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From: "Krystoff Vagabond" <kvagabond@lycos.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} Felicia: A Love Story (MF, romance)
Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2000 21:10:02 -0400
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The following story contains some explicit sexual material. Though not
blatantly pornographic, reader discretion is advised. Were this a movie,
it would probably gain an R rating. This story was written as an
exploration of character and while it might be considered erotic, the
intent was to delve into the minds of the characters rather than to
sexually arouse the reader. If you are looking for that you should look
elsewhere. However, if you are offended by sexuality, you should look
somewhere else as well.
This story is Copyright 2000, Krystoff Vagabond. It may be freely
redistributed as long as it remains completely intact and unmodified
(including these headers). I welcome comments and criticism. Please send
any thoughts you have on the story to kvagabond@mailcity.com
You may find other stories of mine at:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www
Take a look and tell me what you think.
-Krystoff
---------------------------------------------------
Felicia: A Love Story
After all these years, I still come back here. After all this time, I
still return once a year, and I will until the day I die. Every year, the
same day. September 17th, the most important day of my life.
I still remember the first time I walked into this bar. I was a young
man then, but in all these years its still the same. It's funny looking
back and thinking about yourself when you were young. It's funny to think
of yourself in your twenties. So alive. So vital. So full of hope. I
was a young man then and I was on top of the world. I look back now and I
realize that I had not yet begun to live. The things that mattered so much
then seem to mean so little now.
It was the first time I had been in St. Louis. I was there on
business. It was my first meeting with the Williams and Company people.
The most important thing in my life then was to get that contract signed.
And I knew I was going to get it signed. I could feel it in my toes. I
was only twentyseven then. I had only been in business for myself for just
over a year and the Williams and Company contract was the biggest that I
had seen in that time. I was so prepared. I had researched the company
for nearly two months before I ever even contacted them. I had spent three
weeks preparing that contract. I had rehearsed my introduction thousands
of times on the train to St. Louis. "Hello Mr. Williams. So nice to
meet you, sir." "Hello Mr. Williams. I am very much looking forward to
doing business with you." "Hello, Mr. Williams. I can't wait to show you
how my services can increase your profits." I was so prepared. I was so
ready to take on the world. Back then, Williams and Company was the most
important thing there was in the world to me. Today, "Williams" is just a
name. I couldn't even tell you what they did.
Felicia isn't a name. It's so much more. It's music. It's poetry.
It's the very definition of beauty. Nothing on earth could have prepared
me for the first moment I saw her. There were no words I could have
rehearsed. There was no paperwork I could have filed. There were no
reports that could have debriefed me. Nothing in my twenty-seven years had
prepared me for that moment. The moment she stole my breath away. I
haven't regained it since.
I 'd been travelling cheaply to keep my expenses down. The small motel
I was staying in didn't have its own bar so I had gone across the street to
get a drink. I so thought I needed one. Some naive part of me had
honestly believed that I'd sell Mr. Williams on the retainer in just a few
hours at that first meeting, and it was no small disappointment when I
didn't. I was crushed. Part of me thought I was doomed that my entire
operation was going to fold, but I knew all I needed was a scotch to put me
back on my feet. That's all I thought I needed. But I was so wrong.
That moment. The first moment that I learned what beauty meant. That
image will be burned in my mind forever. Five tiny little fingers. The
most perfect fingers that god had ever created wrapped around a small
cocktail glass. That's all I saw at first. Not breasts. Not legs. Not
eyes. Not even a smile. Just five little fingers wrapped around a glass.
That was all I needed. Ten seconds earlier I would sworn to God Almighty
himself that there was no such thing as love at first sight. Forty-seven
years later and I can tell you that there is really no other kind.
I didn't talk to her at first. I know it sounds silly, but for the
longest time, I just sat there in my booth, watching her sip that
strawberry daiquiri. It really never occurred to me to approach her. The
moment was just too perfect. I wanted it to last forever. She was like a
beautiful painting. A graceful ballet. I would sooner have died than
interrupt the performance. I would have laid down my life before I marred
that image.
I didn't die, and the moment didn't last forever. I honestly don't know
how long it lasted. It was probably several minutes. In my mind, I
remember it being days. Everything else had faded away.
Who made the first move? I don't remember approaching her; I don't
remember her walking over to me. I don't remember what we spoke about.
What I do remember is her voice. Soft as goose down. Sweet as nectar. I
remember being there for hours as I listened to her talk. Listening to her
voice. Just loving to hear her speak. That night, I thought that I knew
everything there was to know about Felicia Martinez, but for the
forty-three years that followed, I don't think there was a single day that
I didn't learn something new.
Forty-three years. They seem like ten seconds compared to the four that
I have been through since. But then there are nights like tonight where I
think back and remember, and each second seems to last an eternity.
I'm back at the motel and I open the door to my room. Room 317. Our
room. A bed the size of the one that I slept in when I was a child.
Wallpaper that faded and turned yellow decades ago. Two chairs and a table
that do not match. I see the crack in one of the tiny windows that hasn't
been repaired in the two years since I first noticed it. Tonight, as it
has been every September 17th for the past forty-seven years, this room is
the penthouse suite.
I close my eyes and I'm twenty-seven years old, a young man with the
most beautiful girl I have ever seen by my side. I lead her into the small
room and take her coat. She looks around nervously as I watch her. "Don't
worry," I say, a little unsure of myself. She smiles that crooked little
smile that I have always loved and tells me she's not worried at all. I
know she is because I am too.
I kiss her bare white shoulder very gently as I slide the strap of her
summer dress down. I feel her quiver at the touch of my breath as she
releases a small sigh. Again I reassure her that everything will be all
right as I take those small perfect fingers in my hand. She squeezes and I
squeeze back. I find her lips with mine and we engage in our first kiss.
My eyes close and I imagine that we are falling together through the
clouds. Hand in hand a smile on both our faces, falling or soaring, like
eagles; I'm not sure which. But in the sky, the only people alive. This
moment forever.
We touch down and I open my eyes to find us lying side by side. She
opens her eyes when I pull away my lips. Our bodies entwined in scandalous
fashion, improper for a couple not yet married. Ten times so for one who
only met hours ago. I notice my hand upon her breast and issue my apology
as I draw it away. "It's okay," she whispers to me as she tightens her
grip behind my neck.
"But," I try to protest once more.
"Shhh7 it's okay," Felicia whispers again as she silences me with
another kiss.
I've seen a naked woman before. I was seventeen and Jimmy. Jimmy. I
can't remember his last name. Jimmy and I went to the peep show after
school. I remember being nervous. I remember being almost frightened. I
remember Jimmy laughing at me when my excitement got the better of me and I
ejaculated in my trousers. I remember my confession to Father Delgado
barely an hour later. I remember my apologies and my prayers to God for
forgiveness.
But here and now. Fornication. Premarital sin. And I know the Lord
cannot disapprove. Never had anything in my life felt so right as holding
Felicia's head against my chest. She sits up and those tiny perfect
fingers slowly fumble with each button on the front of her dress. I have
no words. I dare not even breathe. She takes one last look into my eyes
as I try to tell her she doesn't have to do this. She closes her eyes and
our gaze is broken as she pulls her dress down and exposes her breasts.
"It's okay, It's okay" she keeps telling me. Reassuring me that the
pain is not too bad. Comforting me the way that I should be comforting
her. "It's okay," she says as I press our bodies together. Her face
betrays her pain. I brush her cheek and lift away a tear. "I love you,
Felicia" I say for the very first time, and I feel her fingers run through
the back of my hair as we make love till morning.
I still feel her fingers running through my hair. Hair that I haven't
had for over twelve years. I close my eyes and I still see those slender
fingers and those milky white shoulders, I lie alone, naked in a bed too
small for me now and too small for the two of us then. Alone, but still I
feel her lying here with me.
---------------------------------
You may find other stories of mine at:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www
Take a look and tell me what you think.
---
-Krystoff
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|| http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www || kvagabond@mailcity.com ||
|| "Booze, sex, prayer -- whatever gets you through the night." ||
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