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From: nexuswilson@nightmail.com
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} REVIEW - NEXUSWILSON 2
Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 03:10:06 -0400
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ckought69@hotmail.com
All the reviews in this file may be used by the authors, their webmasters or other
agents in order to promote the relevant story provided that the credit is given to
me using the 4 lines at the end of this file.
Please don't slate the spelling, I just chuck these together and mail them off to the
writers, who nearly all reply 'cos no-one else does. Stories are for reading
pleasure so it matters. These are for info and discussion so it doesn't, and I've
got better things to do than spell checking this stuff. If you find mistakes in my
stories, that's a different matter!
The Giving and the Taking (F/M spank enema strap-on)
From: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/rick_oh/www/
rick_oh@whiteice.com
Massive overuse of names in this story. Lots need replacing with he, she, etc.
I was heartily sick of Vance and Colleen by the third para due to their names being
so over-used. The writer uses a style usually associated with writing reports. I
felt like I should be learning how a series of business conferences went rather than
private sexual acts. The ultra-serious style does not match the unbelievability of
the characters & d/s story line. I think the only person who might like this would
be one who liked the idea of systematic subjugation and removal of male will as a
power thing, rather than for sexual pleasure. You get the feeling that Colleens
orgasm is just added to qualify it as a sex story.
Overall great writing and well worth continuing.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment **
Style **
Spelling/Grammar ******
Storyline *****
Originality *******
Wood Factor *
My Story by Sharmila Sanyal
From: anu_g42@hotmail.com
A nice, well written story of lesbian initiation in India. Although there are a few
spelling errors this is a beautifully written opening to what is presumably intended
to go to be a story of the lady's life. One has to assume that she has gone on to a
much better school than her humble beginnings might indicate. The description of her
first sex acts is stunningly realistic and believable. It is rare for a story of so
little sexual variety to be so erotic but this one manages it in spades.
""Not till tonight, I guess..." She said , "and I don't think "Moni-di" is
what you want to call me after last night", she added with a wink and a
smile!
The explanation of this little transition in addressing could hardly be a
part of this narrative."*** as so much is made of this in the story, I rather think
it should be! I'm sure it will turn out to be quite mundane, but I'm dying to know!
Overall great writing and well worth continuing.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ********
Style *********
Spelling/Grammar *******
Storyline ***
Originality ***
Wood Factor *********
Puta 1&2 (Mf, Ff, group, teen, rape, Mdom, sm, bd, ws, tort, fist, best,
violent)
From: semenseeker00@hotmail.com
A man tries to write in the style of a semi-illiterate mexican 15 year old who
barely speaks english and fails to pull it off! However it must be said that he
set himself a hell of a challenge and does much better than some other attempts at
a similar thing that I've seen. Personally I have to wipe all references to her age
and enslavement from my mind but having done that it manages to be as erotic as hell!
If the writer could crack the problem of making the style believable this would be a
classic of its genre!
Overall, Lots of really imaginative action and a totally way out, yet believable,
scenario make this a superb stroke with loads of potential to expand.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *******
Style *****
Spelling/Grammar ****
Storyline ******
Originality *******
Wood Factor *********
The Affair Begins (M/F)
From: pkesales@singate.com
www.sinstory.com
This writer is very accomplished and could write professionally, on the technical
side, but the story itself is quite bland, as is the sex.
It was rather like a romance novel but with full sex.
It is written so nicely though!
Overall, one for the ladies or arty types.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ******
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar **********
Storyline *****
Originality ***
Wood Factor ****
Janene's Wishes
From: jrparz@hotmail.com
The writer goes to great lengths to grant the girl 3 wishes on the way to turning
her into a lesbian bimbo. You can't help wondering why he didn't just do it, seeing
as that was plainly what he wanted to do all along, and she couldn't have stopped
him anyway. The writers relationship with Lady Ashley is rather obscure, as is the
reason for and extent of his powers. It is written nicely though!
Overall a rather unusual story that seems rather pointless.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *****
Style *******
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline ****
Originality *******
Wood Factor ******
Danielle 1&2
From: not known
This story suffers a complete lack of paragraphing and having all the speech written
formally e.g. we have instead of we've, which makes it quite a tedious read. The
story consists of a huge non-sexual build up ending in 2 paras where he discovers that
she is the best cock sucker ever born and a virgin as well! A most unlikely
combination! Then he marries her 4 years later after being promoted once a year!
All the worry about having sex with a minor seems rather out of place as she is almost
18. One can only guess that the writer lives in some weird repressive place in the
USA.
Overall it gives the impression that the writer was planning more but got bored and
decided to finish it off in a hurry.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ***
Style *****
Spelling/Grammar *****
Storyline *****
Originality ***
Wood Factor ***
BROOKE'S EMBARRASSING EXAM
From: redmullet@hotmail.com
This story is written as if by a 3rd party, but giving the insight of Brooke, the
heroine, as she confronts her embarrassment. You get the feeling that she is
writing the tale at a later date, but then the writer spoils it somewhat by using
words like mounds (breasts) that you feel a woman would never use.
"Brooke did so and found this to be a very uncompromising position. Her tits
were pressed all the way up in the air, her nipples jutting up toward the
ceiling":-Can tits ever press thier way upwards?
she could her him snapping on a set of plastic gloves:-error
The embarrassment is heaped on in piles (something we discover Brooke does not
suffer!), even to the extent where realism is dispensed with unfortunately. A
team of interns to sit in would be just as good if she had been asked, and the door
to the exam room opening to show her to the waiting room is just ridiculous and adds
so little. However the final exam sequence makes it all worthwhile as the writer
takes both Brooke and the reader to the grand finale. He asks "The end?". Yes,
absolutely, adding more would spoil it.
Overall one of the best examples of this common storyline with scope for even
more improvement.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *******
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline *****
Originality ***
Wood Factor *******
Swingers
From: Kristen078@Hotmail.com
A nice, well written story examining a womans feelings as she enters the world of
swinging with the couple next door. The sex is great, with a superb little MM bit
chucked in to really get it just that little bit out of the ordinary. This is
definately one of Kristens better efforts although the way the characters meet is a
little bit suspect. By the end I wished I'd made the effort and gone to her site
to read the prequel first.
Overall, very nice and worth continuing.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ******
Style *******
Spelling/Grammar *********
Storyline *****
Originality ******
Wood Factor ********
E-MAIL MESSAGE
From: otzchiim@aol.com
A nice, well written story with minimal plot and only one interesting idea, that of
writing a story in the form of an e-mail supposedly recieved from an old lover.
Does anyone really send mails like this to people they've not seen for so long? One
is tempted to think it's just wish fullfillment on the part of the author, but who
knows? I'd certainly be interested in a re-match after recieving such a mail! Very
nicely written though, perhaps it will give some ladies the idea and make someones
day!
Overall great writing style and about as good as it could get, given the plot
restrictions.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ****
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar *********
Storyline ***
Originality ******
Wood Factor *****
Marilyn, A Special Female (ir,tg/f,oral,cons,schoolgirl)
From: Iluminati99@netzero.net
A nice, well written story but with minimal plot. Unfortunately the locker room setting
is totally implausible. Marilyns surprise recieves a big build up but Mandy appears
totally unsurprised by it. I feel the only way this story line can work is with a fairly
major plot change.
Overall great writing style but a story line with massive scope for improvement.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ****
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar *********
Storyline ***
Originality ****
Wood Factor *****
Bonnie's First Bet, Second Bet and 1st coupon
From: TBERRR1@aol.com
3 stories, obviously with more to come, and most welcome they will be too. The
opening of the first story needs a slight re-write I feel to achieve total
believability, but after that it all rolls quite freely. Although the story line
is totally predictable and has little more substance than your average 'stroke' it
is the style and the way it is written that make this so good, the sex content being
secondary. Each story is written to stand alone so there is a bit of repetition at
the start of the second and third but it is quite well done and not too obtrusive.
The female charcter gives a perfect combination of reluctance and compliance and
you can almost imagine yourself there in the circle when the first coupon is cashed
in!
Overall a fantastic series of stories on female semi-forced exhibitionism.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *********
Style *********
Spelling/Grammar *********
Storyline ****
Originality *****
Wood Factor ******
{ASSM} Miss Daphne makes a deal (MF, MF/F, anal, nc, office slut)
From: terri_madison@hotmail.com
An exceptional office slut story with a brilliant last line that really converts the
whole thing from pure stroke to literature at a blow. Great writing style gives this
a total fantasy feel, ideal for this genre, expecially with nc content. One of the
few stories not ruined by large quantities of successive capital letters!
Yet another top story to add to the overall ultra high quality of this review period.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *********
Style *********
Spelling/Grammar *********
Storyline *******
Originality *****
Wood Factor ********
This review is by nexuswilson@hotmail.com
if you would like a free read, or the chance to get your own back, then
the reviewers stories are on his site at
www.pornoz.com/alterotica
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