Message-ID: <27588asstr$975201008@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <news@news.nwlink.com> X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.19.0 From: Celeste <Celeste801@aol.com> Reply-To: Celeste801@aol.com X-Original-Message-ID: <fgg02tga8v2g2ui6tggak9ucrecmck7d97@4ax.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Cache-Post-Path: news.zipcon.net!unknown@gizmo.zipcon.net X-Cache: nntpcache 2.4.0b5 (see http://www.nntpcache.org/) X-Original-Path: news.zipcon.net Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Celestial Reviews 376 -- Nov 25, 2000 Date: Sat, 25 Nov 2000 20:10:09 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27588> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, RuiJorge Celestial Reviews 376 -- Nov 25, 2000 Note: I haven't held a contest in a long time. So here goes. I am going to publish a Special Christmas Issue on December 23. At that time I'll announce my selection of the Celestial Best New Christmas Story. To be eligible, you have to post a Christmas story that involves sex and that is either new or substantively revised during the year 2000. If you wish, you can just post the story on a.s.s.m.; but if you want to be sure I see it, you should email me a copy as well. For purposes of this Celestial Christmas Contest, both Christmas and sex will be loosely defined. Like the Supreme Court justices, I'll be able to recognize it when I see it. The deadline will be the exact time of the winter solstice. My husband's Swimsuit Calendar tells me that will be on December 21, which is also the day that Hanukkah begins. So if you wish, you can write about Hanukkah instead of Christmas. In the December 23 issue, I'll also post my cumulative list of the Top 25 Christmas Sex Stories, along with reviews of all the Christmas stories that I have ever reviewed. Good luck. THIS WEEK'S JOKE: A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi," he says, "something terrible is happening, and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?" The man replies, "My wife is poisoning me." Very surprised by this, the Rabbi asks, "How can that be?" The man repeats, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out, and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously says, "Yes." "Take the poison," says the Rabbi. THIS WEEK'S OTHER JOKE: Census Taker: "How many children do you have?" Redneck Woman: "Fo'." Census Taker: "May I have their names, please?" Redneck Woman: "Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George." Census Taker: "Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child 'George'?" Redneck Woman: "Because we didn't want no Mo'." ===================== Celestial Reviews Index: ===================== "Ten" by Mat Twassel (variety pak) 10, 10, 10 http://members.aol.com/LATwassel/TEN.htm "Don't You Wanna Fuck?" by Poison Ivan (relationship) 10, 9.5, 9.5 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27323 "What's in a Smile?" by Vickie Morgan (art and sex) 10, 9, 9.5 http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/smilefinal.htm "Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (romantic bondage) 10, 10, 10 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898 "V for Vaughn" by One Gallus (incest) 9, 6, 6 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/tsearch.cgi?search=V+for+Vaughn "Alice Has an Answer" by Red Redman (redman@seductive.com) 9, 10, 10 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice0.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice1.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice2.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice3.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice4.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice5.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice6.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice7.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice8.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice9.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice10.txt "Just Sit" by Shon Richards (striptease and masturbation) 10, 9, 9 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27418 "Election Bet" by EZ Riter (political sex) 10, 9, 9 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27316 "Pillowtalk" by artie (tender romance) 10, 10, 10 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www/pillowtalk.html "New York" by Susan Susan (voyeurism, exhibitionism, fnatasies) 10, 10, 10 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27543 "Show and Tell" by Uther Pendragon (emerging sexuality) 10, 9.5, 9.5 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27334 "Kissing the Rat" by Morgan Preece (?) 10, 10, 10 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27333 "Hide and Seek" by Uther Pendragon (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27331 ===================== Guest Reviews: ===================== "Camper" by Lyndon Brown (wife watching). BillyG: 9, 8, 8 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26979 "The Time of Her Life" by Vickie Morgan (romance). Jack: 8/10 http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/timelifefinal.htm ===================== Reposted Reviews: ===================== * "Anne's Punishment" by Tiramisu (bondage & sex slavery) 10, 8, 5 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22728 * "Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (romantic bdsm). Myers: No rating. http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898 ===================== Here are the Reviews: ===================== "Ten" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com). http://members.aol.com/LATwassel/TEN.htm It would be a mistake to skip this posting just because the title is simple. The title refers to the fact that this is a collection of ten extremely short vignettes. They range between loosely related and unrelated, but they are well written and enjoyable. Ratings for "Ten" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Don't You Wanna Fuck?" by Poison Ivan (poisoniv1@hotmail.com). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27323 There was a country western song a couple of years ago that had a recurring line that said something about "When a girl says no, she really means yes." The song was drummed off the airwaves by people who were pretty sure that it advocated rape. Indeed, it is safe in real life to assume that when a person says no to sex, she really means no. On the other hand, when I say stop, sometimes I really do mean I want more. It's a way of flirting. It's a way of expressing ambiguity. As the other song says, "Life gets complicated when you get past 18." This story touches on that theme. Ratings for "Don't You Wanna Fuck?" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9.5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5 "What's in a Smile?" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com). http://members.tripod.com/VickieMorgan/smilefinal.htm Ever wonder why Mona Lisa is smiling? This story supplies one answer. It even has a note that supplies some genuine art history, which might come in handy on one of those quiz shows some day. Ratings for "What's in a Smile?" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5 "Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898 This is a sequel to "Anne's Punishment," which I reviewed about 15 months ago in CR 335. I wasn't all that impressed with that story. Seven months later, Dave Myers, who I think writes excellent reviews, gave a much more favorable review to "Anne's Revenge." I assumed the difference was that our tastes differ -- Dave likes bdsm stories a lot more than I do. Then I read and reviewed this same story by accident. I liked it a lot better than "Anne's Punishment." I think the reason for my more favorable reaction is that the author presents a more fully developed context in which apparently unfriendly actions clearly represent love and affection; and that context was missing in the earlier story. In "Anne's Punishment," Jack and Mistress Patricia gave Anne the bondage treatment. She liked it, for reasons that never did make sense to me. In the present episode, Anne has been lonely for Jack, who has been away on a trip. She decides to do him the favor of putting him on the receiving end of a comparable bondage experience. The sex seemed a lot sexier to me in this episode. So, as Dave Myers previously pointed out, this story isn't really about revenge, except in a convoluted sense. It's more of a romance. That is, Anne doesn't "hurt Jack back"; instead she "returns the favor." I notice that the author has recently posted "Anne's Wedding." I'll have to read that as a sort of tie breaker. Ratings for "Anne's Revenge" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "V for Vaughn" by One Gallus (onegallus@yahoo.com). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/tsearch.cgi?search=V+for+Vaughn Both this and the next story focus on a similar theme: a young boy learns about sex from his siblings and young friends. I personally learned about sex without fucking my brother or sister, and so I have to approach stories like these as an outside observer. However, I think I can do that. After all, I routinely watch movies about space aliens and sitcoms about seriously dysfunctional yuppies, and I understand them perfectly. In this first story Vaughn is a 13-year-old with older sisters of 15 and 17. One day Vaughn suddenly gets inspired to explore his sexuality; and so he starts spying on his sisters, sniffing their underwear, exchanging French kisses, and getting laid. He learns to watch and learn and to keep his mouth shut, unless he can use information to help himself or someone he loves. The author has the basic elements for a decent story, but my opinion is that he omits too many details. Sexual escapades just happen, because -- well, because they happen. Then, just as things start to develop, the story abruptly ends with the information that all three kids (plus Mom) became successful graduates from Midwestern colleges. The violation of incest taboos can be the basis of a good story, but I would like to see a little more development to the plot. The author writes well, and I suspect we'll see improvement in future efforts. In the present case, I had the feeling that the author just wrote about what sounded neat and then ended the story when he ran short on titillation. There are better ways to develop a plot. Ratings for "V for Vaughn" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 "Alice Has an Answer" by Red Redman (redman@seductive.com). http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice0.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice1.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice2.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice3.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice4.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice5.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice6.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice7.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice8.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice9.txt http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Redman/Alice10.txt The major theme of this story centers on a young boy and girl discovering their sexuality by exploring each other's body. Eventually they evolve into a BDSM relationship. The author wants us neither to jerk off nor to shudder at this idea. Rather, he wants us to regard this story as a series of interesting incidents. As he puts it: "It is my sincere hope that anyone looking for a pedo stroke story will be severely disappointed. For those that are willing to allow consideration for an unusual relationship that is in no way attempts to present a norm for the behavior or feelings of real young people, I hope you enjoy." Johnny is a 14-year-old, responsible young man, who pretty much takes care of the household and raises his younger sister, Alice, while their single mother is struggling with making a living in the real world. Johnny's world changes radically the day the neighbor girl shows him her pussy and plays with his dick and his 13-year-old sister first replicates that activity and later informs him that his mother frequently masturbates. So the next day.... No, I'm not going to tell you the whole story. Let's just say that most people would find some of the activities of Johnny, his sister, and his mother to be a bit on the kinky side. Eventually, the sex gets so kinky that it makes Oedipus seem a lot less complex. I don't recommend actually doing the things this story describes. In the story, the children's personalities blossom as they begin their bondage games. In real life there's a less pleasant side of such events that would cause someone to get hurt. But in the world of my imagination I was able to suspend my disbelief while reading this story and to find it both interesting and sexy. It's nice when a story does that for you! A minor problem with the story is that verb tenses sometimes get jumbled. For example, the author says, " Some of Jani's noises had sounded a lot like noises Alice makes under the blankets every now and then." That should be "like noises Alice MADE." The author has been presenting the story in the past tense; and the sudden change to the present would mean that Alice MAKES those sounds at the time the author is relating the tale, not at the time the story takes place. Later, the narrator says, " I hadn't known much about any of this before today." He should have said, "... before that day." This confusion of tenses and of time perspectives is distracting, but it's not an overwhelming problem. The author actually writes very well, but he does make some interesting errors. For example, he says, "Jani was a nasty girl whose father probably molested her every night. I should probably turn him into the police." Here the author repeats the verb tense problem. He should have said, "I should probably HAVE TURNED him in to the police." But the error that caught my attention the most was the notion of turning the father INTO the police. That should be "turn him IN TO the police." It is NOT correct to merge IN with TO every time the two words are adjacent. The way the author wrote the words, he is saying that he should have transformed the father into a policeman. Ratings for "Alice Has an Answer" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 9.5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5 "Just Sit" by Shon Richards (lordshon@aol.com). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27418 The narrator is instructed to just sit and watch Joni, while she engages in some interesting activities. Just sitting turns out to be hard <wink>. However, he manages to follow instructions, and he receives his just desert. And that "desert" is spelled correctly, even though it's pronounced like "dessert." You can look it up. Ratings for "Just Sit" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Election Bet" by EZ Riter (ezriter@pdq.net). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27316 What do you do if you have made a sexual bet on the outcome of the American Presidential Election of the year 2000? I suppose by the time this shows up on the web, the issue may be settled. But in this story, if Bush wins, Musette, a lovely, black haired, blue eyed, Cajun with a delightful and womanly body, will be Brian's for a night. He can do with her as he pleases. If Gore wins, Caitlin will serve Musette's master for the night. I just knew that with all those lawyers down in Florida somebody was going to get screwed as a result of this election. Ratings for "Election Bet" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Pillowtalk" by artie (artie artie@netgate.net). http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www/pillowtalk.html I love it when a story describes one of the favorite moments of my own life. In this case, as in many others, I haven't done exactly what happens in the story; but I've come close, and if it had happened exactly the way the story describes, that would have been fine with me. Every once in a while my husband goes on a sensitivity binge and wants to make sure I'm properly taken care of. He knows he enjoys what's happening during our lovemaking, and he wants to make sure the experience is equally great for me. I could just kiss him when he gets that way! Of course, I do -- plus a little more. In the present story the narrator's lover decides to do some empirical research to make sure she's deriving sufficient benefits from their lovemaking. It's a very nice, romantic little story. Ratings for "Pillowtalk" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "New York" by Susan Susan (susan282@yahoo.com). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27543 Our narrator is feeling a bit lascivious in New York. A friend has stood her up, but that's OK. She has had good loving at home the night before. She's experiencing the thrill of anonymous travel and the decadence of an expensive hotel room all to herself. Most of us have been there, done that, and got the tee shirt -- maybe not in New York, but at least in Toledo or Sulfur Springs, and maybe with a little less decadence. Anyway, she steps up into fancy boutiques as if she can afford them. It's an erotic experience. Women will recognize it -- and maybe gay guys. She sends sales clerks on wild goose chases all afternoon, while pretending to look again and again for just the right holiday party dress. She has to be careful not to touch herself. It would be so, so embarrassing and expensive, were she to stain a dress she couldn't afford But the experience is having a psychosomatic impact. Fabrics stretch across her burning nipples. Her pussy plays peek-a-boo all day long. Leggy blondes watch her change. How could a person not get excited? I'm afraid I'm losing you guys. Think of the last time you tried on jock straps at ESPN Zone or condoms at WalMart. You say you don't do that? Well, why do you think the stores don't provide that service? We girls understand. Eventually she finds an opportunity to watch another woman in the changing room. Eureka! No more need to play the furry fiddle with the shampoo bottle later that night. Voyeurism gives way to exhibitionism -- at least in the mind's eye. But if at first you don't succeed, take a ride on the subway. No, not to flash her fellow travelers, but rather to find the porn joint with the peep shows that one can view in nicely appointed little booths, where one can see sexy assholes filling an entire screen, interrupted only by reiterative cocks filling various orifices, and budding rocket scientists engaging in unmentionable behaviors, and where you can cum like there's no tomorrow with no objections from nuns who might be passing by if you did the same thing in Central Park. Maybe it is true that conventional male-produced pornography arrogantly objectifies women and reduces them to a collection of body parts, all designed to further the patriarchal oppression of a system that judges men by their wealth and women by their looks. But the stuff can also be a turn on near the end of an odyssey. As I said in my review of another story in this issue, I really like it when a story describes exactly what I have done myself -- sometimes in real life, sometimes in my dreams. This is a hot little story about the Dreams of the Everyday Woman, who gave up the good life -- but not quite completely. This is very good stuff. Save the $10 in quarters for the peep show and just apply your vivid imagination to this story. Your only expense will be the cost of washing your underpants afterwards. Ratings for "New York" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Show and Tell" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27334 A prepubescent boy and his friend who is a girl get naked and look at each other. I guess maybe you had to be there to enjoy it. Or just read the story. Ratings for "Show and Tell" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9.5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5 "Kissing the Rat" by Morgan Preece (joyce@qnez.com). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27333 Many years ago, a literary critic buttonholed Ernest Hemingway and asked him what his novel "The Old Man and the Sea" was about. Hemingway told him it was about an old man who went fishing. "No, really!" persisted the pedantic pundit, who probably got sexually aroused by symbolism in literature. "What's it really about?" The critic never got a different answer from Hemingway, who seriously thought his novel was about a man who went fishing. The present story is about kissing a rat. It's 492 words long. Read the damn thing. What can you lose? Ratings for "Kissing the Rat" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Hide and Seek" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27331 Freud assures us that even little children are preoccupied with sex. Even innocent little children, apparently. And some of them have a sense of humor. Here we have a boy and girl trying to hide from other children during a game of hide-and-seek, while nobody has sex with anyone. But, alas, this is a nicely nostalgic nubile and nasty narrative. I suspect this is how Norman Rockwell learned about sex. Ratings for "Hide and Seek" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ===================== Guest Reviews: ===================== "Camper" by Lyndon Brown (indysheets@hotmail.com). Guest Review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26979 "Camper" is the story of a middle-aged couple searching for a shared activity that might serve to revitalize their marriage. The tale is told by the husband, who remains nameless; and the story is almost entirely narrative save for a few snatches of isolated dialog that add little right up to the fateful end. It is at this point that the relatively lifeless story exhibits a turn of sledge hammer intensity. The sexual appetite of the wife, Joanna, has outstripped that of her husband, and his performance further suffers when he compares himself to the imagined prowess of the younger men swarming about her. His imagery of his wife with younger men concomitantly arouses and emasculates him. At a state park they meet a hapless young man, Don, struggling with his camping gear. Joanna helps him and the sexual tension builds. The husband admits his limited capacity and suggests that she have another man. As it turns out, Don is scheduled to be at the next camp grounds, and the husband finds himself outside his own tent as his wife makes love to Don. He sees their shadows on the wall and hears much of their conversation. It isn't clear if he's drawn by a voyeuristic drive or feels compelled to be a part of his wife amorous fling. He overhears a part of their conversation that brings his world down. At first blush, it has dramatic impact, but on a more critical view, it stretches credibility a bit much, robbing the story of a degree of drama. Ratings for "Camper" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 (too much narrative) BillyG (appeal to reviewer):8 "The Time of Her Life" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com). Guest review by Jack Beattie. This is a lovely romantic story, and regardless of your approach to life, it has a very happy ending. While much of the plot is fantastic, the reader is gently forced to believe in the events in the lives of Verity, Bill and Hope. Bill meets Verity at a Leap Year dance and they fall for each other. Sadly, Verity has to leave at midnight but she promises to return in eight months. Neither Bill nor the reader is enlightened as to why she stays away, but return she does, on schedule. This time, the couple spends twenty four hours getting to know each other and making gentle love. Alas, once more Verity must leave and Bill is distraught. This time she promises to return in three years and four months at which time she will answer any question Bill might pose. The clever reader will have figured out the time sequence by now and will be speculating about the future of this couple. I didn't figure it out until Bill asked the right questions at the start of Verity's next visit. By the end of the story, the two are deeply in love and have a child and their future will see them together, one way or another. This is a well written story with clever dialogue and an interesting plot. The characters don't really have enough time to develop but we see enough of them to be intrigued. While the story is hard to believe, the reader will like the characters enough to want to go along with the somewhat fantastic plot. The sex in this story is more erotic than pornographic; however, it is so gentle as to not be very arousing. Finally, there are some genuinely amusing bits in this piece that may make the reader laugh out loud. I like this story but it didn't turn me on enough to be compelling. It was truly romantic, a fact noted at times by both characters. It is definitely worth a read but it is not suitable for firing you up for a night of passion. Rating: 8/10 ===================== Reposted Reviews: ===================== * "Anne's Punishment" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22728 Blindfolded and bound, Anne has her orgasm shortly after her partner does. This is bad, because she is not supposed to cum until her Master gives her permission. It is a very intense orgasm, but she knows she must be punished. She has given herself to him, and she will submit to whatever he wants. Jack takes her to a pet shop, where she drinks wine from a dog dish and the Mistress at the pet shop helps Jack punish and train Anne. I keep saying I'm not a bondage fan, and yet people keep asking me to review their bondage and sex slavery stories. Some bondage seems sexy to me; the bondage in this story did not. I simply had trouble figuring out how I could possibly enjoy having someone do to me the things that Jack and his accomplice do to Anne in this story. I suppose the story is well written. I think I got a clear picture of the events the author was trying to describe, and I suspect for someone else who buys into the "pleasures of pain" this story might be a lot more enjoyable. But I think a really good bondage story should make a little more sense even to an outsider like me. Ratings for "Anne's Punishment" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 * "Anne's Revenge" by Tiramisu (Tiramixu@yahoo.com). Guest review by Dave Myers. http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/22898 This is a relatively easygoing domination story that will probably have at least a little 'crossover' appeal to people that might more typically read MF rom stories and avoid stuff like this. Written in a very upbeat mood that belies the underpinnings of submission itself, it describes a woman who is a naive being coached by a man and another woman. The story is a bit misnamed, given that there really isn't any revenge of the 'traditional' D/S sense. Instead, it's pretty much a well-described, highly sensual MFF interlude. The build-up to that point is pretty unusual. The author has taken the tack of writing four separate sections that have incredibly different tones and sentiments toward the tryst. In one, Anne is introspective of where her experiences are leading her. In one section, there is a talky exchange with the 'other woman' ahead of the main event, sort of delineating what is going to happen. The threesome itself is very well done-- better than most-- though doesn't really make much of an effort to highlight or bring out submissive behavior. It's there sometimes, but sort of halfheartedly. This story is hard to categorize for that reason. I think it will succeed for many readers, and may do so for some that might imagine that a story with this title would not be their cup of tea. There are still a few things that could have made it more powerful. The format of sectionizing the text in order to have radically different text styles in each segment makes for a nice literary trick. Unfortunately, the quality of the sections is pretty inconsistent. Some of it works a lot better than the rest (notably- the last section is the best, the dialogue section is overdone). In addition, the relationship between Anne and the male lead is sort of up in the air. Though there is a little introspection into what the future of this relationship holds, and what the characters' motivations are, a lot is left unsaid. It almost screams out to be beefed up in this regard, given that the underlying template for the story is essentially 'MF rom', with just a bit of femdom content. Bottom line- It's better than that Rosie O'Donnell/Dana Delany movie from a few years back (something about Eden in the title- exact name escapes me)... that was *supposed* to be some kind of cheeky way to show that fetish stuff was mainstream after all. In the end, that movie was campy in a corny way. This text, on the other hand, achieves a sort of normalcy in the characters' attitudes and self-actualization that is actually pretty rare. There is still room for this piece and this series to grow. ===================== CELESTIAL WORD STUDY: ===================== Here are some words I saw misused this week: CANON/CANNON A CANNON is a large gun, often associated metaphorically with the male phallus. A CANON is a rule or an official list or some other official text. A CANON can also be a religious dignitary. CREDIBLE/CREDITABLE CREDITABLE means deserving of credit, honor, or esteem. CREDIBLE means worthy of belief. The easy way to tell these words apart is that CREDIBLE is the opposite of INCREDIBLE (unbelievable), whereas CREDITABLE focuses on deserving credit for an accomplishment. INTO/ONTO The word INTO is not always a proper replacement for IN TO, nor is the word ONTO always replacement for ON TO. INTO means "to a place or position; in toward." INTO actually has several more meanings, but the key point is that very often "in" and "to" need to be separated: WRONG: She gave into his demands and agreed to have Sex with him and his ex-girlfriend. RIGHT: She gave in to his demands and agreed to have Sex with him and his ex-girlfriend. ABSOLUTELY SILLY: After he read the marriage manual for two hours, he went INTO see if he could pop his wife's cherry. ONTO means "to a place or position; upon." In other cases "on" and "to" need to be separated. WRONG: He rubbed the oil into her buttocks and then went ONTO her breasts. {This means he mounted her breasts.} RIGHT: He rubbed the oil into her buttocks and then went ON TO her breasts. {This means he continued by rubbing oil into her breasts} WRONG: The foreplay was so exciting that she could hardly waitto move ONTO the real sex. RIGHT: The foreplay was so exciting that she could hardly waitto move ON TO the real sex. WRONG: He bucked up and down so wildly that I was unable to hold onto his cock with my pussy muscles. {"mussels" would be a different error -- or an interesting metaphor} RIGHT: He bucked up and down so wildly that I was unable to hold on to his cock with my pussy muscles. ABSOLUTELY SILLY: He had so much fun fucking his mother that he went ONTO bob the knob with his sister and aunts as well. <end> -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> | | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |<http://www.asstr-mirror.org>, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+