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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Celestial Reviews 374 -- Nov 4, 2000
Date: Wed,  8 Nov 2000 08:10:03 -0500
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Subject: Celestial Reviews 374 -- Nov 4, 2000
From: Celeste801@aol.com
Celestial Reviews 374 --  Nov 4, 2000

Note: It's been a busy week. I've learned that my best bet is to 
"bail out" by just posting what I have, rather than waiting till I 
have a more complete issue. So here it is. 

THIS WEEK'S JOKE:

  "Am I a people?"
  "No. You're a chicken."
  "Do chickens come from people?"
  "No. Chickens come from eggs."
  "Do people come from eggs?"
  "No. People are born."
  "Are eggs born?"
  "No----eggs are laid?"
  "Are people laid?"
  "Some are. Others are chicken."

=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================

"Lunch Hour" by Backrub (semi-public sex) 10, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26993

"Damned if you do..." by silkinn (drunken wife watching) 9, 7, 5
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26981

"Two Out of Three" by Wiseguy (sexual games) 9.5, 9.5, 9.5
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Wiseguy/www/2of3.htm

"Smooth Talking: Susan At The Restaurant" by The Lycanthrope (mind
control)
10, 9, 9
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/lycanthrope/www/talk_susan.html

"Out of This World" by Spiller (Fm fetish) 10, 8.5, 6
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27132
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27206

"Therapy after Surgery" by Red Redman (post-op sex) 8, 8, 6
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27169

"Lightning in the Night" by Ann Douglas (superheroes in love) 9, 8, 8
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/light.htm

"Labors of Claudia " by Shon Richards (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27088

====================
HALLOWEEN WRAP-UP
====================

"Photographs and Memories" by Desdmona (unfulfilled love) 10, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27037

"Hell hath no fury..." by Souvie (revenge) 10, 10, 10
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Souvie/www/fury.html

"One Day A Year" by E.Z. Riter (bewitching sex) 10, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27166

"Halloween Mischief" by One Gallus (geriatric sex) 10, 9.5, 8
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27161

"Things That Go Hump in the Night" by Miles Naismith (incubus sex) 10,
9.5,
9
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27150

====================
REPOSTED REVIEWS:
=====================

* "Hell Hath No Fury" by Satan Penguin (Utopian comic book sex) 10, 9,
9

* "Hell Hath No Fury" by Darkside (transgender) 9, 10, 10

=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================

"Captivated Cock and The Asian Tease" by Story Knight 2000 (friendly
bondage). Myers {No rating}

"Bosom Buddies" by Phil Phantom (incest). Emily: 8, 5, 5
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26922

"Waiting to Receive " by Lane Boyd (holiday sex). Nat:  9, 10, 10
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26566

=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================

"Lunch Hour" by Backrub (Bckrub@aol.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26993

It is good to see this author back in action. Backrub was one of the 
first authors to attract me to this newsgroup several years ago. 

It's difficult to describe what this story is about. One theory is 
that this is a story about a college student masturbating in the 
back of a book store while she listens to two people fucking on the 
other side of the door, one or two feet away from where she has been 
sitting, reading a porn story stashed inside a physics book. Another 
theory is that this is a story about a man and a woman having a pre-
prandial quickie before they go out for lunch together. For reasons 
that I won't disclose here, the story could also be about "Harry 
Potter and the Spurting Cock." Imagine that. 

"There goes a woman with a mission."

The story has some irritating typos and grammar errors; but once 
these are overcome, we have an interesting story of unusual events 
in a very normal environment, observed from the viewpoint of several 
different people --including BookGrrl, about whom I have told you 
nothing. 

Ratings for "Lunch Hour"
Athena (plot & character): 9.5
Venus (technical quality): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Damned if you do..." by silkinn (silkinn@chickmail.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26981

While the husband is working, the wife goes off to a bar with her 
friend. The husband is supposed to pick her up at the end of the 
evening, but he quits early and spies on her while she gets drunk 
and flirts outrageously with a stranger, who eventually fucks her 
under the table. 

Getting really, really drunk is not something that I enjoy. Nor is 
it a major fantasy for me to have a stranger manipulate me for his 
pleasure while my husband looks on. Therefore, it was up to the 
author to convince me that this would be enjoyable. That didn't 
really happen. I suppose this story might have more appeal to people 
who are already sold on the virtues of getting really bombed in a 
noisy room before having sex or who are already convinced that 
watching a spouse get humped must certainly be a lot of fun; but a 
lot of this went right past me. 

Ratings for "Damned if you do..."
Athena (plot & character): 9
Venus (technical quality): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5

"Two Out of Three" by Wiseguy.
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Wiseguy/www/2of3.htm

When our narrator and Audrey argue over something, they solve the 
problem interactively --  not by discussing the matter and reasoning 
about it, but rather by a form of wrestling. Essentially, they get 
down and dirty, and whoever makes the other person have an orgasm 
gets one point. The first person to acquire two points gets the 
issue settled in his/her way. 

It's a very sexy strategy, and it has a tendency to generate good 
losers. Imagine that. 

Ratings for "Two Out of Three"
Athena (plot & character): 9.5
Venus (technical quality): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"Smooth Talking: Susan at The Restaurant" by The Lycanthrope
(lycanthrope@WriterMail.com).
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/lycanthrope/www/talk_susan.html

Our narrator (Jeff) finds an interesting waitress in the restaurant, 
over-tips her to get her interest, and then seduces her through mind 
control techniques. 

Jeff uses the "pleasure touch" technique. Basically, Jeff gets Susan 
real comfortable and hypnotizes her by talking to her, and then he 
uses his fingers and other parts of his skin to make her feel really 
good. I can think of worse ways to be wrongfully manipulated. 

Jeff's approach to mind control is relatively non-manipulative, and 
I like that. All he does is make Susan fell really, really good; and 
that makes her feel really, really appreciative. The rest is up to 
her. This is really a very nice story. 

Ratings for "Smooth Talking"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Out of This World" by Spiller (xxspillerxx@my-deja.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27132
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27206

The husband and wife go to a party. He's the designated driver; and 
so while she gets horny in the back of the camper, he drives the 
vehicle. Eventually he joins her, and they exchange fantasies and 
kinky sex. In the course of these events, she promises to become his 
sex slave forever, if only he will supply her with an opportunity 
for sex with a fifteen-year-old boy. 

My problem with the story was its main fetish. I just can't get high 
on the thought of being fucked by a 15-year-old kid with a tiny 
dick, even if he is Danish, and even if I imagine the child to be my 
own son. I guess maybe I just am the victim of too many Victorian 
taboos or the beneficiary of a larger cock. However, I found that if 
I approached the story as humor, then the very silliness of the idea 
salvaged some value for the story. 

The story is clearly written, and I suppose if you share this 
fetish, you might enjoy this story. 

The author says that it's legal to have sex with 15-year-old boys in 
Denmark. I'm not sure how I would verify that. My online almanac 
didn't have an entry on that topic, and writing to the Danish 
Ministry of Education just didn't seem proper. 

Ratings "Out of This World"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 8.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Therapy after Surgery" by Red Redman (redman@seductive.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27169

The woman has had a hysterectomy, and her husband is gently trying 
to help her get back in the groove afterwards. They don't have 
active sex; they just share fantasies. My problem with personal 
preference for this story was that the fantasies were more of a 
turn-off than a turn-on to me. 

In addition, this author has displayed better writing style in other 
stories. For example, in the present case, the verb tenses are 
frequently and irritably confusing. 

Ratings "Therapy after Surgery"
Athena (plot & character): 8
Venus (technical quality): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Lightning in the Night" by Ann Douglas (ann_douglas@hotmail.com).
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/light.htm

Mary Bromfield  and Linda Danvers meet when they are interviewing 
for a television journalist job that goes to another applicant. 
Unbeknownst to Mary, Linda is actually Kara Zor-El, better known as 
Supergirl, a woman of great beauty and strength, who loves dolphins. 

Shortly after our story begins, the Maid of Might first saves San 
Pablo from destruction and then mentally relives her sexual 
relationships and seeks counseling from Batgirl before a dinner date 
with her new friend, whom she discovers to be Mary Marvel, a wench 
whose power is equal to Supergirl's. They get along just fine. In 
fact, they even make love. 

In spite of what I found to be excessive attention to comic-book 
details, this is a good story. 

Ratings "Lightning in the Night"
Athena (plot & character): 9
Venus (technical quality): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Labors of Claudia " by Shon Richards (lordshon@aol.com).

The woman removes --  one by one --  each of her lover's senses from 
the act of lovemaking. First she blindfolds him, then she cuts off 
his sense of smell, etc; and he still loves her, because his love 
for her is not based on any single feature or set of features but 
rather on her whole personality. 

The story isn't exactly stroke material, nor does it have an 
exciting plot; but it drives home a nice point simply and nicely. 

Ratings "Lightning in the Night"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

====================
HALLOWEEN WRAP-UP
====================

Here are a final few Halloween stories that I obtained too late for 
last week's Special Issue: 

"Photographs and Memories" by Desdmona.
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27037

Here we have a tale of unfulfilled love. The two young people were 
in love, but they never consummated it. After they drifted apart, he 
died, with their love still unconsummated. Their love still exists 
in photographs and in dreams and in memories; and some of those 
memories are vivid recollections of the fulfillment of that 
unconsummated love. 

This is a really beautiful, sentimental, romantic story. I guess 
someone could argue that there's not much sex in it; but that really 
depends on what you mean by sex. 

Ratings for "Photographs and Memories"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Hell hath no fury..." by Souvie.
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Souvie/www/fury.html

The full aphorism is, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." 
Cassandra is a paleontologist away at a dig in Greece. Her husband 
is at home, scorning her by fucking the lewd and lascivious Gina. By 
incredible coincidence, Cassandra discovers an incantation that 
enables her to evoke the spirit of Megaera, who is one of the 
Erinyes, who are known in Roman mythology as the Furies.  Hence the 
title, and hence her husband's ass is grass. 

This is a sexy story with a coherent plot and accurate allusions to 
classical mythology. It's the sort of thing that warms my scholarly 
heart. 

There are two other stories with this same title, both of them 
almost as good as this one. I'll repost the reviews and links. 

Ratings for "Hell hath no fury..."
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"One Day A Year" by E.Z. Riter (ezriter@pdq.net).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27166

I know in a recent review I said that real witches behaved exactly 
the way the author described them in that story. Well, I lied. Real 
witches behave exactly the way the author describes them in THIS 
story. Or maybe they behave exactly the way the authors describe 
them in BOTH stories. How should I know? The witches whom I actually 
know don't even claim any powers more magical than those claimed by 
the nuns who taught me in elementary school. 

The witches in this story are delightfully depraved. I like that in 
a witch. 

Normally, I go to great lengths to avoid giving away the ending, 
because that would usually ruin the story for my readers. However, 
in the present case, I think I can simply give you the ending 
without any of the rest of the story. Basically, the narrator gets 
to have two eager and loving women all the time throughout his life 
in exchange for being under witches' spells on Halloween. That's not 
really a bad deal.  After all, Halloween's only one day a year. And 
the spells are good spells --  if you look at them in the right way. 

Ratings for "One Day A Year"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Things That Go Hump in the Night" by Miles Naismith
(mnaismith@hotmail.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27150

In order to accommodate his adolescent rape fantasy, the woman 
agrees to let her husband ravish her, disguised as an intruding 
burglar on Halloween night. Unfortunately, he fails to show up, but 
the show goes on without him. 

At the end of the story is an interesting note by Lisala, in which 
she discusses the history of incubi in popular culture. 

It's a nice combination.

Ratings for "Things That Go Hump in the Night"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Halloween Mischief" by One Gallus (onegallus@yahoo.com).
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/27161

It really is difficult to predict what will show up in a Halloween 
sex story. Were I not already convinced of that fact, this story 
would have supplied the proof. It's about a "young" man who visits 
his elderly mother in the nursing home, where her roommate develops 
a fondness for him and he feels pressured to fulfill her sexual 
needs. As I read the story, I found myself muttering, "This crap is 
disgusting." Then there was an interesting twist at the end, and I 
said to myself, "What the hell! It's a Halloween story." 

This is not a sexy story. It belongs more in the Odd Sex Story 
category. 

Ratings for "Halloween Mischief"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"The Trick and the Treat" by T.S. Fesseln (fesseln1@aol.com).

This story has numerous grammatical gaffes that should have been 
corrected, and there are gaps in the plot that keep it from making 
perfect sense. Combine that with the fact that I usually don't enjoy 
bondage stories, and the Celestial rating of "7" for this story 
should tell you that it has considerable potential. 

The basic plot is that the husband surprises the wife at the 
Halloween party by adding handcuffs and turning the evening into a 
bondage game. The bondage is playful and sexy, and with a little 
work this could turn into a really good story. 

Ratings for "The Trick and the Treat"
Athena (plot & character): 7
Venus (technical quality): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

====================
GUEST REVIEWS:
=====================

"Captivated Cock and The Asian Tease" by Story Knight 2000 (
Story_Knight@hotmail.com). Guest review by Dave Myers.

This vignette is well told, but marred by a few grammatical/spelling 
errors and overuse of some cliches. This is a scene that should 
appeal even to those without an interest in bondage, I would think, 
because there is no torture, and the emphasis is on Tease and not 
Captive/Captivated. 

A man who meets a tease in a club gets her alone only to be tied up 
himself, and pleasured in a very calculated way. It's all pretty 
simple, and that's what's good about it- there's not much wasted 
space in the story. I like that the dialogue is kept minimal, and 
we're not forced to worry about exactly what transitional events 
took place between the point of pick-up line and the gag winding up 
in his mouth. In a story like this, I'm glad for the leap of faith, 
because it'd spoil some of the mystery otherwise. 

If it could be improved, I'd suggest (after cleaning up the errors) 
removing some of the cliche material, especially near the beginning, 
in the club. The image the author has of this nymph is caught in his 
mind as an all-too-standard pin-up poster picture of an Asian club-
tease. She's a little too cardboard-cutout because of it. 

{No rating --  Because the reviewer prefers not to give numerical
ratings.}

"Bosom Buddies" by: Phil Phantom.
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26922

Take (a) one 15-year-old son who's an erection on legs. Take (b) one 
mum who's also a hot babe despite (gasp) being middle-aged. Find a 
plot device that inserts (a) into (b), repeatedly. Then declare that 
everyone lived happily ever after. 

Well, it's a pretty simple recipe, but a never-endingly popular one. 
Obviously the brew that mixes up motherly familial love with sexual 
love, so you get a bargain two loves for the price of one, is 
irresistible. So the main trick to bring life to this micro-genre is 
the plot device where boy gets to mount mum. Will it be the bedroom 
door left open? Will it be getting drunk and leaving yourself 
partially disrobed and available for tampering? Well, refreshingly, 
this story passing up on the trite domestic opportunities for 
illicit intimacy, and drives itself into a nastier neighbourhood of 
gang rape and mum-son humiliation. Which is good. But the chance to 
go at break-neck speed through the twisting bends of sexual cruelty 
is sadly passed up. You never have any sense of danger, or 
humiliation, or pain or indeed any major emotion. Of course, this is 
because the characters are merely vehicles for carrying genitals 
around: mum is 36DD, son is 7", the three rapists are black men 
with, rather unusually, huge cocks. No one has a name, except for 
the son. (When will writers realise that no major erotic character 
can ever be called Greg.) Which is all a great pity, because the 
set-up was there to take you on an extreme sexual adventure. But in 
the end, the "nasty" wasn't evil enough, and the "nice" wasn't 
tender enough. And the opportunities for humiliation and depravity, 
such as a son urinating in his mother's mouth, are pissed away in a 
throwaway line with no attempt to linger on the loving details and 
the interior thoughts that could have brought the whole thing to 
life. 

Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Emily (appeal to reviewer): 5

"Waiting to Receive" by Lane Boyd (laneboyd@newsguy.com)
(http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2000/26566)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/26566

I wonder what it is about Queensland that it produces all these 
talented writers.  Maybe it's something in the water.  If "Waiting 
to Receive" had come my way without author attribution I would have 
said that it was a DrSpin story.  In case you're wondering, that 
means it's good. 

Jonathon and Marjory MacArthur are holidaying away from Sleet City 
in Northern Queensland.  Jonathon strongly fancies Anna Kournikova 
and thinks that getting back in touch with each other means having a 
lot more sex than usual, preferably outdoors.  Marjory thinks that a 
holiday is for relaxing by the pool and doing crosswords. That is to 
say, he's a man and she's a woman, and they've been married for 
twenty years. Luckily for both of them, the acne-ridden girl with 
braces who is running the resort newsagent stall during her bad hair 
year shows signs of wanting a knock-up. Take it from there. 

When reading "Waiting to Receive" I felt impelled to say, "I want to 
draw your attention to the emergence of a new writer at the upper 
end of the spectrum". Afraid that saying so might insult a well-
established writer whom I ought to know already, I did some homework 
at ASSTR to see what else Lane Boyd has offered. I found no web-site 
or ftp site and only one earlier story that appeared on ASSM on 15th 
September 2000. This is "The Anti-Climax --  a first story by Lane 
Boyd" 
(http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2000/26347).

It's an off-the-wall prostitute humour story that got 9, 9, 9 from 
Celeste Herself in Celestial Reviews 368 of 23rd September 2000 

(http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2000/26495).
Reassured, I now say, "I want to draw your attention to the 
emergence of a new writer at the upper end of the spectrum." 

Lane Boyd is a mature writer who knows more than a thing or two 
about men and women, and how they think and feel and act, and 
deploys this knowledge in a gently sardonic fashion that is right up 
my alley, even unto obeying the "leave 'em wanting more" rule. There 
is plot, there are fully-developed, well-written three-dimensional, 
real characters.  Oh, yes.  And sex. 

If I had edited this piece I would have said that it went through 
one cycle too few in the proofing and editing.  That is to say, the 
technical quality is pretty good but could be better. Not-quite-
good-enough is not good enough for writers of this calibre.  There 
are a few capitalisation and punctuation quibbles that might have 
been easily sorted out, there is a cliched climb up the corporate 
ladder and there were a few infelicities such as Marjory's muscular 
breasts and Anna's beautifully neat vagina. 

I had to think harder than I wanted in the category of Australian 
tennis stars of yesteryear.  Homework suggests that Bewdy Newk is 
now running a tennis ranch cum conference centre cum Waltzing 
Matilda Dining Room in--would you believe?--Texas.  I bet you didn't 
know that either.  The juxtaposition of Venus Williams and the 
goddess Venus didn't quite come off.  And regular readers of ASSM 
are inevitably distracted by wondering what a Rebound Ace surface 
might be. Sorry, Lane: just one of those things.  Liked the story, 
though.  Recommended. 

Ratings for "Waiting to Receive"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Nat (appeal to reviewer): 10

====================
REPOSTED REVIEWS:
=====================

* "Hell Hath No Fury" by Satan Penguin
(spenguin@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca).

Shakespeare based most of his plays on the tales and legends with 
which his audiences were already familiar.  To accomplish this, he 
must have had a prodigious knowledge of the classics and of folk 
legends.  The present author likewise bases this story on 
information with which he expects his audience to be familiar.  In 
other words, he displays a prodigious knowledge of the Archie series 
of comic books and newspaper cartoons. 

Stan, the protagonist of this story, comes from a planet called 
Elad-Revir, H'trae.  This planet is a close parallel to earth, and 
the city is closely parallel to Riverdale, the home of Archie, 
Veronica, Betty, Jughead, and their comic book friends.  If you 
haven't made the association yet, you may want to read Elad-Revir, 
H'trae backwards and see if you can notice its relationship to 
Riverdale, Earth.  If you can see no connection, you are not smart 
enough to read this story. 

This could be described as a Utopian --  or anti-Utopian --  story.  
It combines comic book characters with a focus on adolescent sex to 
deal with concepts that Orwell dealt with in "1984 "and Skinner 
dealt with in "Walden II": what is the best way to run a perfect 
society --  to get individuals to contribute willingly to the good 
of the greater society?  Stan is the quintessential Renaissance man, 
modern scientist and engineer, and sexual aficionado all rolled up 
into one.  He's almost too good to be true- which is OK, because, 
after all, this is a comic book episode. 

As I neared the completion of Chapter IV (which is all there is 
right now), I paused and pondered the title.  I had assumed it was 
excerpted from the expression "Health hath no fury like a woman 
scorned."  But no woman had been scorned, and the prospects for 
scorning were low.  Maybe the title was a simple description of the 
lack of overt hostility in hell.   The Church Lady would certainly 
notice that Stan himself was one vowel short of Satan; could that be 
relevant? 

I really don't know where the story is going. There are numerous 
unresolved subplots --  none of which have any apparent relation to 
hell or its fury. Reggie has been plotting to seize a share of 
Stan's wealth.  One of the sex slaves is developing a genuine (non-
slavelike) attraction for Stan. Sabrina is trying to integrate her 
witch essence with her human existence.  Veronica and Betty have 
discovered the joys of hedonistic sex with each other and with other 
lovely ladies.  All the members of the gang (especially the genius 
Dilbert) have started getting in a little over their heads with sex 
with sex; and who knows what to make of the lovely ladies whom Stan 
has so adeptly trained to service himself and his friends?  And 
there's much more.  I am impressed with the overall quality of the 
writing and with the attempt to merge the consistent Archie story 
line with more complex sexual idea, but I am also a bit disappointed 
that I have read this far and don't yet know where the story is 
going.  I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens next. Its 
sort of like reading the funny pages! 

Ratings for "Hell Hath No Fury"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Hell Hath No Fury" (a complete, three part novel, long), by Darkside.
(Darkside@nym.alias.net).
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Darkside/furybook1.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Darkside/furybook2.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Darkside/furybook3.txt

{The following guest review of Part One was written by Green Onions, 
who has posted several stories on this newsgroup.  (This review was 
posted in Celestial Reviews 196, July 5 1997)  See Vickie Tern below 
for how Part One relates to the whole novel as finally completed.} 

* "Hell Hath No Fury" [novella] by Darkside. A driver has a flat 
tire on a lonely road. Spare to change? Sorry, none in the trunk. 
Night falls on the man without a plan. 

The stars blink brightly in the clear black sky as his chances of 
surviving begin to flicker out. Snow appears. Lost and alone, he 
waits for the end of his life in the white darkness. 

And yet when all optimism seems to have faded into the freezing 
wilderness there emerges (from behind a hidden chorus of weeping 
violins) a vision of hope that flies gracefully across the horizon 
of his dimming consciousness, singing its mystical song, ready to 
deftly snatch the hapless wayfarer from the drooling unflossed Jaws 
of Death. 

Is it a bird? A plane? An optical illusion? No--it's Florence 
Nightingale: _after_ she graduated from medical school. 

And so not a moment too soon is the Grim Reaper's task interrupted 
by the talents of a skilled, sensitive, tall, brilliant, blue-eyed, 
lithe busty rich young female physician with near-perfect abs. 

She first asks the nurse to check his insurance. Then she saves his 
life. 

And so the dream continues. They fall for each other; he proposes to 
her. Their engagement progresses like clockwork to the final misty 
moment as family, friends, and myriad onlookers gather to witness 
the anticipated instant when he will place the golden ring of their 
sacred unity upon her willing finger. 

It seems that all is right with the world. Surely they will love out 
their lives in an era of peace, happiness, hot sex, low taxes, and 
white picket fences. 

Well, as one of Douglas Adam's characters once said in _The 
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_: "Sorry, wrong universe!" 

As the sun beats down on the expectant crowd he explains that he 
does not love her and cannot marry her. Her parents are glaring 
hatefully, she is sobbing pitifully and he is shrugging 
philosophically. Better luck next time. 

Or better sense, perhaps. Because the Doctor was a dream and he 
needs someone real. Not a vision but a spouse. Not a fantasy, but 
flesh and soul. And after two long years he finds and marries her 
with little hesitation. The second time is indeed the charm--even if 
her stomach isn't quite as flat, she is still young and attractive, 
affectionate, smart, tall and slim. 

But what of his first love, of the brilliant blue-eyed shapely 
svelte angel of the steel table who had saved his life, savored his 
love, and was jilted--indeed brutally humiliated--in front of her 
friends and family? 

Hell, if you thought biblical characters tend to suffer more than 
others for spurning the affections of the smooth-faced gender, read 
this story and think again! 

And what could be a more fitting punishment for an ungrateful 
insensitive, thoughtless and callously cruel male jerk than to be 
forced to suffer the indignities of _becoming_ a woman? His fate 
will not be limited to the experience of being in a female body, but 
will also include the transformation of his mind. 

Yes, She will have her way with him. She will make his dream into 
her nightmare. And in more than one respect. 

This is not an ordinary TG (trans-gender) piece, nor is it a classic 
sex story or a typical tale of revenge, mystery--yes there is a 
murder--cumuppance (gee, did I misspell that?), or even an ironic, 
slightly humorous psychological sci-fi erotic thriller. It's all of 
those bound together with a tight plot and topped off with a 
tempting smorgasbord of diverse sexual blandishments. 

In case you thought I might be blowing my load prematurely, I should 
also point out that this piece could be even better if the author 
diverged from some typical tendencies of erotica and romance writers 
(including most a.s.s. contributors). For starters I might 
occasionally prefer to see characters in longer stories developed 
with a third dimension--the sorts of accents, nuances, habits, 
hobbies, mannerisms, peculiarities and idiosyncrasies that we 
typically observe in real people. Such details can often be worked 
into plots with little effort. 

While Darkside's prose is better than most, I also sometimes wish 
a.s.s. writers would pause more often to allow their readers to 
"smell the roses" (or hear the cadences) of their phrases and the 
rhythm of their sentences. Words can do more than convey 
information. 

And although I am often at odds with the well-worshipped deity who 
is hosting this review, she and I agree on one thing: maybe there is 
room for protagonists whose bodies are not quite so heavenly. If one 
goal of erotica is to help us appreciate love and sexuality, then 
perhaps a.s.s. authors could provide us with a few (especially 
female) characters now and then who just happen to fall short of 
certain popular physical ideals. 

Yet I quibble . . . this is an _excellent_ novella. Read it.

Venus (plot & character): 10
Athena (technical quality): 10
Green Onions (appeal to reviewer): 10

<end>

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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