Message-ID: <27893asstr$976831804@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <cwaggin@hotmail.com> From: "Chuck Waggin" <cwaggin@hotmail.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed X-Original-Message-ID: <F185vvsGOkevWWGxegI00000579@hotmail.com> X-OriginalArrivalTime: 14 Dec 2000 15:19:54.0337 (UTC) FILETIME=[4F91B510:01C065E1] Subject: {ASSM} Bernoulli's Christmas {Xmas, Rom} <*> 1/2 Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2000 17:10:04 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27893> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: gill-bates, dennyw, newsman, RuiJorge Bernoulli's Christmas {Xmas, Rom} <*> 1/2 By Chuck Waggin (c) December 2000 Comments welcome at cwaggin@hotmail.com Disclaimer: This is my entry in Celeste's Christmas Story Contest for the year 2000. I have lurked and enjoyed long enough, and this contest gave me an excuse to delurk and share the joy. I will appreciate your comments. Do not read this story if you are too young or if it is otherwise illegal in the jurisdiction in which you reside. Also keep in mind that this story is a Christmas fantasy. Much of what happens in this story is illegal, immoral, depraved, or otherwise unwise. But I think it's still a great fantasy. And remember, Santa's a fantasy as well. Please respect my copyright. @---}---}----- CHAPTER 1: The Celestial Christmas Story Contest I woke up when I heard a noise near the Christmas tree. Oh boy, was I going to catch Santa in the act? Indeed I was. He shambled around the room, distributing presents here and there under the tree. When he saw that I had awakened on the couch, he knelt on one knee on the floor beside me and winked at me. "Have you been a good little girl?" he asked. "No," I replied with a licentious twinkle in my eye. "Ho, ho, ho!" he replied, as one of his elves grasped me from behind and placed my wrists in cuffs. "She's got great tits," the second elf said, as he unbuttoned the Christmas shirt I was wearing and began nibbling on one of my nipples. I began to feel warm inside. Santa's smile was more carnivorous than jolly. I like that in a man. His hand grasped the back of my neck and pulled me into his crotch, where his cock jutted from his Christmas suit. His penis was cold and not yet rigid. I could solve both those problems. As I leaned forward to take his pleasure pump into my mouth, I heard one of the elves say, "What goes in dry and hard and comes out wet and soft?" "Chewing gum," replied the other elf, as he uncovered my bare ass and began to drop his own pants. "You guys can have what you find back there," said Santa, laying his finger beside his cock. "I think I can find plenty of Christmas cheer right where I am." @---}---}----- That was about all I could think of. I reread what I had written. Oh, sure, I could add thrusts and penetrations and moans and exultations; but that was my whole plot in a nutshell. My goal was to win the first Celestial Christmas Story Contest of the new millennium. But all I had was 262 words, and they weren't all that likely to generate buckets of cum -- even among the barely legal naked and nubile cheerleaders whom I hoped to embrace in my audience, if you'll pardon the expression. @---}---}----- I logged onto America Online and sent an Instant Message to RandyOne. She's my fuck buddy -- my cyberlover and confidante. I can tell her everything - except, of course, that I am a seventeen-year-old virgin nerd. RandyOne is a beautiful and sophisticated woman. She is a 28-years-old, privately employed accountant. I know that is true, because I have several digitized pictures of her. In one of the pictures she is making love to her best friend, AmandaPanda, who is another of my fuck buddies. They both think I am a suave 30-year-old playboy. They believe this because I once sent them a doctored picture of a hockey player. Most girls don't know Jack Shit about hockey. So I superimposed a minor league hockey player's head on Arnold Schwarznegger's body and told them that I was a futures trader who moonlighted as a bouncer at a club in New York City. I know they believe my story, because they have said some really sexy things to me. Once Randy and Amanda did a virtual threesome with me during which I came twice. I kid you not -- although I kidded them just a little, because I told them I had come two additional times -- once up each their asses. But they believed me, because they both had incredible orgasms. I made them wait for their orgasms. They like that -- when I take control and bring them to the brink and keep them there for a long time while I make them talk dirty to me and make me hotter and hotter while they beg to be allowed to come but have to hold it back until I have satisfied myself. It's really pretty sexy. Shit, I'm getting horny just thinking about it. I really think I am a pretty good cyberlover. I attribute my sexual prowess to a story by Al Steiner, entitled "Doing It All Over," in which the narrator applied his experience from his first life to his sex life when he was transported back in time and had a chance to "do it all over" with the ladies. His main key to sexual bliss was showing respect for the women he made love with and putting their needs ahead of his own. I have combined Mr. Steiner's insight with E.Z. Riter's expertise in titillation, and voila, the result has been a virtual sexual dynamo. If I'm lucky, maybe some day I'll be able to climb the mountains of sexual bliss in real life, but for now I seem to be stuck in the world of Virtual Nookie. So my Christmas Sex Story was going to be a sort of crossover for me. I knew I could consummate hot virtual sex with Randy and Mandy and a few other, more transient, fuck buddies, but a major story that would compete with Ann Douglas or Redman would make my adolescence complete. I mean, you just know that when Celeste or Bronwen or Janey Urquhart take their lovers to the sack, nobody questions their sexual integrity. @---}---}----- But I digress. Here is what I said when I IM'd Randy: BigStick {That's me!}: Hi, sexy lady! RandyOne: hi, wonder man. {That's what she likes to call me. She also thinks it's cute to disregard capital letters and apostrophes and lots of other punctuation. She's very sexy in that respect.} whats up <wink> BigStick: I have a problem. RandyOne: can I give you a hand <wink> BigStick: Not yet. {She was offering to give me a virtual hand job. I love that woman!} But keep the thought. RandyOne: whats up? <wink> BigStick: I want to write a story that will win Celeste's Christmas Story Contest. RandyOne: cool BigStick: But I can't think of any ideas. RandyOne: why dont you submit the last story you wrote for me. i came in my panties. twice. BigStick: I can't do that. Celeste doesn't exactly like bondage and sex slavery.... And anyway, the story took place in a dungeon that had been constructed inside an abandoned meat locker. What does that have to do with Christmas? @---}---}----- Let me explain something to you. I could easily have introduced a Christmas motif into that story. I mean, I could have replaced Mistress Helga with Mrs. Claus, put a reindeer in place of the gerbil, and perhaps have had the heroine shout MERRRRRY CHRISSSSSSSTMAS instead of AARRGGGHHHHHH! In addition, there are exactly the same number of dwarfs left after the first incident as Santa has reindeer, not counting Rudolph, who would be anachronistic anyway, since Rasputin was the main character in the story to which Randy referred. Sometimes I wonder how Randy misses things like this. I suspect she's too erotically aroused to think straight sometimes. As I said, I could have easily have introduced into the story a Christmas motif. The real reason I couldn't use the story was that I stole the thing from a guy named artie. I knew Randy would like it, because artie signs his name without a capital letter -- although he uses most other parts of grammar and spelling almost as well as I do myself. There's a big difference between getting sexual favors from my fuck buddy by passing off as my own stories that somebody else wrote and formally submitting for publication the work of another writer. First, there are ethical standards, and these are surprisingly high on my smut story group. The only kind of cheating these people endorse is on spouses. Second, I'd probably get caught. I think Celeste herself has a database or something, and some of those people on a.s.s.d. must have nothing to do except look for people stealing other people's stories. That's a pain in the ass; but once I post this story, then they'll protect me from rip-offs. So I guess it's OK. What I do when I write stories for Randy is change the names of a few of artie's characters and add a some props, like Mistress Helga, the gerbil, and the dwarfs. When I write for Amanda, I used to steal Ann Douglas stories. I made them unrecognizable by removing all the author's grammar mistakes and then changing the gender of all the characters. I thought this was brilliant, until I sent Amanda four stories in a row that had become MM or Mm stories. Most readers in this newsgroup get a lot more turned on by lesbian action than by gay themes. So I went back into the archives and started stealing Dirty Dawg stories. Amanda thinks she vaguely recognizes some of them, but that's because Mr. Dawg has only one plot -- kinda like "Horatio Alger Gets Laid." What really throws Amanda off is that I change all Mr. Dawg's heroines to modern Yuppie names -- Britney, Ashley, Madison, Brooke, Marmaduke, and things like that. @---}---}----- Getting back to my IM with RandyOne, here's what Randy said next: RandyOne: why don't you do some research <grin>? BigStick: What do you mean? RandyOne: you can read the stories that have won Celeste's contests in the past and imitate them. BigStick: That's a great idea. But if I just copy the stories, Celeste will recognize the plagiarism. She wasn't born yesterday, you know. RandyOne: well then you can read the best stories by the ten best authors on the newsgroup and combine their ideas into your story. BigStick: That's a great idea. Then Celeste won't recognize them at all. RandyOne: right. and you can use Global Replace to change all the names. BigStick: That's a great idea. {The feeling that Randy was getting close to my actual modus operandi, albeit unwittingly, was bringing my little soldier to attention. Intelligent women are a major turn-on to me. Especially intelligent women who review sex stories and give awards in contests. I might also point out at this juncture that I don't think the words "modus operandi" and "albeit" have ever been correctly used in a single sentence in a sex story until now.} RandyOne: and if that doesnt work you can go out and get laid and write about what happens to you. BigStick: That's a great idea. {At this point, I was getting nervous. I said this "was a great idea" solely because I had been using cut-and-paste, and I didn't want to have to type a new sentence. Getting laid was not something that was likely to happen to me. I mean, if the train hasn't left the station in seventeen years or if the little soldier hasn't fired his cannon except in solitary combat, what are the odds that things are going to change just so I could have a Christmas Story?} RandyOne: cool. now lets cyberscrew. @---}---}----- That's what we did. It turned out that Randy had already been naked at her computer when she had been giving me that advice about how to write a good story. But I am going to skip the details, since what Randy and I did more closely resembled what possibly goes on in the locker room at the Super Bowl than anything associated with the Christmas story I am trying to write. As you will see, this is going to be a Christmas story after all. I know that's true, because I have finished the whole story and have then come back and inserted these sentences in this paragraph. It's sort of like time travel. I'll just mention that when Randy told me about her initial nudity, I told her that not only had I been naked all along, but I also had been displaying a raging hard-on that was making it difficult for me to concentrate on anything other than her sopping wet pussy. I said this mostly because I wanted to minimize any potential embarrassment and also because it gave me an enormous boner. She practically came in her pants. She said I have a way with words. I think at that moment she would have used even fewer capital letters than was her custom, had that been possible. Since it wasn't possible, she sent me a macro of emoticons. Reiteratively. It was quite an experience, especially when you keep in mind that I'm not really the suave playboy she thinks me to be. @---}---}----- So I went to my computer and did some research. I searched the alt.sex.stories.moderated archives around Christmas for the last several years. I checked Celeste's reviews for the Christmas tales that sounded best. First the good news: If I wanted to read the top ten Christmas stories published in the past four years, I could cover half of them by reading just two authors: Bronwen and Uther Pendragon. I was excited and downloaded their five stories. Now the bad news: These two authors can write a lot better than I can. The main thing that I learned was that if I wanted to win, I would have to find a way to keep these two authors from entering the contest. However, I did pick up some stylistic techniques from Bronwen, which I suspect true fans will notice and which will greatly improve my story. Since the literary approach to research wasn't working, I decided to use a more applied approach: I would simply go out and get laid for Christmas and incorporate the chronology of my deflowering into my Christmas story. That way, even if I didn't win the contest, I'd still have my record as a Casanova to show for my trouble. Yeah, right, I thought. I didn't talk to Randy or Mandy over a week. By the time I next chatted with them, I had a whale of a tale to tell them. @---}---}----- When I call myself a nerd, all I really mean to say is that I study a lot and am not naturally good with females in real life. I don't have a plastic pen liner to protect my shirt pocket or a holster in which I carry a calculator or anything like that. I don't even own a cell phone or a beeper -- although, of course, I tell Randy I have one of each. So when I say I'm a nerd, all I'm really saying is that I lead a boring life during which I do things to make my parents proud of me and try to lay the groundwork for a prosperous future, during which I will be able to enjoy the pleasures of a happy family life. Also, I'm realistic. I realize that if I am stretching the truth a little when I chat with Randy and Mandy, then it is plausible that they could likewise be lying when they talk to me about sex. However, they seem sometimes to express real life concerns that make some of what they say to me seem authentic. If they aren't being literally and factually honest, they are at least being honest about something I can't quite put my finger on. I am willing to accept them for what they claim to be, because there is no harm in doing so and because even if they are putting me on, they are not JUST putting me on. We are playing roles, and within those roles we have formed the bonds of an honest friendship. @---}---}----- CHAPTER 2: I Came Upon a Midnight Clear And so, the following Friday night, while my more libertine classmates were out laying and getting laid, I spent the evening doing research for the speech and debate meet, which was scheduled to take place the next day. I really kick ass in speech and debate. My strength is extemporaneous speech. Mrs. Ritigliotti, our team's coach, says I have the knack of being able to talk cogently and ceaselessly about almost anything. Perhaps you've noticed that proclivity in me. Since my father is a professor at the local university, we live close to campus, and I am able to go to the library anytime I want. The librarians are nice to me, and I have become adept at using the computers for research, and that's why I can really kick ass in speech and debate. That's also where I met Randy and Mandy and learned about the Celestial Christmas Story Contest -- on the Internet, that is, which I can access through the computer in the study carrels. That's a nice thing that colleges have that high schools lack: really remote study carrels with access to dirty pictures and erotic stories, and where you can actually have an orgasm, as long as you are discreet about it. When spelled correctly, discreet is the sort of word that is likely to help a person win a Celestial Story Contest. @---}---}----- After I finished my research on ways to clean up the environment, I packed up my knapsack and headed out to my bike. It was late, nearly midnight, but it would be safe to ride my bike the short distance to my house in the dark. But I didn't even make it to my bike. The night was cold and clear as I stepped out the door. I was suddenly swept up in a crowd of college girls. They were having a jolly time, singing Christmas songs as they jostled one another and swept me up in their midst. At first I thought I should simply fight my way through the crowd, but then I realized that all the girls were wearing masks and that they were deliberately immobilizing me. I found my hands bound behind my back in some sort of shackles, and a hood was thrown over my head to serve as a blindfold. You might think I would have been frightened, but I have had this dream many times before (except that my captors are usually naked in my dreams); and so I just went along with the flow, assuming I would wake up soon. When they first approached me the nasty nymphs had been singing "Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly." As soon as they had bound me, they lifted me up onto their shoulders and began singing a parody of a different Christmas song: "Yes, he needs a little pussy Right this very minute...." They took me directly into a building that couldn't have been too far from the library, where they set me down and removed my blindfold. I was standing in front of their apparent leader, a tall woman with flowing black tresses. She wore a black mask and generally resembled what I thought a dominatrix would look like in the sex stories I had been reading. The leader placed one arm on each of my shoulders and said, "If you're dumb enough to want to get out of this, you can just say so at any time. All we ask is that you not reveal anything that happens to you tonight." It was at this point that I realized this was really happening. Either that or it was a really wet dream during which I was going to have one helluva nocturnal emission. "OK," I said. Like I said, I have the knack of being able to talk cogently and ceaselessly about almost any topic. With that, two blondes with long hair stepped forward. Each was dressed in a plain white men's shirt that came down to the thigh. It had never occurred to me that an item of apparel so specifically masculine could make a woman look so feminine. As I looked around the room, I saw that there were many more women present than I had seen before I had been blindfolded. The girls who had accosted and captured me had been dressed in very sexy warm-up suits, almost as if they were members of an athletic team. In addition to the two blondes in the men's shirts, these athletic girls had been joined by about ten others, all of whom were dressed in various colors of leather body suits. Like their leader, the girls in body suits all wore high-healed black leather boots that were laced all the way to their knees and gloves that matched the color of their body suits. I doubt that there was a bra in the building. Somebody had released my hands from their bonds, and one shirt girl took me by each hand, and they led me toward a bed that was set up almost like an altar or stage in the center of the room. The others gathered around the bed, and I became aware that they had been chanting music in a language that I didn't understand. Without saying a word, my two escorts began to remove my clothes. Actually, one of them began to remove my clothes while the other began to kiss me. I was glad I had followed my mother's recurrent sartorial advice: I had no reason to be embarrassed by odd stains in my underwear or holes in my socks. They eased me onto the bed, and one of them mounted my chest and encouraged me to unbutton her shirt. She was wearing no underpants, and the pubic hair that bestraddled my chest was warm, soft, and slightly moist. My senses were simultaneously struck by the beautiful sight of two firm globes that stood proudly forth from her chest and by a musky smell with which I was not familiar. She grasped my wrists and held them securely above my head. I had no idea why this was happening, but it was clear that these Vestal Vixens weren't going to hurt me. In fact, they were going to be very nice to me, and so I bestowed on them my fullest cooperation. I did what they told me to do, and they started taking me straight to heaven. While I was still in possession of my senses, the advice of two great philosophers ran through my mind. From Al Steiner in "Doing It All Over" I had learned that if you're nice to the ladies, the ladies are going to be nice to you. From Celeste I had learned the Blowjob Principle, which states that if you get a good blowjob and hope to get another, you should make the giver really glad she gave you the first one. I wasn't sure which philosopher I was following at any specific time, but when I found a muff in front of my face, I made sure that its owner was glad she put it there. I really don't know what the connection was or what incentives were involved, but as soon as my tongue started nibbling the first girl's cockpit, I felt a warm sensation on Little Percy, which had already become quite rigid. As my tongue, caressed her mons and began to search for her entrance, I felt a tongue running along the length of my cock. But I was new at this. How was I supposed to get inside her cunt lips without using my hands? To be honest, I was willing to keep on doing what I was doing while my frontal friend's friendly accomplice continued her ministrations, until I figured out a solution -- perhaps sometime within the next week or so. "Let me help you with that," said the first girl, as she secured both of my wrists within her left hand, and used her right to unfold the lips of her vagina for me. Her smile broadened as my tongue moved into the opening she had supplied for me. I had little clear idea what I was doing, but I had studied operant conditioning in Honors Psychology. My tongue jutted forth, and my playmate sighed as she fed me her love muffin. I delved deeper, and fluids began to dribble down onto my face, while she plunged her pleasure pouch even closer against my physiognomy. I was barely able to breathe, but my tongue kept searching. If this were a Science Fair project, it would be important to determine whether I was shaping her behavior or she was shaping mine. Under the circumstances, however, it didn't matter. I couldn't tell a stimulus or a response from the hole in my ass, nor did I care. As I said, I didn't really understand the dynamics. Sprawled on my back with my hands restrained above my head, I could see no further than the blonde whose gash I was gobbling. Behind her, her blonde accomplice was apparently the person swallowing my swan in a most delightful way. The better my tongue did its job, the hotter my playmate became, and the nicer the tongue and mouth became on my cock. I understood why my playmate was responding the way she was, and I understood why that turned me on. I also understood why I was responding the way I was to the accomplice. But why was the fellatio fiend fellating me so felicitously? As I pondered this perplexity, my playmate abruptly shrieked, "Oh shiiiiit!" and released my hands. She started convulsing wildly and leaned her body further forward across my face. I wasn't sure whether I was going to suffocate or drown, nor was I any longer concerned about much of anything except the wonderfully gyrating body that was obviously very happy to have met me. You have to remember that during this whole process we were not alone. In addition to my blonde playmate feeding my face and her accomplice having sausage and eggs between my legs, there were at least twenty other lewd and libidinous ladies surrounding us. It's impossible for me to describe what they were doing, mostly because I was more interested in more pressing matters, but also because I had never experienced anything like this before. Not many people have. As I tried to reconstruct the scenario in subsequent days, it was obvious to me that I had ben at the center of come sort of sex ritual. The Mistress in Black was in charge, and the blonde maidens seemed to be the guests of honor. The girls in the warm-up suits seem to have been perhaps junior members and those in the leather body suits more important members of the assemblage. Perhaps the two blondes were participating in a ritual that would move them from one level to the next. The ceremony was not an all-out orgy. It was more like a really enthusiastic sacrament. For the most part, only the two blondes and I engaged in sex, with minor assistance from a couple of the attendants. The others were engaged in what I'll call participant cheerleading, for want of a better term. They sang, they clapped, they stomped their feet. But it wasn't silly; it was intense. And it was just plain sensual. The effect was to intensify the rutting frenzy and pleasure of us major participants. Eventually, my playmate collapsed off the top of my face. Literally. I had closed my eyes, and I noticed that her weight was gone; but in the back of my mind I was acutely aware that although my playmate was gone, my pleasure was almost as intense as it had ever been. I opened my eyes and gazed across my chest, to where my penis was proudly pounding the air. At that point I better understood the role of group dynamics in my rapture. The accomplice was not working alone. She had an accomplice of her own. One of the damsels in the leather body suits was rimming her asshole and fondling her pussy, and this activity was a major catalyst to elicit her active participation. In addition, I discovered that it was the raven-haired leader who was manipulating my cock to keep it from firing prematurely and bringing the festivities to an untimely end. She was effectively increasing everyone's pleasure by delaying my orgasm. While I certainly remained inside my own body, I no longer was quite sure where I was. I was so caught up in the experience I don't think I thought anything at all. I wouldn't have been surprised to discover I had been levitating. It was just me and my feelings, and my feelings felt good. It was a perfect high, a rush of sensation so intense that I surrendered my will and barely held onto my identity. I certainly wasn't worrying about the girls' pleasure anymore. I guess I took it for granted that they could manage things until I got back to earth. Eventually, everything came to a tremendous climax. I shot my wad up to the bell tower. Actually, my fellating friend released my penis from her mouth and shook it pleasantly, with the result that my semen shot across both the blondes' tongues and faces and dribbled down their bodies. I felt as if I exploded about fifty times over a period of five minutes, but I doubt that could be the case. The Guinness people would have contacted me by now. The rest was anti-climatic. After a few minutes of cuddling, suring which the blondes and I received a thunderous ovation, three of the athletic girls guided me to an area at the side of the room. One cleaned me with a warm, most toilette, and another dried me. They gave me my clothes and helped me get dressed. They were very courteous about it. I was just plain tired, and so I didn't resist at all when someone put the blindfold back over my head. "We have to put you back without letting you be able to find our secret place," she whispered. I was escorted outside and back to my bike, where they removed the blindfold. I unlocked my bike, and then they gave me what a day earlier would have been the three best kisses of my life, patted me on my butt, and sent me on my way. @---}---}----- <<Continued in Part 2>> _____________________________________________________________________________________ Get more from the Web. 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