Message-ID: <25272asstr$963540607@assm.asstr-mirror.org> X-Original-Path: not-for-mail From: Dirt Nap <dirtnap@altavista.com> X-Original-Message-ID: <8ka1ht$3od$66@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Reply-To: Mkarl2000@hotmail.com Subject: {ASSM} XENA: HOOVES AND HARLOTS In PornoVision By Mkarl Date: Thu, 13 Jul 2000 22:10:07 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2000/25272> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: IceAltar, english, newsman Copyright (C) 1999, mkarl. ALL Rights Reserved This story may not be reproduced in any form for profit or on another website without the written permission of the author. The author may be contacted by writing mrdouble@mrdouble.com or mrdouble@ix.netcom.com. Original posting date: Monday PM, August 23, 1999 A Resident Author story from MrDouble's archive, Filename: xena.txt http://www.mrdouble.com XENA: HOOVES AND HARLOTS In PornoVision By mkarl Okay, Xena, Warrior Princess, fighter of evil and righter of wrongs, tuff girl, but really, in the real world we just know what would be done to the bitch when she loses the battle. I don't watch the show myself as I actually have a little taste, but the odd advertisement I have seen lets me know that this program could be made a hell of a lot more interesting with some very simple alterations to the plot line and the sex quotient. Okay here is the basic pre-pornovision story line, Xena [played by starlet Lucy Lawless] and a friend get caught up in a contrived little plot complication where a group of amazons are being maneuvered into a battel with a group of centaurs by an evil warlord. Of course, Xena sees through everything, kicks some ass and saves the day. [Great entertainment if you are twelve years old or just desperate for some T&A, but I think a touch of PornoVision can really spark this dead horse up.] The rewrite starts where Xena goes looking for the centaurs who she has been told are evil, She is not too sure but this time the warrior-bitch is wrong. Centaur 1: Heeiggh [horse sound as he gallops out from behind the tree.] Centaur 2: Take the amazon cunt. Centaur 3: Quickly brothers. [Xena is quickly surrounded by these fairly realistic looking centaurs. Hell for the purpose of this fantasy, let us assume that they are real centaurs. Now the warrior princess does one of those phony jumps and clears the heard.] Xena: What is the meaning of this? I come in piece. Centaur 2: And you will leave in pieces amazon bitch. [He swings at her with a mace, which she just barely ducks.] Xena: I know that you did not kill the amazon princess. Listen to me. Take me to your leader Tyldus. He knows me well. [Okay revisionist history time.] Centaur 1: Tyldus is dead bitch. He was old and week and I ate his heart. Now we centaurs will enslave you amazon bitches to be our breeding stock. [Xena draws her sword or those stupid ring things and does some phony looking fighting with the three horny centaurs. Ideally, I would like their cocks beginning to show to kind of keep the viewers tuned in because the fight scenes are just normally pure crap from the few seconds of the series I have been forced to endure. Still fan boys need their fix too so imagine the warrior-bitch kicking some horse's ass for half a segment or so and doing some of those stupid screams and phony jumps.] Centaur 4: We are coming brothers [.not yet your not big guy, but considering that you are just one of a couple dozen new entries into the battle, you most assuredly soon will be.] Xena: [breaking character] oh fuck. Nooo! [Centaurs all swarm on the warrior bitch until she disappears in a sea of horsemanity. Perhaps the camera can pick up pieces of the tacky outfit as they come flying out of the pile until the big horse's asses start to clear away and we are left with a battered and beaten, naked Xena being held suspended in midair by Centaur 1 as he rears back onto his hind legs and lets his twenty plus inches of horse cock dominate the screen. Now if that is not a good enough scene to hold an audience through a commercial break, I don't know what would be.] [Following the commercial break, the action has moved back to the base camp of the Centaurs. There are a few hundred of the horny animals but most will need to wait until episode two when they overrun the amazon encampment before they get their release. Xena is bound and gagged which is always a nice sight but seeing the obvious beating she has received to bruise up her hard body makes the average pervert be happy for the long lasting effectiveness of videotape recordings. The camera can stay on our totally defeated Xena as she softly sobs into her gag until Centaur number 2 breaks the silence.] Centaur 2: You cut me today bitch. Centaur 1 said we must wait but you are getting raped now. Xena: [Into her gag] Mmmrgpnooo [Actually, I am keeping the dialogue purposely light at the honest truth is that when you mix a pail of ice cream with a pail of pig shit, all you get is two pails of pig shit. Even my writing can't save the dialogue component of Xena unless the whole show was recast. Now I personally think that spending the extra money to hire real centaurs would be a great touch, but while I am sure that such mythological creatures would have huge cocks and be able to totally fuck up miss Lawless, I doubt that they would be able to act any more Shakespearean then the group of community theater players the show normally employs. Therefore, the less talking and more fucking I write into the script, the more I am sure everyone will enjoy the final product.] Centaur 173 [I really should name these animal-men but the numbers seem stupider] I get to sire her second foul. Centaur 2: Of course, [A horse is a horse of course, of course. Sorry. I digress] now keep alert while I service this amazon cunt. [Okay, if the show is lucky enough to have a real centaur, then I envision Xena being cut loose for use. The bitch obviously tries to save herself and gives us an excuse for some gratuitous male on female violence. Centaur smashes bitch. Centaur smashes bitch again. Centaur takes bitch by the hair and lifts her up to smush a kiss to warrior-bitches mouth.] Xena: I will cut your heart out. Centaur 2: Not tonight bitch, now service me cunt. [centaur pushes the naked Xena down to her knees and jumps up with his fore legs up on a bail or something so his huge horse cock can be at Xena's mouth. Now if the production is using fake centaurs, I see a computer animated thing happening here where the Centaur can use a horse paw [hoof?] to like push [pull?] at Xena's head to force her to start sucking horse cock. If we have the preferred option of a real flesh and blood centaur then I guess maybe the man/horse should like jump up and down [stamp?] on the bitch until it looks like she is half dead or something. Maybe the animal is flexible enough to reach down and use his human hands to hold the bitch while he chokes her on his huge horse cock? I have never even seen a straight horse rape a human before so forgive me if I need to offer a few alternatives as to what might come off looking the best. I see Xena sucking the big horse's cock with a camera close-up though.] Xena: [Substitute tacky cock-sucking and gagging noises here] Centaur 2: [Substitute horse breeding and heavy snorting sounds here] Centaur 173: Suck centaur cock, harlot. Centaur 2: [Whinnying] take my give warrior-whore. [Real centaur has real cum shot into Xena's face. Horses cum a lot and I imagine that her facial features should get totally obliterated in a thick, sticky splash of the slimy spunk. I would like to play up the humiliation of Xena's oral violation and have the centaur begin his cum in her mouth before pulling out to let her start to choke and spit to show that she had been nearly drowned in the foul foal-making seed of the centaur's huge fuck stick. The centaur should still have plenty of love juice to just soak the beaten and thoroughly defeated warrior princess. Everyone loves a girl getting her face soaked by a big horse's cock. Fake centaur could be substituted for by a real horse for this scene or some sort of life size model. I do think real horse's cum should be used to soak Lucy Lawless for authenticity's sake. Anyhow, celebrate the money shot and I guess that is where episode I of the two parter would be ending.] XENA: ALL THE KINGS HORSES In PornoVision Okay, I see Centaur 1 finding the totally fucked Xena screwed to within an inch of her life. The big horse/man is furious as he wanted her to mare for his line of thoroughbreds. Xena can look like she is lying in a puddle of horse's sperm. Camera close-up shows it running down her very battered looking and totally obviously fucked pussy. The big Centaur just lifts a leg and pisses down onto her face to show his disgust what a filthy slut she was. [The fuck scene does not get included so the series can market one of those bull shit hove video offers like Jerry Springer's Too Hot for TV, or the Highlander European editions. Just assume that Xena really got the fuck pounded out of her with a 600-900 pound animal riding her ass and fucking twenty plus inches of horse cock into a cunt made for half that. If you need a more disgusting description of horse sex, read on and maybe Argo will get his mistress too.] Centaur 2: The amazon bitch seems to have found a lover. Centaur 1: She was to be mine. Centaur 2: Obviously the bitch was in season. If you were not horse enough to smell her heat then that is your loss. Centaur 1: [Raising his mace] No one defies me. [Centaur 69 fires an arrow through the heart of centaur 1 from behind] Centaur 1: [Dying noise] Centaur 2: So ends the reign of the unimaginative Clydesdale. Gather your maces brothers as there will be human cunt for all when we conquer the amazon harlots this day. All Centaurs: [Crowd noises and cheers] [Commercial break followed by a plot slow down of some sort of bull shit scene at the amazon encampment. maybe some hot lesbian thing or just a sexy little cat fight to build the anticipation. Centaurs are filmed marching and the defeated and destroyed Xena is brought along for the ride. Bound on her horse Argo. The great stallion carries his once proud mistress now, but he will soon be the one doing the riding of her hot ass. [shameless tease] Xena: [Into her gag] mrrrgh. [boy her dialogue from my scripts has been the best delivered of any acting she has ever done so far by the beauty actress.] Centaur 53: [Is anyone actually keeping track?] Quiet amazon whore. Soon all your sisters will be ours'. [Yup.] [Okay the camera does a mood shot of the horse/men surrounding the amazon base. Some scary/suspenseful type music plays/and we cut out to another commercial] PornoVision is brought to you exclusively by mkarl Internet Pornographer Services: a division of the mkarl family of erotic literature licenses. For information on how to find the complete works of mkarl as well as to just correspond on any of the fine product releases of mkarl or The Depraved Canuck, writemkarl@hotmail.com. That was writemkarl@hotmail.com, all mails welcomed and replied to. [Okay, shameless plug inserted. Now for the payoff battel. Centaurs rush the amazons. Half-naked warrior bitches everywhere are scurrying around trying to find weapons. The Centaurs are striking them down with maces which you would think should be splitting their heads open, but this is a fantasy show so lets just have the girls getting erotically if horrifically knocked unconscious for their eventual defeats. For the sicko's in the audience. Lets have the battle last a good ten minutes so we can get lots of action of girls getting the fuck beat out of them. Some horses jumping on bitches. Some sex started maybe. Amazon harlots getting dragged off by the hair. Etc. Etc.] Centaur 2: [Dragging the totally fucked and devastated Xena into the midst of defeated amazons] Now we celebrate. [Final commercial break. scene returns and there is just like a half hour of every form of gratuitous rape and violence and total sex that you can imagine between centaurs and amazons. Girls get huge horse cocks gagged down their throats. Rammed up their asses. And breeded in their fertile cunts. Often all three methods occur simultaneously. [okay, I don't know if that is mechanically possible, but it is a great image so just picture it.] Girls scream and shriek as horses neigh and whinny. Pretty clear on the winners and losers. This all carries on until it gets ridiculous and then the camera breaks to our Xena who has had her restraints removed and is in a tent with centaur 2 and Argo [her stallion.] Centaur 2: You will make a fine mare for my foals. You still need to learn your proper place bitch. The horse in us makes us superior to you. For too long has this beast been forced to bare your burden but now you will bare his. Xena: Ugggghhh [as the horse jumps his full weight on her back.] [Argo comes down with a hoof on Xena, driving the poor bitch straight into the ground. He jumps again and lands his front hooves on some straw bales so he will not break Xena's [Lucy Lawless's] back. The horse gets his huge, ugly, slimy horse cock fucked hard into Xena's warrior-cunt. The horse flares his nostrils and just gets medieval on screwing the bitch into oblivion. Don't know if she survives and don't really care. I guess you can assume she does and delivers the first of many champion foals some several months later. The show is effectively unable to really film any new story lines but I think a straight to home video of Lucy foaling would be sick enough to back a bundle on the black-market porn industry. Anyhow, That is about all I can manage for a crappy show that I can't watch and can't really care about. If the television adventures of Xena ever take her into an encounter with the minotaur, let me know as that is one thing I could really have some fun with.] You can contact the author with your praise or critiques at write: mkarl@hotmail.com I really am almost as twisted as my writing makes me seem and find it fun to correspond with others of similar spirits. Mkarl The Depraved Canuck August 23/1999 -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> | | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |<http://www.asstr-mirror.org>, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+