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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Celestial Reviews 376 -- Nov 25, 2000
Date: Sat, 25 Nov 2000 20:10:09 -0500
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Celestial Reviews 376 -- Nov 25, 2000

Note: I haven't held a contest in a long time. So here goes. I am 
going to publish a Special Christmas Issue on December 23. At 
that time I'll announce my selection of the Celestial Best New 
Christmas Story. To be eligible, you have to post a Christmas 
story that involves sex and that is either new or substantively 
revised during the year 2000. If you wish, you can just post 
the story on a.s.s.m.; but if you want to be sure I see it, you 
should email me a copy as well.

For purposes of this Celestial Christmas Contest, both 
Christmas and sex will be loosely defined. Like the Supreme 
Court justices, I'll be able to recognize it when I see it.

The deadline will be the exact time of the winter solstice. My 
husband's Swimsuit Calendar tells me that will be on 
December 21, which is also the day that Hanukkah begins. So 
if you wish, you can write about Hanukkah instead of 
Christmas.

In the December 23 issue, I'll also post my cumulative list of 
the Top 25 Christmas Sex Stories, along with reviews of all the 
Christmas stories that I have ever reviewed. Good luck.

THIS WEEK'S JOKE: 

A man goes to see the Rabbi.

"Rabbi," he says, "something terrible is happening, and I have 
to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"

The man replies, "My wife is poisoning me."

Very surprised by this, the Rabbi asks, "How can that be?"

The man repeats, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning 
me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll 
see what I can find out, and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to 
your wife.  I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You 
want my advice?"

The man anxiously says, "Yes."

"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

THIS WEEK'S OTHER JOKE: 

Census Taker: "How many children do you have?"

Redneck Woman: "Fo'."

Census Taker: "May I have their names, please?"

Redneck Woman: "Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George."

Census Taker: "Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named 
your fourth child 'George'?"

Redneck Woman: "Because we didn't want no Mo'."

=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================

"Ten" by Mat Twassel (variety pak) 10, 10, 10
http://members.aol.com/LATwassel/TEN.htm

"Don't You Wanna Fuck?" by Poison Ivan (relationship) 10, 9.5, 9.5
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27323

"What's in a Smile?" by Vickie Morgan (art and sex) 10, 9, 9.5
http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/smilefinal.htm

"Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (romantic bondage) 10, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898

"V for Vaughn" by One Gallus (incest) 9, 6, 6
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/tsearch.cgi?search=V+for+Vaughn

"Alice Has an Answer" by Red Redman (redman@seductive.com) 9, 
10, 10
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice0.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice1.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice2.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice3.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice4.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice5.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice6.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice7.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice8.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice9.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice10.txt

"Just Sit" by Shon Richards (striptease and masturbation) 10, 9, 9
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27418

"Election Bet" by EZ Riter (political sex) 10, 9, 9
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27316

"Pillowtalk" by artie (tender romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www/pillowtalk.html

"New York" by Susan Susan (voyeurism, exhibitionism, fnatasies) 10, 
10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27543

"Show and Tell" by Uther Pendragon (emerging sexuality) 10, 9.5, 
9.5
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27334

"Kissing the Rat" by Morgan Preece (?) 10, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27333

"Hide and Seek" by Uther Pendragon (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27331

=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================

"Camper" by Lyndon Brown (wife watching). BillyG: 9, 8, 8
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26979

"The Time of Her Life" by Vickie Morgan (romance). Jack: 8/10
http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/timelifefinal.htm

=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================

* "Anne's Punishment" by Tiramisu (bondage & sex slavery) 10, 8, 5
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22728

* "Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (romantic bdsm). Myers: No rating.
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898


=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================

"Ten" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com).
http://members.aol.com/LATwassel/TEN.htm

It would be a mistake to skip this posting just because the title 
is simple. The title refers to the fact that this is a collection of 
ten extremely short vignettes. They range between loosely 
related and unrelated, but they are well written and enjoyable.

Ratings for "Ten"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Don't You Wanna Fuck?" by Poison Ivan 
(poisoniv1@hotmail.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27323

There was a country western song a couple of years ago that 
had a recurring line that said something about "When a girl 
says no, she really means yes." The song was drummed off the 
airwaves by people who were pretty sure that it advocated 
rape. 

Indeed, it is safe in real life to assume that when a person says 
no to sex, she really means no. On the other hand, when I say 
stop, sometimes I really do mean I want more. It's a way of 
flirting. It's a way of expressing ambiguity. 

As the other song says, "Life gets complicated when you get 
past 18."

This story touches on that theme.

Ratings for "Don't You Wanna Fuck?"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"What's in a Smile?" by Vickie Morgan 
(artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/smilefinal.htm

Ever wonder why Mona Lisa is smiling? This story supplies one 
answer. It even has a note that supplies some genuine art 
history, which might come in handy on one of those quiz 
shows some day.

Ratings for "What's in a Smile?"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898

This is a sequel to "Anne's Punishment," which I reviewed 
about 15 months ago in CR 335. I wasn't all that impressed 
with that story. Seven months later, Dave Myers, who I think 
writes excellent reviews, gave a much more favorable review to 
"Anne's Revenge." I assumed the difference was that our tastes 
differ -- Dave likes bdsm stories a lot more than I do. Then I 
read and reviewed this same story by accident. I liked it a lot 
better than "Anne's Punishment." I think the reason for my 
more favorable reaction is that the author presents a more 
fully developed context in which apparently unfriendly 
actions clearly represent love and affection; and that context 
was missing in the earlier story.

In "Anne's Punishment," Jack and Mistress Patricia gave Anne 
the bondage treatment. She liked it, for reasons that never did 
make sense to me. In the present episode, Anne has been 
lonely for Jack, who has been away on a trip. She decides to do 
him the favor of putting him on the receiving end of a 
comparable bondage experience. The sex seemed a lot sexier 
to me in this episode.

So, as Dave Myers previously pointed out, this story isn't 
really about revenge, except in a convoluted sense. It's more of 
a romance. That is, Anne doesn't "hurt Jack back"; instead she 
"returns the favor." 

I notice that the author has recently posted "Anne's Wedding." 
I'll have to read that as a sort of tie breaker.

Ratings for "Anne's Revenge"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"V for Vaughn" by One Gallus (onegallus@yahoo.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/tsearch.cgi?search=V+for+Vaughn

Both this and the next story focus on a similar theme: a young 
boy learns about sex from his siblings and young friends. I 
personally learned about sex without fucking my brother or 
sister, and so I have to approach stories like these as an 
outside observer. However, I think I can do that. After all, I 
routinely watch movies about space aliens and sitcoms about 
seriously dysfunctional yuppies, and I understand them 
perfectly.

In this first story Vaughn is a 13-year-old with older sisters of 
15 and 17. One day Vaughn suddenly gets inspired to explore 
his sexuality; and so he starts spying on his sisters, sniffing 
their underwear, exchanging French kisses, and getting laid. 
He learns to watch and learn and to keep his mouth shut, 
unless he can use information to help himself or someone he 
loves. The author has the basic elements for a decent story, 
but my opinion is that he omits too many details. Sexual 
escapades just happen, because -- well, because they happen. 
Then, just as things start to develop, the story abruptly ends 
with the information that all three kids (plus Mom) became 
successful graduates from Midwestern colleges.

The violation of incest taboos can be the basis of a good story, 
but I would like to see a little more development to the plot. 
The author writes well, and I suspect we'll see improvement in 
future efforts. In the present case, I had the feeling that the 
author just wrote about what sounded neat and then ended 
the story when he ran short on titillation. There are better 
ways to develop a plot.

Ratings for "V for Vaughn"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Alice Has an Answer" by Red Redman 
(redman@seductive.com).
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice0.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice1.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice2.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice3.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice4.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice5.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice6.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice7.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice8.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice9.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice10.txt

The major theme of this story centers on a young boy and girl 
discovering their sexuality by exploring each other's body. 
Eventually they evolve into a BDSM relationship. The author 
wants us neither to jerk off nor to shudder at this idea. Rather, 
he wants us to regard this story as a series of interesting 
incidents. As he puts it: "It is my sincere hope that anyone 
looking for a pedo stroke story will be severely disappointed. 
For those that are willing to allow consideration for an 
unusual relationship that is in no way attempts to present a 
norm for the behavior or feelings of real young people, I hope 
you enjoy."

Johnny is a 14-year-old, responsible young man, who pretty 
much takes care of the household and raises his younger 
sister, Alice, while their single mother is struggling with 
making a living in the real world. Johnny's world changes 
radically the day the neighbor girl shows him her pussy and 
plays with his dick and his 13-year-old sister first replicates 
that activity and later informs him that his mother frequently 
masturbates. 

So the next day.... No, I'm not going to tell you the whole 
story. Let's just say that most people would find some of the 
activities of Johnny, his sister, and his mother to be a bit on 
the kinky side. Eventually, the sex gets so kinky that it makes 
Oedipus seem a lot less complex. 

I don't recommend actually doing the things this story 
describes. In the story, the children's personalities blossom as 
they begin their bondage games. In real life there's a less 
pleasant side of such events that would cause someone to get 
hurt. But in the world of my imagination I was able to suspend 
my disbelief while reading this story and to find it both 
interesting and sexy. It's nice when a story does that for you!

A minor problem with the story is that verb tenses sometimes 
get jumbled. For example, the author says, " Some of Jani's 
noises had sounded a lot like noises Alice makes under the 
blankets every now and then." That should be "like noises 
Alice MADE." The author has been presenting the story in the 
past tense; and the sudden change to the present would mean 
that Alice MAKES those sounds at the time the author is 
relating the tale, not at the time the story takes place. Later, 
the narrator says, " I hadn't known much about any of this 
before today." He should have said, "... before that day." This 
confusion of tenses and of time perspectives is distracting, but 
it's not an overwhelming problem.

The author actually writes very well, but he does make some 
interesting errors. For example, he says, "Jani was a nasty girl 
whose father probably molested her every night.  I should 
probably turn him into the police." Here the author repeats 
the verb tense problem. He should have said, "I should 
probably HAVE TURNED him in to the police." But the error 
that caught my attention the most was the notion of turning 
the father INTO the police. That should be "turn him IN TO the 
police." It is NOT correct to merge IN with TO every time the 
two words are adjacent. The way the author wrote the words, 
he is saying that he should have transformed the father into a 
policeman.


Ratings for "Alice Has an Answer"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"Just Sit" by Shon Richards (lordshon@aol.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27418

The narrator is instructed to just sit and watch Joni, while she 
engages in some interesting activities. Just sitting turns out to 
be hard <wink>. However, he manages to follow instructions, 
and he receives his just desert. And that "desert" is spelled 
correctly, even though it's pronounced like "dessert." You can 
look it up.

Ratings for "Just Sit"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Election Bet" by EZ Riter (ezriter@pdq.net).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27316

What do you do if you have made a sexual bet on the outcome 
of the American Presidential Election of the year 2000?  I 
suppose by the time this shows up on the web, the issue may 
be settled. But in this story, if Bush wins, Musette, a lovely, 
black haired, blue eyed, Cajun with a delightful and womanly 
body, will be Brian's for a night.  He can do with her as he 
pleases.  If Gore wins, Caitlin will serve Musette's master for 
the night. 

I just knew that with all those lawyers down in Florida 
somebody was going to get screwed as a result of this election.

Ratings for "Election Bet"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Pillowtalk" by artie (artie artie@netgate.net).
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www/pillowtalk.html

I love it when a story describes one of the favorite moments of 
my own life. In this case, as in many others, I haven't done 
exactly what happens in the story; but I've come close, and if it 
had happened exactly the way the story describes, that would 
have been fine with me.

Every once in a while my husband goes on a sensitivity binge 
and wants to make sure I'm properly taken care of. He knows 
he enjoys what's happening during our lovemaking, and he 
wants to make sure the experience is equally great for me. I 
could just kiss him when he gets that way! Of course, I do -- 
plus a little more.

In the present story the narrator's lover decides to do some 
empirical research to make sure she's deriving sufficient 
benefits from their lovemaking. It's a very nice, romantic little 
story.

Ratings for "Pillowtalk"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"New York" by Susan Susan (susan282@yahoo.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27543

Our narrator is feeling a bit lascivious in New York. A friend 
has stood her up, but that's OK. She has had good loving at 
home the night before. She's experiencing the thrill of 
anonymous travel and the decadence of an expensive hotel 
room all to herself. Most of us have been there, done that, and 
got the tee shirt -- maybe not in New York, but at least in 
Toledo or Sulfur Springs, and maybe with a little less 
decadence.

Anyway, she steps up into fancy boutiques as if she can afford 
them. It's an erotic experience. Women will recognize it -- and 
maybe gay guys. She sends sales clerks on wild goose chases 
all afternoon, while pretending to look again and again for just 
the right holiday party dress.

She has to be careful not to touch herself. It would be so, so 
embarrassing and expensive, were she to stain a dress she 
couldn't afford But the experience is having a psychosomatic 
impact. Fabrics stretch across her burning nipples. Her pussy 
plays peek-a-boo all day long. Leggy blondes watch her 
change. How could a person not get excited? 

I'm afraid I'm losing you guys. Think of the last time you tried 
on jock straps at ESPN Zone or condoms at WalMart. You say 
you don't do that? Well, why do you think the stores don't 
provide that service? We girls understand.

Eventually she finds an opportunity to watch another woman 
in the changing room. Eureka! No more need to play the furry 
fiddle with the shampoo bottle later that night. Voyeurism 
gives way to exhibitionism -- at least in the mind's eye. But if at 
first you don't succeed, take a ride on the subway. No, not to 
flash her fellow travelers, but rather to find the porn joint 
with the peep shows that one can view in nicely appointed 
little booths, where one can see sexy assholes filling an entire 
screen, interrupted only by reiterative cocks filling various 
orifices, and budding rocket scientists engaging in 
unmentionable behaviors, and where you can cum like there's 
no tomorrow with no objections from nuns who might be 
passing by if you did the same thing in Central Park.

Maybe it is true that conventional male-produced 
pornography arrogantly objectifies women and reduces them 
to a collection of body parts, all designed to further the 
patriarchal oppression of a system that judges men by their 
wealth and women by their looks. But the stuff can also be a 
turn on near the end of an odyssey.

As I said in my review of another story in this issue, I really 
like it when a story describes exactly what I have done myself 
-- sometimes in real life, sometimes in my dreams. This is a hot 
little story about the Dreams of the Everyday Woman, who 
gave up the good life -- but not quite completely.

This is very good stuff. Save the $10 in quarters for the peep 
show and just apply your vivid imagination to this story. Your 
only expense will be the cost of washing your underpants 
afterwards.

Ratings for "New York"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Show and Tell" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27334

A prepubescent boy and his friend who is a girl get naked and 
look at each other. I guess maybe you had to be there to enjoy 
it. Or just read the story.

Ratings for "Show and Tell"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"Kissing the Rat" by Morgan Preece (joyce@qnez.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27333

Many years ago, a literary critic buttonholed Ernest 
Hemingway and asked him what his novel "The Old Man and 
the Sea" was about. Hemingway told him it was about an old 
man who went fishing. "No, really!" persisted the pedantic 
pundit, who probably got sexually aroused by symbolism in 
literature. "What's it really about?" The critic never got a 
different answer from Hemingway, who seriously thought his 
novel was about a man who went fishing.

The present story is about kissing a rat. It's 492 words long. 
Read the damn thing. What can you lose?

Ratings for "Kissing the Rat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Hide and Seek" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27331

Freud assures us that even little children are preoccupied with 
sex. Even innocent little children, apparently. And some of 
them have a sense of humor.

Here we have a boy and girl trying to hide from other children 
during a game of hide-and-seek, while nobody has sex with 
anyone. But, alas, this is a nicely nostalgic nubile and nasty 
narrative. I suspect this is how Norman Rockwell learned about 
sex.

Ratings for "Hide and Seek"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10


=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================

"Camper" by Lyndon Brown (indysheets@hotmail.com). Guest 
Review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26979

"Camper" is the story of a middle-aged couple searching for a 
shared activity that might serve to revitalize their marriage.  
The tale is told by the husband, who remains nameless; and 
the story is almost entirely narrative save for a few snatches of 
isolated dialog that add little right up to the fateful end.  It is 
at this point that the relatively lifeless story exhibits a turn of 
sledge hammer intensity.

The sexual appetite of the wife, Joanna, has outstripped that of 
her husband, and his performance further suffers when he 
compares himself to the imagined prowess of the younger men 
swarming about her. His imagery of his wife with younger men 
concomitantly arouses and emasculates him.

At a state park they meet a hapless young man, Don, 
struggling with his camping gear.  Joanna helps him and the 
sexual tension builds.  The husband admits his limited 
capacity and suggests that she have another man.  As it turns 
out, Don is scheduled to be at the next camp grounds, and the 
husband finds himself outside his own tent as his wife makes 
love to Don.  He sees their shadows on the wall and hears 
much of their conversation.  It isn't clear if he's drawn by a 
voyeuristic drive or feels compelled to be a part of his wife 
amorous fling.

He overhears a part of their conversation that brings his world 
down.  At first blush, it has dramatic impact, but on a more 
critical view, it stretches credibility a bit much, robbing the 
story of a degree of drama.

Ratings for "Camper"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8 (too much narrative)
BillyG (appeal to reviewer):8

"The Time of Her Life" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com). 
Guest review by Jack Beattie.

This is a lovely romantic story, and regardless of your approach to 
life, it has a very happy ending. While much of the plot is fantastic,
the reader is gently forced to believe in the events in the lives of 
Verity, Bill and Hope.

Bill meets Verity at a Leap Year dance and they fall for each other. 
Sadly, Verity has to leave at midnight but she promises to return in 
eight months. Neither Bill nor the reader is enlightened as to why 
she stays away, but return she does, on schedule. This time, the 
couple spends twenty four hours getting to know each other and 
making gentle love. Alas, once more Verity must leave and Bill is 
distraught. This time she promises to return in three years and four 
months at which time she will answer any question Bill might pose. 
The clever reader will have figured out the time sequence by now 
and will be speculating about the future of this couple. I didn't 
figure it out until Bill asked the right questions at the start of 
Verity's next visit. By the end of the story, the two are deeply in
love 
and have a child and their future will see them together, one way or 
another.

This is a well written story with clever dialogue and an interesting 
plot. The characters don't really have enough time to develop but 
we see enough of them to be intrigued. While the story is hard to 
believe, the reader will like the characters enough to want to go 
along with the somewhat fantastic plot. The sex in this story is more 
erotic than pornographic; however, it is so gentle as to not be very 
arousing. Finally, there are some genuinely amusing bits in this 
piece that may make the reader laugh out loud.

I like this story but it didn't turn me on enough to be compelling. It
was truly romantic, a fact noted at times by both characters. It is 
definitely worth a read but it is not suitable for firing you up for a
night of passion.

Rating: 8/10

=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================


* "Anne's Punishment" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22728

Blindfolded and bound, Anne has her orgasm shortly after her 
partner does. This is bad, because she is not supposed to cum 
until her Master gives her permission. It is a very intense 
orgasm, but she knows she must be punished.

She has given herself to him, and she will submit to whatever 
he wants. Jack takes her to a pet shop, where she drinks wine 
from a dog dish and the Mistress at the pet shop helps Jack 
punish and train Anne. 

I keep saying I'm not a bondage fan, and yet people keep 
asking me to review their bondage and sex slavery stories. 
Some bondage seems sexy to me; the bondage in this story did 
not. I simply had trouble figuring out how I could possibly 
enjoy having someone do to me the things that Jack and his 
accomplice do to Anne in this story.

I suppose the story is well written. I think I got a clear picture 
of the events the author was trying to describe, and I suspect 
for someone else who buys into the "pleasures of pain" this 
story might be a lot more enjoyable. But I think a really good 
bondage story should make a little more sense even to an 
outsider like me.

Ratings for "Anne's Punishment"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5

* "Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (Tiramixu@yahoo.com). Guest 
review by Dave Myers.
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898

This is a relatively easygoing domination story that will 
probably have at least a little 'crossover' appeal to people that 
might more typically read MF rom stories and avoid stuff like 
this. Written in a very upbeat mood that belies the 
underpinnings of submission itself, it describes a woman who 
is a naive being coached by a man and another woman.

The story is a bit misnamed, given that there really isn't any 
revenge of the 'traditional' D/S sense. Instead, it's pretty much 
a well-described, highly sensual MFF interlude. The build-up 
to that point is pretty unusual. The author has taken the tack 
of writing four separate sections that have incredibly different 
tones and sentiments toward the tryst. In one, Anne is 
introspective of where her experiences are leading her. In one 
section, there is a talky exchange with the 'other woman' 
ahead of the main event, sort of delineating what is going to 
happen. The threesome itself is very well done-- better than 
most-- though doesn't really make much of an effort to 
highlight or bring out submissive behavior. It's there 
sometimes, but sort of halfheartedly.

This story is hard to categorize for that reason. I think it will 
succeed for many readers, and may do so for some that might 
imagine that a story with this title would not be their cup of 
tea. There are still a few things that could have made it more 
powerful. The format of sectionizing the text in order to have 
radically different text styles in each segment makes for a nice 
literary trick. Unfortunately, the quality of the sections is 
pretty inconsistent. Some of it works a lot better than the rest 
(notably- the last section is the best, the dialogue section is 
overdone).

In addition, the relationship between Anne and the male lead 
is sort of up in the air. Though there is a little introspection 
into what the future of this relationship holds, and what the 
characters' motivations are, a lot is left unsaid. It almost 
screams out to be beefed up in this regard, given that the 
underlying template for the story is essentially 'MF rom', with 
just a bit of femdom content.

Bottom line- It's better than that Rosie O'Donnell/Dana Delany 
movie from a few years back (something about Eden in the 
title- exact name escapes me)... that was *supposed* to be 
some kind of cheeky way to show that fetish stuff was 
mainstream after all. In the end, that movie was campy in a 
corny way. This text, on the other hand, achieves a sort of 
normalcy in the characters' attitudes and self-actualization 
that is actually pretty rare. There is still room for this piece 
and this series to grow.

=====================
CELESTIAL WORD STUDY:
=====================

Here are some words I saw misused this week:

CANON/CANNON

A CANNON is a large gun, often associated 
metaphorically with the male phallus. A CANON is a rule 
or an official list or some other official text. A CANON 
can also be a religious dignitary. 

CREDIBLE/CREDITABLE

CREDITABLE means deserving of credit, honor, or 
esteem. CREDIBLE means worthy of belief. The easy way 
to tell these words apart is that CREDIBLE is the opposite 
of INCREDIBLE (unbelievable), whereas CREDITABLE 
focuses on deserving credit for an accomplishment.

INTO/ONTO

The word INTO is not always a proper replacement for IN 
TO, nor is the word ONTO always replacement for ON 
TO.

INTO means "to a place or position; in toward." INTO 
actually has several more meanings, but the key point is 
that very often "in" and "to" need to be separated:

   WRONG: She gave into his demands and agreed to have 
    Sex with him and his ex-girlfriend. 
   RIGHT: She gave in to his demands and agreed to have 
     Sex with him and his ex-girlfriend.

   ABSOLUTELY SILLY: After he read the marriage manual 
     for two hours, he went INTO see if he could pop his 
     wife's cherry.

ONTO means "to a place or position; upon." In other 
cases "on" and "to" need to be separated.

   WRONG: He rubbed the oil into her buttocks and then 
     went ONTO her breasts. {This means he mounted her
      breasts.}
    RIGHT: He rubbed the oil into her buttocks and then 
     went ON TO her breasts. {This means he continued 
     by rubbing oil into her breasts}

   WRONG: The foreplay was so exciting that she could 
     hardly waitto move ONTO the real sex. 
   RIGHT: The foreplay was so exciting that she could 
     hardly waitto move ON TO the real sex.

   WRONG: He bucked up and down so wildly that I was 
     unable to hold onto his cock with my pussy muscles. 
      {"mussels" would be a different error -- or an 
     interesting metaphor}
   RIGHT: He bucked up and down so wildly that I was 
     unable to hold on to his cock with my pussy muscles.

   ABSOLUTELY SILLY: He had so much fun fucking his 
     mother that he went ONTO bob the knob with his 
     sister and aunts as well.



<end>

-- 
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reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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