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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Celestial Reviews 379 -- Dec 17, 2000
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 10:10:02 -0500
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Celestial Reviews 379 -- Dec 17, 2000
Note: There has been some discussion on a.s.s.d. of "The Bandit" by
Metlay. I am reposting the guest review written by Piper in January
1998. Piper preferred to write under one name and review under
another. He no longer does either. It's an insightful review of an
excellent story.
Second note: Here are the entries so far for the Celestial Christmas
Story Contest:
"Lucky Santa" by Sven the Elder
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27848
"A Neighbor's Gift" by Redman
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/A_Neighbor's_Gift.txt
"Black Silk Stockings" by Tiramisu
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27802
"Mike's Present" by EZ Riter
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27806
"Christmas Creampie" by Creampie Eater
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27793
"Bernoulli's Christmas" by Chuck Waggin
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27893
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27906
If you have time to send me comments about any of these stories or
to post discussion in a.s.s.d., I would appreciate hearing from you.
There are three of these stories that I really like. In addition, if
there are any other entries, please send them to me by the winter
solstice, which occurs somewhere in the early morning of December
21.
Third note: I originally said I would repost ALL my reviews of
Christmas stories. I have decided that's an impossible task.
Instead, I'll repost the reviews of what I think are the TOP 25
Christmas stories I have ever reviewed, plus all the current
Christmas stories I can find that are not sheer drivel. At the
present time, my "TOP 25" will include these 19 stories:
1. "Stocking Filler" by Bronwen
http://www.hootisland.com/bronwen/xmas.htm
2. "For Now" by Uther Pendragon
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/brennan/now.txt
3. "Forget All That" by Uther Pendragon
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/brennan/fat_a.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/brennan/fat_b.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/brennan/fat_c.txt
4. "The Night Before Christmas" by M1KE HUNT
http://baird.pair.com/mrm1ke/christmas.htm
5. "Here Cums Santa" by SueNH
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/BitBard/www/forray/sue/santa.html
6. "Sue Saves Christmas" Paul LeComte
7. "Wrapped Attention" by Uther Pendragon
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/story/wrapped.txt
8. "Santa's Cumming" by Kansica
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe
's_Collection/Romance/Santa's%20Cum
ming%201%20by%
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe
's_Collection/Romance/Santa's%20Cum
ming%202.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe
's_Collection/Romance/Santa's%20Cum
ming%203.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe
's_Collection/Romance/Santa's%20Cum
ming%204.txt
9. "Snowed In" by Dulcinea
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/BitBard/www/forray/dulcinea/snow1.html
10. "Christmas Break" by Mat Twassel
http://members.aol.com/Mmtwassel/xmas.txt
11. "Solstice Present" by Michael Snider
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe%27s_Collection/Bondage/needwork
/Solstice%20Present.txt
12. "Snow Flake" by DG
http://baird.pair.com/dg/snow.htm
13. "Another Christmas Carol" by James Martin
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year1997/6348.txt
14. "Christmas Tale" by Frank Ashby
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe%27s_Collection/Wifeslut/Christm
as%20Tale%20-%20Frank%27s%20story.txt
15. "A Christmas Pony" by Grr Raoul Leash
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/nifty/gay/sf-fantasy/christmas-pony
16. "Christmas with the Andersons" by James Boswell
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year1997/6080.txt
17. "Christmas Presents" by Ruth White
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe%27s_Collection/TG/ChristmasPres
ents.txt
18. "Oh, Christmas Tree" by Dulcinea
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/BitBard/www/forray/dulcinea/christmas.html
19. "Adult Christmas" by Abby
If you know the links to any of the unlinked stories in my list or
any stories that you think I am missing, please let me know. I am
definitely willing to make adjustments to my list.
THIS WEEK'S JOKE: I know this isn't new, but some of you readers are:
1. The clitoris is a type of flower. True or False
2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit. True or False
3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird. True or False
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
True or False
5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels. True or False
6. A G-string is part of a fiddle. True or False
7. Semen is a term for sailors. True or False
8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly. True or False
9. Testicles are found on an Octopus. True or False
10. Asphalt describes rectal problems. True or False
11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati. True or False
12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True or False
13. Coitus is a musical instrument. True or False
14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke. True or False
15. An umbilical chord is part of a parachute. True or False
16. A condom is a large apartment complex. True or False
17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir. True
or False
18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. True or False
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. True or False
20. An erection is when Japanese people vote. True or False
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. True or False
22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass. True or
False
23. Pornography is the business of making records. True or
False
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin. True or False
25. Douche is the French word for "twelve". True or False
=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================
"Initiation" by Jennifer Doalfer (emerging sexuality) 9, 8, 8
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/doalfer/www/Initiation.htm
"Welcome to Miami" by John A (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/JohnA/www/Miami.htm
"The Time of Her Life" by Vickie Morgan (Halloween romance) 10, 10, 10
http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/timelifefinal.htm
"The Way Only Teenagers Can" by Thursday (emerging adolescence) 9, 10,
10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27639
"The Reunion of Paul and Ellen" by Paris Waterman (making up by making
out)
10, 9, 9
"A First Posting" by The Sexton (masturbation) 10, 9, 9
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27745
"The Price" by Ann Douglas (teen lesbian sex) 10, 8, 8
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/price.htm
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"The Last Two Days" by Kellis (needful sex) 6/10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27637
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "The Bandit" by Metlay
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22134
=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================
"Initiation" by Jennifer Doalfer (doalfer@hotmail.com).
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/doalfer/www/Initiation.htm
The author claims that the incidents in this story are essentially
true --they are recollections from her adolescent diary, embellished
only enough to make them into a readable story. I don't know whether
that assertion is true, but the story does read very much like a
diary.
Basically, Jenny is a Danish girl who wants to get laid, but she
doesn't want to get the reputation of being a tramp. So she dances
and flirts with Jorgen one night, and she plans to go all the way
the next night. Danes apparently don't play baseball, and so I'm not
familiar with their sex-related equivalent is to "getting to first
base.". Let's just say that by the early part of the second evening
Jorgen had reached midfield without an offsides call. However, Jenny
yellow cards the rest of the guys in the disco and takes Jorgen to
the penalty box -- actually a suspension walking bridge, where she
feels the earth move. However, they stop without a shot on goal. The
soccer metaphor is appropriate. We have several scoreless games.
The preceding paragraph has brought me to an insight about the
differences between Americans and Europeans. American men don't
really like soccer {European football}. This is partly because they
suck at it, but also because soccer has so many scoreless games.
Americans refer to a tie game as being "like kissing your sister."
They verbalize this metaphor with disparagement, even though many of
the sisters would be well worth kissing. Now, here's my insight. The
basic difference between Europeans and Americans is that Europeans
are much more eager to have sex with their sisters than are
Americans. Indeed, if you watch the British Parliament in action,
it's easy to see some obvious effects of inbreeding, which is at
least remotely linkable to the kissing of sisters. In other words, I
think maybe Europeans are more into kissing their sisters, and hence
they like soccer, while American men enjoy the more frequent scoring
of baseball, which also has more breaks, during which they can
ingest vast quantities of beer.
To my utter dismay, Jenny displayed aureolas on the upper part of
her body. She attempted to cover them with 12 square inches of
bikini material, but that amount of camouflage was insufficient.
Those are actually areolas.
So Jenny goes swimming in her skimpy bikini. Now, that's another way
Europeans differ from Americans. Apparently European women go
swimming in scanty, skin-clinging, lust-evoking bikinis. American
women would never do this. They may go to the beach clad thusly, but
they never enter the water. Mostly, they just wear these clothes
when they go to the supermarket or when they pose for swimsuit
issues of sports magazines. Indeed, in parts of the United States a
woman can actually be arrested for going swimming clad in what Jenny
was wearing in this story. Of course, the cops just lock you up long
enough to have sex with you, but that's still a lot different from
Europe.
Anyway, Jenny and Jorgen fuck in a crater that's sort of like a nest
on a dune near the beach. It's good for him, but non-orgasmic for
her -- sort of like a 1-1 tie in soccer, I suppose, or maybe like
kissing one's brother.
When I reached the end of Chapter 4, I ran out of reading material.
"Is that all there is?" I thought. I realized I had the basis of a
nice little song there, but I was still frustrated. When people post
stories in parts, they really should say how many parts or chapters
there are. Otherwise, it's like kissing one's grandmother.
Ratings for "Initiation"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Welcome to Miami" by John A (John3365A@aol.com).
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/JohnA/www/Miami.htm
As you may know, I have begun the custom of reviewing in each issue
the story that has been the longest in my in-basket. My thinking is
that I go through this in-basket quite often and throw out old
stories that I won't have time to review, and so any story that
remains in that virtual pile long enough must be a really good
story.
One flaw that I found in this process is that sometimes the stories
I pull out of the in-basket are stories I have already read. Last
week I found a story for which I had already written the review and
had just forgotten to move the story into deep storage. No problem.
I recognized the story and just skipped it. With the present story I
ran into a different problem: a guest reviewer had reviewed the
story, and I must have been impressed by the review and put it on my
back burner for personal reading.
Anyway, I read this story "by mistake," and it was a very fortunate
mistake. I have read several stories by this author, and this has
instantly become my favorite.
A recently divorced man goes to Miami for a football game. As is
often the case, the person who is almost deliberately trying to
avoid falling in love lets down his guard, acts like his real self,
and finds the love of his life. The fact that he also happens to be
an author of erotic stories doesn't disturb their romance either.
The story is romantic with a healthy dose of realism -- for example,
the narrator is aware that he could be the victim of post-divorce
horniness syndrome. The style is light and lively and the sex is hot
and -- well, sexy. The story is full of interesting surprises --
including anal sex sans degradation.
The author uses one literary technique I want to emphasize. The
narrator refers to Kelly's "wholesome seductiveness." That's a
genuine oxymoron. Seductiveness is by its nature not wholesome, and
the contrary juxtaposition of the two words makes a really nice
point about this character: she was simultaneously seductive and
wholesome. That sounds impossible, but it's not. The same thing can
be said of other oxymorons, such as making haste slowly or wasteful
efficiency. The "oxymorons" that are usually cited as examples of
this technique are not oxymorons at all. People who call them
oxymorons are making a joke. "Military intelligence," for example,
is not a true oxymoron: the person who says it's an oxymoron is
simply trying to make a sarcastic point that all military people are
stupid. Likewise, a "smart blonde" is not an oxymoron. On the other
hand, "brilliant stupidity" would be an oxymoron, as would "stupid
brilliance," if the speaker wanted to make the point that is
inherent in the apparent contradiction. I know nobody will listen,
but oxymorons are worth using correctly.
A side benefit this duplicate review is that I proved to myself that
BillyG gives good recommendations. I read his review after I wrote
my own, and we saw much the same thing in this story. I'll repost
his review below.
Ratings for "Welcome to Miami"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Time of Her Life" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/timelifefinal.htm
This is a Halloween story that the author submitted too late for
Halloween. However, it's too creative to let it lie fallow until
next year.
The basic idea is that Megan exists in real life only twice every
four years. That would be February 29 plus October 29 of leap years.
Bill falls in love with Megan, and the dilemma focuses on how they
can fulfill their love across the barriers of time and visibility.
The author adds all kinds of all-the-wall details to enrich the
plot.
I take pride in being able to predict the ending of almost all sex
stories. In this case, I figured that between Feb 29 and Oct 31 of
1996 Bill would work his ass off in the research libraries and
develop a cure that would enable Megan to live happily ever after
with him. Failing that, plan B would entail Bill going into oblivion
with Megan. I was wrong on both counts. I admire that in a story.
The actual resolution of the plot might be considered by all but a
sore loser to be even better than the one I had envisioned.
One distraction that I encountered was the frequent reference to the
Washington Monument, which is clearly not the huge phallic symbol
found in the District of Columbia on the continent of North America.
Perhaps someone who reads this review will tell us something about
the "other" Washington Monument, which seems to be have been built
over on the other side of the Pond as a sort of symbol of good
sportsmanship.
Ratings for "The Time of Her Life"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Way Only Teenagers Can" by Thursday (Thursday@altavista.net)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27639
This story is an embellished teenage memory. It describes things the
way we adults all wish we could have done it -- the way our
misguided memories really do remember what we never really did.
Embellishment is good. But no teenage boy has ever endured what the
teenage girl did to the teenage boy in this story. At least not on
the first shot of the night. They can't last that long. Middle aged
men subjected to the wiles of a sexy wench are a different matter.
It's all a matter of how much help the rocket needs in order to
fire.
Nevertheless, this is still a good story of adolescent achievement.
Little kids HAVE to believe in Santa Claus, and bigger kids HAVE to
believe that they could once fuck endlessly.
I might add that I have done most of what happens in this story --
except for the finger-in-the-nose-in-the-beer routine -- just not as
an unmarried person or as a teenager, but rather as a careful and
discreet matron who wanted to act out some fantasies without
humiliating my family. That can be fun too!
Ratings for "The Way Only Teenagers Can"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Reunion of Paul and Ellen" by Paris Waterman
(the_panda@hotmail.com).
Although they truly love each other, Paul and Ellen have been
struggling in their marriage. In this story they engage in a
marathon sex session to get their act back together. If more people
sat down -- er, laid down or bent over -- and engaged in this sort
of therapy, we'd have a lot fewer broken marriages in the world.
My favorite pun in the whole story -- which I think is accidental
-- is Ellen's question: "Are you sure nobody's going to come back
here tonight?" Her concern is that somebody might find them
copulating in the abandoned back room. However, when she asks the
question, Paul is getting ready to ream out her asshole. Later, when
Ellen gets "a fucking cramp," I think that pun is intentional.
Again -- my health caution. You really do have to be a little
careful about anal sex. Germs from the front just don't have enemies
in the back, and so you can get a nasty infection if you are not
careful. In addition, KY is superior to Vaseline or to face cream,
because of its water-based chemistry. You can actually get skin
burns -- and learn to hate a pleasant activity --by doing anal sex
wrong.
Ratings for "The Reunion of Paul and Ellen"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A First Posting" by The Sexton (the_sexton@my-deja.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27745
Even if a story is the first one you've ever posted, I think you
should give it a title other than "A First Posting." I'd even settle
for "A First Posting" as a subtitle, but the title ought to tell the
potential reader something informative or creative about the story.
This is a story about a man masturbating to the mental picture of
his ideal woman. It's really very good. The author blends the real
and the imagined together into a really nice mixture of sensations
and emotions. At the end, we're still not sure exactly what
happened; but that's a nice touch.
I hope
Ratings for "A First Posting"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Price" by Ann Douglas (ann_douglas@hotmail.com).
A popular but shallow heterosexual girl needs to get a term paper
done for her, but her boyfriend has failed her. Therefore, she has
to turn to the hottest lesbian in the class, who has some fun with
her.
This is immoral. Kids fucking their brains out is one thing.
Cheating on term papers is another. We have to draw the line
somewhere. Plagiarizing on term papers is almost as plagiarizing
stories for this newsgroup. God appoints a special angel (called a
muse) who watches out for such offenses, and punishes plagiarism
with seven years of bad sex for each offense. Believe me, you don't
want to go there. Besides, if students just do what they're supposed
to do (without cheating), they will profit greatly from doing their
own work and will partake of their fair share goods of society.
Cheating is only permissible in our society when it is done by
lawyers, politicians, and lovers whose partners are assholes or who
grant permission and are permitted to watch.
This is not one of Ann's best stories. {Incidentally, Ann's two
worse stories are "Wilma and Betty" and "A Visit to Grandmother's
House." These would actually be good stories for some authors, but I
have reviewed something like 59 stories by this author that I think
are better than these two.} Nevertheless, Ann supplies us with
healthy doses of FF sexual activity in interesting environments. I
just thought the plot was a little too easy.
Ratings for "The Price"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
{Occasionally I send stories out for guest reviews, even when the
author has not specifically asked me to do so. I do this because I
feel that any publicity is better than none, and because I think my
readers enjoy hearing about the stories. If a reviewer writes what I
think is a bad review, I just omit it. Sometimes reviewers give more
negative emphases than I would give myself. I think these are still
useful, and I hope these reviews are received in the constructive
spirit in which I have solicited them. If any of you have sent me
reviews that I have failed to post, you might want to get in touch
with me to see if I have lost them. I really appreciate the help of
my guest reviewers.}
"The Last Two Days" by Kellis (kellis@dhp.com). Guest review by Jack
Beattie.
Hip dialogue and little passion don't make for a good story as far
as I'm concerned and this story has both. Despite an interesting
concept, I was simply not turned on by this story.
This is the story of a woman who during two days before (during?)
her menstrual cycle becomes so horny that she requires servicing by
a team of men hired, it turns out, by her husband. The rest of the
time, she is a meek and mild housewife with normal desires. I'm
sorry but this just doesn't make it for me. The sex seems contrived
and the dialogue during sex is witty and full of double entendres.
It just doesn't seem real. Consider: during a bout in the shower,
the woman urges her two lovers on and they respond with, "Hi ho
Silver!" and "Giddem up, Scout." Really. To compound the problem,
our woman has a sort of flashback wherein she attempts to explain
how she became this way. Apparently, as a teen, she would take on
legions of boys and men each day, as many as forty, fifty and more
in a three hour period between the end of school and the arrival
home from work of her mother. This has led to a mild schizophrenia
for the woman which surfaces in the last two days.
Technically, the story has few errors in grammar, spelling and
syntax; however, I'd rather read a story full of errors but which I
could believe and which included some passion.
Rating: 6/10
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "The Bandit" by Metlay (posted by Bookman Archives). Guest review by
Piper
In Western civilized cultures, there is a place separate from the
so-called real world; a place where young and old meet, where
learning from books and learning of life mix, where ideas and ideals
are sometimes more important than the people who hold them. We call
these places universities.
The Bandit is a student in a place called Arcadia. This story covers
the last year and a half or so of his academic life. We don't learn
much about his studying or courses, though of course such things
must take place (there's only a few minor mentions of these
matters). Instead, we read about him, his friends and acquaintances,
their shifting relationships, and the slow unveiling of their inner
personalities.
The Bandit is an intelligent young man with a libido that won't quit
(like many young men), but with a problem -- an inner voice that
tells him about right and wrong, and why he shouldn't do certain
things that seem like good ideas at the time. Think of Hawkeye from
TV's _Mash_, with less joking, but with a fair flair for music,
especially bass guitar. Women and sex do not occupy his every waking
moment. He's got a real life.
Some of the other folks involved are: Zero, the skinny, easygoing
guy with the oversized shlong, who makes the girls crazy with lust;
Mary Magdalene, the slightly oversized sexpot with a killer kiss and
an absolutely over-the-top thing for The Rainbow Wizard, a cancer
survivor who turned a mystic bent, all to hide his mind games and
manipulations; Diva, another somewhat oversexed lady looking for a
not-totally-meaningful relationship; Twink, who is honest,
forthright, wears her heart on her sleeve, but is so painfully naive
it hurts, and who eventually learns to share her boyfriend with one
girl, her fiance with another girl, and herself with yet another
girl (all at the same time!); Conan, the musclebound nice guy who
hasn't got a clue as to what he's really all about.
And there's still Starch, Lanky, Flower, Livewire ...
While I read the story, I slowly came to the realization that all of
the protagonists were distilled essences of character types. What
made them live for me were the real situations and their believable
reactions. I could see people I know doing the same things, but
maybe not for the same reasons. Like an onion (a very over-used
metaphor, I know), there is layer upon layer of misdirection and
misunderstanding.
Look below the surface in this story. It won't grip you by the
gonads, despite the fair sprinkling of sex, but it will, eventually,
take over your mind, infesting you with thoughts about the
characters themselves. Whoever the author is, he (or she) wrote a
very intelligent, imaginative slice of life.
(My personal favorite character is Twink, but I don't think she'd
settle for me. I'm probably a bit too much of the one-man-one-woman
kind of guy for her.)
This is another long (275k) story.
Ratings for "The Bandit"
Technical merit 10
Plot and character 10
Appeal to reviewer 10
* "Welcome to Miami" by John A (John3365a@aol.com). Guest Review by
BillyG (hayden@mindless.com)
Of the intellectual and emotional attractions that tug at me when I
read alt.sex.stories, the strongest are those that say, I know you -
- you're just like me. To the degree that such identification
nudges us, we may be pulled into a story's vortex or simply bumped
right back out, the literary equivalent of tissue rejection. It's
the nature of many of the so-called erotic tales posted here that
they're so superficial and fantasy-based that they glance off,
hardly making a mental ripple. I'm delighted to say that "Welcome
to Miami" is not of that genre.
Mike is a very human guy, a writer who is recovering from a failed
marriage and isn't even considering another relationship. He's
spending time with his buddies who've come to Miami to see a
football game. An attractive stranger in a bar, a spilled drink and
before you know it, quite unbidden, Mike meets Kelly. The
connection and the energy that develops catches both them by
surprise. Kelly's willing to take a chance, though she's grounded
sufficiently to protect her heart. Mike is emotionally tossed about
by the suddenness and intensity of the sexual squall. Unprepared
and uncertain, he does the only thing he knows -- retreats. Still,
the connection would appear to be more rooted than Mike appreciates
and he slowly moves away from the safety of his isolation and
becomes willing to take a chance with love once again.
The story and the people are very attractive and more, quite
believable. I suspect that many of us could be Mike or Kelly in the
drama of our own lives. Read it. Do. It's sweet and sexy and
achingly poignant.
Ratings for "Welcome to Miami
Athena (technical quality): 10 (despite a few minor glitches)
Venus (plot & character): 10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer):10
CELESTIAL GRAMMAR:
BOTH ... AND
The proper second half to BOTH is AND. There is a tendency for writers
in recent years to use AS WELL AS for the second half of the statement.
"I made love to BOTH Julie and her sister last night."
NOT
"I made love to BOTH Julie AS WELL AS her sister last night."
It would be acceptable to say, "I made love to Julie, AS WELL AS her
sister, last night. {Whether commas would surround the phrase would
depend on whether the phrase is considered restrictive or not. In
other words, the insertion or deletion of commas would change the
meaning slightly.}
<end>
--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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