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Subject: {ASSM} RP - T26 Diary of Valerie Gurzakin {Titmouse} (MF,alien,1st)
Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 19:10:01 -0500
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T26 Diary of Valerie Gurzakin {Titmouse} (MF,alien,1st)
-------------------------------------------------------
WARNING NOTICE: 
 
   The following story is erotic fiction and includes 
descriptions of explicit sex.  If you are a minor or
if such things offend you, quit reading now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

              Diary of Valerie Gurzakin

                    by Titmouse
           (C)1999, All Rights Reserved



   The following text was discovered on the hard drive 
of a used computer I purchased.  It had been deleted 
but not permanently erased.  Personally, I doubt the 
authenticity of the document and assume it was the 
creative effort of the previous owner.  I submit it 
here with only minor editing changes.  



K123-347 (Local 960524)

   I have to write it down somewhere, and it certainly 
doesn't belong in official dispatches, so I have begun 
this diary.  Mostly, I admit, it is for my own benefit.  
I want to relive and reconsider experiences outside the 
scope of my mission and the interest of my superiors.  
It might be important, though, should anything happen 
to me, for there to be a record of this.
   The subject, to be blunt -- and I can and intend to 
be blunt in this private diary -- is sex.

   I have tried in my dispatches to convey how 
radically different sexual congress among humans is 
from what we Nxtlaqu experience.  Perhaps at some point 
in our early development we were similarly preoccupied 
but if so it must have been eons ago. We live so long, 
conceive so readily and, because of that, copulate so 
seldom that sex plays a negligible role in our culture.  
The need for pleasure as a spur to mating disappeared 
long before we spread beyond our own solar system and 
has nearly disappeared.  The sex act, for us, lasts 
about as long and engenders about as much pleasure as a 
good sneeze.  The important thing is the choosing of a 
mate and the result of mating, not the mating itself.
   I was therefore unprepared for the rather notable 
differences in the human approach to mating, where the 
practice is not only undertaken for its own sake, 
without regard to progeny, but often with extensive 
efforts to prevent conception.  At first, I found this 
salaciousness repugnant.  It pervades the entire 
culture -- art in all forms, advertising, clothing, 
technology, commerce.  At times it all seems to be 
undertaken for the sake of sex.
   Yet, as time passed, I noticed a change come over 
me.  I was concerned, at first, that there might be 
something wrong with my local physical being.  When 
medical tests failed to reveal a problem, I considered 
alternative explanations, and was eventually forced to 
conclude it was normal.  That is, while I control this 
body I inhabit completely at the mental level and 
mostly at the physical level, it has some fundamental 
urges and needs of its own.  
   Once I identified the source of the waves of 
restlessness that came over me from time to time, and 
once I determined that it presented no significant risk 
to my mission, I decided to let my body have its way.  
It was therapeutic and prophylactic.  My body needed it 
for both health and contentment.
   It doesn't hurt, of course, that this body I inhabit 
is young, healthy and -- in human terms, at least -- 
attractive.  (Humans are rather ugly until you get used 
to them, being thick of body, primitively muscled and 
ape-faced.)  I appear to be a female of about 25 years, 
five feet eight inches tall, long dark-red hair, well-
proportioned.  The circumference of my torso around the 
bust is just under 36 inches, narrowing substantially 
at my waist, and increases again to roughly 34 inches 
around my hips.
   This is nothing like what I used to look like before 
I underwent the transfer, which is just as well.  I 
don't think the males of this species (or females, for 
that matter) would have found me attractive in my 
previous form.  I certainly didn't find them attractive 
to me for the first year I was here.
   But, as I said, I came to feel differently.  It was 
a case of body over mind, instead of the other way 
around.  I caught myself, for example, noticing and 
admiring the posteriors of some human males, an 
activity so ludicrous I feared for my mental stability.  
Gradually, it began to dawn on me that my physical body 
was responding genetically to the call of the zygote.  
Once I had identified what it was that was troubling 
me, the next question was what to do about it.
   That didn't take me long to answer.  My next 
question was how.

   It wasn't long after that that the answer presented 
itself.  I was sitting in the park, feeding and talking 
to the squirrels (They are real nuts!), when a human 
male of about my apparent age stopped to talk with me.
   His opening move was not clever:  "Cute, aren't 
they?"  But I said "Yes," and we went on from there.  
Before long, he sat down on the bench with me, and we 
talked of squirrels, birds and -- when one came by and 
chased away the squirrels and birds -- dogs.  Then he 
asked me if I wanted to have a drink or a cup of 
coffee, pointing toward the cafes that lined the 
sidewalk across from the park.  I accepted.
   Alcohol is a peculiarly human taste.  Our experience 
throughout the galaxy so far has turned up few examples 
of widespread use of depressives for "intoxication."  
Most cultures seem to prefer substances that expand 
horizons rather than limiting them.  My own native 
culture has nothing of the sort, pleasure of any kind 
beyond rarefied intellectual satisfaction being alien 
to us.
   I had become more comfortable at casual conversation 
with humans during the past year.  Eddie -- that was his 
name, Eddie Fowler -- asked about me and my history, and 
I lied generously.  My name was Valerie -- Valerie 
Gurzakin. I was from the Czech Republic, I told him, 
but my parents were both Slovaks.  Being a foreigner 
explains a lot of things, I've found, from accent to 
unfamiliarity with common references.  No, I wasn't 
from Prague (the only Czech city most Americans know 
of, if any) but a small village in the north called 
Zentac, which I pronounced as if it ended in 'sh.'  I 
had come to America as a student and now worked as a 
translator for a company doing business in eastern 
Europe.  Eddie bought it all without question.
   All the time we were talking, I was wondering if he 
was going to be the one.  I was pretty certain that he 
was in favor of it, and I wanted to, sort of.  I mean...
   I'd never done this.  Not just as a human, but as a 
Nxtlaqtha.  This, as you know, is my first real 
assignment.  Before coming to Earth, I was young, at 
least in our terms.  And there had never been an 
opportunity or reason at the same time for me to get 
around to it.  I might have gone another 100 of our 
years -- nearly 130 of theirs -- before I was really ready 
to mate.
   But this human body was ready.  I could tell.  I had 
felt it pulling me for several months before I 
understood.  At first, I just knew it wanted something.  
Later, I knew what it wanted.  A man.
   And I found I wanted to give my body a man.  Well, 
why not?  It wouldn't interfere with my mission.  On 
the contrary, the information would be interesting and 
probably useful.  Certainly, it would be my most 
intimate interaction with a human to date.
   So I decided Eddie was going to get lucky.
   I wasn't exactly sure how to proceed.  Fortunately, 
human males are generally the aggressors sexually.  I 
knew all I needed was to somehow communicate my 
willingness and Eddie would take over.
   So I turned to the side and pulled my shoulders back 
as if stretching out a kink in my back, which made my 
breasts jut forward in a manner I knew males find 
compelling, and then leaned forward while talking with 
him, pointing the opening of my blouse toward him and 
giving him a good look into my cleavage.  That got his 
attention.  And I looked him in the eyes, laughed at 
his jokes, touched his hand on the table with mine, and 
slowly dragged my fingertip across the back of his hand 
when I withdrew it.  Pretty soon, he was so obviously 
interested that I would have laughed (Laughing is a 
WONDERFUL human invention) except that I knew human men 
don't like to be laughed at.
   
   I was determined to enjoy the preliminaries, however 
strange they might seem.
   We sat down on his sofa, and Eddie immediately put 
his arm around my shoulders, then pulled me toward him 
and moved his face toward mine.  I knew he wanted to 
kiss, so I puckered my lips to meet his.
   I could tell right away that he was a little 
surprised, because he pulled back a little.  Analyzing 
it quickly, I decided that I was holding my lips too 
firmly, so I let them relax.  That seemed more like it, 
because he pressed his mouth to mine again and sort of 
wriggled it from side to side.  Then I felt his slimy 
tongue push forward from his mouth into mine.  
Restraining the impulse to bite it, I stayed relaxed 
and let him worm his tongue around in my mouth.  Once I 
got used to the idea, it felt pretty good.
   We did that for a while, then Eddie sat back and, by 
pulling on my shoulders, indicated that he wanted me to 
turn the other way.  I tucked my feet up onto the sofa 
and turned to face him, lying across his lap.  Eddie 
wrapped his arms around me and recommenced his kisses.  
This time, when he poked his tongue between my lips, I 
licked back.  He seemed to like that, and he also liked 
it when I opened my mouth wider and let him probe 
around the inside of my mouth.
   The kissing and the close, warm feeling of our 
bodies pressed together sent a pleasant tingle 
throughout my body.  I was slightly alarmed at first 
but then realized that it was responding to the 
caresses and intimacy.  In particular, I noticed that 
my sex organ developed a tendency to contract and relax 
without my conscious will.  It was also lubricating.  I 
could feel the dampness in my panties where the fabric 
pressed against the outer lips of my vulva.
   Eddie moved his hand to my stomach and stroked it in 
slow circles, which did nothing for me.  Then he slid 
it slowly and tentatively upward until it came to rest 
just under my left breast.  I could feel the under 
surface resting lightly on his hand, which I found 
strangely thrilling.
   While I knew, academically at least, that human 
female breasts were considered part of the sexual 
equipment, I had generally understood that to mean that 
human males considered them such.  The mammary fixation 
of the male population was apparent, but my own 
experience to that moment was that breasts were simply 
somewhat inconvenient reserve equipment for nursing 
infants and, other than that, had no role or purpose. 
When Eddie slid his hand higher to cup my breast in his 
palm and squeezed it gently with his fingers, I 
discovered that my assumption was incorrect.  It felt 
good and resulted in more contracting and dampness at 
my middle.  I pressed my breast into Eddie's palm, 
encouraging him to continue.
   We continued to kiss and fondle for several minutes.  
Actually, I did very little myself other than be 
receptive, although I had a vague sense that I should 
do something.  My hands stroked Eddie's back and 
gripped his head, but that didn't seem enough.
   Before long, I felt Eddie's fingers fumbling at my 
back and realized that he was trying to unbutton my 
dress.  Not knowing what else to do, I lay in his arms 
passively and let him.  He was not as adept as one 
might have expected, but eventually he got the top 
several buttons unfastened.  His warm and slightly 
moist palm stroked my back and shoulders, which I found 
surprisingly sensuous, especially when he curled his 
fingers and dragged his fingernails across the skin.  
My body shuddered involuntarily and my shoulders 
twitched several times in response.
   Encouraged, Eddie unfastened the remaining buttons 
down to the small of my back.  Then, while maintaining 
a particularly long and motile kiss -- presumably to 
stifle any protest I might otherwise make -- Eddie began 
to pull the top of my dress forward from my shoulders.  
I made no protest -- indeed, I had no intention of 
protesting -- and even helped by shrugging my shoulders 
forward and then slipping my arms, one after the other, 
out the short sleeves.  The top half slid into my lap, 
exposing my upper torso to the waist except for the 
peach-colored brassiere that supported my mammaries.  I 
had chosen it carefully that morning -- an underwire 
variety that exposed more of my breast flesh than 
usual.
   Relaxing his arms slightly and allowing my body to 
drop backward, Eddie kissed his way to my ear, then to 
my throat (which I found very pleasurable) and then 
down across my thorax to the uncovered tops of my 
breasts.  His lips touched me lightly and nibbled their 
way to the hollow between them.  His tongue poked out 
and licked down into the deep valley.
   I kept telling myself to stop observing and simply 
participate.  I focused on the touch of his lips 
against my skin and the firm, wet slide of his tongue 
tip as it traced along my breast flesh.  I felt like I 
wanted to pull his face into me and press it against my 
breasts, and so I did.
   Shortly thereafter, Eddie's fingers slid to the 
middle of my back and began to fumble at the band 
stretched across it.  I arched my back slightly to ease 
the strain on the band, and he managed to release 
without too much trouble the three hooks that held it 
together.  Propping me against his knees, Eddie pulled 
both sides forward and away, slid the straps off my 
arms, and then tossed my brassiere to the side.  He 
gazed admiringly at my bare breasts and smiled.
   "Nice!" he said, speaking for the first time in 
several minutes.  "So pretty!"
   I blushed at the compliment, pleased that he found 
my upper torso attractive, and buried my face in his 
shoulder.  I was not feigning shyness.  This was all 
new to me, and I felt very uncertain about my proper 
role and response.  My assumption was that the human 
male took the controlling role in sexual congress and 
that what I needed to do was let him.  But I was 
finding that to be inadequate.  First, I felt like I 
should be doing something besides lie there.  More, I 
felt I wanted to do something, too.  And I could sense 
that Eddie was uncertain in the face of my passivity.
   The answer was poking me in the side.  Eddie had 
slipped his arm around my shoulders again and was 
cradling me against his chest, one hand cupping my 
breast, his thumb stroking over the top and across the 
nipple, which was swelling and sticking out and sending 
pleasant, throbbing tingles through my body.
   My nipples weren't the only thing swelling and 
throbbing.  I could feel Eddie's male organ against my 
hip, a sizable lump that stiffened and relaxed and 
stiffened again.  Tentatively, I slid my hand from his 
waist to the front of his pants and traced along the 
swelling with a finger.
   "Ummmmm," Eddie moaned, and kissed me more deeply.  
That seemed encouraging, so I wrapped my fingers around 
the lump, surprised by its length and girth.  It was 
quite a bit larger than illustrations had led me to 
believe.
   "Oooh, jeez," Eddie gasped, breaking the kiss just 
enough to murmur against my lips.  "That feels really 
good!"
   He moved his hips back and forth, which made his 
penis slide inside my loose grip.  Assuming that was 
pleasurable, I mimicked the move, sliding my hand back 
and forth, and was rewarded with another gasp.  I was 
surprised to feel pleased by my ability to give him 
pleasure.
   Eddie's lips were all over my exposed flesh -- at the 
small hollow at the base of my throat, at the back of 
my jaw, at the opening of my ear where his breath 
sparked new tingles and the probing tip of his tongue 
caused a shudder, at my breasts where he sucked and 
nibbled and made more sparks course through me.
   Gently, Eddie slid me across his lap and onto the 
sofa seat.  He kissed me again, pushing his tongue deep 
into my mouth, and put his hand on my knee.  His 
fingers caressed the inside, stroking lightly.  It felt 
very nice to have him do that.  I was again surprised 
at this body and the unexpected pleasures that touches 
in various locations produced.
   As it turned out, the pleasure was repeated, even 
intensified, at other locations along my inner leg as 
Eddie slowly stroked and tickled his way higher.  I let 
my legs relax and gap open, allowing him easier access.  
It was pretty clear where he was headed, and I was 
interested in the result.
   "Do you like that?" Eddie whispered in my ear.
   "Ummmm," I answered.  "Oh, yes.  It 
feels...delicious."  I could feel his lips smile against 
my ear, and then he stuck the tip of his tongue into 
the canal, again.  I was growing fond of that move, 
which always sent tingles running up and down my spine.
   Eddie's fingers inched higher, up between my thighs.  
As I had surmised, he was working his way up to my sex 
organ.  He seemed tentative and cautious, as if I might 
at any moment push him away.  I had no intention of 
removing his hand, which was producing increasingly 
strong feelings -- strange sensations that were 
completely novel to my experience.  If anything, I was 
more likely to grab his wrist and pull his hand up to 
the target, eliminating the delay.  On the other hand, 
I was enjoying the slow, sensuous approach.  I was 
content to let him take his time.  I spread my legs a 
little wider, allowing my dress to rise up nearly to my 
crotch.
   Eventually, his fingers got there.  Eddie slid a 
finger under the elastic of my undergarment, ran it 
through the hair above my sex and down along the side, 
then brought it back across and stroked down along the 
other side.  I strained my hips forward, willing him to 
touch it in the center.  Instead, he withdrew his 
finger and returned his hand to my upper thigh, where 
he stroked and tickled some more.
   Finally, though, he moved his hand upward and cupped 
it over my sex organ.  My hips pushed forward against 
his touch as though they were operating independently 
of me.  Not that I tried to stop them.  Eddie's fingers 
pressed firmly against me and wriggled back and forth, 
making the lips of my sex rub together.  I found it 
both enjoyable and frustrating.  It wasn't quite 
enough.  I wanted his hand under the fabric, not on top 
of it.  I wanted it to touch me THERE, flesh against 
flesh.
   Then, finally, Eddie slid his hand up to the 
waistband.  His fingers wiggled their way under the 
elastic and crept downward through the curly hair that 
covered my pubis.  The anticipation I felt was almost 
unbearable.
   Instead of touching the nearest point -- the top of 
the opening, which I could already tell was especially 
sensitive -- Eddie spread his fingers into a V and 
pushed them down along either side.  Gently, lightly, 
his middle finger came to rest on the vertical slit 
between my thighs.
   "Ahhhhhh!"  The sigh came from deep inside me.  
Eddie increased the pressure slightly and slid his hand 
up and down, which made his middle finger slip between 
the lips of my sex.  His finger probed inward, seeking 
and finding the small, tight channel into my body.
   Eddie had stopped kissing me and was looking 
downward across my bare breasts to where his hand was 
stroking and exploring inside my underpants.  I felt a 
stab of pain in my lower lip and realized that I was 
biting it between my teeth.  My thighs were quivering 
with tension, my pelvis straining upward to meet his 
touch.  The sigh -- almost a groan -- that escaped me was 
involuntary.
   Eddie slid his hand upward and out of my undies, 
tracing his finger through the slit as he did so and 
managing to drag his fingertip across the little bump 
that had sprung up near the top.  An electric shock 
jolted through me, making my whole body jerk in 
response.  I was amazed by the feeling of intense, 
almost painful pleasure.
   Meanwhile, Eddie started pushing my underpants down, 
first on one side and then the other.  I lay there, 
physically passive but mentally urging him onward.  It 
eventually occurred to me that the process would go 
faster if I raised my hips off the sofa.  I did, and 
Eddie slid my panties down my legs and off my feet.  
Despite his hungry glance at what he had just 
uncovered, I wasn't embarrassed to be so uncovered with 
another.  We have no modesty taboos among the Nxtlaqu, 
clothing being not only unnecessary but in fact 
impossible for my race.
   Eddie would have soon distracted me in any case.  He 
brushed his fingers languorously up the inside of my 
leg, starting from my ankle and arriving eventually 
back at the top.  Once there, his fingers sought and 
found again the opening between my thighs, a process 
that I assisted by spreading them wider.  Eddie slipped 
a finger between the lips again, dragged it up over the 
bump again with the same result as before, and then 
slid it downward and inward.
   Now, I'd had my own fingers there before when I was 
first getting acquainted with my new body.  I recall it 
was mildly pleasurable, but mostly I found the passage 
almost dry and therefore difficult.  I had only 
penetrated a short distance, simply verifying that it 
was there.  At the time, I was more curious about where 
the body's urine came out than with potential sexual 
use.
   This was entirely different, however.  Eddie's 
finger slipped easily back and forth in the plentiful 
lubrication that had accumulated.  There was 
resistance, to be sure, when he pressed his fingertip 
inward, but that was mostly because of the tightness of 
the channel.  Repeatedly sliding in and out spread the 
lubrication around, and each time he returned to the 
opening his finger penetrated a little farther.
   I found myself mentally urging his fingertip on, 
wanting all of it inside me.  I began rocking my hips 
back and forth, helping Eddie work his finger deeper 
and deeper.  My breath, I noted, had become uneven.
   Gradually, Eddie sank his middle finger into my 
vagina as deep as it would go.  Once there, he rotated 
it inside me, pressing against and stretching the 
encircling wall of muscle.  I was surprised to discover 
that, while having his finger inside me was just what I 
wanted and certainly pleasant, the most intense 
feelings of pleasure came from the opening of the 
channel, from the fleshy lips that surrounded it, and 
most of all from the little bump of flesh near the top 
of the opening, which was now more swollen than ever.
   Eddie was apparently more familiar with female 
equipment than I was, since he kept running his thumb 
across the bump from time to time.  The fact that I 
sighed or moaned every time he did so no doubt 
encouraged him.  My body, with no direction from me, 
wiggled and wriggled and jumped in response.
   "You like that, don't you?" Eddie said, which was 
almost exactly what he'd said the last time he'd 
spoken, minutes before.  Well, he was still right.  In 
truth, I was half stunned by the intensity of the 
pleasure, far stronger than I'd ever imagined, that 
spread through my body in waves emanating from my 
center, where his finger churned in my sex.  I couldn't 
answer Eddie's question, only squeeze at his shoulders, 
where I was hanging on for dear life.
   "Well, then, let's see how you like this!"  Eddie 
said, sliding his finger out of me.  I was about to 
tell him that I didn't much care for it, but then he 
slid of the couch and moved between my legs.  I 
realized quickly that he was going to do something else 
to me.  I assumed we were ready for the main event.  
Wrong.
   Eddie grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to the 
edge of the sofa.  My legs gapped open, giving him a 
clear look at my wet and (I noticed) somewhat fragrant 
sex.  I expected him to unfasten his pants and reveal 
the lump, and I was looking forward to my first non-
textbook look at the male sex organ with great 
curiosity.
   Instead, Eddie bent forward and began to kiss and 
lick and nibble all around my middle.  I almost laughed 
in surprise.  I had a sudden thought that perhaps Eddie 
didn't know what he was supposed to do and that I, of 
all creatures, might have to explain it to him.  It 
felt good but, after all, that was hardly the point.
   But then Eddie stuck out his tongue and licked it 
across my precious little bump, and I decided -- What the 
hell, I could explain it to him later.  He poked his 
tongue deep into my channel and worked it around up in 
there, then licked my bump again.  Whee!
   Eddie began a steady attack on my sex with his 
mouth, sucking the lips in and gnawing gently, probing 
and licking with his tongue.  He used his fingers to 
spread the lips open and licked my slit from top to 
bottom and from bottom to top, pausing occasionally to 
lash my lovely, adorable, marvelous little bump with 
his squirmy, wormy tongue.  I lay there limply, arms 
collapsed at my sides, my knees spread outward loosely, 
while Eddie nuzzled my... my...
   It WASN'T my sex organ, I decided suddenly.  It 
wasn't my vulva, my vagina, my slot, or even my slit.  
It was my PUSSY!  It was my CUNT!  He had his tongue in 
my CUNT, and I LOVED it!  I wrapped my hands around the 
back of Eddie's head and pressed his face into my 
PUSSY.  It felt GOOD!  (Memo to HQ:  We may have lost 
something here.)
   Eddie sensed my change in attitude, I think.  It 
wasn't that I'd seemed reluctant before.  On the 
contrary, I had encouraged and permitted him every step 
of the way.  But now I was READY!
   He raised up on his knees, his face glistening with 
our combined juices, and began to tear open his belt.  
With quick moves, he popped the top button of his 
pants, dragged down the zipper with a sharp rasp, and 
shoved his pants down to his knees.  When he 
straightened up, I saw it.  My god!
   I flinched.  My knees would have snapped shut if 
Eddie hadn't been between them.  I had assumed the 
pictures were close-ups, magnified to show the detail.  
After all, the textbooks said the male sex organ was 
normally three or four inches long.
   Eddie's penis was at least twice that, and it stuck 
straight out from his body, even a few degrees above 
horizontal.  It seemed to vibrate with energy.  It was 
flush and crimson, the head almost purple, and it 
jumped and jittered and strained like a prancing horse, 
eager to plunge into me.  Into my poor, wee little 
never-before-penetrated tight virginal slit.  I knew 
there was no way it was going to fit in there.  It 
would damage me, tear me, split me.
   Eddie seemed completely unconcerned about potential 
damage.  He put his hands on my thighs and knee-walked 
forward, pressing deeper between my legs.  In self-
defense, I reached out and wrapped my hand around his 
penis and felt for the first time that strange, 
velvety, soft-covered steel.  The skin slid over a 
harder core, back and forth.
   It was enough to make Eddie pause for a moment.  His 
head went back, eyes closed, and he pumped his hips 
back and forth several times, making his erection slide 
within my grip.
   "Jeez, Valerie," he hissed through bared teeth.  
"Oh, god!  Your hand feels so good!"
   I found that, despite my fear, his penis felt good 
in my hand, too.  I squeezed my fingers more tightly 
and moved my hand back and forth along its length.  The 
little slit on the tip of it winked open, and I saw a 
drop of fluid emerge like a tear from a vertical eye.
   "Damn!  I just gotta!" Eddie said.  He brushed my 
hand away, replaced it with his own, and scooted 
closer.  I felt the shaft nudge between my thighs and 
the soft tip bump against the wetness at my center.  He 
worked the head up and down with his hand, sliding it 
in the lubrication.  He pushed with his hips and it 
slid upward and across my bump.  Chills raced up and 
down my spine.
   Eddie pushed down on his penis, and I felt the head 
find and lodge in the opening.  I had a moment of panic 
before I realized that I was perfectly competent to 
stop this any time I wanted to.  A quick chop to the 
side of his neck and Eddie would be unconscious.  A 
little harder chop and he would cease to be.  If it was 
too much, I'd tell him to stop.  If that didn't work, 
I'd do what I had to do.
   I hadn't gone this far to quit without really 
trying.  I could take it if an ordinary human female 
could, I told myself.
   "Please," I said, my voice cracking from not having 
spoken in so long.  Eddie, penis in hand, had started 
to press forward.  He hesitated and looked at me.
   "I've... never done this before."
   The change was immediate and encouraging.  Eddie's 
whole attitude  seemed to soften.
   "You're a... a virgin?" he asked, not really believing 
it.
   "Yeah," I said.
   "Well..."  His eyes darted from side to side, 
uncertain.
   "I want to," I said.  "But I'm afraid.  You're so 
big."
   Eddie blushed.  I liked that.
   "I... I'll go slow," he said.
   "Will you?"
   "Yes."
   I hesitated.
   "Okay."
   "You sure?"
   "Yes."
   Eddie moved forward again, guiding himself with one 
hand, leaning on the other.  Again, I felt the blunt 
head press against me.  Again, he moved it up and down, 
snuggling between the lips of my opening and wetting 
the head with my juice.  Then he pressed the head 
downward slightly, and I felt it center at the 
entrance.
   Then, rather than poking forward with his hips to 
push into me, Eddie let his weight slowly and gradually 
settle downward.  The pressure increased so little, so 
painlessly, that I relaxed.  And felt the head of his 
stiff rod slip into the opening.  I opened my thighs
to welcome him and pushed my hips up to meet him and --
YOW! -- jerked back instantly as a sharp pain shot 
through me from just inside the opening.
   My eyes must have reflected my panic as I looked up 
at Eddie.  He held himself there above me and made 
calming noises.
   "It's okay, it's okay," he said.  "It's just your 
cherry.  We've got to break it, but it'll be over soon.  
It's like a Band-Aid.  Do it slow and it hurts.  Do it 
quick and it doesn't."
   I knew that; I'd just forgotten.  About the hymen, I 
mean.  I knew it was there, or at least assumed it was.  
And I knew that it was torn in a woman's first 
intercourse, sometimes caused a little bleeding, but 
was no big thing.  At least that's what the books said.  
But right now, I had this thing sticking in my body 
threatening to hurt me up inside where I felt most 
vulnerable.
   Eddie gulped.  "We don't have to," he said.  "We can 
quit if you don't want to."  I could tell he didn't 
want to say that.  But I also thought he meant it.  
   "No," I said, "I really want to.  I... I've gone this 
far.  I have to do it sometime.  It might as well be 
now."
   Eddie looked down at me, so vulnerable beneath him, 
and gave me a funny, touching smile.
   "It won't be so bad," he said, trying to sound 
reassuring.  "Look, put your legs up, around my waist.  
I'll do it quick, and then it'll be over.  And...and 
you'll be glad.  It'll be fine after that, I promise.  
You'll forget all about it.  You'll like it."
   Gathering my courage, I did what he asked.  Lifting 
my heels up into the air, I wrapped them around his 
waist and locked my ankles.  I felt completely 
vulnerable.
   "Relax," he said.  I let out the breath I'd been 
holding, let myself fall back against the sofa.
   With a quick jerk forward of his hips, Eddie drove 
his hard pole into me.  There was a sharp prick of pain 
that was immediately replaced by wonder and awe as his 
penis slid inside.
    I tensed again, more from astonishment than fear,
and Eddie froze, suspended above me, quivering but not
pushing inward.
   "Relax," he said.  "I'm not going to hurt you."
   I couldn't say anything.  The lump in my throat felt 
as big as the lump in my pussy.  But I wanted it.  
Unable to speak, I relaxed my knees, which had clasped 
his hips in fear.  I sighed, and opened to him again.
   Eddie pulled back slightly, pressed forward just a 
little farther, pulled back again, pressed farther.  I 
felt him invading me, a living thing, velvet-covered 
steel.  It was strange, scary and incredibly exciting.  
It was so... intimate... this invasion of my body by 
another, this joining of two separate beings into one.
   My mind was reeling, but my body knew what to do.  
Together this time, we each pulled back slightly and 
then pushed forward -- a mutual, willing joining.  I 
felt him slide deeper into me.  Looking down between 
us, I could see he was almost halfway in.
   Although I felt stretched, there was no pain.  Far 
from it.  What I felt instead was an intense longing 
for more.  I wanted Eddie to stretch me to the fullest 
extent possible.  I wanted him all the way up inside 
me. My sexual equipment, I realized in a sudden flash, 
was designed for this.  However intimidating his 
erection had seemed at first, it was clear that my body 
could accommodate it.
   Eddie pulled back again and pressed forward, each
time going slightly deeper.  I felt his penis probing
into me, spreading me where I had never been opened
before, all the way, all the way into me, stretching 
me open, plunging into my depths, making me feel like
nothing else ever had.  I can't really describe it.
It was wonderfully, womanly sexy.  I had a man inside
me, doing what men and women do.  I was getting fucked.
   I loved it.
   Eddie held still, buried all the way in me, until he 
felt me relax again.
   "Okay?" he asked.
   "Yeah," I said.  "I'm fine."
   "Can I...?"
   "Yes," I said.  "Oh, yes.  Go ahead.  Do it."
   I wasn't really sure what he was going to do, but I 
was very sure I wanted whatever it was.  I admit to 
being slightly confused about how long the process was 
supposed to take.  I knew the end result, of course.  
Was he going to do that now, ejaculate in me?
   What he was going to do, it turned out, was to begin 
slowly sliding his penis in and out of me.  Eddie 
slowly pulled back, drawing his erection gradually out 
until just the head remained inside.  I felt a terrible 
sense of loss.  No, no, don't leave...  And then, just as 
slowly, he pushed back inside me, spreading, 
penetrating, pushing down into my center, generating an 
incredible sense of fulfillment and pleasure and 
downright primitive sexuality.  Then pulled back again 
and pushed in again.
   Slowly and steadily, Eddie began to pump into me.  
Gradually, he increased the tempo, pushing his stiff 
flesh rod into my opening.  At first, I was aware of a 
tenderness inside, presumably where he had torn my 
maidenhead.  But that quickly passed, drowned out by a 
rising feeling that I had no name for, no experience 
of.
   Eddie buried himself in me, pressing his pubic mound 
against mine, forcing my legs wide, spreading me open 
to his attack.  The pressure against my supersensitive 
flesh, especially the bump of exquisite sensation at 
the top of my notch, sent waves of pleasure rolling 
through my body.  I wrapped my legs tightly around his 
waist, pressing him into me, goading him with my heels.
   Awash in my liquid slipperiness, Eddie's rigid penis 
pistoned in and out of me, dragging along the bump and 
sending out sharp shocks of pleasure.  He plummeted in 
and out, faster and faster, his body smacking into 
mine, driving into me.  I matched his rhythm, pushed my 
pelvis up to meet his thrusts, reveling in the feel of 
his flesh slipping inside my tunnel.
   Eddie was grunting with animal passion in time to 
his thrusts, "Ah! Ah!  Ah!"  His body covered mine, 
pressed into me, but I pulled at him, wanting more, 
wanting him, it almost seemed, to thrust all the way 
through me and merge his body with mine.
   Then, still hammering me relentlessly, he threw back 
his head, baring his teeth in a grimace that looked 
more like pain than pleasure, and with a cry from deep 
inside, shot his sperm into my pussy.  I felt it, felt 
his penis twitch and spasm within my sensitive grasp, 
felt him hunch and jerk out of control as he jetted and 
spurted inside me.

   I dressed quickly.  I wanted to get away by myself 
and think about all that had happened today.  Picking 
up my purse, I cast a quick glance around to make sure 
I hadn't left anything, and headed for the door.  Eddie 
watched me with a strange look on his face, but hugged 
and kissed me goodbye and opened the door for me.
   "Uh... Can I see you again?"
   I paused, halfway out the door.
   "You mean like this?"
   "Well, sure.  I mean, I'd like to see you, go out, 
do things together.  But..."
   "But you'd want to do this -- have sex -- again?"
   "Uh, yeah.  Of course.  Didn't you... I mean, wasn't 
it good for you?"
   "Yes, I enjoyed it, and thank you," I said.  "I 
wanted to do that very much.  But I'm not sure I want 
to again."
   "Huh?"
   "That seemed pretty close to perfect to me," I said.  
"I'd hate to spoil it by trying to match it.  Do you 
know what I mean?"
   "Frankly, no," Eddie said.  "I mean, it was good, 
for a first time, but... Well, there's lots we didn't 
do."
   "You mean, there's more?"  It was my turn to be 
puzzled.
   "Hell, yes."
   "Hmmmm," I said.  This was something that would 
require more thought.
   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End of 'Diary of Valerie Gurzakin' by Titmouse.
Story 26

Author's Note:

I had fun with this and hope you did, too.  Of course, we would
almost certainly seem pretty strange to any alien culture.  But,
I thought, inhabiting another species body might have unexpected
consequences.  Much of our behavior, we know, is prompted if not
controlled by genetics, which exerts far more control than our
recently developed brain in determining what we feel and do.
                          ---
This story, as long as it bears my pseudonym and copyright, is
released to the public domain.

All my stories are available at:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Titmouse/www, and 
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Titmouse/

SUPPORT ASSTR!

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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