns.
Sometime the faces get mixed up....
     "T, is your Momma home?"

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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